Camp Gagnon - Every US Presidential Assassination Explained

Episode Date: July 22, 2024

President Trump was almost hit last week, and by a stroke of luck survived... Throughout US history 4 presidents have been taken out, and 2 others wounded, and many more almost ended in tragedy… and today we break them all down. The plots, the cover-ups, and the bizarre coincidences. WELCOME TO CAMP!S/O to our sponsors Morgan & Morgan, Bespoke, Marek Health & Bluechew!!Thanks to Bespoke Post for sponsoring this video! New subscribers get 15% off of their first monthly shipment! G...

President Trump was almost assassinated last week, escaping death by mere inches. Conspiracy theories abound, and people have questions. What does this mean for the election and what does this mean for the world? But this is not the first time this has happened. In U.S. history, four presidents have been shot, two others have been struck with bullets, and many, many more, basically all of them have had legitimate attempts on their life. And today, we're going to go through every single one. We're going to explain all the conspiracies around them, who the assassins were, how it happened,

how the lapses and security took place. We're going to talk about the aftermath, how it affected the country, how people responded, and ultimately what this moment right now means for you as a citizen on this earth. Welcome to camp. Hello, everybody, and welcome to another episode of camp. This is not the standard type of programming that we do. Today, I'm not talking to an expert, but rather I am the expert. That's right.

This is camp rituals. That's what we're calling it. It's kind of a cool name. I don't know. We'll see if we keep it. Anyway, today I'm going to be explaining some of the most interesting, fascinating details of history and discussing some wild current events that are going on, as I'm sure you're aware of, to my dumbest friends. So this is one of them. This past week, some wild shit has happened.

Yeah. Wild. 45th president of the United States, former United States president. Possibly 47th. Possibly 47th had an attempt on his life while in Pennsylvania. This is not the first time the U.S. president has been. attempted to be assassinated. Four U.S. presidents have been assassinated.

Wow. Two of them, prior to a couple weeks ago, two of them have actually been shot, and Trump will be the third one out of that list of shot but survived. Crazy. And we're going to go through all of that. And I also just want to say assassination attempts. It's almost impossible to actually talk about every assassination attempt.

One, because, I mean, I'd be willing to say this. I think every U.S. president that's ever existed has probably had an assassination attempt. Yeah, of course. That are like foiled or never made it far than on. Bro, there's a million. Like, you go through the list and it's just like, oh, this person, like Obama has like seven. Yeah, he got, the White House got shot. Like, he wasn't there.

But like, it's an attempt. You never hear about it though. Yeah, of course. Of course. Out there. It is absolutely out there. So today we're going to be talking about, obviously, the actual assassinations and then all of the attempted assassinations where like a gun was present.

And dude, it is wild. Yeah, the real ones. Let me just preface this by saying conspiracy has been at the heart of every attempted or successful assassination ever. It's from the early days. We're going to get into all that, which is wild. The through lines of every presidential assassination, you'd be shocked to know that, like, they all kind of intertwine. I would imagine so. From, like, Garfield to Lincoln, McKinley, JFK.

Yeah, like a crazy guy who was, like depressed, probably. Beyond that. There's actual through lines. Oh, interesting. And then furthermore. more, the aftermath of all the assassinations is actually very interesting. Because despite some of the assassinations to be successful, which sucks, you know what I mean? That's a bummer, right?

I don't like when people die. Do you? No, me neither. I don't like to say that on camera. On the record, I don't like that at all. That bums me out. But sometimes positive things come out of it, which we'll discuss that as well. And, yeah, the most recent one happened, July 13th, 2024.

I'm just going to kind of go through the beats. Obviously, everyone that's listening to this is aware of, more or less what happened. And there's also so much speculation. By the time this comes out, the details will probably have changed. Yeah, of course. We're going to be old immediately.

So on July 13, 2024, at a rally near Butler, Pennsylvania, Thomas Matthew Crooks shot at Trump with an hour 15 style rifle from a rooftop while Trump was giving a speech. You hit Trump in the ear and killed one attendee while critically injuring two others. Crooks was killed almost immediately after a shot

by the Secret Service Counter-Assault team, which apparently that's disputed. not exactly sure who killed him, but that's kind of like the accepted story. Yeah. Some people are saying it was like local police. Some people are saying it was like Trump's people. A lot of people think it's the two that are like the photograph too. Yeah, everybody knows about.

But apparently it's the guy's not photographed on the other. It seems like it's disputed. Okay. And right now there is an investigation underway. Now for Trump, this again, like I was saying, every president's been attempted to be assassinated. This is not Trump's first attempt. In 2016, someone tried to steal a gun off a cop out of Las Vegas. rally. Oh yeah, yeah. I remember. And that was like a whole thing. So that was like,

you know, one of the more notable attempts. This one actually was, you know, somewhat successful and almost actually killed a former president, which is just like crazy. Crazy how close it was killing him. It's truly insane. But yeah. This kid crooks, this is basically what we kind of knew going into it, right? Yeah. He was like a decent student. He was like kind of quiet. And he apparently he was bullied relentlessly. Yeah, that's how that one kid said. Yeah, which the Wikipedia article is kind of rude to him. They're like, oh, he had body. odor and he was wearing camouflage hunting outfits all the time. But apparently some people, this is one of the craziest things I've heard, some students

allege that he tried out for the school rifle team, but failed to try out because of poor aim. And yeah, remarkably ironic. Another weird thing about him, apparently also on the rifle team thing, the Bethel school district, so there's no record of him trying out for the team, convenient. What is a rifle team? I think it's a thing that like happens in the middle of the truth. We had JROTC.

we just called it oh I guess it was J ROTC we had ROTC too okay yeah I think it's both don't know you do that for a while and then I think but apparently it doesn't even just makes you like a second sergeant or some shit I don't know the details no clue but I don't know what a rifle team is but apparently failing it is hilarious yeah you know what I mean you're rejected this is like Hitler type shit he's like dude I was supposed to be the greatest artist ever yeah they turn me down that's I mean that's kind of the through line also if you get turned

down you get you get pissed off so the other weird thing is that he appeared in a 32nd Black Rock advertisement, which like conspiracy people love to bring it up. Yeah, of course. So like Black Rock obviously is like this is like,

giant like VC hedge fund thing that like controls the world. Largest asset manager fund. They have the most like assets ever. They're like behind all the houses. They're behind it. And they have a marketing team, which is hilarious.

It's awesome. I don't know why Black Rock's like, hey, we got to boost our image. Did you see it? What was he in? So basically they were doing like a profile on a teacher at the school where he was a student. So he's just in it.

And he's just like, chilling it. But it's just like, it's like perfect conspiracy fodder. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. When you're talking about the giant thing that runs the world that everyone's like, oh, is that the Illuminati? And then the kid that tries to kill the president is in the commercial. It's like, what are the odds? How many people do you know in Black Rock commercials?

None. Basically zero, right? It's like remarkable that this kid is like now one of the most famous people ever for attempting to kill the president and is also happened to being a Black Rock commercial. Just crazy. They apparently removed the ad from circulation out of respect for the victims, which is kind of, I don't know how. I'm sure the teacher's kind of pissed.

Where was it being shown? Like, where? That's what I'm saying. Where is this like, I've never seen a Black Rock commercial myself? Why? Like, where would it even be like Instagram? YouTube? I have no clue.

That's fascinating to hear, though. Speaking of which, I would, this show is actually brought to you by Black Rock. Oh, dude, that'd be such a long sponsor. They're one of the sponsors this episode. They're one of the greatest asset managers in the nation. And yeah, check them out, blackrock.com. Okay. And I'm now also featured one of their commercials.

Is it illegal to do commercials for a brand that's not? I don't know. Also sponsored by Heineken. I was going to answer that. Like, I knew what I was talking about. And by Zinn. So it's all pretty crazy. They get his cell phone.

And apparently he had like no mental illness prior to the event. Okay. There was like no record of anything. Well, I, what does that mean? No mental, like, what does that really mean? Yeah, I guess it's like, also if you try to kill the president, like, you probably have something going on. You know what I mean? But just like, what does it mean no mentalness for?

Like, we can't ask him. But I guess like, there was no record of him going to a therapist. There was no record of him, like, telling his parents, like, yeah, I'm going through something. Again, this is as of right now. Fine, fine, fine. And apparently he was a member at a local shooting club for a year. The U.S. Department of Fence found that no. history of military service.

Apparently, I went there a lot. Yeah, and apparently that's where he was going that day. That's what his dad said. That's where he said he was going. Yeah, that's his dad's gun, I think. Exactly. So, on the day of the assassination attempt, Thomas Matthew Crooks borrowed his father's AR-15-style rifle,

bought 50 rounds of ammunition from a gun store, purchased a five-foot ladder before driving to the... That's awesome. It's a very short ladder. Yeah, five feet, right? It's not a very big ladder. Right? But it's apparently it was like the roof was not that high.

Yeah, I saw the picture where it's like tucked in behind that tree. And then I'm also assuming that he pulled the ladder up with him. Nope. I think it's left there. It was just left there? I saw a photo where his body's laying. And then like the ladder is just, it's behind a tree. It's in like a tiny little alcove where like a tree was planted.

And then it's actually behind the tree. It's like really well hidden. Crazy. Yeah. So the timeline is extremely bizarre. There's actually a whole. layout from ABC that like does the whole timeline. Yeah, I'm familiar with the diagrams.

It's like insane how long he was on the roof. Yeah. So prior to 545, police officers saw crooks on the ground acting suspicious. Have you seen that video of him walking around? I didn't see the video. There's like a tiny, tiny like, and I don't know if it's him. Honestly, like it's like seven pixels, but like they're saying it's him. I think like New York Times or something reported to him.

And there's a cell phone video where like you can just see him sort of like wandering like outside of a fence outside of a fence. And apparently they were tipped. off early, 545. Yeah. Like, that's, like, remarkably, like, Trump didn't go on until 605. Yeah. That's crazy.

Yeah. So he's tipped off, like, 545. Apparently, he's, like, acting suspicious around, like, some of, like, their... What, carrying a ladder is suspicious? And a gun? And a gun. That's kind of suspicious. No.

That's a little, to me, that's suspicious. If I saw that, I'd be like, oh, wait a second, this guy's being suspicious right now. And then the most suspicious thing, at 545, a member of the Beaver County emergency services, Which, Beaver County. Come on, guys. Awesome. Beaver County. That's awesome.

So one of the beavers was like, he basically saw crooks on the roof and notified other security services and photographed crooks. In one of the last two cases. Is that the picture that we've seen? The famous picture that everyone sees where he sort of like turned to the side and you see his face. Bad jawline. Yeah. Don't say that. I know.

Your jawline's way better than his. I appreciate that. By a mile. I would take his. Stop it, dude. No, no, no, no. His jawline is atrocious. Yeah, that photo where he's like turned, you see like the underbite.

Yeah, the bulldog. Yeah. That's apparently from a cop that day. It was probably from this guy on the roof being like, hey, this guy's on a roof right now. Which is crazy. He took a photo and not another. Like, he told people, he was like, yo, what? Do you think it got mixed up?

They're like, I shot him. And he's like, oh, good, you shot him. And they're like, I did a photograph. Yeah, I shot him with my phone. I should have been more clear. That's honestly my bad. That could be where it all started. Well, the craziest thing is he's on the roof with a lot.

large, like a laser range finder. Yeah. Literally like fucking, like binoculars, scoping out the roof in camo pants. So they basically, that's at 545. I wonder if they thought he was like plane clothes officer or something. I couldn't. I can't imagine they did, but I'm like.

And apparently the building that he was on was. Yeah. Like the Secret Service like Command Center. Yeah, it was the Command Center. I think for the other branches, not the Secret Service, but for like the local military or local police and SWAT teams and stuff. Gotcha. And then also I heard that like a lot of like the local police were like super hot

walking around in the sun in PA that day. Okay. And they were like, oh, we're going to kind of chill inside because air conditioned. It makes sense. I had heard that. Again, I don't know if that's the case, but it's crazy. I don't blame. So this is the timeline.

What could happen? Right? What could happen? This is the timeline given by ABC. At 530, he spotted with a rangefinder. At 552, Secret Service spot the game. gunman on the roof. Okay.

At 605, Trump goes on stage. I wonder when the timeline of like when those people are saying he's on the roof, like that lady? I think that's right before. So 6.05, Trump's on the roof.

At 609... No, he's on stage, sorry. I'm sorry. Wait, Trump's not on the roof. That'd be awesome. That would be crazy. He's just on a different roof. He's like, dude, they already have a stage here.

This is perfect. I'll just go up there. No, 605, he goes on stage. And then 609, the sniper team point in the direction of the gunmen. So they already have them in the site. And I'm assuming the sniper team's like, can we take them out? Apparently the sniper team that's the one we're seeing in all the photos doesn't have a clear shot.

There's a tree between him. I heard the tree thing. Yeah. And then furthermore, I'm also like, okay, do they see the weapon? Like the roof is sloped. So they're like, okay, can we see the weapon or not? Yeah. And you don't want to like shoot a kid.

Dude, imagine it's like some little immigrant kid that's like trying to watch his hero. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It's like a nine-year-old who's like, dude, I really love Trump. I couldn't get in. I jumped on the roof. and I was trying to peak, like, unless you see the weapon. And again, I don't know.

In a cute, in a weird way, if it was a nine-year-old that was trying to watch Trump and he's like a huge Trump fan, it's like America on acute. Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah. But then you kill the kid and it's like, oh, you lose the election. So that's like high stakes. That's true. I don't think about it that way.

That's insane stakes. Yeah. So I can't tell if they, when they see the weapon. That's the thing that's like not clear to me through any of the stuff. And I don't know if anyone knows the answer to that. Like, he's walking around with the rangefinder, but I don't know if he has the weapon like with him on the roof. if they can see it, if it's in like a bag, if it's under him.

I don't know what the deal is. But at 609, they point the snipers at the gunmen. Yeah. And that's around the time that people start, like, yelling at 610. That's when police kind of get involved. And right around that time. So I love the woman that's going, he's on the roof. He's got a gun.

And the cops are like, wait, like a gun gun. Like they're like to ask it. It's like, dude, just go look. So eventually two cops eventually go to like investigate. Apparently one hoisted the other one up. Yeah, which is kind of loony to. It's a little loony. All right, I'm going to put my hands together.

And it's literally like hoisted it. And he pokes his head up on the roof and then Crooks points the gun at him. And do you think he ducked or do you think he was, let me down, let me down? I think he goes, what the fuck? And backflips. And apparently he breaks his ankle. He like, he jumps off the roof, breaks his ankle and he's like, oh shit. And then it was like seconds later that he fired eight shots into the rally.

Wow. Hitting Trump in the ear. If you see a cop in Pennsylvania right now that's walking around on crutches. Yeah. You got talk to that man. Right? Just like give him a salute. People are blaming that cop, though.

I don't blame him. No, I mean, like, I don't blame him for like the human response of dropping down when a gun is pointed at you. Like, you're signed up for like overtime. You're protecting the president, quote, unquote. But you're like, okay, in the line of command, I am literally the bottom and I'm here for like making sure people don't go through the exit through the entrance. Maybe he should have gone up there with his gun, like ready? Yeah. I'm saying like, I imagine if you're.

a cop at one of these, you're basically so low on the totem pole of things that you're like, I'll look up here, whatever. I also think, like, it's really easy to hero think. Like, I would fucking be up there and fuck him. Yeah, of course. I would have gone out there and talk to him. I would have talked to him. I would have talked to him.

It's not worth it. That's smart. And then he would have converted. Oh, nice. And he would have gone on the rallies. I bet he was Christian. That's what I would have done. Oh, convert.

I get you saying. Nazi Christian. He was probably a Christian. He was probably, I would have probably get. I would have talked to him about Jesus if I was up there. But he fires eight shots in the crowd, hitting Trump, two other shots hit people,

and one of the shots kills a fire chief, which is like so tragic. He was like protecting his family. And then immediately after the shots rang out, the Secret Service snipers shot back and killed him. Yeah. Trump gets hit in the ear, goes down.

Wild. I mean, getting hit in the ear is the most insane thing in the world. Looking at a chart. It's the craziest. It's, Unbelievable. If it was written in a book, you'd be like, I'd hate this book, dude. I'd put it down. I'd be like, there's no way. This could happen. Yeah.

What's crazy, though, is that as we'll learn in a little bit, there's been other things like this. We're like, there's no way. Yeah, of course. We're going to talk about a couple. You're going to be like, that really happened. And it's like, yeah. Yeah. It's insane. So all that to say, basically, Trump goes down. He loses his shoes. According to the Secret Service agent, he says, like, apparently Trump said that. I don't know if this is true. He says, he hit me so. hard, my shoes fell off. Yeah, I heard that.

You hear when the first you can hear the series Airbus be like, the shooter's down, the shooters down. And then on the mic you hear Trump go, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really cute. Oh, it's unbelievable. Which I will say of all of the assassination attempts, I think this is the coolest one. Teddy Roosevelt is close.

Most heroic. Teddy Roosevelt is close. We'll talk about it. Standing up and being like, fight. Fight with the hand. Like, I don't care what side of the political aisle you're on. You've got to be like, that's insane. Yeah.

Like, that's crazy. Like, they also don't know that, I think they're telling Secret Service, oh, shoot her down, shoot her down. But like, he doesn't know. He's taking his head up going fight. That's fire. It's crazy. Yeah. It's like the most unbelievable.

Once again, if it was in a book, I'd be like, oh, God. Really? Okay. So they end up looking into, like, crooks after the fact, after he gets killed. Yeah. He's, so this is what's weird. January 20th, when he's 17, he donates to Act Blue, like a voter, a voter turn group, 15 bucks. And then

in September of 2021, that same year, he's a registered Republican. Yeah. So I thought it was the other way around. I was like, oh, he's a Republican and then went Democrat and then got mad of Trump. No, you'd have been 17 when he donated. But it's flipped. So it's like, he supported Act Blue that when Republican,

maybe like social pressure, I don't know, but that's just like a very bizarre piece of this whole thing to me. It's not the most bizarre thing he did, though. Okay, what is it? I guess, okay, that's the second most bizarre. Okay, I guess, trying to kill the president. It's the most bizarre. But then his search history is wild. So, like, they go through his phone. And apparently that day, he was, like, looking up images of,

like, Trump and Biden, like, trying to find, like, the rally stuff. He was, like, looking up the Democratic National Convention. He was looking up, like, all sorts of, like, weird political stuff. And then this is the most wild thing. I didn't know this until I started researching it. He posted on Steam, the gaming platform. Apparently, again, this has not been confirmed, necessarily. This is just pulled from an article I read. July 13th will be my premiere. Watch as it unfolds. Apparently, it seems like he's looking for infamy.

Also, posting on Steam is the weirdest place to get infamy. But yeah, it apparently doesn't have any other social media. I apparently did a discord. Yeah, it got taken down because of inactivity. Like, it's crazy to be a 20-year-old without any other, like, digital footprint. Yeah, it's also, yeah. I mean,

I guess if you do enough, I guess if you're one of these people that are like doing research on all killers and things like that, shooters, assassins, whatever. You probably know that they're going to find what you've posted. Yeah. And Steam is one where you're not going to get like flagged by the FBI beforehand.

Maybe. I can't even imagine he's thinking about that. That's not an advertisement. Maybe he's thinking about it. I don't know. But that all goes down. Trump ends up recovering, fortunately. I mean, I don't want any president to get killed. I mean, so like I think it's a good thing, obviously. And something good.

Good actually comes out of this. So RFK Jr., when he came on flagrant, he was said that he didn't have any secret service protection. Yeah. Two days after this event, he was granted approval for secret service protection. That's not good. Right. Why?

You saw what happened with secret server protection. Yeah, but this is actually another thing that is interesting. Someone told me that, like, rural towns are actually harder to detail. Like, when you're in New York City, like, New York City or like Chicago, L.A., Miami might have like the highest profile, like SWAT teams and snipers. Got it, got it, got it, got it. But you go to like a more rural town. You're having to rely a lot.

Obviously, you bring your own people. Beaver County Police. Go to Beaver County Police. Shout out to the Beaver Boys. But like, you're dealing with not necessarily the same, same echelon as New York City snipers. That makes a lot of sense. So apparently when you're in these more rural spots,

it's actually a lot harder to secure. Yeah. Someone had told me that. I don't know if that's true. But we should. No, it makes sense. I mean, I'm going to fully believe it. His post on Steam is really interesting.

And like the infamy angle is remarkable. Apparently he wanted fame, I think is fair to say, which that's important to recognize because basically every assassin in United States history either was politically motivated or crazy delusional and wanted fame. Sometimes both. I mean, there are conspiracies that go both ways on this whole thing. Oh, really? Obviously, people on the left are like, I think when it happened like in the hours after, like staged was the number two ranking search on Twitter. I, yeah, I mean, truly I thought it was like a BB gun or like an Airsoft pellet. I first thought it was a beepic, because it sounds not like a gun.

Yeah, it's like. But so people are like, oh, it's staged. The, you know, the blood is fake. Yeah, there's crisis. Oh, yeah, I saw all that. The blood's fake. And that's like, your bleeds more than da-da-da, like. The left side.

And then kind of the right side is like, oh, this was set up by this, you know, CIA, as we'll get into. This is not the first time people have suspected that. Or like, oh, the Secret Service was in on it. This was made by Hillary. Who knows? So those are like, it's, this conspiracies go both ways. which I think is actually the first time I've seen, based on my research,

that both sides kind of pick up a conspiracy. Typically, it's like one side will run with the narrative and be like, no, this is, you know, what they're saying is true. I think this is a new normal. That's what I'm saying. But I think this is one of the first times, though, like, it's kind of been like bipartisan conspiratorship. That's fun.

Wild. But not the first time it's happened. Yep. January 30th, 1835, the first presidential assassination attempt. Again, let me couch this and saying, I don't think Andrew Jackson was the first president to, they tried to kill. Okay?

Like, George Washington was in a war. You know what I'm saying? Like, people were trying to kill him too, for sure. Again, I'm going through kind of like the big ones that actually like, you know, actually made a dent, so to speak. So, January 30th, 1835, Andrew Jackson becomes a first president to experience assassination attempt. This one is wild. Andrew Jackson is a wild motherfucker. And again, the parallels and the tie-ins with this, the thing that I love about looking at history is that you can kind of get a prediction for like what we'll have.

happen. As like the old saying goes, like, history, you know, doesn't repeat itself, but it rhymes. Oh. And it's like, you can kind of look at history and get like a sense for like, oh, this, you know, happened after this. This happened after this. And the parallels and tie-ins are like kind of weird. Oh, interesting. So Andrew Jackson, 1835, Richard Lawrence is an unemployed house painter. He's living a pretty regular life. His life is actually pretty good. Like he's, he's just a normal guy painting houses. What's interesting, Miles, let me ask you this question. What is in the that they're painting these houses with at that time. Probably lead.

And what does constant lead exposure cause someone to do? Makes you loony. Makes you crazy. Yeah. So this is wild. So this guy, Richard Lawrence, he's doing his thing. All of a sudden, after like 40 years of painting houses, he starts to lose his mind. Yeah, this makes sense.

Literally, he's losing his mind. So much so that at one point, he quit working. And his sister and brother-in-law were like, hey, why did you, you're not painting house anymore? He's like, no, no, no, I actually fell into a lot of money. Oh, fire. And they're like, oh, where'd the money come from? And they go, I'm owed a lot of money, one, by the U.S. government.

Yeah, me too. I'm also owed a lot of money by Richard III of England. He owes me two large estates in England. Oh. I looked up Richard the third. He was the king of England in the 1400s. I believe this guy. I believe this guy.

You're on his side of this? I'm on his side of, actually. Well, let's see. Okay. So he claims that he's owed a large sum of money, okay? and he believes that Andrew Jackson's opposition to the second bank of the United States. He's basically trying to destroy the Fed, right? He doesn't want a central bank.

Got it. And he believes that Andrew Jackson's attempt to try to destroy the central bank is going to stop him from getting money. But Vice President Martin Van Buren, if he's president, would establish a national bank and allow Congress to pay him the money for his English estate claims. This is awesome. This is what Richard Lawrence, the defamed house painter, believes. All painters are drunk in this. just proves it that it's a historical fact.

There you go. So he basically pulls up on Jackson after he left a congressional funeral and pulls out, this is, again, one of those moments where it's like, what are the odds? Yeah. He pulls out a pistol, all right, like a little revolver and pulls it up to Jackson and shoots him. The gun jams. Yeah, I've heard this. He goes, ah, fuck, throws the gun away, pulls out another gun.

Yep. What does that gun do? Jambs. Also jams. two guns jam at the same time. There was a research that went into this. He was like, it's a one and like a million chance. So his gun jams.

And then Andrew Jackson, whatever you want to say about him. What he did right here is fucking baller. Okay. He starts beating the shit out of him with a cane. Oh, that's great. The Secret Service are like, not serious service. They don't have it at the time. But like his aides and like people around try to tackle the guy.

And Andrew Jackson goes, no, no, no, let me have him myself. It beats the shit out of him with a cane. That's awesome. Other people jump in and they also start going crazy on him. And he's like pissed off. Andrew Jackson is like reasonably distraught from the event. He's like annoyed and, you know, paranoid. Furthermore, apparently the guns jammed because of high humidity at the time.

Where was this? I think it was in D.C. I got to check. Swampy. Yeah. So apparently, oh yeah, is out of the, yeah, it was outside. Congressional. That makes it.

Outside the Capitol building, I think. Yeah. And so the guns jam because of the humidity. Andrew Jackson beats a shit out of him. And yeah, that's basically how it goes down. I mean, that's awesome. What's crazy is that Andrew Jackson... That one's cooler.

No, I'm already putting it above Trump. Sorry, Trump. Andrew Jackson was suspicious that this was not a random crazy guy that got paint poisoning. He believes that it was an organized hit by Van Buren and a couple other people within Congress at the time to take him out because of his opposition to one, Freemasons and two, the Central Bank. He's like a big anti-freemason guy. I was like, I don't want a government inside our government. And it was like trying to eradicate them. And he was like, people are trying to kill me for that.

Pretty crazy. Yeah, that's one now officially, Trump too. Well, we're going to keep going. What's crazy this motherfucker goes to trial, Richard Lawrence, right? He's crazy in trial. He's like going off. He's prosecuted by none other than Francis Scott Key. Oh, yeah.

The guy that wrote the National Anthem. Nice. And so he's in. court just whiling out. He's like literally crazy in court. It's crazy back then that there was only so many people that they did multiple things. That's all of American history. Yeah. Like, dude, there's other

shit in here that I don't even have written down. Yeah. We're like, like, Francis Scott Key's son murdered a guy and then got acquitted because a different attorney that one, that like defended someone else that assassinated. Like, it's like all the same eight people. There's only like eight people. There's only

10 at the time. It's insane. So he in court stands up again, after trying to kill Andrew Jackson, stands up in court and goes, ladies and gentlemen, it is for me to pass judgment on you and not you upon me. Just talking to shit.

I like this guy. The jury deliberates for a whopping five minutes and find him guilty of attempted assassination. Again, conspiracy rang out. This is like the first time that given a presidential assassination that conspiracy is rife.

This is 1835. Jackson was convinced that John C. Calhoun and Senator George Poindexter of Mississippi try to take him out. Okay. What's crazy is there's actual repercussions. Poindexter loses, he loses the re-election in Mississippi

because of the accusations. Huh. So he was like, I didn't do anything, but apparently the guy that painted, that was painting houses, Richard Lawrence, painted George Poindexter's house like three weeks before. Love that. And he was like, oh, he painted your house,

and you told him to kill me. Duh. Yeah, Black Rock commercial. That's what I'm saying, dude. It's all connected. I get it. And furthermore, what's crazy is that Trump... Imagine losing because you're like,

we hired a guy to paint the house. I'd be... I'd be... I'd be pissed. Oh, God. So how does this tie in to Trump? I'll tell you right now. Apparently, Andrew Jackson was one of Trump's favorite presidents.

Okay. In the Oval Office, there's a giant portrait of Andrew Jackson that Trump put up. So, again, this is from an article that I pulled up. During a town hall event in April, Trump said that Andrew Jackson had, quote, a great history while giving the host Excuse me While giving a host a tour He showed them the portrait of Jackson

And he said quote They say his campaign and his whole thing was most like mine That's cool Andrew Jackson was like trying to get You know immigrants out of here He had the whole like Indian Repatriation Act or whatever Or yeah Indian Removal Act

It's crazy I didn't know nothing about him There's some overlap It's pretty crazy So that was the first one Andrew Jackson beat the shit out What was the guy's name? Richard Lawrence Okay. That was the guy.

Fast forward, 28 years. You ever heard of Abraham Lincoln? I heard of the guy. This shit is even crazier. Okay. Like, how deep does this go? Okay. So again, everyone kind of knows the main story, right?

John Wilkes Booth goes into the Ford's Theater and assassinations Abraham Lincoln. But that's not the whole thing. That's not where it starts. Booth, which a lot of people know was an actor, but I didn't realize how famous he was. Yeah. So he's born into an acting family. This is such a weird little coincidence. His father is.

named Junius Brutus Booth. Have you ever heard that name? Yeah, Atu Brutta. That is the name of Caesar's assassin. Fire. What are the odds that his dad is named after the guy that killed Caesar? Right. Right.

It's sort of dictates what you do. Yeah, it's crazy. And so he basically is born into this family. Him and his two brothers are all like pretty famous actors, Edwin Booth, who we're going to talk about a little bit. He was known for being a scene stealer. Like, he wasn't as talented of an actor. apparently John Wilkes Booth, but he was much more like energetic and animated.

So he would like steal scenes and go on and just like really like flex on people. Another poignant little piece of him in his acting career, he performed in 83 plays in 1858. And Booth said in his diary of all the Shakespearean characters, his favorite role was Brutus, the Slayer of Tyrants. Nice. Weird, right? Yeah.

He gets even weirder because our boy, Abraham Lincoln, saw John Wilkes Booth perform. He saw him at the Ford's Theater. where he would later be assassinated. That makes sense. Right? Yeah, that makes sense. He's such a famous actor at the time. Like, it's kind of crazy to even, like, think about how famous he was.

I'll make a parallel in a second. Yeah. But he's doing a play. And during the play, John Wilkes Booth is on stage. And during one of the lines of dialogue, he points at the booth where Abraham Lincoln will eventually get assassinated and delivers one of the lines of dialogue at Lincoln. Lincoln's like, I think it was like his sister-in-law or something. Yeah, his sister-in-law leans over and goes,

hey, Mr. President, it looks as if he meant that for you. And Lincoln replies, he does look pretty sharp to, he does look pretty sharp at, you got this. He does look pretty sharp at me, doesn't he? Like, he kind of acknowledged as like, yo, this guy was checking. But also if you were performing in front of him a president, you got to ham it up for him. Well, let me kind of couch this also by saying he was at this time a known Confederate sympathizer. Okay.

He hated Lincoln. There's even been like multiple times. where Lincoln tried to invite him or like invite him to the booth in between acts like oh I'd love to meet that guy that actor is like so so amazing I'd love to shake his hand and Booth was like no I'm good and like waved them off crazy

so apparently Lincoln's son Tad saw Booth perform and was like so thrilled by him that that Booth gave Tad a rose and then Booth ignored Lincoln's invitation to the to the booth or to the you know little balcony thing that same night this even ties into New York City today There's a statue of Shakespeare in Central Park to this day that was paid for by a production of Julius Caesar starring the father booth and two of the sons, John Wilkes Booth and Edwin Booth.

Paid for by the production. That's still in Central Park. There's actually a theater named after Edwin Booth, the brother of John Wilkes Booth. Weird. The Booth theater. And the players, have you heard of like the players? That was created by Edwin Booth. Crazy, right?

So it's worth acknowledging at the time. They're from Maryland. And Maryland during the Confederate War was kind of split. Like, you know, the state in general, you had some Confederate sympathizers and then some unionists that were like, you know, abolished. Really shaped state. Makes sense. Right?

So there was all this like strife. And the family was like a perfect, almost like parallel for all the strife. So John Wilkes-Bood was like a staunch Confederate sympathizer, so much so that he went on to, you know, kill the president. And then his brother, Edwin Booth, was like a union soldier. Yeah. He was like down with the union cause and they ended up having a falling out. So family's divided.

He's like super, super staunch on it. Edwin Booth, one of the actors in the family, he doesn't perform in the South anymore. He's like, I'm not going there. John Wilkes Booth is like, oh, I'm going. Not only does he go, he brings malaria medication. Quineineine. Is that he pronounced it? Yeah.

He brings quinine on the train, smuggles it into the South to give it to people in like the Gulf Coast region that are suffering from malaria because of the blockades from. trade being stock. So he's like actively aiding the Confederate war effort. He doesn't actually fight though. Booth is like too vain and like too narcissistic and he kind of like uses his acting things.

I try to find exact data on that. I couldn't find it. But he basically like doesn't fight and doesn't want to get involved. So he gets arrested before he actually does anything. He's in St. Louis and he basically says, I wish the president and the whole damn government would go to hell.

And that's treasonous. So they arrest him and they're like, yeah, what did you say? and he's like nothing. And he basically has to pay a fine and then take an oath of allegiance to the union. And they're like, he didn't mean it.

That's awesome. I mean, he was just goofing around. He's an actor. You know, these people are dumb. So he begins plans initially to kidnap Lincoln. So this is like his whole thing. Basically, he's going to kidnap Lincoln from a summer residence

at Soldier's Home, old soldier home, three miles from the White House. He's going to smuggle him into Virginia. Once he's in Virginia, he's going to be able to use Lincoln as like leverage. He's either going to use him as like a trade for like Confederate Army prisoners

and like generals that have been captured in the North. He's going to try to basically use that as leverage to end the war by emboldening opposition to the war in the North or kind of like forcing

the union recognition of the Confederate government. Yeah. So basically he's like, we're going to take Lincoln and we're going to have so much leverage and be like, yo, we're going to kill this guy unless you guys just acknowledge

that we are legit government and leave us alone. Imagine trying to kidnap someone who's like 6'5. He's huge. He's like, he's a massive guy. He's so tall that actually when he got killed. they put him on the gurney and they couldn't even put him straight up.

It's like trying to like... He was like at an angle. That's wild. Crazy, right? It's like trying to kidnap LeBron. Yeah. I'll make it happen. He's so tall.

Yeah. So he finds out about like a play that he's going to go to and they have this whole plan to kidnap him against all these co-conspirators. And he's like deep in like the Confederate sympathizer community in like New York City and he's like really into it and like all the northeast. He's like knows all the guys. And he's basically, all right, we're going to kidnap him. And then Lincoln doesn't show up. So he's like, ah, fuck. Can't kidnap him.

How old is he when he's doing all this? 25, 26? Okay, young. Young guy. All the fame in the world, all the money. Crazy. Born to the best family ever. Throws it all away.

And he even acknowledges that in the letter that he writes to his sister that we'll get to. So, robbery, Lee surrenders. It's basically the end of the war. Yeah. A couple days go by. DC is like buzzing. Everyone's so happy.

Like, yeah, we did it. Lincoln's our hero. Life is great. The war is done. There's like little rogue factions still fighting. Yeah. Now, the problem with Robert E. Lee's surrendering is that now the kidnapping plot has no leverage.

Yeah. So the John Will's spooot is like, we're going to kidnap him for what? Yeah. So he's basically like, fuck it. We're going to kill him. We're going to kill everyone else basically like in the union government. We're going to take out all the heads. Okay.

And once we kill all of them, then there's not going to be any union government and all the rest of the Confederates like Robert Lee and all them, they're going to basically resurge and then we're going to have our own nation. Okay. That's now the plan. So basically, he finds out, he goes and gets his. mail from Booth's theater where all his mail sent and he talks to one of the people at the theater

and they're like, yeah, Lincoln's going to be here tonight. And he was like, oh shit, game time. So he tells like a bunch of people that are in like sort of the, you know, inner circle of like Confederate sympathizers. This guy, Powell, Harold, and Atzerod. And he basically tells them of the plan. So he assigns all of them different people to kill. So one of the people

that Powell has to kill is Secretary of State William H. Seward. And Atzirot has to kill Vice President Andrew Johnson. And then Harold is going to be like his escape guy that's going to help him get out of town. That's the plan. So the theater's packed. They're going to see a play. It's called My American Cousin.

It's like a comedy, like a culture clash comedy of like this like sort of aristocratic stuffy family in England going to see like their American cousin that's like wild and fucking, you know, goofballs. Okay. Apparently it's super funny at the time. Yeah. I don't know. The theater's packed with like soldiers,

military personnel. It's like wall to wall, the president's in the building. Like the vibe is like crazy. Fire. John Wilkes Booth knows exactly what act they're in. He knows exactly what the line is coming up. Again, I think he's done this play before.

So he knows exactly what's going on. He walks in, everyone goes, oh, John Wicks-Booth is here. Obviously, one of the most famous actors in the world. This guy tours around the country, makes tons of money. Welcome back to the theater where you get your mail. He's like welcomed. He walks in around 10 o'clock, opens the door. Again, no real like military protection.

Yeah. Opens the door, walks right up behind Lincoln, shoots him in the head. One of the guys, an actual like military general that's in the, the balcony with him, he lunges for him, and then he takes out of dagger and stabs that guy. So that guy gets stabbed, just, you know, collateral, jumps on the stage, holds up the dagger and yells, sick tempered tyrannus, which basically is Latin for, like, thus always the tyrants. What's wild is that this line actually has, like, three different meanings for Booth. That's what Brutus says at Caesar's assassination.

Again, a play that he's done hundreds of times. It's the state motto of Virginia where he's going to escape to. It's also mentioned in Maryland My Maryland the future anthem of John Wilkes Booth Home State. So it has like all of these like triple meanings. It's crazy. So he's waiting for this big laugh

to happen in the show. And once the big laugh happens, he creeps in, shoots him in the head, stabs the guy and then jumps on stage. And he's on stage and he yells the thing and then runs off. And everyone in the crowd is like, oh, this must be like a part of the show.

Yeah. They think like because the president's in the building they're like going to... Did he kill him during the live? Yeah. So he died laughing. It's sort of nice. That's kind of nice, right?

That's a little respectful. I got to look at what the line was. I got to see, like, what the actual bar was that made him die. Good. He died laughing. Right. Yeah. It's like, you know, and technically, I don't think he even died there.

I think he, like, slowly bled out and saw his wife. I'd take it all back. Just died. You're a sicko. You're a fucking back. I take it all back. So he runs on stage, does the whole thing. Everyone's like, wait, what's going on?

And then he just runs out, which is also crazy bold, because, like, everyone in there is, like, military. Yeah, it's crazy to kill someone. one like probably up a couple like flights of stairs, run down the flight of stairs, run down an aisle, jump up on the stage. He jumps on the stage from the balcony. Oh, wow. And then as the story goes,

which again, this is kind of disputed. Apparently he breaks his leg when he jumps on the stage. I was going to say he didn't break it like an ankle. No, he literally snapped his leg. On the tentant, break a leg. He like hits it apparently on a flag, which is kind of nice irony. You know, the flag gets one more. I mean, for America. And he runs off.

And everyone in the theater's like, hobbles. What just... I think the adrenaline's pumping. That's true. He probably hoof it. And everyone in the theater's like, what just happened? Yeah.

He bounces. He tells the guy to hold his horse outside. And the guy's like, all right. jumps on the horse and he's like, see you later. The most theater kid shit in the world. Hazzaw. We're getting away on horseback. It is the most theater way to kill him.

It's crazy. I did it. And then jump on his horse and be like, bye. Bye. Bye, everybody. So basically him and this guy, Harold, are about to dip. They leave.

and Lincoln eventually dies nearby. His son Robert Lincoln, Robert Tad Lincoln. Remember this name? Yeah, right. He sees him die. Robbie T. One of his kids at a young age. It's traumatic, as you can imagine.

It's so sad. Remember his name. That'll come up later. So he runs away. He like basically like his escape plan is like all convolutity like goes the wrong way down the river. It's like a whole nightmare. And then he basically gets to this place, Garrett's farm. It's like these guys, they don't have telegraph yet.

So they don't even know that like the president died. And he's like dining with this family. And they have. no idea what's going on. He's using like a fake name. But he uses a couple of hideouts along the way to hide. While he's running away, he's shocked by the reaction. He thinks everyone's going to be excited. Yeah.

He's like, why isn't everyone cheering for me? He's like reading some of the newspapers as like, as they get out, you know, because he only gets like a couple miles away. He goes to Virginia. And he's like, why isn't everyone excited? He writes literally in his, in his diary. He's like, you know, it's a diary. Journal. He's a theater kid. It's a diary. Dyer, you're back. He says, for six months, we work to capture, but our cause being almost lost.

Something decisive and great must be done. I struck boldly, not as the paper say, I can never repent that we hated to kill. And he's like, why isn't the paper, like, jeering me on? Everyone's bummed about this. Everyone's sad. Like, Lincoln basically does a funeral process where they put him on a train to, like, take him around. Like, 100,000 people in New York City came to see him. 1.5 million people saw his body or saw his casket as it was going by.

Wow. Like, the whole nation was sad. Robert Lee himself. apparently expressed regret at Lincoln's death. And there was like mixed emotions. A lot of people in the South, too, like didn't like Lincoln were like, oh, great, now they're going to retaliate. They're going to take us out.

So this is actually a thing that ties into now. So news of the assassination reached all over the nation over time. And people were basically pointing at like political leaders in the media for causing this event. Interesting. This is very interesting. Like rhetoric. Literally, San Francisco Chronicle has this in one of their papers. They say, Booth has simply carried out what secession politicians and journalists have been years, have been for years expressing in words, who have denounced the president as a tyrant, as a despot, as a usurper, and hinted at and virtually recommended.

There was a literal war just a few years before. Sure. Sure. Yeah. But all that is say, like, even at the time, like, people are kind of saying this now about Trump, like, oh, like the rhetoric is that he's Hitler and then someone takes him out. Yeah. It's like, what did you expect? Yeah.

It's just crazy to think, oh, this happened when Lincoln got assassinated. It was the same thing. Yeah, rhymes, but no repeats. Exactly, right? And so people are looking at this and they're like, oh, yeah. And apparently the media was, like, crushing Lincoln. Like, not everyone really liked him. And then it was at his death that he was now, like, revered as, like, the greatest guy ever.

Yeah, poshous sort of like. And they sort of, like, look past. Even people in the South that hated him, like, kind of look past all of his shit. So basically, Booth gets away. He runs down to Virginia. And the Union soldiers were basically on his ass immediately. They're like, all right, let's go get him. So, like, they go to all the different people.

They're like, where is this guy? Yeah. Okay. Oh, I didn't even tell you. There were two other co-conspirers that had to kill all these other people, right? Remember that? Yeah. One of the guys.

Axelrod and something else. Exactly. One of the guys goes and takes out, um, goes and takes out seward. The Secretary of State? The Secretary of State gets stabbed, but not killed. Oh, okay. So he's at his house. He's like bedridden and he gets stabbed but survives.

The other guy that was supposed to kill Vice President Johnson gets two anxious. He's like, I don't, I don't know, I don't know, man. That's me. I know. I like hate the union. I'm a Confederate soldier, but I's he drinks himself and gets drunk and then doesn't do it. Takes a nap. That's me. Sleeps through it.

I didn't know. It does rhyme. History does rhyme. Wakes up at 1130 p.m. like, fuck, what happened? And he's just like there and just like, ah, damn it. Yeah. So they all eventually get arrested. Everyone that was even remotely associated gets arrested. The guy that held the horse that didn't know what was going on. He gets arrested.

Nice. So everyone gets arrested. He basically escapes down to Virginia. He's at Garrett's, you know, farm. He's, like, living, like, in a barn, basically. And the union soldiers pull up on him. They're like, all right, come out. Harold, his, like, little co-conspirator, getaway guy, he comes out.

He's like, yeah, you got me. John Wilkespoot is like, nah, fuck that. I'm going out with a, I'm going to fight. Waco. Yeah, so he's literally like, nah, fuck that. They put the barn on fire. Waco. He starts running around like, oh, fuck, they're going to kill me.

And then he gets shot, despite orders to get taken a lot. the guy that shot him, a union soldier that killed him, was supposed to take him alive. And he eventually got, like, reprimanded. Like, people were pissed at him. Kills John Wilkes Booth. He dies in this barn. They pull his body out of, like, the burning barn.

And his last words were, he basically says, tell my mother, I die from my country, holds his hands to his face, and then says, useless, useless. He was 26 years old. I mean, he's got a great, I mean, he is an actor. He's got a great presence. Right?

Yeah. Enigmatic. You know what I mean? Animated. Angers. Scene stealer. Yeah. A real scene dealer, right?

So he writes a letter to his sister, which also this part is crazy. He writes a letter to her before all this happens. And like days before it. And it's like, don't open this until I'm dead. And she's like, okay. Doesn't open it until he's, like, I was like, if someone in my family gave me a letter said, don't over this until I'm dead, I'm immediately opening it. Well, that's not the instructions.

Don't open until Christmas. No, you open it. If someone's saying, hey, don't open this until I'm dead, I'm like, oh. Yeah, until I'm dead is an insane. Give me a time. Wow. Give me a year or something. You're just going to say, oh, don't open this ever.

I'd be like, what does that even mean? That's wild. So is that. She opens it, and this is what it says. I know how foolish I shall be deemed for undertaking such a step as this, where on one side, I have many friends and everything to make me happy to give it all up. Seems insane. But God is my judge. I love justice more than I do my country that disowns it more than fame or wealth.

Like, he was just like so. It's well written and like. Good. Yeah, he's a smart guy, a good author. But like, so compelled by this like dumb cause that he was like, yeah, I'm going to just throw everything away. Crazy. Was he painting houses? Anything lead related?

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Like, what the hell? Yeah, that sucks. And he was just like, dude, he's a famous actor. He asked me to like watch his car. Yeah, basically. And he killed someone and ran away. Like, what? Yeah, I was just holding the Porsche.

So here's where it gets crazy. That was the end of John Wilkes booth, right? Yeah. Or was it? Some people believe There's a conspiracy of foot Even at Lincoln's assassination Remember Andrew Jackson had his old conspiracy

He was like oh they tried to take me out Lincoln again everyone's like Oh this was a this was a like a confirmed hit Okay they try to take him out Basically they think that a booth lookalike Was mistakenly killed at the barn And that John Wilkes booth eventually fled To like Japan or England

Okay And apparently there was a guy in 1903 that on his deathbed He was like I'm the real John Wilkes booth apparently John Wilkes Booth's body was identified by like 10 members of his family his mother his brother his brother da-da-da yeah he's a younger brother not the one that cut him off and they all said yeah it's him but then you gotta think maybe they knew it wasn't him and they're like wait my boy's still alive okay okay let me just let this guy take the fall

yeah and then he's all probably burned up and shit maybe yeah and then they can be like yo my son is alive somewhere yeah so the death you know like autopsy looking at them they're like Apparently he had a tattoo. Cool. Which, I got a sake of the time, right? Apparently he had a tattoo that they used to identify him, but then people were like, no, no, no, no. The tattoo was added.

Okay. And here's why it was added. So, some people believe that there's a guy named Edwin Stanton. He's Lincoln's Secretary of State. Okay. If all three of these people in this plot had died, who would have been the new president? The Speaker of the House.

At the time, it was Edwin Stanton. Okay. He would have taken over the role. Got it. I think. Especially in the time of like non-peace or whatever. Yeah. There would have been like some type of order.

Got it. Placed over everything. So he had an incentive. And then furthermore, apparently, Edwin Stanton hated the reconstruction policy that Lincoln had put forward after the Civil War. So he was like, look, I'm down for like, you know, abolishing slavery, but you're going to destroy our economy. You're being super favorable to the South. You're going to use all of our resources up here to go help. the South.

Got it. And you're not thinking about us at all. Like, you're going to, you're going to destroy the economy. So some people believe that this guy was actually behind the assassination, that he and Booth and a couple other people had actually, like, gotten together and created this plot to kidnap Lincoln.

So when Link was assassinated, Edwin Stanton apparently panicked. He was like, oh, shit. He runs out the house. His wife's like, babe, where are you going? And he's like, oh, I got to go check on something. Goes to the house to see Lincoln basically, like, dead. And then immediately goes to the theater. as the story goes again this is not proven this is a conspiracy but i'll tell it to his folklore he goes to

the theater and gets a hold of john wilkes booth jacket what's inside his jacket the infamous diary that we've been mentioning the diary is like chronicled with everything all of his things all his manifesto how he loves the south da da da da da da and in the diary there's 13 pages that are ripped out okay people believe that edwin stanton again was working with john wilkes booth found the diary found all the pages that referenced him ripped it out put the diary back in his jacket. And this was like super popular as a theory. It became a book and it became a movie in like the 70s,

the Lincoln conspiracy. And this again was another conspiracy that was tied up with this whole thing that John Wilkespoot was actually alive. He made it away. A different guy, a double agent actually in the Civil War from the North and the South. He was the one that took the fall just by happenstance. And that Stanton was involved and eventually like took out his name from the annals of his diary. Wild.

Crazy, right? Yeah. So Lincoln's son. The one that saw his dad get killed, right? Yeah. Two years or like a year before his dad's assassination, he's on a train car. And basically, he's like trying to get on this platform

and there's a bunch of people on the train and he like falls below like the platform, like head first and he's stuck. And he's like facing imminent death, basically. Like if the train starts moving, da-da-da, he's about to die. And someone grabs him by the collar and pulls him up. Okay. Who is it?

John Wilkes Booth's brother, Edwin Booth. Nice. The famous actor. Edwin saves Tad. He saves Robert Tad Booth. Yeah. Robert Tad Lincoln. Got it.

Saves his life. Yeah. And obviously Robert Lincoln is like, dude, you just saved me. Yeah. Edwin? Thank you so much, bro. And like, they embrace and he's like, great to see you. I'll go, you save my life.

Thank you so much. He eventually, he got like a letter from like the president or some shit or like from someone in the government basically being like, thank you for saving Robert's life. Like it was like a thing. Okay. And like Robert Booth or Robert Lincoln, and wrote about it, he was like, dude, this guy saved my life. Isn't that awesome?

Yeah. A year later, the brother of Edwin Booth goes on to kill the father of Robert Lincoln. Crazy, crazy coincidence. It's just insane. This would be like the equivalent of like if Chris Hemworth, Chris Hemsworth pulled Ivanka from like a burning car. Yeah. And then a year later, Liam Hemsworth killed Donald Trump. Oh, wow.

It'd be like, what are the odds? Like, this guy's so, like, it's like, there's no way this is. real. So, Edwin Booth apparently saved Robert Lincoln's life on a train. Did you come up with that comparison or no? I found it. Okay. Because I know you didn't know. Pretty good. It was well done because Chris is more famous and Liam and that. I mean, that's really well done. Solid, right? Yeah. Whoever came up with that. Good for them. Nailed it. So what happened to Evan Booth, right? Yeah. His brother just killed the guy. He's one of the most famous actors in America. Yeah, I always wonder what happens these like brothers and things like that. It takes a year off stage. He's like, you know what? I'm

going to chill for a little bit. Makes sense. Take some time off. comes back and returns in Hamlet performing on stage. Da-da-da. Some people hate him. Edwin Booth, the brother, has an assassination attempt on him while he's on stage. Okay. Apparently over a personal dispute is what I read, but apparently mad people were trying to kill him. So they were like...

1800s were awesome. Crazy. Just get shot for sort of an argument. Crazy, right? Yeah. So he ends up going on to like found the players in New York City. And they have a statue of... him inside like the player society in new york city got and there's that giant statue of william shakespeare

and central park that was funded by all the brothers production hmm that's lincoln pretty wild right yeah fast forward 16 years who do we got james garfield okay you were going to get there yeah i was during the math 1870 this was 1881 1881 there you go that's what i meant to say basically james Garfield's assassinated. This one no one knows about I feel like in U.S. history. Like, you know about Lincoln. Yeah. You know about Kennedy. Garfield McKinley no one know about. And it's fascinating. Okay.

Basically, there's this guy, Gitoe. He's just like a loser. His life sucks. High school dropout. He like joined a religious commune that had like group marriages. It's basically like a free love, like little like bang fest. And he gets rejected from the free love bang fest. That's hilarious. That's very funny.

They call him Charles Get Out. I mean, not a great pun, but it's Awesome. It's good, right? That's great. His own father disowns him. He leaves town. He tries to become a lawyer.

He can't really get into law school. He gets involved in, like, the Bible. He becomes like a preacher. It goes around town, like preaching the gospel. The craziest thing that happens is that he's starting to lose his mind. This guy could tell, right? His mind's starting to go. Social isolation.

He's got some problems. He just can't really assimilate into society. He's on a boat. And the boat crashes with another boat. His boat. Where at? I don't know. Some place where boats are.

The ocean? Maybe the ocean. Chesapeake Bay, I'm guessing. I had no idea. Let's check it out. If it is that, I'll buy you a hind again. Great. He basically crashes in with his boat, right? He's on his giant boat. His boat's fine. Everyone on the other boat basically dies. Oh, weird. So he has this like near-death experience where he goes, I'm divinely inspired for something in life. My life is actually not useless. God saved him. God saved me. I was divinely spared.

So he gets involved in politics. Of course. He becomes a supporter of Garfield, James Garfield. He's like, God, his back. He's like writing on his behalf. He's like distributing manuscripts at the Republican National Convention being like, yo, vote for Garfield. This guy's awesome. He's the best. Garfield gets elected. And now he's like, yo, I made you president. Again, this guy's crazy. He's like, yo, I made you president. Like, well, it's good.

At the time, what's really interesting is they had this thing called the patronage system in the U.S. This was like a really popular thing. It's also called the spoil system. Or basically, if you're a president and you get elected, you can just make people that supported you a part of your cabinet. Okay. So it's not like merit base. It's not like, oh, you're a lawyer. You're going to be a chief justice.

It's just like, oh, you're my boy that helped me out. Okay. People call like cronyism, nepotism, sure. At the time, it's really popular. It was basically done all the way up until Garfield. It makes sense. Garfield try to get rid of it. Okay.

And this made Gatot furious. Got it. So he's like, yeah, I should get a spot. So at the beginning of the presidency for Garfield, he's going in there every single day. There's like a line around the building to basically get a spot, to become a minister of something, to become a consulate of something,

become a diplomat, da, that da-da-da-da. People are lined up around the block. So he's like, yo, it's make me something. He comes up in his mind. He's like, oh, I want to be the consulate to Vienna. He goes, no, no, no, wait. Actually, I want to be the diplomat to Paris. I should be the minister of France. That's great. So he goes in there and he's like, yo, Garfield, what's up, baby? I wrote all the shit. I made you elected. Yeah, let me go live in France. He gets rejected. Okay. Once, twice, five times, 12 times. Eventually, like, Garfield and all of his boys in the, you know, government were like, like, Like, yo, stop talking to us. I don't want to ever see you again. Get out.

Get out again. He gets, this is like his fifth get out. He's like faced a life of rejection. Okay. How do you think he handles it? Probably well. Not great. So, what does he do?

He goes to sleep and gets a message from God. Love this. That's good, right? Yeah, usually. Don't you love it when you get a little dream from God? What died constantly? What do you think God would tell you in a dream? Do you think he would be like, oh, like, you know, take care of people, donate to charity or something?

Probably. something like that. His message was basically to kill the president. His message from God was, hey, go kill the president and get Vice President Chester Arthur, a stalwart Republican. Get him to be president. That's what you need to do. God's orders.

Got it. He wakes up and he's like, all right, that's what it is. So he goes out, he buys a gun. This is a wild little detail. He basically has the option at the gun shop to buy a wood gun or an ivory gun. and he goes, which one would look better in a museum? And picks the ivory gun so that it would look better in a museum. Good forethought.

Ironically, the gun eventually gets lost and no one actually knows where it is. It's going to be on Pond Star. It's probably in like two years. So he had the chance to kill him to kill Garfield once. He was like tracking his movements. Like they sometimes put in the papers like, oh, the president will be in our town. He'll be on a train. But his wife was in poor health.

And he was like, I don't want to kill this guy while his wife is saying. I don't want to make her sad. Kind. He still has decorum. You know, you don't want to make the first lady sad. I like this guy. So he's like, all right, I'm going to wait. The president, President Garfield was supposed to go from D.C.

to visit his wife in Jersey where she was kind of like, you know, taking care of herself and trying to get her health better. And the shooter was like, all right, today is the day. He goes and gets his shoes shined because he's like, there's going to be, you know, they're going to talk about me in the paper. I got to look good. Again, this guy is like insane. Goes and gets his shoes shined. He's like, all right. Again, this is like the infamy shit we were talking about like the guy that tried to kill Trump.

He's like, this is my debut. Watch has it unfold. Yeah. Gets a shoe shine, gets a pretty gun, and goes up, he shoots him, basically right in the stomach and says, I am stalwart of the stalwarts. Arthur is president now. Again, stalwart was like a faction within republicanism. And he was like, people are going to love me. Yeah.

I just killed the guy that God told me to kill. On the train? On the platform of the train as he was going on. Okay. Here's the crazy thing. The shooting's non-fatal. Doesn't hit any internal organs. I think it gets two bullets into him.

Wow. No internal organs. he's like basically like kind of fine despite being shot the doctors start to stick their fingers and instruments into him so he shoots him he gets tackled he's like just taken out of the picture he's gone get toes on the ground he's like in handcuffs like everyone's taking care of him beating the shit out of him

and then the doctors immediately start putting their fingers into Garfield on the platform try to dig the bullet out so there's like yeah getting in there Platform penetration. Literally, just like penetrating the dude on like the D train. Wild.

Just like trying to figure it out. That's awesome. So they're getting their fingers and they got like instruments like sticking it into them, the whole thing. It's a nightmare. Here's the craziest thing. Yeah. Guess who was on the platform with him at the time that he's assassinated that calls up the doctor? Robert Tad Lincoln.

I was trying to think of the name. He sees the second president. This is like 20 something years later. He sees another president get assassinated. Oh, this is wild. Crazy, right? Yeah. And it gets.

even crazier. We'll get to that in a second. So he basically sees this guy get shot and he goes, oh, fuck, call the doctor. Guess which doctor they called? Lincoln summons D. Willard Bliss. Francis Scott Keys. No. Ah, damn it. Guess what the D. of D. Willard Bliss stands for.

I'll let you say it. Doctor. Oh, well. His first name is doctor. Oh, that's awesome. But Dr. Willard Bliss. D. Willard Bliss is apparently super arrogant. He's kind of like a dickhead.

Yeah. there's like rumors that germs exist at the time there's like this some people are like you know oh yeah Lister comes out and he's like oh I think germs are a thing this doctor's like bad air yeah there's not germs my name's doctor my name's doctor I've never seen a germ my goddamn laugh a germ could walk in here right now I wouldn't recognize him

you know what I mean like he's talking that shit so he's like sticking his fingers into the guy and then for 80 days Garfield is basically like in this hospital in the heat just burning alive, infection riddling his body. And this doctor's like, I'm the only one that can see him. I'm going to fix this man. I'm getting these bullets out.

They can't get the bullets out. He's kind of obese, this guy, Garfield. I think magnets would work. Well, this is where you might be on to something here. Not exactly magnets, but they call Alexander Graham Bell. Phone guy. And they say, hey, use your famous little metal detector that you made and try to find the thing.

Alexander Graham Bell takes the metal detector and starts running it over Garfield's body. He's at the beach. He's an old man. Literally. He's like, beep, here's a crazy thing.

It's beeping the whole time. Oh, no. And he's like, I guess the thing's malfunctioning. They realized later he was laying on a spring mattress. Ah, classic. But they didn't know,

like, yeah. Long story short, 80 days go by, his weight goes from 210 to 130. OZempic. OZempe, basically. OZem before OZembek.

He looks great. It looks awesome. By the time he dies. he's a rail, baby. He looks unbelievable. It just shredded to the gills. People are like, you juicing? Oh, that's so funny.

My man dies. That's it. 80 days later. 80 days later. All right. The country, for the first time since the Civil War, kind of comes together. They are like, damn, our president just died. Like, that sucks.

It actually brings unity amongst the people. Which, again, we can look at some of the shit now. It's like, yeah, this thing might bring some unity. The trial happens. This guy Gatot, this is what's wild. He's in court saying, hey, hey, hey. I didn't kill the president I shot him

yeah this is gonna be my point weirdly enough the doctors killed him it's a tough distinction to make so he's in court being just like a scumbag okay no one wants to represent him because it's like yo you just kill the president the only person that represents him is his sister's husband

okay if you've ever had to do shit for your in-laws yeah it's not the easiest thing in the world now imagine you have to represent your in-law that just killed the president yeah he'd be like oh fuck he's also being like a dick about it. So he's like crazy. He says that he's temporarily insane

because God took away his free will. He became like a media sensation. He would like curse at the judge in the courtroom, which like never happened. He'd be like, yo, fuck you, bitch. He was like Nate Diaz. Awesome. He was like talking shit to the judge.

He would like walk outside the courtroom and like wave to everyone. Like people must love me. Oh, great. Crazy guy. And so he's like talking all this shit. He's like reading poems. He even puts out like an ad in the paper during the trial looking for a under 30 Christian

lady. He was basically oblivious to America's hatred for him. He had no idea. People tried to assassinate him twice because they hated him so much. He would just smile and do his thing. Okay. He gets sentenced to hanging. Oh. All right. And has a great time the whole way. Wild. Gatto's

like just doing his thing. He's having fun. He's dapping people up. He goes onto the gallows dancing and like daps up to execution. He's like, yo, what's so, man? He's just like being like a homie. He's just like on the platform. He basically is just like, whoa, whoa, before you kill me. Can I read my last dying prayer and the execution was like yeah yeah go for it like yeah like no one's ever

done that before i mean if he's been i would be like yeah dude so he just starts freestyling okay on the gallows just like da da da da da and he's basically like uh god inspired the act for which i'm now murdered the government in this nation by this act will incur thy eternal enmity the divine law of retribution will strike this nation and my murderers pull the rug out from under him hangs there, dies. Got it. Immediately, people go and start chopping off the rope for souvenirs. This is the craziest thing about, like, literally.

It's like, they just won a fucking conference championship. They're like, all right, let's take it. Yeah, get on the ladder, cut the fucking nut down. They take the shit. Like, they immediately start parting shit up for, like, for souvenirs. And it's not funny how humans do that. It's hilarious, especially in this time. It seems like everything in this time was, like, souvenir.

It's like every place was Ripley's, believe or not. Yeah. Like, let's just get some weird shit. Yeah. Just show people. even weirder, they do an autopsy on his brain because they think they're going to like see something. Okay. Like, yeah, so look at his brain.

It's probably mushy. Yeah. They look at it that's a regular brain. They're like, damn it. Fuck. All right. We don't believe germs, but maybe there's an ant. Like a devil in there?

There's a leak or something. Who knows? Who knows what's going on there? And basically, he dies. His brain is actually on display at the Mudder Museum in Philadelphia. Oh, great. You can go see it if you want to go see Gatotot's brain. And then Arthur becomes president.

ends up doing a decent job. Okay. Arthur does his thing. Mark Twain even said, it's hard to do better than Arthur did, given the circumstance. That's good. And that was the whole story.

Basically, the guy died from just like people not knowing about germs. But he got his boy in. He technically got what he wanted. And apparently Arthur did kind of what Gatot wanted. Like, Gatot apparently had like all of these like... This guy might be the winner of it all.

He was a crazy guy, but had like some political ideas against Garfield, of course. And Gatow... and Arthur kind of did like a decent job and like kind of like you know help the nation out. Yeah, I think this guy might have won by losing. It's a little crazy, right?

So that's the second president to get assassinated. Fast forward 20 years, William McKinley. 1901. Fuck yeah, dude. Yeah, dude. You crush that. You fucking crush that. Redemption.

So William McKinley, this is not a crazy guy. I mean, he is a little crazy. The only thing I know about him is he has a, the Donali was named after him and he never visited it. That's kind of rude. Yeah. Right?

Yeah. Like if you... I think we should call him President Donali as like a get back retribution. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, if you're not going to go visit the mountain named after you. Yeah.

It's kind of disrespectful. Willie McKinley was unfortunately assassinated on September 6th, 1901, six months into his second term by Leon Colgosh. Two names. Well, it's just a whole name. Well, I'm saying, like, the first guy you mentioned, two names. Yeah.

Three names. Two names? All right. Yeah, I don't know if he had a middle name. That's true. That's true. Yeah, and this guy, Charles Gatot, I don't know his middle name. It's just Jay.

Interesting. Okay. James. I'm going to go with James. Willie McKinley, 20 years later, gets killed by Leon Colgosh. This one is, there is some writing on the wall here. And there's also some crazy three lines we've already talked about that tie into this one too. Yeah, turn of the century, 1901.

What's happening to the turn of century? People are fired up. There's new inventions. Where are these new inventions go? the world's fair yeah the world's fair so they do one in buffalo that sucks yeah that's awful gotta be in buffalo but they're like maybe if we bring some side show shit people would be excited mckinley is like a super gregarious guy he's like doing his thing he's like shaking hands with everybody he just loves just meeting people he just like just wants to be with the people he hated

security he just was like i don't like having police around me i just want to be with the people okay he's gonna come back to bite him in the ass you'll see how so basically McKinley gets elected in like 1896. There's a big economic panic in 1893, and he kind of like shurs up the country. He gets things figured out. He gets Puerto Rico, Guam. He's sort of an imperialist, okay?

That's what his detractors would say. The people that support him are like, no, you know, got Puerto Rico. I like Puerto Ricans. Yeah, do you know what I mean? The reason that your block is so loud is because of William McKinley. There you go. It's all because of him.

So maybe you might agree with Colgouch. I'm going to start calling him McKinley's. Yeah, a couple of McKinley's on the corner. So Colgosh is the son of Polish immigrants Born in America, he's an American citizen During this big economic panic He loses his job Can't figure it out

He's working in a factory He loses it Now he's like homeless He's like a drifter He's kind of dumb He's like Just can't figure a shit out right Find out about this thing called

Anarchism Got it Big political movement at the time This woman Emma Goldman Is like one of the big Proponents of Anarchism And basically he like finds Some of her books

And is like This is the reason I lost my job Yeah It's not because I'm an idiot. Yeah. It's because of, you know, the government, oppressing the people, tyrants. Yeah. Trying to hurt everyone, the working class.

And we need anarchism. Abolish the government. Okay. Let everyone just do whatever they want. It could basically give me power, more or less. And at the time, anarchists had done up, like, a bunch of terror attacks. Okay. So Colgosh is doing his thing.

He ends up actually even getting close to Emma Goldman, this, like, big author that's, like, touting this idea and, like, kind of start stalking her. And she's, like, concerned about him. But they end up writing in a carriage together two, the train station one day, like just talking about anarchism. And she gets off and she's like, that guy's fucking weird, right? Yeah. Again, all of these people are kind of social rejects.

Yeah. They're either just crazy in social rejects or just social rejects and pissed off and like try to like make a name for themselves or like have power in some other way. Yeah, I think it's hard to have friends and like social commitments and also. Want to just end your life. Yeah. And like have time to just ruminate on like what you're going to do to a powerful person. Yeah.

If like someone's like, dude, do you want to. want to go get drinks and watch the game? He's like, oh, I'm just mad about McKinley. Yeah. He's like, what? The Yankees are playing. McKinley's a press in a working class. Yeah, it's a loser.

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that they're going to be doing in Buffalo, and he's living there at the time. The World's Fair is coming. And McKinley is going to be doing a big, like, weekend. He's going to go there. He's going to do a speech. He's going to go there and meet every single person basically at the fair. Meant greet. Literally doing like, and like 150,000 people are at this thing. It's like packed. And he's going to do a meeting group with like 60,000 people. Far. Like insane. He just loved just being out there with the people. Dot it up. So,

historic numbers. Hang the banner. Right. That's what I'm saying, dude. So McKinley gets to Buffalo. This is again, another weird piece of irony that always shows up with these things. I don't know if it's premonitions or what, but like every single time the president gets assassinated, there's like weird things that happened. Okay. Oh, a weird little detail that I actually didn't tell you about Garfield, the guy just before. Yeah.

Remember how Robert Lincoln, Lincoln's son, was on the platform? Yeah. He was telling Garfield the night before about his father's assassination. Whoa. Garfield was like, so, Robert, what was it like when your dad was killed? He was like, well, it was like this and da-da-da-da, and this thing happened. Like the next day, he gets assassinated. Well, shot.

No, Garfield died. 80 days later. Yeah, okay. All right, fine. I'm glad you're listening. Jesus. Paying attention. McKinley gets to Buffalo.

He's on the train with his wife. And when he pulls into the train station, they're like, oh, we're going to do the sick thing. We're going to light a cannon and blow this cannon up to be like, the president's here, sake. That's fire. Do you a fucking dive through the table. The Buffalo Bills are there in full force. Bill's mafia is like, dude, light the cannon. That's awesome.

So literally, he pulls up to the train station. They light the cannon. too close to the fucking train. Uh-oh. It explodes and blows out like 20 windows on the train. Like the glass breaks in. The president's like fucking hit with glass. His wife is like, what the fuck is going on?

People in the crowd are like, it's anarchist. Ah, interesting. And they're like, they thought it was a bomb. Loki, I think that guy said it was a joke. Yeah. It's probably some frat dude going to Buffalo. And he's like, dude, anarchist, right? Am I right?

Yeah, exactly. And everyone's like, yeah. So then McKinley like, gets glass and he's like oh fuck this shit and his wife's like babe be careful and he's like bitch I got this walks out on the platform he's like I'm here yeah mckenley's here and they're like cheering him on mckinley mcquanley and he walks out he's like dapping people up cold gosh is there yeah his future assassin is sitting there like with a gun he's like I'm not close enough and he's like oh the disturbance from the cannon like fucking riled people up people are going to be on guard like

damn i lost my chance so then mckinley goes back to his house died da-da-da-da-da, and they have these two things set up, the speech, and then the giant meet-and-grate. McKinley's, like, closest aid, I think he was a secretary at the time, was basically like, don't do the meeting-and-grit. You saw what happened to Garfield. You saw what happened to Lincoln. Don't do the meeting-and-grit. He's like, I'm going to do the meeting-grit. His secretary pulls the meet-and-grit off of the schedule.

Yeah. Garfield, or McKinley puts it back on. Pulls it off the schedule again. Wow. McKinley puts it back on. Wow. Literally two times the secretary was like, it's not worth it. And he goes, come on.

What's the worst that could happen? Literally, words that he said to his secretary, why should I? No one would wish to hurt me. I guess we'll see. So he does a speech, thousands of people are there, kills it with a speech, everyone loves it. Colgosh is there again, like near the front,

but not close enough. Crushes. Ah, damn. Yeah, just like destroying. Destroying, dude. And he's like, damn, I wish I could just, I can't reach him. Yeah.

So he goes to bed. He's like, damn. in his hotel room. Another day goes by now it's time for the meet and greet. You got to get there by 830. There's a huge line and if you're not one of the 50,000 people in there, you're not going to meet him. So it's the first 50,000. So Colgosh gets ready. He gets there just in time.

He makes one of the last people and he's in the room. He's not even in the room. He's in this giant place ready to meet McKinley. Everyone's going up. McKinley's shaking hands. Apparently he could shake 50 hands a minute. Damn. People just come up and he'd be like, thank you very much. Thank you very much. And it's just quick. Boom, boom, boom.

He's got police and like military people all around him. He's got like a bunch of like trees and stuff like set up and like bushes and things so that people can like hide behind it. Like there's like legit security at this. Okay. Because they know about these other assassination attempts. And the secretary that wanted to get it off the schedule was like, let's beef up the security.

Let's get a bunch of people in there. Okay. So he's meeting all these people. And then he gets stopped because there's a 12 year old girl that walks up to him. And McKinley was infamous for having this red carnation on his lapel. And it was just like sitting right there and it was like his good luck charm. And this 12 year old girl sees it. with her mom, and she's like,

present, such a pretty carnation. And he goes, here you go, dear, you have it. Gives it to the girl. His good luck charm. Yeah, it takes it off. A couple people later, you have people coming up. And again, everyone has to come to the president with their hands open.

That's like the rule. You have to have your hands open. Security will brief you before, be like, open your hands. And you walk up to the president with your hands open, shake his hand, and they get moving. During this day, it was super hot in Buffalo.

So at the time, people basically have handkerchiefs. It was hot when they're getting killed. It's summertime. Okay. You don't want to kill someone in the winter. And also, I don't imagine you do outdoor events in the winter. All right, fine. You know what I mean?

So then you got to get inside. That's true. So, and you can't escape inside. It's true. I'm just putting this together right now. I'm like, yeah, this makes a ton of sense, actually. Yeah, you're doing great. So basically, McKinley's out here meeting all these people.

And at the time, it was super hot. So people would put handkerchiefs around their hands to, like, wipe their forehead. It was like a thing. All right. And people are like, all right. It's super hot. Everyone's in suits and hats. Getting ready for boxing?

Yeah. Just like on the one hand, wiping their forehead. So Colgosh walks up to McKinley. He's got his hand wrapped. Yeah. And he looks at his hand and he assumes like, oh, he must be injured. So he goes to shake his hand with his right hand. McKinley shakes his hand.

And then immediately, Colgosh has the gun hidden underneath the handkerchief. Shoots him. Bang. Shitty magic, jerk. No doves? No. No, just a gun. Yeah.

He tries to kill the president with. And eventually we'll find out succeeds. He shoots him. He gets tacked. Calgosh goes, I done my duty. McKinley kind of falls back. They catch him. They get a chair for him.

They put him in the chair. And he starts insisting that he's fine. McKinley's like, no, no, I'm good. I'm good. It's fine. Like, there's no problem. Everything's good.

He insists that he's fine. And then sees Colgosh getting beat up and goes, guys, guys, guys, come on. Don't, don't beat him up. Okay. He didn't mean it. And literally orders the crowd to stop beating the shit out of this guy. Wow.

Different than Andrew Jackson. Andrew Jackson would be like, yo, fucking. Yeah. Give me the gun, bro. Let's go aside. Let's run the ones real quick. Yeah, fist cuffs.

30 seconds. You know what I mean? Let's run a fade. But no, no, no. McKinley goes, yo, let's chill. It's fine. He orders the beating to stop. And then all of a sudden he thinks of his wife first.

After he just got shot. He goes, yo, protect that guy. And then tells his secretary, he goes, yo, tell my wife to be careful. Hmm. She's not there at the time. He goes and tells him, goes, they go and tell her,

like, yo, be careful. Your husband just got shot. Yeah. And then their whole love affair actually is really sad. I'll explain this to you in a second. It's like super sad. they take him to the medical expo hospital tent

at the Buffalo World's Fair it's a great place to be it there's no doctor there there's no doctor there's only like interns and nurses the nearest doctor that could operate on this is in Niagara Falls they get a telegraph to him

or a telegram and they're like hey you gotta help us like someone just got shot just crazy it's not like a fucking surgeon in Buffalo right there still isn't to this day yeah that's true so they go to Niagara and they go

hey you got to help this guy he just got shot and he goes, I can't do it. I'm in the middle of neck surgery for a woman. If I walk away, she's going to die. Yeah. And they go, you don't understand. It's the president of the United States.

And he stops for a second. He's like, I can't go even for the president of the United States. This is an infamous decision because two weeks later, this same doctor did an identical surgery on a woman that got shot twice. Yeah. And saved her life. He's like, I can't go.

We're doing neck surgery on the Niagara. That's crazy. I'm trying to save a Niagaraan's life. All right, slow down. Is that what you call him? No, I don't think you call him that. A faller. Yeah, faller.

Fallian. Falla. Yeah. He's trying to save their life. Yeah. And he's like, yo, I can't do neck surgery. I can't do surgery on both people. I got to save the woman.

I'm already doing surgery on. I sort of get it. If you're the doctor, what are you going to do? If you're halfway through. Yo, I got to bounce. I got to go do something else. Technically, the president of service above the trolley problem. Yeah.

It's like, do I save a bigger person more influence with it? Yeah. So he decides to stay. McKinley eventually waits there. The nurses try to figure it out. Again, they're kind of like poking and prod in a little bit. They're not as egregious as they were with Garfield, but like they're getting in there. Trying to do their thing.

And then basically McKinley is like laying there a doctor comes. He even says on his gurney as he's there like kind of getting operated on. He goes, ah, he didn't know. Poor fellow what he was doing. He couldn't have. Like McKinley is just like, oh, this guy. So McKinley is the more crazy one of the two. Maybe.

Honestly, maybe. There's an anarchist in this guy that's like, delusional beyond belief. Why did he do that? Why would he want to do that? I'm a good guy. Gun slipped. Right?

Why would he try to shoot me? They had an x-ray machine that they could try to find the bullet at the World's Fair. It was like one of the first x-ray machines ever. That's cool. And they're like, ah, we don't want to use it. It's too experimental.

It's like a sideshow attraction for children. Like, it's, you know, we're going to use it on the president. They didn't use the x-ray machine. This is one of the first presidential assassinations that the telegraph spread around the world. Everyone knew about it. Wow. The problem we're getting shot in the stomach, basically, like, for all of history that guns were invented, is that it penetrates your stomach and then infects all of your internal organs. You get gangrene.

Yeah, you're like large intestine spills out. Yeah. And then you got fecal matter and the body. Crazy infection. You get gangrene and you die. So he dies like relatively soon after. I got to know the exact time. Like a week. And it's really sad. The first lady goes in there and she sees him and she's sobbing crying as he's like in his last breaths.

He's about to die. He's like laying there. He just got shot at this guy Kolgosh. And his wife is sobbing over him and says, I want to go to. Don't go without me. I want to go to. And his reply is just fire. He goes, honey, we are all going.

we are all going. God's will be done, not ours. And with his final ounce of strength, puts his arm around his wife and dies as she sings him a hymn. It's like so sad. That's cute. And then Colgosh basically goes to trial,

doesn't cooperate at all with the lawyers. They try to send priests to go make him convert. He's like, fuck your religion. Fuck everyone. He's just anarchists to the court. Yeah, and just like crazy. He's just like, fuck all this shit, whatever. So then nine days later,

he basically goes to the trial, the jury deliberates for 30 minutes. They said it would have been shorter, but they'd like look at evidence. And he sent us to death by electric chair on October 29th, 1901. Acid's placed in his casket to dissolve the body. Oh, it gets killed.

Yeah, yeah, it gets electric chair and gets put in like a prison graveyard. And that's basically. Got killed. Yeah. Now, here's where it gets crazy. Acid in the group. That's crazy.

Guess who was at the assassination of William McKinley? Fucking Tad, dude. Robert Tad Lincoln. God, dude. was at the next building. And he heard something. He was like, what was everyone talking about?

And he go, oh, President McKinley just got assassinated. And he's like, what the fuck? Wow. Robert Lincoln's life is crazy. He's seeing three presidents get assassinated at this point. Only, the only three that have ever been assassinated, he's at all of them. Every person in the 1800s had a crazy life. You read just any historical, like any baseball player.

They're like, well, he invented penicillin, and then he also played baseball. and then he, you know, was on the railroads. Like, they all have insane lives. Yeah. And Tad sounds like he's got the craziest of the mole. Crazy, right? Yeah. He's just in there just watching McKinley get killed you.

And literally, he writes in his book. I think he does like a memoir later. And he's like, I don't go to the White House anymore because I'm a bad luck woman for presidents. He's like, I don't have me around. And his life is actually kind of tragic. He ends up telling a biographer. He's like, none of these presidents wanted me.

You know, they didn't want Robert Lincoln in their cabinet. They didn't want Robert Lincoln on their staff. The CEOs of these companies, they didn't want me on their boards. They wanted Abraham Lincoln's son. And he kind of lives almost like this tragic kind of life, like kind of living in the shadow of like his father that is like, you know, you can't even get close to. House the Dragon shit. This is awesome. This is real life.

It's crazy, right? So that's that. One good thing that comes out of this, the Secret Service is invented. Out of the IRS, correct? Or no, the Treasury. No, I don't know. Yeah. Secret Service weirdly investigates count.

Interfit money schemes a lot because they came out of like the Treasury. That's cool. Yeah, weird, right? Yeah. So sometimes still today, the Secret Service will, like, find the plates that they're making, like, $100 bills on in, like, Pennsylvania or whatever the fuck the thing is. Whoa. Like, oh, they're doing two times. They're doing two things.

It's kind of cool. Yeah. So, long story short, that's what happens to McKinley. Yeah. He goes out from this anarchist, cold gosh. And that's his life. Wild. Bummer, right?

Lincoln's been at all of them. And then we got Teddy Roosevelt. He doesn't get killed, but he doesn't get shot. Yeah, Teddy. And this one's kind of cool. So October 14th, 1912, again, Teddy Roosevelt is McKinley's VP. Yeah. He becomes president directly after McKinley gets killed.

This is how he gets more terms. So he gets two terms and then steps down. Yeah. Taft takes over and he doesn't like Taft. And then he goes, I'm going to run for re-election. Yeah. Let's get after it. Yeah, this is the third term thing.

So he tries to get him for the third term. term. Basically, this guy, John shrank, mentally unstable, literally just a crazy guy. He believed that no one should serve three terms as the president and thought that Roosevelt's candidacy was a threat to American democracy because he was going to set up a dictatorship. Again, just an insane person, like, had

his diagnosis. That's not the craziest thing in the world. Diagnosed was schizophrenia. And he was like, all right, I'm going to take him out. He had a dream, again, another dream. God. From President McKinley, who was just killed, right? The guy we were just talking about, like 11 years earlier. Yeah. And he was like,

like, hey, avenge my death. 1912. We can't have a murderer in the seat of the president. Avenge my death. This is the man who killed me. And he sees Theodore Roosevelt in his dream. And President McKinley is like, that's the guy that took me

out. Again, there's no connection between Deidore Roosevelt's like conspiracy. Nothing that I found that he was plotting. But this guy, shrank, was like, I'm going to take him out. Guess his dream? And he goes, all right, showtime. He pulls up at the hotel. in Milwaukee where Teddy Roosevelt's about to go, you know, get a limo to do a speech,

takes out a gun, points it, right at Teddy Roosevelt. Again, Secret Service is around, but he just does it real quick as he's leaving the hotel right into the, right into the car, pops out, shoots him in the chest, bang. Teddy Roosevelt doesn't even flinch. He gets shot right in the chest and just looks down and he goes, huh, coughs two times. Because again, Teddy Roosevelt is like a man, man, he's like a hunter, he's like super into anatomy. type shit, coughs to see if there's blood, to see if it actually punctured his lungs or anything.

Yeah. No blood. Wild. And so then the guy goes, President, are you shot? And President Roosevelt infamously says, he pinked me, Harry.

Wow. Yeah, he didn't make me bleed. I'm not bloody, but he pinked me. Yeah, tis but a flesh wound. Type, literally, it's like Monty Python. Yeah. So Roosevelt, again, just like all the other presidents,

sees the guy get the shit beat out of him. And Roosevelt says, don't hurt him. Bring him here. I want to see him. Oh, wow. And it tells the crowd to stop beating up this guy, Shrank that tried to kill him.

Again, he, like, just checks himself out. He's like, I'm good. They go, hey, you got to go to the hospital. He goes, I got a speech. Yeah. You got a speech in like 20 minutes. What are you talking about? I'm going to go to the hospital.

I'm going to miss my speech. Yeah. I mean, we can't postpone the speech. Goes up on stage and delivers an 84-minute speech with blood dripping out of his shirt after just getting shot. Wow. Again, he looks for the bullet, can't find it. Seize the entry wound, but no exit wound.

And he goes, oh, the bullet's inside me somewhere. Does an 84 minute speech? I have a conspiracy. Trump just did a 90 minute speech for his acceptance speech. To try to top Teddy Roosevelt. Literally, I think he probably heard it was 84 minutes. I'm just being crazy here. That's a great theory.

He was like, okay, this guy did a speech with a bullet wound. It was 84 minutes. I also got a bullet wound. And I'm going to do 90. How about 90? That's far. Okay. That's a great theory.

I really like that. I just picked that up. 84 minutes does the speech. As he's doing the speech, He's literally dropping pages of his speech. Now, what's important about the speech is the reason that this bullet wound didn't just go straight through and make him bleed out is because when it hit him in the chest, he had his 50-page speech in his breast pocket and his eyeglass case. It was a metal eyeglass case in his breast pocket. Get shot.

It hits the speech, all 50 pages, hits the eyeglass case, goes into his body, and then never comes out. Wow. It broke up the bullet good enough that it didn't actually kill him. This is like when you see that bullet. with like the hole in it and there was like some Confederate guy had like a... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or like a cop that gets shot in his badge, saves him. Yeah. Just happened to shoot him right in the little area on his breast that he had all of his shit. Wow.

So now his speech has a bullet hole through the whole thing. Gives the whole speech reading it page by page and as he's finishing each page drops it. Every page. Drops each page and you can see

the bullet hole in each thing. And he even says while he's on stage, he says it like a thousand times, but he says it while he's on stage. Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot. But it takes more than that to kill a bull moose. Everyone goes crazy. And he says like a bunch of times.

He's like, oh, please, please, quiet down, quiet down. Ladies and gentlemen, I've just been shot. Oh. Like during the whole speech, finishes the speech, goes to the hospital, they look at it and they're like, yeah, dude, the bullet, I don't know if we can get it. We killed a couple other guys trying to get it out. And the science at the time was basically like a bullet that's not moving, can't hurt anyone. Yeah. So they're like, just leave it.

Which, funny enough. Is that still the science? Feels like it's still the science. Makes sense, right? Yeah. I mean, I talked to a guy on the pod. What was the name? Jimmy Sue.

Had one in him. Bighead. He got shot and the bullet eventually after like years made its way out. Oh, yeah, they like wiggle out. Yeah. Right. Your body like rejects it. Weird.

Which, again, I'm pretty sure had Garfield, had they not been like messing with him. Like, had they done nothing? He might have survived. You know what I mean? Isn't that crazy? Like, because of the infection that the doctors did. How they just did nothing, like they do with Teddy Roosevelt, he might have lived.

So, long story short, shrank, the guy that shot him, but basically just says, I did it because I opposed the third term. Don't talk to me. I will not say anything until tomorrow. I'm tired. Diagnosed is schizophrenic, and he's afraid he's going to start a dictatorship. McKinley told him to kill him. And he's found not guilty.

Oh, wow. On terms of insanity. Sent to a mental hospital died 29 years later. What's crazy about this is like, obviously, you know, Trump has this attempt. and his polling numbers seem up and the whole country is like fired up right now. Teddy Roosevelt didn't win this re-election. He didn't win the third term.

Woodrow Wilson ended up beating Teddy and Taft. Huh. Kind of interesting. Yeah, I wonder if they were just like, hey, dude, you don't get three of these. Yeah. I don't know. People were just like, yeah,

I don't know the exact reason why they thought Wilson was better, but that was it. Huh. And then we got another attempt. Well, he wasn't killed. Like the guy, that's wild. He was found not guilty by insanity. Yeah.

It's wild. Because the other guys were all crazy also. Yeah. But they found him not guilty. Now, there's one more attempt before we get to JFK. Okay. FDR. This might be my favorite one of the whole thing.

Okay. This one is fascinating. So FDR gets an assassination attempt at this guy, Giuseppe Zengara. He's like an Italian immigrant. He comes to America. It doesn't speak any English as well. Is that Italian? Zengar.

What is in Garra? Comes to America. He doesn't really speak in English. He's like a bricklayer. He's like barely literate. Like he's like, he's five foot maybe like four nine. Short king. He's just the short king is, you know, he's doing his best.

He's just kind of along for the ride. February 15th, 1933, Miami, Florida. Basically this guy. This is again, this. We get one. Yeah. Florida. Kind of cool, right?

All right. This is just the official story. Yeah. There's a lot of conspiracy around this. Nice. So I'll give you the way it. actually kind of the way that's the narrative is set. Giuseppe Zengar an anarchist had a deep-seated hatred for political leaders,

and he blamed his personal suffering as a bricklayer on the economic hardships of the Great Depression. During a speech by Roosevelt at Bayfront Park, Zengar fired several shots but missed Roosevelt and instead wounded five others, including the Chicago mayor Anton Sermak, who later died from his injuries. So he gets one body. One body. Wow. Now, as the legend goes, that might have been the only body,

he actually wanted to get. So, this is where it gets a little wild, okay? Basically, this guy's Angara, okay? It's never been concluded exactly who his target was. He never really said,

he just said, I hate the government. Most people assume that he was shooting at the president-elect, you know, FDR. Another theory is that he may have been attempting

to take down the mayor of Chicago, Sermak, at the behest of Al Capone and this guy, Frank Nitty of the Chicago outfit of the mob in Chicago. Wow. Crazy.

So this is kind of how the story goes and why some people think that the conspiracy had, you know, has some merit. Yeah. So this tiny guy stands up and like he shoots da-da-da-da-da. At the scene, I think they find seven bullets. But the thing is, his gun only holds six. Yeah. And he only fired like five.

Oh, interesting. So it's like a weird, weird situation. It's like, what's going on? And apparently this guy, Zengara, served like 16 years in the Italian army and was like an expert marksman. Oh, wow. Again, as the legend has it. Again, this is not confirmed. This is conspiratorial.

I'm telling you to us folklore. Here's what the legend is. This guy, Zengara, was working in Miami. And he basically was looking for money. Again, he's just not like a sharp guy. He can't make any money. He's addicted to gambling. And as a result of being addicted to gambling, he gets involved with mob guys.

The mob guys see him and he's like low on cash. He's like got some debts. And all of a sudden this guy comes to him and says, hey, how would you run some drugs up north? Yeah. So he starts kind of like moving product for the mob. And he gets paid for the drugs that then he has to deliver obviously to the mob. Yep. What do you think this guy does?

Doesn't give the money to the mob. Oh, interesting. And then gambles it all away. Nice. And so then the mob catches up with him. Yeah. And they go, hey, where's the money? our money and he goes, I mean, no have no money.

I don't have it. I don't know where the money went. And they go, well, that's a problem. Yeah, it's a huge problem. So now, you have a couple options. Either we kill you or we kill you. And then one of the guys, like one of the captains, kind of grabs them on the shoulder and goes, hey, hey. We have that one

job that needs to get done. Isn't the mayor of Chicago that's fucking up our whole life going to be in Miami in like two weeks? Yeah. And he's like, yeah, he is. And he goes, why don't we have this kill him. So basically they tell Zengar, hey, either we kill you or you have to kill Cermak, the mayor of Chicago, and you can plead insanity. Florida has like really lacks

like insanity laws, especially at the time. You can just maybe run away. You know, you can try to get out of it. You can try to beat the case. Like you have options. So you either get killed or you do your best to, you know, make it out. And if you don't kill this guy, we're going to kill you. Yeah. And so he's like, all right, fine, I'll do it. So, At the event, basically, like FDR and Sermak are giving like a speech impromptu out of like the back of a car, basically. And Roosevelt talks for like 15 minutes. Zengar just sits there the whole time, doesn't pull the trigger once. He's just chilling.

And he's just sitting there doing nothing. And then as soon as Anton Sermak actually walks towards FDR at the end of his speech, that's when he shoots. Interesting. So he shoots all these bullets, apparently hits Sermak right where it's fatal. kills him. Okay. And then the mob has other people in the crowd and they're like, hey, we're going to wait until Zangara actually takes a shot. And then once he takes a shot, we're going to kill Zengara. They apparently shoot his Angara and miss. Wild. And then the mobsters that shoot at him, and their cover is going to basically be like, hey, we kill him and run away.

Or if they catch us, we'll be like, yeah, we were pissed off and we wanted to get our get back because this guy tried to kill the president. And it's a perfect cover because it's right next to the president-elect FDR. Yeah, law-abiding citizen. Right. So he basically shoots at the president, he misses, hits the mayor of Chicago. He ends up, he gets charged for attempted murder because he didn't die right away. The mayor of Chicago, like eventually kind of the same story, gets infection and dies much later. And then does he get FDR at all?

Nope. Wow. Doesn't get touched. Wow. And then Zengar basically goes to trial. He gets sentenced. He's like a goofball the whole time. Like, again, speaks no English, doesn't really cooperate with anyone.

And there's disputed. he gets given the electric chair and his last words are disputed. Either he said like Viva Italia like Viva the Mafia. Yeah. Either he says that or he says Viva Italia, goodbye, poor people everywhere.

And then says push the button, go ahead. Push the button. Push the button. And then he's just like, he doesn't give a shit basically. He's just like, I'm not afraid of the chair. You guys are whatever. Like kill me if you want.

And he never really confirms why he tried to shoot at FDR or why he wants. wanted to shoot at Sermak. It never really comes up. But apparently he does have like tacit connections to the mob. Pretty crazy. Now from this, a weird thing happens.

He gets put in the death cell to get electrocuted. But someone else is already in the death cell. And there's like a line of people that have to be executed at the time. And so that's basically the invention of death row. It becomes like a waiting room and like a waiting period. It takes them like three or four weeks to actually get electrocuted after getting sentenced. So the jury like deliberates like pretty quickly. like, yeah, this guy is definitely crazy.

We got to kill him. Guess the electric chair. That's it. That's cool. I mean, that's a great. That's awesome. I mean, FDR hardly gets shot at. It sounds like, all these guys probably got a crazy assassination at times.

But this is like the most like notable one, like a bullet like whizz past him and like hit the other guy. Again, conspiracy. Who knows? Speaking of conspiracy theories. November 22nd, a day in Dallas, 1963. This assassination, again, the last of the presence to be assassinated, could have like a whole episode in its own right yeah maybe people want that if you want to hear a whole thing where i explain j fk's assassination to my dumbest friend let me know right in the comments everyone knows kind of the the basics okay lee harvey oswald goes up in the book depository he takes three shots shoots jfk it hits him twice hits connelly the governor of texas and the leg or actually more than just the leg and uh that's basically it lee harvey oswald the whole thing all that shit yeah He's a former Marine, goes to the Soviet Union, comes back to the United States.

He's motivated by Marxist beliefs and fires three shots from the book depository to kill Kennedy. He's captured later that day and then killed by Jack Ruby two days later. Yeah. That's the story, right? Yep. It's pretty wild. So he goes into the book depository where he's employed. He has this big package.

And he's like, oh, yeah, I'm, you know, just bringing some curtain rods. And they're like, okay, takes him upstairs and basically, like, lines up his shot from the book depository. the governor the president's like sort of motorcade is like publicized so people kind of know where he's going more or less yeah and it's pretty clear that he's going across right in front of the book depository where he's working so within a second of each other governor colony and mr kennedy uh or mrs kennedy turn abruptly from their left to the right connolly and inexperienced hunter immediately knows that it's a rifle and uh turns his head and gets shot basically in the back exiting the front of him into his arm breaking his wrist and then into his leg where the bullet

estate. He testified that he could not see Kennedy, so he started to turn forward again, and that's when Kennedy was basically struck in the head. Yeah. And then he shouted, like, my God, they're going to kill us all. The single bullet theory is like a whole big conspiracy with this whole thing where basically the government needs there to only be three bullets. When they go upstairs to Lee Harvey's window, they see three bullet casings just on the ground. And they're like, three bullets, three bullets were fired. So one of the bullets, again, went through Kennedy's back, exited basically like his neck. Like he's kind of hunched over.

Goes through his back. Exit his neck. Goes into Colony's back. Connolly's back. Exit his chest. Yeah. Hits his arm. Stays in there.

A third bullet misses. Got it. So I think that's the order. I think first or maybe it's first bullet misses. Second bullet hits him and then hits Connolly and like goes through like eight people. Yeah. And you can still see that bullet to this day. They have it in museums.

Whoa. And it's completely fine. Huh. There's no damage to him. After going through all these people breaking his wrist and he's like that, it's fine. And then finally the bullet that hits him in the head. That is like the head shot that everyone's seen. And that is basically like, you know, the single bullet, the single bullet theory,

but a lot of people call the magic bullet theory because there's no way that shit fucking was the only shots that went in. Kennedy basically dies, you know, like on the, like in the car, they take him over to the hospital. He's like barely breathing, but they know it's fatal. Yeah. instantaneously almost. Oswald, immediately after, it's like walks out.

He's just like leaves, you know, he like just bounces, leaves the gun there. At 112, he basically is confronted by an officer in Dallas,

like in a nearby neighborhood who recognizes him from a description. Apparently, they have a description of like a guy in a window. Yeah. So the cop is like,

hey, what are you doing? And then Lee Harvey Oswald shoots him and kills him. Yeah. I don't know if people know that. I didn't know that, I didn't know that,

actually. They're like, he killed. JFK and then also happen to kill a cop the same day. And then he starts running. And then after killing the cop, he kind of gets like reprimended and gets arrested. And meanwhile, JFK's body's like taken from the motorcade driven straight to the hospital. They go to the hospital and they're having like this whole like fight about what to do with his body.

Like do we do the autopsy here and the Texas coroner is like, I'm doing the autopsy. Yeah. I'm going to try to treat him. I'm doing the autopsy. I'm doing everything. And then the government is basically like, no, we're taking him to love to. to read or something. Love good.

Okay. Aircraft carrier, I guess. Got it. Because apparently JFK was in the Navy. He was like a Navy captain. So Jackie was like, I wanted to be amongst the Navy. So they're like fighting and they get in a fist fight in the hospital. Wild.

And then they sent his body on Air Force One, transfer it over to the actual carrier. Wow. So apparently, according to the physicians, they rushed it. They do like an incomplete autopsy. Again, the autopsy is insane. You could do a whole episode just on the autopsy. three years after the autopsy Kennedy's brain which was removed for analysis is missing

to this day no one knows where his brain is it's just gone what do you think it is I think it shows that oh there's like the trajectory makes no sense yeah it's sort of pawn shopper has been crazy so it's Rick from pawnstarts has it a million percent best I could do is 25 bucks

so basically they do the autopsy there's like all these problems with the autopsy some people are even saying that like the people that did the autopsy like this guy Humes only had taken a single course on forensic pathology only a single course so he's doing the autopsy

and he says quote it's like sending a seven-year-old boy who has taken three lessons with the violin to the New York Philharmonic and expecting him to do a perfect Chikovsky symphony

wow so me and this guy were one class apart from each other basically you could have done the autopsy and there's like so much weird shit like they find a bullet in the car

and they like put it on the stretcher and they're like oh there's the third bullet yeah and it's like perfectly it makes absolutely It's perfectly intact. It's like, oh, that's the bullet that everyone sees.

It's like, oh, this is the one that must have fallen out of his back or something. This was, like, the second conspiracy I got into. Oh, like, watched YouTube videos and, like. Publicly believed conspiracy. Yeah, I would bet so. No one really believes the official story. Yeah, I would bet this is top dog. It's crazy.

So Oswald eventually gets, like, taken to prison. He's in there. He ends up giving a testimony to the press. They, like, wheel him out in front of the media. And they're like, Mr. Oswald, why'd you do it? Yeah. And he's like, I didn't do it. I'm a patsy.

I didn't do anything. Like, he's like, I didn't do, da, da, da. And he actually says, like, I didn't kill a man, which is obviously not true because it's, like, pretty clear that he killed the police officer. So then two days later, basically, like, LBJ gets sworn in. And he says to the people in Dallas, like, make sure Oswald's alive. We're going to do a trial, a full trial, show all the evidence and can fix them once and for all and show people really happened.

And then, as he's in the basement of the Dallas police headquarters, a nightclub owner, Jack Ruby comes up, shoots him. You can see pictures of it, the moment that he shoots him. It's on like on live television. Yeah. That Lee Harvey Oswald gets shot and killed. Again, Lee Harvey Oswald saying the whole time, I'm innocent. Jack Ruby then gets arrested.

This is the craziest part. So Ruby says, I did it because I wanted to spare Mrs. Kennedy the discomfiture of coming back to trial. Some people speculate that, again, there's so much speculation. Some people think that he did it because he had like a love affair with Kennedy and that he was gay and that he wanted to to avenge his gay, like, paroromantic death. It's like, there's so many conspiracies. So basically he shoots him. Ruby then gets sentenced to prison.

Yep. And then here's where it gets even crazier. Ruby's mental condition. Again, he's, like, now working in nightclubs. Apparently he's, like, working at the mob. Like, in the time, if you're working in nightclubs, like, you're probably mobbed up. And he's seen by this guy, Dr. West.

Okay. Dr. West is, like, seeing him frequently and basically says, oh, he's schizophrenic. Yeah. And Jack Ruby gets exonerated of his killing of Lee Harvey Oswald and is facing a second trial to get out of prison. Wow. And never sees the second trial because he ends up dying of like complications and medical issues while being fully schizophrenic and never able to testify or talk about what happened. Huh.

Dr. West infamously, and this is on the record, worked with the experimental program known as M.K. Ultra. Nice. The mind control program done by the CIA. Yeah. Dr. West was a part of it. And he's also the guy going to see Jack Ruby. Wow. It's just like, what is going on?

That makes sense. I mean, this is where, like, I push back in the weird conspiracies. I'm like, yeah, if there's like a doctor who's a preeminent doctor in the 60s, he also probably touched. In Dallas, I'm assuming Jack Ruby's in Dallas. This just seems so crazy. I'm like, what are the odds that, like, the doctor that did MK Ultras also, like, maybe. Like, it's not crazy, but it is like, it's a little weird. It is weird, for sure.

So then they do a big investigation. They do, like, a paraffin test. see if there's like any explosive material like on Lee Harvey Oswald. They find it on his hands, but not on his cheek where he would have held the weapon up and you would have gotten it. And they were like, ah, this thing is bullshit. Just throw it out. They end up like not including it.

The Warren Commission is then requested by LBJ. It's called that because the Justice Earl Warren is at the head of it. A part of the Warren Commission is this guy named Alan Dulles. Yeah. Alan Dulles infamously basically starts what we know is the CIA. Yeah. He is ousted out of the CIA. His legacy is tarnished by JFK.

Because JFK was basically against what the CIA's whole operation was around the world in Cuba, basically like, you know, usurping governments in Iran and things like that. He's not really into it. So he gets rid of Allen Della specifically after the Bay of Pigs incident in Cuba. And he's like, yeah, you're embarrassing us. Yeah. This is like failed invasion. Like we look goofy. Like get out of here.

Alan Dulles pissed. Hates JFK. And now he's in charge of the commission, not in charge, but he's a part of the commission that's in charge of seeing who killed the president. So basically immediately Like Dulles, the former CIA guy Is in charge of the, you know, Warren Commission. Another person that's a part of it, Jay Edgar Hoover, the guy that started the FBI.

Within 24 hours, he's on the phone with Lyndon B. Johnson, the new president saying, oh, it was, you know, lone gunman, only him, only Lee Harvey Oswald, three bullets, that's what it is. Within 24 hours, no investigation. But he's just like, we have our guy, we have it, case closed, it's done. And they're like sticking to this story. They're like so vehemently holding on to this.

Yeah. And actually, Johnny Harris, like an excellent episode talking about like why people believe in these conspiracies. It's great. You should check that out. It's awesome. So the whole thing is just crazy. Like if you look at this a Pruder film.

Yeah. Of course. This is his head like jerks back even though he was shot from the front. And people are like, oh, it was a muscular reaction to getting shot. Your brain basically like goes in a seizure mode like you go back. Or other people were like, oh, is the propulsion of brain matter out of the front of his head and it caused his head to go back. It's like, all right.

Yeah. Sure. Okay. So the. The United States House Select Committee of Assassins does another investigation after the Warren Committee basically says it's a lone gunman with three bullets. And they look into it and they're basically like, it's likely a conspiracy. Everyone involved. Even people on the Warren Commission were like, yeah, I don't believe it.

Connolly, the guy that got shot in the leg that was there in the car with JFK was like, yeah, I don't really believe it. No one believes it was a lone gunman. Yeah. No one necessarily knows who. I mean, a lot of people would have benefited from Lincoln dying. So now there's a million conspiracy. Kennedy. A lot of people would benefit

from Lincoln dying also. That's true. But from Kennedy dying, like there's all these people. Obviously, like, the mob people blame. The CIA, because he was against them.

Castro, people blame. The Soviets were in the middle of the Cold War. Like, there's all these people, some people think LBJ did it. Like, there's a litany of potential shooters. Jackie-O. What, why?

He cheated on her a lot. There you go. So it's like, everyone has a reason. Yeah. And because they withheld the information, Because they wanted to basically like preserve calmness within the nation. They're like, hey, let's just keep everyone calm. It was one shooter.

And the other issue is that if they said like, oh, Castro did it. Yeah. Why did Castro do it? Oh, we're trying to kill Castro. That information was not public. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So basically they couldn't really say it was some other type of thing because then it would basically show their hand of what America was doing at the time.

Yeah. So they're like, we don't want to show what we're doing with the CIA, which is fucked up. And on top of that, we don't want to like make. people concerned that like, oh, our president can get killed by the mob or whatever. Let's just say it was a crazy guy. He was a Marxist. He loved communism. He loved Soviet Union. He worked over there, which a lot of people say he was like a CIA spy or like an asset when he went to the Soviet Union. And so people are like, let's just say it's this guy, three bullets. He got a lucky shot. And that's it. Case closed. They withheld all the documents for years. And thus all the conspiracies abounded.

The 1991 film JFK is obviously about this. And then they held all the documents until like 2017. and then they held them even more for public release until 2022. And a bunch of shit is redacted. There's like, you don't really get to know anything. It's like blacked out paper. And it all basically comes to the same conclusion. Like it was Lee Harvey Oswald, lone gunman. Now, my personal opinion, I don't know really what happened.

I don't know who killed him. I don't know why someone would try to kill him. I think Lee Harvey Oswald was definitely involved. I think he definitely was a part of it. Like if a cop came to question me, I wouldn't just kill the cop. Yeah, unless I did some foul shit. Yeah. But I don't think it was alone.

That just seems crazy. After this Trump thing of just, like, levels of incompetency, I do run into the issue where I'm like, there's almost a perfect level of incompetency on part of the government or the people that are protecting. And then also just like sort of unprepared dereliction, unpredictability, where I'm like, it does sometimes work. Now, I don't know. I've obviously been down the JFK rabbit hole and this is a prudor film and like the younger I was in high school.

So I don't remember all the details. But at the time, I'm sure I felt different. But after seeing from what I understand about this Trump one, where it's just like this kid was like walking around like caring of whatever, in a weird way, I'm like there is almost a level of like in once again, I just don't know the exact answer. But like this idea of like if you walk around sort of look like you know what you're doing, like enough. people are confused on who's in control or command. Like, yeah, shit happens for sure. Yeah, in a weird way. Like, maybe the JFK one was simpler than we want it to be.

It's possible. Again, I'm not opposed to the idea. Like, I haven't seen any evidence to confirm that he wasn't alone, but just like the single board thing. Yeah, of course, of course. The fact that the autopsy was botched, like the Warren Commission. I want to believe it's more of a conspiracy, but there is this weird idea that I'm like, sometimes it's weirdly simpler than we think.

Yeah, it's possible. Again, I'm not, I'm not completely. against you. It just seems it's very clear that they covered some things up. Apparently there was one guy even in like that was a part of the Warren Commission, I think that was like, yeah, they told me to destroy files. So like there was a very clear cover

up. Yeah. Why there was a cover up? Yeah. I don't know. But it just it's like if they had just basically come out and this is what Johnny Harris says, like if they just came out in the 60s with all the information. Yeah. And they were just upfront about it. They would have preserved Americans' trust and institutions. Yeah. And they would have been like,

okay, this is what happened. Like, Maybe Lee Harvey Oswald shot more shots. Maybe there was another, maybe Lee Harvey Oswald had another Marxist crazy guy that was on the grassy knoll that also shot. Yeah. And they were like, hey, let's double up our odds. Who knows? Like, yeah.

It's no one, like no one, I don't think anyone has any idea. Yeah. But the fact that there was a government cover up is like a huge mistake. And they got to just be like, yeah, this is what the info is. Yeah. You just look goofy. Wonderful. I'll ever, I don't know, ever get like, not the answer, but like,

more information on that one. Hopefully. I mean, have you seen all of the comparisons with Lincoln and Kennedy? Yeah, this is the one where it's like Ford Theater. There's like the very first like chain mail

that went around. Dude, this is like in the 90s. Yeah, yeah. I remember this. Right? This is like the first like meme. Ford Theater. Lincoln and Kennedy have both have seven letters.

Both presidents were elected to Congress in 46 and later to presidency in 60. Yeah. both assassins John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald were born at 39 and were both known by their three names comprised of 15 letters. Yeah. Which again, when we're saying 46, we made 1846 in 1946 in 1946. Booth ran from a theater and was caught in a warehouse. Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theater.

The assassins were both Southerners. Both of presidents' successors were Democrats named Johnson with a six-letter first name born in 08. Both Lincoln and Kennedy were partially concerned with, particularly concerned with civil rights and made their views strongly known. Both presidents were shot in the head on a Friday in the presence of their wives. Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy who told him not to go to Ford's theater. Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln, and she warned him not to go into Dallas.

Both Oswald and Booth were killed before they be put on trial. And then, you know, did I say the Ford and the Lincoln one? Yeah, I think so. So, you know, Kennedy was shot in a Lincoln. Oh, yeah, yeah. And Lincoln was shot in a Ford. I remember where I was when I first read this. I explained to my dad.

I was in my house and we had a e-machine computer at the time. And I, like, distinctly remember reading this on, like, a website that had, like, comic sands as the font and definitely made your cursor look different. And I remember reading it and, like, explaining to my dad, like, you got to see this. That's so funny. It was, like, the first. like chain letter yeah but it's crazy we should do a whole episode on on jfk probably and now again we're not talking about all of them but you know because there's too many to really go through

but like gerald ford was the only guy to be attempted to be assassinated by chicks oh really yeah two girls separate times one girl did it because she was like a communist and was like you know politically motivated the other one did it because she was a part of the manson family oh wow and they both like shot at him one of them like had the gun but no bullets in it was like I didn't really want to do it. I just wanted to scare them. Wow. But they basically go away.

Jimmy Carter had one. You know, a bunch of people, George Bush. Yeah, the guy threw the shoes at him. No. George Bush had a crazy one. Oh, H. W. Yeah, yeah, yeah. H.

No, no, not HW. W. Yeah, the shoe guy. That's not an assassination of them. That's assassination. No, that's just disrespect for Muslims. No, I throw my shoe at you. That's the guy.

So that's my favorite one. This one, George W is in Georgia, the country, not the state. Okay. Given a speech, a guy pulls a grenade, chucks it. Wow. It lands like 50 feet away from him and basically lands like on Laura Bush's lap. Wow. And the grenade doesn't detonate because it's wrapped in a red bandana.

Oh, wow. She basically like sees it and then like a guard comes over and grabs it and then just walks away. Wow. But it was that close from a grenade going off and just like maybe killing the president. That's crazy. There's a bunch of other ones. just like that? The Obama one's interesting where the guy shoots the White House. Obama's out of town. They're all out of town except for like the grandmother and the eldest daughter or the youngest daughter.

I don't remember. But like this guy drives all the way across the fucking country, takes a gun, shoots the White House. And then the Secret Service sort of like fumbles the whole process and is like, I think it was a car backfiring. Like don't worry about it. A few days later they see like chips on like a window and like also in the concrete of the White House. They find some bullets and they find out. And the guy gets caught in like the dumbest way. He's like driving across state lines, leaves the gun with his fingerprints, drives, like gets in a car accident, like a state away, gets pulled over,

has his like state ID on him. So it's like it's just a fumble on both parts. But yeah, it's just fascinating. Obama wasn't there. So it's not like one of the noteworthy ones. Obama has like eight. If you go on Wikipedia, you can see like all of them. There's like a ton.

Like all the presidents have it. It's like such a high risk job. It's like crazy. Bill Clinton has a bunch. Really? It's just insane. Like, Nixon has a bunch. It's like, it's just crazy.

Genuinely. It's like insane that anyone would want to do this job. Jimmy Carter has a couple. But let's finish talking about our boy Reagan. Yeah. March 30th, 1981. Okay. This is the last time a president was shot outside of, you know, a couple weeks ago.

This was John Hinkley Jr. attempted to assassinate. I know Reagan. I like this guy. You like him? Yeah. He makes music now. Yeah.

I was going to say he's got a YouTube channel. Yeah, we'll get into him. Basically, March 30th, 81, President of the United States, Ronald Reagan, was shot by John Hinkley as he was returning to his limousine after a speaking engagement at the Washington Hilton. Yeah, I don't want to put it on his dad. That's a good point. It is John Hinkley, Jr. You know, his dad probably did a great job.

So, this assassination attempt happens on March 30th. On March 21st, new president, Ronald Reagan, who just took office like a couple months before, goes to the Ford's Theater in Washington, D.C. What do you know about the Ford's Theater? That's where Lincoln was. That's exactly right. Wow. And they stand there and he looks on the stage.

He stands on the stage and he looks up at the president box. And he says that he felt a curious sensation and apparently told his aides, I felt that even with all the Secret Service protection we now had, it was probably still possible for someone who had enough determination to get close enough to the president and shoot him. Wow. A couple weeks go by and exactly that happens. John Hinkley Jr. shows up with a revolver and shoots Reagan. a bunch of times.

He, like, fires off a bunch of shots. One of them goes into, like, the side of his, you know, arm under his left, underarm, breaking a rib, puncturing a lung, serious internal bleeding. He's close to death on arrival at the hospital, but stabilized in the emergency room. Reagan's, like, walking into the hospital, waving at onlookers. He, like, one of his aides calls in to get, like, a stretcher for him to, like, go in on. And there's no stretcher. They don't even get one ready.

So he's, like, waving at everyone. They lay him down on the table to, like, try to get the bullet out and, like, do surgery on him. And they're cutting his suit. And he goes, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, gentlemen. This is a $1,000 suit. Yeah, Laura Piano, what are we doing? You're going to cut my suit? And they're like, yeah, we have to cut it.

He's like, no, no, no, I'll take it off. They're like, sir, you just got shot. You're coughing of blood. He's like, no, I just split my lip. And they're like, no, we're going to take your suit off. They cut his suit off. And apparently they actually use that as, like, press. So, like, his internal team's, like, the president is doing fine.

He was more concerned about his suit than he was his body. And the country, like, who. Oh, thank God. Right? So he's in there. And apparently he's just like being funny. Nancy pulls up. And she's like, honey, what happened?

And he goes, ah, forgot to duck. Should have seen another guy. Yeah, literally. He's like, yeah, I should have ducked. Whoops. Why, he's bleeding out. He's like close to death. Like, had he not gone straight to the hospital?

Like, had they waited for the ambulance? Like, someone just put him in a car and drove him. How'd they waited for an ambulance? He would have died. He was like an hour away from death. In the operating room, he has oxygen mask on, getting surgery, about to go under. Pulls off the oxygen mask. He goes, I hope you're all Republicans.

The doctor, Giordano, he's a Democrat, replies, Mr. President, today, we're all Republicans. And he goes, ha, puts his mask back on. Nice. Get surgery. Counts backwards on 10 and blacks out. Literally, he just blacks out. He wakes up. He's feeling amazing.

So unfortunately, a couple people, secret service agent, White House press secretary, and a police officer were all wounded. Yeah, one of them's like, all survived. James Brady was said to have died, but actually he just had brain. damage is now permanently disabled, which is better than dying. And yeah, that's basically a story. Reagan goes on to, like, give speeches and finishes out his presidency. The famous line, the video where he's giving a speech in the balloon pops, he goes, miss me.

Miss me. Keeps going. I mean, just like ball or shit. I mean, that's just like cool. The Hinkley stuff is wild because Hinkley was nuts. He was crazy. And he was trying to impress Jody Foster. Yeah, Jody Foster after watching like taxicab or taxi driver.

A taxi driver. He had what's known as Eratomania. He had a fascination with Jody Foster, which, by the way, she was like 15 in the movie. She's young. Okay. At the time of the shooting, I think she was like 17 or 18, and he's just, like, fascinated by her. So he also was a pedophile. Also that.

Two things. Three things, maybe. Yeah, exactly. Which one's the worst thing? You don't have to answer that. Yeah, I'm not going to answer that. At least 15 times did John Hinkley Jr. watch taxi driver, apparently identifying strongly with protagonist. The story.

Which is a crazy movie. Ever seen it? No, I have. Oh, dude. I mean, yeah, he's crazy. Crazy. He basically tries to save a child prostitute, and towards the end of the film, the main character attempts to assassinate a U.S. Senator running for president.

Yeah. And so he's like, that's homin-impressed Jody Foster. Yeah. He also doesn't go to jail. This is weirdly the one I think I'm going to know the most about. He doesn't go to jail. What do you mean? Pleads insanity.

Mm-hmm. Goes to like a insane house for X amount of time and then gets out. Yeah, he gets out. But I do think, I think he does go to prison. Maybe. I would look into that. But regardless, yeah, he pleads insanity. Maybe goes to jail, maybe doesn't, whatever.

Gets out and does interviews after. Yeah, he does a couple interviews, which I actually have a story about this. And he's a personal story. Oh, really? Yeah. So I'll tell you in a second. But basically, he's obsessed with Jody Foster. He's, like, enrolling at a Yale University course because he heard that she went there.

Like, he tried to do, like, a community writing course at Yale. I applied to Brown University because Emma Watson was going there. I just want to make that clear. We have the same problem. You and Hinkley. basically identical. You guys are twins, actually. Yeah, I was going to fall in love with,

or Emma Watson was going to fall in love with me at Brown. When she saw you write it. Yeah. When she saw, like, the me being smart as hell in class. Brilliant eloquence. Yeah. Yeah.

How do you like them apples type of shit? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So basically, she got in contact with him, or he got in contact with her, rather, and she was like, I'm not interested.

Please stop talking to me. But he was like a confirmed stalker. Yeah. He demanded that she testified his trial. So basically he gets tackled. People beat the shit out of him. He goes to trial. and he's like, well, Jody Foster has to testify.

What's crazy is that an agreement is reached between Foster and Hinckley's lawyers that said that she would do so in a closed session only herself that judged the lawyers and Hinckley was actually present. Wow. And then the videotape session would then be introduced as evidence into his trial.

It just goes to show that, you know. He got what he wanted. Yeah. But not exactly. Because during the testimony, Foster did not look or acknowledge Hinckley once. This made him so angry that he threw a pen at her and shouted,

threats before he was surrounded and moved removed from the room by marshals he uh remained confined at st elizabeth's hospital and then moved to a dc psychiatric facility and then in 2015 federal prosecutors announced that he would be not charged in brady's death because he didn't die he was just uh disabled yeah and then uh despite the medical examiner's classification of his death as a homicide so technically he was classified as dead and then recovered and so he wasn't technically he didn't kill anyone yeah yeah so then he was released from the institutional psychiatric care on September 10th, 2016. And then now makes music.

Yeah. He's on Facebook. And I'm pretty sure I need to actually confirm this. He just tweeted that he condemns political violence. Oh, good. Which, for the record, he didn't do any political violence. Yeah. He did, I don't know, like a romance violence.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's more Romeo Juliet than it is. Yeah. So it's not contradictory. Maybe he's like, yo, whoa, whoa, why would he kill him for his politics? Yeah. I love Reagan. I just love Jody Foster more.

You know what I mean? I was trying to win a girl's heart over you. I understand it. Yeah, I just see about a girl. Yeah, true. Yeah, it was a rock and a hard place. But what was interesting, and I think of parallel we can even draw now, is that Reagan's popularity, he was already pretty popular at time,

but his ratings surged. Crazy. 70% the following months. And he also became extremely religious, it seems like. Reagan. Yeah. He was, like, raised Catholic and had, like, some connection to his faith. But he believes that God spared his life.

so he might fulfill a greater purpose, naturally, right? Like, you survive a shooting. Like, I'm going to be like, oh, God, put me here for a reason. And although not Catholic necessarily, he had meetings with Mother Teresa, Cardinal Terrence Cook, and even spoke with Pope John Paul II, also a shooting survivor and reinforced his belief. So there you go. Wow.

I kind of predict that in a way for Trump. Like, obviously, he, like, sort of flirts with religion. And some people aren't really sure, like, is it real or is it sort of part of, like, his political aspirations? Yeah. The standing with the Bible thing, you're like... But I think we're going to see him over the next whole months being extremely religious. Yeah, it's very possible.

And I think that it's going to be similar to Reagan. I think his ratings are going to surge. And I think a lot of like states that are kind of swing states will go in his favor because of this and like how cool he looked. Yeah. And I think he's going to get super religious and also like win over even more evangelicals than he already has. That's a great take. Just based off history. It's a great take.

Because what about history? Doesn't repeat itself. but it sometimes rhymes. Brimes. Brimes. Who? It primes. What was your personal story? Oh, Hinklin.

I reached out to him. Oh, really? Yeah. He can't do pods or is he allowed? He doesn't do whatever he wants. It's a free man. Well, sort of. You didn't kill anybody.

He can do the YouTube video, the channel, but they can take it away from. Yeah, I guess. I don't know all the details of his parole or whatever he's on. Actually, I think he's off parole now. I think he's just a regular citizen. There's something about the fact that he has a YouTube channel and he's allowed to attempt to profit. This is like the son of the son of Sam laws or whatever.

You're always not supposed to make money off the things you do that were whatever. He's allowed to have a YouTube channel, but they do have the ability that if it got too popular, if he started like spouting some crazy shit, they could pull it. But because he's just singing like crooner Elvis Presley songs. And he also paints. Yeah. And I also think he's kind of like, according to what he said in some of the interviews that he's on, he's kind of regrets what he did.

And he was like, yeah, I was crazy. And I've like taken meds and I've gotten better. and I think he's like kind of repented a little. Yeah. So that's sort of like a gray area where it's like what he did was terrible, but also like... He also was like clinically insane at the time. They also changed insanity laws after him. Oh, I didn't know that.

Yeah. They like, a lot of people were pissed that he got away with like insanity and they tightened that shit up pretty quick after. Well, it seems like he's a tone for it. It seems. And so I reached out and I was like, looking to do a pod. And he wrote back and he was like, what is the pod? And I was like, well, I'm in a tent talking to random people.

And he was like, never. ever said anything. Oh, wow. But maybe. Hopefully he sees this. Maybe he'll be in your chair. I would be so excited. We'll say.

Yeah. Anyway, you've got to tune in whenever that happens. Thank you guys so much for listening. This was every major presidential assassination and attempt in U.S. history explained, and I don't know, two hours or however long we went. Thank you guys so much for listening. If you enjoyed this, please let me know. Write a comment.

I don't know. This content's a little experimental for what we normally do here. But please leave your feedback. I would love to know what you guys think. And thank you so much for doing this, brother. I think you should call it tent talks. Oh, the tent talk. That's my favorite one.

Intense conversations. Yeah, or tent talk and you steal the TED talk sort of random. Yeah, yeah, I like that. That's probably better than mine. We'll figure out a name, all right. Anyway, thank you guys so much. We'll see you next time.