Bulwark Takes - Kash Patel’s Eyebrow Has Gone Rogue | The Trio

Episode Date: September 17, 2026

Tim Miller, Sam Stein and Will Sommer take on a bizarre collection of stories from MAGA and the Republican Party, including Milo Yiannopoulos’ messy divorce, a GOP nominee’s ties to the Unite the Right rally, Victor Marx’s latest campaign controversies and a Republican candidate who fell for a fake Kai Trump account.Plus, the trio breaks down Kash Patel’s contentious hearing and his eyebrow-raising FBI spending, before meeting a Republican congressional candidate with a 20-song Trump rap album.Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to https://www.quince.com/BULWARKTAKES. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too.

Hi friends and fellow students. Americans living abroad can legally vote in the U.S. election. Register or get tailored support at votefromabroad.org. Look, state deadlines are super close, so don't waste another second. Go to vote fromabroad.org now and click request my ballot and ask to receive it by email. All you got to do is fill it out and send it back in. Don't miss this chance to shape the future. Don't delay. Vote fromabroad.org. All right, everybody, we're back. It's the trio. It's me, Tim, Will. And we got a whole host of absurd things to talk about today, some of which I really don't understand.

And I'm hopeful that Will can walk me through them. Some of them are very cringe. It's going to be a lot of fun. I'm hopeful that Will can explain it too, because I have to just be candid with everyone. I don't know what we're going to talk about. I spent most of the last 24 hours reading like weird Silicon Valley guys, like 4,000 word manifestos about whether we are or are not going to kill all of ourselves in the next time. three months. And so I've been kind of locked in on that and don't really know like what's happening with Milo. What's your, what's your conclusion? Are we all dying?

I think the risk's higher than I thought yesterday. I guess I'll tell you that. I guess I will tell you that much. Risk is a little higher than I thought it was yesterday. You know, I've, I've had some really candid and gruesome conversations about this stuff. Like is it, you know, if we're all going to go? Is that like, is it okay if we all go together? Would you rather that happen versus like 5% 10% survival you know like 5% survival you would I think so okay I'm I'm torn I feel like a man versus computers all go all go I'd like the species to survive you kind of are taking the Peter Thiel position and I'm in the Steve Bannon position you know I'm a humanist like Steve Bannon Steve Bannon Steve Bannon and Dernie are humanists Peter Thiel not really it's kind of like if the

computers win that's maybe okay for him it's not okay it should be clear it's not okay I don't want it. I'm just saying, I think, of all the horrible outcomes, maybe it's just like, boom, done, we're out. Well, we've got some news today that maybe we'll make people hope for the AI apocalypse. Great. You know, maybe they'll trend down on what percentage of humanity they want to survive. Wow, that's a really great transition. Well, thank you.

I guess we start with Milo from there. So Milo, last I saw, he was converting to Islam. Is the conversion complete well? You know, he hasn't explicitly said he's converting to Islam. He's obviously, he's gone to the mosque. You know, he famously got deported. He has a lawyer whose organization, I think, is called, like, Muslim legal. You know, he's doing, like, him, you know, videos of him, like, listening thoughtfully to Muslim music, stuff like that.

But, yeah, the latest is here that we have the Daily Mail reported on some details of Milo's ongoing divorce from a man. I want to hear about that because I do just want to say, the Muslim thing is, fake. Milo is fake. Milo's the one person it was good that we deported. And I bet the UK, which is they could deport him to Pakistan or somewhere if he wants to pretend to be a Muslim. So he's horrible. And I'm more interested less than his PR than in what's happening in the courtroom. Yeah. So the Daily Mail has had this long drawn out divorce that goes back at least a year from his husband. Needless to say, the part where Milo said he wasn't gay anymore did not play into their marital harmony. you know, that definitely played a role in divorce.

Sam, how would that go over in your home if you did the opposite? You said you were no longer heterosexual. I don't think it would go over particularly well. I think that would probably be the end. Although, I don't know. Maybe my wife would be forgiving about that. I'm not going to ask. Honey, I'm an infamous provocateur, and I'm gay now.

So when we describe Milo's domestic situation, we have to keep in mind, all of this is happening in a place called the Garbutt mansion, a history. historically protected mansion in L.A. that Milo lives in at times with American Apparel founder Dov Charnie, Milo's husband, sometimes Kanye West. Okay, so that's the scene. What a crew? Yeah, it's look. I mean, it's the boys, right? I mean, it sounds like fun, but what do they, what do they do like on an average Friday night there? I'm just sort of, what do you think? Well, I'll give you one example. You know, my-lo. Are you on reading MindComp?

Well, you know, Milo, he, you know, he had the publishers of this right-wing publishing house. Actually, he put out books not dissimilar from Mike Comp. And he kind of yelled at them about, you know, there was a secret recording produced. I mean, there's a lot of, there's a lot of, you know, mansion hijinks happening. But basically, there's been this drawn-out divorce because the husband is claiming Milo's clearing like several million dollars a year. I think it was like $500,000 a month.

And so as Kanye West manager or sort of advisor. And then so the husband is saying all these things like, I sold my Aston Martin to support you, Milo. And, you know, he's demanding this very high maintenance. Meanwhile, Milo, and I will say, I've been aware of this divorce for a while. I did not see some of the documents the Daily Mail produced. So basically, Milo in these text messages, allegedly he's using Edward against his husband, who's black. He's saying, I only wanted you for a green card. I wanted to marry you for a green card.

So it's a pretty ugly situation. Let me just read, Tim. I'm going to read Tim. I'm going to read to him from De LaMellie. You can react to this. The ex is John McKinley Campbell. Campbell alleges in court filings that Unopolis 41 was violent and racially abusive during their nine-year marriage, calling him a stupid, worthless N-word, and told him, I pay, you obey.

His court filings include a series of disturbing text messages allegedly sent to him by Unopolis, who allegedly threatened to kill him and admitted to use him. him to obtain a green card. Unopolis is vehemently denied the allegations. In one message, Unopolis appeared to offer Campbell $100,000 to complete his green card paperwork, including sitting through a joint interview with immigration officials during an argument over text dated to February 2025. Unopolis originally wrote, fuck you, stupid, worthless, N-word. I hope you rot in hell. That doesn't sound like a great marriage to me. Yeah, I kind of, you know, in moments like this, I turned to old William Shakespeare sometimes, and I think, this is kind of an apoxone

both your houses situation. I mean, Milo is horrible in every way, but it's not like he's sneaky horrible. You know, it's not like Milo is one of these characters where he's like super charming and you get, like one of these narcissists, you get sucked in by their charms. He's giving you gifts and he's a gentle soul and then all the sudden you're in the garbutt mansion and the next thing you know, he's calling you the N-word. It's like, Milo, it's probably calling you the N-word day one, basically. I mean, like, Milo is disgusting in a very public way. And I don't know.

I kind of see these divorce papers as good popcorn fodder for us, but for the two of them, good luck. Well, is he trying to get back into America? Very much so. Yeah, he's laying the groundwork to sue. He sent Laura Lumer a letter, his lawyer did, I think, sort of implying that, you know, she had somehow interfered in his immigration status, which. certainly true, right? I mean, she's claiming, you know, that she got him deported. In light of these emails where he's saying, I'll pay you $100,000 to falsify green card paperwork for me. I'm sure when

Laura saw that, she was like, oh, mama, you know, this is a big one. So, you know, that said, he is scheming to get back. I mean, in his interview on Pierce Morgan, you know, it is funny seeing these documents in light of that interview because he said, I've simply got to get back to my husband, you know, my dear, my dear family. families in Los Angeles. I got to tell you, Milo, I do have some bad news for you. If the Democrats get back in power in 2029, there's going to be a lot of ice agents and a lot of budget with not a lot to do because they're going to be redirected to other work.

And I think that, I don't know, I might recommend that J.B. Pritzker, President Pritzker, puts like an entire ice unit on the Milo Beach following every move, waiting for you at the airport if you ever try to come. It will be like not that kind of come. I love a flock cameras except for this. Yes. A flock only on Milo. Only Milo for the flock cameras.

I don't think he's going to make it back. I've seen very little appetite among the Maga Wright for his return. It seems like everyone seems quite comfortable with this deportation. Well, you know, a lot of them hated him. He was, if nothing else, he knew where all the bodies were buried. I mean, he was a guy who he kept him on their toes. And I think in some ways it would be better, I think, for the left for Milo to stay in the country. But, you know, the situation is what it is.

Yeah, but Will, there is this thing called the Internet, and he can post. And he's not like going down swinging particularly when I'm peers and talked about how he cried uncontrollably about being detained and thrown to the ground. But like, he hasn't really, if he does have a lot of arrows to launch, he hasn't really launched him. I think you're right. And, you know, there was that discussion after his deportation. People were saying, oh, you know, he had his famous hard drive. the vault that he had five gigabytes on Laura Lumer or whatever. And obviously none of that has come to light.

So I think that that might have been a little bluff. I don't want to see anything on Milo's hard drive. I'm not interested. Don't. Come on. You're selling yourself short, buddy. There's some stuff you probably are interested in that. Maybe a few Elijah Shafer Paxie.

Speak for yourself. I'm not speaking for you. And you're just upset because you know I'm right. Okay, that's the facts. All right. Anything else on my, I feel like we've devoted more than enough time to the guy. Okay. Moving on.

We got a story about another. This keeps happening. This just keeps happening. Oh, a mega pedophile. Let me guess. A MAGA candidate who was at the United the Right rally. This time nominee for Republican House of Representatives, he marched in the rally in 2017. In Charlottesville, we all know it very well.

This one is from Talking Points memo, guy named Marshall Rosson. who won an upset victory in Florida's District 10, Republican primed last month. He attended the Charlottesville rally. He handily won. His victory came only eight days after a newspaper in Florida politics, published an article detailing parts of his past involvement, which he has acknowledged with the League of the South. I assume we all know what kind of institution that is.

So this does keep happening. We have other examples, not of candidates, but staffers. For instance, this John Hussel, staffer who was a Nazi and he used the photo of SS soldiers in his Facebook profile. Had you heard of this? They did the Nazi reenactments. I had not heard of that. Like that's not something that I had heard of.

Like Confederates in the attic. Celebrating the Rhodesia. Like this is like a little different level. It's like I've heard of Civil War. The Rhodesia thing is big. Right. Will? I mean,

both French. Yeah. The railroad commissioner that did the racist post with the Indian kids at the Texas game. He is also posted about how much he loves Rhodesia. What's up with that? Well, yeah. So, I mean, you know, folks, for those who don't remember Rhodesia, this was like, you know,

they sort of white supremacist post-colonial state run by white people, later became Zimbabwe. But, yeah, these guys love the posting sort of aesthetic videos of white guys fighting in the Rhodesian bush against, you know, black freedom fighters. And, you know, you can imagine what it's about. I mean, they see themselves as a besieged white minority. But yeah, no, I mean, it's very real. Don't Google Rhodesian Bush if you're out there. It's probably also on Miles Hard Drive.

Don't know what you're going to get. Yeah, the, I don't know, the Nazi ring and action guy really caught my eye. I mean, they unite the right thing. It's not, you know, I mean, right? I'm surprised there's not more unite the right marchers running. Republicans this time. How did this guy get caught, Sam? Was it a flock camera? How did he get? Not a flock camera. Just some good old fashion, you know, bootstrap reporting, apparently. But this is like, I mean, we've talked about this a bunch, but I think at this juncture, if you're

hiring staffers on the Republican side, you're more or less, you know, got a good chance you're going to hire a neo-Nazi. Can I say about the United Right rally? There, there is, I feel like as time goes by, like people, like, forget, like, just how explicitly white nationalist it was. Like, like, it kind of gets lumped in with, like, the anti-statue counter-protests. They were tearing down the Confederate statues under the counter-protest. But, like, in this period where this was happening in Charlottesville, we had a, we had a good article in the Bullwark called the, the, uh... Hey, friends. Americans living abroad can legally vote in the U.S. election. Register or get tailored support

at vote from abroad.org. Look, state deadlines are super close, so don't waste another second. Go to vote fromabroad.org now and click request my ballot. Ask to receive it by email. All you got to do is fill it out and send it back in. Don't miss this chance to shape the future. Don't delay. Vote from abroad.org. that Charlottesville hoax hoax talking about this where it's like there there was actually a we should keep the the statues up rally for just your normal i like confederate statues virginians out there that's not for me but whatever like there this there was like a particular additional rally that was like no we are gathering all of the various factions from these kind of white nationalists online groups and were using this as a place to gather. And like that was where the, you know,

the woman died, et cetera, et cetera. That's right. Will, my memory is right on that. Yeah, that's right. And, you know, I'm glad you bring this up because this is a distinction to make here. I mean, because as you said, people like Dilbert creator, Scott Adams, people really led the charge to be like, hey, you know, Trump's saying very fine people. Well, actually, there were some very fine people on the racist side. And, you know, to be clear, this guy was not like, like some, you know, civil war buff who was just like shining up the statue or something. I mean, this is like a Tiki torch guy essentially. I mean, League of the South, that's like one of the main white supremacist groups that was

there that day and like in the action, biting people, stuff like that. So, I mean, this guy is like a hardcore Charlottesville guy. I do. Yeah, I do. I do. Now that you bring it up, it is sort of lost in history just how shocking that moment was that you kind of look up and suddenly there's dudes in tiki torches, chanting Jews. will not replace us.

And you're like, it was pretty early on, too, in the Trump era. And it was a real kind of, I don't want to say inflection point because that's a cliche, but it was one of those moments where like, oh, shit, like he's totally fine with this. And not only that, he's defending it. And it was a wake-up call, right? Like at that point, there was still some questions about whether it was all kind of an act from Trump and he was just playing footsie with these people. But he's a metropolitan New Yorker, of course, he doesn't really like this.

And that was illuminating. And now all these people are, you know, forgiven and welcome back to the cause. And in fact, running for office and going to win. Can I ask you guys? I just put it into the trio Slack a link to a tweet that was sent this week by the Unite the Right organizer, Richard Spencer, a famous Nazi, took a turn. And he did a AI spoof tweet of the picture of the students at the Texas game, celebrating up to the victory.

It's all of the UT Indian kids, the ones. that the right wingers were very mad about. And do you notice who they put there in the middle? Yeah, put that in the middle? Good old JD. You don't ever have to hand it to Richard Spencer. I did, before I saw who sent the tweet, I did chuckle. I did get a little chuckle out of it.

Is that wrong? Do I'm in trouble if I got a little chuckle out of that? No, it's a little wrong, I guess. You know, Richard Spencer, we were just talking about him in the office. He's been on this kind of weird arc. You know, he had a kid recently. He married this gal named Radfem Hitler. Also goes by the name Hollow Earth Turf.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Her name is Radfem Hitler? It's like radical feminist Hitler. Yeah. The actual legal name of the kid is Radfam Hitler. That's the wife. That's the white.

That's the white. Radfam Hitler. And then her second handle is what? It's hollow earth turf, right? Like a trans exclusive radical feminist. But you know, the Nazis, they believe there's like a secret. society inside the earth, a hollow earth. And so they got married and they're doing this kind of...

Hold on. I did not know that about the Nazis. They believe there's a hollow earth. Some of them do. Some of them do. That's agartha. You know, when people post these memes of like Trump meeting with these like giant guys, like that looked like aliens, you know, at the White House, that's a gartha.

Yeah. So, so anywho, I just thought, sorry, this just started because... Hollow Earth, turf, T-E-R-F. Exactly. Exactly. And so basically, she, like, hates all these rights. right wing men because she's like these right wing men are losers you know they're nothing like richard spencer i guess who by the way has really been packing on the pounds and he acknowledges it

it's a whole that's his arc right now but basically his arc is more horizontal there's kind of this interesting thing and since tim brought it up i i just wanted to highlight that like richard spencer now is kind of on like a richard hanania thing where it's kind of like yeah i'm still racist but i'm like too classy for these other racists and so i hate them he's got a ukraine flag in his in this Twitter profiles. I believe he endorsed Kamala. I don't think that Kamala accepted the endorsement. I don't know.

I don't think that they did the campaign event together. Richard, thanks. I do believe he endorsed Kamala. Let's not publicize this one. Okay. But since we were talking about Charlottesville, I thought you guys might enjoy Richard Spencer update. I want to talk about the tall guys because I do see pictures every now and then

where Trump's like with these tall guys and him was like, oh, look, Trump captured aliens. Is that? Those picks aren't real, Sam. Oh. But what? So these are supposed to be like creatures who live in the middle of the planet? Yeah, this is a big TikTok meme. It's called Agartha.

And it's this idea of this like kind of almost like Tibetan, but also like white supremacist utopia inside the earth. And the idea is that Trump is meeting with the agarathans. Jesus Christ, people are fucked. This pops up in my feet every now and then everyone confuses them with aliens. Yeah, I think Gen Alpha is really into this stuff. Did not know. The Nazi Gen Alphas? In general.

All. Not just, I mean, not all of them, but, you know. Yeah. All right. Well, speaking of weird shit, I want to get back to one of our favorite candidates, not a congressional candidate, a gubernatorial one, Victor Marks. He's back. He has got to be, you know, we do occasional things on this guy.

And it still kind of befuddles me that there's not more attention paid to this man. Like he's running to run a very significant state. And he's bat-shit. And this isn't like a state that, you know, this is a state like 20 years ago was pretty heavily Republican. Yeah. Wayne Allard in one state right there. Corey Gardner. It wasn't like completely lost to Democrats.

No. If a Democrat of this kind of species ran in a Republican state and was this much of a whack job, like people would be. appalled and obsessing over this. But Victor gets the pass, I feel like. Let's play the latest Victor Mark's clip that has surfaced. That's why we all cringe with politicians. So my background, my father was a drug devil and a pill. I'm mine too. I'm not too. I do. I don't know. I thought people will reverse coconut. Right on me and son. I don't know. I don't know. I'm very comfortable around people of killing. That's because brown people are drug dealers and pimps.

Is that the gag there? That's how he relates to them. Yes. That's it. You got it. I mean, famously a lot of white drug dealers. You know,

decent amount of white drug dealers out there. I don't think that that's a profession that's really uniquely. No? You disagree with that, Sam? You think that's a profession that's uniquely for some of around people. I bought drugs from white people. I mean, have you ever been to a Grateful Dead show?

You know, a lot or a panic, fish, anything, a lot of whites out there slang in their wares. Yeah. I don't know, man. This guy is insane. That's not even like top 10. His speeches must be so crazy because now keep it mind. So his dad was a drug dealer and a pimp. His stepfather made young Victor when he was seven murder a guy, were to believe.

You know, this is a colorful story here. Why isn't much more written about this man? I feel like he's just like coasting. I think if I could offer a theory, and this is something I run into a lot in my career, my beat, sometimes things are so crazy that it's like so big that the media like can't see it. You know, like it's just like, yeah, talk talk more about that guy. I actually, I do have another Victor Marks update. Once again, Colorado TV reporter Kyle Clark is on this.

Folks may remember Victor was doing this thing where you could pay money to meet him, but it didn't like go to his campaign. It just went to like a company he owned. And so he was asked about this. Kyle Clark got new audio of Victor Marks explaining this where he was like, look, it's all above board. Essentially he says, I was just covering up illegal campaign contributions. He was like, it was some kind of like elaborate scheme.

I didn't quite understand. But he was like, I was just doing it to get around donations. limits. Well, that makes sense. You know, it's worked for Trump with Elon. But I guess my, what I like to think about when I think about Victor Marx and this brings me some joy, you know, because I have a lot of the Wall Street Journal Republicans in my life, in particular in Colorado. So think about like my high school friends, parents, you know, who are Republicans. And I kind of to imagine like one of them hosting victor marks for like a fundraiser in their home in cherry creek you know and thinking that they're going to get somebody that like you know wants to cut

taxes and maybe maybe put a 20 week abortion ban on in state or something and other than that kind of let things roll on as usual and instead victor marks in you know he's like i killed a man let me show you some cajian karate that brings me a little joy yeah They're like, hey, Victor, the state property tax, I don't want to talk about that. I abducted a child when I was 10, held him as a concubine. Yeah, no, Victor Marx is a character. I feel like I'll miss him a little bit when he's gone. Assuming he doesn't win.

Yeah, he's going to win. I wouldn't worry too much. Matt, can we get the latest polling out of Colorado? I just kind of want to see if there's anything. Like, even if it's like 40% of the state is going to vote for this guy, that's shocking. I'm sorry. I'm shocked by that. No one should be voting for this man.

It's insane. Speaking of... This message is sponsored by Quince. You know those clothes in your closet that you find yourself wearing over and over again, like this pink shirt that I wear all the time? A sweater that goes with everything, a perfect pair of pants, or the tea that always comes right to the top of the drawer. Those are the things that make getting dressed easy.

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this might be the more, one of the more insane congressional candidate stories. This guy, Thomas Smith, who didn't, like, try. to run for office, but somehow won the Republican nominee in Michigan. You remember this one? I mean, he won because his opponent who had a Muslim name, basically.

It was Amir Hassan, yeah, even though he was endorsed by Trump. Yeah. And a bunch of Magas showed up to the polls that day and looked down, they're like, Amir Hassan. Tom Smith. There we go. That's a guy. That's the salt of the earth American right there.

That must be a lunch pale man. Smith. Yeah, and I feel like Amir Asan was a little bit undone by the fact that they had just been demagoguing against Abdul al-Sayed in Michigan for like weeks. And so they were like, can't vote for that name. Anyways, KFal has this. He looked

and apparently Thomas Smith had a copious amount of posts on Twitter. I'm shocked that he could confirm the account because that's such a generic name. But anyways, KFal reviewed some 13,000 archive posts from Smith's now deleted accounts, uncovered

a substantially broader pattern of far-right rhetoric than previously reported, including repeated accusations of treason, attacks on Muslim-Americans and Islam, birth-of-style conspiracy theories about Barack Obama, and posts in which Smith said he had been awakened before dawn with a message from God for conservative radio host Dan Bongino. I'm sorry, you started laughing. He was awakened by a message from God carried by Dan Bongino. No, for Dan Bongino.

So this is the post. I was awakened at 4.30 a.m. with a message from God for Dan Bongino. The majority of blacks are Christians. The majority of Hispanics are Christians. The majority of whites are Christians. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ. The body of Christ is not divided. God, period.

Share. I don't know why God needed that to be conveyed to Dan Bongino. It makes it sound like Dan Bongino is just like this incredibly, like, religiously or racially divisive figure. It's like, we need you to chill, Dan. I mean, it is crazy just bursting awake, bursting awakening like, Bungino. You know, I want to kind of speak to something unsaid there, the text, kind of some subtext. It's kind of like Mr. Bungino, deputy director of the FBI.

Like I said, the time, he was just a talk radio host, but it's like, blacks don't need to be named to them. They're mostly Christian. Hispanics don't need to be mean to them. They're mostly Christian. What was the other group you mentioned? Whites. Whites. They're mostly Christian.

There's a group that's missing there. There is a group. I was thinking about your neighbors, actually, not your peeps in particular, but both you and your neighbors missing. And I don't know that Mr. Smith thinks that, you know, someone coming from our neck of the woods, the Lebanese Israel border. I'm not sure if he thinks that God's protection should fall on them. Probably not. Again, though, to be awake at 4.30m. And a panic dream that God's come down to.

It's not to pass this on to Dan Bonino. Not even like the biggest broadcaster, the president, the Pope, something like that. It's like, I got to tell this kind of beatier guy. And he doesn't even tag Bonino in the tweet. Come on. I got to tell you, horrible decision by Dan Bongino. And great for me for him to take that job as Deputy FBI Director. It caused him a lot of stress that looked like, a lot of personal issues.

didn't do any of the things that he promised that he was going to do as far as going after Donald Trump's foes. That created a lot of hard feelings and crashed in the podcast rankings. I mean, if you're on the Apple podcast rankings, me and Dan were neck and neck for a while and now he's dropped, he's dropped like 20 slots.

You know, he's right here. He's right next to us. He's down next to like the Matt Walsh show now. Glenn Beck. It's tough. God sent him a profit and Dan ignored him. Yeah, he should have listened to Thomas Smith. Thomas Smith, again, this man is slated to be in Congress.

He also apparently kept corresponding with a Kai Trump account, which happened to be a fake guy Trump account. He just assumed it was the real one. He kept tagging it being like, hey, can you get this info to your grandpa? Barack Gold Corporation of Kana wants to move to the U. What the fuck? Please have him contact Mark Bristow at CEO. What is this man doing?

This is true wacko stuff. I have to say, like this guy, you know, the stuff about executing Americans and stuff, that wasn't good. But really at the point where you're tweeting at Kai Trump about like your gold schemes and dreaming about Dan Bonchino. Like I think that is like this man is like unfit to serve. I mean, just in general, a, and we can put his picture on the screen if we haven't yet, you know, a gray-haired gentleman should not be tweeting at a teen girl he doesn't know under any circumstances. I mean, like, it has to be a truly exceptional circumstance. Like, not even, like, it's even a little weird to be like, hey, guy, great job in the golf tournament. Saw you finished in third.

Like, that's weird. Even just a generic, nice note, any tweet of a teen girl, like, there has to be a really high bar for you to pass, for you to cross, where that becomes appropriate. The idea, though, that, like, the putting that side, which is a very valid point. But I just want to unpack this a little bit more because it's so deranged. He fell for this fake account. Again, stupid. Does he think he's going to see his tweet and be like, yes, I'm going to call my grandfather, the president, and have him contact Mark Bristow, the CEO of Corporation. Tom, what do you think?

How does this work in your head? Kai Trump's going to be like, yeah, that's a valid tweet. Jarhead salsa is his Twitter handle. I'm going to respond to Jarhead salsa. By the way, I want to flag. The reason his handle is Jarhead Salza is because he produces a marine theme salsa. You love a Michigan-based salsa, you know. That's really where I'm turning to.

I want an old white man from Michigan to make me a salsa. We need to get our hands on some of that salsa. I'll eat it. I love salsa. I want to shout out Kristen McDonald-Ribb. it. I don't know what she did in her life to be blessed with this type, with like these types of foes. But that's a swing seat. She wins that swing seat, moderate Democrat, good, good Congresswoman. I don't know. With a name like that, with a name like that, how does he lose?

Krista McDonald's. What do you got against her name? It's the McDonald's. It's not Tom Smith. Tom Smith is pretty good name. McDonald's is all-American. KMR. I think she's in good shape. All right, fine, fine, fine. Okay, we got to get to our girl, Alexis Wilkins, country music sensation. Well, so Cash had the hearing. I haven't talked to you guys about this. I talked to George about this. I thought the hearing was hilarious because of the whole exchange around beastiality.

And I just, I couldn't, like, fathom, like, that within 10 minutes was just, you know, are you defending the animals that are getting sex? abuse like what is going on it he's like I cannot give an inch on this okay if somebody got human trafficked and then the human traffickers like put peanut butter on their genitals and then they got raped by a goat we still have to include them the possible candidate for the FBI and to me it's kind of like this is one of these outlier situations where like I don't think you need to read the code right it's kind of I think you can keep the bestiality code and then if someone comes to you and is like, hey, I qualify for everything except this technically because I was human trafficked and then the human traffickers forced a pig onto me.

I just, I think you could got to run that up the flagpole and that people will be like, that's a weird one. But okay, I mean, I think it's fine as long as they check all the other boxes. Like, I don't, I don't know that you need to codify. Yeah, I'm with you entirely. How many, how many instances was the FBI presented of this? Like, why do they need to change policy? Maybe make an exception here or there. It's like an extreme circumstance.

But to be like, you know what? The drag nets too thick on this one. We're catching too many people who've been raped by goats. We're really short of agents. Like, we have to change policy. And he was like dying on the hill. He just wouldn't bend. He was just like, no, you don't understand.

Like the victims here are good people. It's like, how many people? we talking about? Can I tell you the worst tweet I ever sent, I think? Can we just do that? My most embarrassing tweet I ever sent. Okay. It was, I'm Jeff Bush's spokesperson at this time.

So had there been a trio back then, you guys could have had a segment about me. We're the third character. And the Revenant had just come out. Yeah. Where Leo gets raped by a bear. Yeah. And I don't know what made me think to do this, but just like out of the blue, this was before we had clawed, you know, so I didn't have.

you know, a supercomputer is going to do an apocalypse on us to ask a question like this. And so I just tweeted out like, is that possible? Like, has a bear ever raped a human before? And the feedback wasn't positive on that tweet. Like, why is Jeb spokeswoman tweeting about bear right? That's when you knew the campaign really wasn't going well.

Yeah. I was punchy. Okay. Polls weren't good. Did you ask for people to clap at the tweet? Let's actually, we do have Claude now. Should we? Do I dare put this in?

Hold on. Has a bear ever raped a human? This makes my tweet seem less bad. Okay, so AI overview. There's no documented evidence of scientific records that show a bear ever raping a human. Bear attacks almost exclusively defensive, predatory, or protective. There are claims or rumors on the unit of bear sexual assault on humans. They have occasional service online, most famously is false.

internet rumors surrounding a mauling scene in the Revenant. I guess you're the one who fucking put it in. Jet Blush is spokesperson. Yeah. It does feel like it would be tough, particularly, you know, the butt. But anyway. I'm trying to find the, oh, here it is. I found it.

I found the tweet. That was very easy. And you were right. December 1st, 2015, 1150 a.m. The middle of the day. The middle of the day. And you write, are there any recording? examples of a bear raping a human in real life question mark.

And then people are like, what's the context for this? Someone responds, bruh. Someone else responds, you lose Twitter. And then someone else says, you do realize Twitter is in Google. Okay, okay. All right. Fair enough. All right, back to Alexis Wilkins.

So let's play the segment where, Cash has asked about all the sort of expenses and stuff, including this FBI SWAT detail that he had to protect his country music sensation girlfriend. He doesn't take it particularly well. Let's play the clip. End quote. But in March of this year, after Elizabeth Williamson of the New York Times reported that you used a full-time FBI SWAT detail to protect and drive your girlfriend. your agents interview your girlfriend about Mrs. Williamson's reporting. Is that true? Why are you talking about my loved ones who have been threatened based on the lives? I did not ask you. It's a yes or no question. It's a yes or no question and I'm going to answer it. I'm going to take your failure to answer as affirmation. Your agents ran Elizabeth Williamson's name through federal databases to gather information about her, yes or no.

You can say whatever lies you want. We're not going to participate. Lies. Is it a lie? Are you saying that that is not a fact. Stop. Stop falsely attacking me and my loved ones. I am not. We have seen multiple people threaten our lives. I'm asking yes or no question. I'm not making a attack.

Well, Tusty. Loved ones is an interesting word. He keeps using. Yes, that sort of seems like I guess a girlfriend didn't seem serious enough, but obviously, you know, partner perhaps. Hate that, you know, I hate that. I hate when the straight-jews partner. Yeah.

You know, it's- This is an interesting one. Wait, wait, wait. We don't want you to just move on from that. He just threw some little shade that you will. Does Will's your partner? He stole his valor. Oh, no, I was just suggesting for cash other, you know, this issue of cash not marrying Alexis comes up in right-wing discourse. Because people say, hey, cash, if you're spending all this money, you know, obviously

Cash has a lot of critics on the right. And they're saying, if you're spending all this money, maybe you could marry her. Maybe you guys could live in the same area, you know. It seems like you're having sex out of wedlock probably. You know, it doesn't feel very Christian. There's a lot to dive into. And so, you know, I think, you know, this issue of like what exactly are they has come up before. Do you see Cash's Fox hit last night?

No. He, I don't know what was happening. Yeah. What is happening there with his eyebrow? Oh, God. What happened? I have no idea. I mean, it looks like, it's kind of like.

It's kind of like, is that Photoshop? If they were both long eyebrows, if you extended them both out, they could kind of fully connect. Because on the left, there's no top. And on, well, I guess on his right, our left, there's no top. But then on the right, there's a huge top. Kind of like a wave. It's a very strange. It looks like it's drawn, like when Trump used a marker to draw the hurricane on the map, it kind of looks like that.

But for eyebrows. Can we get the picture from his, just still shot from his hearing? to compare and see? Because that is an intense pencil job on the eyebrow, if in fact that is what it is. You think that that could be his natural hair line? I don't think so. The hair looks interesting, too.

Benny Johnson-like. You know what? It really does look like a Benny Johnson. Look, the style's catching on. I guess so. All right. Well, if we can get an old still shot from the hearing. There it is.

It looks normal there. It's pretty normal there, right? Hey, friends. Americans living abroad can legally vote in the U.S. election. Register or get tailored support at vote from abroad.org. Look, state deadlines are super close, so don't waste another second. Go to vote fromabroad.org now and click request my ballot. Ask to receive it by email. All you got to do is fill it out and send it back in. Don't miss this chance to shape the future. Don't delay. Vote from abroad.org. You know, I mean, I'm trying to, like,

figure this out so it would be on this side. How would you get your eyebrow that high is the car? I can't do it. I can't. I don't know. Maybe it's like a Pinocchio situation, you know, where he's kind of lost control. Like if you lift your eyebrows, it's the sides that go up, not the part in the middle. So that's, I don't know how he got his eyeball like that. It's unusual. If they weren't so anti, like, it's kind of a drag eyebrow, you know, in a way.

That's saying the drag queens like to do a dramatic brow like that. And they usually have a little more symmetry. I'm trying to do it in my face. And I just can't get my face in that direction. Seems impossible. What a show. Yeah. All right.

Last thing we have. Yeah, just last thing. I don't think you've, you obviously haven't seen this one. Brendan stumbled upon this. He was extremely excited. He thought he had a great find. Turns out the Daily Show beat us to it. Whatever.

Still, it's okay. It's fine. This guy, Anthony Constantino. Anthony Constitino, he's running for the U.S. House to represent New York's 21st District. You might know that number. That's Elise Stefanix, old district. he is probably going to win.

He's the CEO of... Oh, wait, no, no, no, no, hold on, hold on, hold on. He might win, but that, what did you say? That was New York 21? Yeah, New York, he's running against Blake, I believe it's Gendibet or Gendibon. Okay. Who is good, he's a good candidate.

There's a punchball takeout on him today. It's like a farmer, kind of moderate guy, and the punchbowl story, I'm going from memory, but I believe said that the Republican, in this guy that we're about to see. I don't know you're about to show me about him, but his internal polls have Trump favorability, 49-49 in this district.

Okay. Which, you know, that's a puncher's chance, I think, and they got a strong Democratic candidate. I like that guy. Well, look, if Trump's not doing well in the district, this guy could not be more tied to Donald Trump. Okay. He literally put a vote for Trump sign on top of his tallest factory bill,

and he runs a company called, sticker mule. He also is a, I don't know what you want to call it, aspiring rapper who has released a few tracks that I just want to play for you, Tim, as probably the biggest music connoisseur on the site. And just give us your unvarnished take on whether this is, you know, up your alley. That's for goshio.

I know his work. I think so. Okay, he's standing next to him. Okay, let's do the other one. So let's just fight, fight, fight, right? Let's do this one. Yeah. We're using some auto tune there.

This is real footage of Trump, by the way. Okay. Kind of a really basic beat here. They flew to Italy. Some slav. Oh, the camel had Trump on a his tongue. Why would we want that?

Okay. So you might be wondering, does the song get going a bit more from that? No, I skipped ahead. I was like, okay, are we going to get some more verses or is it just, are we naming countries? I noticed so we didn't skip to see the rapper. Usually people feature themselves in music videos. Can I, can I, do we have, can I get to look at this guy, Anthony?

Yeah, there's a He rhymed New York with New York That's a rough rhyme, man It's not a bar Okay I gotta say that's That's not great I'm like trying to think of a comp

Like at the beginning I was thinking It's like really like a homeless man's version of like Will Smith But that's too mean to Will I think Like that's bad It's DJ Jazzy Jeff But I don't I think that's even pretty really to them.

I'm trying, that's not my kind of rap, I guess I would say. Not, you know, I kind of like some alternative rap, some bars, some, you know,

creative rhymes, imagery, you know, maybe a little. You don't think, you don't think rhyming New York with New York is creative. I want the whole world to enjoy New York.

New York. New York. If we could get the still of him in the, in the song that literally is just Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, where he talks about Italy, going to Italy.

Because there's, the AI, I didn't really work too well in that one. I think it's a picture of New York and he has a pizza. That's just a Trump on it. It's the lowest budget bullshit ever. I love this guy. I got to tell you, my arrow's pointing up on Blake Democrat.

I think he's a pulled this up here. I think he, what kind of farm? I think he's a dairy farmer. Just think like that's what the, I just think that's what people in upstate New York are looking for. Salt to the. dairy farmer, not going to get us into stupid wars, not going to do horrifically embarrassing raps where you rhyme New York with New York. I mean, Zoran's old raps weren't great either.

But like, you can tell you had a little flow, you know, you can tell you had a little flow and he needed to work on his craft a little bit. And then he decided, hey, you know, probably politics might be a better route for me. And you respect that. You know, you want somebody that's going to try different things. Anthony, Anthony, that's negative. That's a zero. I don't think this is like old stuff.

He looks old. The Zoran wrapping video, like he looks like a college kid. Like, he'd be one thing. It's like, yeah, you're in college. No, legitimately, on Spotify, I'm looking at it right now, his album called Thank You President Trump was released in 2026. He's doing this right now. 2026.

It's like, you know, after the Iran war started, after they didn't release the Epstein files. Like, Anthony was like, you know, I'm going to do. I'm going to do a Trump rap in middle age. I mean, how old is this man? I mean, he looks terrible. A lot of these Republicans are like look way worse than their actual age.

Yeah. Whoa. What is that? What does that fit, bro? Kind of a scary image to see on the streets of D.C. You can't be a rapper at that. He took up professional boxing at age 40. I'm learning about him right now.

This man is in his 40s and he's starting Trump raps. I'm on his album right now. It's 20 songs for a total of 28 minutes and 18 seconds. There's songs, there's, among the songs are thank you number one, thank you number two, thank you number three, thank you number four, thank you number five, thank you you number six, thank you number seven, thank you number eight, thank you number nine, and then thank you featuring Roger Stone.

Would it surprise you guys to learn that this guy is involved in like tons of MAGA internet drama? I will say I've never quite dived into it, but I'm just constantly seeing, like, for several years now, like fights over, like the CEO of Sticker Mule. So this guy's, like, really mixing it up online. Okay, can we assign you this? I want more. I'd like to know a lot more about this guy.

My interest is peaked. When you guys sent it to you, I heard that we were going to look into a maga can that is a rapper, and I thought it'd be funny. But I assumed it was, you know, one of these guys, he's running in an R plus 60 or a D plus 60 district. But this is, we have a swing. state a swing district ish Republican who's doing like January 6 raps with Roger Stone.

Like what? I feel like we should get more on this. I totally agree. Sometimes you just look up, you're like, what is going on? Who are these people? We got some guy tweeting at fake Trump accounts. A guy who's talking about like killing kids. Both in swing districts.

The Michigan guys in a legit swing district. The Republicans held that seat like a little bit ago in KMR. it now. So yeah. Wow. This is just a this is just a popery of insanity right now for the Republicans, but it's good for Will. So that's helpful. Okay, we'll look into it, right? Well, Oh, I'll look into it. Yeah. You know, if I could just say one thing as we wrap up here. Sure. Apparently at one of Sarah's book events, someone wore a bootleg trio shirt. So, you know, shout out to you. Shout out to the trio community. We're adding new merch. We are adding new merch. I think we're in the market kind of for some

trio inspiration. So if you're out there and you have some thoughts and design info on the trio, don't email me. Email Sam. Big picture. He's the managing editor. And we have some cool, you know, we have woke bill crystal now. You know, we have the green hat.

Everybody's liking. I'm getting that in more colors. More colors are coming for that. So check out the merch store. And shout out to the trio bootleg guy. Everyone. Thank you so much. Subscribe to the feed.

Please do. Hit that button. Tim's right. We got to bury Bongino. We just got to keep moving up the rankings. hit the button. Okay, peace.