Brown Bag Mornings - Ep. 626 The Firing Protocol for Girlfriends + The Great Sour Cream Tamale Debate | Brown Bag Mornings (12/23/25)

Episode Date: December 23, 2025

The crew tackles a high-stakes Homie Helpline where they debate if a homie should break up with his girl during their anniversary beach trip, eventually suggesting a "firing protocol" that involves parking unmarked cars and making a clean getaway. The comedy continues as the squad gets into a heated argument over whether putting sour cream on tamales is a culinary masterpiece or a "flagrant foul," all while roasting Greg for being a "gentleman of the night" for a woman who already has a boyfriend. [Edited by @iamdyre 🫔]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Before the podcast starts, make sure you like, subscribe to the channel, leave a review, and send the link to a friend while you're at it. The more brownback, the better. Come on. Sparrow 106, LA's no more for hip-hop. When is the ass? What's going down, Victor? Look, so there's a bunch of movies that always, every single holiday season spark a debate, whether they are a Christmas movie or not. So I'm going to list of movies, and you guys are going to tell me yes or no, all right?

So, Die Hard. The original Die Hard, 1988. I don't remember. I never saw it. It starts as a... You never saw it. No. Okay.

All right, that was a concrete time. What about you? What do you think about die hard? Is that a Christmas movie? Why I was so glossy this morning? Why are you so glossy right now? Brother? You guys are dumb.

Ignore. Ignore. Die hard. It's not cry hard. Hey, cry, what you think? Hey. You're on.

You're on. Why, Craig? The favorite start? A double famous star A double famous star Okay Is diehard a Christmas movie Is die hard a Christmas movie?

Sure I never even seen that thing What I? What I do? Okay Batman returns 1992 Oh no

Yes it's a Christmas movie Why would it be a Christmas movie Because Snowing? Yeah it's snowing Christmas trees around Okay Yeah

It takes place like around that time Okay, what about the nightmare before Christmas? Yes. Yeah. Is it a Halloween movie or is it a Christmas movie? Well, it's a nightmare before Christmas, so it would be Halloween. Right? Well, no, it's the night before Christmas.

Christmas is in the title. Yeah. And Jack Skeletton becomes down. How much before Christmas? Both holidays happen. Yeah, that's what I make. It starts. The movie starts as Christmas and ends, I mean, starts in Halloween.

Halloween and ends at Christmas. But if it was a nightmare before Christmas, it would be Thanksgiving. No, it's been Christmas Eve before. Christmas Eve. And Halloween is it? Halloween's two months. Yeah. Facts.

Good, you guys are paying attention. You guys know your months. The tears are getting in the way of thoughts, bro. All right. I can't see. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer Stone Letty. Yes, yes, it is. And it's an amazing Christmas movie.

And that's why when you go to Universal Studios, it's snow capped and all of that. You can have a butter beer, super Christmas vibe. He stays at the school during the holidays because he has no family. Oh, and that's when most. And that's when most of the BS goes down, right, during like the holiday. Yeah, okay. What about Rocky Four? There's a big fight.

The big fight that takes place is on Christmas Day. Yes. I don't. I'm Googling that too. You've never seen that with Drago? What? Isn't he even like running in the snow too? Yes.

Yeah. Christmas movie? He's in Russia. Mother Russia. If he dies, he dies. If he dies, he dies. If he dies, he dies. That's when Apollo Creed.

You're not saying like the main one. Clubber Lang. Which one? What you were called? The one that Angie doesn't do the Christmas movie. Oh, supposedly home alone? Home alone. That's 100% of Christmas movie.

That's not even up for debate. To me, it's just like, it just happened to be during Christmas. It's just a bad parenting movie. Like, nothing was centered around Christmas. So then if you say that, then that means. Yeah, weren't they going on a Christmas trip? Oh, I don't know. Yeah.

Yeah. I just thought they were. They left for the holidays. Going on vacation because that's what they do. For the holidays. For Christmas. But I guess that even doesn't have anything to do with Santa. So like elf has to do with Santa.

It's an elf, right? Santa Claus. The Santa Claus, Miracle on 34th Street. Like Santa. Santa is like Santa related Santa was shoveling the snow in Home Alone Yeah but he was a guy with a beer

A bi character Well then I guess is Friday after next A Christmas movie? Yes 100% The Christmas party It's not push like that though

It's a Christmas party yeah But they don't push it as a Christmas movie Yeah Don't really do they Yeah And do you know they don't But And you what are your top Christmas movies

As a Christmas Oh for sure The Santa Claus 1 2 and 3 Oh yeah Wow That's not up for the Yeah. So that's your top three?

Yeah. Nice. That's, wow. That was, wow, that was three. All right. That's so. When even your Amuela says. Hey, no, miho.

That's not funny. You know it's a dad joke. Rosecrans Vicks' dad joke of the day. It's a Rosecrans Vick. Dad joke. This is where we judge whether Vick's dad jokes are hitty, hitty-hita. My dad's not funny. He's like fluffy.

He did He did Really? Yeah My dad's not No Why are you Yeah

Go Why is that funny Oh no It's stupid It's stupid Do you feel dumb right now No My papa

No My papa no is chistoso Vick What's your What's your joke in the day Why is Santa Afraid of getting Stuck in a chimney

Why is Santa afraid of getting stuck in a chimney? I feel like I've heard it before. I don't think I've ever heard it. He has claustrophobia. Oh, I haven't. No. Clostrophobia. That's good. I like that one.

That's funny. Very bad joke. You like it? Yeah, rate it, rate it. That's good. From a 1 to 10? Yeah. Zero, zero.

Oh, zero. Hi. Don't forget that option. I'll say a 7. Oh, nice. That's like the. Hey, thank you. Yeah, Greg and Khan.

I'll give it an eight. I give it a solid eight. A solid eight. I think you could do better, but I'm going to give you six. We'll just find out. Okay. Tomorrow, okay? All right.

My brother came over this past weekend. He lives in Vegas. He's 12 years older than I am. He showed me hip hop. I love him so much. I love you, Jerry. But we grew up a little bit different. And it's so funny because we kind of had this standoff.

And I just have to share. So he's my half-brother. He's my dad's son from his friend. first marriage. He clearly grew up with his mom too. And I think that his mom, like, uh, I don't know, gave him everything.

How do you say spoiled in Spanish? Marquis? Oh, I wouldn't say that. No, no, no, but they complied a total. What's like, yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, yeah. And like, that was her only kid and that she had everything that he wanted, right? On our end, my dad did that to us.

to me and my sister and probably more to me to be honest because I was the youngest you know like he even to this day that he lives with us he'll make me coffee in the morning he'll like help me with anything that I need like if something's broken my dad's gonna fix it

when Angie first met me too she's like your dad loves you huh he cuts you fruit yes I could just be sitting down and my dad comes and brings me fruit it's the best thing in the world I love my dad forever so my brother is over and he's coming from where he kind of is consented on his mom's side

and I'm coming from, I'm consenta from my dad's side. A.K. I've never really had to serve somebody. Like, even when we're doing Pozole, my husband was serving, and granted, he's the taller one. It was like big ass pot. And so he was serving and then I was passing out. So he kind of had a thing. But I was thinking like, none of my cousins would have done this.

Like, it would have been their girls doing it. Whatever. My brother comes up to me. He's like, yeah, I want a coffee. And there's coffee. Make it. And he's like, he can't, he's like, an inspiration. like he's doing an order

he's doing an order to me and I'm looking and I'm catching it and I'm like no like and he's like oh it's because there's a machine right there I was like oh that machine don't work but there's like stuff to make coffee and then he's like he's fried like what the you mean yeah there's a machine

to make coffee. Why do you just have a machine there? Do something for myself? No yeah no but he was like he was frazzled like what you mean woman? Yeah dude and I just walked away and I don't know how I don't know if my husband made it for him Or what my cousins did. I don't know how it ended.

But I just kept thinking about that moment where I come from where my dad makes me everything. And he comes from where his mom makes him everything. And he's expecting me to make his coffee. And I'm like, no, we don't do that here, sir. It was so crazy. Why did you do that to him? Well, maybe he was doing that out of respect because he's like, I don't want to go into your stuff. Can you help me?

No, he doesn't know any better. Like, I'm like the first grandchild. Yeah. And so I've always just been like my grandma serving me. or whatever. Like when she doesn't serve me or like somebody doesn't? Something just feels a little off, right?

Yeah, like what's going on here? You feel lost? Everybody. And then like, you'll do it. But it just feels a little. Wait, what? Yeah, like I wait. I'm like, anybody gonna?

Okay, all right. I'll just do it myself then. Anybody can serve me? But he doesn't, like, it's just his natural inclination. I didn't blame him. I didn't blame him. We were just in a standoff. Like, all right?

There's stuff. Make it. And he's like, well, you're a woman, make it. And I was that. It's a Mexican stand. Shout my brother Jerry. He's a selfie too Oh, that makes sense

Dude I didn't know that Salvi standoff Bye I pui No, too Bye I put All right Check this out

Homie You need a homie Or need some help We need your We need a line I mean Phone line We got you for

The homie Helpline Santiago Yes He hit us up And said Hey Brownbag I need your help

Since I can't Seem to do Anything right Oh Emo All right He said You can call me

Santi It's me and my girls a one year anniversary on Monday and I wish it was a happy time but our relationship has been up and down. Problem is, I'm always doing something wrong in her eyes and honestly I'm fed up. The other day she said she wants to feel

like she did when we first got together that I don't get her flowers, that I don't comment on her Instagram post and now all that stuff feels like a job. Oh God. I get her flowers on special days. I take her on dates. I make time for her but it's always something brown bag and for real I want to break up

with her. Nope. I've done all the things she's asked me to stop falling certain people, et cetera, et cetera, but I'm never enough. I want to break it off, but I've never broken up with someone before. I kind of need some game, not going to lie. Today, we're going to the beach for the anniversary. Should I do it there? No. I don't want to just text her. That would be insensitive. I just feel like I couldn't do anything right in our relationship, so I at least want to get the breakup right. Wow. This guy's in the spin cycle. Though I look at it sometimes when you just seem to like not be able to get,

get right with your partner is that you guys may have different love languages. Yeah. Like maybe what means love to you and what means love to them is different and so you're not showing each other. Or you could think, like you could think I'm showing you I love you because I did this or I did this way, but they're like, no, you didn't tell me I need to hear it. Yeah. And it always feels frustrating because it's like I'm giving it my best effort.

Yeah, because relationships can be subjective. Like Santiago's effort might be an A. Plus to somebody else. But to her, it's a D-minus. Yes. But you're right. Santiago is demoralized. He cannot do anything right.

His girl's asking for flowers on a random day maybe. Hey, you treat me like you did when you first got together. See? Yeah, that's why you got to treat them like crap at the beginning. So they can never say that. Victor, for your one year you got a tattoo. What are you going to do for your second? What?

Santiago. Yeah, Santi. Take my advice. I won't take my own. All right. let's help Alat Santi, he wants to break up the right way. Any way you're going to get judged for respectful because it's a breakup. You never want to break up.

Never have sex. It's a breakup? Anybody in here? Yes. Yeah. It never works. It's like the worst thing to do because everything gets read wrong. Okay, so yeah, try.

True. And then it's just a back and forth and there's blocking. Then it's like no closure. It never goes right. I can say something in the nicest way possible and they're going to take it as I'm yelling or if I'm being rude. Should breakups even go right? No.

But it can go right. Oh, and I broke up with my girlfriend. friend of a long time, but I was in my house, in my backyard, and I was like, yo, like, this is not working because of this and this and that. What? I gave her multiple chances to change. You gave her multiple chances. Just change ways.

Like, we both had to change our ways, so I changed my ways. And I was like, all right, if I'm going to change my ways, you better change your ways, too. Did you do the unfollowing of girls like this, like Santi did? Yeah, I actually did. Yeah. Like, I was like, I, I unfollowed. I stopped liking pictures. I stopped doing all this type of stuff.

Now, what I want is this. and you couldn't do it, so I'm done. And I told her that straight up, support my dream instead of hating on it in a way. What was your dream? What do you mean? This? Anyone got the issues?

I just have to make sure. Getting on the radio, pissing everybody out. That's my dream too, bro. It's my dream. It's a shared dream. I piss off the people you don't piss up. You piss off the people I don't piss out. And they're like when I DJ, there's going to, of course,

I network with people. Like, I meet women. Yeah. Not every girl that I meet. I'm trying to, yeah. Shishish, shh. And that was a problem. When I'm in a relationship

You know, yeah, because I'm saying Like, we hear you every day And like literally every girl you meet You're like, well, yeah, because he's a free bird. I'm a single man. But when I'm in a relationship.

Yeah, but like I guess those thoughts are in there. Yeah, but when I, Even as a single man, you wouldn't be like that If that was who you were. Yeah, if that was, no, not, you know, I'm serious.

Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to think about it. I would like, now that I'm single. Like, it's like, it's a character thing. Yeah, there's like certain girls. If single, you're like a creep dog, but not with somebody, you're not a cook dog perp?

When I'm with somebody, I'm like locked in. That's my girl. Like, I'm specifically just for you. So, right? It is true. Okay, I get it. And then you gave her the ultimatum. She didn't change.

No. And she even said it herself. She's like, you gave me a chance to change and I didn't do that. And like, I took that for granted. Okay, so then why are you blocked? Because apparently I, I. You did it wrong. You did it?

Yeah. Apparently I cheated with a person that doesn't exist. You just cheated? I was like, hate when that happened. Hold on. No, I was like. Those imaginary girls come out of it. No one was like.

I had a whole, like, message sent, like, paragraphs sent to me and everything. And I was like, who? Like, who the hell are you talking about? And it wasn't able to be proven. It may, it may, well, yeah, it may have been fishing, not going to lie. Yeah, it was. Like, it may have been, like, to see if you admit to something. Yeah, that's what it literally was like, yeah, you're just trying to find something.

Yeah, we do that in Girl World. The homie, Santi needs our help. He's never broken up with a girl before, okay? Right now he's thinking that the speech may be the best way to do it. Oh, rookie. Him and his girl have a one-year anniversary, and he just wants to. to cut it before it even gets there and they're going to go to the beach and he's like I don't know should I do it there I feel texting would be insensitive I feel about like how where should I do it

yeah so bring forth your breakup stories okay have you ever got broken up what at the beach you what was the breakup like he needs some OGs in his life to let him know like bro this is how you break up with her okay yeah he says he couldn't do anything right in the relationship he at least wants to get the breakup right that's right He's going to ruin the beach for this girl for the rest of her life. Yeah, oh, it is. Okay, we got Fernando and Garden Grove. Fernando, good morning.

We got to talk to you about our homie, Santi. He wants to break up with his girl that tells him, like, he can't do anything right. We did ask him, he said the anniversary is next Monday. So he has a little bit of time. Because I'm like, dude, we have no time if today's the day, whether you're going to take her to the beach and break up with her. It's their one-year anniversary next Monday. He's trying to figure out if they have a plan to go to the beach.

Should he just do it? It seems like a beautiful moment. It seems like I can never do anything right in the relationship. At least give her a beautiful send-off into the abyss. Oh, you want to see some effort? Yeah, he doesn't want to do it through text because he feels like that's insensitive. And he also says there's no cheating involved. That is just he can never do anything right and wants to figure out how to just break it off.

All right, Fernando and Garden Grove, what would you tell the little homie, bro? You know what? He's just going to have to do it memorably and just do it there in person, you know, just, you know, I'll just be like, hey, you know what? It ain't working out. And then just call it quits because that happened to me and I had to drive back with her. Oh, my God, what happened to you? Oh, man.

We went through Redondo Beach and we were going to go to Tony's end. And I was like, oh, you know, this isn't that. And then it was like, hey, you know, I've been meaning to tell you. I'm like, yeah, what's up? And it was just like, she broke up with me on the spot. And I was like, dang, I was like, now I got to drive back. And mind you, we live in Orange County. So we're like, we were driving back.

I was like a 45 minute drive down to 405. Awkward. I'm sure this was probably before Uber Times, but did you consider just leaving her there? She broke up with you. No, this was just a couple days ago. Oh, baby. Hold on, hold on.

This is still fresh. This is like memorable to me. So now I'm like, hey, someone's got to get my leg back. So now somebody else has got to do. Do to them what was done to me. Fern. Why did you not just make her get an Uber? Yeah.

It was going to cost me money. I'm the one thing for you. No, you don't have to pay for it. She broke up with you. Yeah, she's not your problem anymore. Exactly. He like, who won't, like, why did you, why did you give her right home for her? Well, you know what?

The thing was, you know, I got a couple of baby moms already, so. Couple? How many? What does that have to do with anything? How many? Hold on. Hold on. Listen, this is where it goes.

A ver. One of my oldest son's grandpa was like, hey, you know, if he ever goes somewhere with someone, you know, be a man and wherever, wherever you pick them up, drop them off. And that's something that always stuck with me. So it's like, you know, it's somebody's kid. One of your ex-suegros gave you life advice and then you just always think about it. Yeah, because it's like, you know, it's like, that's somebody's kid. You know, I would hate to get a phone call from one of my kids, you know.

You're also someone's kid. I would hate my kid to take a girl out to a restaurant and right before and already have the taste in his mouth for the pizza and it's at the beach and it's far away. and you're trying to make it work. And her, hey, before we get out, it's over. Yeah, but you know, I got... You're a good guy. You're a good guy.

You're a good guy. For being mama, do you think we get on four tickets to universities? Four for four. All right. We're trying to help Santhi. Santi hit us up. That's so crazy to hear your own story. Like, and it's not you, but it's like other fools are going through the same thing.

Yeah. All right. Santi hit us up. It seems like he cannot get it right with his girlfriend. They've been together about to be a year. Next Monday, one year anniversary. And he's like, it should be. be good, but it's not. It's ups and downs. It's been tough on me. I never get anything right.

I do the changes she asked for it, and it just is not happening. We're going to go to the beach for our one year. Hopefully I get the beach right, the dry right, the GPS, there, everything. I'm wondering if I should break up with her there. I've never broken up with someone. I do need that game. I need the help. Please, please, please. Let me know what you guys think. On the line, we have Gabby and Noho. What's up Gabby? Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Gabby. Gabby, talk to us. What should our guys Tanti do. I think no matter what he does, he's going to be kind of in the wrong. He's going to get blocked.

If he doesn't want to text, I mean, it is what is, right? But I'd say meet up with her somewhere, like, I don't know, have her meet him somewhere for donuts or something, somewhere quick so you can get in and get in and get out. And think about where you're parking. You don't want to be in a little parking lot. And, like, now you've got to get in the car. And go, no, you go first. So you go first. Just park around the corner.

Let her park in the parking lot. Go in, get it done, and leave. She's an expert. I like this, Gabby. You have all the tips. Yeah. Are we breaking up with some? somebody or committing a crime.

Park around the block. And you don't want surveillance to catch you, so you got to make sure you come in an unmarked car. Wear gloves during the breakup. I haven't broken up with anybody in a really long time. I've been married 15 years, but I've had to have to fire people, and that's what you do. Hold on. You're giving him the firing protocol. Wow.

So if my boss asked me to meet at a public location. No, no. Definitely, you're going to get fired. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Wow. Don't go for donuts at your box. Wow. Let's go to Kelly and I go.

Kelly. Kelly. What up? What up? Talk to it, Kelly. Y'all come with the big craziness in the morning with this breakup one, but soon, this is what I would do. Since they'll anniversary on Monday, right?

We're going to do Monday night football. I'm going to invite all my friends, and I'm invited her friends, and it's going to be a welcome back party. And when she gets there, she's like, welcome back. Welcome back. You're single. And then do your thing.

By the end of the night, she's going to see you getting drunk with your friends doing your thing. You're going to see her drunk with her friends doing her thing. And if he did it right, they're going to break up. But if he failed like he always fails, they're going to leave together. So it's going to be one of those. It's going to be what it's going to be by the end of the night. I get what Kelly's saying is because Santi does everything wrong. So it's like setting yourself.

up for failure, which is actually success. I get it. I get it. But he doesn't want to stay together. But he doesn't know how to do anything right. It's guide math. They'll be together. He's in thinking right now. They'll be together.

We're going to ask them. So what happened? Oh, yeah, we're still together. She tricked me into staying with her. So do a breakup that you can fail at. And if you fail, then you stay together. But if you succeed, then you're broken up. Angie, what happened?

Dude, okay. Last year. We're supposed to not be judging because presents, right? Yeah, be thankful. Yeah, be thankful. But last year, one of my sisters, she gave me, like, a re-gift. How you know it's a re-gift? Because I know she went to some, like, event, okay?

And you know how when you go to events, they give you free stuff? Yeah. She gave me heels with the brand. Like the brand that gave up. Well, heels come with brands, Angie. No, no, no. But let's say, like, she went to that specific, like that, yeah, brand, right? And they gave you free stuff all the time.

What kind of brand is? Let's make up a brand. It was like a makeup brand. Okay, I make a brand. They don't make heels. Yeah, they don't. And they gave away branded heels. Yes, that's nice.

But then she gives them to me and it's not even my size. And so I told her. No. Yeah. And I told her, I'm like, well, can I at least exchange them? She's like, no, if they don't fit you, that, that's it. So now I'm just with those heels. Oh, my God.

So we're going to give them to now. Why? She wears them. No, I honestly. Her feet are scraping off the cliff. for the shoe I just tossed them

wow you could have given up to someone in need they were like a size nine I'm a six and a half there's someone in need I'm not a size nine

let me chill out no I'm not saying you're in size nine you're in need fool somebody can somebody can like yeah like there could be a size nine out there

why didn't know where to give them so I just tossed them like what's the big old deal about regifting some stuff it's not but it's just like that's coming from a regifter oh yeah all day yeah but it's not like you're

like a blender is cool because it doesn't fit it doesn't need to fit me okay like I went golfing with the like Ben Baller thing and then I like I don't go I don't golf so I gave all the golf stuff to like Jordan's dad or Jordan's brother

Yeah but did they knew it was from there Yeah this one is you're trying to pass off like you bought it Okay how about this one wrapped in it No no no okay that's different That's going to extra mile My Theo's birthday was a couple weeks ago last month and he loves L-AFC when I went to L-AFC

they gave me some hats so I handed him a hat and I was like happy birthday that's not a gift that is they gave it to me he did actually no because like you already know

that you said happy birthday here you go yeah and you wrapped it you already know you're gonna give I didn't wrap it I just gave it to them it was already for them in your mind

like say you what no no I realized it was his birthday and I looked at my trunk and I was it what sucks is when the person that gave you the gift thought about it it was thoughtful gift to them

and then you go and re-gift it yeah okay I got it from a brand too though And Vic your trunk is not going to solve everything Okay bro He usually does His answer for everything Hey did you bring the Disney costumes

We were supposed to dress up in Christmas Oh yeah let me go look at my trunk Remember? Remember it? It bails me out a lot But then he comes back and it's like Oh I didn't have it You know what's in that trunker now You're not very pop-ins

And that thing is forever I am Why you're not His trunk got robbed one time Oh yeah At the strip club So what I do now is I just put so much junk back there They don't even want to look through

Oh, that's a mess. Who wants to look back there? You don't have a cover? Too much junk in the trunk. Like a cover for it? Yeah. And a bunch of stuff on top of it. Yeah.

That he never has. When we ask him for it? No. It's somewhere. I brought it. It's just, I can't find it right now. It'll make things work. Okay.

All right. See what happens in the back of Tesla trucks? Dang. Oh, you have one too. I have one too. That was the front. I heard. The fronk.

The fronk. The fron. The fron. What was? What? What? Six seven. What?

Guy to be single. All of it's, we're, what is it? We're four fifths in relationships. Four fifth. Oh yeah. There's five of us. Four of us are relationships. It's not that crazy.

But Greg over here, the one-fifth over here. Oh, by myself. Oh, gosh. How long have been single, Doug? Like, how long have you not been in a serious relationship? A serious relationship? I'm going to say about six months. Oh, so it was serious with Ruth?

Six months? It was serious with Ruth. Oh, I thought it wasn't. Tell her that lady that has two kids that you never wanted to meet, but you dated. Tell her, tell her something nice for the holiday season. Night Christmas. Come back and miss you. Oh, you do.

I'm not buying it. I wish you were here for this, bro. Dude, he would bathe them on air. He never wanted to meet those damn kids. You never wanted to meet the kids. No. You did it. I got you that.

Wait, you got them a switch. You liked those. No, no, memory card. Wait, you were gifted that? Yeah. Okay, because the kids wanted a switch and I was trying to encourage him. I was like, bro, just buy it for them. They would love you forever.

So I bought him the memory card for it because everyone needs a memory card. And now he had to buy the other piece of it, which was the switch itself. Exactly. I'm not going to buy a car. I'm going to get you the tires on. Pretty nice. The oil change. Some nice friends.

Okay, but now it's Christmas time again. Yeah. And my family's for the holidays, I keep asking when, like, where's my next girlfriend? And what am I going to do in my life? Stuff like that. Yeah, that usually happens when you're 29 and still living out. Yeah, like, I'm just to start asking those questions. I run my 30s and then I was like, damn, should I bring my home girl around just to like shut them up?

But then, like, I don't want them to think that I'm with her. Okay, does she think she's with you? No, she was a boyfriend. Oh, my God. Wait, wait, wait, wait. The one you go to Disney. Yeah. Oh, my.

Oh, yeah. That boyfriend's a lame, dog. She would spend Christmas with you instead of her boyfriend? Yeah. That's crazy. What does her man do? Is her man away? I don't think he has a job right now.

That's why she doesn't want to kick it with that fool. I don't think he has a job right now. You can't provide. That's crazy. How do you know or how do you guys become friends? Because y'all are the ones that say guys can't be friends with girls. They can't provide the life she wants. What are you talking like you're from Slovenia?

Yeah. Greg, do you just like toy with that? Like, girl, just like. No, she's cool. She's a home girl. Toy. Yeah, but like like, hey, come kick it. Plays with her.

Like, I know your boyfriend's over there. Like, nah, just leave him. Come on me. And then you don't even do nothing? He allows it. Maybe he likes it. He watches. Does he have a chair?

Does he watch her? He doesn't stand in the corner with him. He doesn't stay. Well, should he probably take someone that's not that girl. But then I don't want to take somebody else. That girl to think that like. Well, then don't. Exactly right.

But then bringing a random girl to a family Christmas party is wild. I feel like the home girl is better because it's just a friend. Like she knows. You can't even be herself. You gotta be all cool. Yeah. And then she knows that she's a friend too, so it's like I don't have to be all like all over. No, pause.

Bring your homie. Because you were just saying you're bringing the girl because it's a homie. Yeah, my family already thinks. Oh, God. What? What? What? What makes a thing?

Yeah. Because my crop teas. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Mexican families. No kids. No kids.

No girlfriend. Yeah. Crop teas, flared pants. Girls for besties. Oh, yeah. You're not helpful. helping yourself. Take her. Take her. You're a freaking CIA.

Take her, bro. Take her. Oh, you guys mean gay? Oh, my man. What do you mean CIA? I thought he was like a special agent, like a spy or something, you know. Where did you get that from? He's a double agent. Yeah, he's a double agent because some spies and all that, they don't have kids.

They don't want to, you know, leave nothing behind. They want to attach themselves. Just say you're a spy. This is your cover, don't. From the other station, I will murder you right now. Umberto why do I have you in here? Um, I don't know yet. Oh, you don't know.

Why are you? He's already nervous. He's already red. Can you guess? Can you guess, dog? Um, what did you do? Nothing. I didn't do anything.

What did you post? Freakin' freaking blood rushing through his veins right now. Straight to his mask got on. Okay. If you, if you guys have heard what we've talked about with Umberto is he has a girl that's a friend that he wants her to know, like we're just friends, right? That he gave. He wants the friends of her. He did.

Oh, he did. You already friends. Friends on her. That's my home girl. Oh, okay. Just remember this. Remember this. That's friends on.

Yeah. They gave each other their body. Oh, yeah. That was off air, Angie. That was off air. But she gave him like a spooky basket. Yeah. All of that.

Right? And he told her like, I'm not looking for anything. I want to like, I want to focus on work. All of that. So then the other day we're talking about the Eagles. Because he went to the Eagles game that they lost, right? The Chargers. Yeah.

Oh, wow. The Eagles are the Chargers? The Chargers. And I was just literally. literally asking him like bro like who'd you go with and he went with the girl the girl bought the tickets and I told him don't be leading her on bro she has kids she has like teen children oh I'm like let her take them instead of spending money on you I think we both get each other though because we both have teen kids if she's gonna lead you let it be to the football games later games

whatever that's that's great yeah that's fine as friends he's not using her if he already told her we just want to be friends come us getting he told us he tells her that yeah I don't believe him he also texts her every morning

good morning gorgeous all that look you don't do that you don't do that here I don't know about that one umberto is getting tricked on and we should all be happy

for him this happens all the time no I agree do that but say that because I think he's telling us that she's just her friend and I think she thinks she's in a relationship with

he has a shooter mama does she know she's not She knows. She's trying to incentivize him. Call her right now. Are you having any intercourse with her? Yep.

Yes. You said yes before you stuck? Yeah. Yes. So you're a prostitute. Fine. Guy. You're a hooker.

Okay. Got it. Comberto's a hooker. Got a hook and peace. Go hook and peace. Pidocho. You're a pidocho. You're a gentleman of the night.

A gentleman of the night. I like that. No, you don't. And she's a sweet lady. No, she's a sweet lady. No, she's done. No. It's all love for her.

Like, I'm sorry. She's a good person. So what is it going to take to be her here? She's like she's doing the right thing. She's a good person. She's fit. She'll buy him football ticket. But you said sweet lady, like, seora?

Is she older than you? No, no, no, with the same age. Oh, okay, okay. So she's a sweet girl. Yeah, yeah. But she has all the things, right? So this is the same thing you would tell a girl. Like, bro, he has everything, but you won't make him your man.

So what are you, what are you? Wow. My boy's sweating already. Why would you make her your girl? Honestly, it's a me problem. I feel like I just been in twin relationships and I just feel like I'm trying to find Humby. You know what's crazy, Humby?

It makes sense. That what you're doing right now usually happens with the person you should be getting with. Yes. When you're trying to find yourself, it's in front of the person that deserves you. There's the person that deserves you.

And then you'll be like, okay, I'm ready. And then you'll go to the next person And they don't deserve you at all. And it's a disaster. And it's a disaster. And that's why I feel like I want to just take my time. Like I want to learn. Like I just.

But you're taking your time. And I'm sure she would understand. Yeah. But I feel like you're giving her mixed signals. Yeah, you are. For sure. For sure. 100%.

Because he's trying to keep it going. He wants to keep going to Eagles games, you guys. He has to keep us up. That was the first time. Lakers are still playing till what? April. He wants to keep, he wants to keep going. Court side.

You see? You see? No. Tell her you want to go to the World Series. Whoever players. Let me ask you this, Umberto. She stops spending money on you. What's happening?

She's still getting good morning text. No, we're cool. Yeah. I mean, I'll put it in, too. You say, not we're cool yet. I take her out to places too. Like where? You take her?

No, you're the whole relationship. I think I get a relationship. I thought you were getting tricked on, Mepto, I clapped for you. I believed in you. That is a relationship. That is a relationship. Is it? Why you pay for her?

I told him that too. I'm like, I think you're with her. You are. I've never heard of a hooker that pays for stuff. That's what I'm saying. We're over here. The hooker never was gas. The hooker never paid, dog.

Come on, man. Get up together. Has she asked you, what are we? Pretty hungry. Yeah, yeah. She's your richer gear. Umberto is sweaty. Yeah, he is.

He's full on sweaty. What do you say when she asked you, what are we? We're friends. She knows that. Like, I tell her that too. I swear, I promise. Like, that's all it is. with friends and we're cool.

Friends with benefits. She's a good. Okay, how about this? How about this? Do you ever open up to her? Yeah. That's a relationship, bro. All right, I have a question.

Okay. I have a question. Are you allowed to date other people? Yeah. You are? You are. You pause. Yes.

Tell her about it. Okay. Because obviously we're intimate. Yeah. So we don't want to be outside. You know, so we're... He's rock dog. That?

He's wrong dog. Is it? He's a... They're taking it easy. Exactly. That makes no sense. We don't want to be outside until we keep it inside. That's my best friend.

Keep hooking, buddy. Keep hooking. You're making us proud of it. I better not see you on Fig, phone. Remember the other day? One time on Power 106, you did your letter to your future. Oh, shit. Right?

They're all words I would like to say to you, right? Al-Ungu-Dia. Oh, yeah, I remember that. All right. Why don't you just give her a message, like, your amiga? Oh, my God. Tequiro amiga. I learned my lesson.

Okay, well, she's listening right now. I love her lesson. She's actually on the line. No, I'm going to. What? Do you say a happy holidays. Do the speech. Happy holidays.

From Muberto. What's the hobby? I don't... Yeah, no, go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Like, if you're on the phone. From the heart.

Take your time, phone. From the heart. Take your time. Love is hard to express. We won't look at you. Okay. Yeah. To a really good friendship,

we got a lot of things coming up, and we're going to kill this marathon next year, and saludos to Melly. Oh! You said her name. Nelly? Mimi. Mimi.

Oh, me. Mimia. All right, what do you give in his speech? What do you guys see? It's good. It's okay. I feel like you can show her you care a lot more. Like a nicer message.

We should. I hope your toes don't fall off after the merit. Oh, that's a thing. That's a thing. Thank you for the kind memories we've created together in such a short amount of time. Best one. Go. In Spanish.

Best one? Yeah, best memory. Best memory. Go. Probably the game. The game was one of the good ones. Also, finishing marathons.

That's a big one. Just congratulations. She's like, she's kind of like someone that you could do cool stuff with and like talk to. Exactly. You know she'll always be there for you. Relatable. Relatable.

And then like it's an added that you guys are attracted to each other. That's your f*** so. So, me, Umberto. What the f***? You're so, you're so wholesome. But you doesn't want to be with her. You don't like guys by any chance.

No. Definitely not. Alright, never one. Check this out. This is what we're doing. We're doing like a homie helpline rewind and update. Update, update, all right? Hitting you with the best homie helplines that happened this year and checking in on the homies that needed help.

Let's see if they ended out there. You're strong, okay? On the line we got Lalo with a palo. Lalo, what's up, Lalo? Hey, good morning. How's there, everybody? Yeah. We'll see if we're doing better than you or not.

But first, Vick, can you take us back in time to what Lalo needed it? advice on. Yes. So back on September 23rd, Lalo hit us up and said, OMG, I need your advice on this mess I made. I just started dating again after my high school sweetheart and I broke up after five years. But I got with this gorgeous girl and she's got me changing my life for the better. I'm going to church and getting on the right track. Then one night, I went fishing with my friends and got a little tern with some VMCs. I get a text for my ex and turns out she was at the beach too and I don't know what or how but I somehow made my way there after a famous shrimp tray from the San Pedro market and some drinks on the rocks

that'll do it now and now let's just say my neck looks like it was hit with rocks after I hit I felt guilty mainly because I you're laughing Lalo you be quite well we read this story Lalo go ahead all right he said after I hit it I felt guilty mainly because I instantly thought about the new girl. Brown bag. I messed up. I went completely ghost. I want to hit her up.

But should I be 100% honest or just count my losses? She still texts me. I hope you're having a good day. But Brownbag, I messed up big and I need help. He said, this situation happened Saturday and we were supposed to go to church then brunch on Sunday. And I never went. I ghosted her and I still got the vampire marks on my neck. That's a Lalo.

You ghosted her and God. Wow. Lalo. So when we talk to you, Lalo, you were telling us how you had posted a photo on Instagram and then she was like, ooh, don't drown. And then you were like, ooh, your ex, if I do, you save me. It was a girl that you proposed to. She said no.

You guys broke up. She was out the door. You guys had each other blocked. She unblocked you to block your blessings with the new girl that you were going to church with, everything. Then you had the vampire bites. What ended up happening after that? Did you tell the new girl? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I ended up telling her. I wasn't going to tell it because all the guys are saying, like, don't tell her. There's like nothing built, no relationships. I wasn't going to tell her. But then I saw one comment on it. Instagram that told me like I wasn't like a man or something like that. And I had a tell her. I had a tell her.

So it's just that one comment. That one comment. Be a man. Like no, it's like real men don't do this. And then he's like, okay, I want to be a real man too. What happens when you told her? Well, it kind of like ended it for the moment. We still, I still went to church.

I still went to the same church and she still goes there. And then every once in a while we'll see each other. I'll buy her like a Starbucks coffee before. And then next thing you know, she's like, let's go read the Bible. We'll read the Bible. We start having more dinner together. And we're going to be going on, I think, what is it, the Polar Express coming up soon? What?

Wow. Out there and like Corona? Was it a Corona? Where is it at? The Polar Expressing. Paris, in Paris. I've been wanting to go to that. In Paris, California?

Yes. Let's go. No, you're already going with the girlfriend's serious? Take me. No. Take me not. Take me. Big Don't.

So you guys are like pretty much back together. I don't want to save her together because I want to say it's my only just me trying to figure myself out now. Wait. You now? So what happened? What about the X? No. Like I want to figure out my faith.

I want to figure out God. You know, I'm going to school now. What do you think you are? I want to be a professional. What? Professional. What? I want a profession.

I want a profession. That's what I want. Oh, he wants a profession. Oh, you want a profession. These are my profession. Hey, where's your ex now? I have no idea she blocks me. I'm still blocked.

You're still blocked? I don't check. I don't check. That's the devil right there. Okay. That's the devil right there. Hey, but last time, I think I checked in with you last week in order to even get this call in and you told me that there's another dilemma you have.

Yeah. So when I'm working, there's some nurses there and stuff like that. Don't do it. Hey, the nurse is the nicest stay away from him. Keep like, what's the dilemma, bro? What's a dilemma? Well, let's just say, like, one of the nurses I'm talking to, I just so happened that she's kind of like a freak

and she's talking to everybody else. So are you? So you're not talking to her? That's not your girl. So you don't know whether it continue to pursue the girl that's... Oh, God. She's fine. Oh, so you're messing around with her.

Yeah, I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. You're messing around with a nurse. With a nurse. Is he a good-looking nurse? Yeah. beautiful

oh wow what's his name it's not a guy is it her name it's her name oh my bad dog all dip in home we help light

yeah Lalo Lalo Lalo Oh my god Lolo I'm here I'm here

Congre Cangry thinks you're sassy Lalo tell him something Wait what Wait, what? Stop. You know what?

That's some crazy shit. My last relationship, she was telling me the same stuff. Hey. What was you telling me? Lalo, Lalo. Lalo. The girl that you hooked up with? I grew up with sisters.

Lalo, there's something you need to. About yourself. Oh, okay. Yeah, you can't blame him. He grew up with his sisters, he said, and his mom. He's more in touch and his, like, so did. I got three sisters. I have got two sisters.

No, and I don't blame you, though, because, Because Prince was, I mean, clearly, right? And he had mad females, the finest in the world, dog. You know, so. But it's his laugh. So be you, dog. If you want to wear, you know, taconas to work, da-le. I got proof, punky.

I got proof. Proof of what? No, no, no, no, Lalo. You don't have to prove yourself. You don't have to prove yourself at all. I believe you, with all these girl problems you're having, I get it. And that's looky how maybe you can disarm them because it's like, oh, like, he's, he knows what I'm thinking. He's like,

you know what I'm saying? And then boom. They get the follow. They get the follow. And then boom. Just stop laughing like that, Lalo. She's going to keep making fun fun of the way you laugh, bro. God, stop. You have to laugh like,

oh, ho, ho, ho. Oh my God, what's that in your teeth? I'm sorry. It's my, you know, it's my palo. your fiero mouth I can't Thank you for checking in Lalo

We got to We got to We got to Lalo Bye I'm a good day Lalo All these tamales

Have me Full A-F I'm so full bro Don't y'all feel like it Yeah But I love

Don't like We just had Morning Tamales I can't even Oh you know what But I like it Like that's my breakfast I like it too when I can just take a nap after.

Do no, no lie? With crema. Yeah. Oh, you don't like sour cream though. Sour cream. I'm which you can't. That's weird. Y'all put sour cream on?

I get crema on certain things, but crema on tamales? Yes, that's out of control. You rub it all over. You're lying. You're lying. I said. I had some yesterday. With crema dog?

Yeah. I've seen it with crema or mayonnaise. I honestly probably won't eat it without crema. What? Hot take right there. What about you concrete? To me, it's just regular. No, that's like putting mayonnaise on a to stada of ceviche.

Yeah. What? I do that too. That's crazy. That's a flagrant foul, for me. The other Raider fans are agreeing. Is this a raider fan of me? I know.

I know that a lot of people do that, you know? It's bomb. I don't know. I would just never put definitely not sour cream on my tamar. No, I feel like if you have to add all that stuff, that that's not a good tamal. Like a tamal on its own is bon. It's a bar. Eat it raw.

A salsaita, yeah, yeah, like maybe like some salcita. I like it wet. Yeah, no, because sometimes when you order it like on. When you order it on the streets, they'll ask you look,

it's prepared for you. So good. In the carrito. My whole life. Yuck. I don't do it at home because I'm like extra steps. I'll just like.

What do you do that? Extra steps. It is. What do you do? God forbid I have to get the sour cream out of this. Seriously. And they have to wash the spoon.

It's a little. No, so normally what we do like in the morning, it's like we just roast them and they comeal. Okay, but what is it? That's it. No, because you agreed with the sour cream. So what do you do to it? Oh, literally just a sour cream, you spread it all over the tamal and then same thing with a bunch of salsa. Yes, exactly.

Yes. Yes. Ooh, now we're talking. I just don't think that's necessary. It's not, but it's just extra. It's not necessary. It's not necessary. You guys need to step your tamal game up.

How do you eat your tamales, Greg? raw dog it like that like you said it's the best way to eat it all meat in your mouth probably don't even use a fork you sound like this you don't need a fork you don't need a fork you can literally eat it like a burrito yeah yeah you eat it like a burrito oh I didn't know you never had things to do you eat it while you're going and doing stuff no no that's a sit down that's a sit down with that's a sit down with

fork yeah yeah I put it in a blender and drink it what I just gobble it down I snorted it. I just, I just took that tamalo into the head. Oh, the masa. And the tamalito right there. He's a brat.