Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Second Date Update UPDATE: The Crappening

Episode Date: August 17, 2023

A few months ago we were shocked that Jack and Nicole agreed to go out on a second date, and we were even more shocked that they emailed us back with an UPDATE about their lives!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Second Date Update. One of our listeners, Jack, emailed us saying he just went on the most unique first date he's ever had. Ooh, I love hearing these. And even though he says he probably wouldn't ever do it again, he says he did have a good time.

Which is funny yeah it's what most guests say when they come on our show have fun yeah probably never gonna do that again once in a lifetime experience for a reason jack welcome to what might be the most regrettable experience of your life hey guys how's it going thanks for having me on i like your attitude man yeah we're gonna try and change that by the time you leave us. But what was the name of the lady you went out with? Her name was Nicole, and we met on Bumble. Oh, cool.

Oh, you met online? I like Bumble, man. Before we get to whatever your date was, lately we've been asking people to tell us about what was on the person's profile if they met them online. Oh, no, it did not work out last time. The last time it backfired. Do we want to do that? So we can only improve on what happened from before. All right not work out last time. The last time it backfired. Okay. Do we want to do that? So we can only improve on what happened from before. All right.

I like that attitude. I like to get to know the people before we call them. We can improve. So what was on Nicole's profile? So her bio, this is what her bio says. It says witty, sarcastic, and won't put up with your blank. Ah. BS, I would assume.

I like her already. No wonder you swiped on her. Very important, though. Describe the picture to us, bro. Important to you. Yeah. No, I know a lot about women. I like ideas to copy you.

Yes. You've been single for a while. I know. It's because I know what to not look for. So the first picture, is this her, like, I guess she's on a hike or something, it looks like. Of course it is. She's toxic, bro. What? Of course it is. She's toxic, bro.

Jose's turned off. She's toxic. Okay, that sounds like millions of people go on hikes. Exactly. There's millions of toxic people out there. That just means that she's a little low maintenance. She likes to be outside. Okay.

Or she went on a hike once in five years and posted a photo. Maybe talking about her picture isn't the best idea. Let's get back to the bio. What else does she say about herself? Oh, this was the funniest part. It says that she loves to celebrate minor holidays. Oh, that's a funny thing to put on there. What does that mean?

Minor holidays? How minor? What's that? Yeah, I had the same reaction. I messaged her about it, and she said minor holidays like Jelly Bean Day, National Compliment of Stranger Day. Oh, those random ones. Basically made-up holidays. There's one every day, I think.

What did you guys end up doing for your date that was so unique? So, I kind of used that last bit as an inspiration for our first date. Oh, really? That's cute. Yeah, we decided which day we were going to meet up, and I looked on the calendar to figure out which minor holiday was on that day.

And I found out it was Thomas Crapper Day. Thomas Crapper Day? Thomas Crapper. Who is Thomas Crapper? Oh, so Thomas Crapper, he's the guy who invented the modern toilet. That's why we call it that? Wow. Who was his partner, Theodore Flusher?

Wait a second, though. So funny. What kind of date are you going to do around Thomas Crapper Day? Not really hot. A pool date. Are you sure you didn't want to choose a different day? Honestly. I love it.

A different holiday? Well, I looked it up, and there's actually this thing online where you can find, like, a list of the top toilets in town. There's like this list of 10 of the most beautiful toilets. You can actually go to each one and visit it. I don't know if I could be a part of it. So you guys went to visit the coolest

restrooms in the city. That's exactly what we did. That's what we did for our first date. Dude, that is amazing. How could she not fall in love with him? Are you sure? I could give a few reasons. I think it's so funny.

Well, I guess, what did she think? She liked that idea? I mean, it seemed like she got a kick out of it. I think she thought it was really funny. And honestly, I gotta admit, some of the toilets were beautiful. Like, some of the views were incredible. Oh, wow. Wow.

Did you spring this on her, or did you tell her pre? You know, like, did she know what she was getting herself into that night? I told her beforehand. Okay, that's good, because that's not a, like, that wouldn't be a good surprise. And remember, it's her like. Totally. She's the one who likes it, so I'm sure she was into it. Is this a situation where you just go to all these different toilets and take a look, or are we actually testing them out?

What are we doing here? Look or leak? We used a couple of them if the timing was right. I don't like any of this, honestly. This is so fun. Were you able to have some drinks? Yeah, there were a couple of restaurant bars. We were able to get a drink at a couple

and snack on some food as well. So there was some normal, you know, date activity going on as well. It wasn't just toilet viewing. Toilet talk. Okay. Well, that sounds good. What about, so how did it end? With a flush?

No. How did you two leave it? Double flush. It ended okay, I think. I mean, we were both really tired Because we saw all ten All in the downtown area And walking to each one You were pooped?

Oh, God Too exhausted to get a little kiss in there? Yeah, no kiss She just gave me a quick hug And she said, call me I think you went to too many Oh, too many I I think you went to too many. Oh, too many. I see what you did there.

Sometimes I really hate our own show. But I see on your email here it says it's been a week since that date happened, so we're going to play a song. We'll come back. We're going to call Nicole for you. I can't wait to hear her review of this date. I don't know if I want any more details than we've already

got. I think it's fascinating. I just hope she's not in a pinch. We're going to do it at our own risk. It's coming up with your second date update next. You're in the middle of a second date update update

and we're going to find out how the couple is doing right after you hear part two. In the middle of a second date update with Jack, who went on a toilet tour of the city recently so funny they should be john they found a list online of the top 10 toilets in the downtown area went to all of them in honor of thomas crapper day because his date nicole

likes celebrating funny minor holidays and that happened to be the holiday that their date fell on absolutely but here's the thing. Before we call Nicole, I had a quick conversation with producer Boyd out in the hallway. Yeah, what? And something that we actually do on this show, surprisingly, is our due diligence. Before we call people, we double check and put

their phone numbers into our database. Do we do do that? We do do it. Just to make sure, you know, we're not getting scammed or people are just trying to get free dinners off of us using our gift cards. And when we put Nicole's number in. What do we find? We got a match. She's actually been on the show with us before as someone asking us for a second date.

Shut up. We've had her on second date before? We have. So, Jack, here's the deal. We're still going to do this for you, but I'm just letting you know now, it's going to be different probably if she does pick up because she's going to know who we are. And she's going to remember that you're on the line, Jack. Yeah, she'll know that you're there already.

Yeah. That's a little odd. Wait, did she get a date when she was on? Was it like a successful one or a failed one? From what we found when she called us, she thought she was going out with a guy who was from a really wealthy family. But when we called him, she thought she was going out with a guy who was from a really wealthy family. But when we called him, it turned out to be a different guy. She had Googled someone who had the same name.

So she didn't want to date him again. Am I remembering right? Yeah, and they didn't go out again. She wanted the rich guy. Smart girl. So wait, are we going into this thinking she's shallow? Shallow people are okay. But I mean, look, she wasn't a rich guy, not a poop guy.

Oh, my God. Let's call Nicole and see if she answers and what she has to say. You ready to do this, Jack? Yeah, yeah. Let's see what happens. All right, here we go. Hello? Hey, Nicole. Oh, yeah. her voice sounds familiar hi nicole it's your favorite morning show

hey if you say the wrong name it's going to be very upsetting she's like is this ryan seacrest oh my god is this jeff and brooke hey that was gonna be awkward. What's up, friend? Well, she still didn't quite get the name right, but we'll give her credit. You got the names right. It's close enough, yeah. How you doing?

I'm good. How are you? How's your dating life going? We missed you. Wow. It's a lot of guys. Aw. Well, it's been okay. Yeah, better than the last time we chatted.

Oh, really? So an improvement. That's a good sign. We're not surprised to hear that, actually, because we heard about a date that you went on recently. Wait, what? Yep. It's happening.

This is happening, Nicole. Somebody actually emailed us to get a hold of you. Oh, no. Oh, I'm on the other side now? Yep. Yes! How does it feel? Oh, no. We should really get, like, a frequent other side now? Yes. How does it feel? Oh, no.

We should really get like a frequent flyer card for this. Oh, like a little punch card? Yeah, yeah. Like a frequent failure card. So I don't know if you know who would have emailed, but we're reaching out now on behalf of Jack. Oh. Don't say it like that, Nicole.

No, he's nice, dude Yeah I'm dying to hear your review of the date The toilet date that you guys went on Yeah, yeah, exactly Well Exactly I love that he was creative And that he really read my profile

And saw that I was really into celebrating little holidays and went out of his way to make a date that was tailored to that. So that totally won me over. That was super sweet, super cool. We thought that was pretty thoughtful. Yeah, and it was Thomas Crapper Day, which

learned a lot. Lucky you! Very funny, very creative, but also kind of gross. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, oh. Well, it's like you would think that if it was a list of the 10 best toilets, they're all going to be really clean, you know?

They all had candles and nice lighting and were clean. Okay. Fancy toilets. And he said you guys got to have drinks at different bars and maybe. Oh, yeah. You know, he had the whole thing mapped out. So there were like stops for snacks and drinks. That's so awesome.

So what didn't you like? Well, at one of the bars, they had those really big pretzels. Okay. Those are good. And, you know, we were trying to fit everything in. The whole pretzel in your mouth? Brooke's like, I can relate. Well, he wanted to do, like, all 10 places in one night.

So, you know, we also have, like, you know, like timing, right? But he's ambitious, so that's a good thing. Right? Again, great stuff. Okay. Good. But he hadn't finished the pretzel before we went to the next bathroom. So he brought the pretzel into the bathroom.

Oh, he was eating the pretzel in the bathroom? Chewing the pretzel. So the air exposure. I mean, you were there. You could open all the doors. He didn't have to touch anything nasty. Going in there still. I mean, they say when you flush a toilet all the doors. He didn't have to touch anything nasty. Going in there still. Yeah.

I mean, they say when you flush a toilet, that's where the most particles are going all over the place. But nobody was flushing toilets at the same time he was eating, right? It's a bathroom. Yeah, but it got worse. Got worse. Okay, there's more. Uh-oh. Yeah, so the next one was next to an office building.

Okay. Okay. So we had to go in an elevator. Yeah. And he brought a bowl of soup. Soup? What? What do you mean? Soup.

Like, where did he get the soup from? So we had stopped at the next place. He was like, oh, this place has great soup. So he got soup and I didn't realize, like, we walked out and I turned around

and we're in the elevator and he's got a bowl of soup and he brought the soup into the bathroom. Oh, wait, so the of soup and he brought the soup into the bathroom. Oh wait, so the He's eating soup on the toilet? No, just in the bathroom. He even set it down on the urinal

so we could take a selfie. That's even too far for me. Food and bathroom don't go together. Well, this is a new wrinkle to the story that we hadn't heard yet and i also kind of want to see the selfie of you next to a urinal actually i'm actually interested in that too but a hot bowl of chili first nicole you probably already know that jack's been listening the

whole time oh yeah of course yeah so why don't you uh why don't you hop in here with us and tell us what you were thinking there. Sorry, I'm a little confused. I don't see. This is weird, Tio. I don't understand. Putting a bowl of soup on the urinal is weird. That's where Brooke draws the line. Yeah.

But no one else is in there. No one was using the facilities. I wanted to take a picture. I guess I could give you that if it's empty and it's not being flushed. No, I'm not giving him that. And Nicole, did you ever voice your concerns about the open bowl of soup? No, I'm not going to say anything to this barbarian who brings his soup into the pooper. Now he's a barbarian? That's a little much because I know for a fact Brooke eats burritos on her toilet at home.

But it's my home toilet. It's not a urinal. I know exactly how clean that place is. It's pretty much on her toilet at home. But it's my home toilet. It's not a urinal. I know exactly how clean that place is. It's pretty much a burrito factory. Brooke, you should be on Jack's side here. You guys are kindred spirits. Urinals gross me out. I mean, to be honest, I've always kind of done it.

It's just like, it's a very convenient place to, like, I eat most of my breakfast in the bathroom. Oh, no. What are you doing at the same time. It's efficient, I guess. Like all the time. Especially on weekdays when I'm getting ready for work, I'll just bring my oatmeal or whatever I'm eating into the... Ooh, my omelet's done.

It's a fibrous meal, you guys. It's a fibrous meal. How do we know Thomas Crapper didn't eat French onion soup while he was doing his deal? I'm assuming it's a fibrous meal how do we know thomas crapper didn't eat french onion soup while he was doing his deal i'm assuming he's a french guy i don't know i mean i just think it's not like it's not like he's going to the bathroom and not washing his hands right thomas you're washing afterwards yeah yeah of course i mean i still still observe all the bathroom etiquette, but sometimes I have some food in there with me. Honestly, I thought everyone did that from time to time.

Okay. Maybe not everybody, but a majority maybe. And, Nicole, I mean, this doesn't— Minority. Enough people. Enough people do it. More than one. It's a quirk.

I mean, here's the thing. It's a quirk, Nicole. Nicole, this is like kind of a small thing that we should be able to get over. And if you can, we would send you out for another date on us. As long as he promises not to bring any food in the bathroom, we can have a second date. Jack, can you agree to do that? All right. If it means getting another date with you, Nicole, I will cut it out.

Look at the sacrifice. I never thought that would be such a big ask. You asked to do it. What a gentleman. All right, yes. What a gentleman, she says. So are you going to go out with this gentleman? Come on.

Okay. Okay. Yeah, we did it for Nicole. Yeah, that date didn't go down the crapper. Yeah. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. It's been a few months since that call, but we've lined our entire

studio with paper toilet seat covers because Jack and Nicole are back on with us again for an update update. Oh my God, I can't wait to hear how many toilet dinners they've had. What's up, you two? Welcome back. Hey. Hey, how's it going okay you're both there okay where are you at in your relationship well things are good we actually

kept on dating and jack moved in with me about a month ago how's that been it's good it's well. Jack, have you stopped your habit? Yeah, I mean, I kind of had to unlearn it, but I have been officially, I've been house trained not to eat in the bathroom anymore. Wow. Yeah, yeah, no, he's been great. I mean, there was one time I caught him eating a popsicle in there,

which was a little weird. Oh, a popsicle. Jack, did you just need to cool down or what? I mean, it was like July. It was extremely hot. I like how he has to be monitored at all times. Like, where are you bringing that hot pocket? Mister, you better eat that in the kitchen.

Well, to be fair, since we're sharing stories, she has also some pretty weird bathroom habits as well. Oh, really? Okay, here comes the fight bathroom habits as well. Oh, really? Here comes the fight later in the apartment. Yeah, what? A lot of times I'll hear her singing when she's on the toilet. I'll hear her through the door singing.

Oh, cool. Oh my god. Don't tell them that. That's not any worse than eating on the toilet, I don't think. I don't know, hearing like, I came in like a wrecking ball. Okay. Women do not do that.

No. Hey, you know, the bathroom has good acoustics. What can I say? That's always true. Oh, congratulations. Yeah, we're happy for you guys. Make sure you keep us updated on your relationship, okay? Thank you.

That's your second date update update. It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.