Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update UPDATE: Run Away with Me

Episode Date: January 19, 2017

Today we got an Update from a couple, that was at a SERIOUS Crossroads in their relationship just a year ago... The two of them had a huge decision to make about their future together. What did they decide to do? We'll find out what they CHOSE, and how it panned out for them at the END of the Second Date update.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Now for your second date update. About a year ago, we had two people on the phone for what turned out to be one of the most dramatic second date updates we've ever done. It featured a guy named Andrew and a woman named Kate. If you haven't heard it before, we're about to replay it for you,

and afterwards, we'll get a second date update update from them to find out what's happened since their call and where they are at today so keep listening because that's happening right now moving 92.5 brook and jubils second date update today's second date update is a little different from the others because the girl that's on the phone to do a second date update today has actually had three dates with the guy that she wants to call. What? That's breaking the rules. I mean, come on.

Normally the rule is one date and that's it. Not three dates because that's kind of more of a relationship type thing and it's not a second date update. That'd be a fourth date update. But I went ahead and I talked to the girl and she offered me $1,000 cash if we would do the second date update. That'd be a fourth date update. But I went ahead and I talked to the girl and she offered me a thousand dollars cash if we would do the second date update for her anyway. And you

know what? Rules are meant to be broken sometimes. So Kate, you will have my PayPal request in just a little while. Okay. Yeah. So I'll get it right out to you. You didn't know the second date update was going to cost you a thousand dollars. Did you Kate? Well, I didn't, but I mean, I hope it's worth it. I swear, when you hear this story, you're going to understand why. Okay, so your email said

that you've been out on three dates with this guy and now he's just stopped calling you. Tell us a little bit about him. Okay, so his name is Andrew. It sounds really cheesy, but we were doing

like a volunteer charity event and we met there and we were working together so we just had a lot of time to hang out and talk met there and we were working together so we just had a lot of time you know to like hang out and talk and stuff and you know we had a connection and he asked me out on a date and since then it's just kind of been like a whirlwind you know what I mean like you're super into him and you see this going into like relationship status yeah I mean obviously not like right now at this moment because I'm calling you for a reason.

But no, it was definitely like, I felt like it was headed in that direction, yeah. What did you guys do for your dates? Dates, plural. So my first date, it was actually really romantic. We went on one of those dinner cruises, which I probably would have hated if it was someone that I turned out not to be attracted to. But we had so much fun, you know, like if I needed to be trapped in a boat with anyone, that would be the person that I would want to be trapped in a boat with. That's actually a good idea for guys to take girls on a dinner cruise date for the first date because there's nowhere to go.

Yeah. But it does say that he was like really into you because if a guy is going to devote that much time and energy into a first date, he's obviously wanting to impress you. Screw time and energy. Just cash. That's not a cheap date at all. Okay. So you went on a dinner cruise.

That's cool. What did you do for your other dates? The next date we went on one of those like wine and tasting events at a bar, which was super casual and it was fun because there were other people there. And so we got to spend more time in a group of people and see what that dynamic is casual. And it was fun because there were other people there. And so we got to sort of like spend more time in a group of people and see what that dynamic is like. And it was really fun. And then my third one was so sweet because I had just,

I was really stressed out at work. And I think I had mentioned it like a couple times in conversation. And so he booked us a couple of massage. What? That's like relationship status stuff. Yeah. So we definitely took our relationship to the next level

after that and I'm starting to feel emotionally connected to him and putting in feelings and effort and time and since then it has been complete radio silence. That's weird. That is totally weird. To put that much effort into all

those dates. I know. And by effort, you still mean money, don't you? Pretty much. But I mean, you don't buy somebody a couples massage if you don't care about them. No, I mean, I wouldn't spend that much money and I just can't believe he's spent that much money for just a

hookup. That seems like a lot of work. That was the first night you guys hooked up after the couples massage? Yeah. So he stopped calling you was the first night you guys hooked up after the couples massage Yeah, so he stopped calling you after the first night that you hooked up Yes, I know I know but the lead up is so confusing because that you know Everyone's been in the hookup situation before whether they like intended to or not You know they mean and it usually doesn't have that much build-up Usually someone doesn't put in that much time and effort and then go completely off the grid.

It sounds like he was doing all that just to get in your pants. If I'm being honest. Well, it does. If he's doing all this. Seriously, would you do that much? I wouldn't. I wouldn't know. But a lot of guys would.

I mean, if he's putting in all that effort and then stops calling you the moment that you guys hook up, sounds like that's all he wanted. Yeah. I don't know. I also like in my head, I'm kind of, like, wondering, was he, like, just getting out of a relationship? And did he fix things? Did he go back to someone?

And, like, all of it is totally, like, if that were the case, you know, life happens. I just, some kind of answer, just some kind of conversation telling me what happened. That's where my mind goes, too. I think, did you stay the night at his house? Yeah. What was it like in the morning? It was really nice. It wasn't, like, hookup. you know what i mean if you know when it's a hookup you're a woman you know like you've been there you know no most women don't know when it's a hookup i'll

tell you that much i totally disagree with that no i disagree too no most don't know that's why there's clingy women who will text you after and think they're in a relationship when they're not it happens all the time i'm sorry i think's right. I think the majority of women know when a hookup is just a hookup. I completely agree. Okay. Well, maybe the guy's a player and he's really good at it and you don't know. If that's what he's doing, he's really good. So I'm sure you've thought about it a ton then. If you don't think it's just a hookup thing and he was just kind of using you, then what do you think it is? I'm trying to think of anything at this point. I mean, that's why I need your help.

I'm really interested to see why he would stop calling you after all those elaborate dates. And leaving his house, that was the last time you've talked to him. No, there have been like texts, like little texts, like, you know, I've been busy. Like, oh, you're suddenly so busy. He's like scheduling

cruises and massages and then all of a sudden his schedule just got so packed. All right, well, we'll play a song, come back, call him, and get your second date update, okay? Okay. All right, hang on. Moon 92.5. Brooke and Jubal in the morning. Second date update.

Kate? Yeah? Seriously? Seriously? I can't even believe that you want to call this dog back. Like, seriously, girl? You need to move on to greener pastures, okay? Because he totally used you and now he's not calling you back. And I wouldn't even give him the time of day.

You should not be doing a second date update. You need to move the f*** along, all right? Snap out of it, girlfriend. Let's you and I go get some Cosmos and talk about this in your mind this is how female conversations go isn't it that was my conversation with Kate about moving on

Kate are you about ready to call Andrew for your second date update well after that I'm feeling really inspired yeah I bet empowered even

I'm sure the reason that I said that is Kate actually wants to call a guy that she has gone out on three dates with. They've all been pretty elaborate. The last one was a couple's massage. There was like a dinner cruise and stuff in there. Anyway, after they hooked up, after the third date, he stopped calling her. Hasn't responded to anything.

So my first thought is that he just used her and just wanted to hook up with her, and now he's not calling her at all. That's why he's a dog, girl. Kate, what if that is the reason? Are you just going to let him have it? I'm going to be really pissed. I'm going to dial his phone number right now and see if we can get him on the phone, okay? Yeah.

Okay, I'm dialing the phone number. We're good. Hello? Hi, I was looking for Andrew. Yeah, this is he. Andrew, how are you? This is Jubal from Brook and Jubal in the Morning. Okay. I'm calling you because we recently got an email about you from one of our listeners.

I didn't submit for any contest or anything, guys. Yeah, no, I know. This is not about a contest, actually. I just need a few minutes of your time. In regards to? In regards to a date that you went on. Actually, a few dates that you went on. What? Yeah, we do a segment on our show.

It's called The Second Date Update. You recently took a girl named Kate out. She told us a little bit about your dates. They were all very elaborate and very romantic. But now you're not calling her back and she's very confused. I'm just not, I'm not sure what to say. Well, you could start by telling us why you would blow her off after three dates. It's not as simple as that.

Okay. Yeah. I'm not trying to sound confrontational with you. Like it's, I mean, I just want to know what happened. And more than anything, she wants to know what happened because you guys went out on so many dates. And she said that they were all pretty romantic and you seemed like you guys really liked each other. Yeah. It's just a weird situation. I'm trying to – it's been in my head and I'm just trying to figure this stuff out. Does that mean that you are actually maybe in a relationship with somebody else? No, no, no, no, certainly not, no.

Okay. I wish it was that simple. It's more complicated than that. Let me ask you a question, just an easy question to answer. Did you like Kate? Yes, very much. Okay, so you did. I did and still do.

Okay, so you still do. Well, then why not offer her the respect of letting her know why you're not calling her back? Well, I just accepted a job offer in Germany that I just, I couldn't turn it down. You what? I leave in a couple of weeks actually for Germany. Whoa. And that's why you're not calling her back?

Well, I feel strongly for her. I still don't know how to tell her, you know? I mean, I don't know what to say to her. I just figured the easiest thing would be just to, you know, disappear, fade away. What are you talking about, disappear? That's like the coward way out. You owe it to her to talk to her about what's going on. Like I said, this is not an easy situation.

I'm struggling as far as how to deal with this and what to do. Why are you struggling so much? I mean, you guys have been out on three dates. It's not like you've been dating for months and months and months and you're leaving. Why not just call her and say, hey, I'm moving. Sorry, we can't see each other anymore. You know, I mean, I really like her a lot. Okay.

So you see a future with her. If you were going to stay here and Germany wasn't in the picture, there's no question in your mind that you guys would continue this? If I was going to stay here, definitely. No question in my mind. Wow. But now that the reality is Germany, there's just no chance of that

because, you know, I'm moving. You guys could maybe try a long-distance thing. That's not fair of me to ask her to do something like that. You know, she's super sweet. She's gorgeous. That's not fair. Yeah, but how do you know?

You don't know. I mean, you're putting your feelings on her like you don't know how she would react actually I am putting her needs first she doesn't deserve to be in a long-distance relationship like that with someone she deserves someone who's gonna be there with her contributing to her life I'm putting her needs way above mine I still know what to say it sounds like you really like her a lot yeah yeah I do man that sucks like honestly if I were in your position that would be hard to meet somebody that you're I mean I guess it sounds like you really like her a lot. Yeah, yeah, I do. Man, that sucks. Honestly, if I were in your position, that would be hard. To meet somebody that you're, I mean, I guess it sounds like you're falling for her,

and then you're like, man, now I've got to move. Yeah, it sucks. But some consolation, German chicks can be kind of hot. Okay, okay, Dupal, that's not where we're going with this. Any day, making more money, obviously. Can I ask one question, though? Did you know that you were going to Germany before that last couple's massage slept together night? No, no, no. In fact, this is from a previous

situation I had that developed over the course of three or four months. So I thought that the opportunity had kind of fizzled out, but it turns out it was just taking a little bit more time. And then they made me an offer. I just had to jump on this. I'm just really excited about this Germany thing. It's the dream job I've always, always wanted. But at that same time, you know, I feel like I could be missing out and not being able to share something like that with someone like her. Well, then why not just talk to her about it? I agree.

I know it's early on in your relationship, but why not just talk to her? Man, easier said than done, guys. Not really, because she's actually on the line listening. Excuse me? I said she's on the other line and listening to this conversation and wants to talk to you there's that kate's on the phone yes she is yeah hi um i don't really know what to say this This is a lot. You've been on the phone the whole time? The whole time.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I stopped calling you. It was the only way that I saw to handle this. It's okay. I don't really know what I would have done in this situation either. I just wish you would have done in this situation either. I just wish you would have told me. But what was it I said?

I know. I didn't even know that you even, like, applied. You know, like, you didn't even, that wasn't mentioned. It was in regular conversation, you know what I mean? So it's, like, really out of left field. Well, yeah, I honestly, I thought that that prospect had kind of just fizzled out long you know long before I even met you so it just kind of popped out of nowhere again it just really sucks because I like have really I mean I have I have strong feelings for you I have strong feelings

for you too it's just not fair for you for you. It's not fair for us. You know, life is just not on our side, it seems. Well, Andrew, maybe life is on your side, and that's why you guys are being connected in a second date update to talk about it. I guess. I mean, I think about you every day, and I want, you know, I mean, a long-distance relationship is really, really hard. And it's not fair of me to even apply something like that or even ask that. It's only been three dates, but, you know, I can't stop thinking about you. So my heart says something, and my mind says something different, you know?

Kate, I'm just going to ask for you. Would you do a long-distance relationship? I don't know. I mean, somebody's got to step in and ask her what her opinion is on that whole matter. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know because it's not really being put on the table. It's not like a real question. So I don't know. It's so soon and it's so new. And in general, would I do a long-distance relationship like in general in life would I consider it well yeah I would but it's not really it's not really what's being asked

well the simple fact of the matter is you know long-distance relationships suck you know I mean this is really hard I mean my heart says something in my mind says something different you know I'm thinking that I just need to sever this cut this this off, but I can't stop thinking about you. So I'm feeling like I need to ask you to go with me, you know? I know that's crazy. I shouldn't have even said that. I'm sorry. I'm not even going there.

I feel like I just feel like I'm falling for you, you know? You don't want me to go with you. I mean, we've been on three dates. We can't. That's not like a real. Is that a real question? Well, I don't think. I don't want to put words in your mouth, Andrew,

but I don't think you were actually asking her to go with you. I think you were saying that's the way you feel. You know, I'm just not sure at this point. This phone call is really. It's even more confusing now, it seems like. It sounds like to me that if she would say yes, that that is exactly what you're asking. I wouldn't want to ask her that.

You know, that's just a huge bombshell to drop on somebody. You know, it's a lot of pressure to put on her. Let's play a game, Andrew. Let's put this relationship seven months down the road. If you guys have been dating for seven months, would you ask her to go with you to Germany? Yes. Wow. Kate, what do you think about that?

If you were dating seven months, would you go? This is like all like all hypothetical situation. I mean, if we had been dating in the same way that it's been, if we just continued down the same path that we started, I don't see why I wouldn't consider it. But you guys have a couple weeks or whatever until you leave. I mean, you could bond. You could spend every day together. You could see how it goes up until then. And then maybe in six

months, she could come join you. You've got it all figured out, Brooke. Yeah, she does. She's so excited. You know, this whole thing is just crazy, you know? So let's just step back and let Kate process this. Well, how about you guys process together? Would you like to go out in a second?

Well, fourth date with Kate. We will pay for you guys to go out again, at least, before you leave. Yeah, talk about it. Kate, do you want to go? I mean, yeah, yes, of course. You can. Yes. All right, well, keep us updated on what happens.

Okay. Okay. All right, we'll try. All right, and until you leave, Andrew, I want you guys to process as much as possible. Okay. All right, we'll try. All right, and until you leave, Andrew, I want you guys to process as much as possible. Just keep processing every night until you leave, okay? What you just heard was a second date update with Kate and Andrew from over a year ago. And now they're back on the phone for a second date update update. I'm so excited.

You guys, welcome back to the show. Hey, thanks for having us. Thank you. No problem. So you guys had a lot of options on the table. And, like, a lot to process at the end of that phone call. I know it was about a year ago now, but what did you guys decide to do? We decided to hang out as much as we could up until the last second.

I think we had three more dates. And they were really great. It was awesome. But it felt like way too much to kind of move to Germany after a month of dating. Okay, so you didn't move to Germany with him after just three more dates? No, I did not. That's probably a wise decision. So what did you guys decide to do?

Just call it quits altogether? Yeah, that's the update. They're just over. They haven't talked to each other for a year. Yeah, that's the update. They're just over. They haven't talked to each other for a year. Yeah. We text once in a while. That's it.

Well, actually, you know, I mean, it was a bit too much for her to join me in Germany. So we decided we would try it out, you know, try the long distance thing if we could. Really? Yeah. Okay. We decided we would meet as often as possible. But it was challenging for sure. So how long did you guys go after you left for Germany without seeing each other? We would meet as often as possible, but it was challenging for sure. So how long did you guys go after you left for Germany without seeing each other?

It was like four weeks from when I left to when I saw her again, almost a month. Okay. And what was that like, the first time you guys saw each other after not seeing each other for a month? Oh, it was great. It was great. I was so excited to see her. Good. I didn't want to let her out of my sight, so.

Okay. And then, obviously, you had to go back to Germany, though. Yeah. I didn't want to let her out of my sight, so. Okay. And then, obviously, you had to go back to Germany, though. Yeah. So, yeah, you let her out of your sight. Yeah, a little bit. Okay, Jewel. So, has the long-distance thing been hard? I mean, it's exciting when you see each other again, but the time in between is, it's almost impossible.

Do you guys Skype a lot? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. All right. Thank you, Skype. Oh, my God. Yeah, I bet. So did you feel like your relationship grew,

or did you just grow apart? You know, it was really complicated, and then it just started to feel weird, you know? And, like, I don't know what it was, but it just wasn't working. Not being able to see each other not to build that foundation just made it really you know a trial after trial uh you're brooding my romantic comedy in my head you know there's just all those day-to-day things that you want to share with someone and you know we try to fill each other in but sometimes you only have a few minutes or i'd only have a few minutes so we

always kind of felt shortchanged, you know? Yeah, that'd be hard to date somebody who's halfway around the world. Yeah, every time we were Skyping, either one person was middle of the night. It was hard to get caught up on sleep or vice versa, you know? So it was just hard. Not to mention, like, filling him in on day-to-day life. Like, oh, you know my friend Sarah. You're like, actually, I don't because we went on four dates before I moved to Germany.

So I don't know any of your friends. Right. Yeah. So, well, at least you guys can still stay friends then. I moved to Germany. So I don't know any of your friends. Yeah. So, well, at least you guys can still stay friends then. I mean, it sounds like you're cool with each other. Well, you don't know the whole story. What? There's more to the story than that?

There is. In fact, I moved back to be with Kate. What? You quit? Wait, you quit Deutschland for Kate? I quit the dream job for the dream life with her. Wow. How romantic.

Wait, so wait, you are still in love with each other? I would hope so. We live together. What? You live together? Wow. You just dropped that on us like that, huh? So you left to Germany. You guys dated for a little while long distance.

Then you quit your job and moved back. And now you guys are living together. I wasn't able to sleep. I was just thinking about her all the time. It just wasn't working for me. I had to, you know, it wasn't out of fear. It was more along the lines of I wanted to be even more happier than I was with my dream job, and that means to be with Kate,

and I'm very happy. And plus, the food in Germany is terrible. So, really, so much sausage and kraut before you have to head back home. Exactly. Kate, were you worried about him choosing you over his career? Like, you could be a regret at some point? Yeah. I mean, it's a lot of pressure. I feel like I was sort of

playing the devil's advocate and trying to tell him that he didn't have to do that. I would just ask him, are you sure you want to come back? And his answer was always yes. Sounds like you did it. Congratulations. I wasn't expecting that. It sounded like you guys broke up.

I know. You saved that to the last minute, Andrew. Yeah. You want to keep in suspense a little bit. Okay. Good job. Hey, I had to wait six months, man. You can wait like five minutes.

Moving 92.5. Ugh. We're so done with New year, new you this year. It's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini is because you know, you always like them more of you dating with intention because you know what

you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right.

I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups,

this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.