Camp Gagnon - LOST Bible Books Explained: Thomas, Judas, Magdalene, Solomon & MORE

Episode Date: December 2, 2024

I discuss lost and banned books of the bible and detail WHY they were left out. Gospel of Thomas, Judas, Magdalene, Enoch, Solomon, and everything in between. What's your favorite? Which one should we dive deeper on? Happy Sunday and welcome to RELIGION Camp 🏕️ TIMESTAMPS: 0:00 Intro 0:51 The Apocryphal Texts 1:55 The Gospel of Thomas 8:47 The Gospel of Judas + Codex Tchacos 17:04 The Gospel of Mary Magdalene 22:15 The Apocalypse of Peter 27:38 The First Book of Enoch 31:20 The Second Book of Enoch 35:19 The Third Book of Enoch 39:06 The Testament of Solomon 46:03 The Infancy Gospel of Thomas 52:38 Peace Be With You

The Book of the Watchers. These angels who come down to earth and they lusted after human women. In the narrative, a young Jesus is depicted as a child endowed with immense and unchecked supernatural powers, power that he doesn't always use in ways you might expect from the Son of God. In the Gospel of Judas, Judas acted on Jesus' direct orders, ultimately fulfilling a divine plan. According to the Gospel, Jesus confided in Judas more deeply than any other disciple.

There's an interesting thing actually within Christianity that once you know the name, of something, you're able to control it. According to the text, Solomon wasn't just known for his wisdom, but also his ability to command demons. These are the secret words which the living Jesus spoke. He who finds the meaning of these words will not taste death. The Gospel of Thomas, the Gospel of Judas. There's many, many more. These are the books of the Bible that didn't make the final cut. That's right. This is like the Schneider cut of the Bible. You know, this is like the Bible's a certain number of books, depends on what your denomination is, and it's a certain number. That's what it is. It got canonized way back in the day. But there are texts that have been written around the same

time, allegedly by people that maybe had first or second hand appearances or viewings of Christ himself. And these books have been lost or banned. These are stories that didn't quite make it. Heretical, bizarre, maybe a little too out there for the church's liking. Some of it might be myths and legends. Some of it might be straight up the word of God. They got left out by the early church. That might be heretical for me to even say. If that's, if I mess that up, please don't excommunicate me, Papa Francisco. Today we were talking about all the ancient texts that have been translated, copied, buried, and debated over the century. So if you're a scholar or an expert, and you spot any mistakes, feel free to correct me, put it in the comments. Either way,

let's jump in. The Gospel of Thomas. This is a fascinating one. This one is pretty wild. Okay, in 1945, something was discovered in Egypt, the Nag Hammadi Library. This is a fascinating, basically, you know, a collection of text that got discovered in the, you know, basically modern times that they dated back and they go all the way back to the time of Christ, roughly speaking. Among them is the Gospel of Thomas, a collection of 114 sayings attributed to Christ that are pretty different from the story that we're used to. Okay, we'll dive in. Unlike the standard gospels, you know, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John,

that have, you know, kind of the familiar narrative that we're used to, right? Like, you know, resurrection, parables, miracles, things like that. This gospel has no story at all. It was stripped of context lacking the grand events or the crucifixion that define Christianity. I mean, there is no Christianity without a resurrection, right? There's a fundamental belief that Christ died for our sins, was buried and rose again in fulfillment of this. scriptures. But gospel of Thomas is a little different. Instead, the Gospel of Thomas presents Christ as a teacher of hidden wisdom, sort of like a mystical being imparting the secrets of the universe. The Gospel of Thomas was written by a guy. Didimus Judas Thomas, who is this guy? Well,

Didimus is Greek and Thomas, Aramaic, meaning twin. The early church claimed that he was Jesus's twin brother, which is, that's a tough twin to have. If you have a sibling that's like a doctor or something, imagine your twin is Jesus Christ and you look exactly like him. And people are like, oh, you're Jesus and you're like, no, I'm his twin. Okay, I work at a Metro PCS. And, you know, I mean, what better person, you know, record mysterious sayings than the man who might have been Jesus' literal twin? For the record, I don't believe this. Okay, I don't think this was Jesus's literal twin, but this is as the story goes. Okay, the gospel kicks off with, these are the secret words which the living Jesus spoke. And Didimus Thomas, Didimus Judas Thomas wrote them down,

and he said, he who finds the meaning of these words will not taste death. I mean, right off the bat, I mean, that's a pretty good hook, right? Like, I mean, you're promised immortality if you can figure it out, and it's been my goal for the past, I don't know, two days to try to see if I can evade death. Let's try to see what's in there, okay? Let's go to some of the sayings that are in the gospel of Thomas. This is saying 34. If a blind man leads a blind man, both will fall into a pit. Or saying 54, blessed or the poor for yours is the kingdom of heaven, which we see in Luke

6, verse 20. That's not that crazy. You know, that seems pretty straightforward. But then we get some cryptic ones. Okay, this is where it starts to get fun. Saying 22. Strap in. Are you ready for this?

When you make the 2-1 and when you make the inner as the outer, and the outer is the inner, then you will enter the kingdom. Isn't that great when Jesus has just given people riddles? It's amazing. A man goes into town on Saturday. He stays for two days and leaves again on Saturday. How is that possible? The horse's name is Saturday.

How about this saying, whoever has come to understand the world has found only a corpse, and whoever has found a corpse is superior to the world, Jesus. I mean, Thomas was in his bag on this one, right? What is this even, I don't understand what any of this means, okay? I think I'm going to probably taste the fatal kiss of death. Some religious scholars argue that the purpose of these abstract, like, or riddles was to challenge people to decipher the truth on their own. It wasn't about following a ritual

or listening to priests. It was about being a conspiracy theorist. It's not about going to church, you know, it's about going through the Gospels of Thomas yourself and being like, all right, this shit makes no sense. Moving on. It's about unlocking inner knowledge. Okay, that's kind of ultimately what scholars have defined the gospel of Thomas to be. This idea known as Nosis suggests that everyone could access divine wisdom directly. This kind of runs directly counter to the early churches focus on external, centralized, religious authority. If anyone could find God within themselves, the priests at the time, you know, they might be working at Metropi-S with Jesus' twin brother. One of the most famous sayings from this gospel is this.

The kingdom of God is inside you and all around you, not in man. of wood and stone split a piece of wood and I am there lift a stone and you will find me there the idea that God isn't confined to some sacred space and is woven into the fabric of existence waiting to be found in the simplest of things is I guess for the early church a little little woo-woo you know there's a little hippie-dippy so therefore got yanked out of the Bible it's interesting actually even just reading this I feel like there's connections to a lot of other religions I feel like a lot of like Eastern religions Hinduism to an extent that there's a God within us that can be tapped into.

I think Buddhism taps into a lot of this. I'm pretty sure even Japanese Shintoism, that there's an element of this in there as well, that this might be apocryphal. This is what my Japanese friend told me, that a lot of Japanese folks, due to their religious beliefs and kind of the philosophy of Shinto,

effectively God and the creator exists in all things and in all actions. Therefore, all actions have to be done perfectly so as to honor God, which is why the Japanese make the best shit. Right? I mean, they're making a car and they're like, oh, God is in this, you know, Rav 4. We got to make this thing sick, you know, get crazy mileage, right? Like if you're driving like a souped up civic, you're going to be like,

yo, God is in this loud ass lowered civic. So we got to make it perfect. And the Japanese do make the best stuff, right? I mean, the best food I've ever had is in Japan. So there you go. Now, Gospel of Thomas? I don't know. It seems a little far-fetched, but it is interesting regardless. Who was this guy? Why did it? he write it? Was it just to, you know, sort of imbue Christianity with sort of like Eastern philosophies at the time? Was he trying to shake up the church? Was he trying to take it down? Was he trying to sort of decentralize the nature of the church that, again, wouldn't happen for thousands of years or, you know, maybe, yeah, probably like 15 hundred years later when the reformation happened

and kind of took away the Catholic churches hold over Christianity? Or maybe he just did a bunch Shrooms, who knows? Let's go on to the next one, all right? The Gospel of Judas. You know Judas. This is a wild one. Apparently, actually, I'm pretty sure, I don't know if anyone knows this or can look this up. There's of Jesus's apostles, like the 12 disciples, there was two named Judas. One kind of goes by Jude. This is hilarious. I didn't, I just found this out recently. There's Judas of Judas Ascariot who, you know, betrays Jesus. He, you know, we're going to get to him in a second in this gospel. Judas is scarier betrays Jesus and gets Jesus crucified. Ultimately, he gambles his, you know, clothes away.

He's a real scumbag. Right. I don't like this guy. But then there's another guy, also Judas, who goes by Jude. And I was reading this thing, the patron saint Jude, again, in Catholicism, you sort of ask the saints to pray for you. There's a veneration. There's an appreciation for the saints because we believe that they have entered into the

kingdom of heaven and that they can sort of counsel on behalf of. what your requests are to God. So you don't pray to the saints. You sort of request that these saints pray for you. And no one prays to Jude because people are afraid of praying to Judas Ascarii because they have a similar name. It's hilarious to me that early church people were like, it's not even worth it. But apparently according to sort of like Catholic lore, if you do ask Jude to pray for you,

he's apparently super willing because he never gets any prayers. He never has any inbound play. He's like, finally, someone's taken up the task of shooting me a DM. Anyway, Gospel of Judas, okay? This guy, like I said, back sabber. He sold out Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. Or did he? This is where the Gospel of Judas comes into play.

According to the Gospel of Judas, he might have actually been the MVP of the whole operation. Second, obviously, to Jesus. Gospel of Judas is an ancient text, discovered in, like, the 70s and later released to the public in 2006. the gospel controversially contradicts the canonical gospels in the conventional Bible. In the gospel of Judas, Judas acted on Jesus' direct orders, ultimately fulfilling a divine plan. Now again, Papa Francisco, before you excommunicate me, I'm just saying what's in there. I don't believe it, okay? According to the gospel, Jesus confided in Judas more deeply than any other disciple, sharing the mysteries of the universe with him. Fire, right? He even told Judas,

you will exceed all of them, for you will sacrifice the man that clothes me. What? His tailor? No. This suggests that Judas's betrayal was not an act of treachery, but actually a form of obedience, freeing Jesus from his earthly body and allowing the events of the crucifixion and resurrection to unfold, therefore saving humanity from the sins of Adam. The text portrays Jesus' relationship with his disciples in a way that diverges,

basically completely from the canonical Gospels, right? While most of Jesus' disciples remain confused or misunderstand Jesus' teaching, they can't figure it out, Judas stands out as the only one who actually understands what is going on, likely because he was given the secrets of the universe. A key scene in the gospel captures Judas' isolation and his relationship with Jesus, which the other disciples falter. Judas alone kind of comes forward, recognizing Jesus as the immortal realm. Jesus acknowledges Judas's loyalty, telling him, step away from the others so he could share the mysteries of the kingdom with him. It's, again, this is wild. It might, this might just be fan fiction. I don't know. Like, you ever read like a, oh, this is how Harry Potter really started.

It's just like some 15-year-old in his bedroom, just like typing away. This might be that. Or maybe this is really Judas being like, guys, I'm misunderstood. Give me a break. One of the craziest verses in the entire gospel of Judas. Jesus straight up just tells Judas this, you will be cursed by the other generations, but you will come to rule over them. In the last days, they will curse your assent to the holy generation. This suggests that Judas's role was, again, a part of this predestined cosmic plan, which is not how it's presented in Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John, any of the canonical gospels. Another fascinating aspect of the gospel of Judas is that its depiction of cosmology, where Jesus actually like basically discusses like spiritual matters beyond the earthly realm,

which doesn't exactly really do. He speaks of luminous clouds and angels and, you know, different eons. Again, this is not, that's nothing that's mentioned in the standard gospels. These are concepts that are like common in sort of like the nostric tradition, but never mentioned in traditional Christian doctrine at all. According to this text, humanity's origin involved a series of, divine beings, each contributing to the creation of the cosmos. Again, this is apocryphal to the monotheistic belief of Christianity, but in the gospel of Judas, this is allegedly what Christ said. According to some,

this gospel was banned because its ideas were obviously fucking crazy, right? Like, you know, Judas is actually a good guy. Like, we need the gospel of Satan, which, I mean, there is one, basically. I mean, Gnosticism is this idea that the serpent that actually went to Adam and Eve, Eve first in the book of Genesis wasn't actually an evil, you know, Luciferian character. He was actually, I mean, to that end, Lucifer, he was the bringer of light. He was the bringer of enlightenment. God had told Adam and Eve, if you eat from this fruit, if you taste the knowledge of good and evil, you will surely die.

And Satan comes along. Again, I'd say Satan loosely. The serpent, which, again, according to Gnostics, it's not going to describe a specific morality to, he comes and says, you won't die. You'll just have the knowledge of good and evil, which kind of seems like in Genesis, Adam and Eve don't die. They're just ashamed of their nakedness and cast out of the Garden of Eden. Again, this is how the tradition goes. Not something I believe, but it's good to think about. This gospel of Judas, again, it challenges the ideas of Judas as a traitor and presents him as a heroic figure and fundamental to the salvation

of humanity. Again, if there's no Judas, there's no crucifixion, if there's no of fiction is no resurrection. No resurrection. Humanity is sort of, you know, ban from entering into the kingdom of heaven. And to the early church, this really threatens their stance on redemption, repentance, and this clear distinction between good and evil and kind of brings in like an anti-hero narrative. The manuscript's journey from its discovery to publication is as bizarre and shrouded and mysterious as the actual content of the Gospels. Basically, it was found near this place. It's called Benny Mazar in Egypt.

The manuscript, known as Codex Chakos, which sounds delicious. I don't know if I'm pronouncing that correct. There's a T in the front of it. I don't know how Egyptians pronounce stuff. It goes through a bunch of different people and is mishandled and then is putting a freezer for a time. Like it's literally they're trying to preserve it and they're like, what do we do with this? And it eventually ends up in Switzerland where then the frozen preserved manuscript is then translated. and carbon dating places around like 280 AD,

but it's believed to be based on older Greek manuscripts dating back to the second century. There's this guy, Iranius of Leonis, an early Christian writer, he mentions the Gospel of Judas in his condemnation of Gnostic beliefs, calling it completely, quote, fictitious history and, quote, blasphemous heresy. Maybe it was Iranius.

Get it? So, that's the Gospel of Jude. Judas. That's a bad joke. Honestly, I'm sorry about that. I should have done that. That's the Gospel of Judas. This is, again, just an interesting ancient text that's worth looking at. It's worth kind of chewing on. Not something I necessarily believe to be the words of Christ. I don't think Jesus was like, hey, the only way, I'm the son of God, right? The only way for me to save everyone is if you sell me out for silver and gamble on my clothes. I don't see that as being a very legitimate reality, but it's interesting, nonetheless.

Let's move on to another one, shall we? The Gospel of Mary Magdalene. Yeah. I'm playing with fire here, okay? Don't cast me to hell. Please, I'm just looking at the text. This is discovered in 1896. Again, in Egypt, it's written in Coptic,

and the Gospel of Mary Magdalene depicts her, again, we know Mary Magdalene from the Bible, as a central figure with deep spiritual insight and authority. Unlike the canonical gospels, The Gospel of Mary focuses on not just the life or actions of Jesus, but again, on his teachings, particularly those imparted on Mary Magdalene after the death of Christ. The text begins in the middle of a scene where the disciples are distraught. They're basically like mourning Jesus' death and questioning how they can continue his mission after Christ is passed on. It's here that Mary Magdalene, and I'll refer to her as Mary, therefore, but again, not the mother of God, Mary Magdalene.

separate people. Mary steps up offering the words of comfort and reminding them of the grace that Jesus had left them with. Her courage and strength in the moment is very different than the fear of the male disciples. She's a little bit of a girl boss, right? Like she kind of comes in and she's like, guys, everything's fine. Relax. She puts on her pantsuit, makes it happen. One of the wild aspects of this gospel is how it depicts Mary's spiritual journey and her visions of sort of like the soul and death. and again, sort of like these very mystical ideas that are not necessarily, you know, talked about in the traditional canon.

According to the text, Mary shares a vision that she had where she encounters various obstacles and spiritual forces that test the soul's journey to enlightenment. In this vision, the soul must confront four powers that attempt to hinder its ascent. Darkness, desire, ignorance, and wrathful wisdom, basically anger. Each power represents a challenge that the soul must overcome to then reach liberation.

A key verse from this gospel states this. The soul answered and said, What binds me has been slain and what surrounds me has been overcome. And my desire has been ended and ignorance has died. Again, we seem to be getting a lot of Buddhist kind of vibes from these lost gospels about the soul's journey, being one of overcoming earthly attachment and sort of allusions to, you know, attain true spiritual freedom, I guess.

It's interesting that there's so much overlap between like Eastern religions and, you know, these sort of lost sort of gospel texts. At one point in the gospel, Peter, one of Jesus's, you know, homies, one of his closest disciples, again, the guy he basically like handed over the church to, which as a little fun fact, you know, Peter, literally meaning rock in Christ says to Peter, like, you are the the rock that I will build by church on. Catholics sort of see Peter as the first pope, an unbroken lineage that's gone on until this day.

Again, just a little plug for the Catholic Church. Basically, Mary is recounting the profound teachings that Jesus imparted on her. Andrew and Peter, they're baffled. They express disbelief and skepticism, and they're questioning why Jesus would entrust like some lady with, you know, this infinite wisdom. And Peter even goes on to say,

did he really speak with a woman without our knowledge and not openly are we to turn about and all just listen to her did he like her more than us i mean it's kind of funny you know i mean like i feel that way like if one of my homies was like my boy and then he dies and all of a sudden like some girl that you know he used to like hook up with or something came to me and was like hey by the way this is what he really i'd be like yo what what about us like what about our our bond you know what we were homies. We went out together. We did shit. Basically saying, again, Peter's just like, yeah, there's no way that, no way that, you know, Jesus would give us wisdom to a woman. But despite Peter's objections and, you know, another disciple, Levi, comes to Mary's defense,

rebuking Peter and acknowledging Mary's special relationship with Jesus. He states, surely the Savior knows her very well. That's why he loved her more than us. Damn. Take that, Peter. that's that stinks that's got to feel bad bro when even your own boy like nah you you don't you didn't know her like she knew like she didn't know him like she knew him like that's that's not for you you know what i mean just stay in your lane all right let her let her spout off some of the Gnostics believe that the exclusion of the gospel of mary from the biblical canon was because again it challenges the patriarchal foundations of what was becoming Christianity at the time again i believe in the Bible Bible. I don't know this apocryphal stuff. I don't know about it. But it is, like I said, it's very

interesting to look at. Is there something in here? I mean, I think there's elements of this gospel we can look at and be like, oh yeah, you know, all of these things, all these obstacles that we're trying to overcome. These are good things that we should, you know, try to surpass. We shouldn't be angry. We should try to be disciplined. We should try to be kind. But yeah, that's the gospel of Mary Magdalene. Interesting one. But not quite as interesting as the apocalypse of Peter. Yes, that Peter. You know who we're talking about. The Apocalypse of Peter is one of the earliest and most graphic depictions of the afterlife in all of Christian literature ever, which is saying a lot because there's a lot of apocalyptic descriptions. The Apocalypse of Peter offers basically like this terrifying tour of hell and a brief glimpse at heaven.

This is written in like the second century and the text stands as basically like the precursor to Dante's Inferno. And it details with specificity the punishments awaiting sinners in the afterlife. It's horrifying. Unlike a lot of familiar biblical texts, the Apocalypse of Peter doesn't focus on messages of love or redemption or forgiveness or, you know, be a good guy. Instead, it just is a vivid vision of divine justice where each punishment is tailored to the sins committed in life. It's very much like an eye for an eye.

It's like, you know, if you did this on heaven, you're doing this in hell. For example, those who blasphamed are hung by their tongues over a lake of burning fire, while women who have committed adultery are suspended by their hair over a boiling pot of water. I mean, it's crazy. One particularly disturbing scene shows a woman who had abortions tormented by their unborn children. That is wild. but I mean if you're going to have an abortion

I can't imagine you're going to have like 10 like you could take a kid right I don't know don't hang me by my tongue over a lake of fire I'm just I'm just kind of riffing okay according to the apocalypse of Peter Jesus reveals this vision to the apostle Peter

showing him the fate of both the righteous and the wicked Peter witnessed not only the gruesome tortures of hell but also the beauty of heaven which is kind of nice right and kind of plays both sides and in heaven it's actually pretty sweet i mean the righteous dwell in eternal bliss as it's written the text however is mostly focused on on hell and heaven gets like a little five minute like

by the way heaven is is sick but hell look at this is terrifying there's two versions of this text there's a like a shorter greek version and then there's actually a longer Ethiopian version of the text both believed to be derived from the original that was written in greek by peter the Ethiopian version which survived in better condition offers even a more comprehensive view of the afterlife. So the text was not widely read at all and it was even considered for inclusion into the New Testament. This is one of the few books that never got included

that actually was on the docket. Like, hey, should we, this is fire, literally. It appears in what's known as the moratorium fragment, one of the earliest surviving lists of approved Christian. books. That's what makes this really interesting to me because it's like, you know, this was almost Sunday school. This was almost, you know, eight-year-old Mark sitting in church being like, hey, you're going to get hung by your tongue over a lake of fire. Pretty wild. And I always wonder, like, how this would have affected the church, like had this been included, like we see much more

of like a fire and brimstone type of thing happening in like puritanical America. Like, would this have been happening all the way through? It's interesting. I don't know. However, the church basically, you know, solidified its doctrine and the apocalypse of Peter kind of fell out. Its emphasis on retribution and like how graphic it is sort of, it didn't really fit in sort of the early Christian church's notion of forgiveness and redemption and salvation. And it just sort of focuses on the doom and gloom and the horrors of hell. But maybe they should have kept it. I don't know.

It's basically like, like, scared straight for the Bible. It's like, you know, you want this? my favorite scared straight moment is really the kid he's just not scared at all like they just take him in they're like you want to be in prison he's like y'all fuck you up he's like eight years old it's a great clip it's awesome but it's like i don't know i don't me growing up catholic i just i don't i don't feel like uh focusing on like hell and like how much god is going to torture everyone if you don't behave is an effective strategy i don't know I find, like, redemption and God loves you and salvation,

and he's, you know, trying to, you know, improve the world and he died for our sins. I find that a much more compelling story than, you know, believe in God or else you get hung by your hair and get, you know, tortured by unborn children. It's pretty sketchy. I want to know the sins that correlate with the hell. Like, you jerk off, you beat it one time. What happens to you? You get gang bang for eternity?

Like these are the things that I'm curious about I don't know I would love to know every Like if you lie one time Are you just in hell and You just kind of get just like tricked Like you just get Petty lies to you for eternity Like oh dude you look you look great today

And you're like what the fuck does that mean Are you fuck with me? I don't know I think that would be If I was writing it if I was Peter I would have slid in some more like innocuous ones All right let's move on to another one This is the Books of Enoch this is a classic if you're familiar with this i mean maybe you've seen the episode i did with

dr jeremy huddlin brilliant guy bible scholar speaks like ten languages he's a genius and we talked about it a little bit you should check out that episode we talked about it in more length that we'll talk about today uh but i'll give just kind of like a brief overview because it's too interesting to not bring up the book of enoch also known as one enoch is basically like a jewish apocalyptic text that offers this like crazy view of the universe and how things came to be in the creation of the universe and how it all went down. It was written, they believed sometime in like the third or first century BCE. So this actually predates Christ.

And it's divided into a bunch of different sections, the most famous one of the one that everyone likes. The Book of the Watchers. Yes. This is the part of the story that talks about the Watchers. Basically, these angels who come down to Earth and they lust it after human women. Yeah. They're trying to bang our chicks. Again, it's so much of these old stories.

of them just trying to bang our women. And basically these kind of angels come down. They're trying to bang American. They're trying to bang American chicks. They're trying to get at Sidney-Sweeney. Okay, that's really what it's all about. And because of this sort of lust for, you know, earthly women, they then father this race of giants known as Nephilim.

And these fallen angels are not only corrupted, not only do they corrupt humanity, they introduce forbidden knowledge and magic and, and usage of cosmetics and all of these sort of like crazy things. There's like verses in there where it's like, oh, people started wearing lipstick. Like they talk about like makeup. It's crazy. And they basically turn the world into chaos and evil.

Enoch, as it's told, is the great grandfather of Noah, who we know, obviously built a boat, put some animals on there, sailed off from the sunset. And he's chosen by God to intercede for all of humanity. Basically, Earth's designated like, he's the middleman. You know what I mean? He's like, God's like, yeah, you just, you're my guy. You're the plug for divine wisdom. And basically through a series of visions and like journeys into the cosmos with God, he witnesses the fate of the watchers who are bound and imprisoned for their sins, this lust for women, and sees the ultimate destruction of the Nephilim in the flood, which is why there's so many people that are like,

we got to find the bones. Which I don't know. I don't know if the bones, I don't know if you find any bones. Like you find dinosaurs and shit, but I don't know, maybe that's what the Nephilim were. The narrative describes, like, heavenly realms and angelic hierarchies and the archangels, Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, Uriel, which I think are all Ninja Turtles. Anyway, one Enoch is considered an important text, and it's fascinating to look at both from the Jewish tradition and as well as the Christian tradition, but it was excluded from biblical canon in part because of its depictions of, like, angels banging humans making half-human centaur. making centaurs basically and uh basically enoch is seen as like too mystical and and too profound to include um it's fascinating it's like one of these things that like kind of ties in with other sort of like mystical lore that exists from around the world like the ananaki is a thing that people always talk about uh basically like these aliens that come down that create earth and try to create

human beings to like mine for gold on earth to power the planet that the ananaki left it's all pretty wild, but it's interesting to see ancient, ancient texts. I mean, even predating Christ that talk about these type of, you know, angelic interspecies hookups. But that's not the only book the Enoch wrote. This guy was busy. He also wrote Second Enoch. And this is known as the secrets of Enoch. And it's actually even crazier in some ways to Enoch one. It basically follows up on Enoch's journey through the Ten Heavens, where he encounters different angelic beings and sort of cosmic wonders and even the throne of God himself. And this was, again, lightly written in like the first century BC. Second Enoch is kind of shows Enoch as like this cosmic, you know, sort of like

sailor going through like this elevator ride from these two angels. And Enoch is taken through each level of heaven witnessing the wonders of paradise and the torment of fallen angels and the celestial mechanisms that govern the cosmos. And notably, the text introduces the idea of Enoch's transformation into the angel Metatron. Yes, Meditron. Not, he's not a, no, he's not a transformer. He's an angel, Metatron.

And this kind of shows like this transcendence of Enoch into this like powerful and exalted being within this heavenly hierarchy. As Metatron, Enoch becomes the prince of the presence. a celestial scribe who like records the deeds of humanity and serves as gods intermediary, I guess. I mean, it seems convenient, right, that Enoch himself is like, by the way, I'm also an angel. It's like, all right, well, you're also writing the book. But there's a couple things that we can look at in this sort of scripture and draw some interesting conclusions. He goes through the levels of heaven, which again is not really talked about in mainstream Christian theology.

but this is how it's described in Second Enoch. First heaven, Enoch sees the angel who controls the atmospheric phenomena, such as like rain and snow. So there you go. I mean, this is in the Jewish Bible, so maybe they do control the weather. And then second heaven, Enoch witnesses fallen angels being tortured for their rebellion, which I guess that's a part of it. Like you go to heaven, you're like, let me see, let me see these guys get fucked up.

Like that's, I don't know. Apparently that's what you want to do in heaven. Not what I would do. I would be like, I'll skip second heaven, I'm good. Third heaven encounters both the paradise of the righteous and the hellish torment of sinners. Again, a lot of retribution, a lot of like, all right, I skipped second, now we're in third, more torment. Let's go to the fourth and also the ninth heavens, which are basically kind of like the, these are kind of all kind of bound into one. They're not that descript from each other.

He observes the movements of celestial bodies, the realm of archangels, and the angelic, wires that sing praises to God. Everything is amazing. And then the 10th heaven. This is the big one. God meets Enoch face to face. Yeah. Enoch goes all the way up. This is basically Dante's inferno but reverse. He goes all the way up to the 10th heaven, sees God and witnesses the divine throne and the highest secrets of the universe. Pretty sweet. Right? I mean, it's like insane. You're like, what? You go through all 10 levels of heaven? Like, I don't know. I read that book, 10 people you meet in heaven, and it never once brought up like, oh yeah, you also see sinners get tormented forever. That's a part of it. There's like a viewing room. I don't know.

Seems crazy. But this idea of going through these levels of heaven and Metatron set a foundation for Jewish mysticism and kind of influences these ideas of like and geology as it's called, like the study and like the history of angels and a lot of like the cosmological roots of a lot of like rabbinic traditions like the traditions of the rabbis and enoch too suggests that heaven is like this complicated structured universe and not just like a place in the clouds where you go and chill it's like this like it's like a city it's like a metropolis or something like that and then there's the third book of enoch this is written in like the fifth or six centuries after christ and it represents the culmination of enoch's transformation right again this is a guy that goes to heaven becomes

Metatron sees God, gets the secrets in the universe, and third Enoch kind of ties it all up. In this text, Enoch is no longer a human being, but is fully transformed into the Archangel Metatron. And if you're looking for names for your children, I would really recommend that one. It is an old religious name. Just tell people that I'd be like, oh, this is my boy, you know, Medi. It's short from Metron. He's a biblical name.

It's a family name. Well, he's one of the most powerful beings at this point in the entire celestial hierarchy. And here, Enoch, aka Metatron, serves again as the scribe and the mediator between God and humanity, bridging the gap between heaven and earth. It delves deeper into, again, these mystical traditions describing his journey through heaven where he's crowned and given authority over other angels. And there's like a whole hierarchy, which, I don't know. If I was an angel, just dealing with like politics is like, that's not heaven to me.

Like you're like, oh, I'm working my way up the ladder. And you're like, oh, damn, Metatron got my job. Like, I don't know. I would be pissed. If I'm in a corporate, if I'm in a corporate structure, if I'm doing like an MLM in heaven, I would be pissed. But in the book, again, it describes Enoch's sort of transformation into Metatron. And this is kind of how it's described.

His flesh becomes flame. His veins turn into fire and his eyelashes transform into flashes of lightning. He's granted immense wisdom and knowledge becoming the lesser. Yahweh, second only to God himself. I mean, look, if you're going to write a book about you and the things you believe, sure, put yourself as second to God. You know what I mean? It just seems a little too convenient. I don't know. It seems a little out there. And you go through the books and you're like, okay, this guy's definitely just maybe out of his mind. I don't even, I don't even think Enoch wrote the third book of Enoch. I think it was carried on by, carried on by people that sort of

believed in the ideas of the first and second books. But it was ultimately not included in the Bible. For what reason? We'll never know. You know, Metatron going into heaven and becoming basically God himself. It seems like it was excluded, you know, according to different scholars, because of sort of like the cosmology and sort of like these other ideas that don't really fit within like the early church doctrine of, you know, like, you know, follow Christ.

and follow his teachings and try to, you know, live a good moral life and love God and love your neighbor. It's kind of like, you know, you can ascend and become second to God himself. I don't know. It seems like there's elements of it that are trying to, that seem heretical that you can become a God in your own right. It's not really within the teaching of the early Christians. And then furthermore, like the first Enoch, like the idea of angels mating with humans and giants and, which, I mean, there are references to this and other parts of the Bible that are included, but it seems like Enoch maybe was just a little too, I don't know, maybe a little too visceral for the early churches, for the early churches liking.

So as a result, these texts were banned and excluded from Jewish and Christian canon, but their influence is still absolutely enduring. I mean, it's definitely shaped later mystical traditions and esoteric teachings and, you know, both Jewish and Christian scholars have poured through these texts to try to, you know, either just understand them on a literary perspective. or maybe even try to, you know, ascertain some type of esoteric knowledge. Pretty interesting. Now, let's talk about the Testament of Solomon. Testament of Solomon takes us to this sort of, again, a mysterious blend of ancient wisdom and magic and demons. And it portrays King Solomon, who, as we know, from the Bible, in a role far beyond that of the wise ruler. Obviously, King Solomon, most famously known for, you know, the famous little, you know, story of the woman that brings

her baby to King Solomon, they're like, oh, this is my baby. And then another woman's like, no, this is my baby. And King Solomon's like, cut the baby in half. You can have the head. You can have the legs. And that way you both get the baby. And then the true mother, the one that didn't have the baby was like, no, no, no, fine, she can have it. She can have the baby. Just keep them alive. And Solomon was like, you are the true mother because you didn't want the child to be cut in half. Regardless. King Solomon, smart guy, right? According to the text, Solomon wasn't just known for his wisdom, but also his ability to command demons. And they ultimately helped him build the first temple in Jerusalem.

Again, this is not included in the Bible, but is a very fascinating story and a very interesting ancient text to look at. It all begins when a young boy working on the temple suddenly starts growing weaker and weaker. The reason, a demon, who I won't even say the name, because as much as I'm like, I've never seen a demon, I don't even like messing with this. Okay, we can put his name on the screen here. This is, I'm not, I don't want to conjure up a demon in my tent. Basically, this demon was draining the boy's life force by sucking on his right thumb.

King Solomon, deeply troubled by this, prayed for guidance. And in response, the archangel Michael appears to him and gives Solomon a ring. Sound familiar? Inscribed on this ring with the seal of God, which would allow him to summon and control demons. everybody wants the ring and if you have the ring it takes your strength I know it sounds like Lord of the Rings

but it's not all right this is Solomon with this ring Solomon is able to capture this demon marking the beginning of a supernatural construction project unlike any other that's right

the temple he didn't just capture him he sent the demon out with the ring to bring back Beelzebub the prince of the demons basically Beelzeb Shalabab comes back and under his control, Solomon gains dominion over the countless other demons who he interrogates one by one, just like bang, bitch slaps all the demons, until each demon reveals its names, powers, and even their weaknesses, each confessing to ailments and troubles and financial issues. Some of them are in debt or something. And that all the things that they do and the troubles that they inflict on humans. One such demon, again, why say the name? Why even bring that into the tent? Okay. It's not worth it. one of the demons admitted that he led people into temptation and lust

while another demon had the power to lift enormous objects Solomon hears this he's like what you can lift heavy shit that could be a little bit useful as Solomon continues questioning all these demons he learns about their connection to astrology and Greek mythology and all these other traditions I mean just an example like there's seven demon sisters that are you know claim to represent Pleidaeus a cluster of stars in Greek mythology There's also a demon who could change forms and appear it as the Greek Titan, Kronos, the god of time.

And while another demon was able to have this striking resemblance to Medusa, again, there's all written in this sort of apocryphal text that Solomon was able to just force these demons to give up their name. There's an interesting thing actually within Christianity that once you know the name of something, you're able to control it, which is interesting. And I think partially where this text gets inspiration. or maybe where we get inspiration from the text, that by knowing the name you're able to conjure or, you know, basically do your bidding

with these beings or these forces, which is why I'm not saying the names. You know, why risk it? Again, I've never seen a demon, but today's not going to be the day. One by one, Solomon uses this magic ring to force the demons into labor. They basically make some, like,

haul these massive stones and cut marble and bring materials from other places, and they build up this beautiful temple of Jerusalem. But the tale gets a little darker as Solomon's own desire starts to betray him. The story concludes with Solomon's fall from grace. He becomes infatuated with this Shunumite woman, which is basically a woman from the area

who convinces him to worship a pagan god, one of them being Moloch. Again, you've ever heard of Moloch? You ever heard of Bohemian Grove? Right? This is a giant owl thing. Basically, he's now infatuated. He's interested in these gods, Moloch.

Refan. Remfan. This is another god. And basically, she's like, hey, if you want to, if you want to hit, like, how but you just cozy up to some of my gods? Look at these gods. You can worship them. And then we can just ride off, you know, be happy.

You and me, married forever. And despite initially resisting, Solomon's like, no, I'm not doing it. He eventually gives him. And he offers sacrifices to these false gods and the divine wisdom and power that Solomon once possessed, which again is very common in the traditional canon. He loses it. And in the end, Solomon is humbled, realizing how far he strayed from his original path. And he writes the Testament kind of as like a warning, urging the future generations and wise people not to make the same mistake, to resist the allure of power and temptation to stay faithful to the. the one true God. So that's basically the Testament of Solomon. It's fascinating. It's interesting. It does make me wonder if this is where Lord of the Rings came from. I mean, like you get this

ring with like untold power that then you use for good, but then you slowly become evil and you succumb to the power. It's also just a, I don't know, it seems like a valuable tale that absolute power corrupts absolutely, which I think we see all the time. I mean, good, you know, strong people that start some charity or foundation ultimately, you know, get this more. decay and they ended up using the charity for, you know, false pretenses or means that they never should have been using it for in the first place. An old saying that I actually saw recently that every cause ultimately becomes a business and every business ultimately becomes a racket. And I think that's fairly true. I mean, you see it all the time where like someone starts a charity.

Like there's one charity. Like a cancer charity that like apparently like 5% of the money goes to cancer research. But back of the day it was like 90% of it. Look, power corrupts people absolutely. and I think if there's anything we can glean from this this testament, that even the most wise and powerful king of all, Solomon, given this just obscene amount of power, ultimately succumbs to the power itself. One more, shall we? This is known as the infancy gospel of Thomas. Now, the infancy gospel of Thomas is, again, a interesting but controversial glimpse into Christ himself, but not Christ as we've seen him. in the other gospels and even the other sort of banned gospels. This is Christ as a child.

Very interesting, thus the infancy gospel of Thomas. It portrays Christ as just a young boy kind of learning his way as this sort of... Basically, you've seen Hercules. You know how Hercules starts with like a teenage Hercules that can't control his power? That's basically the infancy gospel of Thomas. In the narrative, young Jesus is depicted as a child endowed with immense and unchecked supernatural powers, power that he doesn't always use in ways you might expect from the Son of God. Again, not that I believe this, but this is what is included in here. I think the earliest notion of Christ

that we have in the traditional Christian canon is, you know, when Christ goes missing from Mary and Joseph, and they're trying to find him, and they find him in the temple speaking and sort of almost lecturing the elders of the temple. And when Mary finds Jesus, she's like, Jesus, we're looking for you all day. He just goes, mother. I actually think he says a woman, which is hilarious. It sounds disrespectful. It's like, woman, did you not know? But apparently in the time, it was seen as a term of respect. Basically, it says, woman, did you not know that it would be in my father's house? Kind of a bar. But that's like a teenage Jesus that we hear about in the actual Christian canon. Now again, the infancy gospel goes way farther. It starts with Jesus at the age of five,

playing near a flowing stream after a rainstorm. He shapes the muddy clay into these small birds and a neighbor who's outraged at the violation of the Sabbath reports Jesus to his father Joseph and then rather than being scolded Jesus claps his hands and commands these like clay birds that he made to take flight and astonishingly

they fly away leaving everyone stunned and silent it's literally like a magicer he's like David Copperfield he's like pooh and dubs fly and everyone's like what the hell this moment again foreshadows his future miracles but as a young supernatural

son of God man hybrid, his mood kind of changes, as we'll see. Soon after, we see like a more fearsome side of, you know, teenage Jesus where like a boy bumps into him and in a flash of anger, Jesus curses the boy, causes him to collapse and die on the spot. Doesn't really sound like the Jesus I know. But if I had the power of God, you know, and some kid checks me while I'm playing soccer, bang, dead. Sorry, sub him out, red card. It's what I would do. But again, I don't. I don't I don't know if that's what the son of God necessarily would do. Basically, the incident spreads throughout the town,

and people begin to view young Jesus as, you know, sort of like terrified but also, like, amazed by him that he has these, like, supernatural powers. It's literally the beginning of Hercules, where he's able to, like, stop the pillars from falling while he's playing Frisbee. You remember that? Technically, discus.

His father, Joseph, urges him to tone down his behavior. He's like, little savior. Stop. But instead of calming down, Jesus responds by blinding everyone, who complained. Yeah. He's like a teen. He's an angsty little dude. He's like, yo, you're going to tell me to temper down on my powers? How about some dubs? Bang, blinded. Like, it's crazy. The gospel continues with a series of episodes that show Jesus sort of grappling with his powers in both kind

of miraculous but also troubling ways, as we'll see. In one instance, a teacher named Zechias tries to instruct him, but Jesus, instead of being a humble and polite student, mocks the teacher's lack of knowledge. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. That's what he says. He literally looks at Zakias. He's like, oh, really? You're going to tell me, son of God. Zakias realizes that he's in the presence of a power far beyond his understanding.

And he literally says, woe is me. This child is simply not of this earth. What kind of womb bore him? What kind of mother raised him? Literally being like, who the, where's your mom? Like, he's like, tell your mother. I said, you ain't shit. That's what Zakiya said.

It's crazy that this is even like, considered? I don't know. For me as a Christian, I'm reading this. I'm like, I wouldn't, yeah, this can't be in the Bible. Jesus just being a shithead as a kid. I don't know. As a story progresses, we see Jesus becoming a little more softer. You know, he's going through puberty, he's figuring things out. It's hard being a kid. And then we see the more passionate side of Jesus kind of coming out. Like, for example, there's one story where a child falls from the roof and dies, and Jesus rushes to his side and then brings him back to life and assures everyone that he didn't push him, which is kind of nice.

He's like, I didn't do it, which makes me immediately be like, okay, Jesus definitely pushed him. I was like, oh, fuck, I killed this kid. Let me save him. In another instance,

he heals a man who cut his foot off with an axe. These moments show kind of like a gradual shift as Jesus begins to understand that he has these powers and he needs to use them for good and foreshadowing the healer that he would eventually become

like we see in the story of Lazarus. The infancy gospel concludes with a familiar scene. 12-year-old Jesus in the temple, like I had mentioned, earlier, astonishing scholars with his wisdom, echoing the canonical Gospels of Luke. And despite its wild and sometimes unsettling depiction, this narrative serves as an exploration of Jesus' journey from an impulsive, supernatural child, like the kid from The Incredibles or something. You know what I mean? It sounds like, who's the kid, Dash? No, the fiery one,

the fiery baby from the Incredibles. That's basically how they describe Jesus. And it kind of ends with that sort of story that brings us up to speed. with what we know about in the Bible. It shows him as this, like, guy trying to figure it out to then ultimately understanding to how to use his powers for good. The Gospel of Thomas is likely excluded from the Bible for very obvious reasons. I mean, it shows Jesus, the son of God and God himself,

as a young person that curses and kills and blinds people who's not humble at all. And this, again, is in direct contrast with what, you know, Christians around the world understand of Christ as, you know, the ultimate symbol of humility and kindness and compassion and the son of God who died for the sins of a broken people. But nevertheless, kind of interesting to read about, you know, it gives like a unique sort of perspective as, you know, to how people at the time might have tried to put more pieces together of Christ and his mysterious childhood

that we don't really know anything about. So there you have it. Those are all the most interesting ancient texts that, you know, talk about Christ and, you know, biblical elements that were not included in the Hebrew Bible or the Christian Bible, but nevertheless influenced the way that, you know, religious scholars and, you know, people interested in the esoteric realm and the sort of cosmic worlds, definitely influences the way people think about things today. I mean, things like Enoch and even the infancy gospels, you hear people talk about and they're like, oh, did you hear this? This is why it wasn't included and da-da-da-da-da.

I don't know. What do I make of it? I think it's all very interesting. I think it's cool to look at. I have a lot of fun reading about it. Maybe some elements kind of inform the way that I feel about, you know, like my spiritual journey in some capacity, you know, things like, you know, the Gospel of Mary Magdalene, you know,

like, you know, try to overcome these evil things. And, you know, it's interesting seeing how, like, other elements of the Bible kind of tie in with these sort of other apocryphal elements that we definitely reject. And how early writers were trying to, you know, contribute to this canon oftentimes in misguided ways. So there you have it, folks. Another episode of Religion Camp, all the banned books of the Bible and why they were cut out. Thanks for joining us. See you next time. Peace be with you.