Camp Gagnon - Every Disciple’s Death EXPLAINED

Episode Date: February 9, 2025

THE 12 DISCIPLES' FINAL FATES! From crucifixion to exile, in this episode of Religion Camp we investigate the mysterious and often violent deaths of Jesus's closest followers. We're exploring both historical records and traditional accounts to uncover how each disciple met their end - from James the Greater's execution in Jerusalem to John's exile on Patmos, and the gruesome martyrdoms recorded in early Christian texts. What's fact and what's legend in these ancient accounts? We're diving into apocryphal sources, historical documents, and church traditions to piece together their final days. Welcome to Religion CAMP! 🏕️🏕️ FREE NEWSLETTER HERE: https://camp.beehiiv.com/TIMESTAMP: 0:00 ntro1:58 James The Greater09:11 Andrew17:28 Simon Peter25:21 Philip32:06 Matthew/Levi39:56 Apocryphal Texts of Matthew43:03 Thomas “Didymus”46:53 James The Lesser52:05 Bartholemew/Nathaniel56:55 John1:02:46 Thadeus/Jude1:05:21 Simon The Zealot1:11:22 Judas Iscariot1:19:53 Peace Be With You

How did all the disciples die? Andrew was the brother of Peter. He's got an absolutely brutal death coming up. Peter requested to be crucified upside down as he felt unworthy to die in the same manner of Jesus. Thomas, also known as Didimus. Some people actually suspect that he was the twin of Jesus Christ, and they thrust him with spears. Judas Ascarian. This guy sold out Jesus so that we could all be forgiven of our sins.

Andrew requested to be crucified on an X-shaped cross rather than the standard Roman cross. One element that you could point to as proof of the resurrection of Christ is that so many of his ardent followers were willing to literally die and rejoiced in their death because of what this guy did. Matthew, also known as Levi. He is a tax collector. No one likes him. Yet Jesus calls him and says the same old words, the two words that everyone knows, follow me. Matthew's like, hey, if you can promise me a spot in heaven, I'll quit my job right for a fuck now. The Pharisees and the teachers of the law who belonged to their sect complained.

Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners? Jesus answers them, it is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. What's up, people? Welcome back to Religion Camp. Yes, if this is your first time, welcome to all. This is my tent, and this is the place where I discussed the most fascinating, interesting, and controversial stories and riddles and different ideas from all religions from around the world, not just the true one, not just Christianity, but all of them.

That's right. And today I'm joined by my off-camera friend Miles McCreary. Yes, you know I'm from Flagrant. He has a microphone, but he's not currently visible just the way we like him. And today, we're going through a fascinating topic, something that I've wondered about for probably about two weeks. I'll be honest, it hasn't been a long time, okay? But I've actually been listening to Alex O'Connor, the great philosopher and sort of a religious YouTuber, you might say, atheist YouTuber perhaps, a better way to describe it, but he was describing the deaths of Simon Peter and many of Christ's disciples. And it got me wondering, hmm, how did all the disciples die? How did the close acolytes of Christ himself? How did they, how did they meet their demise? Turns out it wasn't great. Yeah,

most of them had pretty much a bad time, which, I mean, spoiler alert. Also, it's a 2,000-year-old story, so you probably should have been caught up by now. But you would think, oh, these guys, they're around Jesus, right? They're around the homie himself, one of the goats of all time. And they started, you know, the greatest religion. All right, I shouldn't say greatest. They started a religion that people really like. That's pretty chill.

And people seem to think that Jesus was a cool guy. And you would think just by that proximity, the life would be pretty good, right? Completely the opposite. Life pretty much sucks for just about all of them, and we are going to be breaking it down one by one. Shall we start? James the Grater. Yeah, that was his name. Not to be confused with James the lesser, which was actually the other guy.

There's a whole reason as to why some people don't believe it's due to like social status or hierarchy, but rather literal stature or age or some other type of distinguishing, you know, distinguishing feature. But this guy James Grater, he's the son of Zebedee and the brother of John, who we're going to mention a little later. James is often referred to as a part of Jesus's inner circle, which also includes Peter and John. This is the S-suite, you know what I mean if we're talking corporate. These are the guys of the disciples that are the chilling with Jesus, you know, the closest, one of his main homies. This position allowed James to witness key events in Jesus' ministry, such as the Transfiguration and the raising of Jairus's daughter. I don't know really how to pronounce the name Jaris. I've read this before, obviously, in Sunday school, and you would think at this point I would have an understanding, but it's just the name I've always read.

I'm now trying to listen to a pronunciation, and I think this is... There's no way that you're getting pronunciations from what's... Sounds like maybe a Chinese dude. Right? Like, I mean, I guess it's on me for Googling. How do I pronounce Jirus as a Chinese guy speaking English? Which gave me the exact result I was looking for. But let's see how it's supposed to be pronounced, shall we?

With a combination of miracles of Jiris, British Street. Jiris. All right. Turns out I was pronouncing it right. I'm being racist. Anyway, he raises Jiris' daughter from the dead. Now, Following Jesus' resurrection and ascension, James plays a central role in the spread of Christianity, right? While the Bible provides, you know, not all the details as far as his missionary activities and tradition

and the early Christian writings suggest that James preached in Jerusalem and possibly traveled as far as Spain. That's right. He went to Abitha. Try to find a nice beach just to chill on. Listen to Tiesto. Spanish tradition holds that James introduced Christianity to the Iberian Peninsula, causing him to be venerated as the patron saint of Spain. It is weird to think. Like, James, I associate, is like a very, I don't know, it's like a white name to me. It's like a very much like an Irish or like an English name, like King James, right? But if you think about it all the way back, it starts as like a Jewish name.

That's like an OG Jew name. And then goes on to being, that's a Spanish name. Hamas, right? I guess that's where that comes from. So James' death is one of only two. Two deaths of disciples explicitly recorded in the New Testament. That's right. We got the facts right in the good book.

Acts 12, 1 and 2 states, it was about this time that King Herod arrested some who belonged to the church intending to persecute them. He had James, the brother of John, put to death with the sword. So, there you have it. No speculating needed on that one. Seems like King Herod just had his way. This passage indicates that James was executed by beheading

under the orders of King Herod. Agrippa first. the main King Herod Agrippa, the first, the guy that kicked off the whole King Herod Agrippa vibe. Around AD 44, his death marked the first martyrdom among the apostles and underscored the growing hostility faced by the early Christianity's. Not a good time. Early church fathers and historians such as Clement of Alexandria and Isabius provide additional insight into James's death. Clement recounts a story in which a man who accused James was so much. moved by his faith and courage that he converted to Christianity and was executed alongside

the apostle. I mean, that's a tough time to convert, right? You're like, man, if only I converted like a week earlier, I wouldn't have been also killed. While this account can't necessarily be verified, it reflects the impact of James' testimony, even in the face of death. The location of James' death being in Jerusalem is also significant as it highlights the challenges faced by the early church, right in the birthplace, right in the spot where it all begins. The persecution under Herod, who's a part of a broader effort to suppress the Christian movement or the early Christian movement, obviously we understand Herod and the Bible is trying to get old Jesus off rip. So this has been seen, you know, as a threat both to Jewish religious authority, but also to the Roman political structure of the time that's sort of in control of Greater Judea. So James' execution likely aimed to, I guess you would say, intimidate other Christians and basically stop the other leaders and the other followers of Christ in his message.

But unfortunately, you can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea. This is the issue with martyrdom is the whole thing, right? Because you don't actually stop the idea. You just actually make people more ardent followers. So many people converted after witnessing the execution. Yeah. The veneration of James the greater has endured for centuries, particularly in Spain, where he's known as Santiago. My bad, I said Hamas.

Turns out Santiago is really, did you know that Santiago is Spanish for James? No, but James comes from Jacob. I don't even, now we're completely, I don't even know what to believe anymore. James comes from Jacob, like the name? Yeah, like all the J.A. names originally in Hebrew were Yaacup. And so James is like a version of Jacob? Yeah. I don't believe that.

The pilgrimage route known as the Camino di Santiago literally means the way of St. James. This leads to the Cathedral of Santiago di Compostela in Galicia. And this is where the relics of St. James are believed to be held. What's crazy about his relics is that they're said to have been miraculously transported to this cathedral after his death, making the cathedral a major pilgrimage site that continues to draw thousands of people each year. Imagine this. You're 30 feet underground, digging through frozen earth with spoons and mess hall plates. Nazi guards patrol overhead.

One wrong move, one loose pebble, and it's over. But on this night in 1944, 76 Allied prisoners would attempt the impossible, tunneling their way to freedom in the largest prisoner of war escape of World War II. And centuries earlier, in a cold stone chamber, a teenage girl in armor stood before, her accusers, her crime, leading armies speaking to angels, and daring to challenge the most powerful men in Europe. Joan of Arc's trial would become one of history's most infamous moments. These are just two stories from today and history, the newsletter that brings you the most fascinating events from the past delivered fresh to your inbox. From epic wars to

religious rebellions, ancient mysteries to modern marvels, don't miss another piece of history. Scan the QR code now or click the link in the description to to sign up for today in history. And then Andrew is the next one to go. That's right. His name means manly or brave. Andrew was the brother of Peter, who we're going to mention later. He's got an absolutely brutal death coming up. He was one of Jesus' first disciples and played a crucial role in the early spread of Christianity. He was born in Bethesadia, Bethsaida, and was a fisherman by trade. But he was initially a disciple of John the Baptist. Yes, the wild man himself. However, his life changed profoundly when John pointed to Jesus and said,

Look, Lamb of God, causing Andrew to follow Jesus. So, in John 1, 35 to 40, he says, when the two disciples heard him say this, they follow Jesus, turning around, Jesus saw them. And he asked what do you want? They said, Rabbi, where are you staying? And he says, come, and you'll see. So then they went and saw where he was staying, and they spent the day with him. It was about four in the afternoon. Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, was one of the two who heard.

what John had said and who had followed Jesus. So there you go. That's when he became a follower. And the Bible doesn't explicitly state who the other disciple is that was with Andrew at the time. I think that they would have thrown that in there. But many scholars believe it was John, the son of Zebedee, who, as we mentioned earlier, was James's brother. It gets a little confusing, but just track with me here.

Andrew's super stoked on Jesus. And, you know, he loves John's message. So you can imagine he loves Jesus' message even more. and yeah he's immediately brought he immediately brings Peter in to meet the Messiah he's like dude you're not going to believe who I'd kicked it with today the Messiah the homie the main dog and this act of introducing Peter to Jesus reflects Andrew's role

as the connector and the evangelist within the early church that off rip he's like dude I'm getting the whole family involved so after Jesus goes to heaven Andrew embarks on a missionary journey to spread the gospel historical and traditional accounts indicate that he preach in regions such as Greece, Scythia, and Asia Minor, aka Ukraine and like southern Russia and parts of Turkey. Ezebius, an early church historian, mentions Andrew's work in Scythia, where he's believed to have introduced Christianity to local populations.

He's also mentioned in the Greek traditions, proving that Andrew's Christian teachings extended all the way to the cities of Petrus and Byzantium, which later becomes Constantinople, you know, the hub of Christianity within the Holy Roman Empire. While in Patras, Andrew's preaching led to the conversion of many, including the wife of a local pro-consul named Aegeus. Now, this part is, you know, a little off the record, perhaps, is a little apocryphal, but the story comes from the Acts of Andrew, which is a non-canonical book in the Bible, so some people dispute the verisimilitude or the truthfulness of the actual text, but the details of the account sort of explain Andrew's death. Andrew is said to have traveled to

the region of Patras and preach the gospel. But his message captivates Maximilia, the wife of Aegeus. She then decides to embrace Christianity and live her life as a virgin. And guess who is pissed about this? That's right. The old ball and chain. The old blue balls and chain back home. Her husband is pissed and orders Andrew's execution by crucifixion.

That's tough. Oof. I mean, that's brutal. I mean, you got to wonder, like, I feel like Jesus didn't talk that much about, you know, if you're married being a virgin again. Also, she can't be a virgin if she's already married, right? I figure if she's a virgin, or if she's married, she's not a virgin. So I guess this is like when girls will do, like, the recycled virginity thing. She's like, I'm a virgin now.

It's like, you got dog down your wedding night. No, no, no, but now, yeah, all right. Just seems a little convenient. and then you get this guy killed. I swear if she's stopped at this point, she's the biggest bitch of all time. Right? Like she gets this guy killed and then out of nowhere.

She's like, no, no, no, I'm actually, I'm not. I was never a Christian. I was just joking around. That's wild. I mean, yeah, it just goes to show. If you're going to convert someone to Christianity, don't make him a virgin on top of that. I mean, that's wild.

So how to Andrew Day? He converts this girl who's married to the guy to Christianity. Yeah. And then she becomes a virgin, or celibate rather. Yeah. And then the guy who's like a pro-consul, like high up in the government, gets him killed and crucifies him. Oh, wow. All right.

So the first one was also, how would the first guy die? Beheading. Beheading. Okay. Yeah. This is like King Henry's wives. Got it. Beheading first.

Beheaded, crucified, survived. Got it. The type of vibe. But according to this tradition, Andrew, requested be crucified on an X-shaped cross. Rather than the standard Roman cross, he felt unworthy to die in the same manner as Jesus Christ.

This distinct cross is now known as St. Andrew's cross and has become an iconic symbol associated with him. But Andrew's story doesn't stop there. Uh-uh. He continued to preach his message while still on the cross. In the acts of Andrew, he's quoted as saying, Oh, cross, most welcome and long anticipated, I come to you with a willing and joyful heart.

Receive me the disciple of him who hung upon you, for I've always loved you and desired to embrace you. Damn, that shit is kind of hardcore to be honest with you, bro. Imagine you see a guy get crucified and you're like, oh, man, this guy fucked up. And he's like, oh, I love the cross. I'm so grateful to be embraced by this wooden cross that I'm getting my hands like nailed into.

That's insane. as he hangs on the cross a crowd of witnesses were there to watch him and so he began to talk to the witnesses and goes men and women who are here present and witness my suffering do not think of this punishment as a cruel end it is not a punishment to die for christ but rather a gateway to eternal life according to the book the crowd is moved by andrew's faith end words and said this man is righteous why does he suffer such torment release him for he has done nothing wrong and obviously the guards and the you know, consul of the region of Greece for sure listen to some random people. They don't. Andrew then begins to pray and beg God to allow him to die, saying, Lord Jesus Christ, do not allow me to be taken down from this cross alive. Let me join you in glory for you have allowed me to share in your suffering. Here we can see that Andrew is thankful and practically finds it to be an honor to die in

the same way as Jesus. It said that he took his final breaths. Andrew said, receive me, O Lord, my shepherd, so that I may rejoice eternally in your presence. I mean, that's hardcore, to be honest with you. Again, I brought up Alex O'Connor before. Shout out to him. And he made a reference that it is used by many, I guess you could say religious or Christian theologians, in support of this account of Christ's death and resurrection.

That one element that you could point to as pre-examination, that one element that you could point to as proof of the resurrection of Christ is that so many of his ardent followers were willing to literally die and rejoiced in their death because of what this guy did. So it kind of leads credence to perhaps there was something supernatural or interesting happening. I'm shocked at how stoked Andrew is to have died allegedly. I mean, that's like an insane story. Archaeological and historical evidence support some of the elements of Andrew's story. And Petrus, the cathedral of St. Andrew in Petra, stands as a testament to his legacy. People from all around the world visit the site every year.

And it's even believed to house relics of the apostle, including a portion of the cross he was crucified on. But that's not all it is said to hold. The church even has what is believed to be a part of St. Andrew's skull in one of his fingers. So there you have it. Now let's go on to Peter, also known as Simon Peter, which is a whole, there's a whole name change thing that goes. on here, which I shall explain. This guy, Peter, right, holds a foundational place in Christian history. He's one of Jesus' closest homies. He's like the leader, basically, of the apostles. He's also, he denies Jesus three times. But, you know, why do we got to dwell on old shit, right?

He's, again, born in Beth Seda, just like his brother Andrew. It's like a small little fishing village on the shores of the Sea of Galilee. Ever heard of it? The Bible says that Peter was a fisherman by trade, but his life took a dramatic turn when he was called by Jesus to become his follower. We can look to the gospel of Matthew, which it says, come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men. Peter's impulsive and passionate nature often place him at the forefront of the disciples. He was instrumental in many key events recorded in the Gospels. For instance, Peters famously remembered for declaring Jesus as the Messiah to which Jesus responds, you are Peter and on this rock I will build my church.

It's a pretty solid trade. Hey, you're the Messiah. Oh, hey, you get to be the first pope. It's pretty chill. And fun fact, Peter actually comes directly from the Greek word Petros, which means rock or stone. So again, the reference in the translation of the New Testament makes sense. It's like, yo, you're Peter, you're Petros, you're the rock.

I'm building my church on this rock. So this is not Simon the zealous. I don't know if I'd call him a zealot. But isn't there another one named Simon? I think so. Let's find out. According to this, Simon the zealot is not the same as Simon Peter. Both are named Simon in the Bible. Simon DeZellate is a distinct disciple of Jesus differentiating from Simon Peter by the additional title, The Zealot.

So that's who Peter is. And then after Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection, Peter begins to emerge as a pivotal leader in the early church, kind of kind of following through on Jesus' whole thing are going to become a fisher of men which is sort of a funny little I mean it's kind of linguistically it's crazy I wonder if does it work

in Greek the same way? Like you're not going to be a fisherman that's like a Jay Z lyric I'm not a fisherman I'm a fisher of man you know what I mean? But like what are the odds of that works in English and Greek can we figure that out?

So what does Peter do? He's a missionary. He starts going around Jerusalem where he's talking about Jesus, you know, a guy that just got murdered by the people of the region. And he's facing persecution from some of the Jewish authorities. Acts 2 14 through 41 recounts Peter's powerful sermon during Pentecost, which led to the conversion of about 3,000 people. Yeah. On the day of Pentecost, the apostles were filled with the Holy Spirit. And the Bible says, suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from the heavens, filled the whole house where they were sitting. Then they saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them.

All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them. The tongues in this sense means that they were able to speak different languages potentially so that they could spread the Word of God to other people. Other people suggest that maybe they were speaking in an unknown language and they were possessed by the power of the Spirit. It kind of depends on what church in the south you go to. Once this happens, the people of the city heard their language being spoken and came to see what was going on. Some of the people were intrigued while they were just drunk and rambling. But the Bible states that then Peter stood up with the 11, raised his voice and addressed the crowd. Fellow Jews and all of you who live in Jerusalem, which is how I'm going to be addressing just anyone ever again.

Fellow Jews. Hello, Jews. Let me explain this to you. Listen carefully to what I say. I mean, the Bible is just fire. Let me just translate that first sentence. What's up, Jews? Listen and listen close, all right? These people are not drunk, as you guys are all saying. It's only 9 in the morning.

They're not going to be dramatic. What are we Irish? We're Jews. We're not going to be drinking that early. We're going to get a tummy ache and have a headache by fucking noon. And no, this is what was spoken by the prophet Joel. Then Peter goes on to explain the prophecy of Joel. In the last days, God will say, I'll pour my spirit into the people, everyone's going to see visions, and there's going to be prophecy, old men will dream dreams, yada, yada, yada, there's going to be fire.

It's a whole thing, all right? This marks the beginning of a rapidly growing church movement, and Peter is kind of on the forefront of evangelizing all the people in Antioch, which is, you know, a major center of early Christianity. But historical records and the church tradition assert that Peter spent his final years in Rome. That's right. Rome is not a great place to be if you're a Christian right after the death of Jesus. So you can imagine. It's controlled, obviously, by a strong military presence. At this point, there is an emperor that has taken over the Republic of Rome no longer stands and is ruled by a strict military force. The emperor is deified in certain ways as a god. And it's, you know, if you're coming in there saying that, oh, you're not the god, you know, and all of this pantheon of all of your polytheistic gods,

those aren't gods either. It's only one true God, and his name is Jesus, and he got murdered in Judea a couple decades ago. It's not going to be a popular opinion. So, his life in Rome is documented by an early church father, a couple of them, Ignatius of Antioch and Clement of Rome. Tortullian, a prominent theologian of the second century, explicitly mentions Peter's death in his work, prescription against her. That's a nice prescription. If you ever made a heretic, toss him that book. And he says, At Rome, Nero was the first who stained with blood the rising faith. Then is Peter Gert by another when he is made fast to the cross. So there you have it. Another one down. Beheaded, crucified on

an ex, and then crucified, but this time upside down. That's right. We can see from this that Peter was crucified under Nero. And according to tradition, Peter requested to be crucified upside down as he felt unworthy to die in the same manner of Jesus, just like his brother did. Shout out to Andrew. This extraordinary act of humility has been immortalized in Christian art and literature for a while. Again, archaeological evidence continues to support Peter's connection to Rome.

The Vatican necropolis beneath St. Peter's Basilica contains a tomb believed to house Peter's remains, but it wasn't until 1950 when Pope Pius the 12th announced in his Christmas radio messages that the tomb of St. Peter had officially been found. The tomb's inscriptions and artifacts align with early Christian veneration of Peter's burial site, giving legitimacy to the claims. But the tomb isn't the only thing related to Peter at the spot. It's believed that his skull is on display at the Archbasilica of St. John Letharan, including the skull of St. Paul. while these skulls haven't been scientifically proven to belong to saints, they're sort of honored and venerated by many Catholics as if they were.

So there you have it. If you ever see an upside-down cross, it might not necessarily be only satanic, as many people like to point out. You might just be a hardcore Christian, but maybe the hardest core. Maybe you're like, I'm not even comfortable venerating Christ because he's so deified.

He's so pure and so divine. I'd rather, you know, have Peter's cross. It's interesting. All right, let's move on to Philip. Spelled with 1L, which annoys me. I don't like, it just seems, visually it just bothers me, Philip with 1L. But he's one of the 12 apostles, and he holds a significant place in the early Christian narrative is one of Jesus' first followers.

It's just so funny to me that all of Jesus' followers have such, like, normal names. Because they're normal to us. Like, you know people named James and you know people named Philip. You know Andrews. He was like, you know, the whole litany of the apostles. But when you think about it, like, these are ancient names. Like, it's like as ancient as Zebedee or Bethsaida. You just don't know people named those names.

I never met a Zebby who wasn't just a big pot smoker. You know Zeb. You met that you know so named Zebby? Yeah, one in my high school and one of my middle school. Zeb. They were like skater kids who always smoked weed. They're white kids? Yeah.

Zebedee. Yeah. They're not running backs for like Alabama? No. Too late kids. I'm shocked by this. So I knew a couple of Phillips, though. Again, one of Jesus' first followers,

also born in Bethsaida, same city as Peter and Andrew. Big town for being one of the OG Jesus freaks. Shout out to them. Philip's calling is described in the Gospel of John, where it says, the next day Jesus decided to leave for Galilee, finding Philip.

He said to him, follow me. It was easy to get followers back in the day. Right? Jesus just pulls up and goes, follow me bang best friends for life that's awesome philip then found nathaniel and told him we have found the one moses wrote about in the law and about whom the prophets also wrote jesus of nazareth the son of joseph nazareth can anything good come from there crazy diss from nathaniel right i mean that's that's hilarious it'd be the equivalent of being like dude we found the messiah

The one people have been talking about, Jesus of Hoboken. Everyone's like, what? What has come from Hoboken? Sorry, Jersey. But it is a funny concept of that Nathaniel's like dissing an entire region. He's like a local comic. Nazareth. Wouldn't be caught dead in Nazareth.

They have potholes. But Philip says, how would you just pull up and just see it for yourself? Jesus had personally invited Philip to follow him. And in turn, Philip brought Nathaniel, who was also known as Bartholome. We'll talk more about him later. Following Jesus' resurrection and ascension, Philip took on the mission of preaching the gospel in distant lands. Historical and apocryphal sources indicate that Philip traveled extensively, focusing much of his missionary work in the regions of Phrygia and Heropolis, located in a modern-day Turkey. Heropolis, in particular, becomes a significant site of Philip's ministry where he reportedly performs miracles and converts many to Christianity.

See, it's pretty chill. Kick it with Jesus for a while, and then you start going on tour. You're hitting the road. Living like a real comic life. According to church tradition, Philip's preaching often brought him in a conflict with pagan practices and authorities. Again, this whole idea of monotheism is, you know, pretty crazy if you're, you know, a pagan follower of the dark arts. So what makes Philip interesting is that his martyrdom is actually like a key element of his legacy. while the details of his death vary between, you know, which primary sources you're reading, the most widely accepted account suggests that Philip was crucified or stone to death in Heropolis. I feel like we probably could have seen that coming, right? I mean, we're three out of four on crucifixions.

The apocryphal book Acts of Philip, which again is not included in the traditional canon, but can be looked at to understand the idea of the early church at the time. It's a fourth century text that provides a detailed narrative of his martyrdom. It describes Philip's opposition to the worship of idols, which ultimately leads to his arrest and execution. Chapter 34 of the acts of Philip state, when the pro-consul saw that Philip was firm and would not obey his orders to sacrifice to the idols, he commanded that he should be hanged downward and his ankles and thighs pierced with iron hooks. Not ideal. But once again, crucified. It seems to be upside down, hanging head downward.

While on the cross, Philip began to pray. He says, again, according to the acts of Philip, Philip cries out in a loud voice saying, O Lord Jesus Christ, the light of my soul, the brightness of my life in whom I have believed, whom I have loved, in whom I dwell. Do not leave me alone, but send your angel to receive my soul and bring me into your kingdom. As Philip prayed, there was a great earthquake, and the earth split open, swallowing up the pro-consul, and anyone who had crucified him. But Philip still hanging, commended his spirit to the Lord and gave up his soul in peace. And the heavens opened.

And they saw the glory of God and the angels descended to receive the soul of Philip, who is taken up to the eternal light of the Lord. I mean, that's awesome. Right? The people that crucify you immediately get swallowed up in the earth by an earthquake. But if we're going to do anything, we don't got to kill those guys. Just maybe get me off this cross. That would have been wish number one from your boy.

I would just been like, hey, we can call fair fair. I came in, messed up their whole religious tradition. I was trying to save them. But I was messing around with what they were doing. And then they tried to kill me. How about we just get me off the cross? I'll kick it back to Mekanos or something. I'll chill on the beach for a while.

Talk about religion there. Spread the gospel. you know, near some open water. And then we don't got to kill, you know what I mean? Like, it just seems like you do this whole earthquake thing just to kill the people. But I guess, I don't know, maybe going to heaven is like the ultimate prize. So maybe that's really what he wanted. Like kill me, kill them.

And I bet you they both get to the afterworld together. And one's going upstairs and one's going downstairs. And they're like, oh, fuck. This whole thing is real. Damn it. And again, at this spot, Heropolis, there is. some archaeological evidence that is typically venerated and supported the martyrdom of Philip and kind of cemented his legacy. Excavations have uncovered a fifth century martyrdom believed to be

dedicated to Philip. The structure is located near the ancient city's theater and is thought to mark the site of his execution and burial. The martyrdom's significance as a pilgrimage destination underscores Phillips' enduring influence on Christian history. All right, let's talk about Matthew, shall we? Matthew, also known as Levi. He's a ten. tax collector before he became one of Jesus's disciples, one of his main homies. His profession was often associated with corruption and collaboration with the Roman authorities, making him an unlikely candidate to become a disciple. Like, people hated the tax collectors. These guys were scumbags. I mean, they're kind of scumbags now, to be honest. It's not like

people love the IRS, right? Miles and Don on his head. You are, Miles and not as, dude, you're Republican. Taxation is theft. Am I right, Miles? Am I right? What are the odds that even back then people hated taxes? Is that not weird to you? That all 2,000 years ago, people were like, yeah, fuck the tax man. Yeah, I think they were probably out of hand and levied by a king. Here we are. Yeah. So? But also they had good roads. They had better roads than us. Yeah. Think about that. That's true. And we're paying more in taxes than they are. And we can't even get a road that'll last more than two decades. Yeah, I wonder what the percentage was.

Their roads work perfectly. Yeah. And they all lead to the same place. Yeah, that is true. They did a great grid system. Right? And we're trying to keep our roads going for a week, and there's a pothole. It's like insane.

Anyway, taxation without representation. Yada, yada, yada. You got what I'm saying. So, he is a tax elector. No one likes him. Yet Jesus calls him and says, the same old words, the two words that everyone knows, follow me. Matthew immediately leaves his position. I mean, it's basically Wolf Wall Street. Matthew's like, hey, if you can promise me a spot in

heaven, I'll quit my job right for fucking now. He shows him a receipt. He's like, boss, I'll quit. I'm not a tax collector anymore. I'm following Jesus. So Matthew leaves his position, and he hosts a banquet for Jesus and other tax collectors to hear his teaching, a seminar, so to speak. Matthew's depicted as having some form of, uh, this is honestly wild. If you've seen the Chosen, the TV show, some people depict Matthew as having autism in the series The Chosen. And many people have gained a deeper respect for him, considering his challenges that he may have faced in ancient times being tised out.

I don't know where this comes from. There's no evidence for that even being true. They just put it in the show. They just in the show, look it up, in the Chosen. They said Matthew is tizzed out. some people have come to this conclusion due to the fact that he's good with numbers and has a fascination with numbers

I mean, did you look it up? Yeah. And? There's no like, there's no biblical standing for him having autism. But in the chosen, he's autistic, right? Yeah, in a 2021 article, it says, Matthew reminds us that Jesus even calls the disabled to lead and uniquely participate in his mission.

I wouldn't say they're disabled, but Jesus said it, his words, not mine. By the way, that is Miles, if anyone's just tuning in midway through this podcast. So let's drop an F. Miles on the chat. So, yeah, Matthew's story begins after Jesus heals a man who's paralyzed. Luke, Chapter 5 states, after this, Jesus went out and saw a tax collector by the name of Levi, sitting in his tax booth. Jesus pulls up, says, yo, hop in. We're going to save the world.

Levi got up, left everything, followed him. Then they go to this banquet, and there's a large crowd of tax collectors who are eating with them, but the Pharisees and the teachers of the law who belonged to their sect complained to the disciples. Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners? So honestly, a good question. Yo, Jesus, why are you hanging with these scumbags? Jesus answers them, it is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

So just remember that If your wife's ever like, why are you at the strip club? Be like, hey, babe, it's not the healthy you need a doctor. It's not the women with dads that need a daddy. You know what I mean? Wait, what? Yeah, you got what I'm saying.

Just saying, if you need to, those are the words of Christ himself. A true bar. I mean, it's regardless of if you think Jesus is Lord, like there's many people probably listen to this, Miles himself, the apostates of the church, that don't necessarily see Jesus as the true mess. Messiah. You got to acknowledge the guy has insane bars. It just like the message is like impeccable

and is just all one of the all-time chillest bros ever. At the very least, you got to give me that. So this act of, you know, meeting all the Pharisees at this big banquet leads the beginning of the transformative journey for Matthew, aka Levi, as one of the apostles. After Jesus's resurrection and ascension, Matthew dedicates his life to spread in the gospel, much like all the other ones. He goes all around, but Matthew's story gets a little crazy. Early church tradition suggests that he traveled extensively preaching in regions such as Ethiopia, Persia, and possibly parts of the Mediterranean. I don't know how they drew straws for this, but if you tell me, hey, you're going to Ethiopia, I'm like, are you sure there's nothing in the Mediterranean? I feel like a Malfi could

really use the word of Jesus Christ. But that's what he did. Ethiopia, Persia, and the Mediterranean. His missionary work focused on converting both Jews and Gentiles, emphasizing the universality of Jesus' message. Historical accounts attribute several miracles to Matthew, including healing and exorcisms, which helped establish Christianity in the region, which he ministered. But the miracles are for another episode. This is for, unfortunately, the demise. Oh, so tax collectors back in the day, just looked this up, we're like crooked. Yeah, they were stealing. They would go and be like, hey, you owe a thousand dollars. Then they'd be like, oh, here you go, but they actually owed $700.

They were just pocketing extra money. Got it, got it, got it, got it. Because there was no rule system. Yeah. They would just show up, be like, hey, here's what you owe. Yeah. And it's signed by this guy, and if you don't, we'll come. Okay.

And we'll murder you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they'll say, I'll be like, hey, this guy wouldn't give me the $700. And they go, you said it was $1,000. God. That's why it was wild Jesus was hanging with him. Yeah. This guy was, like, crooked for a long time, probably, like, caused.

The worst. It'd be like hanging with like a cop, like a racket. comes back, he's going to be kicking it with old, you know, Tommy Riggetoni. Yeah. You know what? You're going to be with the worst of the worst. Interesting. Because in my head, I was like, why are people mad Jesus hanging with like a suit?

Like just like a, you know, an IRS suit? You don't think this happens? Anyway, we're going to get political. Look, what happens with Matthew? Okay? In a secret CIA facility, doctors administered mysterious substances to unwitting Americans. Their goal? Mind control.

The year was 1970. and as agents frantically burned, thousands of documents, Project M.K. Ultra's darkest secrets nearly vanished into smoke. Now, step back to Friday the 13th, 1314. The Grandmaster of History's most powerful military order kneels before the flames.

As the fire rises, Jacques de Mollet, last leader of the Knights Templar, utters a curse so chilling that when both the French king and Pope die within the year, whispers of dark prophecy spread across Europe. Now, these aren't crazy conspiracy theories or something you read and, you know, some fan fiction. These are real historical events you'll discover in today and history,

the newsletter that uncovers the strange, shocking, and sublime moments that shape our world. Get your daily dose of mind-bending history. Scan the QR code or click the link below to join Today in History. According to Ethiopian tradition, he was stabbed to death while performing missionary work. It's just such a shame None of these guys make it just to retire I don't know really what the pension system is

for being one of the early church fathers But yeah We're I think six for six right now On just getting murked Shout out to Matthew man Pourman out If you're listening to home Just pour him out for one of the homies

These accounts suggest that his preaching and miracles Provoked opposition from local authorities And religious leaders of course As they do everywhere leading to his arrest execution. Although the specifics of his death are not detailed in canonical texts, there are some texts that do depict his death. This is a Coptic text known as the Martyrdom of Matthew. What is that about? That is a cooking book. No, it's obviously about Matthew's death. It's an apocryphal text. Again, when I say apocryphal, I don't mean that it's necessarily wrong or historically inaccurate.

I just mean that it's not included in the original canon as it was sort of set up at the Council of Nicaea in the main books that we sort of acknowledge are, you know, true and divinely inspired. They are just other historical books, which, again, can be looked at to give us an idea of what the early church believed and maybe even draw some type of, you know, try to be able to draw some type of connection between the gospel text or the canonical text to draw some type of inference as to what is actually true. So according to the Mardom of Matthew, Matthew is martyred in Ethiopia after confronting a king who had taken a wife unlawfully.

The king orders Matthew's death after he refuses to renounce his faith. The text describes a dramatic sequence of events, including Matthew's prayer before his execution. The prayer goes as follows. And as the executioner's approach, Matthew lifted his eyes to heaven and said, quote,

Lord Jesus Christ, do not forsake your servant in this hour, but strengthen me to bear witness to your truth even unto death. I mean, just bars. These guys were just about that life. You got to respect it at a certain point, right?

Like, you meet a guy, you hang with him for four, five years, and then you go, I'm going to go around the world and preach the message of this man. And if people tell me to renounce it, I would rather die. You kind of got to respect it, dude. I mean, this guy, shout out to him. Again, there's also mentions of Matthew in other non-canonical works, such as the acts of Matthew, this text, Matthew was martyred by being staked to the ground and beheaded. I feel like similar to

being stabbed. But again, this aligns with later traditions of Matthew being killed for refusing to worship idols or condone immoral acts. Ethiopia in particular holds a special place in honoring Matthew's memory. Churches and communities in the region revere him as a founding figure of their Christian heritage. One of the most popular places associated with Matthew's ministry is the Ethiopian Orthodox Tahuahedo Church. which attracts programs from all of the world, underscoring his influence in the region. All right. Next, we got Thomas, also known as Didymus, which isn't really technically a name. His name just means twin. But the Bible never even really says who his twin was, or whether or not he was even a twin.

Some people actually suspect that he was the twin of Jesus Christ. Yeah, that's a whole different thing. I did an episode about the apocryphal books of the Bible, the Gospel of Thomas, which sort of of discusses this in greater detail. But again, Thomas Didymus, who was this guy? He's famously remembered as being doubting Thomas. Not a great, I mean, you'd rather be Simon the zealot, right, than doubting Thomas. He's basically the dude that doubted Jesus's resurrection, and Jesus showed up and was like, yo, I came back from the dead and Thomas was like, I don't believe it. However, because of this moment, you know, his later faith and dedication to spreading the gospel, cemented his place as a significant figure in Christian history.

Thomas's initial skepticism is documented in John, where he declares that he will not believe in Jesus' resurrection unless he can see and touch the wounds from his crucifixion. He does touch the wounds, and he's like, all right, my bad. So then Jesus ascends into heaven after his resurrection, and Thomas is believed to have traveled extensively to fulfill his missionary calling, much like the rest of the apostles. early Christian traditions say that he went to India. That's right. He made it all the way to India, making him one of the first apostles to take the gospel beyond Rome.

In the Acts of Thomas, which is again, another apocryphal text, not included in the Bible, provides a detailed, although not completely historically verified account of his journey to India. According to the text, Thomas arrives at the Malabar Coast, which is in Kerala today, and began his ministry by converting local communities. and including some people even in like upper ranking casts off the king, this guy, Ms. Deus. This king sees Thomas's influence as a threat to establish a religious tradition outside

of the power of the government at the time and orders his execution. The text says, quote, Ms. Deus, filled with rage, commanded his soldiers to seize Thomas and lead him to the mountain outside the city where they were to execute him. The story continues with the death

Thomas in which he is depicted as being killed by having spears thrust into him. That sucks. It says, quote, they let him out to the city, took him to a hill, and they thrust him with spears. I feel like I didn't need to read that twice. You got what I'm saying. So he basically gets stabbed and he lays there, and his last words are such a prayer to God, much like many of the other apostles we've looked at.

Lord, I commit my spirit to your hands. Do not let your word fail, but make it bear fruit in those who have not heard it. receive me now into your light where I may see you forever. It's beautiful. Again, another one of these apostles. After Thomas's death, the text recounts miraculous events that followed, such as conversion amongst those who witness his martyrdom and his tomb becoming a sight of veneration. But there are other accounts of the story in which Thomas is depicted as praying in a cave when soldiers come to him and then spear him while he's inside the cave.

And it's sort of strange that there's two different settings, but that the change, You know, some people think the change in setting is just perhaps the oral tradition kind of deviating slightly. And depending on where you lived, some people blamed the king and other people did not. Now Thomas's legacy lives on in India to this day, the Syrian Christian community in Kerala, known as the St. Thomas Christians, trace its origin all the way to his ministry. There are even ancient churches in the region, such as St. Thomas-Siro-Malabar church, which are dedicated to his memory to this day. All right, now it's time for James the lesser. That's right. We talked about James the Greater.

And now it's time for James, son of Alfeus. He's recognized as one of the original 12 apostles of Jesus. His description of the lesser isn't necessarily who he is or anything about his size. Not that size, but his physical height. And just mainly to distinguish him from James the Greater, another one of Jesus' disciples that we have already mentioned. Throughout the New Testament, There are, you know, a lot of descriptions and information about James the Lester's background, early Christian tradition, identifies him as a prominent leader in the Church of Jerusalem.

James plays a pivotal role in the formative years of the Christian faith, and he's also thought to be potentially related to Jesus. Again, look, as a Catholic, I don't really believe this, but some people believe that it was his brother. It says here at Mark 15, some women were watching from a distance. since among them were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James the Younger, and of Joseph and Salum. Again, some people believe that just means brother, but let Pilons be Pilons, right? Is that the quote? After Jesus' resurrection and ascension, James assumed a leadership position in the church

that served as an epicenter of early Christianity. He got to stay home court. Known for his respect and adherence to Jewish customs, James sought to, I guess you could say, bridge the gap between the Jewish and Gentile believers. In the book of Acts, it records his significant involvement in the Council of Jerusalem in which he advocates for, you know, Gentile inclusion in the church without the requirement of circumcision. Yeah. Shout out to old James the lesser. James the greater, if you ask me, he's like, yo, they can be in. They don't got to chop their dicks off. Shout out to him. James's leadership in Jerusalem placed him at a position of prominence. But it also exposed him to opposition from various factions. His unwavering commitment to the teachings of Jesus and his role in the early

church made him a target from religious authorities at the time. Early church historian Hedgesipus is quoted in Ezebus's ecclesiastical history. James's martyrdom occurred during a period of heightened tension between Christians and the Jewish leadership at the time. It begins by saying the scribes of Pharisees placed James upon the pinnacle of the temple and began to cry out to him and said, oh, you just one to whom all were ought to listen for as much as the people were led astray after Jesus the crucified one, declared to us, what is the door of Jesus? Then James responds, why do you ask me concerning Jesus, the son of man? He himself sits in heaven at the right hand of the great power and is about to come upon the clouds of heaven. at this point the scribes the pharisees began to cry out hosanna to the son of the of david hosanna means save us or worship

but the leaders responded oh just one is also an error and they fulfilled the scripture written in isaiah let us take away the just man because he is troublesome to us therefore they shall eat the fruit of their doing so they went up and threw down the just man let us stone james the just and they began to stone him for he was not killed by the fall, but he turned and knelt down and said, I beseech you, Lord God, our father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. So while they're stoning him to death, one of the priests of the son of the Rehcobites, known as the Jeho Nadav began to cry aloud, saying, cease what you're doing, the just one prays for you.

But then it states, one of them, who was a fuller, took a club, with which he beat out clothes and struck the just one in the head, and thus he suffered martyrdom. So, as you can see in the historical record, it describes James's death in pretty vivid detail, even recounting how he's thrown from the pinnacle of the temple, and he's not killed by the fall, and then his attackers stone him,

and he's not really killed by the stoning, and then they take a club for a rug, and then just, like, crack him in the head one time. and that series of events leads to his execution and again goes to show the early persecution that the church leaders were having at the time. James's martyrdom is believed to have occurred around like 62 AD during the high priesthood of Anunus. Yes.

Can we pull that name up, by the way? Can we get just a visual of what that looks like? Anunus, also pronounced N-anus. That is actually how it's. spelled A.N. A.N. U.S. What a good name for the guy that killed James, one of Jesus' main homies. Ananus. James' legacy as a leader and a martyr is still commemorated in Christian tradition. He's venerated as a saint, celebrated to be one of the early church homies and remembered for the lasting impact. And a matter of fact, the epistle of James reflects his deep

concern for the practical faith and moral integrity of the people. Now, let's move on to Bartholomew, a.k. Nathaniel. Now, this guy, we mentioned him earlier in Peter's story. He's one of the 12 apostles mentioned in the New Testament, and his introduction at Jesus is recorded in the Gospel of John, where we saw Philip say, yo, Nathaniel, come meet Jesus. And this is the guy that's like, yo, what's good in Hoboken? He's like, just come and check out the vibe.

After meeting Jesus and hearing him reveal intimate knowledge about his character, Nathaniel declares rabbi, you are the son of God. You are the king of Israel. This encounter reflects Bartholomew's honesty and openness to the truth, traits that would ultimately define his ministry. So then, when Jesus ascends in heaven, Bartholomew embarked on missionary journeys to spread the gospel. It is believed that he traveled extensively to Armenia, Mesopotamia, and India as well. However, his work in Armenia is particularly well documented as he is credited with helping to establish Christianity in the region. Armenian tradition regards Bartholome as one of the founding figures of their

Christian heritage. Now, Bartholomew's ministry in Armenia is both, you know, successful and staunchly opposed, as you can imagine, by many of the people there. Again, his life and sort of teaching to the pagan authorities of the region is denoted in the acts of Bartholomew, another apocryphal text. It said that he confronts a demon inhabiting an idol, and the demon confesses the power of Christ and pleads for mercy. Quote, I am one of the angels of Satan, who fell from the height, and I enticed the first man to eat the forbidden tree. Yes, we're talking about that one. The guy that tricked Adam and Eve, mostly tricked you.

Eve tricked Adam. Anyway, I made idols for men so that I might be glorified through them, but now I am tormented by the angels of God, bound with fiery chains and tortured. You chose wrong, stupid demon, right? You could have been kicking it with all the angels in heaven and having a great time, but instead, now you're in an idol, getting tortured by angels. Bartholomew then rebukes the demon and orders it to leave, leading to the destruction of the idol and the conversion of many.

Now, you would think this is great. Then the text describes Bartholomew's suffering and martyrdom, which was ordered by King Astagos after Bartholomew had made his brother Palmeus change his faith. That's right. Before his execution, Bartholomey prays for the people who believe in Christ and for his executioners. O Lord Jesus Christ, who has shown me the way of life, receive my spirit, and grant those who take up this testimony of your name may find eternal life. The text then says that the king, pissed off and angry, commanded that Bartholomew be beaten with rods. And after being flayed alive, he was beheaded and his body was buried by the faithful. Yeah, that's tough.

The brutal martyrdom underscores the intense persecution faced by early Christian. and missionaries. And if, you know, we're going to do an episode on some of the Aztec sacrifices, you'll understand being flayed alive is insane. It's like the most brutal way to die, maybe ever. They tear your skin from your body while you're alive, causing you to slowly and, you know, you basically bleed out. I don't even know, you die of shock. I don't even know how you die if you lose all your skin. Maybe the most painful way to die. And despite the gruesome nature of his death, Bartholomew, his commitment to spreading the gospel left an undeniable mark on the region that he evangelized. The acts of Bartholomew described his miraculous healing and exorcisms and many

other miracles that make him integral to the early church. Matter of fact, if you actually look up a lot of different sculptures and statues of Bartholome to this day, you'll actually see images of him holding his own skin. Whoa. It's pretty badass, actually. In Game of Thrones, the Bolton's, one of the major houses, and their sigil is a man being flayed because they were, like, known to flay all of their enemies on the battlefield. Whoa. Yeah. That's pretty badass. I mean, look at this sculpture.

Oh, that's wild. That's a badass sculpture, right? Yeah. I mean, that's like just, like, one, the technicality of, like, sculpting that is insane. But then also being like, we're going to put this in a church. Yeah. a guy that's been skinned alive and you see his internal organs basically and then he's wearing his skin as a robe. I mean, badass. And then along the way, just like praying for the people murdering you.

Bartholome is a real one. I'm going to say he of all the apostles so far. That's number one for me in terms of just taking it on the chin like a fuck gee. Right? Let's talk about John, the beloved disciple. He's one of Jesus' closest homies and a central figure among the 12. Guess where he's born? Beth Seda, son of Zebedee, and the brother of James the greater. John is a fisherman working alongside his brother and their dad when Jesus calls upon him. And this comes right after Jesus calls upon Peter and Andrew in the Book of Mark. The verse right after this event states,

when he'd gone a little farther, he saw James, son of Zebedee and his brother, John, preparing their nets. Without delay, he calls them, and they left their... father Zebedee in the boat with the hired men and followed Christ. Which if you're the dad, you'd have to be like, guys, we have, we have a business. And they're like, no, we got to go follow Jesus. And if I'm him, I think he should be allowed to be like a little pissed off.

Like for a little until he understands what's going on, you know. As a member of Jesus' inner circle, he sees many of Jesus' you know, sickest things that he does, the transfiguration. Jesus's agony in the Garden of Gassimony. He's one of Jesus's closest homies. As a matter of fact, he's referred to as, quote, the disciple whom Jesus loved. That's right.

That title underscores his unique role amongst the apostles, the disciple who Jesus loves, loved. That's like, I feel like that's what parents say. Right? Like, you are the child I loved? It's like, you love him the most? Like, no, I don't love him the most. That's the one I loved.

It's like, I feel like we know what you're actually saying. John was even present at the crucifixion, some people believe, standing at the foot of the cross alongside Mary, the mother of Jesus. In a poignant moment, Jesus entrusted Mary to John's care, saying, woman, here is your son, and to John, here is your mother. This act signifies the deep trust that Jesus placed in John and highlights his compassionate character. John is said to have gone all around the world, but mostly settled in Ephesus, a major city in Asia Minor, aka Turkey, where he preached and established a Christian community. and John is typically credited with authoring the Gospel of John, you know, three epistles, John 1, John 2, John 3, and the book of Revelation. These writings reflect his theological depth and his focus on themes such as, you know, love, truth, eternal life. The Gospel of John in particular provides a unique perspective on Jesus' life in ministry emphasizing his divinity and the importance of the belief in him.

According to early church tradition, John was exiled to Patmos. that's right little greek island during the reign of emperor domitian around like uh 81 a d where he received the visions recorded in the book of revelation that's right if you've ever read revelation or maybe you listen to my episode of doing my buddy joey about the book revelation uh john writes this wild tale, this divine revelation from God about end times that he received while in exile in Patmos. Following the death of Demetian, John was released and returned to a thesis where he continued his ministry until his death. That's pretty good. We got one that made it all the way. The circumstances of John's death set him apart. While most of the disciples were martyred for their

faith, John's died in natural causes. at a certain point you got to be like what did i do wrong if everyone else got murdered am i just soft like why didn't they come from me some of the early church fathers such as polycarp yeah that's a real church father polycarp yeah that's not a Pokemon he's the disciple of uh john and a renais attested to john's long life in his role as a teacher and a leader in the early church polycarp wrote and provided insights into john's character and teachings emphasizes uh you know, his love and faithfulness to Jesus' message. And, okay, while we don't have Polycarp's specific writing about John, we do have Aranaeus's writings, which mentioned how Polycarp followed the

teachings of the apostles. John's longevity allowed him to mentor the next generation of Christian leaders, ensuring the continuity of the church's mission. And, yeah, John was just a homie, and got to just seem like you lived a pretty chill life. Yeah. And John's got a church and a thesis to this day. And one legend suggests that John actually didn't die, but was taken by God after entering into a cave. According to the legend, before he died, Christ, along with the other apostles, visited St. John and said to him, come, my beloved one, and join me, and all other brethren of thine at my table. The time has finally come to do so.

The Sunday next, thou wilt come to stay henceforth with me. As a story unfolds, the following Sunday, day, St. John continued with his preaching of Christianity before finally informing his disciples of his time. Then he entered the cave of his church, whereupon an intense light shone, preventing his disciples from entering any farther when the light dissipated. So did John. His legend was extended when the opening of his tomb during Constantine's reign yielded no body and no relics. It was also said that St. John was not dead but sleeping beneath his tomb. And each time he breathed, there would be dust around the altar to stir, which in turn made them holy.

Because of this, the dust called manna was said to be able to cure the sick. That's right. You've heard of manna before. Talked about in ancient times, right? This is in the Bible. It's also in a bunch of Egyptian texts. The Templars believed mana is the result of alchemy and some sort of conductive material. John's writing continues to inspire believers.

And, yeah, he offers insight and seems to have a lot of. like the best time of all the disciples it seems like shout out john figured it out all right a couple more let's check out thadius aka jude you know that's short for thadius oh your name's jude what's that short for thadius oh okay that makes complete sense uh he's also known as judas the son of james uh one of the twelve apostles a lot of times he gets confused of judas ascariot that's the guy who betrayed jesus ascariot literally meeting traitor uh he's not that one he's a different He's a different Jude. Tough name to have at the time of Jesus, but he wore it well.

And that's why he was Jude, not Judas. Anyway, Thad, he's a distinct figure. He plays a crucial role in the early Christian days, known for his humility and dedication. He's mentioned the Gospel of Luke as being a part of the Apostolic group, but it's not specifically mentioned how he met J-Man. So Jesus dies and goes to hell for a couple days, resurrects. Shout out Easter. Goes to heaven.

and Thad goes to Mesopotamia, aka Iraq. Yes, he's the first Christian to go into Iraq. Won't be the last. Spoiler alert. Shout out George W. Come on now. And he also goes to Armenia, regions that were critical for the expansion of Christianity,

beyond Judea. Thad's mission network was great. He was just doing his thing on tour, just telling people about the good word. Now, the Bible doesn't really say how he died, but we got some. historical accounts in Armenian traditions. And great news.

He lived to be an old age. Sike, he was beaten to death with a club. That sucks. Damn it, dude. You just, like, how did one in 12 go the distance? That's wild. Also, there's a theory that he was beheaded in Armenia. But this idea doesn't have as much credence,

and it's not really seen as an accurate depiction. There's no writings really left behind to tell us about that. This is death. So these kind of just come from oral traditions. Armenian traditions hold a special place for Thad. The Armenians, they love that guy. They got the church over there in Armenia that celebrates the feast of saints of St. Thaddeus and Bartholome, which includes special liturgical services and hymns to their memory. There's actually a pilgrimage held at the monastery of St. Thaddeus in Karakilicia in modern day Iran. And the church is said to be one of the oldest in the world.

This event attracts thousands of Armenians. So that doesn't have the most exciting story, mostly because it wasn't really written down. However, his impact is clearly seen. I mean, just ask your Armenian friends. All right. Now, Miles, great news. Simon the Zealot.

You were kind of jumping, you were jumping the gun a little bit, but we got to him. As always, one of the 12, he's often remembered for his intense devotion and unwavering commitment, earning him the name Zeot. The epitette zealot likely indicates his affiliation with the Greek,

the zealots, which was a Jewish political movement opposed to the Roman rule. Or it might just refer to as fervent faith. It's sort of disputed among scholars and historians, but they do believe that there is a group known as the zealots, which was a political movement against the Roman imperial government. Now, the New Testament doesn't really give a ton of information about Simon's life and ministry. He's sort of like a C storyline, maybe a D storyline. And after Jesus' resurrection and ascension, he again joins the apostles, goes around the world, and he ends up in Persia and parts of Africa. That's right.

He checks out Persia, goes and, you know, it's well documented in the Eastern Christian traditions, which many of them attribute Simon as being the first Christian to make it there in establishing churches in the region. He's often associated with Thad, aka Jude, the guy we just talked about. And, yeah, the two apostles worked together to spread the gospel. So the most widespread tradition that after evangelizing in Egypt for a little bit, Simon joined Thad in Persia and Armenia where both were martyred in 65 AD. Another tradition states that he was crucified in Samaria while Justice Lipsius writes that he was sawn in half in Persia. So take your pick. Ferdl. How is he killed?

Crucifixion, club to death, or a magic trick. That's right. Sond and half. That's been an enduring image of Simon's death. and the reason he's usually depicted as having a saw in his hand. It's kind of nice, right? I just think about that. That's got a picture of Simon here.

I mean, look at that. Picture right there, Simon, beautiful hair, a nice beard, holding the tool that killed him. Yeah, they always make him balding. Yeah, that's not right. You would think, oh, if we're going to remember this guy forever, we don't need to necessarily show his hairline. He's depicted not only black and white, but always balding.

As a black guy, a white guy, and bald? It's both in both. Both a... Whoa. I'll be honest, I feel like a black guy bald. They wear it better. Am I crazy for that? Look at the little...

Look at like the little one... The wisp and everything. They give them one little wisp. You got to shave it, dude. You got to shave it at a certain point, Simon. I don't know how to tell you this. Or get on keeps or something. Yeah, drop the...

Yeah. If we had a sponsor for this episode, it would be like Hems or something like that. you got to be a little less zealous about your hair and just know when to go bald, my friend. So, like I had mentioned before, in the art, Simon is either shown being hung upside down or sawn apart vertically down the middle, starting at the groin, probably if you're going to get cut in half,

the worst half to get cut in half of. Right? Am I crazy? He's getting the Leah Thomas in the middle of, like, like you're getting sawn right from the bottom. Well, you could go half in the middle. If you were to go saw in half, You'd go in the, you'd go, right, through the belly. But that would, I don't, I mean, getting sawed in half in general would just be the worst.

But he's depicted in many different ways. The torturers would start by sawing, the crotch while all of the blood in the head would oxygenate in the brain, so the victim would not pass out as one normally would under such excruciating pain. Yuck. If I knew who was interested in the details of maybe the worst way to die ever. And again, apparently this was done on purpose. because they... Wasn't on accident. Well, they were intentionally cruel.

Like, sometimes you see some of the stuff, you're like, wow, this is so messed up. There must be a better way to kill him. And he's like, no, no, the point is the pain. So, that's Simon, a true father of the early church and a speaker of the truth of Christianity that unfortunately had another dismal end when it was all said and done.

There is a popular spot that people go to, you know, revere Simon, the zeal. It's a cave located in Georgia. That's right, not the state but the country. And when visiting the site, it's recommended to bring scarves and skirts. This is because the site enforces a dress code requiring modest attire, especially for women. And if you do visit and forget your attire, they have a change of clothes at the entrance. But it might be worn by other people.

I did do that one time. I went to a... Where was it? I went to a synagogue in Tunisia. And they forced us to wear kipas, or yarmes. And they forced all my sisters to get stoned. They stoned them. That's awesome.

No, they put them in, like, had scarves and stuff. I went to a synagogue in Middle America, and a friend was wearing a sundress and had to take my jacket to cover her shoulders. Ah, yeah, that's tricky. Yeah, I always wonder, sometimes in these places, not that this place in Georgia is particularly, I don't know, not particularly repressed, you know, but, you know, modest, perhaps. I always wonder if there's any places where it's, like, strict Sharia law, but there's one guy that's just, like, a moderate. Like, he's like, honey, just cover up. Like, it's dumb, I know.

Oh, yeah, yeah. He's aware, but has to play with all the rules. You gotta do it. Like, we live in Sharia law, so you have to cover. And then, like, he hears at work that his wife or his daughter was trying to, like, read. And he's like, oh, my God, punish them. Yeah. And I have to go stone my daughter or something.

Like, oh, my goodness. Like on my day off, I've been working all day. I'm so tired. And now I have to go stone my dog. Honey, I'm not mad. I'm disappointed. It's just like another thing I have to deal with. All because you want to drive a car.

Yeah, that's funny. All right, last one. Best for last. And by best, I mean, the worst. Judas Ascariat, that's right. Remember what I said that there were two people acknowledged in the Bible for how they died, two of the disciples?

Well, Judas is Scarius. That's the other one. That's right. What he did to my man, J.C. was just, it was fucked up. And I don't forgive him for it. And neither did the people at the time. And neither did himself. It was also, I don't know, he also got us saved in a way. So maybe we'd be grateful. Is that blasphemous? It seems like it would be blasphemous. This must be a heresy somewhere. If it is, please point it out. But like being happy that this guy sold out Jesus so that we could all be forgiven of our sins. Yeah, someone had to do it Or he could have died of old age

And then if he had died of old age Would we still have been forgiven? I guess it would have taken longer? I don't know. That's interesting. Someone, Google that or something later. Anyway, Judas is one of the most infamous figures in all of Christianity. That's right.

You got Satan, the serpent, Lucifer, all kind of the same vibe. But then Judas becomes its own separate thing and literally is, the name becomes, you know, a term, a Judas.

Judas is scarlet meaning traitor traitor, traitor Judas I mean that's a tough it's a tough reputation to live down again he's one of the 12 apostles one of Jesus's closest tommies and he plays a significant role in the ministry of Jesus but yet his actions led

to one of the most pivotal and disastrous moments in all the New Testament Judas was chosen by Jesus to be amongst his closest followers participating in the teachings, miracles and even the last supper we can see Judas gripping a bag of what is most likely silver

resembling his act of selling Jesus out for payment. Despite his proximity to Jesus, Judas ultimately became the catalyst for Jesus' Jesus' death in crucifixion. Yeah, it's interesting. If you look at the image, you can see him gripping the bag of money and kind of like holding his hand, like, whoa. Some people think this is when Jesus said, one of you will betray me, and Judas is like,

I don't know what you're talking about. He's holding the bag of money in his hand. Do you know that's how the whole thing went down? No. The betrayal of Jesus is actually fascinating. that literally according to Matthew Judas agreed

to betray Jesus to the chief priest in exchange for 30 pieces of silver they didn't know exactly where Jesus was he was preaching at the temple he's kind of riling people up

specifically around the holidays and they're like we need to find this guy how do we find them let's go to one of his boys let's see if they can they'll sell them out so it was a setup

a real kind of almost like a rat beef in a way like to get to the guy you got to find one of his homies and see if we'll just rat on him And yeah, the sum fulfilled the prophecy in Zachariah where it says, I told them if you think it best, give me pay, if not keep it. So they paid me 30 pieces of silver.

That was in the Old Testament. How much was that for nowadays? Yeah, I don't know what the exchange ran on 30 pieces of silver. You sold it or a homie. I want to know how much for. That's an interesting question. Let's see. What is 30 pieces of silver worth today?

Also, I would love to do just a three-hour podcast where I do. just to ask, who's this? Or what did they do? Because I don't know anything, did it? I truly know nothing. I like to understand that Judas is like a traitor. But I didn't know there. I didn't know any of this.

Damn. Oh, this is fascinating. This goes very deep, apparently. People have done a lot of research to try to figure this out. But here's basically what it is. So today, it's so there's this whole thing of like, what kind of coin was it? Yeah. It's disputed.

So depending on the coin, the value of the silver in today's dollars, now just for the record, this is like coins today. It would be like $400,500. But they are in question. 30 tetra docums would have been equivalent to about four months wages for a skilled laborer. In a major city in the U.S., it's not uncommon for a builder or a union carpenter to make $75,000 a year. Yeah, I was going to say, let's say they make $100,000. So it's about four months, a quarter. quarter okay so you could imagine that 30 pieces of silver might cost i don't know 15 25 grand

25k yeah yeah so yeah he sold out jesus for 25 000 yeah i wouldn't do it 100 i don't think i would do it there is and that's the most f*** up part isn't it and everyone would think i wouldn't do it the cash a bill yeah a bill like yeah of course and then i'm sure Satan's in your ear like no, no, no, it's going to be good. Like, he'll resurrect. He's not actually going to die. And he'll come back to life, and he'll save humanity. I wouldn't do it for the record.

What was his life like after? I'm glad you brought that up. So, this, again, this is the whole thing on the night of the betrayal. The soldiers arrived at the Garden of Gassimini, which is like an olive pressing field. And Judas identifies Jesus with the kiss of death. Again, the mob uses this to this day, a gesture that has become synonymous with betrayal. that Judas, they were like, which one was Jesus? And he went up and like, Jesus, how are you? Kissed him and alerted to the people. Following the arrest and the subsequent condemnation of Jesus in court under Pontius Pilate,

Judas experienced profound remorse, saying, quote, in Matthew, I should have asked for more money. No, he recounts how Judas attempted to return the 30 pieces of silver to the chief priest, declaring, I have sinned for I have betrayed innocent blood. But his pleas were dismissed. What is that to us? That's your responsibility, the people said. And in despair, Judas threw the money into the temple and hung himself. As it says in the Bible. In despair, Judas threw the money and hung himself.

And that was it. His tragic end is one of the few instances where the New Testament offers a glimpse into Judas's internal conflicts and also one of the few times that we actually see how a disciple died. Yeah, it's very strange. But the detail surrounding his death do vary slightly. I think that's probably worth pointing out. Some of the Gospels don't always line up perfectly. You have the synoptic Gospels, and those kind of differ from the Gospel of John, for example.

So Matthew's Gospel describes the hanging. Acts, Chapter 1, provided an additional perspective stating that Judas fell headfirst into a field he purchased with the betrayal money, resulting in his body bursting open. Pretty hardcore. He fell headlong, it says in the Bible. his body burst open and all of his intestines spilled out. Everyone in Jerusalem heard about this, so they called the field in their language, Akaldama, that is the field of blood.

It's kind of a cartoonish way to go. Yeah, it's a weird one. He should have just hung himself. It's way more like... Symbolic. It's like, you know, I feel like it captures something. Historically, Judas's actions have been the subject of a lot of theological debate.

Early Christian writers, such as origin and agon, Augustine grappled with the duality of Judas both as a predestined agent of God's plan and a morally culpable individual. His betrayal also led to centuries of cultural and artistic representations portraying Judas as the embodiment of human weakness and greed. So yeah, despite his terrible reputation, Judas, I guess you could say, serves as a cautionary tale, perhaps, the dangers of succumbing to temptation, greed, and the devastating consequences of betrayal. His actions did put an emotion for Jesus' crucifixion, but also his resurrection would stand as foundational moments in the theology of the Christian. So yeah, the legacy of Judas is a complicated one.

I don't know if I would name my kid Judas. Would you rather be named Judas or Adolf? Judas. Yeah, I mean, that's a dumb question. Yeah, and modern. Back in the day. Which is still crazy to me that young Dolph, RIP, the rapper, his name is Adolf.

Yeah. That's wild. Yeah, that is crazy. Not even Adolfo, not like the Spanish version. Adolf. Yeah, that's crazy. He was born in like the 80s. That's crazy.

So, not a great look. And Judas would have been a cool name. So whether Judas was a part of God's plan or just a human acting upon human weakness, his name stands as a lasting icon in the realm of the Christian tradition. So there you have it, folks. All 12. Two of them in the Bible. Bible, 10 of them elsewhere, and one of them made it to the end. That is the winner of the tribal

council. John, he is the survivor. Bring your torch. It's kind of just wild. I don't know. It is a good testament. If you're a Christian and you're listening, this, really any religious person, I guess this road is a, it's not an easy one, you know? Like, if you're not getting clubbed to death or getting sawed in half or I don't know getting flayed alive Crucified getting crucified upside down Sideways every other which way on an X Then maybe you're having a pretty good time

Maybe whatever your plight is as a Christian Despite it probably being difficult and hard On a personal subjective level certainly It's better than being I don't know any one of these guys Like I would take my struggles over any of these guys by a mile In terms of most badass ways to go getting sought in half, I would put it like three, getting crucified upside down or on a cross.

I'd put that at two. And then getting flayed alive, then your image is immortalized forever, is just having your skin draped around you, like a Balenciaga drop. I'm going to put that as number one, one of the sickest, like most badass ways to go. So shout out to all these dudes

for just keeping the faith, creating the church. And, yeah, just keeping it real as always, dude. some of the chillest guys I've ever read about. Anyway, that's another episode of Religion Camp. That's right. It happens every Sunday right here in this tent. Thank you guys so much for

tuning in. I appreciate you dearly and I'll see you next time. Peace be with you. If you've made it to the end of this episode, you are clearly someone who understands that beneath every historical event lies a deeper truth waiting to be uncovered. You're the type of person who knows that real history is more

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