Camp Gagnon - The Bible Conspiracy: Giants, Enoch, & Adams First Wife

Episode Date: January 13, 2026

Scoochie Boochie steps into the tent to unpack the Bible’s strangest stories from Adam’s demonic wife and Gnostic secrets to David & Goliath’s battlefield beef and the Book of Revelation’s hidden code. Ancient texts, wild theories, and the weird side of religion all collide in this one. Welcome to Camp. 🏕️Shoutout to our sponsors: Flakes and BlueChewVisit https://byeflakes.com and use code 'CAMP' to get 20% off, a free scalp brush, and a 30-day money-back guarantee.👕🧢 SHOP THE UFO COLLECTION HERE: https://camp-rd.com/collections/ufo🎟️ 🎫 Comedy Tour Tickets Here: https://markgagnonlive.com🎩👽 Daily Dose Of History Here: https://www.dailytodayinhistory.comMake Sure To Follow  @History-Camp  🏕️ 🎩😳 Follow Our Comedy Channel  @MarkGagnonComedy  Timestamps:1:30 — Scoochie Boochie In The Tent6:40 — Growing Up Christian11:27 — Heaven’s Record Book14:49 — Bear’s In The Bible23:48 — David & Goliath Beef on Battlefield30:08 — Adam’s Demonic Wife In Eden40:41 — Gnosticism44:44 — Tower of Babel48:43 — Jonah & The Whale53:11 — Leviticus + Sodom & Gomorrah57:40 — Mark’s Conspiracy Family1:00:52 — The Book of Enoch1:10:12 — Comparing Flood Stories1:13:56 — LSD Dolphins1:15:43 — Noah’s Drunk on Wine1:19:49 — Doordash Driver Exposed on Couch1:22:01 — The Book of Revelation + Nero 6661:28:41 — Christian Bands + Drunk Etymology#Religion #Heaven #peace #podcast #history #religion #ancient #film #educational #knowledge #information #campgagnon

The Holy Bible, one of the most important and studied religious documents known to mankind. In it are hundreds of rules and stories and allegories for how humanity should live. But if you actually sit down and read it, there are some parts that are absolutely hilarious. And in this episode, we're going to be looking at the Bible, Bible stories, and other non-canonical Bible-adjacent stories in a very non-preachy, lighthearted way. We are asking the question, what makes the Bible and early Christianity funny. I mean, angels who descend from heaven and immediately cause problems by giving women makeup and giants just casually walking around like no big deal and God hitting the reset button with a global flood and humanity trying to build a skyscraper only for God to come down and squash them and send them around

the earth. Yes, we are not here to convert anyone or to mock my religion just to have fun, ask questions and appreciate just how strange, creative, and surprisingly relatable these ancient stories can be. Think less a sermon on the mount and just two guys having fun in the tent looking at the Bible. And yes, I do this with my good friend Scoochie Boochie, who's a hilarious comedian, rapper, podcaster, who actually has his own show where he talks about funny Bible stories. So there's no better person to do it with. So if you are interested in the early Bible, non-canonical texts like the book of Enoch and everything else in the Old Testament that makes you look at it and go, that's really in there?

Well, this is the episode for you. So sit back, relax, and welcome to camp. Scootie Booch, what's up, man How you doing, Mark? Thanks for having me. Of course, brother. Thank you for joining me in my tent. I appreciate it. This is sick. This is such a good vibe in here. I like it a lot. Now, for the audience at home, I did truncate your name slightly.

Sure. Scootie Boochie. That's the full. That's how people know you in the streets. Yeah, 100%. In the communities. Yes. In the dungeons.

That's where the name rings. In the catacombs? Yeah, that'll give you to turn my head. That's where the name rings loudest. You are a fascinating guy. A mensch, as they would say, in certain neighborhoods. and I'm excited to have you on the show. You kind of, in many ways, epitomize what this is really all about, you know? Thanks.

Because the way I would characterize you, first off, a comedian, a funny guy. Thanks. But also a white boy with motion. God forbid. You are a rapper that does, like, can I dare I say funny raps or is that dismissive? No, no, that's totally true. Technically good. Thank you.

There's lore, there's a world built into it that goes deep. Yeah. touring the country as a professional musician rapper, which is phenomenal. Thank you. I think most people watching at home would not think that. I think when people are characterizing a rapper, they would see scoochibucci.

Totally. And then furthermore, also a formerly religious person. And currently you do a podcast called Holy Smokes where you smoke weed and tell Bible stories. Correct. And our mutual friend Sophia was telling me about you, and I was like, check. check, check. This is basically everything.

Like, you are, yeah, you are the show. Minus me not really rapping in public. Right. Like if I'm like a couple of Odellas deep and my friends for an explore, I will freestyle. Who among us can resist the urge for time? Exactly. Exactly. But I just want to give that as a preface to the audience. Thank you. And today, almost undoubtedly, we are going to discuss your rap influence, which is awesome. We're also going to discuss comedy in some sort of abstract way. And maybe the best way to begin is a brief outline on you.

And then I would love for you to regale me some of your favorite Bible stories. So just tell me, like, why are you, you? Dang. Right to the core. Yeah, I've been trying to make people laugh pretty much immediately from the time I was a kid. Like, I was the one with, like, the camcorder and I movie trying to make my friends make, like, funny videos. And I was like, all right, I'm going to be, like, a writer for the office. And by the time I got to college, I started doing like stand-up and improv and stuff.

And I was like, okay, I like stage. I like that. And then somewhere along the way I started writing silly raps. And then I got really engrossed with the process of like, just the way the brain lights up when you sort of like solve the puzzle and put four bars together. It's just like ding, ding, ding, ding. Nice. Yeah. And I like the feeling of like assigning myself points for different things.

Like, it's funny. It works with the rhyme scheme. It sounds like something someone would actually say or it sounds like something no one would ever say. There's like lots different ways I can, like, assign points that way. That's funny. And it was really fun as someone who grew up in this religious background, which makes like where pride is like a bad thing or at least like a thing that you should be really careful about. Don't I know.

To play a character who's like, I'm the best rapper in the United States. And so it was a really funny bit to do that in front of like a lot of like comedy audiences of like seven people that don't care to go up there and be like, I'm the shit. Everyone loves me when there's like no one there and stuff. And so that was like a really fun bit to pretend I was like the man when I definitely for sure wasn't. That's so funny. You just unlock something in my brain. What's that?

Because I feel the same way. Yeah. I realize even for myself, like so many of the comics I loved growing up were playfully arrogant. Yeah. And I always liked that. And I also grew up in a similar situation where pride was quite literally the worst thing you could do. Yeah. Like I remember, I forget what the context even was.

I was like a little kid. I vaguely remember this. But like, it was actually my wife that reminded me of this because I told her apparently at a certain point. But she was like, yeah, you were telling me that, like, you like someone asked you if you were proud of yourself and you didn't know how to answer it so i remember like after like a soccer tournament movie won and like someone was like you should be very proud of yourself and i was like what i asked my mom i was like should i be proud of myself is that allowed and she literally was like yeah she was like be careful don't be proud of

yourself yeah be proud of like the team yeah so like be proud of like what you guys did but don't be proud of yourself yeah that would be that would be literally the sin that you know got uh old old lucy sent out of the pearly gates. You know what I mean? It's a weird thing because also you can't argue with the results too because like having that mindset like don't be like too proud of this or whatever does make me like try really hard

like that sense of like because I already have that like middle child want people's approval thing. And on top of that it's like just the humbling nature of growing up evangelical plus the humbling nature of having no success my entire 20s. I feel like white rappers are kind of like vegan restaurants.

We're like we know you think we suck so we try extra fucking hard. I'm not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, I fucking just tried so hard. Yeah. But you need that, though. Yeah, I mean, that's what makes greatness.

I think if I felt a lot better about myself, I wouldn't have made as good of stuff. Yeah. So maybe mentally it's not a great trade-off, but as far as the work, it can produce results. I mean, before we get too crazy macro and philosophical, I do unfortunately think that that is a necessary condition for greatness is some hole in your heart. Yeah, at least being like this sucks Hopefully not too much I suck Exactly Like this sucks

Not good enough, not good enough Until you feel like you're done But unfortunately I do think Insecurity and inadequacy is One of the ultimate driving forces That pushes all people to do all things Yeah, yeah If Alexander the Great was like, dude

I'm the man I'm good, like I'm so content I don't know if he would have been the Great He would have just been Alex Like that just would have been kind of where it ends He's a chill hang Yeah exactly He'd been like the homie

He works in grain sales Yeah Yeah, you would have conquered Egypt, though. You know what I'm saying? Like, it would have been a different vibe. But that's an interesting sort of an interesting analysis already. And also, like, in the evangelical world where it's a lot of, like, the main message is like, you're a sinner, you're built in. That's how it started.

But you're saved by Jesus. And so now that I'm not as much of a Jesus guy, I think I still have the I'm a piece of shit part, but just nothing to like plug that in. Yeah, but at least. Yeah. But at least it makes me good stuff. Like, gotta, you know. Yeah, that's funny. Yeah, because Christianity is sort of like, you, you are.

are broken, but Christ saved you. Yeah. And without the Christ saved you, you broke. You broke. You're broke. Yeah, you're a little broke, dude. That's funny. And so you grew up very evangelical. He was a Calvinist. Yeah, Presbyterian specifically, but yeah, reformed CRC was the denomination specifically. Got it. What does CRC's name for? So Christian Reformed Church. So it's pretty strong in like the Midwest, especially like West Michigan, where I went to school in a place called Calvin. And yeah, it goes back to the theologian John Calvin, who is like a theocrat in like, I think Switzerland. And so that, and then there was a lot of like Dutch folks are into it. And there's a lot of folks of Dutch descent in like the West Michigan area.

Right. But they're all over Midwest and Canada. He's got Calvin's a big predestination guy. Big time. Yeah, that's kind of the brand. Yeah. What is it? 144,000.

Is that the number? Yeah, I don't know if they did the head count part of it. But there was. I knew some Calvinist, I think. Yeah. Correct me from wrong. I'm sorry if I'm, if I'm, uh, disrespect in the CRC folks.

But I did know some Calvinists that, like, based on Revelation, they'd be like, under 44thou, that's who's getting in. That's all the tickets we got. Yeah. And if that's the number. That's like, that's like Springfield, Illinois. That's like not even a tough look. I think that was actually a big part of me, ultimately even the faith, just like, kind of

like a who all going to be there for heaven. I was like, so none of the good bands? Tough. Some of the most annoying people I know are going to be there, tough. Some of the best bands probably shouldn't. be there, okay, in fairness. Like, even if there's a lot of people in heaven, like, you got to be able to be like, all right.

Like, come on. This front man was banging 16-year-olds. Look me in the eye, Mc Jagger, tell me you deserve all the way in. Like, that's one thing that I did think was funny from T-Dogg, from old Trump, was that they asked him, like, you're going to heaven, he was like, nah. I was like, that's just, like, super honest. Like, there's something that's, like, really admirable about that. I mean, like, no. Like, even, like, in that moment, he was, like, low-key, like, he did get a ceasefire

going. So for anything you want to say about the guy, him just, been like, come on. You think I'm? Me? He, like, looked behind him. He was like, me? Who do you think I am? Yeah, which is hilarious.

But, uh, yeah, like, it's just, yeah, I wonder if it's easier to get into heaven than Mar-a-Lago. I'm like, I wonder, like, what the deal with that is. Anyway, Scooch, I didn't mean to make this political iPod. I was, okay? You know what? I'll recuse you. Um, but yeah, that's just like a funny, the Calvinists are kind of funny with that.

It's a, it's a sketchy thing. If you only have a, if you have a fixed number. Yeah. There was an acronym, Tulip. You ever heard of that? No. It's a total depravity, meaning you're born a sinner. Unconditional election, meaning God has picked who's going to save regardless of whether, like, it's very much like works is not the way in.

It's like the, you're just like saved. And then I forget the right. I don't have to look it up. But yeah. Creasers, can we get a fact check on this? How many people ever existed? Right? Because like now, because if you're thinking 144,000 out of eight bill, you're like, that's tough out of the people rate.

now. But you can't think right now. You've got to think forever and always ever. Yeah. So like from Adam and Eve. Like there's two of limited atonement. Irresistible grace. Irresistible grace meaning like if you're saved you're saved you can't like undo that. Perseverance of the saints is like but do keep trying to be a good person even though it's kind of out of your hands after you accept Christ. Whoa. I forget what the limited atonement is but yeah. Limited atonement. It's a limited time offer. Yeah, I guess. 117 billion. Okay.

All right. So. All right. Yeah, it's going to be tough pickings. You're going to get in there and it's just going to be a bunch of the ancient mofos.

You know what I mean? Forever, too. That's the part about heaven that You ever watched the Good Place, NBC show? No, I'm familiar with it though. Fantastic. The ending of it,

it's not, okay, spoilers for people if they haven't seen the good place, but in the end, they're in sort of the afterlife and they have this sort of thing where like, eventually you're going to get sick of it

and you can just opt out and just go through this like nice little gate and just sort of dissolve. because it's like forever it's so fucking long and so they like eventually kind of like

all just like fall into like apathy because they're like I've done everything they're just like they have Phoebe from Friends as like a guest star in it and she's just like summoning milkshakes which she's like super depressed

it's fantastic but I think about heaven I'm like well first of all I know what I do first which is like hey I need like a Vod of like anything that's ever happened on earth show me the like

hundred funniest things that have ever happened I'm talking about branch that hit a monkey which hit a dinosaur, like crazy coincidences. Throughout every, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, like, give me the stats. Who was the horniest guy that's ever lived?

Yes. Yeah. Give me the most, I just want to like... Who peed the longest? Because, like, some guy peed for like three minutes straight one time. Time and distance. Yeah, exactly. I want to see it all.

That is a good point. I would actually love to get a Spotify wrapped on, like, my time on Earth. Or all time on Earth. Yeah, exactly. Show it to me. Here's everything that's ever happened in data. And then showing you the VOD, giving you the American's funny some videos of it.

Yeah. Rob Deerdock hosts it. It's like, yo, what's up, man? We're checking out the craziest shit. And then it's just like dinosaurs, like slipping. You're like, bro, this is awesome. I needed this. That tarpitt owned that man.

Yeah. That would be awesome as hell. That's all I want. Yeah, that actually, if you could go back in time for five minutes, you have a time machine, you can't change it, but you can go, like, witness. Just go check something out. What would you go see it? Fuck, man.

I wish there was, I mean, if there was a way to know exactly, like, if Atlantis was real, I want to see that, go bobble-bl-bl-l-I think that'd be pretty hype. Like, going down? Yeah, going down, just for the, like, thickness of it, I don't know. It'd be pretty terrifying, no. The Atlanta's a solid. Yeah.

But then it's tricky, though, because then you have to guess where you think it was. Oh, you have to put in the... Yeah, it's geogessor. Yeah, it's geogessor. You got just kind of like drop a coordinate. And so you might just go to someplace in, like, the middle of, like, the ocean, be like, fuck. Dude, geogessers my shit. Anytime I'm sick, I just pull up my laptop and I just watch Rainbow, just be like, that's Slovenia.

Nice. Yeah, there's no way, right? I'm such... Like, I love Rainbow, but the Saints'all I'm also like, there's just no way. I mean, there's tricks. apparently it's like a lot of it's just the road lines and street signs yeah he'll walk you through it and he'll be like okay well this sign is in Cantonese so like it's probably gonna be China yeah that I'm like all right I'm with that but then sometimes you'll just see like a cup

and be like oh this is at Mark's house I'm like how do he knows why does he know this that's Bulgari Cup yeah yeah I'm like nice but I don't know I mean it's he needs to get picked up by like intelligence immediately like it's crazy he's not just fully agencyed up dude I had that with one of my earliest shows where there was like only three people it was a bunch of different rappers and there was like three people in the crowd that like knew my stuff and this one girl she like knew like all the words and so I talked to reference like how do you find my stuff and she's like oh I was searching for a

different artist like three days ago and I found you on accident and then I just listened all of it and I'm and my buddy who was standing there afterwards he was like there's no shot that her job is utilizing her memorization appropriately because that's fucking insane like like rich shit's really word yet specific and she was like hard up just rainmanned it I'm like damn yeah that's also intelligence. Her and Rainbow.

Again, dial then. There's no way they're using that well enough. That's so funny. So you grew up in a fairly religious environment, went to a religious school. Yeah. In college. Yep.

And then you would consider yourself like a fan. Yeah. Yeah. Now I'm still a fan of the book in the way that I'd be a fan of like Lord of the Rings where it's like, yeah, I like the lore of it all. And obviously there's definitely some beautiful and true stuff in there, but I don't apply it to myself in the way that I did growing up. That's fair.

But you do a podcast where you regale the greatest hits. Yeah. So for folks at home, I host a podcast called Holy Smokes, We Smoke, We Can Tell Bible Stories. I describe it as like, it's like drunk history, but with wheat and the Bible. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's really fun because a lot of, you know, my guests are basically a bunch of Chicago comedians and improvisers. And some of them, a lot of them grew up some form of religious, but some of them didn't at all. And that I really enjoy it because then they're like, what should I do?

I'm like, just flip through there. You're going to find something. You had no idea it was in there. Yeah. Because just from a lower perspective, I mean, judges alone. Oh, yeah. Chalk full of the craziest shit you've ever. Samson alone has like 14 different crazy things.

Can you tell me some of the ones that you enjoyed? The one I always recommend to people's episode with Nick Davis about the prophet Elijah who's hanging out and then some youths mock him from being bald. They said, go on up, you baldhead. Which is kind of nice to see that like the comment section has always been the common section. And then he summons two bears and that the bear's mall full. 42 of the U's. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And that led to a discussion of like, how do you think the bears split that up? Was there like a LeBron bear that did put up like 30, 5? And the other one just had a few. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Chris Bosch bear. That was just kind of like a role player, but still important. There was a Norris Cole bear that got like two.

But then it's also 42 of the youths, which is funny. We're like, well, how many kids were there total? Were they just like 43 and there's just one that got away, like smoking a cigarette? Oh, that's a good point. He literally, he was like, yeah, we're going to go chirp Elijah. And then I got to go peace. so bad. And he came back and he was like, oh, what are I should do? He was probably the one that chirped him and then dipped and then all his friends paid the price. Bro. But like that's kind of

a good sign that because like for the most part, most of the bald guys I know are pretty tough. True. You know what I mean? Christos. That's one of them for sure. The Greek freak is what we call him. He's six five diesel. Okay. He's sitting down. You can't tell. And I mean, the rock. True. You know what I mean? Don't mess with bald. That's what I'm saying, right? Rogan, Dana white? Like, these are all bald dudes that could probably fuck you up. And that is the move, like, if I ever went bald, I'd got to go strong. Because if I was bald with this build, it

would look like I'm dying. Oh, maybe that's what it is. Maybe it's like, okay, if I am going to go bald, I am going to get ripped. A friend of mine told me that in college, he's like, I'm losing my hair, I'm getting strong. And I was like, good call, man. That's my... That's a good point. My dad used to always said. He's like, if you're dumb, you got to be tough. And if you're

bald, you got to be strong. You know what I mean? Or you got to have bears on tap. That's the funny thing about that story too is like it just ends. Like people assume Bible stories are like, and here is the moral of the story. But like that's why I get preachers. A lot of times the Bible doesn't say what the moral is. It just ends. Yeah.

So our theory was like, well, maybe there was just like some priest who was having a hard time getting the kids to settle down and be nice to him. And he's like, you know what? Let me tell you a little story. You don't hear what happens about some kids who made fun of a guy like me? Like I fucking mauled the end. All right. Then one of those guys heard and he was like, well, that's going to go in here for sure.

That's fire. That's going in for sure. That's crazy. I really do, because you know how in the Gospels, like Jesus will always harken and call back to the Old Testament? Yeah. I do wish he'd brought that up at one point. Yeah. Oh, dude, a little follow-up would have been so nice.

Just like one line. Just to recap. Just being like, also just keep your comments to yourself. Or bears will legit maw you. In the words of, was it, Jamie Vardy, he's like, talk shit, get something. I heard of what he said? Talk shit, get banged, I think. Oh, yeah.

Talk shit, get banged. Yeah. Get banged, bro. That's fire. It really is true. And it's also, it is funny to see how many. Oh, it's funny actually in the Bible It says two female bears

Oh yeah, she bears I don't know how that makes it Just you're supposed to picture big bear titties I think I'm slitting around Okay, I changed my time travel Answer, I'm going back to the bears I'm going back to these big old

You're like, wait, they got tities, I'm there They got the fucking bear BL dude Fucking beating up these youth Bear naked ladies, dude That's awesome It's funny because key details It says according to my biblical scholar

that is feeding me information not chat chb-t it says youths typically means teen boys which is kind of funny that like that's exactly who would do it middle schoolers yeah it's middle school which like

is the scariest group of people oh my god yeah like Malini obviously has a hilarious bit on this but like it is so true that like a group of like teenagers hanging out after school and that many it's very like schools out like there's a whole gang of them that's terrifying yeah yeah no exactly Like in New York, like, that is the people that I'm the most concerned about. Oh, in New York especially, because they've been roasting since they could talk.

Exactly. So they could break you down. I remember moving to New York being like, oh, I'm afraid of, like, getting robbed. And it would be like an, like, I'm picturing like a gang member that's like 40 robbing me. And all my friends were like, no, you're going to get robbed by like a 16 year old. Like that's where, like, that's where the crime happens. Insult to injury. It's like a 16 year old robbing like a 14 year old.

Yeah. Like that's like 90% of like crime. I got, I got mug. by an adult in Chicago, and I really liked it because he was very professional. I didn't like it, but it was not that scary because it felt like he knew what the deal was, and he made it very clear. He just, it was right outside of I.O. in Chicago, improv theater. And I was standing with my girlfriend at the time, and he walks up, and he just shows the pistol, and he goes, cash. I'm like, that makes sense. I started doing this. And he goes, don't put your hands up. And I was like,

great, that's a good point. Shouldn't do that. And then the poor guy got like seven and changed, because we were improvisers. And then as he walked away, he went, keep kissing. And so we were like like kind of waiting for him to like leave her or whatever. I was kind of hot actually. I was like I was with my sister which I didn't like that. Elsa was not going to get to. So my God. That's kind of a good deal.

You paid $7 to kiss your crush? That's kind of nice. Yeah, and then I slipped up to 20 like, my man. Dude, you got to just do that. Yeah. That's smart. That's just your homie. You're like, hey, I'm going to be with this girl.

We have a lot of chemistry, but I'm really nervous. But it's not like the Nacho Libre thing where you pay your friends to pretend to attack. and then you defend her. Like, I fully get robbed, then I get to kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it works out in the end. It's pretty sick. And then at the wedding, he comes out with the same ski mask,

pulls it off. And she's like, it was you the whole time. My man. Dude, that's wild. So you just got, I mean, I don't have you ever heard that joke before, but like, I forgot which comic is, but he's like, when I was so poor that when I was getting robbed, like, the robbers were just robbing me for practice.

Like, that's all the ones. Yeah, he's just getting reps in. Like, that's him in an open mic. Yeah. That's an open mic robber. You got bomb 100 times before you get there. But you get, you seems like you got robbed by the best. Like this guy was like, on the come up.

He knew what he was doing. At every step, he was like, do this. And I was like, I think I just do like, I like, I think that's what I was good at school. Like knowing what the assignment is. Here's the parameters. I was like, all right, I can work with this. Yeah. I mean, it is funny that you put your hands up.

Yeah, like in the movies. Yeah, because you're like, oh, this is what happens next. Yeah, like he was like a guy in the 40s with a Tommy gun. Yeah, yeah. It was a stick up. He's like, no. It's funny because you put your hands up to indicate that you don't have a weapon. Right.

And he robbed you because he knew you didn't have a weapon. I was wearing a pretty similar sweater, I think. Yeah. I'm a strong guy with a mustache. You're probably not going to have like the Glock on you. I think I had glasses then too. I could have looked more like just like academic and harmless. If I was him, I would have stole your glasses.

I'd be like, yeah, this guy will never know what I look like. This is the perfect crime. Why do I need a mask if he has like 10, 10 vision? That's such a good point. Good luck dialing 911 blind, idiot. Yeah, exactly. I have great news for you. Do you want to know the official moral

from this Elisha Bear story? Oh, yeah, sure. Respect God's authority. Elisha isn't a guy getting roasted. He's God's representative. So if you mock him, you're mocking God. Yeah. So do you want to recant to any of the jokes

you made about Elisha so far? Dude, it's too late for me. I'm 60-some episodes into roasting the whole Bible. That's fair. Disrespect towards the cigarette is real consequences. So it's not about baldness, it's about authority. Sure. So there you go.

I do like ancient rows. Throughout the Bible, there are great little disses. Oh, totally. Like in the, I forget which book in the gospels, but they're talking about Jesus from Galilee. And literally the guys are talking to each other hearing about this guy that people are talking about the name Jesus. And they go, Galilee? He's from, what good has ever come from Galilee? Yeah.

And literally they're like talking, it'd be like if Jesus was from like Omaha. And you'd be like, what, what, what's ever, who's from Omaha? Jesus from Omaha. It's like, to them, Galilee was like a kind of like little, yeah, a little side town. They're like, you don't really go into. Totally. And so they're like chirping the town. Yeah.

And it's just in, it's just in there. Also, I feel like Dave and Goliath kind of starts with a rat battle because they'd have the two battle lines and they would, Goliath would come up and just talk shit to their entire army. Like, who the fuck? Who wants it? He was basically Kevin Garnett. Just scream it at him like you don't want this problem and then eventually David like stepped up and was like talking shit about how none of them are circumcised which is a hilarious thing to rest them for He's like look at these uncircumcised like idiots which is a funny thing. Okay this is one half women bald bears good good good good

What even I don't even understand We've given creases too much power I don't even really understand he's in the lab what is the search there she bears What is the what did you search? I need to know what actually just happened. I combined everything that I heard, which was bald, bear, woman, and beautiful. Because all of those things are beautiful. I like how you added beautiful. I don't think it's yeah. The Christmas got so afraid to get cancelled. It was just like

an empowered bear, a strong bear, a bear with opinions that can run a company. You're like, what? Okay, so this is hilarious. Goliath comes out every morning and evening and talk shit. Yeah. That's why. So yeah, he was just trying to get a one v1 basically. He's hitting them like in the all chat like 1v1 me bro. And which is like, as someone who would for sure have been just a regular soldier, I was like, I like that system. We don't need all thousands of us die.

Let's just have two people that are really about it. Do it. But of course, no one wants to fight him. He's Glythe. He's giant. But then David rallies the boys and he's like, guys, how are we going to let these uncircumcised losers like talk down to us? Which is such a funny thing to roast them about because like you guys are the only ones that are circumcised. Everyone else has normal style.

And you're like, look at those idiots. They haven't even cut part of their dick up. But it's also like Goliath's foreskin? Jesus Christ. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. That thing would be long, bro. 100%.

That thing you get twisted around. He's got like a wizard cap. Like a laundry hamper. Yeah, exactly. He's like how like a guy in like the 1930s goes to sleep. You know what I mean? He puts on like a nice little cap or something. He's got a scrooge cap.

Yeah, because he had a scrooge cap. The scrooge cap's a pretty good term for a forest kid. Yeah, exactly, bro. He's a hoodied up. He literally, Goliath goes. He hears Goliath once and goes, who's this uncircumcised Philistine? Yeah.

Like, bro, he's just got a regular piece. You're the one that's chopped up. Like, that's wild. Which is kind of funny because the translations that are like, what fuck is this dick? Yeah. He literally is like just kind of just saying it the way we say, which is hilarious.

And then apparently David's brothers are roasting him more than Goliath. So David's brothers, Eliab says, I know your arrogance. who did you leave those few sheep with? And then another one's like, literally he's just like, you're unemployed, you got nothing going for,

you're being arrogant. And David just goes, what have I done now? Can't I even talk? That's very like brother conversation. Like, shut up, you never let me talk. Yeah.

Can I say one thing? Can I say one thing? Can I just literally say one thing? That's so funny. And then David just shows up with no weapon, which is also kind of funny. Have you seen any videos on Instagram of people using like biblical style

like slings did? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Crazy how fast those things go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just like break a bottle or whatever. Yeah, once you see that, you're like, oh, this is a completely uneven fight. David absolutely had the upper hand. Hit him with the ranged attack.

Yeah, it's incredible. Like, that's why Glythe was talking shit. Like, war before guns was so much more theatrical. Yeah. Because you could just go and you'd have a drummer. You'd have, like, a dude just laying a beat down, like a tight beat. There's a guy with a dead mouse helmet. Yeah, because you're like, yeah, they can't get me.

Like, if they get close to me, just push. them away. Yeah. Like, that's what war was. Yeah. Maybe they would have like a spear. A lot more pushing. Yeah. It was just like a lot of shoving, like, which is, which for the record is my, the only place I'll ever fight is in an airport. Why's that? Because I know no one has a weapon. So it would just be a completely even battle. So I will not fight. If you challenge me to a fight in another place, no. If it's Terminal C at LaGuardia, I will fight you. That's really funny. And I think it would be even. Like it'd just be the two of us, finally. Man be man and just see what happens or woman if a woman wants to get it we can go after if she bear wants to want to attack me all right

we can let it bang in the airport it turns into a johnwick thing where you're just grabbing stuff at hand you hit her with a sabaro slice yeah exactly charger like got a tsa bucket just and hit her on the head him hit him why would i even say her come on dude optional yeah it doesn't matter but it's uh i mean that's a hilarious story the story just casually mentions david uh keeps the head yes i was going to say that too people know the the the slingshot headshot part but then he cuts his head off and takes his sword, gets the loot. He's like, yo, check this shit out. And, like, brings it back to Saul and he's like, I did that shit.

I imagine it's huge, though. I imagine he's like, carrying it, like, holding the hold. He's doing like a kettlebell. He's lifting with his legs. He's like, oh, my God, his blood everywhere. He's like, oh, goodness. Yeah, his hair's all wet. It's such a nightmare. I regret picking it up, but I got to do it now. Everyone's

watching. Just rolling his head around, just trying to get it back to Saul. He's doing little soccer touches with it. Yeah. Oh, that's so funny. I mean, one that makes me laugh in general. Oh, yeah. Is this a... Slingshot.

To humble Goliath. It's probably what David looked like. Oh, shit. Oh! 360 quick scope. Yeah, that's kind of sick. Good Lord. Yeah, and you know David's wearing the dry fit.

Breathable tights as well. With the bun. This is awesome. I love how he prop the table up against like a bush so it would go down. 360. Do you follow the people that claim to have mind power? hours on Instagram. What's that like?

Oh, it's the greatest thing ever. It'll just be like a dude in like a robe. And it's not like a wizardy robe. It's kind of just like like it almost looks like a graduation gown. Okay. And he'll have like tinfoil set up on the table. And I don't know if he's doing a bit. There's one guy specifically I follow or if this is real.

Yeah. But he'll just be like and then blast the tinfoil down. And he'll just post hundreds of these videos. And I watch all of them and I'm like, that is sick. Because either you're doing a bit, which is hilarious. or you think that you have mind control, which is even better. This is the greatest thing ever.

But it kind of reminds me of this guy just being like, and the thing is just propped up by the little twig and falls over. He's like, would have killed Goliath? 100%. 100%. Put me in.

I could have taken out Goliath in a heartbeat. I mean, one of the, maybe my favorite Bible story, Adam and Eve is very funny to me. Oh, yeah. Adam Neve is just hilarious in many different ways. Oh, yeah.

Well, first off, I mean, I need to get probably some facts on this. Do you know there's a, Like a, some would call it a fanfic on Adam and Eve, where it wasn't originally Adam and Eve. It was Adam and. You say Steve? No, whoa, what the heck?

What, dude? What the, what kind of Bivalerian? That's crazy. You are wild for that, bro. You're a lib. Adam and who are you. You left the church who got libed out. No, this is, uh, no, this is Adam and Lilith.

Lilith? You ever heard of Lilith? That's some knockoff Kirkland shit. Lilith. This is, this comes from the Jewish folklore tradition. Okay. I don't know if it's in the Torah or that's an act, but I've talked to my Jewish friends that are like, dude,

you got to look into Lilith. Lilith. And it's instead of Eve or in addition to? Instead of. Okay. This is Eve 1.0. Sure. So the short version of this is that God makes Adam and Lilith.

Uh-huh. And she refuses to, broadly speaking, submit to Adam. And then gets, like, banished out of Eden and then becomes a night demon sex goblin. this is true she's not in the bible directly but maybe in the margins and uh basically yeah she just goes out and uh okay hold on this is this is interesting oh here we go so it doesn't mention adam's wife who she appears in jewish folklore in uh the alphabet of ben syra in the talmud as adam's first wife created equal from dust but fleeing after refusing submission now allegedly it's because she was too freaky oh this type of submission you wanted was

for her to be less, like, hey, chill out. I need to find the exact. Hands off. Whoa, whoa.

I need, okay, so I don't, I don't want to get this incorrect, okay, just in case my, my Jewish folklore

are watching. Lilith too freaky. So she refused to submit sexually to Adam and insisted on equality. Wow. We were made the same.

So she left Eden on her own terms. But then after she leaves, the text turns on her, where she's now a night demon, a corruptor of men, and a seductress. Damn. So she was just trying to, like, I think she was trying to, like, be on top. I think.

I don't know if it's exactly explicitly stated like that. Right. It's hard to tell whether that means refusing to, like, have sex with him or just, she just wanted to get on top for once. Yeah, I think she was trying to hit it with a reverse cowie. And he was like, no. He was like, this is not the way it's supposed to be. Why are you worried about your pleasure?

This is insane. Wrong, all wrong. Yeah. And I think that was like the initial rift. And then she got banished out. And then literally is just like a sex demon that's like out in the world. Oh my God. That's the OG store.

She sounds great. I like everything you've said about. I'm like, that's way cooler than Eve. This is how I know you're a real rapper, dude. You're like, dude, I could fix her. I need a baddie like this, dude. Let me get this girl. Put her in the studio.

What's up guys? We're going to take a break real quick because we've got to have some real talk. All right. If you've ever brushed off white flakes from a black t-shirt, okay? That's not dry scalp or whatever. you're telling yourself, right? That's dandruff. And dandruff is caused by a fungus. Now, most shampoos don't actually fix that. No, they just dry your scalp even more, so you just keep on buying the shampoo. And honestly, a lot of these formulas haven't even changed since

like the 1960s. Every big shampoo brand was developed then, which is also when doctors were like, hey, take a cigarette for some stress. And that's why I like flakes. See this right here? This is flakes. It is an anti-dandruff shampoo and conditioner that actually targets the problem. It's got two times the active ingredient peritone zinc, then the standard drugstore brands, and it was developed by a top dermatologist out of New York City. Now, here's the part that most people miss. Scalp health is hair health. That dandruff fungus irritates your scalp, which then caused you to it all the time,

then it leads to more inflammation and then even shedding. Yes, it even can cause you to lose your hair. Clear the scalp, and your hair will look better and fuller and healthier. And flakes to something that's great. They don't do like the two-on-one lazy thing. no. Shampoo clears the fungus and the flakes, and then the conditioner puts moisture back into your scalp with MCT oil so that your hair actually stays soft and flexible instead of breaking off in the shower. Also, it smells great, like clean, you know, it's not medicinal, it's not

overpowering. There's no harsh junk in it that makes your scalp even worse off than it was before and keeps you in the cycle. I mean, straight up, I just used flakes today, all right? I'm telling you, it's so moisturizing and makes your hair feel great. Even if you don't have dandruff, it's grape your hair and it'll keep you from ever getting dandruff. It is dermatologist developed. It's already used by hundreds of thousands of guys. And honestly, it's just a grown-up move. And right now, you can get 20% off plus a free scalp brush, all right? And a 30-day money-back guarantee if you use the code camp, that's C-A-M-P. And if it doesn't work for you, you're not stuck with it. Yeah, that's right. The promo code Camp, C-A-M-P for 20% off, free scalp brush, which feels incredible

on your scalp and a 30-day money-back guarantee. There's literally nothing to lose. Give it a shot. You're going to get 20% off. And if you don't like it within 30 days, just tell them, hey, this wasn't for me. You're getting your money back. And nothing is going to be lost, except obviously the flakes on your shirt that you've been brushing away. So look, take care of the roots, get better hair. Your black shirts are actually going to be black again. The itch on your scalp is gone. That's the flakes promise. Now, let's get back to the show. But that's Adam and Lilith. And then Adam Eve come around.

One of the things I was thinking about Adam and Eve that think is so funny. Were they ever kids? Or just like bloop as adults like Sims? Yeah. Yeah, they don't mention, that'd be wild. But like, yeah, the box car children years. Bro, they just spawn as adults, I think. Yeah.

Like, in my mind, they were always like 30. Yeah. But now that I'm 30, I'm like, they were just me. Crazy way to start. Like, that's just the off rip. And then what's crazy is that then they had to have kids. Right. So now they've never been kids.

They have kids. They're like, did we do this wrong? Why do they look so small in belly? Like, they're like, I was never that. Yeah,

they're like, God told us to be fruitful and go multiply. Yeah. Yeah. We did. And now there's like this little half human alien thing that we got to like take care of

and like it's shitting everywhere. And they're looking at each other like, bro, what do we do? I mean, that classic feeling is new parents where you don't know what you're doing. They had that the most ever.

The most ever, dude. And they're like, dude, what is a belly button? They're like, we don't know. Like, There's so many elements of this.

Like, I have a one-year-old baby. I barely can do it with my parents. And all the resources. ChatGBT, everything, a doctor, like thousands of years of medical history. I don't even understand what they did. And then their kids are asking them questions. Yeah. Like, mom and dad, where do babies come from?

And they're like, well, you guys are going to need to fuck each other. First of all. In this case, in this case, it comes from you guys. We don't exactly know, but you will bang her sister. And don't ask really why. Dude, we had a guy, so I went to a tiny Christian school. It was like K through 12, like 200 kids. Same.

Okay, cool. My graduating class was 22. How big was your graduating class? 50. Nice. Yeah, we're twice. Right in that range where it's like, how is this not homeschool? I was homeschooled.

I was homeschool before that. That is the pipeline. But one day they brought like a guest speaker just in the gym and he had like his poster board set up. And his whole thing was just sort of like really digging into Adam and Eve. And he's like, so we know skin tones go from this dark to this light. So Adam Neve must have been right here in the middle. We're like, all right.

And he's like, where do the kids come from? He's like, the siblings were definitely fucking. And it used to be okay, but now it's not. But at that time, it was okay. And you're like, this is your whole job. You just go from school to school being like, I've been thinking about this shit a lot. It's also hilarious to be like, they were waging. Dude, what?

They were just grayed the middle. Like, they were just like, just beautiful lights couldn't clean. Gorgeous, tanish. Just good. Ethnically ambiguous. Yeah. I think that's probably what it was. They were the first option when you make a character in a video game,

just sort of right there in the middle. That's so funny. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that is another great question. I wonder what they paid him, too. I wonder what his day rate was, you know? As someone who does gigs now, I'm like, how did he pay for his travel? How much did they pay him?

He goes school to school, just explaining Adam and Eve, kind of. Being like, yo, they were like dark, but also the kind of light. They were all things that I would have probably pitched if I thought about it for an hour. And that seemed to be his job. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so funny. It is funny, too, because people don't know. like the ribs thing

is this only is this only low-key believed growing up like Adam is made from the clay you know God makes some

some mud scratch and then banana bread yeah exactly blast him out there and then Eve is made

from the rib of Adam while he's asleep yoink and then people are like oh man have one less rib right

I thought that I was like sure never checked never went until when right now yeah

too embarrassingly late Just like, oh, we have the same amount? Well, then why the fuck was that? It's like such an easily disprovable thing to try to stand on. The most obvious thing ever to be like, yeah, that's not true. Right? Like, I don't even know where that myth came from.

But that is where the saying, I want my baby bag comes from. That's who you're saying about Lilith. I love my baby bag. Yeah, after Eve. Yeah, it's like, Eve is so wooden, dude. She just lays there. Bring back Lilith, dude. She was athletic.

Eve just eats all day. That's why we got banished from the garden, this freaking lady. She can't get enough of edible arrangements, dude. Like, dude, Adam must have been pissed because he's been with two women, both of which absolutely just spun him around. You know what I mean? Like one girl gets blasted out,

and he's like, okay, well, if the woman's being messes up, that's, she's out of here. And then Eve messes up, and Adam is 100% thinking, like, well, she's going to get banished again. So give me another wife. And then God's like, you guys are both banished. He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, what about Lilith?

Remember that? She got sent out of here because she was... I'm super down and tried, maybe a third. Yeah, yeah. I think, I bet you third time we're going to nail it. Yeah, we got this, God. Come on, it's you and me, right? It's funny how, like, so, yeah, they started just as adults, but they were our kind of childish.

Like, the part where they hear God in the garden and they knew they fucked up so they hide from him is so like, oh, good. It's like exactly how little kids. Yeah. That part I love too is like God starts out as very much like a guy. Like, they're like, they hear him walking around the garden. Yeah, yeah. It feels like over time throughout the whole book, he becomes more of like a, but he starts off as like what? Like, uh, like, uh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, are you familiar with Gnosticism? I've heard it. It would remind me. I'm glad you asked. Yeah. I'm glad you asked out of the blue. Let him cook.

Yeah. You brought it up, but go ahead. No, no, no, no, no. You asked. Basically, Gnosticism is fascinating, okay? And I don't want to, I don't want to ex-communicate myself, okay? I am not a Gnostic, but I do think it's interesting to look into. But basically, the basics of narcissism is a lot of it comes from, like, the apocrypha.

These will be, like, a non-canonical text that were discovered in, like, like Egypt within the last like 150, 200 years. We know a lot about the Gnostics because a lot of early church fathers would talk about them. Okay. And be like, yeah, these guys are on some whack shit, like, get them out of here. But basically, their whole vibe was like a reinterpretation of the scripture, but like kind of in reverse. So they low-key

vibe with Jesus. Okay. But they didn't really vibe with the Old Testament. Okay. And their reason, basically, Nosis is like the Greek word for knowledge. There would be like knowledge, like secret knowledge people. And they were like, salvation is through the knowledge that Jesus brings. It's all about knowledge and wisdom. It's not about faith or doing stuff. It's knowledge.

Interesting. And so their interpretation of basically the whole Old Testament, there's a lot. But the short version is this. Adam and Eve are created by the bad guy. The god of the garden is the bad guy. Oh. That it is a lesser god that basically creates our material reality.

And they're in this garden made and controlled by this bad being. And then a serpent shows up. The serpent is the good guy. And the serpent says, hey, I can get you guys out of here. All you have to do is eat that fruit. And Adam and Eve are like, no, if we eat it, we're going to die. Right. And he goes, you're not going to die.

You're going to know about dying here. You're going to know about everything. You're going to become like him. Yeah. And the Gnostics would read that and be like, yeah, yeah. That's what you want. You want to know the stuff? Exactly.

And that the God of the Old Testament is actually not God at all. That's a lesser God. And that Jesus was trying to also get us out of that. So Jesus and the serpent are actually on the same team. Whoa. And that God of Adam and Eve is the bad guy. Like we got to dead that. Crazy.

You weren't kidding about Marvel DC. That's absolutely like a comic book plot line of like, what if the bad guy was the good guy? Yeah. Superman is actually the anti-hero. Yeah. And you're like, oh. That's wild. That is kind of what it was.

Yeah. And so in the early church, you had like all these different groups of people trying to interpret the scriptures and that's like one of the interpretations that the church pretty quickly kind of quelled. But I get, I believe it.

Yeah, you got to. Yeah, you can't let that run wild, right? That's a little crazy. But you basically interpret the whole Old Testament like that. Yeah.

So it's like, you know, Yahweh God of the Old Testament's like, hey, you got to go kill the Canaanites. Yeah. And the Gnostics would be like, see? That's a bad God. That's, you can't do that. Like, he's committing.

genocide don't don't joshua right don't go kill them or like uh god in the old testament's like i'm a jealous god the gnostics read that and they're like jealous of what another god the greater god the actual consciousness that undergirds all creation well now once again i don't this is not something i subscribe to this is just an interesting sort of deviation lore if you will yeah i love the whole arc of of god how he mellows out from old testament to new reminds me of like a dad or like a basketball coach like my coach specifically when my older brother's brother played for him. He was like a, he like yell. He'd go super hard. He was like, like, very much like, and then like, the time I got him, he'd like had a baby and like chill that a little bit. And then I went back a few years ago and he's just like, he's just like all like like peaceful stuff. I'm like, is that just time? Is that just your just blood is boiling less? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Well, you know after you have a baby, your testosterone drops. Is that right? The more proximity you have with your kid, the lower your tea gets. I will end up with negative testosterone. I don't that be dangerous.

Fully switch up, dude. Estrogen through the roof. Okay, you have two moms now. Congrats, baby. I'm the mom now. Maybe one of my top Bible stories that I think is so funny, you know about the Tower of Babel.

Oh, yeah. The short version. Yeah. The Israelites are, you know, chilling, doing stuff. They're like, yeah, what are we going to do today? We're going to build a skyscraper. They start building this tower super, super tall.

It gets so tall that it's touching the heavens. God is, he's humiliated by this. He thinks of these people. people are trying to become creators greater than him. God is pissed. Yeah. Destroyes the tower. Yeah. And not only that, what does he do?

Changes the language. Scramble them. And scatters them around the world. Yeah. And this is how I was taught ethnicities were created. Right there. That was the moment. That God came down and was like, look, you guys are all Israelites.

But because of what you've done, some of you got to be Chinese now. Have you see those memes? It's like, you will have a very Chinese future ahead of you. That's what happened. It's like, I predict very Chinese future. for you. Is that in regarding the Tower Babel? No, they're just memes, but that's exactly what that's right. That's literally what God said. He's like, yeah, you guys are going to have a very Chinese New Year. And he was like, what? One of my favorite Holy Spokes episodes, my buddy Lawrence

talked about that one. And he's like, the way it almost feels like they were building more like a, like a space laser. They were pointed at heaven. And God was in the control room. And someone was like, sir, they got a lock. He was like, what? Wait, take it out. Hold on. I didn't think they were going to get this close. This is kind of insane. Yeah, they're like, boop, poop, poop. Crazy, right? And God was like, no, no, no, you guys got to be Asian and some y'all are going to be African. Some y'all are going to be Native American. Your story is not as good. And it's just like crazy that that's where that all came from.

Yeah. And that, like, you have always Israelites being like, yeah, I used to have a brother, but, uh, yeah, my brother Ari, he now lives in China. He's Madagascan, I think. I don't know. We don't hear from him much. Yeah, it's crazy. That's like how I was taught that. And then I grew up and I was like, oh, that is wild.

That's crazy. I'll take the metaphorical approach to this. one but like the literal approach is kind of like how it was taught yeah which is just so funny yeah i mean i like maybe that's why maybe that's why a lot of jewish people eat chinese food on christmas because they're just trying to it's a part of that shout out to their cousins who lost in babble yeah yeah exactly that is crazy that that's just that's the that's the punishment dude don't mess with god or you will wake up different and also now with google translate is like is god going to be pissed at that we can just go like this and talk to you

He should be a little. If that's still the rules, I feel like he's going to crack down pretty hard. It's like, what could be, how could he babble us again now that we already have different languages? You know, how would he scatter us again? Probably just no social media. Unplug the internet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you'd probably unplug it.

Oh, I don't know anything. I immediately don't know anything. Yeah, the world would be way better. I wouldn't know how to get back to my friend's place I'm staying out. I would just be here now. Yeah, this is where you live? I'm cooked. You'd be babbled.

And people would be like, yo, why is Scoot you here? be like, dude, he just can't go home. Like, where's you from? Like, when he's living a bus room? I drove from Philly yesterday and I was like, if without a phone, there's no fucking shot I could do this. Even if Buddy and the passenger seat with a map would have been like, fuck, I don't know, dude. Bro, do you think about that?

Like, I'm 29. 31. I never grew up with maps. Yeah, I mean? Like, I never, like, by the time I was driving, I had a phone. Yeah. So I never was like, oh, let me take out and see. Like, so much of what, like, even just like my older friends talk about.

Yeah. is insane to me. Like, I remember I even had a combo of my friend. I was like, if you needed a meet up with your buddy, what would you do? And literally they would tell me, be like, well, you would set up a meeting time. You'd set up a meeting place and you give them 15 minutes. Yeah. If they don't show up between one and 115, then you just go home.

Yeah. That's crazy. I can't believe that that was the world. Professor rules. If they're not there within the first 15 minutes, you can leave class. Crazy. But just for every encounter. And then you're just standing in front of the Guzumis and you're like, well,

I guess he's not coming So I'll just leave Could be dead but I've no way Find out And then you get home and call him You're like what happened He's like dude I don't know

I just Yeah There's bears on the way I got caught by the she bears I got caught by the she bears Okay Are there any other Bible stories That you think of

That is just This is just too good I was just telling my friend About Jonah and the whale I mean that's a pretty famous one But I don't know if people know the whole story of it

I'll try to do the short version Like you did for Babel Yeah go ahead Um God comes to this guy Jonah and says hey, the city of Nineveh is wicked and not in like the Boston sense

like they're evil they're wicked smart It's like they're being assholes You need to go tell that entire city To cut that shit out stop sinning Stop like stealing and murdering and probably sex stuff And Jonah's like Hell no, that's terrifying

They're gonna kill me if I do that I'm gonna be so unpopular As soon as the other way He just like books a flight basically Hops on a boat to Tarshish And or as they say in the veggie tails Tarshish because the carrot is Scottish for some reason.

Shout out of Betty Tales. I truly love Betty Tales. It's fine. I feel the same way about the Bible and Betty Tales where I'm like, I don't like believe it, but there's some fire shit in there, basically. On the way over here, just because of the context of the podcast, I had the pirates who don't do anything stuck in my head. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyways, so he goes to Tarshish, and so he's just on a boat, and then a huge storm breaks out, and all the crew immediately knows, like, God is mad at someone on this boat. This is clearly a God's mad type storm.

Yeah, yeah. So they've thrown everything overboard to try to get lighter. It doesn't help. They're like in big trouble. They're like, all right, cast lots. It's like basically drawn straws or whatever. Figure out who's fault this is. And Jonah gets the short straw.

They're like, sorry, bud, it's clearly God is mad at you. And so they just eat him overboard, gets swallowed by, it's, we always say whale, but I think it may just says, like, fish. I don't know, some sea creature, like, swallows him up. He's in the belly of the way for three days. So it was really funny that people's, like, the images you see online, he's, like, got a little fire going in there. Like, he was like, fucking, ow. What are we doing?

Yeah, as if, like, the whale will be cool with that. Yeah. You know what I mean? He's a smoker. It's fine. Going out the blow hole, like a train. The whale was like, what did I eat? Oh, my God.

I mean, I have so much indigestion. This is crazy. Talk about heartburn, dude. What was in that krill, dude? This wood smoke coming out of my blow hole. It's just piping all the whole waste, man. Yeah, yeah. That's great.

He's chugging along like old Mickey Mouse cartoon. He's like, dude, these people from me, the Judea are spicy. Oh, yeah. That's the last time I ate a guy that throw overboard. That was crazy. So spicy. I said spice level media. And so then, yeah.

And then after three days, I think, I don't remember. Does Jonah, like, repent and be like, never mind, I'll do it. Or does he just, after three days, he just gets, like, thrown up or whatever? Also, the Vededatil version of that is great because they have him go like, phew, like hundreds of feet in the air, land on the beach. Really good bit. And then he does go in and in a fun. He's like, hey, cut that shit out. Classic veggie tails.

Now I'm just breaking out the veggie tails. They always have to represent hardcore Old Testament stuff in a kid-friendly way Which the toughest job in the world Oh my God, it's such a insanely metal book that you're trying to make palatable And so like instead of like, you know, probably like, I don't know, sodomy or whatever God was mad at They're fish slappers in Vegytales. They just slap each other with fish. Which also, Veggie Tales is straight up Monty Python.

Like that's that's, that's, it's the gateway drug to Monty Python. They literally did French guys yelling down from a castle wall. Oh, do they really? verbatim. It's the Josh and the big wall one, the peas. They're basically doing the, like, you know,

I fart on you a second time. Like, they're doing that bit, like exactly, but it's peas. That's so funny. I've never looked at it that way. Yeah, and then my dad showed me Holy Grail, and I was like, this is where it starts.

This is, that's part of the reason I'm going to be a comedian dude. When I saw Holy Grail one's like 10. I was the funniest thing I've ever seen. You thought Monty Python was biting veg tails. I was like, yeah, you're doing the peas thing. Exactly.

That's so funny. Yeah, so then he goes and tells none of it to like cut that shit out. sinning and most of them are like no but a couple of them are they're like okay it's fine so god spares them i think i'm getting some of this wrong but basically god spares them from destruction and jona's pissed he wants to go sit up on a cliff and watch the city get burned like from above and he's like ready for the fireworks and then god doesn't destroy them and jona's pissed and god's like what the fuck do you know the end whoa i think that's the part people don't know is it ends kind of like

no fireworks there's also not a nice big hug it's just sort of like that's just that's it yeah and it was in ninava that's what that's where they were doing the bad stuff yeah i wonder how bad they really could have been yeah dude there's some bad people now by biblical standards it must have been rough dude it's funny like so i'm when we do holy smokes like i tell a story and the guest tells a story and those are the sort of two episodes with that guest and i'm just going chronologically and i'm in Leviticus. So I'm just in the law right now. Whoa. And it really paints an interesting picture of life back then

because the like, you know, everyone knows the Ten Commandments. But then it goes like, you know, the 15th Commandment is like, okay, if a fight breaks out and a pregnant woman gets hit, you got to pay this much for the baby. And it's like, how often was that happening? Pregnant women were just catching bows? Like, that's like the 16th Commandment. They were like, and we know we have to address this. Well, obviously,

you know, we need to get this out of the way. Let's get ahead of it. I know what you're thinking. It feels like a very personal gripe. It feels like the guy that was riding. He was like, well, also, also. And they were like, fine, Ezekiel, we'll get your thing in there, okay? Sorry about your wife.

That is crazy. Yeah. Yeah, the Leviticus is funny because it is just all rules. Yeah. My buddy Lucas has a great joke where he's like, the difference to becoming super Christian and becoming super Jewish is that if you become more Christian, you get more Jesus. But if you become more Jewish, you just get more rules. Yeah.

Which, like, Leviticus is the exemplar. the rules. You just get so many rules. Yep. Which this is going to sound stereotypical, but I do think that holds truth. I do think this is why Jews make such good lawyers. Oh yeah. Hot take. Oh, totally. Like if you look at like Jewish communities throughout all the diaspora have way higher literacy rates, you have dudes just like rabbis going through the Torah all day analyzing it over and over and over debating each other what the actual law means. Oh yeah. That's what the Talmud basically is. It's just like rabbinical dialogue about the law. It's just a giant group chat of dudes, being like, yo, this law means this.

And other people are like, I think it means this. And then another guy being like, dude, you guys completely missed it means this. Yeah. And it's just that for thousands of pages. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, we, some guys like, hey, I'm on trial for a speeding ticket. And they're like, oh, yeah, this is easy. Easy.

Compared to arguing with God. From thousands of years ago. Yeah, we can argue with like a random judge and a ticket cop. This is written in the 50s. That's so. Yeah. I can read that so easily. This is nothing.

It's in English? Yeah. No problem. It's not an ancient Hebrew. Yeah. We got this a million percent. I genuinely think that's why they're the best lawyers because like this is nothing

compared to what we've been through Yeah, I was reading more complicated shit than this one I was six, dude, exactly. I mean, there is like, I mean, this is Sodom and Gomorra with Abraham. Abraham's talking to God and God's like, hey, by the way, Sodom, Gomorrah,

they're getting hit. And Abraham's like, why? And they're like, oh, so wicked, they're fish slavers. Yeah. Which now sounds like an innuendo. Yeah, to all the Jamaicans watching. All right, there was some fish boys,

some batty men. All right, some fish. fish some big old fish and uh and the fish that you're familiar with that slang jamaican's called gay people fish which is very very oh really yeah i did not know that a fish man fish man yeah he's a fish and uh so in a way they were fish lappers okay because that is the claim right yeah so they were out there fish lapping and uh and god basically says if there's 50 good people i won't destroy it deal and abraham's like deal it's fine and then abraham goes home and he's like there's not 50.

No shot. So he goes back and he's like, can you do 40? Yeah. And God goes, yeah. And then he goes back and he goes, can you do 30? And God's like, sure. He's literally negotiating with God, haggling with him. Like he's in like a bizarre.

Like he's like trying to like sell him a rug. He's like, can you do 20? Lowest I can do is 20. Final offer. And they get down to like 12 or something like that. I think for one. It's like even if there's one. I don't even remember the exact number.

It gets down so low. Yeah. And Abraham's like, all right, I think we got him. Yeah, it will be good. Yeah. And then Abraham wakes up that morning. Boom! And he's like, oh, man, I thought there would be two good guys.

This is, what? It's a college duty kill streak. He just is like tactical dude. Yeah. Oh, what? I didn't know. I thought, come on. Like, I could imagine him being like, yeah, y'all, like, there's not one good person.

I did, I did the best I could from Barney. I did everything. I literally did everything. And y'all couldn't have one good person. But yeah, that's just like such a funny, like, yeah, he's literally haggling with God. And there's actual mid-rashable. which is like basically like like within like rabbinical text of like ancient folklore or ancient like Jewish stories like basically where like they analyze scripture and that definition is

probably wrong but you get what I'm saying it's just basically like analysis yeah of like argument is divine communication if Abraham can argue with God we can argue with each other which is why certain cultures love arguing yeah I take I don't know if this is the real or I'm not I'm not an anthropologist or archaeologist, whatever. But I do think there's something to it. If they're like, yeah, if God can argue, then we can argue with each other. It's funny. I remember, like, going over to her friends house and be like, oh, you guys are like an arguing

family. You know? Like, my family is not, like, we're not like, we don't bicker like that. Oh, really? If there's, like, bickering around, it's like someone's, like, someone's, like, someone's, like, someone's, like, actually, like, mad. Whereas, like, some people, like, maybe it's more, like an East Coast, like New York thing, just being, like, constantly.

It's like, oh, what the fuck you doing? Like, like, that kind of shit. Yeah, yeah. But it was always like, like my mom would just take the opposite side. Just because she liked to get into it. Yeah. Like we would just talk about something and she'd be like, nah, I don't know. Yeah.

Like I remember, oh, me and my dad got to a good one about the earth spinning. He was like, tell me this. I fly from Paris to New York, six hours, eight hours, whatever. I fly from New York to Paris, eight hours. If the earth is spinning, shouldn't it be faster one of the ways? And we argued about that. this maybe for like three days. I'm not even joking. I was in the belly of the whale going back and forth. And I was like trying to explain it to him. I was like, dude, and I finally broke through.

Yeah. Because it's one of those things you're like, you know why, but you can't explain it. That's so frustrating. The way I explained it is I was like, let's say you're in a submarine going from America to Europe. Would you expect it to be different? He's like, no, because the water's pushing against you. And I was like, the water's the air, the atmosphere. Yeah. There's atmosphere. It's all moving. It's all moving with the earth. And he's like, All right. Fine. But like, I don't even know if he believed it.

I just think he wanted to argue. And, like, they'll just take the other side. Yeah. And my mom, like, yeah, she would get into some crazy arguments. Oh, yeah. She would just argue on the internet with people. Just, and then she would print him out and show us. Print out of, like, a comment section argument?

And be like, ah, he got me on this. I shouldn't have conceded this point. Once I acknowledge that, like, there's somewhat flexible morality on certain things and he was able to prove that morality is resolute or something like that. And I was like, oh, what? That's funny. I'm so the opposite of that. I will agree with people I straight up don't

just to be friends with them. I'll be like, oh, yeah. And in my head, I'm like, that's fucking stupid. But I'd just rather not. I just like conflict diverse like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like the opposite. She's like, let's do it.

She's about it. Yeah. Yeah, I've tried to do that less. I literally called a friend of mine because he was looking at me and he was like, bro, I just saw this movie was so good, man. Or no, no, no, it wasn't even like that.

It was like this. It was like, we were talking about something completely unrelated and he goes, Oh, it reminds me of that scene in sinners. You've seen that? And I go, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like that scene.

And then we just moved on. And then I walked home and I was like, why did I lie? I just lied to him. I've never seen sinners. And I just agreed. And I literally called and I was like, hey, dude, by the way, I never saw sinners. I got to come clean. And he was like, what?

And I was like, what? And I was like, what? I was like, I just, I'm going to live a more truthful life. Dude, that specific lie, I totally do. Because sometimes I'm like, I can tell you just want to talk about it. You don't need me to see it. To understand. Tell me what you're going to tell me.

So I just greased the wheels. I'm like, for sure, man. Go ahead. What do you want to say about it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't need me for this part, okay? I'm waiting for you to stop talking so I can tell you a hilarious story. Okay.

You're just the filler before you're open for me to tell you my awesome stuff. All right. So let's just get through your bullshit. You're 15. Yeah. I'm going to 30. Yeah, exactly. That's how it has to be.

Another fire non-canonical text, the book of Enoch. Okay. So Enoch's in the Bible. Okay. It doesn't have a major role. But they toss them in there. Specifically, Book of Genesis, says Enoch walked with God. Then he was no more because God took him.

Oh, yeah. And there's like a short list of guys that didn't die, basically. Elijah. Yeah. Jesus. Twins? And, yeah, Enoch. And that's just like one line. They're just like, he just got bleep.

Yep. That's all we know about him. But there is a book of Enoch. Extended universe. Three of them, actually. Directors cut. Exactly. Schneider and basically the book of Enoch in short ancient Jewish text says the world didn't fall apart because humans were just bad but because angels broke the rules a group of angels called the watchers the actual name I mean it's in Hebrew but the actual translation is the watchers which fire bad ass came down to earth slept with human women taught people forbidden knowledge like weapons war tactics astrology magic and magic and

and makeup. Age of Vampires, Cheekodes, makeup. You know, the five deadliest things to humankind, weapons, war, astrology, magic, and makeup. Astrology magic and makeup is just every girl I've ever dated. If that's wrong, I guess I'm not going to heaven. That's so funny, dude. It really is. It's just star signs, lip liner.

And that's crystals. Yeah, you're like, yeah, you are the literal book of Enoch. Like, you are what the watchers told me to be. Be careful. Their children, the Watchers and the human women. They had hybrid children. Is that the Nephilim? Okay, cool.

I call them Ligers, but Nephilim also works. These are violent giants who would devour everything, including humans and turn the world in the chaos. God responds by imprisoning the angels, the watchers, declaring the spirits of the dead giants to become demons. So that's where the demons come from. And then how does he reset everything and wipe everything clean? baptism of the earth The flood? The flood.

So he floods it up and then Enoch himself doesn't die He gets taken to heaven Shown the machinery of the universe Angel prisons, future judgment And then made the reluctant messenger For fallen angels begging for mercy That God flatly denies

Damn Machinery of the universe Is a good metal album name If no one's used that I like that. That's sick, right? Show me the cogs. Yeah, that's crazy.

That's the fire. You back in the engine room. It's like high back there. Shoveling cold. This is where you make mountains? Yeah, dude. That's wild. So that's the book Enoch.

Yeah, that's fire. What's up, guys? We're going to take a break really quick because I got to tell you a story. Imagine you're sitting in your house. It's cold outside. It's a little snowy. And you're like, man, I just want a pinini. So you go and you order it, you know, from a door to ash or something like that.

And it never gets to you. You're looking at the app. You're like, dude, it's been four hours. Where's my pinini? You're calling. No one answers. well, this is a true story that happened. There was a woman, a client that was working as a door dash driver,

and she slipped and fell on an icy walkway outside of a Panera bread and Fort Wayne, Indiana. She breaks her elbow, which leads to surgery and hardware having to get inserted into her arm. She can't work. And originally, you know, she soothed Panera, and Panera was like, okay, we'll give you like 125, but then the good people over at Morgan and Morgan fought for her and got her the million-dollar verdict that she deserved. Yes. If you never heard of them, Morgan Morgan is America's largest injury law firm. Yes, and they're that way for a reason. They've been fighting for the people for over 35 years. Now, I'll be honest, if I ordered, you know, a pinini and the woman gets paid a million bucks because she slipped. I mean, it's a tragic thing to happen, of course, but I deserve a little bit of that. I should get a cut at least, right? I have the woman to order the pinini. If I never ordered that pinini, she never would have slipped, never got a million bucks, which obviously she deserved, you know what I mean? But maybe next time she gets a million and million point one, I can get a cool 100,000 out of that. Regardless, all I'm saying is if you're ever injured and you are looking to get the money that you deserved, the compensation that is entitled to from your injuries, Morgan & Morgan could be the way to go. Hiring the wrong law firm can be disastrous. I mean, you can be locked up in litigate. It's a nightmare. But hiring the right law firm could substantially increase your settlement. And with Morgan and Morgan, it's easy to get started. Their fee is $0 unless they win. That's right. Their fee. Their fee, is free unless they win your case.

You don't pay zero. You pay zero cents unless they win your case. You can visit for the people.com slash gagnon, J-A-G-N-O-N-N, that is F-O-R-The-Peeble. Or dial pound law that's pound 529 from your cell phone. That's for the people.com slash gaggon. Or click the link in the description below. And thank you so much to the good folks over at Morgan and Morgan for sponsoring this program and making this show possible with this paid advertisement.

Well, let's get back to the show. people in the modern era don't interpret this as purely ancient scripture they see this as forbidden knowledge that is actually true so there's low-key people that are like no no this is facts

and that that's what aliens are so the watchers, the angels that came down they did some dastardly stuff there's also like I think Anunnaki which is like a Samarian term for like kind of the same story I think the Anunaki you can correct me if I'm wrong in this Christos but the Anunaki

come from ancient Sumeria in like a myth like one of their like origin myths and it's kind of the same story they're like the Anunnaki came down they were telling the humans all sorts of stuff making tutorials

yeah they were doing tutorials they were doing everything they were James Charles basically is the watchers and then and then they were banging human women which is hilarious

how hot are our women and also how clearly was this written by guys who's like well of course they would because look at our beautiful win. They'd be crazy not to.

Okay, all right, all right. We got the princely offspring, the gods of heaven and earth. Not aliens, it's best. All right, right, sure. You would say that, jip it. Their children are a sky god. They're a class of gods. Keep going on.

It's on the Sumerian tablets. I pick of Gilgamesh. And they serve as judges. They appear in these councils. Oh, I thought they were banging our women. All right. Yeah, Neth one definitely were. Anyway, keep going down

Whatever, I thought they were banging our chicks Which I was actually get pissed off on You know what I mean? These demonic angels They come down here They steal our women They steal our women You know what I mean

They corrupt our people Yeah This is like the first anti-immigration guys Like that's the book of Enoch It's literally like dude They're coming here They're freaking taking our ladies This is what's

Why come on Come on now We can't let this happen We need a firmament An interdimensional We need a firmament To keep out the freaking watchers from banging our women.

Did you get a cross reference? Oh, sick. Okay, the an innocuous god's. Mesopotamian gods never have romantic or sexual relationships with humans. Damn. Well, thank you. Thank you Mesopotamian gods. Learn something new today.

Yeah. Well, I apologize if I let anyone astray. Hopefully no one clicked off the podcast at that moment. They were like, this is what I believe in it. The rest of their life. They're about to get embarrassed at a bar. Yeah, exactly. My apologies.

But the watchers coming down and banging our women. Well, first, they teach them makeup. Yeah. And then they see them and they're like And astrology. Yeah, but like they teach them

how to like blend properly. Yeah. Yeah. Someone's wife came home was talking about how she was a Scorpio and he's like, who you've been talking to?

Who told you that? But the idea that like they come down they teach weapons war. I like that they teach weapons and war separately because they're at first

they brought the weapons and then they studied the blade like a mole ninja. They give them katanas. They give them weapons and then they're like all right,

thank you for the weapons. Appreciate that. And they're like, well, you also need strategy. It's not just going to be a bunch of one v ones. Yeah, yeah, we're going to have a bunch of people. You got to supply them. Yeah, supply lines. It's a whole thing.

You got to feed them. It's like, so there's more to this than just a gun. Yeah. And then astrology also, magic. Which magic is awesome because in my mind it's just card tricks. Gather around. Yeah, everything and like sorcery. But like they're also, the watchers are just David Blaine.

And everyone's running away. He's like, oh. Yo, how'd he do that? Street magic, but he's like, nine feet tall, he's like leaning down, like, pick her car. He just leaves, grabs a woman with him, they're like, whoa, this is, this magician is fucking, dude. Dude, I saw, um, you know, rapper Saw Baby? No.

It's really good. I saw him in Chicago, and at the end, he was like, we bring some girls up on stage. You just pick some ladies, and they come up, do the last song, and they're like, all right, we're out. And then they leave, and the ladies are just there, and they'd been, like, dancing and, like, film his stuff. And then they're like, and then he just follow him off stage. And my friend goes, he took our best bitching. He just left.

with them. He's like, all right, come on. And then he left, and then they just also left. And then it's like, where'd they go? That's so slick. They were never seen again. That was like, yeah, there's some guys in the audience like, babe, babe, do I give VIP? Get a wristband. Wait, hold on. Sir. Put my name on the list. Hey, he's the watchers, dude. He's the OG watchers. Totally, dude. That is crazy. But yeah, this is, and then the Nep phlegm are just also hilarious. Because they get destroyed, but it's not really their fault. Because the Nephloon were just, what, they're getting punished for the sins of their

fathers. Yeah, they were just born this way as from, yeah. They were just born this way. That's all it is. I'm just, yeah, I'm sorry my dad's a demon or angel or whatever. I'm sorry my mom's just like the hottest one ever. Oh, my bad. Yeah. Sorry I'm a gorgeous mixed-raged queen. That's not my fault.

Exactly, dude. You hate me because I'm beautiful. Yeah, like what? And then they just get destroyed in a flood? Oh, my bad. Yeah. What do you think about? Have you heard about like a lot of different cultures have a flood narrative? Of course. I mean, I feel like that's right in your,

it's right at your wheelhouse. Everyone's got one. Yeah, it's pretty cool. I don't know. I'll be honest. I like, I like, I like Noah's.

I think, I think ours. It's one of the best. It's probably one of the best. Yeah. I mean, the first part that is great is that Noah's building this boat and just getting chirped.

Like off rip. Yeah. He's just getting absolutely destroyed. A bunch of Eagles fans. Like, you fucking dickhead. What are you doing? Go birds.

Literally. trying to save the birds, first of all. He's just wearing like a Chief's jersey outside, like, Lincoln. You know what I mean? Outside the link. And all these birds fans, just like, look at this fucking idiot. Look at this pussy. And he's just like, bro, you don't even understand.

So he's building the boat. Doesn't really ask for a follow-up, which is hilarious. And then, yeah, he's just getting absolutely chirped. And in the Bible, it never was like, and, you know, these guys are being rude. Or like, it doesn't ever give context. It's just like people are coming by chirping him. Because everyone in the time knows. They're like, oh, yeah, that's how we'd be.

we'd be chirping. I mean, we'd just be talking shit. If your buddy started building a big boat, you roast him a little bit. Yeah. What are you doing, man?

If my friend buys a boat, I'll just roast him. Yeah, like, huge waste of money, dude. Dude, we live in New York. You're not going to use it that as much as a thing. You're never going to use it.

He's like, no, no, no, I got a dock for it. I put it up on the trailer. Like, we're going to take it out every day this summer. I'm telling you, bro. And then he never takes it out. Like, if someone came by and was roast

and no, like, bro, that's a money pit. Yeah. You gotta get I don't you can register that thing, get stickers Yeah, and you have wildlife and game commission In fall It's like, oh yeah Especially, oh, you're taking animals on the boat

The permits to get two of every animal on earth Gotta be crazy Insane And then on top of that I like it doesn't I don't think really specify Two of how many animals Right

Just as every Every? Which is like a really interesting window Into how many animals They thought there were Yeah How many animals are there So fucking many,

If you count bugs, so many. Did he get the bugs? Yeah, was there like a bug basement where they were all this? I knew you guys only lived two weeks, but like, too, too, too, too, too, too. Like, how did that work? And also fish? Fish were fine. They had the whole world for a spell there.

You know fish passed down stories like, you know, one time we ran this whole shit. It was awesome. It was fucking tight, dude. I was in Texas. Yo. I was a fish in Texas. It was sick. But like, why is that never talked about?

Yeah. Like, hey, we got to destroy everything. We got to clean up the world. And it was like, the fish. And he's like, the fish have done nothing. Okay? We're actually trying to get rid of the fish slappers. All right?

That's actually the reason we're doing this, all right? There's too many freaking fish slappers. Okay. The estimates are 1,000 to 1,400 land animals, kinds, totaling potentially 7,000 individual animals. Yeah. Two of every unclean animal. Oh, and they had that whole distinction, too, yeah.

Yeah, seven total. Focus on broader kinds, dogs, bears. Not specific. All right. Yeah. I'm glad that they didn't get too white. two white boy about it, be like, okay, we're gonna have

two Doshans, a schnauzer. We obviously need to chow-chow. Okay, all right. And usually excludes fish and sea creatures, which is hilarious.

Yeah. Maybe that's why fish are so weird. They didn't get that edit to their gene pool at the arc. They were still just grab bag or whatever. Exactly.

Yeah. Which, I don't know. It's hard to have sympathy for fish in this case. I think it's funny when people like fish are so stinky. It's like, yeah,

put them in the air, but they're not supposed to be there. I bet we fucking stink under water to them. They're not supposed to be there. Fish like, oh my God, smells humany. Yeah, try to smell a fish under water. They're fine. It's fine. Never a problem.

Yeah. Permanent bet. Yeah, exactly. That's a good point. Also, not every fish smells. I bet you a dolphin doesn't smell. I don't know what a dolphin. Dude, have you seen the drunk history episode about the scientists that were like giving LSD to dolphins?

No. Dude, there was a study in the 60s where they started giving LSD to dolphins because they were like, let's give this to everything and see what happened. 60s were awesome. But then, like, they realized the dolphins were depressed because they were, like, lonely or whatever. And one thing led to another, and then the scientists would jack off the dolphins so that they'd, like, I don't know, relax or whatever. What? But then when called wind of this, he's like, hey, you're making science look bad.

Stop jacking off the dolphins. They're like, okay. And then the dolphins got super depressed because they lost their handjob privileges. And they would just sink to the bottom of the tank, like, no jerk off anymore. And they got really sad. Why was Sagan cockpollocking, or is it even cockpocking? Clam slamming. Why was he clam slamming him?

Why wasn't he letting him get the rub? He said Finn to the fin action. Yeah, why didn't he let him get the OTPHJ? That's what the dolphins were saying about it. Give me a break. That's wild. I think you can let him bust. It's for science.

It's a little weird. I guess I would have to hook him up with the fleshy. I don't think you need to be out there going actual hand-to-hand on them. Yeah. You know what I mean? I got a little too, yeah. Because that is a little. Yeah, literally free willy, dude.

Because I don't know how you like even, I don't know how you even get a dolphin or like consent like that, you know? Dolphins are not big on consent historically. They're like famously like. Infamous. They're, yeah, they're bad guys. Yeah. Dolphins are straight up mean and evil. Yeah.

Like we think it was as cute as hell, but they're like straight up. Where'd they learn that from though? The scientists probably, yeah. They were hanging up with Florida people. Okay, hold on. Dude, really? You're going to say that when I'm right freaking here? The audacity.

So now we got Omaha and Florida. Nothing wrong with Florida, okay? Not all of us. We respect dolphins, give them their space. Anyway, so that's Noah. He basically builds this whole thing. Everything, you know, gets all, uh, gets all soaking wet. The whole world gets all full of water.

What happens to all the water? Yeah. Freezes? I remember they see something about where it comes from originally. Like he opened up the water vault or whatever. We opened up the, I forget how they phrase it. But like, they talk about where it comes from originally, but they don't say where it goes. Yeah.

So I guess we're supposed to. assume like underground or evaporation or something you have no idea yeah i guess maybe it's freezes and that's what all the icebergs are that'd be cool yeah why not and then it freezes up he releases all the animals so lets it rip yeah dude and this is also another great uh holy smoke's episode is what happens right after when he finally gets back on land he does the sacrifice he's supposed to and then he immediately plants a vineyard and gets as drunk as he can and passes out naked in his tent yeah which is like it's like talk about like waiting for the freaking weekend, dude. He's been on a boat for

40 days with his immediate family and in-laws, and every animal on earth just shoveling dung and getting like squawked at my birds. Not to mention you were just building a boat for six months. That too. Yeah, I mean. Everyone, all the other humans that he knew are now dead. He's been at sea. He's been

seasick, whatever, and he's like, as soon as I fucking touch earth, I'm planting the determination of a man. Doesn't he get in trouble for that? Yeah, because then he's like, it's like indecent. He's like his his nudity is exposed and one of his sons goes in sees it goes and tells his bros and then his bros back in with a blanket so they don't see his like shame or whatever and like put it on him and then when uh when no wakes up he's pissed at the son that saw it and didn't cover him up and he curses that kid for eternity but the bit we had noise folks is that just like he was just

pissed because he saw his like tiny hungover dick yeah of course no fair yeah dude it was freezing cold bro so cold like what Like, that was not my best representation. You know. Doesn't count. Yeah, it doesn't count at all. Cover me up. Do me a solid.

Literally. Like, just help me out. Like, that is, I mean, I just, I've been there. You know what I mean? Like, you just get tired. You know what I mean? I'm gonna get faded and just knock out on the couch right here. Yeah.

You know what did he do really? Yeah. If anyone deserves a drink, the guy just saved every animal on Earth. Human kind. Steve Irwin deserved a drink. Yeah. He helped animals. You think he ever just got, like, he's at a bar just like,

you know, it's fucked up about gayness. I have to pretend to like these fucking animal These fucking gators He's like, can I tell you secret? I fucking hey, crying it up He just hammered No one will believe you You know the most beautiful animal of all

It's humans It's really us It's my wife Sometimes it's you He's looking at the bartender He's like, I'm kind of animal you you start to see even peopeless animals after a while

Steve's going through it over there that we gotta cut them off yeah if anyone is like that wholesome like picturing them as like going through it at a bar it's like him and Mr. Rogers and Bob Ross just like just airing all their grievances

at a bar they're fucking with my neighborhood who's they mister he's like just saying just saying the neighborhood was a lot different before Yeah, and Bob Ross is like, the trees are happy, but I'm not.

He's just high for sure. Oh, no. Rob Ross is absolutely baked. Yeah, dude. 100%. It's impossible to picture him angry. Out of those three, I just really can't. He's just so calming.

I can't believe if you never made that painting. He's like, we're just going to draw some happy little trees here. It's just a weed plant. How happy this tree is. Oh, whoops. Oh, it's kind of more like a bush. Oh, interesting. Got some little nuggets for some reason?

Yeah, a happy little. pre-roll. Like, that's dank. We love that. This shit's fire. No, no, free Moses. No, free Noah. I think Noah's. No, I did nothing wrong.

He did nothing wrong, dude. Like, I can't have a fucking beer. Did you hear, did you see the story? I don't even really know the, the conclusion of this, but there's a dude that was ordering on like DoorDash or Uber Eats or something, stuff out of food delivery. And he's like hammered,

orders, knocks out. And then the girl that's delivering the food, like she walks up to the door and the door is like cracked open or something. Like it's not fully shut. And so she pushes the door open. And the dude that ordered the food

is just butt naked on the couch, knocked out. Noah style. Noah style. And she walks in and goes, this is absurd, reports him, films him, puts it on the internet. And then she gets in trouble.

Probably rightfully so. Again, I don't know the full context of this. But she claims that she was essayed. Oh, like he had like set it up. Yeah. But everyone is like, dude, no, she, like he didn't want this to happen. He was. Funniest part from the waist down, he was Winnie the Pooh in it, too.

That's not a plan. If he was planning on like trying to like seduce her, that's not how you do it. You don't do T-shirt and then nothing. And he was just not, he was unconscious, which is, he might be the first guy to ever be accused of sexual misconduct while fully unconscious. He was just sleeping. Nebraska hoodie up top, nothing below. I'm trying to just make all my local references the same, so I only make one city mad at me. Tuscaloosa, Gator's hoodie up top, nothing down there.

He just hammered it. You won't talk about the fucking gaitis. It's like, only my legs are hot. These wings will be here any minute. And then imagine he wakes up, no food. Phone's blowing up. Phone's blown up. We're like, yo, we just saw you online, dong out.

And he was like, no. And they were like, yeah, dude, it was. I got so pissed at Lane Kiff and I whipped my pants off. Then I got sleepy. I was so mad. And then he's just absolutely shriveled, hammered on the couch. What an insane way to wake up. I've woken him hung over.

I've never woken him hung over and been on the internet naked. That is crazy. So I don't know really what happened with this. If we got this totally wrong, I apologize to the victims, whoever they are. But also shout out to this dude for whatever he's going through. Oh, man. What an insane life. Okay.

So any other Bible stories you want to talk? John. I mean, I remember one time when I was in high school, a pretty small church. So, like, there's only one other guy in my age. And our youth pastor was like, let's do like a Bible stove, immediate coffee shop. Like, what book do you want to do? And my buddy, he was like, Revelation. And I'm like, okay. So then like, God bless this pastor, do you? Because he had to sit there and be like, well, we don't really know what this is to about all of it. Because Revelations, those you don't know. Who knows? It's craziest one. Yeah. Is it, did Paul write Revelations? Who wrote? Paul of Patmos. Is that different from? No, John, John, John, John, John wrote.

Who wrote? Yeah, good question. John of Patmos. Is that different from Gospel of John, John? They think it's the same John, but he was an exile. Okay. On the Greek island of Patmos. Okay.

Can we get a fact check on this? Because I'm kind of riffing, but I feel, I'm gone to my head, I'm saying John. Okay. Because whoever it is. Okay. Let's go. Aegean, dude. Nice.

Full points. So did he write any other Bible books? People think that it's the same John. Okay. But you can't confirm it. Because what I love about it is the idea. the idea that he wrote like a quote unquote normal Bible book and then at the end of his career he was like

fuck it and then he was like swords and demons in feet and broths and blood in horses and like he just like like you know it's like when a novelist like fully like fucking I'm sick of this grounded shit let's fucking go who's done that there must be people right where like they start their career and they're like very grounded and just like yeah let's just get the facts

and then they're some film director who started off doing kind of normal stuff and then by the end it was like full art house because that's what it feels like He was just like he did his like publishers deal and he wrote the books that would sell and be accessible. And then he was like, I'm doing something crazy. This one's for me. This is one. That's what it feels like.

It's one for me. But it's a good lesson for all writers out there that Revelation is one of the most famous books. True. And that by pursuing what he truly loved, he got the most accessible. He's like, this is a line of I have, not to quote myself, but it's my target audience is me. That one of my rap songs. I was like, this is, yeah, this is one for daddy. Yes.

And it's crazy. I mean, I don't know. What's your favorite part? of Revelation, there's so many crazy things in there. I mean, I mean, seeing the, I mean, there's dragons. Straight up. Dragons getting thrown at the lake of fire. Yeah.

It's just bars. That's awesome. They're describing the angels. I love how technically heaven is described where they're like, all right, you got like a room, you got like all the dudes in thrones, and then there's pillars and then like a bowl below them, but there's seven bowls. There's a lot of wing and eye counting. Yeah, this one is three wings and six eyes.

And you're like, okay, right? Yeah, but he's like being super. specific, like, as if that's the part people aren't going to believe. Like, he's like, they're like, no, I'm going to go into detail. I'm telling you, there were 10 wings, and then there was 14 bowls, and then 10 flutes.

It's like a wingstop order. It's like, let's do 10, dry rub. Exactly. Is it actually, no, let me go barbecue. Let me see what happened. Can you have it? If I got cheesy sticks, would you guys have some? What's the minimum I can order? Because I don't want, like, a whole

thing. But it is like, yeah, I mean, it reads like a dream. Yeah. Like the second someone told me like, oh yeah, this was like a revelation. That's why it's the revelation of John. It's not revelations. It's one singular revelation that John experienced.

And I'm like, oh, yeah, this is how my dream sounds. Dreams are, yeah, like the way there's sort of not a transition from stuff, like stuff just kind of keeps happening. And you're like, when did we get to here? And then I saw this and then I saw this. Yes. Oh, yeah. You got 24 elders, four living creatures. Yeah.

Lion, ox, human, eagle. And they're all in the thrones. Then you've got the scroll and the lamb and the seven. seals, not the animal. For horsemen. I know you thought seven seals like there was actual like art, art. SeaWorld is definitely in hell. There's seven seals.

There were dolphins with tattered paths. Steve Irwin was there with his crocodiles hammered at the bar. A bunch of rock hard dolphins. Yes. Beast Dragon and the Antichrist. Of course. I mean, Mark of the Beast. I mean, have you heard the analysis of like the Mark of the Beast 666?

Like what this comes from? No. Apparently, and this is what scholars would say, they wouldn't say it the way I'll say it, but this is more or less what they say, is that 666 is an interpretation, or basically like they're trying to allude to Nero, the current emperor of Rome.

And they're describing him because Nero is persecuting Christians at the time. Why was that his like, area code? Like he's in rat, 666, and then he like starts spinning. They knew who they're talking about, you know what I mean? No, it was basically Gimotria is a, so within Jewish literature, there are like 30 something ways to interpret scripture. There's like literal, metaphorical, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. One of the ways is Gammahtra, which is basically assigning a number to each letter.

And then by looking at it through the numbers. and so Nero's name in like the Hebrew Gamutri analysis is 666 Or something to that effect Yeah something like that Cres does you oh it's on the train Da Vinci code type she added in it. Yeah Emperor Nero stems from Gamitria ancient practice signing a miracle

Valies to letters Neuro Caesar when spelled in Hebrew it adds up to 666 suggesting that he was The persecuted beastly Roman ruler a type of antichrist known for his intense persecution of Christians while some major trips shows 616 616 shout out Which is what some of the other copied manuscripts

of the revelation of John Say. They say the Mark of the Beast will be 616, which is also Nero's name. The core idea is that Nero represented the oppressive Roman power persecuting early Christians. So everyone that's reading it being like, dude, 666, that's obviously Ozzy Osbourne or whatever.

They're like, oh, that's Neurrelink or whatever. Maybe it is. I'm not going to take a hard line on this, but it's almost certainly also Nero. Yeah. Which once you read it like that, you're like, Oh. Yeah. We're kind of far. That's the guy

would occasionally throw Christians to the lions, right? Yeah, I think so. Nero was, I was wondering about the logistics of that. Like, is it kind of like

in Star Wars episode six there's like the rancor handler who cries when it dies? You know, in Jabba's Palace when they send him down to that big monster thing, when he gets crushed by the gate, the guy comes out like,

oh man, my guy. Like, I'm sure there was like that guy but for the lions in the Coliseum. He's like, these are my babies. Like, do your thing. And then they go.

Now, and in the interest of being consistent. I haven't seen Star Wars. At all? No. Wow. But the old me would have been like, yeah, of course. See, that's nice.

I gave you an opportunity to do that. To be honest. I'm proud of you. I also am the person that people get furious at for how many things I haven't seen. Really? Oh, totally, man. Are we the same? Yeah, yeah, dude.

Look at us. What's funny is like I, musically, like, the first things I was listening to was Christian rap, which is like now just like a rapper. Lecrae, the first he ever bought was the human emergency by the cross movement, which is basically Christian Wu-Tang. Grits, you probably have a other song, Ua. They're basically Christian Outcast, it's two dudes from Atlanta.

Sick. But they're kind of both doing big boy, because who can do Andre 300? Yeah, I know, you're not going to be three stars. Can't be done. But Grit stands for a grammatical revolution in the spirit. Shilin, Lucre, Tadashi, all these Christian.

And I was like, I like something about this. I remember DC Talk? No. They were kind of like a boy band, but Christian. And so then one of their people went solo, this guy Toby Mac who became sort of like a pop Christian. Oh, yeah, yeah, I know, Tom. My first concert ever was Toby Mac and Family Force 5 at Liberty University, which is just like, Christian.

You know what I mean? But I remember this DC talk, because they kind of had like an in sync thing going on. But I remember listening on my CD player Walkman in the back of the car, the song called I don't want it, which is the chorus is just, I don't want it. You're sex for now. It's about abstinence until marriage. But they're like being like really young and like sexy. That's awesome. I don't want it.

They're like hitting moves and shit. It's about abstinence. That's so funny. But also, for now is great. For now. Because they're basically saying, I definitely do want it. I want it so badly. Clearly we're going to.

A later is win. Not now. It's just the opposite of every pop song ever. Every pop song is like, I want your body right now. Post-haste. They're just like at some point. In the future, when I speak to your parents. It's going to be a whole thing.

We're going to spend $30,000 on a ceremony. You're going to be mad at me. We're going to eat cakes before and we're going to taste a little. And then that we're going to find out my dick is the wrong shape for your vagina and it's never going to work. You have a disorder where it's not really moistened the right way, but we didn't all really know the details because neither of us were the experienced. We will have a kid and then maybe get divorced. I wonder about that sometimes, dude. If you really wait until marriage, like what about wedding night?

You just find out like just square peg round hole. Like it's just straight up not like going to fit. Like you're just like, you're cooked, I guess. Yeah. I mean, how often does that happen? It's like, I'm sure the person's like, we'll find a way. but like I can see a super Christian guy

being like well uh your mouth or no I can't come on we do have to have kids somehow but I'll figure it out we can practice

for time you know what I mean how would you act like a sea world trainer and just give me a little straw yeah also good luck having any fun at your wedding knowing you're about to have sex for the first time later that night

while like maybe the most tired you've ever been because you just did a whole wedding like that can't be good yeah there's no way that's good that amount of pressure on it you were just talking like everyone's grandma. You just saw her.

Hours before. Like moments before. It's the only party where everyone there knows you two are specifically about to go have sex. Yeah.

And it's all of your family. So strange. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you've heard like the old like marriage consummation ceremonies. Like what? This was like back in like medieval times

where like they would like take out the sheets and they would hold the sheets up. Afterwards? And they'd be like, they did it! Because that's when the marriage is confirmed. That's when it's actually. created.

You just hear like, ugh, and it's like, I now pronounce you. But like, apparently back in the day, like, the parents would be there sometimes, like, because they had to confirm a few things. One, like, virginity, and then two, that it was actually consummate. There's a ref just like

15-yard penalty. Hold on. She didn't even spit on it. Hold on it. But yeah, these betting ceremonies hands to the face. I'm trying to think of a sexual football, but. Off sides he busted immediately That's a false start Public witnessing

In the display of bloodstained sheets Is proof of blood Oh God And the validity of the marriage Oh no Often led to shame or improvisation Well hey we've all been there What does that mean?

Like I guess if they need to see blood You're like I mean I don't always bleed I don't know They did it The blood smells a lot Not like ketchup, but they are married, technically speaking. I mean, that is hilarious, that shame or improv.

Another great name for a troupe that you're going to be starting soon. Those go hand in hand, man. It's a very shameful practice. Who's the greatest Christian band that no one knows is Christian? Oh, man. I mean, I guess people probably know Switchfoot is Christian, but they're pretty good. They're great. Creed is right there.

Technically Christian. Yeah. POD. Yeah, dude, POD. I remember listening to POD on the way to play paintball for the first time. I was like, there's like some older guys in my youth group and I was like in seventh grade and the POD song I had the lyrics

like, are you willing to die? And I was like, are we about to fucking die? I've never done payball. It feels like we're about to like drop out of a helicopter. Go, go, go, go. I would argue, you could say you too. Yeah, yeah, Bono is technically about it. And then another one, Paramore.

Oh, yeah, that makes sense. If you consider it the Paramour's first album. Yeah. Halo Williams. Yeah. Was super Christian. Yeah. So I think that counts.

There you go. I think OG Paramoor might be the greatest. Oh, Fly Leaf. Remember a Fly Leaf? No. Oh, audio adrenaline was? That makes sense. That's why they got into my...

Dude, fly... Oh, I saw Reliant K. Relyan K. Yeah, Sadie Hawkins' dance. They did a copy of a... Or a cover of Pirates who don't do anything. That's sick. It's a good version, actually. Yeah.

Oh, casting crowns. Mm-hmm. Which, very similar to the counting crows, the casting crow. Yeah, and also... Isn't there third something? Third-eyed... It's not third-eyed blind, but... I'm thinking of jars of clay also.

That's clearly Christian, you can just tell. Jars of clay? Jars of clay was another Christian band. Oh, yeah. Yeah, there's kind of some bangers in here. And I think if you count like gospel singers. Oh, yeah, gospel fucking rips, dude. Like, I think you have to count those as Christian.

Yeah. Like, who was the famous gospel guy? I came over for a friend of him, Kirk. Yeah. Let me see. Kirk Franklin. Yeah. Kirk Franklin.

Like, that's a Christian band. Totally. They're singing, yeah, gospel music. Right? Yeah. I think we got them also. Whatever you need Oh 21 pilots

Oh We're counting 21 pilots as a Christian group That's a big get for y'all Yeah I'm taking that dude 100% Okay so you Heaven could put together an I-eat festival

From this from this batch Right It'd be absolutely blown out of the water By a secular No like come on come on Oh my god Dude the ship prince is playing in hell right now Respectfully is amazing

Jimmy Hendrix guitar is on fire because But the heaven concert will be good Yeah and like safe Like everyone Yeah It's funny I saw you know My college dry campus

Most people like live on campus Like a lot of you know Kind of good kids or whatever But we get pretty good bands Like we had head and heart Kind of like folk group or whatever And between songs it was just like Dead silent even though there's like a thousand people in there

And it seems like yeah we're kind of not used to being so quiet and someone in the back went we're all sober banger absolute banger that's so funny dude i toured a very christian college which one weaton oh yeah weton college i toured i was going to go play soccer there and uh i mean i didn't go for many reasons

one of the main reasons was uh the day i visited it was the temperature was one that'll do it one just one uh we have a degree yeah and then they're like it's twice as cool tomorrow I was like, half? I was like, what is it? What does that mean?

I was like, I don't even understand. Which is a real question. If it's zero degrees outside and it's twice as cold tomorrow. Mathematically. What's zero times two? Yeah. It's the same temperature?

Is this what it is forever? It's 10 times it's cold tomorrow. It's colder, but it's still zero. Anyway, not the point. But I went and visited and, and they were like, yeah, we kind of, you know, we're a Christian college,

like, we get down. I was like, really? And they were like, yeah, we get after it. And I was like, what do you mean? And he was like, I'll show you. And we went to like this off-campus house in the snow, so cold, miserable. And we pull up to the house and the guy's like, yo, yo, yo, yeah, yeah, what's up? And they're like, no, this is like one of the recruits.

Like, he might be coming here. And they were like, all right, bet. And they pull out, like, a little bottle of Jack Daniels. Like, you want some? And I was like, sure. And then we all just kind of, like, sat around, like, me and three dudes and, like, discussed, like, linguistics. He was like. You know where the word sabotage comes from?

I was like, all right. These guys party. And then we just like, which for the record, my ideal party. Yeah. It's just like drinking whiskey and talking about dumb language shit. But that was the entire evening. Yeah. And they were like, yeah, you know, we're not as buttoned up as people.

Yeah. And I was like, okay. Let's talk. Let's talk etymology. Exactly, dude. We were getting into it. Which, yeah, it is. Yeah, sabotage is literally the guys that would throw their clogs into like the machines to make

them stop working during the Industrial Revolution. Oh, wow, okay. I learned this off of half glass of Jack Daniels. Yeah, yeah, if you remember it right, dude, you're about it. I heard about some of my friends went to Liberty with giant Christian college. If people don't know, then apparently because they're so, like, cracked down drinking so hard, they've accidentally created a culture of pills. They just do pills instead, which is way worse.

That's a good lesson. Yeah. That's a good lesson. Yeah. Yeah, I don't. Don't send him to a worse loophole. Yeah, I mean, that's a. I'll keep that in mind.

I'm going to get my kid drunk. I'll be like, just do this. Stay off the oxy. Just do the standard bad thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't need perks, all right. This will get you like 90% of the way and you'll be fine. Just don't order DoorDash.

Stay awake the whole time. You know, don't fall asleep in the tent. And if you do, don't let your kids cover you up, okay? These are the lessons. These are the lessons. These are the next generation. Exactly. Well, Scoochie Bootsie.

Thank you so much. Thanks for having me, brother. This is a blast. This is a wonderful time. Where can the people find you? Scoochy Bootsie on Instagram S-C-O-C-H-I-E underscore B-O-C-H-I-E

My music's eye everywhere, all platforms, YouTube, we got music videos come see me on tour. I'll be on tour all of March doing sort of down the middle of the country and then through Texas out to the West Coast come see me rap, we're really good live and follow my podcast.

Holy Smoke's Pod it's YouTube and Spotify and Apple Podcasts every Monday. God bless you, brother. Thank you so much. As always, it's been another episode of Camp. Thank you for joining me in the tent. Every single week we do this kind of thing.

We talk to the most interesting people on the planet. We get into all sorts of crazy wormholes, discuss the most interesting controversial stories from all over, from all time forever. If you like this channel, please subscribe. It really helps us. And also, we have history camp. If you like going into history of wormholes,

we have religion camp where we talk about all things divine. And, of course, you can see me on the road, Mark Gagnon live. I cannot wait to see you guys at the shows for one singular hour of stand-up comedy. No more, no less. Thank you guys so much. And, of course, thank you, Scoochie Booch. Thank you.

See you next time. What's up, people? We're going to take a break real quick, because this episode is sponsored by me. Yes. Camp R&D. That is the merch. That is the threads that we'd be wearing around here at the campsite. And we got all sorts of cool stuff. My buddy Zach just cooked up a sick UFO collection. You can go check it out there at Camp R&D.

I really appreciate you guys. We have so many people that came through for the holidays and picked up their threads. It's awesome. We got hats, hoodies, t-shirts, all that. And if you're still listening to this and you didn't skip through, congrats. You got a promo code, all right? What do we do, Chris? That's 5%. More? How much? Five more?

10%. 10% final offer You won't go higher You tell me what do we give them 12% All right we're doing 12% off Should we go more Hey

It's your world I'm just living in it Let's round up 10% No 15% If you use the promo code Camp 15 You're going to be getting 15% off

Yes I think we should also do Camp 10 Just if someone doesn't want to take too much Camp 10 Or Camp 15 Those are the only two that are available. And then maybe we send a little something extra to the ones that do 10. If you do Camp 10, maybe there's something extra, no promises, but it's an interesting experiment.

I'm just am curious to see what you guys do. Camp 10 or Camp 15 at Camp R&D when you check out, you're going to be getting those discounts. Thank you so much for rocking with us and wearing the threads. It keeps the lights on. It keeps the fire burning.