Camp Gagnon - Most EVIL Dictators EVER Ranked (2025 Tier List)

Episode Date: April 1, 2025

🚨 Make Sure To Rate Us 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟What compelled these world leaders at one point to wild out? Join us, as we talk about some of the most evil dictators throughout time and even rank them! WELCOME TO CAMP! 🏕️Shoutout to our sponsor: Morgan & Morgan and Bluechew 👕🧢 GET YOUR CAMP DRIP HERE: https://campgoods.co/🏕️ Get Today In History Email Here (Free): https://camp.beehiiv.com/Thank you to our special, handsome, guest : Deric & HassanTIMESTAMP: 0:00 Etymology of Dictator4:20 Vlad The Impaler16:48 Joseph Stalin + 7 Million Bodies +OG Photoshop26:50 Stalin’s Paranoia + Gulags + Stalin’s Son Held For Ransom35:17 Hitler and Stalin Never Met38:39 Unknown Facts About Hitler49:38 Mao Zedong’s Atrocious Acts + Weirdest Quirks1:03:05 Pol Pot + People With Glasses Executed1:14:46 Saparmurat Niyazov1:21:15 Muammar Gaddafi + The Virgin Bodyguards1:26:49 Idi Amin1:33:05 The Beatles Chased Out of Airport + Leopold II1:35:53 IShowSpeed as Next Dictator?1:37:31 Saddam Hussein’s Purge + Mobutu Hosted Rumble In The Jungle + Julius Caesar1:40:15 Final Thoughts + Cargo Cults

Dictators, some of the most evil people to ever walk the face of the earth. These are tyrannical autocrats that seize power either through a military coup or through their own cunning and take over control of a country and no one can say a thing about it. And today we're ranking all the most evil dictators. That's right. All the people and the names you've heard in history books but never really knew who they were. Everyone from Hitler, Pol Pot, Joseph Stalin, Mao Zedong, Vlad the Impaler. And we're going to rank the atrocities that they did, the most evil things that they did to their own people.

and where they fall on the list of the most evil dictator of all time. Who do you think it will be? Because it's probably not that person. But today, don't worry, we're breaking it all down. So sit back, relax, and welcome to camp. What's up, people, and welcome back to camp. I'm not here in my beautiful tent, unfortunately, but I am in Austin, Texas,

and I'm here with the good citizens of Austin here today with Derek Posten and Asan Ahmad. What's up, guys? Let's go. Camp, finally. Let's go. Now, this isn't a regular episode of camp. Sometimes with camp, I'm talking to experts, I'm talking to really smart people. I'm talking to geniuses.

I'm talking to good, moral, ethical human beings. But today, we're not doing that. Today is tent talks, all right? But normally we're in a tent, it kind of makes more sense. But now it just kind of sounds like a weird rhyme. But with tent talks, that's the show where I explain the most interesting, fascinating, and controversial topics from around the world to my dumbest friends. Huh.

And that's why you guys are here. Well, I'm excited. Such a great energy. Perfect, right? Yeah, perfect. We were talking about this topic. I think it's a great one. Ranking the worst dictators of all time.

Or the best dictator. Again, the framing of this is going to matter. Because that's a great question. Yeah. If we're going to rank them by worst or best, is it like most efficient best or like worse like, oh, that's the most evil person? So let's figure this out together. Okay.

I think the framing should be the, the top is the most evil. And then the bottom is less evil, but still evil. Yeah. Still evil. If you're on the list, bro. Yeah. If you got the dick in the name, you're evil.

I think that's, we can accept that. Right. Yeah, I feel like number of people killed is going to play a very big role. Oh, my goodness. I feel like we're back in the argument we had yesterday. Wait, you guys know, what does the word dictator mean? Like, and where was it originated? Do you know?

I have no idea, actually. That's a great question. Let's find out. You know what made me think that? Yesterday when Brian was, we all in the room when Brian Simpson was talking about the word decimate? No. He said it was invented by the Romans because what they would do, I thought this was genius. What they would do is if a man, if a soldier, like, abandoned, you know, deserted, what they would do is they would take that squadron and kill every 10th person randomly.

Deaths, 10. Wow. Decimate. So that's how that word was originated. Oh, that's crazy. I thought that was so cool. Yeah. You should have Brian on this pocket.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been a lot better. Yeah, he's doing it. Listen to you guys talking yesterday. I'll be like, oh, okay, maybe it should be just them. No, no, no, no, I know. We need you guys to figure out the dictators, okay? So, all right, this, I'm pretty sure the etymology is just from Latin, dictaer.

And I don't know what dicta means. Some guy who talks a lot, that's what it sounds like. Yeah. If you were sort of dicked. Oh, that's interesting. Dude, that's exactly right. Is that exactly right? It comes from dictaer meaning to say repeatedly assert or to order.

Who's the idiot now, but. I didn't expect to get curveball questions on that model. I thought we're going to go through the details, all right? But yeah, and so basically that's what a dictator. Some of these people are going to be dictators, you know, adjacent. You know, like some of the people we're going to be talking about, they're not necessarily what you would consider a dictator, but they are funny. So I think it's worth mentioning, okay?

You know? It's Ellen to Jersey. Yeah, Harvey Weiss team. Exactly. Okay. Because what is a dictator, right? Like, I was looking it up. It's basically like a person that comes in either through like a military coup or as an elected official and just never vacates.

Right. Different than a monarch who gets passed it down over time, even though sometimes monarchies can become dictatorships. Really? Yeah. So sometimes like it's... Game of Thrones. Yeah. Wait.

I mean... Can monarchies become dictatorships? Or can you just have an evil monarch? That's what it would be, but it wouldn't that be considered a dictator or is still just a monarch? No, because I think at the end of the day, the dickensers. dictator is someone who like kind of took it in a way, whether it be the elected or through a coup. Like when you're a monarch, you're just like you said, you're sort of giving it. Yeah, the monarch would become a dictator under the definition if the monarch is now no longer

listening to like the board, like the ruling family that controls. So like the king is obviously the lead monarch, but they would have like a court that they would consult with. Whereas dictators typically have no other consult. They might have generals and things that they talk to. But typically it's much more autocratic. Which I didn't realize. Okay. I get that. That makes sense then.

What's up, camp family? What's up, campers? Two big announcements. Don't skip this. Two massive announcements. The merch store is back open. That's right. Camp Goods is back in stock.

We got these hats that I'm wearing right now. I've been rocking them both on here. I'm on flagrant. I've been wearing them on stage. We got a bunch more hats like the ones behind me. You can see them all here on the website. We also got some shirts. Oh, man.

What is this one right here? Come on now. Come on now. Camp. gear for all terrain. We got some other ones. What is this one right here? Oh, this one's beautiful. This one might be one of my favorites. The colors are absolutely crazy. This is Camp Gagnon, vintage wisdom across the globe. Come on now. We got all that and more on the store. We also got these sick mugs right here. You might have seen me maybe sipping from one of these in some of the

recent episodes. These are sick. They are all available on the website, campgoods.com. Check it out. The link is in the description. And by supporting the merchandise, you are obviously supporting the show. You're supporting me and you're obviously, you know, supporting all the amazing people to make the show happen like Christos, who is currently throwing me T-shirts from underneath this desk here. So please check that out. Additionally, I'm on the road. That's right. I'm doing my one hour of stand-up comedy. Some of the greatest jokes ever written, okay? That's not true. But they are my jokes, and I wrote them. And I'll be in Portland, Maine on April 27th. And that one, I'm doing with Joey Avery. You know Joey Avery, a friend of the show. He sat across from me many times. I'm explaining some things to him.

and he might be my dumb friend, but he is a brilliant stand-up comedian, and we will be there in Portland, Maine. If you are in these areas, please come out, and we're adding a ton of dates all through the summers. So check out my website, themarkgagnon.com for all tour dates and updated info. Come hang out with me.

I talk to every single person after the show. If you want to kick it with me, maybe have a drink, I'll be there, and I will see you guys on the road. Now let's get back to the show. So let's just start with a fun one, shall we? Okay. Vlad the Impaler. You ever heard of this guy?

Is this the guy Dracula's based on? Exactly. Damn. Bram Stoker. Can we pull a picture of Vlad the Impalier? This guy is an absolute beast. Basically, he was like just this evil, evil dude, all right? Back in 1456 to 1462, okay?

If we get a picture of him, he looks handsome, to be honest. People love him, apparently, Romania. So, like, that's where, like, he became, like, a folk hero, like, after his death. But he did all sorts of crazy things. So basically, this guy, obviously, this guy, obviously. Ottoman invaders start approaching this guy, this place, Wallachia is like basically where he's like the ruler of. And he creates the most insane like fence where people are coming into the gates. As the Ottomans are approaching, he has 20 to 30,000 impaled corpses lining the Danube river. And that is how he scared away invaders and people coming to like take his shit. Damn. Giant like lines of just impaled corpses. I also think it's pronounced the Danube.

Is it, is that how it's pronounced? Yeah, pretty sure. What is the Danube? It's a river. I know it's a lot of big battles have been there. Like Napoleon fought around the Danube a lot. What is up with that? Yeah, there's just some sort of like rivers, I think, are easy to fight around.

Because they're like a natural, so it's like, it's a natural sort of barrier. So a lot of like, and it's water. So you sort of plan a lot around these sort of battles. Ancient battles are kind of weird where like they just sort of met up in a place. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's almost like school fights. Kind of romantic. Kind of romantic.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like even, I'm pretty. That was a weirdest part of like the art of war. It's like so like half the book is like how to conquer your enemies. And the other half is like when fighting in a river, get out of the river. Like that's like most of the book is about river river warfare. Yeah. The Danube.

Yeah, the Danube. Like rivers are like really big in ancient battles. It's like Caesar was a big deal because he crossed the Rubicon and that's a river. Yeah. Yeah. For whatever like rivers are just important. Washington? Yes.

Delaware. Delaware. All that shit. Damn. That's a good-ass point. Yeah, rivers are like super important until we have aircraft pretty much. Trade route probably also. You get like men and shit and say, hey, let's just meet on the river.

Yeah, it's like if you like burn the bridges on a river, then all of a sudden the opponent's, your opposing army, it's like they have to either rebuild or they're trapped. It's like crazy. Yeah. Yeah, they can't get supply lands through. It's like rivers are super important. And if there's 20,000 corpses impaled on the side of one. You're going to be scared.

You're going to be a little bit intimidated. Because you're already worried about the river. Yes. Yeah, yeah. The river's in the back. your mind. Damn, another problem? Yeah, exactly.

20 to 30,000 of them. He called it the Forest of the Impaled. And it basically worked better than any wall. This guy, the Ottoman Sultan Mehmed the second, the same guy that conquered Constantinople. He walked up to it and basically was like, I'm good.

Literally he was going to invade and take over this guy's whole kingdom. It was like, nah, I'm okay. And he just dipped. This guy, his signature technique was inserting wooden stage. through the rectum and hoisting the victims high up on poles where everyone could see him. So, like, prisoners of war, the enemies, like, even within his own court that would go against him. Are they alive when he's doing this?

No, sometimes, but not always. Insane. And he would want them to, oftentimes, like, die slowly where people could see him. And that was, like, his whole thing, putting them just in front of the castle, impaled. Oh, my God. So, like, some... The idea being that, like, oh, maybe if someone's walking up, on this, you can still hear some of them moaning.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Brue. And then apparently, this is a theory, this is apocryphal, okay? This is where Bram Stover gets the idea of Dracula, is that apparently this guy would dine with the impaled victims. And that he's alleged to have dipped his bread into their blood and ate their blood, which is where you get the idea of Dracula being like, or this guy being a vampire. So this, like, count that lives in, like, a castle and drinks people's blood for power

is based off of Vlad the Impaler. Crazy. I think he did it. I think he did it a lot? No, I think he probably did it like one time, but one was enough. It seems like white boy shit where like, you'd just be like,

yo, look how crazy I am. Ozzy Osbourne. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Like, did he eat a bat? Yes. Yes. Does he eat bats all the time? No.

Also, one was enough. Yeah, one's enough. One's enough. You have the right person to see you dip the bread in the blood and be like, tell people. Oh, you don't have to tell him. He's just like, oh my God.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So other legends that go around this, allegedly he killed his older brother by burying him alive. He captured him, buried him alive to get rid of his, you know, try to get his claim to the throne. That's a crazy time in life

where you're like, you have to kind of kill your brother if you want to. You know what I say that? Like, it's like far away. Like Kim Jong-un didn't just do that like 10 years ago. He killed his brother? Yeah, Kim Tunin and killed his brother.

Are we going to get to him later, or am I ruining it? Am I spoiling things? No, we're going to get to all of them. I mean, by all of them, we're going to get to like three more. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that's, I didn't, I didn't. He killed his brother. Yeah, was it confirmed?

In 1980 something? It was confirmed. You can see, you can see, no, in like 2010 or something. No, he didn't. There's video online. Oh, this is the one with the girls? The girls, yeah. So basically he had these girls.

I was the story. Yeah. Pretended it's a reality show and, like, slipped in poison. Yeah. And he was going to be the next dictator of Korea. So originally he was supposed to be the original, 2017. So in the airport, yeah. So originally he was supposed to be, I believe he was supposed to be the guy.

He looks very funny. Yeah, Kim Jong-un. That's so fun. They all look hilarious. That's a director. That guy makes great movie. That guy made Parasite. But yeah, he was supposed to be the guy, and then he got caught going to Disneyland in Japan, I believe.

And so he got knocked down for Kim Jong-un. But he's the oldest son, so there's, like, a legitimate claim to, like, the throne, quote unquote. So to get rid of his claim, they killed him. Also, I'm assuming going to Disney World, they're like, this isn't the kind of guy we want in charge. Yeah, you're supposed to... They got Mickey Mouse here. We're supposed to follow him? Yeah.

The thing about the Kim's is that they love Western stuff. They love Western stuff, apparently. But they don't show it publicly. But they love West. That's why Kim's Ruggling is friends with Dennis Rodman. Yeah. You can become friends with Dennis Rodman if you don't love the West. Dennis Rodman is the West.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He rebounds, has weird hair, wears white dresses. What's more of the West? Yeah. Osama bin Laden also, like, loved, like, just, just chilling, watching cars. That's, like, on his computer that the

comics get out of the caves in Pakistan was cars, one and two. Like, he was, like, he was just... Wait, quit playing. I thought you made cars, like, he liked... Like, I wrote in life's car. No.

He likes car. No. No. Chao. The queen, you know what I mean? Like, he was, like, in the caves. Like, his computer. had all these crazy files.

He was just like watching just like Western media. Just like, yo, this shit is far. That's a good, that's a good look. The Osama bin Laden hard drives. There's a lot of interesting stuff on there. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's stuff like that.

There's a lot of porn games? A lot of stuff like that. Wait, were there porn games? Porn games. Like puzzles that if you complete it, you got to see a naked picture. Oh, trying out to bus? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seen those ads.

I didn't know anyone actually clicked that. Well, when you're stuck in Pakistan with everyone looking for you, there's only so much you can do. Oh, that's crazy. Crazy. Well, based off this limited information we have on Vlad the Impaler, where do we want to put him? I mean, what's the, what's the tier list again? What's the rankings? Are we doing ultimate based? Is that the what we were doing? That was the one we were doing. I'm going to change it afterwards, but we'll just do most evil to least evil. Some people suggest that he killed like 80,000

people. I think that's like his rough death toll, but might be higher. I'm going to go, I'm going to go A big base, maybe. Mega base, the second one? Yeah, how do you feel he is? I feel like, I mean, bro, the impaling thing is cool. The dip in the blood thing and we're still talking about it now, it's fucking 2024-5? Five? It's even farther away.

It proves my point more, a little bit. A centimeter more. Slightly more. Yeah, so, bro, you got to, that's impressive, but we still talk about you and what you did in, what was he, 1400s? Yeah. I would say he's megabased. I would say he's the top one No, because you're going on too early

But there's going to be so many other dictators who did some cool shit Yeah, but how many other dictators created Dracula And like a whole genre of evil Like, bro, that's the first vampire But you're putting him up there with Hitler I would say so In terms of legacy I didn't know who he was until just now

We're going to put him under over here But you knew his story You knew the vibe You know Dracula Dracula ain't this nigga You knew his heart bro He is healthy He is that guy, though.

He's who Dracula's based on. Bro, no, hold on here. I think we're getting ahead of ourselves because he dipped the thing in the blood. It's cool. I was a fan of it, too, when we brought it up a stagull. Remember, I was campaigning for that. Right. But to act like that's the same level as killing six million Jews, mind you,

hardest people to kill. Yeah, very crafty. Very crafty, and they don't like it. They hate getting killed. They don't want to die. So, bro, he did, and we all know there's not a person on his. earth who don't know who Hitler is other than the people who live in like tribes and shit. But then a person in a modern society, nobody knows now Vlad the Impaler.

Bro, this guy is so evil. You want a couple more evil things that he did. This might influence your decision making. One of the most crazy stories is that he invited the sick and poor of the kingdom over to the castle for a feast and then lock them into a hall and then burn the whole thing down. The story appears in some historical account. and chronicles, including German pamphlets, written shortly after Vlad's reign. According to the sources, he invited beggars and the sick for a feast under the pretense of generosity,

but then burn the building down, claiming that he was trying to relieve them of their misery. I mean, dude. I mean, it's like, all right, you see his point. You're like, okay. Because he did just do the sick and the poor. Yeah. If there had been wealthy people in there? That's not cool.

They're not miserable. They're having a great time. They're having a good time. I get that he's like, man, bro, these niggas. If we can just get rid of these complaining about. Just get rid of a lot of these complaints. How sweet would everything be? Right?

No more beggars on the street? No more beggars on the street. Imagine how good you would just feel knowing and nobody's sick. Yeah, it's kind of crazy. He's cured all sickness. Bro, and also think about you are just kind of leaving like strong people left in the community. Right. You're building a race of like a eugenics program.

Well, where is he from? Like where he's from? Where would it be now? Romania. Romania. So it'd be Romania now? Yeah. And it was Romania then?

Transylvania. That's a real place. Yeah. This is Dracula is this guy. Like, it's not like they're like, he heard, no, he was like, this is Vlad the Impaler. How do I make him into a caravan? And it became Dracula. And then you spot, like, this is the spawn of vampires.

That's why. That's how evil. They were that scared of him, bro. Yes. He lived in the castle. He was drinking blood, killing people. That's why I'm saying it's mega base. Just because, like, bro, like, you know, like,

Yes, there's dictators that killed more people, but I don't know if there's any of the dictators that spawned a genre of villain and a genre of villain that's so used today, it's gone so far in the villain they became good guys in Twilight. You know how I mean? It's so crazy. Crazy, dude. Vampires are so part of every part of like any sort of like mythical monster villain.

They appear in everything. You won me over. Yeah, I think if he didn't spawn the vampire, there's a, there's an argument to be made for lower, for sure. But like that to me is what takes him over the edge. Yeah. But ultimate base means he up there with the big boys, though. I think he's up there with the big boys.

Okay. You won me over. The Twilight thing swung me because I... I know how to work there. I know. I've seen that. Yeah, yeah. The motherfuckerfuckers, Team Edward all the ways.

Yeah. Let's talk about Joseph Stalin, the man of steel. Leader of the Soviet Union, 1922 to 1953. But do you know about Stalin? 1922 to 1953? Yeah. He died and he was like 30-something? No, that was just his reign.

Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was more impressed. Like, damn, he knocked that out. Yeah. Damn. I look at the picture of him when he was young. If you look at him when he was young.

Oh, there's young. There's young. Second line. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's remarkably handsome. Mm-hmm. That makes sense. This is after he got smallpox and was, like, all pimpled out.

Like, apparently, like, got very sick as a kid. So this guy basically takes over the Bolsheviks and tries to take Russia from this backward agricultural society to an industrial powerhouse. And he did it through a very efficient and simple way. Just killed everyone that disagreed with him. Anyone that looks suspicious, anyone that was nearby when he was angry, he was just killing motherfuckers.

And he was down for the cause. Early on when he was taking over the whole Bolshevik party, he was robbing banks to, like, raise money for the party. Robbing hood shit. Yeah. He was like, literally robes. Stealing from the rich for the poor. Like literally rob him.

And they were like the communist part. Like, hey, we're going to take care of all the people. We're going to do the shit right. And we're going to steal money from the banks. And we're going to run the whole thing up. And he was going in robbing banks. No, with the gun. I'm pretty sure these mugshots were from when he was bank robbing.

Kind of crazy. So he basically is able to take over. Okay. Was he born in the highest family? No. Poor family in Georgia. He got it out to mud. Yeah.

from Atlanta. I grew up in Atlanta. And then he became the leader of the Red Army. Isn't that crazy? Oh, my God. You got hit with the Rico, bro, isn't that? But I feel like most dictators, you don't, or am I wrong? Do most dictators come from poor?

It's an interesting question, actually. I don't know. My feeling would be most of them kind of come from like middle to poorish. Yeah. Because you have to rise up and be a populist person. it feels like it's tough to be born rich yeah because I can get you like you said this I'm getting behind this guy because a guy stealing in America if a motherfucker started stealing from the banks Luigi imagine Luigi bro and you look like Luigi yeah yeah and you

making health care do shit and all that and it was just this guy who and he found out he was from Decatur he was just from where future's from then you would be like damn bro like even right now we would fuck with that guy right yeah right like because think about rich populace Like Donald Trump is a rich populace and he's super divisive. Yeah. I think that, I think that kind of in a way plays a part. Yeah, if he came from the mud mud, I think more people would be like,

yeah, that's crazy. That's a good point. The fact that he came from New York billionaires makes people, I think also is a deep down makes people go like, what's going on here? Washington came out of the mud, right? George. I think so.

He also wasn't a dictator, though. He wasn't like a populace. No, no, but I meant like, I'm talking about a guy rising up the way people revere him. I don't know. He had slaves, so makes me think he's rich. But didn't everybody have slaves?

No, poor people did not have slaves. Slaves are expensive. Very expensive. We looked into it. Yeah. Very expensive. I'm pretty sure Washington, when he left office, he was like, to this day, I think, like, the third richest president ever.

Like, he was extreme, like, part of the reason, allegedly, that he was, like, very pro-revolutionary war was because if they won the war, he would become one of the wealthiest men in the world. because of his land speculations and holdings within the United States. So he had a ton to gain personally from overthrowing the British monarch. Yeah, and if you're doing land speculation, that implies some money already.

No poor people. They're not going to allow poor people to be like, I own this land. Yeah. You know what, though, I respect it, because that's crazy, you're like, damn, he had a lot to gain from it, but he was the one out there fighting and shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, he's risking his neck, so it's like, yeah, yeah, right. With slave teeth the whole time. With slave teeth. Grills. The original. grill.

Is that race? Not bad. No, he could, yeah. And then he also knew to give the power away. So it's like, I mean, poor or not. That's impressive. Back to Stalin. Back to Stalin.

So let's just go through some of the evil shit, okay? Because again, all these people you could do fucking, there's millions of books on each person. So let's just kind of go through the bullet points. One of the craziest acts that he did when he first took over power, the Great Purge. This lasted from 1936 to 1938. And it's a time when Stalin's paranoia reached a tipping point

leading to the execution and imprisonment of over a million people accused of being enemies of the revolution. During his speeches, people would continuously clap as if he had performed a miracle. It wasn't just enthusiasm, it was fear. Everyone knew that the person to stop clapping might be the next on the execution list

and the atmosphere of terror that gripped the Soviet Union during the Great Purge. So the whole time he was talking, everyone was just clapping, just not stop. Because you didn't want to be the guy that looked like a hater. And so the whole crowd, kind of sounds nice, honestly. As a comic, you kind of hear that, and you're like,

sounds actually pretty chill. But the whole time, imagine, the dude's just speaking, everyone's just like, greatest ever. Love him. Crazy. Insane. He would do these, like, fake trials. He had this approach to eliminating perceived threats

where officials would confess to impossible crimes. They might claim to be spies from multiple countries simultaneously, Japan, Germany, Britain, America. These confessions were often extracted through torture or threats, and they were all public for everyone to see what was happening if you went against Stalin. Crazy. Crazy.

And then there's the Hulodomor. Have you heard of this? I've heard of this. I don't remember. This is basically agricultural reform that occurred in Ukraine. And this was a forced collectivization program. This was a five-year plan that basically boiled down to like, okay, everyone's going to die so that it can seize the farms.

It's a man-made famine that occurred in the Soviet Union from 19, 32 to 1933, the death tolls vary, but most scholars place around 3.5 to 7 million people in five years from famine. The demographic studies estimate 3.9 million direct losses, meaning that they died specifically from Stalin's regime, whereas 3 million or so died from the repercussions from disease and malnutrition. So they had these grain quotas, they had food confiscations, they had travel restrictions, and literally just like killed an entire country of people in five years. I think that would put him up there with pretty evil. I think he's killed more people in his country than Hitler did. Apparently he did. They said they teach you that in school.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's actually, it's an interesting thing, though, because you got to look at overall numbers versus proportion. Mm-hmm. So I think proportionally, Hitler killed like 20 percent, whereas Stalin killed like 15 percent, but he killed more people. Right. Okay. Because it's more people. Which I don't know if God cares.

You know what I mean? If God's doing the numbers on it. Like, if you're trying to go to heaven, if God's like, you did kill more people. people but it's technically less. Yeah, but per capita how much you killed? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that, I think God

would factor that in a little bit. Probably? Probably not, I don't know. Actually, I think one is enough for God to be like, what's going on here? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is crazy if you think about it. Killing one guy, like, if you met someone that killed one guy, you'd be like,

whoa, this guy killed seven million people. Oh my God! Like, it's an insane number. It's like so much that at a certain point, it's like, you lose track of... Think about how much stand-up we've done. How many people you perform in front of? I don't know if you perform in front of seven million

people. I don't know if we performed in front of one million people. Right? How many people? How many comics have performed in front of seven million people? I don't think, like, you'd have to, because to get to, think about that number. Yeah. Think about every person you've ever. A million's kind of crazy. Every person you've ever seen in a show. And that's barely a million.

Maybe Kevin Hart? Maybe. All right, I'm going to do this right now. I'm trying to think about, you'd have to be an arena act for so long. All right. So, let's see. Let me just see. So Fat Man is 250 people, right? Mm-hmm. So 7 million divided by 250 equals. That means you'd have to perform on Fat Man 28,000 times.

Wow. There's only 365 days in a year, bro. Yeah, yeah. You're getting up every day. That's what I mean. That's what? You get what, two or three? Okay.

If you're lucky? Let's say I just did Atlantic City with Tony, and that was 4,000. 4,000 people. So you'd have to do that 70,000 times. So that's what I'm saying. I don't think like, like,

Schultz and Shane probably been performed for seven million. That's why I said Kevin Hart. It has to be someone who does stadiums. He had to be Kevin Hart.

He's been doing it the long I'm saying, a stadium act. He's the longest one we've heard of, Kevin Hart. He's got to be the closest and I don't know

if he's at seven million. Yeah. Yeah. And he didn't kill any of them. Kevin Hart did not, like he didn't murder. No, he kills on stage. Yeah.

That's good. He does kill. He didn't murder them, I guess. He didn't murder. He didn't murder. That's awesome for him to do that. Yeah.

Like for Stalin to go kill all of them. This is my favorite sort of story about Stalin. You see that picture? It's the second row, third from the right, that one. So this is how paranoid he got. So those are like two of his trusted advisors. He killed both of them and would re-doctor the image. So the other two, like he killed everyone in that picture.

And every time he killed one, he would take one out of the picture. Oh, that's what? Yeah. Take them out or just replace their face? No, take them out. It was like OG Photoshop. Yes. Wait, so there was more people originally in this picture.

No, I think that's the full picture, and one by one, they all disappeared. He got super, super paranoid. Yeah, it was very weird. Yeah. I don't know what it was. I don't know if it was like mental. You killed 70 of people. You're like, this has got to come back at something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a carmic justice in some way. You have at a certain point, 7 million people, bro, you murder and everybody you meet. Yeah. Until 1953, I don't think he really got that justice. It's not like he got like, Hitler went to, Hitler will kill himself. But he was paranoid. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Think about it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Apparently he died of, uh, what was this? Just like illness. Yeah, he made it. He did it.

Yeah. That is crazy. Like, God eventually just had to take him out. But he became so private he once gave an order that no one can enter his bedroom chamber. And on one occasion, he faked being injured causing guards to come into his room to assist him. But then he had those guards executed for disobeying his orders. Crazy. Like, my.

He's a sane person. What level of parents? annoy are you where you're like tricking the people that are there to protect you. Think about any time you've ever had like a bouncer, like escort you somewhere, you're like so grateful for that guy taking care of you. And then this guy's murdering those people

by tricking them. Like impractical jokers. He's like, he's like doing bit. That's so funny. It's just Solve-Alcana in the other room like pretend you're sick. He's like, bro, I can't do it. I don't want to kill him. That's crazy. I don't do it. I'll do it.

It's insane. Oh my God, being that guard sounds awful, man. So then two weeks later, one night, while he's in his bedroom, he suffers a seizure. Fearing that the guards would be executed, they delayed entering his room for hours the next day, despite hearing no signs of their leader. By then the damage had been done, Stalin was found in a puddle of stale urine on the floor and died three days later. Well, he deserved that. What a dumb ass.

Yeah, a fucking idiot. What do you think was going to happen? Because you want to play game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you want to play games. Yeah. You're old. You spend all your time in this room.

Yeah. And then you execute people who are coming in. Yeah, of course. When there's a real emergency, they're not going to come in. Yeah. You cried wolf. Literally cried wolf. He created the gulags, forced labor camps, enemies of state.

And yeah, he was an insane person. He sent every artist in academic that hadn't fled the USSR to the gulags. So we would have been thrown in there. What are the gulags? Baisley's giant work camps. Prison camps. So anyone that, like, wasn't. producing their fair share of work within the USSR, if they were not meeting quotas, if they

weren't like the model worker citizen, they were sent to gulags to basically do like forced prison labor. So they'd be pushed out to like Siberia or some shit in just the cold just like fucking breaking rock. Yeah, like doing nothing. It's insane. And millions of people die on these gulogs. It's like an insane. Why do all this? All these all these dictators, I'm like just chill out. Bro, that is crazy. bro. That's like what he did for fun. That was his, that was his free time. All these dictators are just killing people just for

just for shits. Well, it's because you get so paranoid when you're up top and you got up top by killing people so you're like, well, people are going to try to be killing me. Val's hands raised. What's up, Val? I have a question. Yes. I've never really thought about this, but have these dictators who kill a lot of people ever

killed someone with their hand? Oh, that's a good question. Let's find out. I know Hitler, Hitler, fought in World War I. So he probably killed people. I think she's saying like, like after you've become the guy.

You're that guy and now I'm actually, I'm killing you myself, bro. I'm letting you know what time of it is. This is an interesting question. We got an answer right here. This one says, potentially as a bank robber, but as like a young revolutionary,

but it's never, it's never like confirmed that he like killed political opponents directly during his time. Because if I was a dictator, I wouldn't kill political opponents directly. I would try to get as many different people to kill all the people so they feel a part of it

and the blood's also on their hands. It's a level of control. Also, I got something on you. Yeah, I got something on you. I got something on everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you know, you want to act like you're this moral. Well, you killed this person.

I said to the Gulag. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, damn, bro. Yeah, dude. The Gulog system was insane. It's like literally enslaved millions of people. They were doing gold mining

in negative 40 degree temperatures, 16 hour work days. and one of the most notorious projects was the construction of the White Sea Baltic Canal between 31 and 33 they use these primitive tools like pickaxes and their bare hands to dig out a canal that was their job every day

wake up digging the dirt go home I just want to point out Val spelled gulag wrong and we should make fun of her for us G-O-O-G-L-L-A-L-L-A G-L-L-A-L-L-G. I still don't know how to spell it. G-U-L-L-L-A.

dude and then sometimes people would get out of the gulags they would be uh they would they would make it out and the release survivors often found their families disowning them in order to avoid persecution so even if you made it out you got to see your family your family be like we can't fuck with you because you were a prisoner so we're we're out the craziest thing is this uh canal despite the massive human cost was ineffective because it was too shallow and ships couldn't even pass through it so they built this whole canal millions of people die, and they can't even use it. It's insane.

That's so crazy. Yeah. So he was a pretty evil dude. I think that's reasonable to say, right? I think that's, I don't think anyone's going to challenge us on that. Yeah. Even his, oh, this is crazy. His own son was even punished. So he had the son, Yakoff.

He's captured by German forces in 1941 during World War II. Hitler offered a prisoner exchange for Yakoff, and Stalin reportedly refused stating, I do not trade field marshals for lieutenants. Damn, bro. That's crazy. That's crazy. His own son is captured, and he goes, no, we're not going to do it. And Yakoff, Stalin's son, dies in a concentration camp, and Stalin didn't even bail him out.

Damn. Are you fucking kidding me? Damn. Crazy. Like, Trump would get Baron out. Yeah, Trump would get Baron out, for sure. I would get Baron. I mean, I'd be like, dude, look at this guy.

You let Baron out. He was a child, bro. Barrie could get himself out, I think. He would just climb over whatever. Yeah, whatever eight-foot fence. He's fucking spider crawl over. Damn, bro, I don't trade lie lie lie lieutenants for field marshal's feet. His son.

His son. Oh, that's a bar. So by the time he died, estimated 20 million Soviet citizens had been killed through execution, forced labor, or famine. And when he eventually died in 53, uh, Soviet citizens openly wept in public, mostly from genuine relief, but they were afraid to show it. That wasn't 53. Think about how close

that was. Yeah. 53. People are alive from then. Yeah. My dad was born a year later. Yeah, that's crazy. And your dad's like a young dude. Like, you know what I mean? Like we could go biking with your dad. Yeah. That's crazy. And he was alive at the time that millions of people

were getting just killed. Murdered. Yeah, dude. So where do we put this guy? In terms of evilness. Above, above homeboy. Above Vlad. So if there's ultimate base, there's got to be ultra, ultra-dultra, ultra-dultra-based, dude. Well, you know, okay, because usually when I see tier-less, because it's not usually based, it's like A-tier, B-tier, C-tier. Yeah, that's how we're going to do it. And the top is S-tier.

Yeah, yeah. I think if we've, there should be an S-S-tier and, well, Stalin should be on it. I can't put it with Vlad, bro. And Vlad is S-tier, and then this would be like an S-S-Tier. Which goes back to my original point, Vlad is mega-based and Stalin is ultimate base. I get what you're saying. Because you got it, you had to leave some wiggle rule for that.

Right. That was crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I put him at the most evil, more evil than Vlad, for sure. Yeah, it's just so many more people. Yeah. Well, I guess what hurts him in terms of where overall, right,

is that he wasn't the most famous evil dictator during that time. Yeah, I don't know who his publicist was, but like, I feel like he didn't get nearly the recognition. Maybe it was on purpose, though. Was this a Dick Cheney situation? Or it's like, let Hitler be all on the thing, and I'm a kind of, uh... I think the big difference is,

Stalin killed his own people, whereas Hitler went in to places that he weren't his and then killed people there. That's an interesting point. I think that's a little bit of a difference. It's like because the world outside of Russia kind of hates Russia, even its allies

don't like Russia. They're like, oh, they killed Russians. That's kind of the vibe that, like, the West gives him. He killed Russians. Well, that's tricky, though, because he did, he killed Ukrainians that were Russians at the time also. Yeah. And so at that point, Ukrainians are, if you ask the average,

if you ask Derek. in 1940 are Ukrainians, Russians. He'd be like, what are Ukrainian? If you asked Derek in 2024 today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's up, guys? We're going to take a break really quick because I need to tell you

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All right. Okay. Oh, going back to back? This is the, this is what the SSTIR is made for. Which is crazy that these guys were doing shit at the same time. You know what I mean? Like, Stalin and Hitler, some of the most evil guys ever were, they had a pact at one point during World War II. They like made an agreement, like, yo, we're going to be chill with each other. Yeah, we're going to be friends. Have they ever met? Are they any pictures of them together?

Yeah, I feel like they must have at some point. At least behind closed doors. And I feel like at this point, A lot of us know more or less why Hitler was evil, right? Concentration camps, you know, invading the... Oh, wow, they never met or even spoke. They load each other on political grounds, but then they work together in some capacity, I guess, to form a pact during World War II.

That pact was eventually broken, obviously, and the Russians came in and, you know, basically killed him. Hitler killed himself, but, like, the Russians were... They were encroaching. Which is another thing I never realized. I was always like, oh, yeah, the Americans. those are the guys that forced Hitler to kill himself. It was the Russians that had invaded from the East.

Well, they're both coming. Yeah. Right? They're both coming. And, like, there was a race to get there because they didn't want, like, they didn't want all, like, each side didn't want all of Berlin

to be on the other person's side. Yeah. Because even though we were allies with them, we're also like, well, we're jockeying for this post-war, who's going to be the best. So we have to get to Berlin before the other guys. And they're, like, got there at the same time, basically.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm pretty sure it was like the Red Army that was on top of the bunker that eventually Hitler killed himself. That's crazy. Very, very gay. Hitler was doing all this talk and all this shit and then at the very end took the easy way out.

Gay. Real evil person. Right? I'm not giving it to you. No come up. I leave out what I perceive to be on top. Yeah. And apparently Hitler's skull is still in possession of the Soviets.

Really? That is, this is disputed. Apparently they did do some type of post-mortem analysis of the skull, and they concluded that it was the skull of like a 32-year-old woman. and then they never did investigation on it again. Yeah, and then the Soviets were like, no, look, and they painted like a little mustache.

The skull asked. Yeah, look, look again. This is clearly Hitler's. They're like, that's oil. You're like, no, no, no. That's where his mustache grew, you idiot. But some people are like, yo, do the Soviets fucking get hitty out of there

and fucking free him? This is the conspiracy. But that's neither here nor there, okay? I can see why. What would they gain from Hitler? Who knows? Maybe some military seekers, maybe some science, some tech. But we were openly taking their scientists and military people anyway. We gave all them passes. You know, in Operation Paperclip.

NASA. My dad, that's where he works. So thank you, Nazis. Thank you Nazis for my dad's job. It was called Operation Paperclip. Yeah, that was like the American sort of like pardons that they were giving two Nazi scientists, Varno von Braun, being like the most infamous. Yes. And then he came over here and started NASA. Yeah. So they met in Berlin and they were like, next to the moon. Was that like literally how that happened?

No, no, no, no. Like they so like, they, I mean, because you know how Germany was split? There was a Berlin wall. Like they were just trying to take as much territory as possible. They weren't like, now that we're there, get to the moon. But they were like, basically the moon came from like, oh, they took scientists, we took scientists. We're better. So now we have this race.

Yeah. To the moon. And then now it's like, did we even go there? But let's go through. some of the unknown facts about Hitler. Not everyone, not everyone knows. Apparently,

he had extreme gastrointestinal issues, and as a result led to perpetual flatulence. Apparently, he was ripping ass all the time. Damn. Hitler was like, according to, like,

close men around him, they were like, yeah, he was constantly just, like, just ripping ass. Like, he had,

like, terrible stomach pain. Like, his GI track was just like a, like a mess. Which, I didn't know. You're just gassing everyone.

That's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, apparently a part of the lore like no one was safe from the Hitler gas. That's funny. This one, my buddy

Zach put this in, I don't even know if this is true. Apparently he would inject himself with bull semen to increase his libido and he also thought it had like some healing effects. Ooh, tea. High tea, he used testosterone. Yeah, exactly. That kind of makes sense.

With bullsemen. I get how he could get there. Yeah, right? You kind of hear it. You're already on so much meth. Yeah. You're like, it seems like a good idea. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, he was absolutely drugged out. All the Nazis, not all of them, but a lot of them were just, like, pumping just drugs nonstop. Right. There's a book called Blitz that, like, talks about, like, the drugs that they were using in the Third Reich. They basically, like, all these tank operators were using meth when they were going in. They called it panzer chokola, literally tank chocolate.

And they were like, yeah, yeah, pop some tank chocolate, get feeling good. These, like, 18-year-old kids in tanks, just, like, driving over, fucking mowing people down in tanks. It's insane. Drugs are, like, a big part of it. apparently the Third Reich. I didn't even know this. Yeah, that makes sense. Why?

To buy it in all the way? Yeah. That makes sense. A couple other little silly facts. He was a big fan of comedies. He was not all that bad. He was a fan of the British comedic actor. He was a fan of comedies and kill Jewish people?

That seems like very... Crazy, right? Yeah. That seems very like counterproductive. He didn't know what he was doing. Yeah. Why is everything less funny now? Halfway three must have been like, oh, damn it.

Yeah. I really goofed it on this one. And then apparently, yeah, he liked Charlie Chaplin. And then when Chaplin made fun of Adolf in the film The Great Dictator, Adolf allegedly wasn't that mad. And he was kind of flattered. I was like, oh, it's like, oh, they made fun of me. I made it.

Yeah. There were 43 assassination attempts on his life. He survived all of them. That's pretty badass. That's actually kind of badass. 43. Well, dude, you know who had the most Fidel Castro? We can get to him in a second, but Fidel's like assassination record is like insane.

Everyone was trying to assassinate him. It was crazy. But yeah, some people believe that he had one testicle. Yeah, I've heard that. Yeah, that's like a lot of historians agree that he had this thing called a Crypto-Cortism. And that basically he like lost a testicle. It was like a boy. Damn.

So he was just one nothing, just walking around. Yeah, kind of would explain. The bullseon. The chip on the shoulder. The bullsemen also. And the bullsemen. I was thinking about bulls demon. Do you think that is considered vegan?

No, it came from an animal. Yeah, it can't come from an animal. But vegans can't consume animal products that come from animal suffering. Bull's semen. It's not from suffering. That's his point. It's actually the best part of a bull's life. It's like the sickest part.

Possibly, but most animals don't come, like don't have sex for pleasure. So if you're making a bull come. I guess if you like if it was fucking a cow and then you sort of got it on the pullout that it's vegan but if you're making it's probably like

a little bit uncomfortable it's like this is not what I'm about. Do you should we have you ever have you ever seen can you get a video of how they how they extract horse semen? Have you ever seen this?

Yeah it's fucking crazy. They have a flashlight. Yeah, I see it's the thing. Horse leg. You did the Dune set. I don't know. It is like, it's literally a fleshlight. They just pop it in there and then it's so much.

It's an insane amount. Oh, that starts with this lady at home. Just telling you about what she's going to do. It's to get ready with me? So today I'm going to go extract cement from a bowl. Look at that. Oh. Oh, she's getting in there.

Oh. You're telling me he's not enjoying that. Yeah, come on a song. Okay, I'll give you that. You spent my boy. trying to grip. Look at him. But here's the thing. He's not getting the grip he wants. He keeps on trying

to, he's like, why is this not working? Is that what I look like? That's crazy. Yo, it's a full bag. Look at, bro. And that cup right there is probably worth like $10 million. No. Yeah. If it's like a

pure red, like, yeah. Like a Kentucky Derby winning racehorse? Yeah. That's some expensive come. Yeah. So Hitler was getting some of that. that was apparently part of the whole thing apparently there's a theory that in an attempt to prevent the spread of syphilis and his soldiers he came up with what was considered

the first blow-up doll and that he was like hey just start banging these blow-up dolls and not each other and the other women and stuff stop the syphilis spread and there's another weird thing that despite his genocidal anti-Semitism he didn't like Jews he protected his Jewish family doctor

Edward Block who treated his mother declaring him quote a noble Jew he even said if all Jews were like him there would be no Jewish question That's so very much like

That's so racism Just to be like No the one I know it was good But the rest are bad It's like you can't make it Past the fact that like Oh maybe they're just people He just can't make it though

No the one around me is cool Everyone else sucks Yeah like what? Yeah yeah I would hope that this guy like put in a word He was like hey maybe No that guy was like Dude, don't rock the boat, don't rock the boat, don't rock the boat, don't rock the boat, don't rock the boat, don't rock the boat. That dude was like, oh, we have to survive this.

Yeah. So, obviously, a pretty evil dude, right? That's top tier. Yeah. That's top tier. I mean, that's the most, for sure. Going blow for blow back to back, Stalin is better. Stalin's more dictatory. Stalin is, bro, everything you were saying about Stalin, because this was all bad and scary. But it was some kind of like aspects. It was like, oh, it's kind of pussy. He's kind of pussy. Stalin won't know pussy. Stalin made it. He wasn't no pussy. Stalin made it. He died on his own beat. He was such a dictator. He died because of it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He didn't get killed by nobody else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, he killed himself, basically, on accident. He killed himself. He killed him up on. He was dictatoring so hard. He dictated himself.

Yeah. Yeah, whereas Hitler took the way out. Yeah, you just hear some of the shit. It's like, no, I think Stalin was more him. Yeah. So some of, some of Hitler's most evil achievements, 3.3 million Soviet prisoners of war died in German custody, making them the second largest group of victims after the Jews. Roma and Sinti people, hundreds of thousands of them died, disabled individuals.

Nazis had this thing called T4 euthanasia programs that murdered 250,000 people with disabilities, and then gay people. Thousands of gay men were arrested and sent to concentration camps. And yeah, he built these death camps. He employed mobile killing units to basically follow armies in a confrontation. territories and uh yeah it was all around pretty pretty bad guy the concentration camps were pretty like specifically evil the gulags at least had this like cover of like oh yeah we're gonna right do work whereas the concentration camps we're just like yeah we're gonna literally these are death camps people just go here and die and we die and that was the whole thing so that

that that is a little more evil i think on top of that starting the the biggest war right but in terms of like him he did start this shit yeah yeah in terms of like if we're going to if we're going to get Stalin I think what makes him a little less what makes Stalin

a little more crazy is that Stalin killed that millions of people during peacetime What do you mean peacetime? Like in terms of like

a lot of that stuff like the Haldemore and all that stuff was either in between the world wars or after the world war. You know what I mean Hitler did most of his killing

during the war which kind of gives you a cover of like well this is war and the war is crazy and this is what we do during war. Stahl was like, we're not at war and I'm fucking killing everybody. Yeah. Wow.

That is a good point. It's in terms of like, if we're trying to rank on who is more evil, there is a sort of, well, all's fair and love and war type thing you can apply to Hitler where you're like, Stalin was like, damn, bro, you were just doing this? Yeah, it was like civil war basically. Yeah. Yeah, that's an interesting point. Which apparently the Germans, this is how fucking crazy they are.

Vladimir Lenin, the guy that was basically the starter of the Bolsheviks that was like kicking off all that stuff, the thing that Stalin eventually took over. He was not even in Russia when all that stuff was kicking off. He was basically like a political exile. So he left Russia and I think he was in like Scandinavia. Wasn't he Austria? Wasn't it weren't him and Hitler in the same place? I don't know. They might have been. But the Germans escorted him and gave him free cover to go into Russia to then cause civil war in Russia. Yeah. So the Germans were like, hey, this whole Russia thing

has really causing us a lot of issues on that eastern front. So let's put one of their political dissidents back in power in Russia and then cause a massive civil war that then they'll just take care of themselves. Yeah, and they'll be out of World War I. Yeah. Crazy. The Germans were very, very savvy evil people. Also, the whole Aryan thing is always very funny to me. Yeah, because he doesn't fit the description of what an Aryan looks like. Like, the classic, like, blonde hair, blue eyes, like, he believes that he's like, oh, I'm of Aryan blood, you know what I mean? Right. But he's like, I'm not full, I'm not full Aaron. The Aryan thing is just so silly because they're like, all right, blonde hair, blue eyes,

that's Aaron. And then the Japanese. companies were like, can we be Aryan? And they were like, yeah, you're basically Aryan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They group them in for no, like, they're like, oh, they're like, they're Aryan adjacent. Like, they're more Aryan than other people. And then the Russians were like, hey, we're all super tall, blonde hair, blue eyes. And then Hitler was like, you're not Aaron. Made no sense. It was insane. But yeah, so that's Hitler. So where do we put him? We put him right below Stalin? I think we put him below Stalin. With Vlad? Above Vlad. Like, I think like. So they're moving Vlad down to base. No, you can have You can be still No, I think Hitler and Stalin

are both ultimate based Okay And Vlad is mega based But this is Out of context Don't get caught up with the base thing I'm gonna change this When we actually

I'm here I'm here now I'm the base Is the most evil And then we'll go down the list Yes Yeah But use the word base

Okay Well I'm looking at base dog I don't know to tell you But like in that ranking I would put in that In that like ultimate base ranking in front of Hitler.

Okay, cool. Yeah, I think that's reasonable. I think that's reasonable. And now Mao Zedong. He killed the most, I believe. I've heard of this name. So who is this guy, Mao Zedon? What do you think he's from?

I'm going to guess Asia, right? Okay. That's broad. Can you go a little more specific? China? Yeah, that's great. Hell yeah, dude. I was like, what sounds like some Panda Express?

Yeah, yeah. Delicious from Panda Express. He was the founding father of the People's Republic of China and the chairman of the Chinese Communist Party presided over the one of the most tumultuous and deadly periods in modern history. His policies often driven by revolutionary appeal resulted in catastrophic human suffering. Hey, real quick, Val right now is trying to spell Mao Zedong, so I think it's very important that we all stop and watch her try to do this. Who is this rapper, bro? Now I'm locked in. Sorry, you're going.

And I had to stop you because I know we would all like that. Yeah, that's unreal. Oh, it's a Mao. Yeah, that guy. Damn, bro. This nigga look evil. Some George Costanza looking Asian, bro. Don't play with this man.

Yeah, never shaved his head. Like at a certain point, you've got to be like, all right, buddy. Well, let's not knock him for that. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. There's a lot of things we said about that tape at your head. It's a look. It's a look. I didn't realize how.

I know. You said it, and I'm like, oh, my God. That's crazy. Yeah, I don't think the hair is what we just need to talk about with him now. That is not the worst thing you did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is fair. It's the best thing he did.

Yeah. He launches the Great Leap Forward, an ambitious campaign to industrialize China and collectivized agriculture. Farmers were forced into communes in order to abandon traditional farming methods in favor of producing steel and backyard furnaces. The result was economic disaster, unusable steel production combined with agricultural collapse. During the time, Mao's regime embraced pseudoscientific agricultural theories, which led to planting crops too densely and other unproductive practices. local officials also lied about how much grain was harvested to meet high targets. As a result, too much grain was taken to export and millions of people at home starved. Some people place the death toll from the family between 30 to 45 million people from

from 1958 to 1962. Yeah, I've heard something like something around that. I think that in the middle and the second row is a graph of how many people killed, but I think I've heard something around like 50 million total for now. It's insane. Villagers resorted to eating tree bark, leather, and in some cases, other humans. And when informed about the famine, Mao of reportedly dismissed concerns with the statement like, it is better to let half the people die so that the other half can eat their fill.

Pretty wild. That's pretty hard. That's pretty hard, quote. So he does this whole thing. 50 million people die. And he goes, all right, let's just keep it going. And then they start the cultural revolution. And this happens in 1966 to reassert his authority and purge political rivals.

He mobilized millions of young, quote, red guards to attack old ideas. old culture, old habits, old customs, resulting in widespread chaos. This creates violence where the red guards were mobilized to attack rites and reactionaries leading to public beatings, torture, and executions. Apparently, they, like, executed 1.5 to 2 million people. He oversaw the destruction of the four olds, this campaign that basically took, got rid of all the old traditional Chinese customs and artifacts, and got rid of a bunch of intellectuals, people that were like teachers, scholars.

they were killed during public events called struggle sessions and many were beaten or driven to suicide. And then the Korean War he sent over 2 million Chinese soldiers and to create a fight against the U.S. and South Korea.

The Chinese troops suffered immense casualties. 180,000 were killed in the battle. Among those was Mao's own son during an airstrike. Damn, they just send their sons to die. It's crazy. Yeah, crazy. He also had some weird personal habits.

He wasn't big on brushing his teeth. Didn't believe in it. You're just like, no, not going to do that. He believed that he could just swish tea around, and it was just as good. He also didn't really believe in baths. He, like, didn't bathe, really. He also refused to treat STDs because he thought that STD's boosted virility. And that from his personal doctor who put all this stuff in a book,

he, like, released all of Mao's, like, personal hygiene stuff. So, like, he was, like, STD-ridden, not brushing his teeth, none of that. Just a bro. Just a frat guy. Just a frat, bro. A little bit, right? You kind of hear that. I'm like, that's kind of what I'm doing.

I'm not that far off. Yeah, he created this system, the lao gay system, which basically translates to reform through labor. And millions of Chinese citizens, basically anyone who raised an eyebrow, the Communist Party, found themselves in these camps where the daily schedule was basically just labor, starvation, torture, and 10 to 20 million people went through the system. And many, if not most, died during this, like, force. to labor system that he had implemented. So that's like strike three for communism. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It just can't be done. Yeah. So a pretty evil guy, I think you could say. Based off of that, where are we going to put him, you think? Man, you know what's crazy? I know, I know he killed like 50 million people in Starved his own country, but I'm like, damn, bro, he was giving hos CDs. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He had addicted. He's still fucking.

Oh, apparently he was, like, even as his health was deteriorating, he was, like, an absolute dog. Like, he, he decided the only way to get his youthful spirit and rigor back was to have sex with many women. He had a special bed created for doing, like, rampant, dirty sex. And it was raised on one side four inches higher than the other. No one really knows why it was raised on one side.

But they put the extra four inches on one side that he still could, like, have these sex parties in his bed. Crazy. And if he's doing it for youth, he's definitely, like, fucking. kids and shit. Oh, gotta be. For sure. He had all these mistresses. One that he loved was Zhang, Yu Fang. When they met, he was in his late 60s and she was 16 years old. Okay, yeah. So. And Mao made her his confidential secretary in 1973. And that means that every time Mao's wife wanted to talk to her husband, she had to talk to Zhang Yu Fang first.

His mistress first? What a fucking, that's gangster. Crazy. If my wife wants to talk to me, she can talk to my mistress. Yeah. Also, the shit. The shit Zang would do in that bedroom. Dude. The shit Zang was doing, for him to be like, yo, give her a job. Yeah. Give her a job. Get her close.

Yeah. She was doing some stuff, boy. Yeah. He's getting whatever he wants, wild sex stuff. Yeah. Any weird fantasy he wants. She, bro, she was doing some shit. Yeah.

Yeah. No, she was an all-time. She was an all-time piece. Monica Lewinsky times a million. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Madonna times a million.

Because Lewinsky didn't even get like a position. No. She got ridiculed for it. Crazy. Yeah, which is great. Whereas Marilyn Monroe gets like celebrated for that shit. Yeah. That's a good point.

Yeah. And arguably, Lewinsky did more good. Wait, why? For every second she was on her knees, there was a kid on an island who was safe. Oh, that's a great point. You know what I mean?

Every second she was serving the president, there was a 14 year old, like, thank you. She was taking a bullet, dude. She was taking a bullet and got rid of it for it. Wow. That's crazy. If she positioned it that way, oh, you're a hero. Yeah, she's a hero.

You didn't stop sex driver, but you slowed it down. You know what I mean? You did more than me? You jammed it up. I've never sucked Clinton's dick. You can't save a child life. Yeah, yeah.

Which also, you hear about how, like, charming Clinton was. It's like everyone would. I can't believe there's only one woman that, like. It was definitely way more. Yeah, she just got caught. That's crazy. Yeah, she kept the dress, which was kind of stupid. That's how much you love him.

Yeah, well, I guess if the president comes on your dress, you'd be like, well, I got to, what am I have to wash this? Yeah, I could sell this for millions of dollars. The champion racehorse. Did she sell it or should keep it? I bet you they took it in as evidence, right? He went to trial for this, right?

Yeah. So it's just in a fucking... It's just... Evidence box? They made her try it on in the courtroom. They said if the dress fits. That was like a big part of the whole thing. Yeah, if the dress fits, you must spit.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, that's basically... That's basically Mao. He wanted agricultural workers to contribute to this industry And like basically took over all everything made it all nationalized and as a result Millions of people died steel was like the big thing that he was like going for is like yeah we're gonna make Chinese steel the best and then it wasn't even that good a lot of steel like got rusted didn't even work properly

Yeah because well the the the farms and stuff he tried to retrofit for steel like weren't they couldn't make steel in them like he had no concept of like you need stuff Yeah You're just like well just make steel and you just say make it happen yeah yeah And do it like this. And I'm being like, all right, I guess we have to do it like that. And people just died. Yeah. Damn.

Yeah. Yeah. God, these niggas suck. It's crazy, right? It sucks. This is in the 60s. Like, think of it. Like, Led Zeppelin was out.

The Beatles were making music. Yeah. Our parents were alive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy.

That is crazy how recent this was. Mm-hmm. The 60s? Yeah. Yeah. Crazy shit. So where do we... Wizard of Oz is an old movie at that point.

Yeah, yeah. He was like, oh, this is black and white. I don't know watching this. The fuck. The idea that Mao didn't make it to the color parts of it was... He was very impatient. He had all these people to kill. He did all this stuff.

And yeah, he basically died in 76 after a series of heart attacks. He made it. Yeah. He made it. The fact that he made it is crazy. Nobody touched him. Nobody touched him. Yeah.

So where do we put him? I think he killed the most technically. He did kill the most and that's got to count for something. By double. By double. I'm putting him with Vlad. You're putting him with Vlad. So you don't think he's above Stalin and Hitler.

And why is that? Just because something's more doesn't mean it's better. You know what I'm saying? Because something's more doesn't mean it's better. The art in which Hitler and Stalin did what they did. For the people that don't know. That's impressive. We had probably a two-hour argument yesterday at Mitzis about whether or not

more is better. More is better. And now I feel like we've come full circle. Yeah. Yeah, because in this situation, I'm like, damn, that's what they was talking about last night. That's what they're talking about. That would all make sense. No, it all makes sense.

No, because the artistry in which Stalin and Hitler did it, I got to get some credit. Yeah, I think... We just talked about how Mao did it, and I kind of forgot already. Yeah, I think... I get you what you mean. I think Hitler and Stalin sort of get the benefit of having it during World War II, which is like this crazy sort of thing. You know, sometimes it's all about timing, and Mao doesn't have the best timing.

Yeah. You know, 50s China. Like we don't even America Like we don't even start really diplomatic relationships with them Until probably Mao's kind of towards the end of this anyways Yeah So and we're coming at it from a U.S. point of view So I like that

So right now our rankings are Stalin up top Hitler 2 Mow 3 Vlad 4 Yes we're going on that ranking yeah yeah If we're gonna just rank him in order like that That's how I'd put him Just because you do have to give 50 million people You do have to give that I'm a lot of you

I'm putting Vlad over him Really I'm impressed bro with the the vampire stuff. That's so fun that March is my own point. Yeah. The dipped in the blood

with the vampire and then that's where vampires are going to run. I'm going to put that over a mouth. I just think 50 million is too hard to ignore. The fact that nothing's that close is crazy.

Nothing's that close. He's like, that's like double, that's like LeBron shit or like Wayne Gretzky shit. You're like so far ahead of the next person, Michael Phelps shit.

That's like, that has to count for something. It does. But I'm not putting it over. I want to add to that if you want to talk about six, success, China still has these labor camps.

They haven't gone away, whereas in Germany, and, well, I don't know about Russia, but, you know, Hitler's labor camps are not around. Yeah, sure. There is a sort of, like, I will say this, the government that Mao created, like, that's still sort of. That's the emperor, right? No. Don't they have emperors in China? No.

No, Gigi Ping is, like, technically. The chairman or whatever. The chairman. Yeah. I don't know if they're doing elections and shit like that. Yeah, they're not. It's like still. Big leadership.

Yeah, I think it's still more, yeah, they don't do emperors. I think that's still more, like Mao's China is still more China than Stalin's Russia's Russia and, well, Stalin, Soviet Union doesn't exist anymore. And Hitler's Germany is not Germany now. That's a good point.

Like Mao's still shit, Mao's shit is still kind of going. The other two aren't going at all. I wonder if he's respected there. If you ask like a random Chinese citizen, like, yeah, what do you think of Chairman Mao? If they'd be like, oh, yeah, he's cool. You know what I mean?

I wonder if they still have, like, reverence. Well, I will say this. I went, my friend went to China in high school, and she brought me back a chairman Mao thing. So they sell it as merch. All right, he's up. He got merch. He got merch.

He moved merch. Yeah, I just think he's, I can. I'll give him three. Yeah, I say he's above lad. Wow. Now, what about Pol Pot? Now, I've heard this name, too. 1975 to 1979.

Cambodia. Not China? No. Nearby, not far. Stone's throw. That might be helpful. Could we get a map of where Cambodia is? But basically, he killed two million Cambodians

through starvation, forced labor, and executions. For the record, it's not the most. That is 25% of the population. Damn. One out of four? Per capita's crazy. That is the, technically speaking, in terms of percentage, the deadliest dictator ever.

One out of four. is crazy dog crazy that's a lot one of us in the room in this room one of us well well the the test would be spell paul pot and then it would be over yeah so you got china up there in the north

so small it is very small he was wiping out everybody in his own place yep that's pretty like think about it to be from a small area and be well known is pretty impressive he's like it's like Steph Curry at Davidson it's like damn bro he put Davidson I'm mad, that's nuts. Like, who really, Cambodia was not popping before him.

That's the only thing I know about Cambodia is Paul Pot. That's crazy, yeah, that is a good point. What the fuck else do you know about Cambodia? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So this guy was a former teacher who studied radio electronics in Paris. Popat? He was born.

Yeah, he was in Paris a lot. That's where he learned. Soloth Saar was his original name. He was rich. I think Paul Pot came from a rich family. Oh, really? If you're studying in Paris and you're from Cambridge, Yeah, I guess you got something on.

Yeah, I got something going. And he returns back to Cambodia to create year zero. Time has started. That's, dude, this guy's crazy. When he shows up, he goes, this is when time starts. That is a level of like ego narcissism. You know what I mean? You might think you know narcissists.

And then this guy goes, hey, time, not real. He just shows up and goes, it's zero now. It's starting now. That's great. It's socialist utopia so pure that it requires erasing cities, money, religion, family ties, and roughly two million human lives. April 17, 1975, the Kimir Rouge forces capture Cambodia's capital. Within hours, they begin the most radical forced migration of modern history.

Pol Pot ordered the immediate evacuation of Phompen. Can I say I pronounce that? Fompen. That's the capital of Cambodia, a city of approximately two million people. Hospital patients still attached to IVs were forced to march. Women who just gave birth were carrying their babies through the streets. elderly disabled people that couldn't walk were left to die, and the entire population was told to evacuate, and it would just last three days due to an imminent American bombing. In reality,

he considered urban dwellers contaminated by foreign influence and unfit for his agrarian utopia. Most evacuees would never return home, and these evacuations went through basically every Cambodian city and town within days. So while he's doing these marches, temperatures are above 100 degrees Fahrenheit, no food or water, those who had colloquy. lapsed from exhaustion were shot, and children that were separate from parents were then abandoned, and thousands died along the way leaving roads filled with bodies. His utopia was basically dismantling everything, so that includes money. The national banks were blown up, so currency is worthless. Private property doesn't exist. Everything's confiscated. Religion isn't real. All the monks and temples

were then converted to prisons. The monks were then killed. The families weren't safe. If there were children that were separated, they became like servants of the state or they were executed. And, uh, names were no longer a thing. People were just addressed as like comrade. And, uh, yeah, in 1975, history reset. So the entire population was for- 75? Yeah.

1975. The NBA is happening. Oh, yeah. Yeah, black people were playing. Like, yeah. Karim won his first championship already. And people are now marching through the streets and time has restarted. Yeah.

He, didn't he kill everyone with glasses? Oh, I don't know. look that up? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. With glasses? Yeah, yeah, yeah, because he didn't like the intelligence. This one is crazy, y'all. It's also the biggest projection of all time, this French-educated Cambodian being like, there's foreign influence

here. I don't know where. I can feel it. Everywhere I go, there's some four French influence. I don't know why. Steemly close to me. I don't know what it is. He had a French accent the whole time. I feel like there's a Agrarpine in the midst But yeah, he

Basically had the entire population Forced in these collectors They worked 12 to 16 hours a day Minimal food And no agricultural training He expected a triple yield rice harvest To demonstrate the revolutionary success And when the farms inevitably failed

People reported fictitious bumper crops And again, just like what happened with Mao Zedong People then starve to death Damn crazy It turned into this vast prison farm system where people that spoke too loudly showed emotion or failed to meet impossible work quotas meant death. Picking wild berries or catching fish without permission was considered private enterprise and was punishable by execution. And this is exactly to Assan's point. The policy was crazy

because he would kill people wearing glasses. There was a war on knowledge. Despite his own education in France, he developed history's most extreme anti-intellectual campaign. The Kimmer Rouge slogan said, to keep you is no gain, to kill you is no loss. The definition of intellectual expanded to absurd extremes. Wearing glasses marked you for execution because they indicated literacy. Speaking foreign languages was evidence of capitalist contamination. Soft hands meant that you weren't a proper peasant, and former teachers, doctors, lawyers, and students were systematically executed.

Even knowing how to read in any capacity would be a cause for death. Which I feel like it'd be pretty easy to not know how to read. Oh, once you know how to read, it's hard to fake not know how to read. Because you can't, like, you immediately, try to not read. All right. All right. Damn, he's good. He might not be able to read.

Right? It's like you have to be on your P's and Q's all the time about now. What are those? Damn. No, if you're locked in, I can't read it. Now, I get what you're saying. You have to be locked in all times. You just locked in, you can do it.

Like, to the point where you're coming up on a stop sign and you have to like, oh, I can't stop. Ever. That's a Chris Rock joke. Is it? Is it? Is it? It's a classic Chris. joke. Wait, what is it? Chris Rock bit on

Never Scared. Talks about how hard it would be in a slave because you have to pretend not to read. And you're riding on the buggy, riding on the buggy. And then you see a stop sign. You know, and that's the bit. I've never heard that. Great joke. That's brilliant joke. Yeah. I figured Chris Rock. We just stumbled into it. He's so good. Oh, my God. Too late. Yeah, yeah. Fuck. So good. But, yeah, he was just killing all the intellectuals. One survivor recalled the Camer Rouge guards testing suspected intellectuals by asking them to repair a broken moped. Those who succeeded,

revealed mechanical knowledge, evidence of education, and they were killed. When the Khmer Rouge captured the capital city, they killed all the doctors. And yeah, they even went on to like kill them with their own medical instruments. Jeez. Crazy. They just grabbed them whatever was around.

And then the craziest part is the killing fields. So these killing fields were basically like just these giant like broad fields where they didn't have the high-tech execution that all these other places had, like, you know, Hitler and all this shit. So they would just go out and they would just murder people and with like farm tools to save bullets. They didn't want to waste the bullets. And so just like axes and all that shit. And yeah, they like just had these mass graves. They would use like chemical substances to like sprinkle

over the bodies to like stop them from, you know, like smelling and shit. And yeah, it was like one of the most brutal regimes to ever exist. He was also super paranoid. That's the one thing with all these dictators, they're all so paranoid. They know, because your subconscious know this is bad. I think once you're at the top of anything sort of like, yeah, crazy like that, you get paranoid. There's no way. The amount of

shitty things you had to do to get there is like, it eats on you. It must, right? Even smaller. You ever watch the Sopranos? Oh, well, it's sort of like you get to see Tony's sort of descent into paranoia and what it's like being at the top of something violent. Yeah.

Mm. When you watch any of those gangster movies Where the guys on top He dies with always the same He gets crazy paranoid at the end Yeah They get crazy paranoid Because you just know

You feel it like man I know I'm not supposed to be doing this shit And you're like There's a guy There's always a guy next up There's a guy who's trying to get to where I'm getting And I know what I did to get to where I'm getting It's coming

So it's coming Yeah You're just freaking out Yeah these guys These guys are pretty pretty So where do we put him Pretty bad guys Are we done with all his

credentials? Have we said all his stats? Yeah, basically. I mean, he killed, you know, 21 to 26% of Cambodia's entire population. It wasn't a specific ethnic group. It was just a spree on his own... Wim, sort of. His own people, basically.

And how did he die again? He never faced justice. Vietnamese forces ousted the Camerooges in 79, and he lived freely for nearly two decades dying under house arrest in 1998. Damn. His final words in a night... He died when we were alive. His final words in a 1997 interview,

My Conscience is Clear. I thought you're going to say his final words, the 1997 interview were, Go Bulls. That's crazy. He was watching the NBA. Yeah, he saw Jordan. He heard about him.

He was like, yo, there's a guy. Well, he died in 98? Yeah. He saw five of the six at least, maybe six of the six. That's what I'm saying. You know who Joe, he's like, I know who Michael Jordan is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn.

He's killing it on the court. Yeah. The killing courts. So where we put him? So right now our rankings, we went Stalin, Hitler. Well, it's just, is he ultimate based? Because I think he's ultimate based. Yeah, probably, right?

I think he's the most evil. That is the most evil, bro. This niggas sucked. Yeah. Yeah. This is where it's wild. Here's like little, like, personal things. One foreign diplomat described meeting him and said it was like talking to a polite school

teacher that apparently he was like very like, you know, calm and sort of, uh, unassuming. He's scarier. Yeah. And he wasn't like. this bombastic dictator with all these crazy speeches. He rarely appeared in public and gave very few speeches. He preferred anonymity and was known to many Cambodians as brother number one.

Damn. Yeah. Damn. All right. So he's in the ultimate base. So he's in the tier with Hitler, Stalin. I agree. Do you think he's below Hitler and Stalin?

I'm putting him three. You putting him three? I'm putting him three. Yeah, I think I'll go with that. I'll go with that. Above Mao. Above Mao. So, Mao now goes to four, Vlad goes to five.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. Where do we go from here? Do you guys have one that you're like, oh, we got to get to this guy? I'm learning right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I kind of want to see who you pick.

All right. Next to throw to us. All right. We didn't need a silly guy. We haven't done a silly bill yet. It's been a while. I don't say Vlad is the silliest. Yeah, by far.

Yeah. And that's because it happened in the 1300s. If Vlad happened in 1942, we probably wouldn't feel as silly. Mao was a little silly, though. He looks cute. Man, he looks... He was funny. He's silly because of his hygiene and his hairline.

Yeah. Sorry, he's cool because of his hairline, but he's silly. He's cool and probably getting all that pussy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All I heard is that he fucks a lot? That makes sense. Okay, we can go to this guy. Sapermerat Nyazov.

It's so crazy because, like... Eastern European? He's a former president of Turkmenistan. Okay. Turkmenistan. Yeah, and relatively recent. His term was 1992 to 2006. Whoa.

2000? Yeah. Nick, I just got the high school 2006. Yeah. Yeah, he was, so this is the other thing is like, I feel like most political leaders from around the world were dictators. That's the thing I'm realizing. Like, you just go through, like, most countries throughout history. It was just autocratic.

It was just an autocracy, some evil guy being like, hey, some people got to die. Yeah. Like, the idea that not everyone dies in America all the time is pretty sick. How do we do that? How are we number one? How do we do this? How are we number one? I'm not doing what they doing.

I don't know. Democracy. Michael Jackson probably helps. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure helped. Some sort of cultural. We like, I think this is the first one that like, we're the first ones that like controlled the culture of like most of the actual

physical world. Yeah. Like even like the big cultural powerhouses like Romans and shit. Yeah. People in Africa didn't know them probably. Everybody love Michael Jackson. Everyone knows Michael Jackson. Yeah, yeah.

We have this sort of cultural dominance that will kind of lose. And it don't matter if you're black or white. I think that one music video saved America. Like just seeing all those people like transform into each other, we're like, oh, yeah, it's fine, you know, we're good guys. But this guy, he was the dictator of Turkmenistan? Of Turkmenistan, yeah. And he had this reign, which is called the Runama.

And this was like basically the ideology. This was the book of the soul. and it was his rambling spiritual guidebook that became Turkmenistan's sacred text. So everyone had to read it. We created like a Bible. That's pretty interesting. Basically.

And it was mandatory reading in schools and it was required for driver's license test, university admissions, and job applications. This guy claimed that by reading it three times, you were guaranteed entry into heaven. It translated into 41 languages. It was given equal status to the Quran and Moss. Damn.

Can we pull up a picture of the guy? So he had this book and this book was basically like, this is our biologist. now. Everyone's reading it. In 2006, he installed a massive mechanical Renama monument in Ashgobat in the capital that automatically opens each evening while playing recorded passages and citizens were required to swear oaths on the book and pledge allegiance, including rubbing it against one's forehead three times. He was pretty wild. He renamed every month and every day of the week.

He specifically named April after his mother, renamed the word for bread and adolescence after his mother and redefined ages of human development with adolescents lasting until 25 and old age beginning at 85. His craziness went beyond the calendars and the ancient text. He loved, he was basically almost like a hippie. He created this prominent design of the neutrality arch, which was a massive structure with a 39-foot golden statue of him, which rotated to always face the sun. His portrait was everywhere, plastered on public building, classrooms, offices, newspapers, vodka bottles and even carpets. He renamed cities and airports

and even a meteorite after him and his family members. This guy's a little bit funny. His personal preferences became national policy through strange proclamations. He himself had gold teeth, but he banned them, claiming that they were unhealthy and advising citizens to chew on bones

instead of strengthening their teeth. If you have long hair and a beard, he banned that. Video games, no video games were allowed. Damn. And he said that they were too violent for young Turkmans. He outlawed the opera, ballet, circuses, and even recorded music. Car radios, lip syncing, and public smoking were also prohibited.

This just sounds like Disney World. Yeah, that's crazy. It's like no chewing gum. Wait, Val, can you click on the statue? It's the other one to the left here. This is the statue was talking about. Yeah. And it is like rotated and always was...

That's a pretty fire statue. This is basically... Didn't Trump just pose this on Instagram? You did? The Gaza thing where he... which is a golden statue of him. Oh, yeah, it's kind of based on that. And you're like, whoa, all right,

we got to look into the history of this a little bit. He shut down all the hospitals outside the capital, replacing them with a single family in Ashgabat, where doctors were allegedly required to swear an oath to him instead of the Hippocratic oath. He fired 15,000 healthcare workers replacing them with military conscripts. Despite presiding over the country

that's primarily desert with severe water shortages, he did initiate environmental protections. He built enormous ice palaces in one of the world's hottest deserts, created an artificial lake in the Karakum Desert, and constructed the largest fountain complex in the entire country. Banned foreign newspaper, no reading.

And, yeah, basically is upended the entire education system and then died of sudden heart failure in 2006. These guys make it, mostly. The goal was the only one that didn't make it. Yeah. Like, if you don't start a war and you just fuck with your own people, No one cares.

No one really cares. Yeah. And you don't have oil that we can take? Yeah. The golden statue that rotated to face the sun was removed in 2010, and Turkmenistan remains one of the world's most isolated and repressive states. So whoever took over just basically kind of was just like, all right, this guy had a good little sister. He's building his own statue right now.

Probably. I don't know if he killed that many people. I don't think there was a lot. No video games is crazy. Yeah. Almost worse. That one's kind of wild, bro. Because you got to live through.

Nick, it's 2004. I can't play video games, though. Yeah. Nothing. Right. Golden Eye. Yeah, 2004 is games out. You don't get Xbox Live.

Yeah. He's like, shit is popping now. Yeah. That's all, I'm like, damn, bro. Yeah. That's fucked. So where are we putting this guy? I mean, he's...

He's very silly. Can I see the tier base again, please? Yeah. Can we carry a silly tier? Yeah. Cillet based silly? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna say this guy is Soso.

Yeah. He's like... He's almost cringe. He's almost. cringe but it's so silly that it's a little bit like you not only named the month of april after your mom but you named adolescence and one more thing after your mom it's kind of like that dictator the dictator movie where everything is solidine uh-huh yeah yeah it's like that's very silly i'm gonna go i'm gonna go so-so but i mean he's he is on the line of cringe he is on the line

of cringe yeah he's on the line of cringe for sure all right you want to do this is another kind of fun this is like a little quick silly one again there's a lot on this guy But Gaddafi. I know that name. Gaddafi was a wild dude. He was a revolutionary in Libya, and he ruled from 1969 until his assassination in 2011. Eleven? Yeah.

Successionation was very famous. He came to power through this military coup and became the first revolutionary chairman of the Libyan-era Republic. He looks like Bruno Mars? Yeah. What? Yeah. He was a wild dude. He was insane.

There's like a ton of stuff on his personal political life, but just some highlights. He had 15 female bodyguards who were all trained in weaponry, had to wear makeup and high heels and were all reportedly virgins. The virgin guard, that's the most famous thing about him, I think. He walked around with bad bitches as his personal, like, security outfit. Oh, virgins?

Allegedly. Allegedly virgins. Why virgins? I don't know. The virgin thing is kind of fun. It's just like, he wants purity, I guess. I don't know. Is he Muslim?

It's also Muslims have a weird thing with virgins. Oh, that's a good point. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He had all these women and that was like what he was known for. He was like walking around with like all these girls. Additionally, he washed his hands in deer blood, which he thought had health benefits and was very into male beauty and plastic surgery and even got his own like personal surgeries in 1994. Damn.

Yo. He once gave a two hour long speech to the United States. nations during which he expressed support for Somali pirates, claimed that Israel was responsible for JFK's assassination, and referred to Barack Obama as my son. Very Algerian Alex Jones, like. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he apparently had like sexual advances toward female reporters and members of his entourage.

Yeah, they called him the Amazonian guard, his female, like, protection. and they would walk around with guns and just like just cool it with him. Apparently there was a book by his French journalist that was published that he had sexual relations with women, some in their early teenage years that had been selected for him so he had like a harem. And he loved like gaudy, ostentatious like garb

so he'd wear like rings and jewelry. He looks like the dude from the jungle book. Like the lion. Or Cher Khan? Yeah. Begart? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah.

Now he looks like a Disney villain. He does. He does. He's dressed crazy. In terms of because I brought my dad up earlier, my dad actually lived in Libya when Gaddafi was there. Really? No way.

But to get to America, he had to have an engineering job in Libya. How long was he there for? A couple years. I would say, I think, like, right after college, so probably like 22 to 25 in that zone. During the Gaddafi's reign. During Gaddafi's rain, yeah. Whoa.

What do you say about that? He said it was a very racist place. It's probably one of the most racist place he's ever lived. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, he'd be, like, you got called Paki all the time. Like, the locals would, like, throw rocks at them. Really?

Yeah, they're, yeah. There are minorities in an autocratic place, so they're not exactly. Most autocracies don't like immigrants. That's crazy. And you're only there to be an engineer for them. Wow. Yeah, because a lot of autocracies have a brain drain, too, right? Like, like Cambodia killing all the smart people.

They do that a lot. Yeah. That's part of the plan. brain dream. That's what's called. They all got to get out. Yeah. They all got to get out. If everyone's smart, you can't control them. Yeah. So it's not sure how many people Gaddafi killed. Like he had a couple of bad, bad moments here. Uh, 1,200 prisoners were executed in the Abu Salam prison massacre in 1996. Um, he apparently ordered assassinations of exile dissidents worldwide. Uh, and then during the uprising in 2011 during the Libyan Civil War, uh, his forces killed thousands,

The United Nations estimate 10 to 25,000. And yeah, so overall, probably, you know, maybe close to 20 to 50,000 people were killed under his regime during exiles. So what do we think? Where do we put old Gaddafi? He's not, he's above the last dude we just did. I think what's above Soso, mid. Is that what's above Soso?

Yeah. Yeah, I would say he's mid. I would say he's mid. No, above Soso's just base. I'd say he's based. Base. The Virgin Guard's pretty base. That's what I'm saying.

The Virgin Guard was dope. And if he's like, and you know what else is cool? If he's not having sex with those virgins, I know you said alleged it. But if he's not doing it and they truly are his Virgin Guard, that's some dope-ass shit, bro. It's just cool. It's just like, damn, right? Because if you're one of those girls, you're like, it's a great gig. I know I'm protecting this guy and all that, but like, man, no one.

No one gets to just fuck me. Thank God. And forced to wear high heels. That is the craziest part to me. It's like part of their military uniform. Is high heels. Stilettos. Aesthetically pleasing.

Yeah. I mean, it's crazy. very confident about his height. And to call... Yeah. Yeah, you're right. And to call the U.S. president his son.

He was talking shit. That's pretty crazy. That's pretty like, I don't know, anyone who's had the balls to do that. Yeah. That's pretty ballsy. So I think, yeah. I think he's based.

Okay. Based. He's based. Makes me feel like the other guy's a little more cringe than I thought... He was on the line for me, bro. He might have been cringe, bro. No video games?

Get the fuck out of him. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Because, I mean, this guy is also very gouty and showy. Yeah. But he's kind of cool about it. He wears shades. Yeah, he wears shades.

All right. We got another one. Okay. We're going to Africa. Let's go. Black dictator. Finally. This guy, Ediamine, became the third president of Uganda in 71 until his overthrow in

1979, and he ruled as a military dictator and considered one of the most brutal despots in modern history. So this guy basically takes over Uganda. Just a couple things about him, all right? These are more like personal fun facts. Former heavyweight boxing champion. Whoa. That's already scary.

That's very scary. He chose four white males and forced them to carry him around in a large throne-like chair during their 1975 meetings. Damn. Kind of like him. He's kind of our stage.

Yeah. That's kind of pretty cool. You did that to white guys? He gave himself the title of His Excellency, President for Life, field marshal, Al-Hodge, Dr.

Edie, Amin, Dada, VC, D.S.O. M.C. Lord. of all the beasts of the earth and fishes of the sea and conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in general and Uganda in particular.

That was his title. That's a little lame. It kept going. A little corny. It truly kept going. Yeah. It would have been cool if it was like the ruler of the beasts of the land. That'd be cool. That's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bruce Bover can announce this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like...

It's like... Yeah, it's insane. He married... A lot of white guys carrying him. Yeah. For white, this is a regular-looking white guys, too. Yeah, those are standard issue. That's just like a run-of-the-mill white. And they're carrying around. He's not even, I don't even feel like he's that dressed up.

No. He's learned Tommy Baham or something. He's delensking in it right now. He's known to have married at least six women throughout his life, one of whom was found dead. And after falling pregnant to another man, he murdered her. He's also thought to have fathered as many as 43 children. One of the most crazy things that he did is that he banned all Asians

and South Asians from Uganda. Damn. Because the daughter of an important Asian family refused to marry him. Damn. So an Indian girl. Damn. That's so funny that an Indian girl said no

when in India they're not married. They don't care about that. She had to go to Uganda to find someone who took her seriously. Damn. That's crazy. What's also wild is that in that time, basically we had all of these like Indian,

Pakistani, like South Asian business people that were like not running Uganda but like they had all the businesses and like industry. It's like they like owned like the stores and they had like all the commerce like they were running shit and then overnight he basically was like hey you have 24 hours to get out of here and all

of them had to flee and then basically after they all left the country went to shit because they were like we don't know how to run the shit like we had all these Indians in here like running our thing. He claimed to have conquered the British Empire and reportedly sent many love letters to Queen Elizabeth of England. He even asked her to marry him and make him the king of Scotland.

You think if anything didn't go his way he ever went, you've got to be kidding me. He'd forgiven it that. Probably. Good. I think probably a couple times. There's got to be people who do that there. If they don't, it's a very humorless place.

And then basically, if no one's done that there, I don't want to go there. I wonder how many people he actually killed straight up. I wonder if there was like the most evil stuff that he did. Yeah, I want to know that too. Like, what was the most brutal shit this guy was doing? So he was responsible of the deaths of an estimated 100,000 to 500,000 people, although the exact number is difficult to determine due to the chaotic nature of the regime. He targeted political opponents, soldiers, intellectuals, and professionals. The International Commission that investigated estimated estimated 80,000 to 300,000 were killed.

A bunch of other ethnic groups were killed, 100,000, they believe, from specific ethnic persecution, the Asian expulsion of South Asians targeting and seizing their property, although not directly killed. caused a ton of economic ruin. A bunch of massacres, 2,000 people in different cities were killed and just random massacres and the bodies were dumped in the Nile River, sometimes washing up in neighboring countries. Damn. And, yeah, he fled to Saudi Arabia in 1979 and lived in exile until his death in 2003, never facing justice for his crimes.

Crair. Damn. He was in Saudi Arabia and then apparently died of kidney failure. Yeah, dude. Pretty wild. Apparently, people wanted to make. mean to have answered for his sins and they wanted him to come back but he never did. Same thing with like Pol Pot. It's so interesting that like once you get to a certain level of

dictator and you get ousted, there's still somewhere that'll take you. There's still somewhere that like eh, you did it. Come live out your rest of your lives with us. Yeah, somebody will take you in. I mean, you are such a such a famous wealthy person. Right. That the guy's like, well, you amass all this wealth. You can spell it in our country. We'll make sure. Yeah. We'll try to me. make sure no one kills you. In Saudi Arabia, no one's going to kill you. Yeah. It is kind of wild that all this was happening so recently. Yeah, 2003, it's like, I'm pretty sure I remember when he died. I remember that being a thing. Yeah. I remember that being in the news. And just died of old age, just like, they got sick. The butcher of Uganda, bro. These motherfuckers are awful. Crazy, right?

Like, what's the point? Like, just chill out. People got addicted to that power. I guess. It's just like, bro, just like, try a video game. Like, how do we, how do we fix the dictators? Like, have you met a dictator? Like, is there any way you can just be like, hey, dude, it's not that serious? Mushrooms? I think mushrooms would be your best bet. Just some form of mushrooms in nature.

Or they would feel like they are actually God? I think there's... Yeah, you're right, some people go the other way. Yeah, I think there's something. If you had that in you where you think that, hey, I can control millions of people. And I should. And I should to. I think that's a level of psychopath.

that nothing can really help. Yeah. You have to be kind of a psychopath to want to be the president. Yeah. That's an elected official. Or not even a president, bro. Even to just want to be like...

Governor. The mayor. Yeah, yeah. There's a little bit... Not saying your side, but there's a little in you that's like, oh, you're like, I could do this, but I would run this better.

Yeah, I deserve to run this. Yeah. I should run this. I would do it a better. And it's like the moment you start fucking with that, it gets crazy. I'm just shocked at how many straight-up, like, dictators there were.

We don't remember how we're talking about like, oh, these guys in modern time were like listening to Western music and shit like that. So just as like a little sidebar, Imelda Marcos was the first lady of the Philippines and Fernadand Marcos was the basically like the king or the dictator of the Philippines. And they were huge fans of the Beatles. So they were in the Philippines running this dictatorship in the 60s and they invited the Beatles to play during their 1964 world tour. They declined the luncheon invitation at the presidential. palace and the first lady was so outraged that she spread the word throughout the country that the Beatles had snubbed the president and their wife chaos assued and the Beatles were threatened by an angry mob as they fled the airport. So like these people were like listening to the Beatles

and then also being like we should still be dictators. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they should show us reverence. Yeah. And then all these other people like they thought they were gods. There's so many we didn't even touch on. Yeah, they have they have you have to think if you want to be a dictator, you have to think your God adjacent at the very least. Yeah. Rafael Truillo thought that he was God, ordered all the churches to put up a sign that read, God is in heaven. Trujillo is on earth and required a law that all licensed placed say Viva Trujillo. Yeah, Trujillo was like Dominican Republic? I think so. Yeah. There's some, I mean, Leopold the first, Leopold the second in the Congo. Yeah, that's what I was

expecting to hear about Leopold because that's up there with, that's up there with like one of the for sure. He's arguably like, I don't know if he killed the most, but definitely like the most disgusting. Yes. He was like, took over the Congo from Belgium. They like seized the whole thing and this like, you know, run for Africa in the early 1900s and like would use hands as currency. Like literally everyone was forced to work. If you didn't work, you'd get your hand chopped off. And then the hands were literally like used as bargaining chips to show like how many people they got to work. So they were like, look at it. Look at all the work that we got going. There's a very famous photo of a man in the Congo staring at his.

daughter's hands that have been chopped off. Oh. They would chop off your kids' hands. They would chop off your, yeah. Crazy. And then one of the guys, I'm pretty sure Leopold the second, apparently... That's the big one.

Leopold the second is the big one. Leopold the second was apparently, he has a quote where he says, I mean, we don't even, I mean, it's a brutal picture. Yeah, there it is. It's the, it's in the third from the right up top. That's the famous picture. Crazy, bro.

Oh, my God. Apparently Leopold de Second had a quote where he was like, hey, we need the hands to work. he was like we need these people to be doing work so stop you can cut off anything else except the hands and you're like all right maybe all right he saw

he saw the benefit and not being the worst yeah but then they start jumping off other stuff yeah they would still yeah that that was that was a crazy one yeah dude and there's so many others there's a countless list of the brutality of humankind but I feel like countless list

oh my god of the monster And there's going to be more. There's going to be more. Different countries are going to pop up. There's going to be different dictators that take over other countries. We'll get a world one at some point. At some point, somebody will run the,

they'll be the world dictator. You think so? Oh, bro, everything. Yeah, of course. It feels like we're heading that door. Everything always happens. Everything under the sun will, if everything will happen,

then that will happen. I think we're so connected. I think that's what makes it possible now. Yeah. It's impossible because how would you do it? But now that I, if I can get everybody through this little thing right here to lock into what I'm saying,

I got the world. And we rely. We all rely on each other economically now. So eventually one person will be like, I can do it all. One currency, one everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dictatorship. Who do you think?

The Rock's grandchild, maybe. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Whoever, whoever's down the line of the Kim Kardashian Kanye West line. Oh. Line. It might be speed. It might be speed.

I show speed's grandson. He's so global. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, everyone around the world loves him. Like he anywhere he goes Like there's throngs of people in Indonesia Fall him around Yeah

I think he could take over if he wanted Yeah his son I show control Yeah Yeah Yeah yeah yeah Speed takes over the world quickly And then control comes in

And rules And iron fifth Yeah Oh my god Yeah bro That's just fuck Because the reality is The next dictator

We'll have like a Twitch stream We'll have like a podcast Something that can just reach Millions of people Quickly At once At once I mean, Saddam Hussein didn't even get to him.

Oh, that's great. My favorite quick setup, you can see, you can watch the purge he does on YouTube. Wait, what do you mean? So Saddam purges the people in his own party that are against him, and the way he does it is he's having this sort of meeting, and he just starts calling out names, and then the names have to go up and go outside. You can watch it on YouTube. You can watch these people.

No, he gives half of them guns, and they have to kill the other half. But it's on YouTube. You don't see the assassination, but you see him calling out the names. and them walking out. If you look up Saddam Hussein purge and go to the videos, yeah, very public purge. Saddam Hussein's very public purge.

The bath party purge. Oh my goodness. And you can just watch it. And these people are like pleading with their lives and it's like, bro, it's crazy. And then some of them are just resigned and they know. And he's not even the leader of the bath party

at this time. I think he's second in command. And this is how he sort of takes control. I mean, crazy. So whoever is in command sees this and goes, oh, fuck. He was basically Saddam saying like, hey, I'm the guy now.

Yeah. And then you got, I mean, Mobutu. Mabutu, I've heard that name. Mobutu, he was the dictator of Zaire, built a hundred million dollar palace, required his image to be shown all over the world, killed millions of people, or hundreds of thousands of people, a public execution of four ministers. He executed all of them, tortured all these people. Pierre Mulele, who was lured out of exile with false promises of amnesty.

and he was executed. He siphoned off 60% of the national budget in 1970 and then spent 10 million to host a famous boxing match between Muhammad Ali and George Foreman in 1974. Wow. Yeah. In Africa. Yep.

Yeah, they had that famous one. That's crazy. Rumble in the jungle. Holy shit. In Zaire. And that's Kim Jong-il, Kim Jong-un. The Kims. Yeah, dude.

I mean, Francois Guemme. Oh, so we must be leaving out so many people. from like before times like Roman emperor time like wasn't Caesar a dictator in a way technically he wasn't he tried to become he was like democratically elected and was like I'm going to become I'm going to become a dictator he wasn't going to give up power and then they murdered him yeah but he did take power for a while yeah so he was on his way to be I was about to be a dictator right technically I talked to this guy he was like he's not considered an emperor because he was democratically elected and then like kept the reign and then was murdered but he was also beloved

apparently right like people in in Rome are like too this guy's awesome no the the The people who, like Brutus and all the people who murdered him, didn't expect the people, they were so far removed from the people that they expected the people would like that they killed him. And the people were like, no, we hate this. But then created the run of emperors and run. So many. A lot of evil people out there, dude.

So what do we make of this? What's the conclusion? What is our, what is our moral? Ultimate based. And then Val, would you mind even scrolling down just showing some of the other, all these other people? Look at all these other people that we did. didn't even touch on. I don't even recognize half these dudes. I don't know any of them. Oh my god,

bro. Why would they act like that? My parents lived through the Chavez. You go to Chavez, Venezuela. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you're Venezuelan? Oh, that's crazy. Yeah, didn't even get to him. Yeah, there's a, there's a long list. There's a long, long list. Damn. So maybe the moral story is if you're a dictator, it's like, just chill out. Stop. Yeah, just stop. Like, I don't want to get too political on this show, but I just, you know, stop killing people, you know? You don't want to get too political. Yeah.

Like, I don't want to make it a whole thing. Let's not kill all the women and children. Or there's some psychopath of watching this being like, I think I can make ultimate based. Yeah, based on their criteria, I think I can do it. Yeah, if you were to become a dictator, how would you do it? What would be your strategy? If I were to become a dictator?

Yeah. Damn, but I mean, the best way to do it in America has become democratically elected. Yeah, but America's so hard. There's all checks and balances. I think you have to start small. You have to start at mayor. You have to work your way up instead of like

going for the presidency first. So you got to make the people around you like you and then also like have control. Like okay, this is what it's like with control and then work your way up. Yeah. You sort of build it grassroots.

See, I wouldn't even do. I would just go to like, like, I don't know. Like Vanuatu. Or like I'd pick like a little oceanic island and just be like, yo, I got a thousand bucks.

What do you say? I'd be like, Lord Mark. Or like, I wonder if you do it through like a cargo cult. You ever seen these cargo cults? Like, there are these like, you've heard the term cargo cult? I didn't know what this was. But apparently there were these cults of people like after World War II.

These are around like South Asia kind of vibe or like near like Indonesia or like Oceania, I guess. They would put these planes down. And yeah, the John Frum is like the most famous one. And they basically would put down these planes and they would give people like money and like trade with them in order to get like flight routes where they could get like their planes to land so they could be doing, you know, war missions around the area. And they were like, hey, we're going to come back. Don't worry. And the people like these basically like indigenous tribesmen were like, all right, they're going to come back. And then they never went back. The war ended.

And all that was left there was like basically the gifts that they gave them and some of like the military equipment. And so now the people have deified these soldiers that went down there to trade with them. And they basically were like, these are gods that came down on their big giant birds. And they recreated all this stuff. Yeah. Damn. But yeah, dude. So anyway, those are all the dictators. I think we ranked them for the most evil. Yes. Most base to the least base.

No, it's a cring. Most base to the cringe. Yeah, yeah. A lot of them were cringe. Yeah, a lot of them are really cring. They were cringe. Some are ultimate base. Some are hella based. But gentlemen, thank you so much for joining me. Are you kidding me? This was a fun time. This was a fun time. Thank you. We got to learn more about the world and all the evil within it. And if you like me and or for some reason you're like a

on. We have a podcast called The Solid Show. And Val is on there as well. Yes. So please listen to that if you fuck with the boys. I was just on. And it was a wonderful episode. We had a great time. We literally just had Mark on. We got two episodes of Mark now. The last one episode. The camp episode is very fun. We have an episode about camp and we have an episode about Mark. Thank you all so much. Appreciate y'all for joining. And this has been an episode of

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