Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update - Textual Healing: Breakup Breakfast

Episode Date: June 4, 2026

Maria is caught in a complicated entanglement of the modern dating scene and she wants our help to UNCOMPLICATE it in the weirdest way possible. It's your Textual Healing Podcast!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Number one hits, millions of records sold, awards, sold out tours. You think that Jonas Brothers are satisfied? Nope, it's podcast time. We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions. Hey Jonas is available now, and their first guest is a big one. Paul Rudd. You know, Steve Carell is a great singer. Can you tell you not to audition at the office or something?

I told him. Whoa. We were filming Anchorman. Clearly, I was the idiot. Thank God he didn't listen to him, right? Listen to Hey Jonas on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey everyone, this is Teddy Mellencamp. And Tamara Judge from Two T's in a Pod.

There's been one scandal that's consumed our lives these last couple of months. We're recapping the three parts Summer House reunion. And as always, we're being brutally honest. We're dissecting timelines, receipts, blind items, and previous episodes. Amanda and Wes, watch out. We're not getting to be easy on you. Listen to Two T's in a Pod on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Your husband is not who you think he is.

Your body is not what you thought it was. Your identity is formed by a secret history. I'm Danny Shapiro. And these are just a few of the stunning stories I'll be exploring on the 14th season of Family Secrets. He kind of shoved me out of the way and said, move. And he went out the front door and he jumped in a car and drove off. And that was the last time I saw him.

Listen to Season 14 of Family Secrets on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Podcasts. Every family has its secrets. But what happens when you discover that your dad has been living a double life? That is not the look of an innocent man. Is everyone lying to me about who they are? I felt such desperation.

I felt it was what I had to do. Listen to Deep Cover the Family Man on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. June is Black Music Month, and on the Drink Chams podcast, we're speaking with the hottest names in the culture, like Sway Lee. Do you realize how legendary you are? I appreciate that. I'd be seeing it, but I'm like, man, I still got, like, so much more to do. Like, Prince, he dropped, like, 30 albums.

We dropped, like, five right now. Like, that's the rate we gotta be going. Yeah, that's a good attitude. No matter the era, Drink Chams brings you the biggest names and the most unfiltered conversations. Listen to Drink Chams from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. All right, we got a new episode for you today, and it is a textual healing.

Yes. That's where somebody needs help with a texting situation, and well, that's where we step in. Yes, and we don't get to do these that often, but I love what we do. We don't, but they're fun. But first, we got to talk about Costco guy yesterday, executive members only. Yeah, people are not a fan of executive members only guy. Someone said, well, actually, is this too bad to read? Maybe not.

She was exposed to too much Costco gasoline as a kid. We'll skip that one. Oh, my goodness, what a judgmental stop. She could do much better. Sounds like a guy who thinks he is self-made with a silver spoon up his butt. Oh, my goodness. And then somebody else who said, I was waiting for Kai to be in on it with the LARPers. Oh, well.

Yeah, I could see that. Maybe that'd be good for him. Yeah. He needs to put his energy somewhere else. He needs to get into a little larping. Yeah, a little live action roleplay might fix Kai. All right. Well, we'll see how you feel about today.

Today's episode right now. The modern dating world has so many different levels of relationships that you can be in. And it really depends on what you want. You're actually right. There's like categories now. Something for everybody out there. It's kind of nice because there's a casual companionship where you hang out but it's not romantic. A situation ship where it's romantic but it's not committed.

A monogamish where it's committed but not serious. I've heard that one. What word would you describe your situation, Brooke? Mine's just marriage. Wow. Don't say it too romantically. Sounds so hyped on it. It's an old word.

Like retro. One of our listeners is caught in a different type of complicated entanglement, and she's hoping that we can help uncomplicated. I hope it's not as complicated as Brooks thing. I know. I don't know. Good luck with that. layers here.

And she wants to do it in the weirdest way possible. She's asked for our help. You're going to hear it right after this. How many times on this show have listeners asked us to help them break up with their significant others? Oh, no. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. That's why we created an entire segment called Brooke breaks you up.

Yes. I am not in the headspace for this today, Jeff. Well, get ready. Here's the good news, Brooke. Yeah. You don't have to do this. that today. Oh, good. Okay. Because this couple has already had the breakup talk. Oh, good. And I guess the issue is, the problem is the breakup isn't happening fast enough. What? Wait, does the breakup happen

right after the talk? I don't, that's what I think this listener is saying in her email. But before I confuse my co-host any further, let's just talk to Maria about it. Maria, welcome to the show. Hey, how are you guys? You sound chipper for a lady who may or may not be in a relationship. That was very We've officially confused everybody in the room, Maria. So what's the situation that you're in with this guy that you're dating or not dating? What's going on? Okay. So I started dating this guy like six months ago.

His name is James. Okay. And what's the situation with James? Well, I do really like spending time with him. He's a good guy. But it's just, it's not a relationship that I ever kind of saw getting too serious. Like when I picture my future husband, it's just not him. Okay, but why?

Why isn't it him? I don't know. They say like when you know you know, but also you know when you know that it's not. Okay. You don't know. That's fair. That's fair. Like the spark isn't quite right.

It has nothing to do with who he is as a person. It's just not clucking. And it kind of hurts, but at least you're being honest. Have you been honest with him that he's not husband material for you? Oh. We don't need to say it that way. I don't think she told him to his face. I hope you're not doing the brain.

breakup calls. How honest are we being with James? I mean, a couple months into us dating, I could kind of tell that he was more into me than I was into him. And so I basically told him like, hey, I'm having fun with you. But I just don't know if we should continue what's going on between the two of us. And so what was his response to that? Honestly, he took you really well.

He was kind of joking back, like, well, if you want to break up with me, you can't do it until your mom's wedding because you already invited me. Oh. Okay, do you mind bringing them to your mom's wedding? Honestly, no. Like, we kind of came up with a solution is that we'll do the wedding, but we're going to have a scheduled breakup date. Okay.

After your mom's wedding or in the middle of your mom's wedding. No. That's really cordial. Like, it's kind of cool. Yeah. So the wedding is coming up or it already happened? Yeah, so it just happened. Great.

Oh, congrats to your mom. So it's go time and time. So that's the thing is that we decided that it would be. two weeks after the wedding. Okay. Just to wind it down a little bit after like the joy of the wedding. Or maybe not to make it look like it was your mom's fault that you're breaking up. Oh, fair. Yeah, I mean, we just didn't want to do it like directly after.

And honestly, like we had a great time. We had a good run. And I wasn't stressing about it. But then a funny thing happened while we were at the wedding. James was off eating and talking with family and stuff like that. And I ended up meeting another guy. Oh. At your mom's wedding?

Wow. Maybe the new stepdad's got some hotties in the honor. No. No, it's nothing weird. It's not like a stepbrother or anything like that. He's friends with my new stepdad family. Okay. And, you know, it was really cute.

It was sweet. Like, we had instant chemistry. And he asked me out. Cute. It was. It was really cute. But the only thing is, is he's going to be leaving town soon. and the only day that he can meet up is the day before our schedule to break up.

Oh. So you just need to change the day to the breakup. Wait, if you guys already know you're going to break up, if you go on a date with some, that's not cheating. You guys are done, right? But remember, this guy likes her more than she likes him, so it's going to affect him differently. Oh, so she's still thinking of his feelings?

At the end of it, it sounds like you just want to keep it clean. Is that right? Yeah, well, I also really appreciated him being so cool about everything and still wanting to go to the wedding and all that. Like, it's already a weird situation. I'm trying to just do it the best way that I can. Can I ask, are you guys acting like boyfriend and girlfriend right now? I mean, well, we're still technically together, so, yeah.

Okay. But we're not doing Brooke breaks you up. Instead, what she's requested is some textual healing on our behalf to text her current guy, James, and ask him to push up the date of the breakup. Yeah. I just, I want to move it up by one day. Oh. You know, this is the first time.

I feel like the breakup conversation via text is allowed because you've had so many breakup conversations prior to this. But what if you have something planned? Like there's a last date meal. Do you have anything planned like that special? The plan for us was to kind of do breakfast together at the same diner where we first met. Oh, full circle. Oh, wow.

You guys are like so poetic about this. I know. I feel like a text. break up might just be back at this point. So how do we start the conversation? Well, what if you be direct with him, but also unavailable at the same time? That sounds passive and aggressive. How do you do that?

Yes, that's the perfect sweet spot that we're going for. So if I'm you, I want to put it in their court and let them make the final decision on how to proceed. We're just so, Jeffrey. Nobody even understands. And my life has worked out. Jeffrey hates making a decision. My life's worked out pretty good.

I would say, listen, I'm so, so, so. sorry, but my plans have changed and I have a conflict on that day and I'm not going to be able to make our breakfast sad emoji. That way, you are owning like, it's my fault but that day doesn't work.

And then you see what he wants to do with it. He likes you so much. I'm scared. He's going to push it a year out. I don't know. I think this is a terrible text to send, but just for experiment reasons. And Brooke loves experimentation. So let's try. There we go.

Yeah, okay, I like that. Let me kind of write it out and see. Make it sound like you're upset. Like, hi, I'm so, so sorry to do this, but my plans have suddenly changed. I can't make our breakup breakfast. Oh, we're going to call it the breakup breakfast now? Well, whatever you want to call it. Jeez.

Okay. And then put sad emojis. Like, you really were looking forward to that. God, it feels so bad because something else is more important than breaking up with it. I know. That's what I'm like. gonna ask what could be more important than me? I'm just going off of what we know about

this guy and his personality and he was cool with the whole concept of a breakup date. Oh, you know what? He might not be as devastated. The woman doesn't like him and he'd still go hang out with her for three more months. This guy? I mean, he's good with the flow. He could be a guy like Jeffrey that likes others to make the decision for him.

Yeah, you just tell me how my life is going to turn out. So, Maria, you make the final choice here. What do you want to do? I don't want to be responsible. See? That's good. Okay. I'm going to say hi. I'm so sorry, but my plans have changed this week. I'm going to be camping on Saturday.

Oh, you're just going to make up the lie right now. Camping? I would be less specific. Exactly. You go camping just so that way I'm out of town. Yeah, that's right. No service. Well, you can't say I'm out of town. Why can't you make up a round that you have to go to out of town? Because he would be the date.

Okay, I'm just going to say that I'm out of town. I think that's good. There you go. I got, send the text message. And okay. Okay, I sent it. And I put it at the end, I put the, I can't make our planned breakup breakfast. Oh, you did say that. And I did say that.

That's the sad emoji. Okay. There you go. It's like, are you sad because of the breakup? Or are you sad because you can't make it? Well, whatever happens, it's on you 100%. I would take no responsibility. Yeah.

And when we come back, we will see if your soon-to-be ex-boyfriend has responded as we continue, textual healing, breakfast breakup edition. And it's coming up right after. this. Good music choice. Oh, yeah. We're in the middle of textual healing with our listener, Maria, who's been dating a guy for almost six months now and realized just a little while in that this isn't going to be forever. Yeah. Which is okay. It doesn't mean it's bad. Yeah. Not a forever thing. Totally. So they made the choice, you know, since her mom was getting remarried, why not extend their relationship just a little

bit longer and came up with a breakup date. Yep. Which is a specific day on the calendar when they both agreed the relationship would officially end. The only problem is a new love interest has suddenly resurfaced for Maria. So she's come to us wondering how can she text her current guy James to let him know, I actually need to move up our breakup date without being too specific about why. Without saying I found another guy who's super hot and I'm really into him and he's leaving for work.

So I need to get this date in. Yeah. I mean, most guys would take that so well. But James, we're a little worried about. I am curious how he's going to react because I'm thinking, how would I personally feel or how would any of us feel if you're him and you get that message. Well, and even though he's more into you than you are to him, like he obviously agrees this isn't a forever thing. Else he would have fought harder to, you know. Sure.

So he might be a little bit of him. little hurt or he might be totally cool with it. Maria, has he responded? He has. Oh my gosh. Okay. What did he say? So he texted a picture of McCauley Coke and

Chateau Malone. Like the one where he puts the shaving cream on or the after shave on and he screams. And he's like, oh, okay. Yeah. I can visualize it. Okay. Is that it? No, and underneath it, he froze. reactivating my Tinder as we speak with a spark emoji.

Hey, that's good. So does that mean you're just single now? Yeah. Maybe that's the text. You need to ask. What does this mean we're done now? What does that mean to you, Maria? That's the thing.

So we've had this whole inside joke thing going about how we're going to reactivate our Tinder accounts at the exact same time when we break up. Okay. So he's being funny with you. He's really funny. Like, honestly, like, this is why I kind of wanted to date him in the first place. Kind of wanted. Yeah.

Just from the way that you're reacting, it sounds like you don't even want it to really end. Like deep down, I don't know. That kind of reminded her, right? What do you like about him? I don't know. She seems to be on a date with a new guy. Yeah, that's true. It just sucks because he's being super charming and I hate it.

You know? I mean, a break-ups are easier if one person is just bad guy. Yeah. You can't be indecisive now. Yeah. Because from his text, it sounds like he's cool with it. It's over. Yeah.

Yeah, this is... This is... It sounds like the best case in area. Right. Well, that's the thing. It's like it should be over in a few days, but like it shouldn't be over like right now. Oh, no. Wait, are you saying now that you feel like maybe you like him and you don't really want it to end?

Feels like that a little. No, like for me and him, I just, I just need to confirm that it's done officially. You know what I mean? I mean, didn't he already confirm it? But Coley Colkin just confirmed it. Yeah. Like, for sure. I mean, I guess he did it through a joke.

You want like, like, actually. written words we are over? I mean, I just, I have to, like, figure out how to do this, so I know that there's, like, an actual, like, that it's done. Okay. Is there a chance that maybe you're disappointed in him being, okay, with it? Not caring. Yeah.

Not pushing back more. I mean, no, I just, I don't know. I already made my decision, so I just have to go through it. Yeah. Well, look, if you want to keep it with the funny light mode that he's been doing, maybe just type in the date when you first started dating with a dash to today's date and then a little tombstone emoji. Yeah, RIP. I like it. And a thumbs up.

Oh, my God. I think it's good. He's being funny. You can be funny. What do you think? Yeah, I know I do kind of a lot. Okay. Jeff, you're really funny.

Are you single? Hey. How do you want? Yeah. Yeah, let's focus on the goal that you came to us. hoping to do. What do you think about what I said? Sending the dates with the dash and the tombstone emoji. Yeah, I like that. I'm going to send that right now. Okay. All right. So we're just wrapping things up. This is actually, like, I feel like a really good example of how we all should handle breakup.

Yeah. And be able to be cool afterward. Every relationship should have a premeditated breakup date. And Maria, by the way, I forgot to tell you, chime in any time if you see him texting you back or you see any dots or anything like that. And if you see dots, also let us know. Yeah, because that's very important to this show. Oh, it's so good. Okay, I need to tell you something. What? Uh-oh.

What? I didn't send the tombstone text. What did you send? What did you send? I didn't send anything. I think I'm starting to have feelings for him more than I'm running. No. These are going to last a week.

You can't do this. You're just stringing him along, and then you're going to actually hurt his feelings. Like, this is a graceful way to do this. It's all happening so fast, and now I'm just like second-guessing it. Okay. Listen, we get that you're confused, but we are on a time limit here on this show. And if you don't know what you want to do, then we have no goal to reach for. No, I know.

I didn't need to put you guys in this position, but I guess I want to enjoy the last three days of them. Okay, I don't know that that's an option. If that's how you feel, then why don't you just send that then? Oh, my work trip got canceled. Yeah. Looks like I had a camp site is booked. It's on fire. I can't go there.

No, she lied about the. What are you going to say now? I'll just tell him that I'll see if I can move the date or something like that and just that I want to at least have our last couple days together. Oh, boy. I would love to hear the response. Do we have time to hear what he says back to the app? This is when you see the power pendulum swing. Yeah.

Now he's like, what are you doing? She likes me too much. She's saying over there. She's so into me. Okay, I sent it. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. This is.

Doesn't have a lot of time to respond. I think you're going to be heartbroken this weekend. So, uh... Yeah. We've gone from, like, wanting to move up the breakup date to not having a breakup date to now. It's back to the original breakup date. Like, nothing ever happened? Back to Brooke saying, I wish all relationships handled this way.

Seriously. No wonder, they can't. Yeah. Everybody can try. At least it's not confusing for anybody. Oh, my God. What? Oh, my God.

He sent me a message. Oh. Why are you laughing? This is the most important one of the whole thing. He said too late. And he sent a screenshot of his Tinder bio. He already restarted it. That's actually so funny, though.

Oh, my God. He's literally on Tinder right now. Have fun with a new guy, Maria. Yeah. Oh, my God. I'm going to go. I have to re-download my Tinder so I can rematch them. Oh, wait, what?

No. Not if one of us can get there first, ladies. You're in a healthy men. state, Maria. Feel like textual healing achieved. Hey, but listen, she did finally let him make the choice, just like you wanted to. That's right. You did it.

What are we doing with the other guy now? I'll stop. Yeah. Enjoy trying to rematch with your ex-boyfriend on Tinder. Oh, my God. I feel like she's going to stand outside of his apartment, just so the geo tag is much enough. Swiping.

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. I'm Cynthia Lloyds, and I'm Josie Dye. done pretending we have it all figured out. Each week we laugh, cry, and talk our way through life's messiest moments. The things you think about but would never say out loud. The questions you are always too shy to ask. Relationships, regrets, awkward moments, and the stuff no one warns you about. It's honest, it's funny, and sometimes it gets a little uncomfortable. But that's kind of the point. This is Cynthia and Josie's Unmentionables. Listen on the free I-Heart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Number one hits, millions of records sold, a

Sold Out tours. You think that Jonas brothers are satisfied? Nope. It's podcast time. We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions. Hey Jonas is available now and their first guest is a big one. Paul Rudd. You know, Steve Carell is a great singer. Can you tell you not to audition at the office or something? I told him. Whoa.

We were filming Anchorman. Clearly I was the idiot. Thank God he didn't listen to me, right? Listen to Hey Jonas on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Is it harder to rematch with someone on Tinder after you've already been in a non-serious exclusive six-month relationship with them? I would think emotionally it's harder. You could set your categories really specific. Yeah, you know, her age. It's like between 22 and 24, this location.

This color hair. Yeah. Maybe it's just like the normal thing on Tinder where everyone's just going through the rotation until they wind up back where they started. You know what? Actually, I remember being on Tinder. and I unmatched with somebody or I matched, and then I didn't go back on the app. I go a week later, she's back in my options.

I'm like, what the heck is going on? Is it like reaching the end of the internet? Yeah, I know. It just makes me so happy for her. I feel like she's right where she wants to be. I don't think she knows where she wants to be. It just reminds me of every friend going through a breakup ever. That woman needs to be single is what she needs to be.

She needs to work on herself a little bit. Yes. We have asked Maria to keep us updated on her breakup and her possible rekindling. Well, she was in on you by the end, Jeff. I don't know that I want to be updated on this one. There's so many updates. I'm good, just leaving it big. Plus with the new guy, who knows what's going to happen.

But if you enjoyed that, we've got plenty more textual healings up on our podcast at Brooke and Jeffrey. And in the spirit of this call, we want you to subscribe, unsubscribe six months later, and then we subscribe to us all over again. And then just watch us. Yeah, that's fun. It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Hey, guys, it's us. The Jonas Brothers. I'm Joe.

I'm Kevin. And I'm Nick. And guess what? We created our own podcast called Hey Jonas. We invented a podcast? Well, we didn't invent it. We just contributed to it. We get to ask other people to do podcasts.

We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions. Well, sick and tired is a strong way to put it, but, you know, tired and sick. Listen to Hey Jonas on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it. Hey, everyone. This is Teddy Mellencamp. And Tamara Judge from two T's in a pod. There's been one scandal that's consumed our lives these last couple of months.

We're recapping the three-part summer house reunion, and as always, we're being brutally honest. We're dissecting timelines, receipts, blind items, and previous episodes. Amanda and Wes, watch out. We're not getting to be easy on you. Listen to two T's in a pod on the I-Heart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Your husband is not who you think he is. Your body is not what you thought it was. Your identity is formed by a secret history.

I'm Danny Shapiro, and these are just a few of the stunning stories I'll be exploring on the 14th season of Family Secrets. He kind of shoved me out of the way and said, move, and he went out the front door and he jumped in a car and drove off, and that was the last time I saw him. Listen to Season 14 of Family Secrets on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Every family has its secrets. But what happens when you discover that your dad has been living a double life? That is not the look of an innocent man. Is everyone lying to me about who they are? I felt such desperation.

I felt it was what I had to do. Listen to Deep Cover the Family Man on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's something that should not be as complicated as it is. a racist statue removed. And here's something that should be a whole lot easier than it is, getting a new one put up in its place. I'm Akila Hughes, and Rebel Spirit Season 2 is about both of those things. As I was watching these statues come down, I was thinking about what it meant that I grew up in a majority black city in which there were more homages to enslavers than there were to enslave people. Listen to Rebel Spirit Season 2 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts.