Camp Gagnon - CANNIBAL TRIBES: True Stories of Uncontacted Warriors

Episode Date: October 1, 2024

From remote jungles to isolated islands, uncontacted tribes like the Sentinelese and the Aghori have chosen to remain untouched by civilization. Today, we discuss what secret traditions these mysterious tribes are hiding and what they do to unwelcome visitors who dare to intrude on their land. Join me and my good friend, comedian Eagle Witt, as we take a deep dive into the WILD way of life of these uncontacted tribes and the fateful consequences for outsiders who tried to visit them. Spo...

Deep within the dense jungles and remote corners of earth, there are tribes who have never made contact with the outside world. No internet, no cities, just ancient traditions, untamed nature, and fierce determination to remain isolated. These are known as uncontacted tribes, and their stories are as mysterious as they are unbelievable. And today, we're breaking them all down. That's right, I am going through every fascinating story and my favorites of indigenous tribes from around the world. world from intense tribal warfare to bizarre rituals and even the morbid and chilling encounters with the outsiders who dared to enter their forbidden worlds. Many with fatal consequences and even some theories that some of these people have left a life

of affluence to leave that world behind and live as a part of the tribe. If you're fascinated by the unknown and crave a look into the lives of those who live on the edge of civilization, you're in the right place. So, grab a chair, get close to the fire, and welcome to camp. What's up, everybody, and welcome back to camp. Yes, we are in the tent. This is the tent talk series. This is the show where I explain the most fascinating and interesting stories from around the world to my dumbest friends.

I'm one of his dumbest friends. What's up, Eagle? Chilling, bro. How you doing? I'm great, dude. I'm great. I'll be honest, Eagle is actually not one of my dumbest friends. I'll be honest, you're probably in the...

I would say probably 80th percentile. You're probably up there. Oh, wow. Yeah, wow. I think on specific topics. Okay. You know what I mean? All right. I feel like sports.

You know what I mean? Yeah, okay. Except for when you get mistaken by... Troy Palomalu? When I had my hair? Yeah, exactly. Or when like a hypothetical trade goes through and you think it's real and you get all excited. That's right.

They did that thing today where they said like, LeBron traded two spectacular blockbuster trade. Eagle thought LeBron was going to Orlando. He was like, what? This is crazy. And they were like, in theory. But other than that, and then rap history, I feel like you probably could teach you a course on at MIT or something. Dog, listen, I'm a hip hop head for real, in my opinion.

In my opinion, I mean, you know, people argue that they know the most about hip-hop, but I'm pretty locked in. Well, let me ask you something. What do you know about indigenous tribes? I come from one. No, is that true? No. Well, technically, technically, think about it.

Okay, hit me. You're half-black? Yes. And half Jewish. Yes. That's Jews, a tribe. Jews are a tribe. They love saying that shit.

I don't know what it means, but my dad says it all the time. He's like, you're tribe people. And I'm like, shut up, nigga, you're not Native American. I don't fucking know.

If there's no feathers involved and you can't, no, it don't count. Yeah, I enjoy my suicide so much. For like a month, I was, every time I get on the phone with my dad, I'd be like,

the honorable Elijah Muhammad once said, and I would start all my sentences like that, and it would drive him insane. And he started, like, calling my family and being like, I think, you know, I know Eagles, like a militant guy, but like, is he becoming like a black Israelite?

Like, is he becoming like a Muslim? Like, what's going on? Bro, you would be a funny-ass black Israelite. Bro, it would be the best. Like, just on the corner, because you'd have jokes and shit. Like, you'd be able to chirp people. I should be a black Israelite for Halloween. And then every day after that also. Every day, every day. I'm pretty sure some people watch my stand-up and think I'm a black Israelite. Yeah. Well, you are of the closest that I know as far as being black and Israeli. You know what I mean? Like, you are basically, you're Drake.

That's right. You're doing it. Well, today we're talking about a term that is apparently politically incorrect, uncontacted tribes. This is a term that I've kind of always just used. Like, yeah, uncontacted tribes. People talk about these folks all the time. You know what I mean? The Asmat people, we're talking about Michael Rockefeller and how this dude basically disappeared. No one knows what happened to them.

There's all these theories. The Sentinelese people of North Sentinel Islands off of the coast of India. This is a fascinating people group. And again, these are groups that have not necessarily had contact with the Western world. So as a result, people call them uncontacted. But it's kind of fucked up because it's like, uncontracted from what? Yeah. You know what I mean?

People say that term all the time, but it's like maybe they just don't, maybe they just don't with us. Maybe they look at us like uncontacted. I mean, I think they're living the life, bro. Don't even get me started. Like, what a, what a peaceful life compared to, I mean, just the outside, the stresses we deal with because of, you know. I'm a firm believer in this when it comes to, like, indigenous people groups.

Which, by the way, I'm going to say indigenous. I think that's fine, okay? I'm a comedian and I don't think they'll hear this. Yeah, I don't know if they, well, they might have like Starlink or some shit. I don't know. They might be on Twitter. Probably not. Probably not. Yeah, I guess they're not going to hear it. But if there are any indigenous folks listening from like a tree house somewhere or something, just what's up? First off, thanks for subscribing. We're only talking about you because we're fans of you. Yeah, we're huge fans, big time. And I have actually a firm believer that 90% of like the stress that we deal with is

a consequence of modernity. This is a side effect of this lavish, lush lifestyle that we live as Americans, specifically people in the first world in New York City. You know what I mean? When you said modernity, I was like, oh, Moderna, this is like a vaccine thing. He's like, consequences of vaccines. Yes, that's what I'm getting to. Actually, I'm glad you brought that up. No, it is like, I think you're constantly on your phone. People aren't like doing physical labor at all. And I think for 200,000 years, Homo sapiens have been just doing doing cowboy shit, living out of the woods, killing little chipmunks, fishing, eating fruit. Even though I will say, you ever watch like one of my favorite type of shows to watch,

which I recently found out. Some girl told me that it's the guy's equivalent to the murder documentaries. What's that? Is Survivor type of shows. Oh, have you seen Alone on Netflix? Okay, so it is the guy equivalent. Yeah, I see how you perked up. I'm like, oh, we all love this. Okay, yeah, we all just love this. I think it's built into our lizard brains. So here's the thing. Oh, that actually makes a lot of sense. sense what you're saying. Even gender-wise, it makes sense. Like, our caveman days of, like, what we naturally are. That's interesting. So, I do, I do kind of believe that. So, like,

I love those shows, but every so often, they're, like, eating, like, a squirrel. Like, I'm watching this one where it's, like, teams, right? It's on Netflix. And they'll, like, get this squirrel, and it'll be dinner for the whole thing. Yeah, yeah. And they'll be like, oh, this is so good. And then the guy will be like, this is three grams of protein. This will make it so they survive till tomorrow. Yeah. And I'm like, nigga, just starve. Like, honestly, like, if that's for dinner, bro,

just starve, bro. Let that squirrel live. It wasn't even worth it, bro. That should get to be bricked up, dude. I love that. I read this thing recently that I wanted to try as called a simulated hunt. Have you ever heard of this?

No. This is hilarious. So basically, like, you go to the gym, you lift, you get a little pump going, and then you run on the treadmill, five, seven, eight miles. Second you're done running, go get a steak.

Eat, like, like raw, like basically raw. steak and you're simulating a hunt. You're lifting, getting the pump, running, chasing after an animal, eating the flesh. You do this? No, but I saw it and I was like, this is kind of sick. I was like, this is kind of awesome. But then you look like a psycho, like you're getting off the treadmill. We should do this one day and we should like make a video out of it. We should like record it. Let's just go walk and get a hamburger and I'll be like close enough. That's funny. That's funny. That's like a quarter of the way there.

That's funny. Yeah. What's up guys? We're going to take a break really quick because I'm coming on the road. That's right. Pots Town, PA, Friday, November 8th, 2024. I'll be at Sol Joles. You can come see me do one hour of stand-up comedy, nothing more and nothing less. It's going to be an amazing time. And if you're not near Pots Town, don't worry because I'm coming to Stanford, Connecticut. I'm going to New York Comedy Club. That's right. They have a bunch of amazing clubs in the city and also an amazing one in Stanford, Connecticut, November 13th. If you want to come hang out, come hang with me, say what's up. I'll be talking to everybody after the show. We'll be doing an hour of comedy, guys. Stand-up comedy. It's my passion. It's what I love to do when I'm not

inside this tent. So come kick it with me. A bunch of crazy stories. We'll have a great time. And also, I have a show that will eventually become ideally a weekly show that I'm doing at Mary Lou's October 2nd in New York City. If you are a New Yorker or if you're in New York, Jersey, you know, Brooklyn, Staten Island even, you're invited. October 2nd, Mary Lou, you can find the link at my Instagram. Get it in the story. I'll put it in the description. I can't wait to see you guys there. Let's get back to the show. But I am a, I'm like fascinated by indigenous folks. I kind of think they're living the right way. I think that our lifestyle has gotten us a little soft and as a result we've had all these side effects. Like we're eating food

that's probably not that great for us because it's been like mass produced, but you got to do it to take care of, you know, a billion people or whatever. And then we're on social media. We're not exerting our bodies. It's like, I feel like 90%, maybe I shouldn't say 90%, a hundred percent of of our problems. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like anxiety and all these things that like I struggle with, other people deal with, I think it's a side effect of like, oh, we're not living amongst nature,

we're not seeing trees, we're not working out regularly, we're not getting sunlight. Again, I don't think that's a panacea to fix everybody's problems. But for me, when I get sunlight, I work out, I have a regular sleep schedule. I have friends and I'm like a pro-social animal, my life is like a million times better. And I look at these indigenous people, I'm like, I should do that. Oh, yeah, bro. But you should find a jungle That's what I'm saying

And bring your family This is the closest I could get This shit's fire This shit is fire But it's not always It's not always so gravy When it comes to trying to join An indigenous people group

As we're gonna find out There are some folks that have tried You actually have looked into indigenous people before I actually know a little bit about this I swear to God yeah I've heard about the guys that have like tried And then got fucking like body Do you know what you mean?

We're getting into all those stories And more We're breaking everything down I did a whole wormhole on head hunting. Like there's a little shrunken heads, which, for the record, have appeared in every people group around the world. It's like something like weirdly primal in like human beings.

We're going to discuss all this. You shrink heads? Yeah. Like in men and black? Yeah, exactly. You've seen beetle juice. Is that possible? Can you shrink a head?

Yeah. You got to take the brain out. You got to drain in the salt. Yeah, you got to take the skull out, right? Yeah, well, sometimes. Different people do different things. I'm going to explain all this. This is fascinating.

Um, and yeah, it's just like a, a fascinating little case study. Now, I'm talking about this because later the week I have my friend Hazen-Aaudel. He's like a survival. Oh, I know Hayes-N-A-Dell. You don't know Hayes-N. No, we grew up together. Stop. Don't even. Stop. He grew up in the jungle, I think. This thing is Tarzan. He's like a survivalist. He's got a bunch of shows in Discovery Channel. He's a fascinating dude. And we talked about, like, you know, doing like, you know,

drugs out in the, out in the jungle, doing, like, you know, medicinal ceremonies with plant medicine. We talked about, like, him running into, like, different people groups and, like, how indigenous people live and why he likes the lifestyle and all that stuff. So that comes out on Thursday. And after the conversation with him, it just got me thinking. I was like, dude, we got to jump into all this stuff. How does language start? Yeah, that's a... You know what you mean? You're like a random jungle tribe, right? How do you guys start that? How do you guys start communication? I heard a theory about this, like anthropologically speaking, that there's a, there's a research actually at Columbia. He's a group as a dancer. I forget his exact name.

But he now is a neuroscientist that studies the origins of language and speech. He's like a linguist. And he kind of has a theory in very broad, again, I don't fucking know, that basically singing and dance are kind of like the early predecessors to language. Because you think about it like almost every animal basically virtually, like virtually, you know, communicates through song. Or like, you know, body language and like the way they present themselves. So like they suggest that as homo sapiens were kind of like, you know, kind of. about evolving from a common ancestor that there was singing and dance literally it was like not literally dance and not literally singing but like in the way birds sing you know what I mean like we

think they're singing but really they're just like fuck me yeah yeah like they're talking they're trying to get dicked yeah and uh that's like basically what humans seems like they were done and then slowly like as we get vocal cords and stuff like that we're able to actually communicate like words and shit so that's kind of it all starts allegedly interesting yeah because they gotta think like a tribe like it's like there's no basis of knowledge yeah it's This is just... Out there. Out there.

Yeah. And then, like, a lot of stuff doesn't get written down, so it's all, like, oral tradition, all oral story. Which is why I'm a big believer in podcasts. I think books are, like, a deviation from the way that we've, like, preserved information for, like,

you know, a millennia. I hate books. But I think we should, because low-key... I've gone on many forums and said this. I don't believe the book. Talking is the way that we've passed on information for 200,000 years. I think books is... Books are...

It's propaganda. It's bullshit. The concept of, like, books being important. I'm like, this is crazy. Yeah. This is crazy. Yeah. No, we're going to swing back.

Now it's all the bad. We got to get rid of it. We got to burn all the books. Yes. Why do we have all this technology? We're still using books. It's crazy. For the record, I actually have a Kindle.

So I'm completely fine with that. See? Yeah. See? Now, I'm going to talk about like, specifically tribes and like indigenous people that have violent histories. Okay. Now, again, I don't want to paint all indigenous people this way.

I think most are actually probably pretty chill. But unfortunately, and rightfully so, they get fucked over by people, colonists, people coming in, fucking with their shit, stealing their stuff, all the way from the early times, and as a result,

they harbor a resentment. So, some of their violence and warriorship is, makes sense to me. And furthermore, I kind of admire it. I like, you know, these guys are badasses, and I like badass warriors

no matter where they're from. So I want to break down all that stuff, but I just want to make that little caveat. Seems like a lot of rich people in America do have a desire to just go run off the beaten path, get a trad wife, and go live in the woods.

And this is not a new phenomenon. Let me take you all the way back, 1961, Michael Rockefeller. You ever heard that name before? Yes, sir, the Rockefellas. Yes, exactly. Jay-Z boys. Exactly.

So he was signed to Jay-Z's label. No, he's a 23-year-old Harvard grad. All right. Son of New York governor and slash U.S. vice president, Nelson Rockefeller, and the grandson of the oil tycoon, Standard Oil, John D. Rockefeller. Beast-Ass family.

Crazy, right? This guy has the life made. He's living in the 60s in America. People complain about Bronny James. I'm just going to throw that in there. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, the king of the Nepos. And he was like, you know what? All this is great. I want to go live down in the jungle. He was running. He committed a crime. Yeah, yeah. What's his record?

Nobody's like, I'm going to go live in a jungle with all this money. No, nigger. Something happened. You did some shit. Yeah. You did some. He says, according to his cover story, he was fascinated about tribal art and wanted to collect a type of art for

a specific tribe known as the Asmat people. And this is in Dutch New Guinea. And he was basically like, I'm going to go down there. I'm going to get some art for my father's museum of primitive art in New York. And as a result, he was taken to one of the most dangerous and remote parts of the world. The Asmatt region of New Guinea. These people were known for their sophisticated wood carvings, but they also had a dark reputation for head hunting and ritualistic cannibalism.

Fire. Crazy, right? Fire. Like, I hear that shit. I'm like, what happened to that? That fire. This is where that dude, that fucking actor guy who's eating bitches. What's that nigga's name? Oh, Army Hammer? Army Hammer should have went with them. Yeah, for real.

They just be like, oh, bro, we know what you need. That's what he should have said. He should have been like, yo, y'all are being racist right now. He should have said he was from that tribe. This is culture. Whoa. Call me a culture, human being. Call me a culture vulture. But don't call me a cannibal. All right. Which actually, there's a whole crazy, like, symbolic history to cannibalism.

We'll get into that, too. basically this guy, Michael Rockefeller, 1961, he's traveling on a river in like a small little boat. He's with a Dutch anthropologist Renee Wassing, and the boat capsizes. Okay. Renée is clutching the side of the boat,

and he's holding on, and Michael Rockefeller looks out to the shore, and he's about 12 miles. But again, if you've ever been on water, you kind of see the shore, and you're like, bro, that shit is mad close. Yeah. I do it all the time.

Like, you'll be at the beach. That says a good point. You're like, yo, that sandbar. I'll go swim to it, and then you get halfway there, and you're like, Yeah, you're like, I'm going to die. He was like, I got that.

Twelve miles. His last words that he said to Wasing, this Dutch anthropologist, he says... That's the funniest transition ever. He was like, I got that. Twelve miles. His last words. His last words were, I think I can make it. He didn't make it.

That's the wrongest somebody's ever been. Despite an exhaustive search, including helicopters, airplanes, divers, local villagers, no trace of Michael was ever found. Officially. officially, and we'll come back to this. He was declared drowned, but for years, the rumor persisted. Some speculate that he was killed and eaten by the Asmott in retaliation for a previous massacre by Dutch colonial authorities in which several Asmelt leaders were executed.

So again, in New Guinea at this time, the Dutch are going in there, they're fucking them up, they're taking people, they're kidnapped, they're doing fuck shit, okay? So as a result, they got a little animosity. What if Michael Rockefeller makes it? And then they find him, then they go, oh, Look what we got. A little white boy. Merkham.

I mean, I don't think that's what happened. It sounds like this thing could drown. Well, well, all right, all right. Well, how about this? How about in the Sage Harvest in 2014, a journalist named Carl Hoffman went down to the Asthmont region, and he uncovered testimonies from villagers, the descendants of the people that were there at the time,

that hinted at the possibility that he indeed had been killed and cannibalized. Whoa. According to Hoffman, again, according to this guy, I never went to me getting it. I don't know what's going on there. He says that as he was leaving one of the villages for a final time, he witnessed a man acting out a scene wherein someone was killed, and he stopped and videotaped it.

Now, the man, according to the videotape that they found later, the assmat guy, he says, don't you tell the story to any other man or any of their village, because it's story is only for us. Don't speak. Don't tell the story. I hope you remember it and keep this for us. I hope this is for you and only you.

Don't talk to anyone forever or other people in the village. Whoa. So of course, I'll tell you guys what this guy said. According to Hoffman, the Asmatt warriors steeped in their ancestral traditions, speared Rockefeller, decapitated him and consumed his body in a ritualistic act meant to

balance the cosmic scales. According to these guys, the Asmatt culture held that headhunting was for real. It's not just violence, but it's a spiritual act to avenge the death of their own. By killing Rockefeller, Asmatt could avenge their fallen and placate the restless

spirits. It's gangster. Crazy. That's what this guy says. So maybe he did make it. Maybe he took a fucking spear of the chest. I like it. Kind of wild, right? Gangster shit. Like, I feel like we've lost this energy.

Like, yo, you want to pull up? You want to come to the shore? Bang. This is, this is like, this is like regular hood shit. It's like Chicago. Like, don't go on that block. This is our block. Where are you from?

This is like West Coast like, where your grandma stay? What Kendrick say? What are your grandma's shit? Low Key, though, I am fascinated by like, like, like in America specifically like all crime, whether it's like Italian mob or whether it's like gang violence in Chicago, like it's fascinating to me because I do think it showcases something core to what is human. You know what I mean? Like this idea of like the street code people talk about like in the wire and shit, right? Like that stuff I think is built into humanity. Well, it's also interesting like how different areas, what matters to different areas. Like I was talking to somebody about that the other day where I was like, all right, like if you go to the West Coast, right, they're like killing each other for like gangs and color. and neighborhoods, shit like that, you go to the East Coast, killing each other over drug money. It's all drug shit. It's all like, and that makes sense because New York is such a hustle, bustle place.

Even people who aren't, you know, legally hustling and bustling, they're hustling and bustling. That is like, let's get some money. Let's get rich. You know, and also it's like the hoods in New York are like the projects. They're like this piss in the hallway. They're all fucked up, right? The hoods in L.A., they're suburbs. Yeah, yeah, they're sunny all the time.

It's sunny all the time. They got grass. They got a nice house. I also think they do different drugs. Am I crazy for that? That's just my theory. Like, I feel like in New York, people are, like, doing fucking, like, like, coke and, like, heroin, fentanyl and shit.

And obviously that exists everywhere. Yeah. But I wonder if found in LA, like, for the longest time, it was like, yo, we're going to smoke weed. And now the weed's legal, it's like, all right, like, we're going to bang over other shit. It's not going to necessarily be drug trade. I don't know. I'm sure they do cocaine and stuff, too.

I'm sure people like drugs. Listen, what me and Mark is saying, any of you West Coast gang bangers? We're not saying that all. I did not say that. I did not. I don't believe that. That's a joke. And if anyone would like to come to the shows, this will be in 2025, all are welcome.

All, any, all colors. Any color that you wrap. Skin or. Skin or flag. Or anything, really. Whatever. Now, how about this theory, all right? 1964 suspicions about Michael Faroferockelers's appearance lived on.

Apparently this guy, journalist Milt Matchlin, set out for New Guinea to solve the history in 1969, and upon his return, he wrote a book. In 2008, this guy, Frazier Heston, set out to develop a feature film, and what they concluded is that potentially he's actually living amongst the people. Some people believe that Michael Rockefeller went out there. He's like, he's sex slave or something. Maybe sex? Like they're fucking him. I don't, that's not really what I said. I feel like you, I feel like you took it to a different place. You know what I mean? I feel like. Or you think they're like, like a regular slave, maybe? Yeah, why can't it just be regular slavery?

I don't know why I pictured Tropic Thunder which Ben Stiller had like the thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It might be that. I don't know. But this is a mystery that we've got to go solve next weekend when we go down there. Apparently, there's a photographer

that went down there in 69, and they took photos of Asmet people paddling in a canoe. They claim that there is a man, a white man that is on the boat, and he can be seen paddling the canoe and look strangely like Michael Rockefeller. Whoa.

That guy right there. Whoa. This is nuts. Again, this is just a theory. It's possible there's just a light skin, dude. That dick is not light skin, bro. No, that might be a little Chris Brown looking guy. You know what I mean?

Like, it might be... That's a white man. That's a white man. Might be Steph Curry. I don't know. There's no dick. No, no, it's high. He's got his leg up.

Come on. It's cold, bro. Look how cold it is. No, no. See, even that's a white man argue. No, it's freezing, bro. And then look at his hair, look at his hair line. He has no shape-up. They all got shape-ups.

Even, even, even, even, even people are some weird jungle, get shape-ups if they black. All the black people got shape-ups. He's, he's, no, he's natural. He just, he loves his blackness. So he's like, yo, I'm just going to let it rip. No, and that's, his hair straight. This is a white man. This is white man. His muscle tone is terrible on his legs. That man can't jump. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He easily looks 60. He's probably 28. You know what I mean?

That's him. sold. So that's the theory that possibly he went down there and he survived. You flipped me completely. I was like, oh, no, he drowned. And now I'm like, no, he's there. That's him. He's a sex slave.

One of the... Yeah, he's naked. He looks like he's getting fucked. I was right. Apparently, this is one of the last photos that was ever taken of him. This is where it gets very creepy, all right? One of the last photos he was ever seen with was with these motherfuckers. Wait.

So he was with them. He was with them with them. Oh, yeah, definitely don't think he drowned. I definitely don't think he drowned. Who knows? First of all, that's a devious looking smile. That dude is scary.

I can't tell if it's just because it's black and white or if this guy is devious. That is the scariest looking guy I've ever seen. Maybe you said a joke or something. Maybe he said something funny. Well, they all have very interesting smiles. Yeah, he's got, this is a handsome guy. Eh.

Handsome. Regardless, to this day, no one necessarily knows what happens. Some people think he was murdered. Some people think that he was murdered. was drowned, and others believed that he's just... Why was he there? What? Taking pictures of him?

He was just fascinated. He wanted to get art for his dad's museum. As the story goes. I don't think black people will ever do this. I don't think black people will ever do this. I don't think you can find a black person who ever did this. Why? Why not?

Life is dangerous enough. You don't need to do that. You don't need to do that. That's absurd. I would bet any amount of money, no black person has ever done this. Low key, though, like, I feel like it's like... And it's black tribes. That's the crazy.

Even black tribes, black people are like, now I'm good. Yeah, it's just life is too good for white people in America, so we're like, yo, let's go get some danger. Yeah. But black people are like, we will just call the cops. And that's the stat. I can literally call the cops on myself. And be like, ah, I'm so scared.

I can be like, officer, I need your help as a protector of the law. Yeah. And I'll be in a dangerous situation for you. Yeah, yeah. You get a spear in the chest or something. You know what I mean? That's crazy. Yeah.

Why would you go visit that type of tribe? That's crazy. Yeah. Just catch a vibe or something. I don't know. The ass mat people. language. He's learning the language. I don't know. But white people do this. This is a part of white culture, is to go and do shit for no reason. I'm a defender of white culture. I do think white

people have culture. Really? There is a culture to white people. I don't like what people say white people don't have culture. White people have culture. We do have culture. Tell me, what are some of our cultural artifacts? Tell me, what do we do? That's cool. Like incest. Okay. All right. You know what? We're going to edit that out. We're going to move on. You're starting really fucking piss me off. No, like doing the shit like this. This is white culture. yeah yeah no this is going out and being like we're gonna look at white culture is like risking life yeah yeah yeah that's a cultural thing skydiving skydiving skydiving fucking uh bungee jumping yeah uh swimming you guys swim that's wild okay that's not that's wild that's dangerous it's also not white

you know i mean you ever been to the caribbean these motherfuckers can swim like crazy no just be ignorant wrong good counter no no no good rebuttal what about no i'm like can't argue with that my favorite thing losing an argument just go no I was having to argue my buddy Foda and I said something like a great point. He goes, No, I think I'm right. I was like, well, I guess that's kind of the end of the combo, right? But that's such an honest position to take. Hey, actually, I think I'm right. Honestly, I don't want to talk about this anymore. I think I'm right. I guess we're move on. You see the game last night? You know what I mean? Like, it's just a combo hender. It's kind of nice.

What's up, guys? We're going to take a break really quick because I want to tell you about Smore Camp. Yes, join Smoor Camp. What is this? This is the inner sanctum. This is for the diehard camp folk, all right? This is not just for your regular camp listener. If you listen to a couple episodes here and there, I appreciate you, but this is not for you. All right, this is for the diehard campers. Sign up. Put your email in and you're going to be getting weekly updates about what's coming out next on the show. Exclusive merch updates. They'll be coming out very soon. And furthermore, you'll be getting interesting facts and little things that go into the research for this show that didn't make the episode because maybe it was a

little too crazy. Maybe it was a little too dark. You can check it out all there straight to your box. It's very easy. The link is in the description. Join the inner sanctum of the real campers, the real diehards, all right, the real people that mess with this show. It's awesome. I enjoy it. I enjoy putting it together. Check it out in the description. Let's get back to the show. The Asmat people are hilarious. And by hilarious, I mean, they just have a couple funny things that I found on that I found on Reddit or on Instagram. On Wikipedia. Yeah, I read on Wikipedia. Due to the daily flooding, which occurs in many parts of their land in New Guinea, the Asthmat dwellings have been built two or more meters above the ground raised on wooden posts.

That's not that funny. But the name of the dwellings that they live in is hilarious. Would you mind reading that word right there? That is the dwelling that they live in. Before I read this, I would just like to save my career. I am half of this word. That's crazy. You can't even say the word.

That's crazy. Well, it depends how you say it. Jew. Oh, God. Why did you say it like that? Because you said that. No, Jew. What the hell?

Jew. Jew, Wow, that's crazy. Their thing is called Jew, that's funny. That's the dwelling that they live in. They live in Jew. They live in a Jew. I know a lot of niggas that live in Jews.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the one, yeah. You know a lot of the niggins that live in big booty Jews. Yeah, get a nice little Jew girl. You know what I mean? That's not so bad. Yeah, that's what they live in. That's what their dwelling is called. And you might like this about their culture.

Many ass-met men practice polygamy by marrying more than one woman. In many cases, men are expected to marry the male relative's wife when a relative dies, less the widow and orphans be left without a source of protection or economic support. That's crazy. That second part was crazy. That's apparently what has happened. So if I die, my brother now has to fuck my wife.

That's crazy. Legally. That's crazy. And it's just for the... What do you want to happen to your wife? What do you... Let this a bit starve. What the fuck? No, you can't do that. Eagle. No. You got siblings? I got many siblings. Okay, so you die. I'm taking it with me. We both die,

motherfucker. Are you crazy? I'm on my deathbed, I'm like, baby, give me one more kiss. I can't be letting you get dogged out by my family. That's crazy. That's what I'm saying. But if I was Asimet, maybe I'd let it happen. Got to respect the culture, that's fair. It gets even crazier.

According to this one guy, Schneebaum. Sneebaum, I know Schneebaum. You grew up as Schnebombeen. He reported that many Asmet men had long-term ritual, sexual-slash-plotonic relationships with other men, although the prevalence of this practice has been... That is actually the technical term that they used. Although the prevalence of this practice has been disputed by others. There's a term called Mbai.

Mbai. I'm pronouncing this incorrectly. If there's any assma of people listening, feel free to comment. Mbai is the term. They were definitely fucking that white guy. Sorry, continue. The Mbai system, basically male partners were also known to share their wives in a practice called Papitchi.

This is probable that the missionary influence in the past few decades has reduced the occurrence of both Mbai and Papitzi. Wait, wait, what's Pappice again? Run that back? That is, according again to Wikipedia, I'm not an anthropologist. Male partners were known to share their wives in a practice called Pappichie. It's kind of hot. Just a little swinger action going on in the jungle. That's the thing. That's the thing.

See, Americans, we do it like for carnal pleasure. You know what I mean? Like, we do it like, oh, yeah, I want to get. They're doing it for just a part of the ritual, part of the society. It's kind of hot, some Mormon shit, some black Mormon shit. Right? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So they've been doing it for a while.

Yeah, that's cool. You know, I was, are they just, like, getting everybody pregnant? Like, do they have a pullout? Do they know? I'm sure they correlate at some point. I'm sure at some point they were like, oh, this is because we're nutting in them. They must, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's natural.

It's a very easy human instinct to understand. And then they go, I guess I'm going to pull out and none on these bitch's faces. Like, I don't know. I'm sure at some point. I've heard an element of this, according to, like, different tribes and stuff. I've corned to different tribes that'll do sort of like this kind of like polygamy, kind of like polyamory different people

who are constantly with different people's wives. Everyone's taking care of the kids. So like, it's not like, this is my child with my, it's like, the child belongs to the community. And we live in a tribe

of like 50, 60 people. There's no dads, all moms. Everyone's a mama. Everyone's a mama. That's what it is. Mrs. Doubtfire. You know, you know the moms, right? You go like, oh, she came out of the mom.

You don't know the dads. So everybody's a dad, I guess. And everyone's helping out. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if that's how they do it, but I've heard that amongst different, different people groups. Now, these people, again, have been known in there's been some, some, I guess, I don't want to say allegations, but there has been some documentation

that they're what's known as headhunters. Now, head hunting is a sort of like ritualistic, depending on the culture, basically the process of decapitating an enemy, and sometimes someone within your own tribe, to either showcase honor or to showcase your power, or to showcase, like, your power as a warrior or to become a man or even to honor someone in your own tribe. And like I said before, head hunting is fascinating. It has existed. It seems like in like every corner of the earth. This is not exclusive to like, oh, these people did it. It's like any continent at any time, there are people chopping off people's heads and holding that shit up like, yeah, this my shit. Gangston. Crazy. So like New Zealand, they had this thing. Whoa, New Zealand?

Yeah, New Zealand were doing it. The Maori. I don't know. I always thought those were like the peaceful whites. the whites that went there no, they're not peaceful. Really? There's very few peaceful whites. Maybe now they kind of chilled out a little. You know what I mean? They got some,

they got a beach front, you know what I mean? They can chill it. But I'm talking about the Maori people. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know the ones with tattoos? Yeah, yeah, the Hakka. Oh, like the rock-looking niggas.

Yeah. Yeah, you know, that's New Zealand? I don't know geography at all. Oceania, you could say. So like, Samoan, New Zealand. Is that you say Samoan? I mean, that's how the, cookies. That's how I pronounce it.

Wait, what do you mean? You never had a Samoan Girl Scout cookie? Samoan. Oh, Samoan. Yeah, I think they actually might have changed the name because I think that I don't know. The Rock had a problem with it? Yeah, someone. I just assume this thing is like the President of being Samoan. I'm like, The Rock. You got a Simone question. Ask the Rock. Yeah, exactly. He figured out. Yeah. He's like, all those dudes are the scariest motherfuckers over. They're all diesel. And they do the Haka and that shit is crazy. You ever seen that clip of them doing it when they were playing like Team USA? Yeah, they were just like, and then Team U.S. And then Team you say,

scraped them by like 80? It's like, all right, bit, do your fucking thing. It doesn't matter. We're still gonna beat you. Yeah, we invented basketball. Yeah.

It's like, they watched, they respected it. They were like, oh, wow, that's powerful. And then they were like, time to kill them. Yeah, but if it was rugby, they'd probably fuck them up. Oh, my God.

The All Blacks? That's what they call the New Zealand rugby team. They call them the All Blacks? Yeah. It's fucking funny. Again, maybe it's just because they're a jersey.

So they have a thing called the Moko, which, again, I think there's like, this might, have kind of like come out of use. But I believe that's what they call like their tattooing. So they have this thing called the Moko Mokai. And this is the Mokomokai, also known as Toy Moko, are the preserved heads of the Maori people with facial tattoos.

Now, this is where it gets fascinating. So again, they're like preserving these heads because they want to honor their people. So this is not necessarily head hunting. So when someone with Moko died, the head would be preserved. The brains and the eyes were removed with all the orifices sealed with a flax fiber and gum. The head was then boiled or steamed in an oven

before being smoked over an open fire, dried in the sun for several days. It was then treated with shark oil. And the preserved heads, the Toimoko, would be kept by their families in ornately carved boxes and brought out only for sacred ceremonies. Whoa. So this was the preservation and like,

again, I wouldn't call it head hunting. This is the preservation of the dead, of their own tribe and of their own people. They would literally, like, keep them in boxes and use it for like kind of like a ritualistic, like, like ceremony. like honor at the debt. Crazy.

What the fuck? This is where it gets crazy. The heads of enemy chiefs killed in battle were also preserved. This is kind of more like head hunting. These Toi-Moko, being considered trophies of war, would be displayed and then mocked. They were important to the diplomatic negotiations between warring tribes with return and exchange of Mokomukai being a bargaining chip as well as an essential precondition for peace. So let's say you captured one of my guys, but I have the Mokomukai of your leader.

You could be like, yo, I'll give you your. your boy back, but give me back the head of our, you know, our clans person. And that's peace. And I'd be like, here you go. And then you give us back our guy. Crazy. Now, these, these mocha-mokai were used as currency at a certain point. This is where it gets crazy. So, trading of these heads with Westerners apparently became with this guy Joseph Banks, all right? He was a botanist that was basically going over there. It's where the term bank comes from. That is, we'll fact checked up. Maybe that's true. I almost said you were wrong, but you know what? I don't fucking know. He traded old, old linen underwear for the head of a

14 year old boy. He was a freak. They wanted the underwear, bro. He was like, yeah, I'll give you some undies. Oh, they're freaks. And they were like, we'll give you a toy moko. So the head was then traded and a fascination with the heads began to grow. It became like a symbol of like, oh, like you out there, like you got money, like you're traveling. So it became like a little thing. This continued with the Mokal Mokai heads being traded for muskets and the subsequent musket wars in New Zealand. During this period of social destabilization, the Toy Moka became commercial trade items which would be sold as artworks and museum specimens for high fetch prices in Europe and the Americas and could be bartered for firearms and ammunition. Crazy. The demand for firearms amongst the Maudi people

in New Zealand became so high that the tribes would carry out raids on their neighbors to acquire more heads to trade for them. So again, they're not necessarily doing these head hunting, but now all of a sudden they're like, yo, we can get guns. While the earliest Twymoco sold to the Europeans were slain warriors, eventually the demand from the traders outstripped the supplies so the heads of slaves and prisoners were tattooed with meaningless motifs. Again, all the Māori tattoos have like extreme, like, cultural meaning to the people and people just started putting like fake tattoos on them just to sell them to get guns. The peak years is like 1820 to 1831. By 1831, the governor of New South Wales, issued a proclamation banning the further trade of heads out of New Zealand, and during the 1830s, the demand for firearms diminished because every surviving group basically got armed.

You know it just reminds me of? Weirdly? You know that old Chappelle joke where it's like from one of the, like, killing himself for what it's worth or something? It talks about, uh, uh, shit. Essentially it's like, uh, it's like there'll be peace in Israel and he's getting head. It's like they're a trading head for peace. Yeah, literally. That's what they wanted.

They were like, all right, everyone gets guns, and we just got to trade some heads of some people. Yeah. But it became literally used as like money. They were like giving them around. Like, yo, give me a gun. I got two heads. And then some people eventually got like 15, 16 of them.

They actually used to be at the Museum of History in New York City up until 2014. Then they got repatriated back to New Zealand. Wow. Because they were like, yo, you got heads of like all of our ancient people. Like, can we have them back? Yeah, you're right. You can have them. But it's not just New Zealanders that are doing the headhunting.

It's not just the assmat people of Vindon. and New Guinea. The Europeans. Here we go. You knew the whites was going to come through. The Celts. With some weird violence. The Celts of Europe practice head hunting.

They believe that the heads was the place where the person's soul existed. That this was sort of like, they had like a manna-like substance that existed in the minds of people. So apparently, the Romans and the Greeks recorded that Celts would had a habit of nailing heads of personal enemies to walls or dangling. them from the necks of horses. Whoa. Fire, right? It was pretty gangster, bro. So the Celtics practiced head hunting for a long time,

and there's all these stories of them, like, using them to, like, you know, they would kill their enemies and then just wear them on their horses. The Montenegrins of southeastern Europe, they would also apparently do this in some specific groups. They practiced headhunting up until 1876, allegedly carrying the head from a lock of hair grown specifically for that purpose. so they might keep these people alive and grow out their hair and then kill them to then use their hair to tie up

to like their horses or like to like a pole or some shit and by the 1830s of Montenegrin ruler Peter the second started a tower called Tabja basically above like a monastery the tower was never finished and the Montenegrin's user to display Turkish heads taken in battle as they were in frequent conflict with the Ottoman Empire crazy happened basically up until modern times

So like the Japanese did this shit during World War II We ever heard of the 100 man killing contest? No. This is like hardcore shit. Like a game shit? Bro, worse. This is basically between two specific Japanese army officers that were serving during the Japanese invasion of China.

Basically, they had a bet between each other and they were like, yo, who do you think can kill 100 people with swords fastest? And they literally went into China and they were just murdering people. chopping their heads off, dang, dang, didn't give a shit who it was, what they were doing, just massacring people. They couldn't come to an agreement who did it first. And then basically they were like, all right, let's up the stakes.

Let's do it with like 150 people, first to 150. And then eventually they both got caught and then tried for war crimes. Wow. Now, apparently one of them said that like this is not actually what happened. Like he ended up coming back and he was like, you know, I only killed like four or five people. like I didn't actually do it, but he has every incentive to say that also because he's about to get tried for war crimes. So people be decapitating people forever.

Damn. It gets a little bit crazy, right? This is the last one I'll tell you about this topic. During the Malayan emergency, British and the Commonwealth forces recruited headhunters from Borneo to fight and decapitate suspected guerrillas of the socialist and pro-independence Malayan National Liberation Army. This isn't like the 50s. Literally the British were like, yo, we need some. some real killers, let's hire indigenous people of Borneo to go murder all of our enemies. So they sent them out there and they were going and just like cutting people's heads off

as trophies and like turning them in to be like, yo, we did it, we killed your people. And they like got given money. Like they were hired as mercenaries. Fuck. Crazy, right? Apparently they denied this. And they were like, nah, that's not really what happened. Like, it wasn't really true.

And Winston Churchill eventually banned it who feared that like further photographs would continue being exploited for. communist propaganda, basically being like, look how fucking brutal these people are. But eventually it was confirmed. Secretary Oliver Littleton admitted before the House of Commons that the headhunting photographs were genuine and that they actually had hired headhunters from Borneo to murder their enemies. A whole new meaning to every time I hear anything about head.

I'm going to never forget this. Do you imagine these niggas learn English and come here? And then we play some music and it's like, I was getting some head, getting and they're like, what the fuck? You're a warrior? That's crazy. Superhead. That's where she got her name from.

Wow. Let's talk about the Centinalese of the North Sentinel Islands. My favorite. These are my favorites. These are the ones that people know about. Well, I grew up in Senilees. Is that true? Yeah.

You speak the language? Yeah. How does it sound? Kik! No S&L for Eagle Witt. I don't know, man. I don't know if the Centonlees will come canceling. These are fascinating people.

You've probably seen pictures of them. We'll throw some up on the screen right now. They are one of the few people. people groups that have not necessarily been interacted with by the outside world. They have had a couple interactions, which we're going to discuss. But as of now, they basically live in complete isolation, as they have for tens of thousands of years. And they're known for their fierce rejection of any contact with outsiders. They're technically a territory of India. And the Indian government's basically like, yo, you can't go there. The island is protected. And you're not even allowed to go

within three miles of the islands. Good on the Indian government. That's dope that they do that. Well, they do it for both ways. They're like, one, these people are so susceptible to infection and disease that if anyone goes over there, they could bring back a disease. No, they're going to kill all the people on the island. Those people have no immune system. Oh, they're so susceptible. Because they're so isolated.

They haven't had any illness. Like if you gave them a cold, they're going to die. They never had the cold. You know what I mean? Like, they, they haven't, they have, this is like Native American shit that happened here. Like, they never had any of our stuff, which is actually fascinating. Apparently, the reason why so many, like, American natives died is because in England, at the time, they had been living with cattle for a super long period of time, like the black

plague, all that shit. Some people suspect a lot of it came out of close proximity living with cattle. So literally, like, they would live on a farm here, and then they would have pigs up here, and the pigs would shit into the river, and then they would get cholera and they would drink it, and then half the people would die, half the people would get immunity, but they were live carriers of, like, the cholera and all that shit. So they go over to, you know, the indigenous people in America, get them all sick, some say on purpose, some say incidentally, and then wipe out the vast majority of them through

disease. Wow. And they're afraid the same thing's going to happen here. So, they're basically like, no one can go. It's so impressive that a civilization can last 10,000 years without technology, without modern technology. Bro, we lasted 200,000 without modern technology. Think about it. I'm slow. No, but think about it, though. Like, I think we forget that. Like, yo, we are... We're survivors. We can do this. Your great, great, great, great ancestors, like, lived, like, these people, like my ancestors, we're fucking chopping heads off and putting them on horses, you know what I mean? or some shit, you know what I mean? Like, we are, human beings are ancient.

And I feel like we don't, we don't acknowledge it. I feel like we just look around. We're like, oh yeah, we just got here. We live in cities. We live in suburbs. This is like all brand new. Even like, we survive. Yeah.

We are extremely resilient as human beings. And furthermore, like some people even argue that like agrarian society, like growing like, you know, crops and stuff. Like, I don't even think the North Sentinelese people are agrarian. Like, I think they're true hunter-gatherers that are like finding fruits, go fishing and just live off the land that way. Wow. Like the whole agrarian thing is only what, seven, 10,000 years old, if you believe in the younger Darius Impact Theory. Maybe it's 20,000, 30,000. But like, still, we lived 150,000 years and maybe even more as homo sapiens with our same brain that we have right now.

Just living off the land, eating fruits, fucking walking around, eating meat. Crazy. What's up, guys? We're going to take a break really quick because I got to tell you about this sick little wrist accoutrement that I got on right here. I know it looks fast. Well, I know it looks sick, but it's actually for my health so I can live a long time. This is known as the whoop. You probably see me wearing it during this podcast, maybe on stage, and I'm telling you this is the single best device for tracking all of your health needs. I'm telling you, it is the most advanced health and fitness wearable on the market, all right? And this October, I'm doing sober October.

That's right. I'm not doing fentanyl one time this entire month or alcohol. Neither of those. And I'm actually joining the rest of the flagrant crew. Allegedly they're going to do it. Akash has been doing it his whole life. We're going to see if the other guys can keep up. I don't know. All I can say is that alcohol negatively affects my sleep drastically. I got my app right here. I'm kind of addicted. I track it every single morning because I like to know how I'm sleeping every night.

Alcohol kills it. So now that I know this, I got to be very careful with my alcohol intake. I don't cut it out completely. I'm just a little bit more selective. If I got to perform the next day, I don't drink. And that's thanks to whoop. So if you're interested in taking control of your health, If you're interested in learning about your own sleep habits, you can track your workouts. I use the fitness trainer so I can keep on task with my workouts. I work out better and I work out faster. And if you're interested in doing this for yourself, viewers of this show are actually going to get one month free trial when they sign up at join.wop.com slash camp.

That's right. That's join. Dot whoop.com slash camp. Use a promo code camp and you're going to get one month free trial. See what kind of improvements in your health you can make. for yourself. Let's get back to the show. So they basically have an embargo on this whole place, and they're like, no one could go anywhere close. First came to the attention of the outside world in 19th century. British naval officer, again, during the colonization of, you know, South Asia,

the Indian subcontinent, Pakistan, India. This guy went down there, Maurice Vidal Portman, and he made several attempts to, quote, civilize these folks. Crazy. He was appointed as an officer in charge of the Andamenees home, the colonial outposts established to administer to the indigenous population. He basically saw that as a strategic location and potentially a penal colony, like the land they were on. And the indigenous people, again, according to the time, which I don't condone, they were viewed as savages that needed to be civilized. Of course, this is the fucking 19th century. One of the first expeditions in 1880, Portman kidnapped several members of the tribe. That's not savage.

including an elderly couple and four children. That's not savage. No, that's research, bro. Come on. That is, they're trying to civilize these savages. So, of course, they had to kidnap them. Very civil to kidnap. Of course.

What do you mean? So they take all the kids, they take the adults, and the adults almost immediately die of disease. Like, they're just like they get wiped out of me. The children survive and they are returned to the island with gifts, as if that's going to make it okay. Like, hey, so are we kidnapped your people? And so are we killed your elders?

I love the concept of them giving them gifts, but it's gifts they, like, can't use. Like, they're like, here's a PS5. And a TV, just plug it into a rock. Yeah, yeah. That's what I would want. You know what I mean? Give me a PS5.

And they're like, all right, send them off. Basically, they believe that this left a lasting impression of fear and distrust towards the outsiders. Understandable. Understandable. The first contact possibly cemented the tribe's hostility, and they were basically like, yo, fuck these people forever. If they ever come here,

they're getting murked immediately because we're not having anyone else kidnap to fuck them forever. This guy, Portman, is kind of a dirty history. His main interest was documenting the physical characteristics of the people. He set up a dark room in a photography studio in his mansion in Port Blair and took hundreds of photographs of the indigenous people, measured every part of their bodies, cataloging details such as skin color, nose shape, and even penis size.

This guy's sick. He gets worse. He traveled without other British personnel often, preferring instead to be accompanied by the servants with whom he allegedly engaged in sexual relations. Portman repeatedly praised the male body. He praised the body of the men that were there. Later, his obituary explains that he considered himself, quote, homosexual, but never released information publicly until he came close to death.

Fucked up. Dude, was sucking an indigenous dick. He went up, probably getting to suck. This guy's a fucking maniac, went over there, tried to civilize him, kidnapped all their people, and then was having sex with him. And then on his death, I was like, I'm gay, my bad. the fuck.

It's like a Dwight Howard case. Yo, I'm from Orlando, all right? I'm not taking any, any Orlando slander on this podcast, okay? That's the funniest thing with Dwight Howard for years. I'm not gay. I'm not gay. Hey, this guy, me, listen, I'm gay, but I don't...

I love... Way to come out. Superman, I got your back, all right? I'm sure a lot of men have called him Superman. Yeah, and I'm sure many men have gotten his back. In 2006, two Indian fishermen, Sundar Raj, and Pundit Tuari, attempted to harvest crabs off the North Sentinel Island. This is in 2006.

They drifted toward the island after their boat's makeshift anchor failed in the night. Other boats saw their little boat drifting over to the shore, and they didn't respond to the warning calls from passing fishermen, and their boat drifted to the shallows near the island. What do you think happened to them? Death. The group of Sentinelese attacked the two fishermen with axes and killed them. The bodies were put on bamboo stakes and left on the beach like scarecrows.

Three days later, the Indian Coast Guard found and went to retrieve the bodies. When the helicopter landed, the Sentinelese attacked the soldiers with arrows and the mission was abandoned. Whoa. They couldn't even retrieve the bodies. That is crazy. That's how hardcore these Malfour is. These people are gangster. They're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Look at your boy. Dead. Whoa. Oh, you want to come get them with your giant little bird twisty thing? Bang. Arrow, right to the propeller. Fuck you. Crazy. Yeah, because they don't even know what that thing is. Yeah, they think that's another person. Who knows what they think? You know, they think it's a portal or something. They're like, yo, fuck you and your whole spinning bird portal. Out of here. Now-

I kind of wish I lived in one of these things, honestly. I want to live amongst these. I want to be an indigenous person. And just fuck people up. Dog, it's just a better life, bro. They're just like, yo, we just fucking eat shit. We fuck. We go to sleep. We eat shit. we fuck. Like, that's what we do, dog. You heard that Louis bit about, like, what God thinks when he comes back to Earth and sees people, like, having jobs and stuff. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I gave you everything. Yeah, yeah, like, there's food on the ground. It's for free. Just go eat it. And they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, what about the polar bears? What do you do with them? Oh, we kill them. No, there's food. There's, I keep you free. It's everywhere. It is crazy. Now, you would think at this point,

no one would ever go to the island, right? A couple of fish. accidentally fell asleep and then got their heads chopped off. Like you would think no one would go. No one, right? Yeah. You're fucking wrong. You're fucking wrong, you. Because in 2018, John Allen Chow, a Christian missionary from the United States,

was interested in converting them. He was inspired by the stories of missionaries like Jim Elliott, who was killed while trying to evangelize an isolated tribe in Ecuador in the 50s. I love the concept of him being inspired by someone who was killed, trying. Yes, he was. And he was like, you know what? Let's do it. He went to India and was living there for a period of time,

and he was fascinated by the Sentinelese and was like, you know what? Are you inspired by someone who failed? I'm sorry, I can't get over this. No time in life has someone been like, like, it's like when your boys is like Kobe Bryant inspires me. And like who inspires you? Well, this is this kid in school that wanted to be a basketball player. And he never made it.

And you're like, that dick inspires you? Yeah, yeah, I don't know, something about failing. My brother got cut from the team and I was like, you know what? I'm going to give it a shot. They're like, why? Well, I would just maybe try music. Why?

I'd follow the guy who failed. Well, he did. He did it. And weirdly enough, Jim Elliott's story is kind of fascinating. He did get murdered by this tribe in Ecuador, but there's more to that. We'll get to that later. Basically, since high school, John, this guy, 2018, his mind was set on the Centinalese and made a bunch of preparations for his mission.

This was his third trip to India and to the islands nearby since 2015. According to All Nations, which is like a group that was covering this, he underwent extensive training to be a missionary in 2017. He was a survivalist, mountain climber, scuba diver, EMT, and a wilderness guide who led people on hiking and camping adventures through the Pacific North West. He knew how to survive and hostile climates and conditions. He had a bunch of medical stuff. He had a thermostat. He had all these ternicates. He had everything that he needed. He was also part Native American Chokhtaw. Chak, what? Chalkda. Oh, that's like a Native American tribe. Exactly.

Fire. He was part that. And he was like, you know what? If anyone can convert Indians, it's me. Snick is an idiot. He should know as part native. He should be like, yo, it's not, maybe he thought, yo, if the Europeans came over

and he was like, he was like, I know what they did to my people and I'm gonna do it to another indigenous tribe. Like I'm just gonna like, let's keep it going. Exactly.

Like bro, why would you do that? Why would you do this? This clearly isn't a good idea. He was tap dancing. He was tap dancing. He was tap dancing. You know what happens with Native Americans

were looking at him like, bro, what's wrong with you? You know what happens when natives tap dance. it starts to rain. Anyway, the Indian government prohibited contact with the tribes

because of their... Anyway, it was very nice. Because of their immune system, so he planned his mission in secret. He hired local fishermen and paid them around 300 bucks to take him to the island. So basically, he had this

little fishing boat and he was like, yo, let me go there, let me go give them some gifts, I'll come back to the boat, let me sleep on the boat, and then I'll go back over there, I'll give them some more gifts, let me come back to the boat,

and then I'll finally go over there and then we'll be friends and everyone will live happily ever after. They'll become crazy. I wish we knew what the gifts were. Let's look. November 14, 2018, the fisherman took Chow near the North Sentinel Islands, where he used a kayak to paddle closer. He made several attempts to approach the island over the next few days. He kept a journal that he kept on writing throughout the whole time. In his journal,

which he kept during the mission, he describes his initial fear. He says, I regret, I began to panic as I saw them going. I saw them on the shores. They began to string their bows. My thoughts were directed towards the fact that I was almost an arrow range. I backpedaled facing them. And then they caught a fish and I turned and paddled like I had never paddled in my life back to the boat. I felt fucking pussy. Don't don't half ass it, bro. He went back to the boat and was like, all right, let's regroup and let's go back tomorrow. That's fair.

It's fair. Second encounter. He goes on his kayak near the shore. The islanders are yelling. John writes that he, quote, sang them some worship songs and hymns and that they would fall silent after this. Then the two of them, then two of them dropped their bows and took a dugout to meet him. I couldn't tell if they were truly armed or not, so I still kept a safe distance away and dropped off fish in gifts,

and at first they pulled their dugout, past the gifts, and were coming at me. Then they turned and grabbed the gifts except for the shovel. I paddled after them and exchanged some more gifts. I preached to them, starting in Genesis, and disembarked my kayak to show them that I, too, have two legs. I was inches from the unarmed guy. It was at this point, a young boy shot an arrow towards John's, chest, which got stuck halfway through his waterproof Bible that he was holding while he was preaching.

He jumps back on his kayak and retreats back to the boat. He writes... He writes... Heived by God. Literally, writes in his journal on November 15th, I'm scared. There I said it. Lord, let your will be done. If you want me to actually get shot or even killed with an arrow, then so be it. I think I could be more useful alive, though, but you God, I give you all the glory, whatever happens. I don't want to die. Would it be wiser to leave and let someone else continue? No, I don't think so. John also writes. It almost seems like certain deaths to stay here, yet there's evidence of change.

We'll try again tomorrow. What race is this guy? Part Choctaw. His last name's Chow. He's like Native American guy. Maybe Filipino. But his first name is John Allen. So there's definitely some white in there. John Allen.

Strong white bias, if I had to guess. But again, I don't know. This guy is spectacular. Well, this is his final entry. This guy's a fighter. John was planning what turned out to be his last trip. whoever comes after me, he wrote, to take my place, whether it's after tomorrow or another time, please give them double the anointing and bless them mightily. In his final letter, written to his family,

he states, you guys might think I'm crazy and all this, but I think it's worth it to declare Jesus to these people. Please do not let, do not be angry at them or God if I get killed. Rather, please live your lives and obedience to whatever he has called you to do, and I'll see you again when you pass through the veil. He concludes his writing by saying, this is not a pointless thing. The eternal lives of the tribe is at hand, and I cannot wait to see them around the throne of God worshiping in their own language as Revelations chapter 7, verse 9 and 10. This nigga's sick.

See, this is the thing that makes me not really believe in religion for us. Because I'm like, all right, bro. Like, all right. So you think God just put these niggas here with no possible understanding of Christianity so they have to go to hell. That's crazy, bro. That's not fair.

I think God's more fair than that. Why would God make people and put them on this little thing with no possible understanding of Christianity and because they don't understand Christianity they have to go to hell. People have argued this. People say that is it worse to try to proselytize

and teach people about the name of Christ because then they can be condemned to hell if they reject him. But if they never know him, then it's possible they could go to heaven. Oh, okay. So as long as they never know him, they can go to heaven.

It depends on kind of your sect, but that's kind of what I believe. That's what I believe too. I'm like, just because they don't know the niggit? Like, they never had a chance. It says in the Bible that the covenant is written on the hearts of all men.

Exactly. So Jesus, that niggie in your heart. I think so. I think if you never know and you're growing up and, you know, the North Sentinelese great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandpa, you know, a thousand years ago. You know, sometimes I, sometimes I say something that sounds so ignorant. I want to make it the name to my first comedy special, even though it will have nothing to do with what's in the special. What is it? That nigga Jesus. I think that should be the name of my first comedy special. That nigga Jesus? Yeah. Have you seen that nigga Jesus? fire right I do sick but yeah he uh he was like you I'm gonna go teach these people the name of Christ and they're all gonna get saved again I'm one of these people I'm like I think you can

look around at the world to be like yo God is amazing and maybe you don't know necessarily that's Jesus specifically but you go look at God's creation and I think God will look at look at you favorably and say you know what you did the best with what you had you're welcome to the kingdom of and they're doing the most like humane version of living they're doing like hey man like we don't want anything crazy they don't want just trying to survive They don't watch porn. They don't... They're just trying to survive.

I don't think they probably don't steal. You know what I mean? It's probably hard to steal from someone when they're only eight people on your little island. You know what I mean? Wait, wait. How many people are on this?

I don't know how many. Oh, okay. I've read different reports. What's the smallest islands of like indigenous people that like survive and reproduce? So the exact number of North Central East people is unknown, but estimates range

from like 35 to 500. The most common range being around like 50 to 200. So it's not super, super big. You know what I mean? That's a... That's an apartment builder. What's the numbers? Some people estimate, like, the most common estimate is 50 to 200.

Yeah. 50 to 200. But have you heard of Dunbar's number? What's up, guys? We're going to take a break really quick because you need a clean and healthy alternative to give you energy throughout the day. If you're like me, you've been using a bunch of different type of stimulants and supplements to try to get yourself through the day.

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Put your body in ketosis. If that's what you're trying to do, now let's get back to the show. There's an anthropologist's got something dumb bar. I don't know. And he basically says, like the most that a group can grow to before it fractures off is like around 120.

So like for most... Oh, before being. Beef starts. Before, like, you basically have too many people to, like, coordinate and, like, live sustainably. Before you have to have a government. Basically type shit. And so, like, typically, once, like, homo sapiens get to, like, 120, 150, they break off. There's a new chief and they kind of form a separate group. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, like, beef starts. Like, they, eventually, they're going to start wars with each other. Exactly. If you get to pass a certain number. Exactly. So. Interesting. It's some suggest that, like, human beings, although we can really,

because, again, we still got an old, old brain. We got an ancient in mind that's been around for a couple hundred thousand years. that's all we can really mentally handle. You know what I mean? You ever heard that thing? There's a thing, and I was bored one time, and I made a list. There's a thing where it's like,

you can only remember so many names. Yeah. I forgot the number, but I think it's like, it's not a lot. It's like 200 or something like that. Probably right around Dunbar's number, if I had a guess.

And I remember I literally like made a list. I was like, oh, what's some names? I got to like one something. And I was like, this is very hard. That is what our brands are supposed to, do. So this whole idea of like, oh, I got a thousand friends. I got 500,000 that follow me. It's like, you can't. And like some of them are like simple names, like mom and dad. I don't know my mom's name. I was like mom.

Like mom, where have I heard that name before? Mom. Oh, mom. My mom. Yeah. No, I don't know if our brains are meant to handle this, which furthermore kind of goes to like, I almost wonder of government because you have these people that like dictators that control a billion people, hundreds of millions. They have armies of millions of people. I don't know if our brains know how to handle that. Like, think about it. We're probably not meant to lead that many people.

We got brains that are know how to handle like a couple hundred. And now all of a sudden it's like, yo, here's a million. I just, I think like when people get calloused and they're like, oh, you don't know, one death is a tragedy, a million deaths. That's a statistic. Like that I think is where it comes from because our brains are just like, no, this is all we can handle. Yeah. Let me tell you about John's final journey, all right?

he basically writes down in his journal, I love you all, I'll see you all soon, he gives his journal to the fishermen and say, if I don't return, please give this journal to my family, United States, and pass on all my personal belongings. The fishermen watched as his boat approached the island for the last time. They saw the Sentinelese shoot arrows at him as soon as he reached the beach. this time, Chowd did not retreat. The fisherman reported seeing the sentinelies dragging his body along the beach and on that day they buried it in the sand. Terrified, the fishermen left the area

and reported to the local authorities in Port Blair that the preacher had died. And that was the last that we had ever heard of John Chow. Yeah, I mean, that's like pretty standard I think amongst a lot of cultures like burying or cremating because of disease and stuff spreads from bodies. Yeah, yeah. So you got to get rid of it. But they're also just not a cannibalist

culture. They weren't like, oh, we should eat this nigga. They were like, oh, let's bury him. Yeah. Well, apparently, like, a lot of, like, the cannibalist cultures, like, they'll do it as a form of, like, uh, ritual. They do it as, like a ritual thing. So, like, if they, like, kill an opposing tribe, then they'll eat parts of the body to basically, like, other absorbed power or, uh, you know, there's kind of like a, almost like a ceremonial aspect to it, where, like, there's just, like, some random invader. They might not necessarily have that same kind of ritualistic thing. I don't know. I'm kind of speculating here. Now, this guy, Jim Elliott, that inspired him. Okay.

Jim Elliott is a guy back in the 50s that goes to Ecuador, all right? He's a Christian missionary that goes down there with this guy Pete Fleming. Their goal was to work among the Ketua people, an indigenous tribe in the region. They were working on the Shandia mission station. Elliot began planning how to reach the tribe who had a reputation for violence and had killed many outsiders who tried to approach them. For months, Elliot and his team prepared for contact with the tribe. They learn phrases in the tribe's language, strategize ways to approach them without peering threatening, and use a small airplane flown to make initial contact. They devise a system where they would fly over the specific tribe, which is known as the Horiani. And they use loudspeaker

to communicate friendly messages while lowering gifts such as food. Horiani? Yes. I'm going to start calling business that. I'm going to like this horiani. What you call me? She a horny. Like a tribal woman. Like she's an Amazonian. She's tall. She's a little... It's a tall whore. Yeah. It's a horny. and would basically, like, give them food and stuff and, like, gifts. They responded positively at first. They accepted the gifts and returned and even return some items, like they would trade with them. Encouraged by this, Elliot and his team decided, you know what, it's time for a face-to-face meeting.

So in January, 1956, they established a camp near the Coray River where the Harani settlement basically is. On January 3rd, 1956, Elliot and his companion set up camp on the sandbar, and they hoped that the location would allow for peaceful contact after a couple days of waiting, a small group of Horiani, including a man that they nicknamed George, made contact. One of the missionaries even took the man up in a plane for a short flight, again, what he thought would be building goodwill between the two groups. So, this guy takes one of the tribesmen, the Horiani, takes him on an airplane ride, and he's like, all right, now we're boys. I took him in the airplane, my big bird, we must be cool. Apparently not the case.

The missionaries were unaware of growing intentions within the tribe itself. Some members of the tribe really liked them. They went on the plane. They were like, you know, these guys are cool. They give us gifts. Other members of the tribe distrusted the outsiders and believed that they were a threat. On January 8th, a group of warriors armed with spears approached the camp that Jim Elliott and his boys were sleeping in.

The other four missionaries, Pete Fleming, Ed McColley, and Roger Yudorian and Nate St. Were caught off guard. The missionaries were armed, but they had made a pact to not use their weapons against the people, even if their lives were in danger, but they believed that killing them would destroy any chance of future peaceful contact and conversation. As a result, when the Horiani attacked, Elliot and his companions did not defend themselves. They were all speared to death by the tribe. Jim Elliott was the first to be killed, and then Pete Fleming and the other bodies, they tried to get away, and they were basically all murdered. The missionaries' deaths were widely reported in the media,

including a 10-page article in Life magazine that brought the story to international attention. The deaths were initially seen as a tragic loss of life, but they also aspired a new wave of missionary work rather than retreating from the area, the families of the slain missionaries, specifically Jim's wife, his widow, Elizabeth Elliott, and Rachel's saint, Nate's sister, chose to continue their family's mission.

What the fuck? Through their effort, peaceful contact was eventually made with the Horiani and several members of the tribe, including some of the very men who killed their brother and their husband. Whoa. They converted them to Christianity, and the Horyana later welcomed both Elizabeth Elliott and Rachel St.

into their community, and they worked alongside. The power of pussy. It's the power of pussy. Dudes came, they got killed. Girls came, the tribe niggas was like, well, I've never seen bitches that look like this. It's kind of smooth, you know. Let's hear them out. Maybe that's what they need.

Maybe they need to just be like, all right, only female missionaries from now on. I think only female people should go to these weird, yeah. No, that's smooth. No one's going to look at a Latina and be like, what? No, yeah. It's a threat. Yeah. You get a nice in between.

You see Latina, you're like, all right, I'll listen. They're not white, they're not black. What do you got to say? A little medium hot. What do you got to say? But actually, maybe it might not have worked, because these guys are Ecuadorans, so they might know Latinos.

I think just give them, honestly, not even Latinos. I think give them whatever type of chick is not their type of chick. Every dude likes variety. You know what I mean? Oh, that's a good point. And it's like if you bring, let's say it's a white tribe, bring a black chick, yeah, black tribe, bring a white chick,

Hispanic tribe, bring a black or a white chick. Yo. Bring them something they haven't seen before. Yeah. You know? A BBL Asian. BBL Asian. Bro.

Everyone has a BBL Asian. That's fire. They're like, who's this Jesus guy you've been talking about? I'll listen to Jesus. You want me to be Christian? I'll be Christian. Oh, to Oda hit, I got to be Christian? I'll be fucking be Christian.

Hallelujah. It is crazy, though. They ended up building a relationship with the tribe and they ended up being friends, basically, therefore, all the way down. Pretty crazy. So maybe that's the power of Christianity. That's the thing. A lot of this, you know,

going to these tribes and da-da-da-da-da, I don't support it unless they're Christian, in which case, peace with you. You look like white Jesus. What do you mean white Jesus? You know, the wrong one. No, no, no, no, no. Jesus was an Anglo-Saxon of European.

You don't know this. He was. Jesus was a white man. So my mom is such a militant black woman. She's a Hotep. My mom is such a Hosexan. Yeah, that, that, so like, I think Jesus is black, right? I'm like most black people.

I think Jesus is black. My mom thinks Jesus was dark skin. My mom is like, he didn't, because I'll be like, yeah, he probably looked like me, right? And a lot of people would argue, like, yeah, maybe he looked like you. My mom's like, he was dark. No. He was like Wesley Snipes, black. Like, just like blackety black, black, black.

And she's got like a whole bunch of YouTube conspiracy theory videos to back it up. She, like, fully believes Jesus was a dark skin black man. I remember her saying that. That's why that, no, for real, that's why he walked on the water because he was wearing Jordans. They didn't want to fuck him up. I'm pretty sure. Is that true?

That's what I've read. That's what I've read. When he did the fishes and loaves, you remember that? He did the fishes and loaves and multiplied them. Bro, fish and chips. Exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a red lobster. That was the first red lobster.

That's how he founded Red Lobster, actually. That's a good question. Is red lobster, is that a black establishment? I doubt it. You don't think so? No. All my friends that went to Red Lobster growing up? I mean, I think black people go, but I don't think it's owned by black people.

No, no, but in terms of, like, a cultural establishment. Yeah. Black people like the cheddar biscuits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, there's a couple spots like that that I think white people don't realize, like, oh, that's like some black shit. Like, yeah, this would die without our business. Yeah, like, red lobster would fall apart with them. Applebee's fall apart without black people.

No, is Applebee's a black restaurant? Sun. No way. Son. I did not know this. Son. That's hilarious to me. Yo, the girl I'm talking to her right now, she said the most rash thing I've ever heard.

She said, uh, she said, yo, just, you know, just, you know, does the Applebee's got hookah? I was like, bitch. I was like, what is this? I was like, what the fuck? The craziest part, it does. That's what you don't realize. Next time you go. I was like, I was like, yo, if you went to Applebee's with this idea, they would have to give you money. I mean, this is a brilliant idea. It's the only thing that could take them up another one. You're the president of Applebee's now? Dog. Huka at Applebee's? Yeah, that would go crazy. Dog, they'd be bigger than McDonald's. Yeah, that's huge. That is fire. What about, I feel like Raising Keynes kind of goes both ways. Raising Keynes goes both ways. Raising Keynes is delicious.

Oh, that's amazing. Bro, it's unbelievable. You know what I think is a white fast food chain? Zaxpies. I've never even heard of it. There you go. Zaxpies? Exhibit A.

Is that a real place? I thought everyone knew Xaxees. Maybe it's like a southern thing. Do they have it? They don't have it up here? I guess not. No, I don't really see any one. Oh, okay, but you had it down south.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was it good? Oh, that's great. That's not white. That is a good point. That is a great point. Yo, what about Chili's? What about Chili's?

Chillies. R.B's is probably white. Arby's is super white. Y, Arby's is white. I've never met a black person that was like, let's hit Arby's. Let's get roast beef. That's not, that's like, that's what white people ate in like the 50s. You ever heard that Dion Cole joke?

No. Where he's like, what if Arby's is just stands for roast beef? R.B. Yeah. It's like one of those weird little one-liners he does. And I'm like, oh, fuck, that's actually a good point. It's a great, it's an acronym. Yeah, they spell it like it's not, but it is an acronym.

That's crazy. kind of genius. Bro, I just saw Dion Kill at the Kid Super Show at the Apollo. Oh, word? He ripped. It was awesome to see it, bro. He was, he was fire. I'd never really seen him do sand before until that show, and I was like, wow.

Oh, yeah, I saw something like that. You guys did some type of thing at the Apollo. Yeah, I was just helping. I wasn't involved, but I, uh, I saw him go up and I was like, dude. That whole show was crazy. It was fire. Everyone, Ever was Earthquake was there. D.

D.C. Youngfly. Jeff Arcuri did great. D.C. went up to? Yeah, yeah. D.C. went up at the end, bro. He's one of the most talented human beings ever seen. Right, just went up there and just roasted everybody and just was like off the cuff. Bro, literally, just like riffing and like killing.

He went to the very end. It was like a long show. It goes up the very end. He's like, I feel like I'm in a cathedral right now. Like, he was, it was amazing. He's, he's so talented. Um, but yeah, dude, these are some of the on contact and tribe stories. There's a bunch of other ones.

There's like. Yeah, my bad. We got side track just now, like, crazy. No, no, no. I mean, you're good. Most of these other ones I got are like just kind of like little, you know, little like, uh, little side taintest. Like there's the, oh, this one is cool.

We can end on this one. The Agori. You ever heard of these people? These are a people group living in India. They're one of the most extreme religious sex in the world, living on the periphery of society. So basically they are a, they're, they are Shiavite ascetics. Is that, I think that's how you pronounce it.

They worship Shiva, the god of death. The core philosophy of the Agori revolves around transcending the dualities of existence, such as life and death, purity and impurity, and embracing everything as a manifestation of the divine. They basically do a bunch of practices that, like, they embrace death. They're not afraid of death. They're like, oh, good.

Because they see death as an opportunity to overcome our physical, carnal bondage on earth. These niggas are fucking elevated. They are way doper than us. Bro, let me show you some pictures of these guys. These guys are wild. Yeah, I was thinking about it. You know, I was thinking about what I would do

if I visited one of these tribes. I think I have a game plan. What's that? My game plan, and it comes to the fast food combo we had. These are the agorri. Wild, right? Whoa, that's kind of gangster, bro. These guys don't give a fuck.

There's actually, there's, yo, I got, hold on, tell me, tell me how you, how you break in. Everything I've told you about how everyone gets speared to death. It's such a good point. Tell me what you're going to do. Such a good plan. Go ahead.

First of all, I'm coming with hell of bitches, right? All right. Not on some pimps shit, you know what I mean? not on some like, you know, they have to do anything, but I'm just coming with them. Like, yo, my shore's gonna pull up, like, she might bring a friend. You know, yeah. It's like light in the mood. You know what you mean?

Some bitches that's not like their bitches. Very different, right? Then, I'm bringing fast food. I think this is honestly, honestly, the bitchest part is a joke. The fast food part, I'm so serious. I'm bringing fast food. And I'm gonna eat it. I'm gonna, then I'm gonna throw them the rest of the fast food.

Hear me out. I think once they taste food with like seasoning and chemicals and all that shit, they'll be like, we can't kill this guy because we have to get more of that. What would you bring? I bring like McDonald's, nigga? Come on. No, I go chick-fil-A. I go chick-fil-A. Fucking Mickey Dickies, bro. No, no, no, no, no. I bring him, I bring him a chick-fil-a.

I bring him the one, a chick-flee sandwich, no pickles, and now I'm going to bring them strips, not the nuggets, got the nuggets. I think the nuggets are different meat, but the strips, and you give them unlimited honey mustard. Okay. Give them some Polynesian sauce. You got to bring the Polynesian sauce. They're probably like some weird subset of Polynesian people. Probably. Yeah, they might already be.

They may like, yo, we have, how'd y'all get this? Who gave this to you? And then they probably do, like, I'll probably do the honey mustard and then I think they'd be solid. Bro. Think about it, bro. They've been eating meat with no seasoning, raw.

Yeah. We're like, dog, you don't even taste this. Yeah. Taste this, dog. Yo, that's a good point. And I would just give them Wi-Fi. Give them Wi-Fi. Tribal Twitter.

That's what we need. We need native Twitter. Nigga, bring a phone. Yeah. Play a video. Fast food. Show them like an only fans girl. That's it.

And then... They just need to feel like, oh, there's better. We can't kill this guy because this guy brought us better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We have to get more better. They might worship you. Oh. They might make you like Jesus.

Bro, this is the... Why didn't they do this? No one wants God. They're over here bringing God. They're like, yeah, we already have God. We're here. They're like, we want fun. Yeah, we want.

in and out and hoars. We want in and out and then to go in and out. That's what we want. Yeah. That's crazy. That's actually not a bad idea. Bring some sexy dudes for the girls. Yo.

Fucking Magic Mike niggas? Yeah. Because like, yo, you bring someone roided up because a lot of these guys are like lean. Like they're kind of cut, but they're lean though. That's right. But you bring just like a diesel fucking running back. Yeah. Dick swinging.

Bro. Yeah, they're used to that. They probably, they probably want small dick. They probably do want small dicks. They're probably like, yo, come on man. We can't take this shit anymore. Yo, novelty is interesting. Novelty is interesting.

Bring me. You want variety. Bring me. That's what I'm bringing you. Exactly. Bring you, some food. Yeah. This is great.

I'm like, look how small this dick is. That's amazing. This is so novel. That'd be crazy. I am the food, bro. You'd be taking me like a ditty party. That'd be crazy. All right, let me, the agorri.

There's some of the practices that they do. Again, I'm not an expert in anthropology. This might be completely stereotypical. I just read this off Wikipedia. Okay, so come for them, not me. All right, I didn't do this. Basically, the agorri practice, one of the most bizarre and controversial ones,

is the ritual consumption of human flesh, a.k.a. cannibalism. They don't kill to obtain the flesh, according to them. Instead, they scavenge for bodies of those who have been not fully cremated, or in some cases, bodies that have washed the shore on the Ganges. That doesn't sound healthy at all.

This does not sound healthy. The consumption of human flesh is a way for them to break free from the illusion of the human body and by extension all material things. They're able to basically say that all material things have no true importance. For the agorri life and death

are two sides of the same coin and the body is just a vessel that houses the soul temporarily. By eating the dead, they seek to internalize this belief and conquer the fears of the physical world and death. With the exception of eating the dead, they sound really healthy and evolved as human beings.

Yeah, my is... They sound like very like... Like, stoic. You know, like, they kind of just like, look, I control my emotions. I don't... I'm not, you know, tempted by the outside world. I eat my cousin.

Like, it seems like all chill kind of vibes. They seem like bros to me. Yeah. So according to one of this guy, Rafaeli, he's a journalist that went down there and kind of was like covering them, this is what he encountered. And Ngori said Hu, who performed a bizarre and unsettling ritual? He covered himself in ashes from a human corpse and smeared them onto Raphaelie's face. To the agorri, this is a way of purifying Raphaelie, bringing him closer to death and

by extension to enlightenment. The said, Hu carried a human skull from which he drank alcohol, symbolizing his disregard for the worldly distinction between purity and impurity. In fact, the agorri are known to use human schools or capalas as bulls to eat and drink from during their rituals, further rejecting societal norms. Wow. They're also known to meditate atop corpses as their path to enlightenment. I knew these niggas meditated, bro.

Yeah, right? That's what I'm saying. On the one hand, it's like, yo, these guys are like, these are calm. Like, you know what I mean? Like, they're mentally clear. I kind of hope nobody fucks with these guys, bro. But on the other hand, they're also drinking out of school. So maybe, you know what I mean?

Yeah, but I mean, like, what's wrong with drinking out of a skull? Different strokes, different folks. Like, we eat... Different cup. We eat cows. I mean, it's not like the person's alive. They're eating out of the skull. It's like they don't have cups.

Yeah. Get them some cups. Bring cups. That is true, because we have so many things that we do that are, like, kind of, like, just eating animals. Kind of crazy. Eating tartar. Crazy. Tartar is literally just a cow, grind it up, not cooked or nothing, a little olive oil, some salt.

And we just like, oh, scrumptious. This is a French delicacy. We do all the crazy shit. bro. Sometimes it's so ironic to me that like if a fly gets in my food, I'm like, gross. There's a dead animal inside my... Dead animal. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like, that's funny. I can't eat, I can't eat this dead chicken because now there's a dead fly on the dead chicken. Like, what the fuck? Like, it's so hypocritical. But these people, they're not hypocrites. They're like, yo, we're going to drink out of skulls because, fuck. Meditating on top of a corpse?

Mm-hmm. This is a practice known as Shava Sanjana. It's different. I don't know. I don't hate it. I'm like, Who's to say we're handling our corpse is right? But like, low-key, like, you see people be like, yo, I cremated my uncle, I threw him in the ocean. How many times do you fucking, there's just like somebody's, you fucking, I don't know, you're in somebody's crib and their uncle's sitting on the cabinet. It's like, that's weird.

Yeah, it's pretty weird. But we think it's fine. We're like, oh, your uncle's in the kitchen. Let me tell you some gross shit. This is a story that I heard. This might be an urban legend, okay? But, like, I was thinking about it. I was like, yo, is this wrong?

Get this. Big fat guy. Gets liposuction. This is disgusting. Justin gets a bunch of fat removed. Now he's skinny, but he has all this leftover fat. Let's say he got the fat and cooked with it.

Is that unethical? Did he do this? Does he have done this? Apparently there's a guy that did it. I got to look it up, but apparently has a thing. He cooked with his own fat. Yeah. It's his fat.

You can do whatever he wants with it. No one died. It's his shit. It's weird. It's weird. But it's, how's that uneethical? I mean, he can do whatever he wants. He can't go to jail.

for that's his shit. Now what if? Let me take you a step further. Cuts off his own leg. Gets it sewed up. Doesn't die. Cooks his own leg and eats it. Is that unethical?

I don't know if it's unethical. Just weird as fuck. Can you be unethical towards yourself? Because it kind of is unethical, but it's himself. Yeah. So like, who cares? But also, like, should it be illegal? Should the government be like, yeah, you can't eat your own leg, bro?

I don't know So if these people You know Some people in Indonesia They exhumed their dead On the day of the dead And they like kind of You know

Not like they bring them through like a parade In the town To like honor their dead We see that is pretty crazy These people They did that with Biggie's body Like what? Yeah

They fucking you know They paraded Biggie's casket Through Beds die I didn't know that Yeah yeah When Biggie died Like they did like Uh

Like his funeral service Like they Paraded the Casket it through beds die and like everybody in Brooklyn was outside screaming and stuff. Oh wow. Yeah. So we're not that different. Yeah.

If they're murdering that's bad. But if they're just people that die in the community, who knows? By living amongst the dead in eating the remains of the deceased and using the bones as ornaments and tool, the agorri aimed to immerse themselves in death, believing that by doing so, they will achieve higher states of spiritual consciousness. Despite the terrifying nature, the agorriorio paradoxically revered by some in Indian society, many believe they have extraordinary powers, including the ability to heal diseases and remove curses. Some rural villagers, although fearful of the agorri, approached them for blessings,

and convinced that their rituals in proximity to death grant them supernatural abilities. They claim, through their spiritual practices, they can absorb the ailments of others and heal them, using their connection to Shiva and the rejection of earthly pleasures to form acts of divine intervention. Wow. Crazy, right? Man, man, you know, man, sometimes, like, I think, like, oh, reincarnation is probably real. And I'm like, if it is, I'm trying to be.

be reincarnated into one of these niggas groups. Right? Yeah, bro. It's just like a simple life. But you might get flashbacks from your old life where you were just like... And be like, damn, I wish I could warm up a frozen pizza right now. I wish I could just go smoke hookah at Applebee's so, bro. Hookah at Applebee's.

Do you name your podcast episodes? Now I do. You should name this one hookah at Applebee. Probably you take it down. No, no, no, I think the people like it. This is the unofficial name of this here episode is hookah at Applebee's. It's pretty wild. I'll be honest, listening and hearing about these tribes, minus the whole, like, murder and stuff.

Seems pretty chill. They seem, like, decently well-adjusted for people who have no contact. Yeah, I mean? I'm telling you, dude, my dream is to go get a farm, upstate somewhere, get some chickens, get a bunch of kids, and just live off the land. Really? Oh, my God. What else is there? Wow.

What else is there to do? I would like to disappear on, like, for real. I think about that all the time. Like lately I've been thinking more and more about like leaving the country and I like I like I don't know like if I had money it's fucking like go live on some weird island or some shit like the world is big there's like places where you could just go chill especially if you have money yeah just fucking like relax have you traveled like that have you gone you gone like through Europe and stuff uh I went to Amsterdam doing stand up that was a vibe that's a vibe how was the show it's fine yeah it's fine the Dutch are a little

reserved their food is terrible that's the worst food I've ever had in my life Dutch food. I hated it. That's hilarious, bro, because it's like, yo, you colonize mad people, like, at least get some spices out of it. Bro, I think they colonized four spices. Right? Like, the whole, like, joint stock company out of the Netherlands was for that. Where to go? Where to go? Terrible food. I lost weight on that trip. I refused to eat. I was like, I'm not eating this.

Really? This is crazy. Because it wasn't just, like, a seasoning thing. It was, like, their textures. Their textures of food are, like, gross. I'm trying to think. You know, we like chewing on things. There shit is like much. What are some Dutch foods even? I don't even know if I could name like. Oh, it wasn't a cut.

Maybe dessert. Maybe dessert's good. Maybe. What about the Red Light District? You saw that? Went to the Red Light District. It was fine. It was cool. I was like, okay, I get it.

Kind of like the food. You're like, all right. Yeah, like you walk through and you're like, all right. It's different. It's different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like going to say, uh, we went to Columbia. That's probably fire.

Columbia's pretty fire. You went for stand-up, you went to Hank. Just a hang. That's cool. It's pretty fire. It's beautiful. Yeah. But I don't like going, I'm lazy, though.

I don't like going to places where, like, niggas don't know my language. I like talking too much. I'm like, oh, I can't talk to nobody here. Like, this sucks. Bro, loki, I think about that. If you had any, if you had one of these two superpowers, you can play any instrument in the world, you second you pick it up, you just know how to play beautifully. Or you could speak every language.

Take every language. That's how I feel. Without a doubt. Right? Because, like, I'm not even close. I love humans. I love connecting with humans. I think all people are fascinating, whether you're an indigenous person living in New Guinea,

or you're like just a white guy living in Appalachia. I'm fascinated by all humankind. And being able to communicate with everyone would be so cool. Oh my God. You ever see the video of the guy that speaks perfect Mandarin? He, like, lived in... Oh, the black dude. There's a black dude.

There's like a couple white guys on YouTube that, like, lived in Beijing for a while. Then they come back and they go to Chinese restaurants, and then they order in perfect Mandarin. Yeah, I see these videos all the time. And all of them are like, you know our thing. Yeah. How cool of a connection is that? Yeah. I see these old, like,

Chinese ladies walking around Chinatown, and I'm like, yo, if we could just chop it up? How... But you're inspiring me. I think my new hobby is about to be Duolingo. I think I'm about to try to learn

like every language possible in my lifetime. That bird's gonna fuck you up. Have you seen that bird? That Duolingo bird? No. You haven't seen this? I've never even used Duolingo.

I've never downloaded it and nothing. Duoingo's got this bird and they'll send you notifications like every day. And they're like, hey, if you don't do your, your duo lingo today, I'm gonna find you.

They've like leaned into this. You haven't seen this? It's hilarious. Duo Lingo's like marketing team. They're like, yo, if you don't, if you don't practice every day, like, we got problems. That's fun. Like, let me see you. Like, it's crazy.

So you might have to deal with that. Bro, yeah, man, every language. I mean, because that's the only thing I don't like about traveling. I don't like the fact I can't communicate with people. Yeah, and then you're constrained to only places to speak English. And then you kind of feel like a dickhead because like you go to Paris and you're like, hi, can I have a croissant? And they're like, ugh.

Like they can understand you, but they're a little bit like, all right. Yeah. You know what I mean? I feel bad being like, y'all, I'm coming to your shit. It's like when I meet British people here. I'm like, yeah, nigga, this is the language, but, ugh. I think that's just racism. I think you're just being like, I don't like British motherfuck.

But they do be wearing, like, fanny packs and, you know, cut off jorts. You ever notice that? Who, British people? Yeah. They're the worst. Something about British people. I'm just like, yuck. It is funny that you can spot a British dude, no matter how well he's blending in,

you can still spot and be like. Well, they smile. And you're like, ooh. That guy's British. Low-key, that is like a little colonial, like colonial remnant. You know what I mean? Like, oh, you came, you came to Jamaica. You came and, like, you know, took all of our shit, and you took all of our sugar cane.

And now y'all got fucked up teeth. That's right. That's kind of like the greatest get back. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Natural clapback of cavity. Yeah, exactly. Like, it always comes around.

Karma's a motherfucker. Maybe the agorri got it right. Eagle, I appreciate you so much, bro. This was really fun. Where can the people find you? If they want to, like, kick it with you, see you on the rows, so you do stand up. You're very funny.

Thank you. Eagle Witt official on Instagram. All right, bet. Yeah. You about to go do his little show right now? Me, I'm about to go to Hartford, Connecticut. Oh, hell yeah, dude. Yeah, it should be fine.

It'll be like Amsterdam. You know what I mean? Yeah, it'd be fine. It'll be fine. It'll be good. It'll be good. Thank you so much, bro. If you enjoyed this episode, if you enjoyed listening to, you know, crazy stories of

uncontacted people. Again, I know it's not politically correct, but it's what everyone, you know what I'm saying. From people from around the world, you should check out the episode I have dropping on Thursday. If you're listening to this a little late, it's probably already out. You can click it right here with Hazen, Odell. I have another episode with Mike Corey from Fearless and Far, a YouTuber who's absolutely amazing. He's super interesting. It has other amazing, fascinating stories from around the globe.

Get out there, travel, meet people, and embrace culture just because it's different than yours. Doesn't mean that it's wrong. It's just different. And always, don't get shot with arrows and cannibalize. See you guys next week. Peace. If you enjoyed this episode listening to me, explain uncontacted tribes with my dear friend Eagle, there's a lot of stuff that we didn't get into, a lot of really, really interesting research that we didn't have time to explain. So if you're curious, you would like to learn more and stay up to date with everything going on with the show.

I recommend you check out our inner sanctum. That's right. Smoor Camp, we're going to get weekly updates on everything that we're doing, all the cool stuff and information that we didn't get to include in the main episodes. And this is for the diehard fans, if you're just like, casual fan, feel free to skip. But if you are hardcore, you like being intent, and you like learning about crazy stories from around the world. Check it out in the description. Or if you want to keep on listening, there's another episode right here that I'm almost positive you're going to

love. So, check it out.