Camp Gagnon - Tragedy, Crime and Viral Music Superstardom | The HonestAv Story

Episode Date: May 14, 2025

What's good people, we got Honestav, an extremely talented song writer & musician from Missouri, in the tent today. We talk about Honestav's humble beginnings, where he came from, growing up in a house with 11 people (15 being the most), being in an environment with dr*gs at a young age, how Honestav blew up and other interesting stories...WELCOME TO CAMP 🏕️!Shoutout to our sponsors: Cymbiotika, Morgan & Morgan and BluechewGo to https://partners.cymbiotika.com/CAMP for 20% off your order + free shipping👕🧢 GET YOUR CAMP DRIP HERE: https://campgoods.co/🏕️ Get Today In History Email Here (Free): https://camp.beehiiv.com/🎟️ 🎫 Comedy Tour Tickets Here: https://markgagnonlive.comTimestamps:0:00 Intro & Honestav’s Early Life12:18 Is Mark OLD? + Puerto Rican Haircut17:42 Growing Up In a Racist Town22:03 Getting Into Fights As a Kid25:51 Small Town Cops + Trouble As a Kid33:31 Smoking Grapevine + Relationship With Dad40:09 Selling 1,000Ib Of Weed + Getting Robbed54:28 How Honestav Dealt With His Brothers Passing1:08:02 Honestav’s Music Career1:20:21 Honestav’s Huddle Stats1:27:40 Pressure of Comedy1:29:24 First Shows + Taking Care of Family1:36:12 Honestav’s Bikes + Going To Casino1:41:34 Going From Rags To Riches1:41:01 What Is Success To Honestav?1:56:28 Where Did The Name ‘Honestav’ Come From?

This is Honest Ave. Hi questions. Hi questions. This is where we answer questions. Hi. He is one of the most exciting artists that I've had the pleasure of meeting recently. He blew up on TikTok with 1.8 million followers, dropped an EP that went viral, and now he's on a sold-out tour across America.

This dude's story is fascinating. And today, look, we just sit in this tent and chop it up. It's an amazing hang. Ave is super funny. He actually blew up making comedy videos that then turned into him putting putting out his music and being more vulnerable. And he breaks down the entire process, how he blew up, where he came from, his humble beginnings, living in Missouri, and a house with like 11 people surrounded by drugs and violence. And it even tells us, like, funny stories of just growing up,

the kind of trouble that him and his friends used to get into. And eventually, how he made it out, got a record deal, and is living the American dream. If you're not familiar with him, I know we don't do a lot of music episodes, but this one is worth your time. Come hang out with us in the tent and enjoy the conversation with Honest Ave. So, Sit back, relax, and welcome to camp. I feel you got a lot of stories growing up in Missouri. Mad stories. Like, what was the...

Bring me back to, like, where you grew up, explain where you lived. Yeah. Like, what is the environment when you're like five years old? Okay, when I'm like five years old, my parents had just got divorced. My parents got divorced when I was four, so I don't really remember anything before

than being divorced. Five years old is probably some of my first memories. What do your parents like? What does your mom do? What does your dad do? My mom, at that time? Yeah. Yeah, my mom is like, she sells dope and she's like, uh, uh, she's like a heavy crack addict.

Whoa. And she's like, um, she had, like, left my dad because she had, like, cheated on him and like, she had, like, cheated on my dad and, um, had, like, a baby, like, out of wedlock or whatever you want to call it. And then she, and then I'm the makeup baby. And, and so they kind of, like, got, like, together and, like, had me. And then, like, shortly after I was born, they, like, split again. And my mom was, like, a heavy crack user.

As opposed to like a casual, as opposed to like a mild. Like, I mean? Yeah, yeah, dude, no, no. I feel like if you're doing. Bro, I remember being at the creek and I'm like swimming. I probably was like seven, eight years old. I don't know. And all of a sudden, like, boom, black trucks are pulling up at the creek like,

and like, they're like jumping out and they're like yelling at my mom. And they like go to my mom's car and like bust her truck open. And it's like, they're like raiding her. And she like went to the feds at night. Whoa. And I was like a little seven-year-old kid just like standing there like, wait, I went home with it. boyfriend. What?

So my mom was like in mad abusive relationships, all the cliche shit of like, you know, like the tweaker shit, you know? Yeah. But, you know, I loved her, she was cool still. It was all good.

I still fuck her crackheads to this day. I love, I love me and get cracket there. You ever, you ever dated a cracket? Have I dated one? Yeah. No, I really only,

I haven't really dated like that. I've only had two girlfriends. You smashed a crackhead, though? Would I smash a crackhead? Yeah, RIP to Jenny Crow, by the way. Who's that? That's our town cracket

where I'm growing up. RIP to her. No. Shit. What happened? How did she die? Yeah, osteoporosis? No, bro.

She got hit by a car. No. Yeah, she used to walk around. Jenny Crowe, RIP. Fucking, whatever the religious. RIP, dude. Like, dead eyes. What did you grow up?

I feel like in your town, people would be, like, Christian. You know, it's like a cool little blend of, like, you know, there's like a Catholic school, so there's, like, mad Catholic kids. And then if you're not a Catholic kid, you're, like, your parents are probably on drugs. Whoa.

Or they're, like, secretly on drugs. A lot of people are secretly on drugs, you know? Yeah, of course. I mean, all these, like, moms that are doing, like, you know, Larazan and pills. Like, I meant, like, meth, though. Like, secretly on meth? Like, like, pills, too, but, like, yeah, like, secretly on meth. Like, I know that's the same homie, I'm not going to say her name,

but the same homie that was, like, a 45-year-old that was facilitating us to do drugs as teenagers. She's, like, everybody in the town, like, would ridicule her because it's a small town. They're like, oh, they know that she's on drugs, but she would be doing drugs with, you know, everybody's parents. What? And it's like, you know, only if you were getting caught, really. Are you being, like, really killed or whatever? And so what was your dad like at the time when you were young?

My dad was cool at the time, man. Like, he was great. He worked like a cool factory job, you know? He was like, he played, like, in a men's league in baseball. So, like, I grew up, like, watching that and thinking it was, like, badass, you know? He was like, uh... You thought he was pro? Oh, God, I did.

I remember one time he was rounding second. He tripped on second and, like, rolled halfway to third. And I'm like, okay, he's not pro. That was a moment. I'm pretty sure this is like all fake. Like what's going on here? He did a loony tune spin. What's what these guys doing?

Yeah, yeah. Now, he was cool, though, and he, like, worked a cool job. And, like, he was at work most of the time. But he really held it down, like, until I was a teenager, like, really, you know, was the only, like, dude in the house. Like, he was making the money, you know, and stuff like that. And him and his wife, she was, like, just a waitress. So, you know, she would be, like, working every day all the time my stepmom was.

She's basically my mom. but um shit that crazed me like my mom but um yeah he was just like a regular dad bro like a like a big dude mad tattoos he drove harleys

and and fucking had a truck and um but yeah we like kind of grew up like where I'm from bro like we grew up on $15,000 a year

but and that's broke as but like it's it's not the brokest where I'm from there's like people that are growing up not now but like at the time there's people growing up on 10 you know 15,000 a year

yeah like my dad made 15 or I think maybe on his best year he made 25 a year and so like we were like he was getting paid you know like 11 dollars an hour so you lived with your biological dad and your stepmom and uh five brothers four brothers and a sister and then like a dude that like is basically like my brother yeah and and wow yeah we had like maybe like uh 11 people in the house probably like about at all the time my mom stepmom my dad and then me and all my siblings and then like my older brothers got like we call them Josh and everybody has a Josh in my family. And it's like a friend that's parents are like worse, you know.

And maybe like Josh, for instance, like his parents are passed away. And so he would like be at the crib all the time. My parents were like his parents. Same with my bro Breezy. He grew up like my brother. And his dad like was whooping his ass in high school. So we like came and picked him up and like he lived with me and shit. So there was like 11 of us, 12 of us and one like three bedroom house.

And so everyone's bunking up. Four bedroom. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we're deep. Oh, yeah, and there's no AC. And you remember the ice storm? Oh, wait, you're not from Missouri. No.

All righty, don't skip forward, guys, because I am on the road. World's fastest ad read coming at you. I'm going to be in Indianapolis, Buffalo, Raleigh, Poughkeepsie, Portland, Oregon, Fort Worth, Texas, Austin, Texas, Stanford, Philly, Levittown, Chandler, Arizona, San Diego. I'm also going to be adding Toronto, Montreal, as well as Washington, D.C., and a bunch of other dates are in the description also in probably the comments of this episode. go see me on the road. Come hang out. I'll be hanging out with everyone after the show. Come shake my hand. Call me an idiot. Whatever you want to do, I will be there. Additionally, I will be doing my one hour of stand-up comedy. I'm very proud of this hour. I'm really excited to share it with you guys, and it would mean the world if everyone could come on out.

And what do you wear to a show on the road? That's a great question. You can go to campgoods. That's right. We got merch. We got camp merch. We got hats, hoodies, t-shirts. A lot of stuff is out of stock. Things have been selling like hot cakes, but we're going to be restocking everything in all the sizes. You can go there right now. Get all the merch, get all the coolest clothing in the podcast game. We're going to be updating that site regularly. And if you come out to a show, I'd love to see you sporting some of the threads that we got up online. I'll see you guys there.

Let's get back to the show. In 2007, I think it was. There was an ice storm. And the power was out for like two weeks. Like there was like nobody had power. Everybody was like, don't like nobody had shit. And we was like 15 deep in the living room of my house, which. sheets like all over the walls and shit like that.

It's like using each other's body heat and shit for like warmth, you know? What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It sounds like deadliest catch. It was crazy. Like it was that. No, it was freezing cold in your home. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, dude, yeah. We would just, in times like I had, we was in a two bedroom house and there was like mad windows upstairs and they were all like busted out, you know, because like maybe we'd be rowdy or like we moved in and they were already shitty, but like we'd be getting rowdy and shit. My parents, like, could never fix them, so we'd have, like, plastic on the windows and shit like that. But, like, in the winter, like, if it snowed and we didn't, like, take precaution, there would be snow inside. In the house.

Yeah, for sure, dude, yeah, definitely. Throw a couple of beers in there. Like, oh, yeah, you can fucking put them in the fucking ice, for sure. But, you know, but, like, looking back, it seems like, like, I never realized that it was like that, you know? I never realized that, like, oh, this is not, like, normal and shit. everybody where I'm from in the wintertime or the summertime has their windows, you know, plasticed up because the house is old as fuck and like, you know, it lets the cold in or the heat out or like whatever, you know, so I didn't really realize that it's like, that was like sketchy

as fuck. And I, there would be times where like other parents wouldn't let their kids hang out with us. And I never got it as a kid. I never got it. I'm like, why do they stay with? Like they're being weird, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just think like, what the fuck?

They didn't want their kid to be frozen. Yeah, literally. Or they wanted to make sure that kid was going to eat three times, like that day, you know? So after your parents split, did you hang with your mom much? Yeah, bro. So, like, I'm the only kid. RIP to my older brother. He, me and him, like, made the conscious decision, like, to stay with my mom.

So we would do, like, a week with my mom, a week with my dad. A week of my dad. And then whenever I was 15, like, there was, like, lawyers and shit that came to my house. And they, like, made me make a decision, like, who are you going to live with full time? Are you going to live with your dad? of your mom. That was like a tough decision. I almost, I almost live with my mom, but she was still, like, you know, a drug addict back then, and it was, like, terrible conditions, but, um, but I love my mom, right? Like, so me, my, like, I would want to be in there helping

her and shit, um, but I decided to live with my dad and, like, low-key, thank God I did. Because, like, you know, I'm like, I'm like, I was one bad decision away from being a fucking, in jail, you know? Like, like, my homies went to jail. My best friend, my child of best friend was in jail from 17 to 24. Wow. Yeah. So, like, I was one decision away from that. I feel like if I had to live with my mom, it would have been different.

Yeah, the exposure probably would have been really negative. Yeah, low-key, yeah. So growing up, like, going house to house, like, one week on, one week off, when you're with your dad, it's not, you know, perfect, but, like, it seems like there's a little bit more structure, right? You got, like, all the siblings, everyone's kind of doing their thing. Right. Like, are your siblings going to school regularly?

Like, is everyone, like, studying? Like, what's the, like, the structure on, like, a day-to-day. Yeah, it's crazy that you even say that because, yeah, it was so different from my mom and my dad's, it was like almost like living two lives. Yeah. But you're Hannah Montana. No, I felt like that. White trash Hannah Montana.

Yes, exactly, bro. I go to my mom's house and I would be like real life trailer park white trash kid that's like running around in a shitty diaper. And then I go to my dad's house and I was the quarterback of the football team and the point guard and like I was the, you know, I play shortstop. Like I was playing all these sports. My sister was, she went to school. She graduated.

She was like an athlete. It was cool to watch her. My oldest brother dropped out when he was 16 And then moved back in when he was 20 And graduated that 21 Oh nice My second oldest brother

I remember this like yesterday He said he was 16 years old And he went and he got in trouble Smoking Wheat And he went into my parents' room And he said Fuck you I'm moving out

He said I'm moving to L.A. I want to go smoke weed And be a rock star And he never came back And then Wait, what happened? Where's he at now? Right, he lives in L.A.

He's got a band The captain's son They're pretty dope Yeah, they're real? Do you hit up? Like, are you guys You guys saw in touch? Yeah, when I go to L.A.

sometimes he slides on the studio but he but our styles are so much different and um and also bro i'm a i'm a nine-year-old kid when he moves out and so like i don't really know him that well and then you don't see him from nine to yeah and then i'm and then he just comes for christmas and shit so like he's he's that's my brother but like what's the name of the band the captain's son they're sick the captain's son i would love to see what they look like hey miles the captain's son yeah they're cool and he this is like the guy that got me inspired like I mean, all my brothers were like rock stars. S-O-N.

Yeah, it's all good. All my brothers were like rock stars, instant. Like, they all wanted to be, but these guys really inspired me. He used to have a band called The One You Love to Hate. The Third Picture. Yeah. Yeah, this is them. So which one's your bro?

That's my brother right there. Oh, that's crazy. I did not know. He's a lead singer and lead guitar. So was he making music when you were growing up? The shit, man. They were called the one you love to hate. He was a punk band.

Like, I remember, bro, I tell people this all the time. Like, I fell in love with music. because I grew up where like I will come home from school. My brothers just, you know, they're like, my parents don't get home until 6, 37 every night. Like you don't see your parents until 7 o'clock every single night. So I go home and I'm little bro. I'm 8 years old.

And my 16-year-old brothers are all smoke a pot upstairs, hiding it from the parents locking the door. We're not allowed to hang out. I can hear him playing music. I would walk in and like hear muffled music upstairs, bro, and I'll go up to him and I'll try to get in. They wouldn't let me in the door. I'm a little bro.

But I would watch through this. crack in the door there was like a board that was like nailed to the door and instead of an actual door and there was like a crack and I would watch them like for hours play and like they would he would have a buddy there with sticks and like they were and it was like bro is the coolest shit to me bro and they had like band posters you know what I'm saying in their rooms and shit like that and they would have like instruments and they would be like smoking cigarettes yeah yeah yeah I would be like yeah I know that feeling bro I might so my parents had seven kids holy shit and so similar vibe, I'm number six of the seven.

Oh, word, how old are you? I'm 28. Damn! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck, then you built this? What am I doing? You built this at 28, man? What the fuck am I doing, bro?

I'm washed, that's what happens, bro. That's what happens, yeah, yeah. You quit jerking off, you get so much time. Yeah, I can't do that. I'm not ready for that yet. Not far, no, eventually, eventually. But, but yeah, so I was six of seven, and, yeah, growing up in the house, like, all my older siblings were doing shit.

Yeah. And I would just like peek through. Like I was just trying to get in and always given the like unplugged in controller. Yeah. Like all that, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, definitely. So it was just like it was a, yeah, it was one of those times.

Like it's weird because I feel like generationally, like I'm technically Gen Z. But I was born in 97. I was born the end of 96. Oh really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, September. You're really hanging on to that 28th, thank you. Hey, right.

Bro, I got until September. What are you talking about? I'm not going to be 29 September. How many months is that? What? Dude, we're five months away. That's crazy. I'm not rounding down.

I'm not rounding down. When's your birthday? In April, I just turned 27. Stop it. I'm like, I barely got pimples, bro. I'm like, fucking, I'm a baby basically compared to you, bro. You're old, bro. Are you serious?

You look terrible. Dude, look at me, bro. There's no mirror in here? Thank God for you, man. Yeah. It's a slisk called sleep. No, I'm working on the beard thing. No, and the stash looks nice, I'll be honest.

I just got it trimmed up. Yeah. Really? You went to a barber? Or he came to me, yeah. Okay, all right, geez. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, this guy behind me. This guy's a player.

No, no, he just sent me a barber. He said, I got to have a real barber. Okay, yeah, yeah. This motherfucker said, he was grabbing my shit. Oh, damn, it was nice. What kind of barber was he? Dominican Puerto Rican. No, you can say it.

Puerto Rican. Well, doesn't it feel wrong if we say it? You were so proud of yourself. He was like, we're not supposed to be saying it. Yeah. Puerto Rican. Run me back. Yeah.

Ashby again? No, you're done for, by the way. Your career's over. I know, right? We're edging. Wow, wow, we should say Puerto Rican right now. Dude, that's so messed up. Bro.

You got to say, you got to say Mexican, I think. Mexican, I think. Yeah. That's terrible. Juan, I'm sorry. That was fucked though. I shouldn't have said that.

Sorry, one. She was the same Mexican, I think. That's funny. Yeah, dude. But the barber, when they come trim you up, different vibe. They don't touch the hair. They only hit your hair.

your stash? No, he, like, man, this is, are we going to get into this? I'm here. He trims me up in the back, you know, he gives me a little undercut. This feels fucking, it looks nice. Okay.

This feels fimb-boys. It feels fend boys. Yeah, man, so he just comes and cleans me up, you know, he kind of comes and, you know, knocks off every single dead skin molecule on my face. Hell yeah. This is like after four days of trying as hard as I can for it to come back. Bro, I went to, I got married in 2020.

Two days before my wedding, I was like, I have this crazy beard. I never do shit with it. I just let it happen. And I try my best. I don't know how to trim it. So I went, I was like, I'm gonna go to a barber for real to get my shit nice. And so we got married in Florida.

I googled barbershop. I don't go to a barber. I go to like a salon. You know what I mean? I have like, I have like, I have like a cute, like sorority girl doing my hair. You know what I have like women? I don't let men touch it. I just like women touch it.

And so I go to this barber for the first time and the only barbers in my area are all Dominican. So I pulled up and I walked in there. I was like, hey man, I'm getting married. And I think it was that day. I was like, I'm getting married in a few hours. I just need my beard trimmed up. You got me?

He was like, yeah, bro, no problem, poppy, just sit down. And so then he starts to trim it. I stopped him and I didn't know how to bring it up, but I was like, I'm white. Was he fading you in here? I could feel him starting to see it. And I was like, I was like, yo, just don't make me, I don't know how to say it.

He faded me up first. And I looked it And I was like Yo, I kind of fuck with this Everybody in the room started laughing The engineer especially He started busting up

Busting my balls If you're just not ready for it And all of a sudden You know, you're Avery from Missouri You know what I'm with that though Say hey look You're a white boy Avery And then you show up

And you're like Fucking Swavemente It's like yo what happened You know what happened You know what I did I walked out of there I was like yo don't make me too Dominican

He's like bro He was laughing He's like nah bro Don't worry I got you I was Dominican I was Zoro Like I walked out of there I was fucking edged up perfectly.

Like, my shit was square. Like, it was super thin. I called her, because, like, you're not supposed to see her wife before you get married. So, like, I called her, and I was like, I facetimed her. And I was like, babe, I don't know how to tell you this. We're getting married in two hours. I fucked up so bad. I'm, you're marrying Marcos.

You know what I mean? I was like, I don't know how to tell you. And so I phasedimed her, and she goes, honey, I love you no matter what you look like. Oh, word. She lied like a mom. She lied, bro. She for sure lied. And then at the very end, she was like,

yo, just trim up the corners so it's not so sharp, making it more round. So what, that was six years ago? Five, five years ago? I mean, four and a half. Imagine being married for five years and still acting like a young dude. Saying that he's young. You've been married for five years.

You're as old as me, to be honest. You got tattoos and shit. You know what I mean? You aged in super speed, being from Missouri. You know what I did not. That's what happens, bro. When you grow up in the cold, like that's the only reason you look young. That's because you were frozen.

for five years, you know? Man, that's what happened. You know, it's really cold in the winter and hot as fuck in the summer. Yeah. It's terrible. So, wait. Have you been to Missouri?

I went to Kansas City, which is not even, right? Right. It's Kansas. Yeah, but I mean, you know, that's cool. It was fine. Yeah, we just did shows there. Oh, word? Yeah.

Like, what kind of show? Just comedy shows. Oh, word? Yeah, yeah. Oh, you do comedy shows? You do stand-up comedy? What did they tell you before you came here? They were like, you were like, yo, there's a tent?

You're like, I think honestly, I'm kind of like, What is going on? No, I think I got like a... They don't like to tell me a whole lot. They tell me shit, I might start... They're afraid you're going to bug out? Yes. You're just going to come in here and be like, bro, I want to do comedy now.

Damn, so this is a comedy show? Oh, all right, man. I was wondering what was up with all the racism. I'm just playing. I'm just trying to make you feel comfortable, bro. I'm trying to make you feel comfortable. That's the way to go. Everyone from Missouri, dude.

No, yeah, no. That's so funny, bro, because it's on my bus, like, my, I'm on the bus on tour with, like all my best friends like these I grew up with these guys right I mean best friends was stretching but I did grow up all these guys like I've known them since I was a kid and our bus driver is like um he's like a redneck dude you know and and and he owns a trucking company and he's like all that so it's like anytime like anything even gets close to that we're like looking at him like hey bro chill chill out not too much hey not too much bro yeah was the whole time you grew up in was it all white trash or was it like other so um

You know, it's crazy, like, to be completely real, bro, I mean, you can Google it. Like, it's a notoriously, like, racist place. Really? Where I'm at in South Texas, Missouri. I think that the town that I grew up with was the last town in America to lynch a person for being black. What? Yeah, so it's like, it's like a, it's like that. Whenever I was growing up, like, it kind of started to get more diverse.

My godfather is a black man and his kids are all black. And my dad, and they moved to town. and so there was like a family of you know you know 10 black people and then um the town next to me is monette missouri and they are famous for um they they tyson's is is there tyson's chicken plant and they don't you can work there without any ID so you don't have to have a green card and you don't have to anything so they're so they're famous for that so a lot of people come from mexico to monette so there was quite a bit of uh Hispanic people and and then there was like a family or maybe two families of like black people,

but it's like mostly fucking like those guys. Whoa. You know, like it's like, yeah, it's pretty rough. But I think it's getting way better, dude. And honestly, like, I visited recently and like even dudes that whenever I was growing up were like assholes and stuff, they're kind of like getting soft and stuff.

I think it's way better now. Yeah. Was there a moment or was there like a development for you to like kind of get away from that? Because obviously you're not raised now, but like in the time where you grew up in the people maybe, It was like a little sketchy. So like at what point did you realize like, oh, that's fucked up.

Well, dude, thankfully, I'm blessed. My stepmom is she's from Atlanta, Georgia, and she's like, she grew up without any white people. And so I met her whenever I was four years old. And so she, like, I never, it was never like that for me. My house was always like a safe spot for shit like that. And my mom was very, like, she would let us know, like, whenever, you know, if we had like a friend, one of my good friends was a Mexican kid. And there was like times where people weren't treating him right. And she would like tell us like they're doing that because he's Mexican.

Wow. And my mom also said shit like back then she would say Fena or Trana. Like she talked like she was from the hood. Like she had more of a hood slang. She spoke in like abonics or whatever it's called. And so it was just like different. I think I was like really aware of it. And but I would see it everywhere.

But you know it was never like like never in our house wasn't ever like that. I never one time grew up like that. Like, I always knew. I wasn't even allowed to say, like, the R word. Like, you know what I'm saying? Shit like that. Fucking, ding! There's like a fucking gay.

And like, when I... I was gonna let us lie to, I'm like, all right. No, no, I almost said it. But, no, like, I wasn't allowed to say shit like that. Like, my stepmom was, like, from the jump. She, like, let us know. So, but, you know, we grew up and we seen it. And also, I think my stepmom is, like, my core friend group

and the people I grew up with are there. have more of a sense of like culture and stuff because of my stepmom. Like, like, you know, she would get on their ass about like, yo, like, you know, that's... So your stepmom really held it down. She held it down like a mother phone. And like the house, like you even mentioned

like Josh's came through. Like everyone's... The Josh's, man, we all got a Josh. Mine's name is Shay. Shout out to him. He's definitely gonna watch this. That's crazy. And so they would just come over and just hang.

And like that was... Live there, man. Yeah, live there. Eat dinner. Like, I would come home. Maybe me and my brothers aren't there for the night. And we would come home and my mom would have a hamburger helper made

and Josh would be at the table eating it with you know Trevor Davis which is another dude that was like to homey Did you fight growing up? Yeah But how often? I mean I had like mad older brothers Often as fuck honestly

Yeah we was like fighting That's kind of like we were little shitheads And we was fighting every day basically Were you good? Who me? Yeah I mean I've had my ass beat But I like I can get down now

Yeah what's up I mean like yeah like Like, bro, honestly, bro. You can't even help it. Think about the idea of fighting. You're like, all right. No, it's funny that you say that, though, because I've always been like that. I've always been, you know, like, I've always been down to, you know, squabble up.

But I was just in Detroit or maybe, no, I was in Madison, Wisconsin. And I'm with my boys and we're on tour. And this dude, we're walking across the street and this dude almost hit us with his car. And he rolls his window down. He's like, fuck you. And I was like, fuck you. And he's like, I'm going to pull over. And I was like, do it.

And he pulls over And so I'm like, okay, bad I'm about to get my ones in with this guy All right, I'm empty in my pockets I put my hat down And I square up with him And I'm like, and we're just like squared up

For like a couple of seconds And nobody's, and I'm just thinking to myself, I don't think I have it in me To punch this dude And it's like taking me a few seconds And I don't punch him And all of a sudden here comes my boy Shay

Boom! Lights him up, boom, dude falls down We ended up like getting a little squabble But I never even threw a punch I was like trying to break it up And then the dude like followed us up The block

And then my other boy Hunter The bus driver I was telling you He fucking clobbered this fucking guy. And, like, they ended up beating the shit out of this dude, but I didn't even throw a punch. Wow. So, I think maybe now, now you're old. Like, I'm a pussy.

Low-key. Welcome to the club, baby. I'm telling you, man, yeah, bro. I'm pretty sure I'm a pussy now. But back in the day, I remember... You were confrontational, though. Like, you enjoyed the confrontation. Back in the day?

Yeah. Actually, I never really enjoyed the conversation, but it was like... I was just about to say this earlier. Fighting was, like, a sport kind of. You know, it was kind of like... I just wanted to... win. Like I never really got hell

mad like that to like getting fight. Every time I could think of me being hell of mad I always got my ass like whooped. Like the times where I was like fighting and trying to win yeah it would be like kind of more like a sport and bro we would meet up like we did this thing on Fridays after school where we went into my buddy's backyard right when his mom built a fence because it was like pretty small and it was like a square and we would all meet up and

just like throw ones there and like fight day and like bet for money and shit. You put money on it? I'm just like you know five ten bucks and yeah. I remember one year we were We all took sparklers. You ever made a sparkler bomb? No. Type shit. How do you make that?

Yeah, bro. So you get sparklers, a lot of sparklers, like this mini worth, and you just like black tape. You light one and it ends up blowing up. Really? Yeah, it's like crazy as fuck. Oh, that's sick as hell. You got to Google that shit.

Oh, hey, uh, Jamie. Pull up sparkler bomb on YouTube. I know a dude that got his hand blown off by this shit, but one year we were betting sparklers, near the 4th of July on fights Whoa and wait So you guys were fighting

And my buddy Alex fought my other buddy Kenny Yeah look That's a spark in the wrong That's a tiny one wrong Oh that's a tiny one All right let's check it out That's like a baby one bro

Imagine this time How fat would you make it Dude I'm telling you I'm making them this big I make them every year to this day Except they're federally illegal So I'm joking But if I did

No this is parody Yeah it's a parody Parity's nuts on your face I was about to get you with that I'll be honest I was about to. I've seen them ladies outside earlier. You seen them ladies? Ladies, nuts.

You really like, you really like you're going to give me that? Come on, bro. Let's got to. Let's see it. Check this out. Damn. Now, imagine that times 10, and then you put a barrel on top. And you screw shit on top, and it blows it like 100 feet in the air.

Oh, that's sick. That's what tweakers do. Did you ever get arrested when you were a kid? Yeah. For what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like bullshit. I got arrested whenever I was like 15 because I ran from, I got,

They were trying to pull me over on that I was driver's eyes, and I ran from the cops. And then, like, the next day, they, like, knew where I lived. So they came in the rest of me. I feel like running from the cops shouldn't be illegal. Yeah, and, like, dude, it was, like, kind of a... We had, like, a... There was only one cop on duty where I'm from. You knew the cop.

Yeah, there was a cop that got fired one time because, like, he would come kick it with us. His name was Tiny Tim. And he would, like, bring us weed. What did Tiny Tim look like? Oh, man. Pro guess, man. He was, like, five, six, five, seven. He was, like, uh...

You guys like cop? sit here. I like good people. I like good people. Yeah, but he was a, you know, he was a cop, bro. He was a five, five cop. Wow. And you called him Tiny Tim to his face.

Tiny Tim was his name. That was it. He used to live with our homies, dad. Yeah. Just Tiny Tim. My brother actually one time, Tiny Tim fucking tased him and my brother hit him with a brick in the head.

And he locked him up, put him in the back of the car. And I remember my brother, I'm upstairs in my bedroom and I'm watching the cops talk to my parents and they got all this paper, you know. And my brother's like drunk in the backseat he's probably like 17, 18 and he's like screaming. Avery Jamie.

And we're like, we're like, what? Like upstairs, like watch him to the window with the window pulled up. He's like, watch this. He goes, I'm a countdown from five and I'm gonna break out of here. And the cops are like, shaling, like, chill out, chill out. He gets all the way down to one

and he busts the fucking window out with his feet, runs out and handcuffs. Start running down the road. Boom, boom, boom. Running down the road. Running from the cop. Juke stout. It puts the AI moves on it, boom, runs down the way, and I remember watching him getting tackled.

It was actually low-key sad, but, like, looking back, hilarious. That's wild. You could get away with shit like that where I'm from because, like, the cop. Yeah, and the cop would be like, Shailen, could be in a dumb ass. Yeah, like, I know your mom. Yeah, he wouldn't pull his gun and, like, try to shoot you, you know, or whatever. You know, there was one, like, sheriff that was kind of an asshole, and he would, like, pull his gun on anything. Really?

Yeah, like, my home girl at the time, she was, like, smoking weed on a roof, and he, like, pulled a gun. gun on her and made her jump off the roof and she broke her foot. No fucking what? Yeah. And what, did anything happen to him? She got arrested. And, but, like, did he get in trouble for, like, making some teenage girl jump off the roof? No, he'll know.

He's under investigation right now. I heard on Facebook, though. That's crazy. Yeah. A lot of small towns, shit like that, for real. Yeah. Like, the small towns, you know everything. You know everyone.

You know, the people that own the stores at you in. What's, like, the craziest thing you and all your boys or even, like, your siblings got into? Yeah, like, as far as, like, Just like shenanigans, you know what I mean? Like, I'm trying to think, like, we had a, there were some dudes behind my house, like, it was my brother's friends, and they did a bonfire and they dumped gasoline on it. Oh, shit. And you know this.

Yeah. Explodes. Boom. And this thing rippled the entire, like, the windows shook. Oh, shit. And everyone ran outside. It was like two in the morning. Oh, word.

And the whole neighborhood is freaked out. The fire department comes. It didn't really even cause a fire. It just was big as fuck. Yeah. And, like, I mean, everyone got in trouble. Like, it was the whole thing. Like there's all these like weird little storages, even like in my suburbs.

So I'm like, did you guys do like crazy shit than that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, that sounds like some pretty. It was fun. Yeah, that's some crazy. Yeah, that's some crazy. What's up, guys? We're going to take a break really quick because we have a new sponsor with the show that I'm so excited about that I need to tell you.

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with my health and nourishing my body and this is the stuff that I take, which is why I'm so excited to tell you guys about it. So check it out, and let's get back to the show. Yeah, I don't know. Shit like that, bro. Yeah, we had, whenever I was growing up, I lived a block away from the middle school,

which was like an old building from like the 1920s, and that ended up shutting down and there was like four or five years where it was abandoned. So that was like a place where we would go hang out and we would run from the cops. But like where I'm from, bro, like it's different. You know, I might tell you a story and be like, We would run from the cops.

There's a story I tell on a different podcast where I'm talking about robbing the concession stand at the high school. Me and my homies did that one night. And we ran from the police, like, for hours, like on foot. But it's different because, like, if you can't do that here, like in New York City, you can't do that. You're getting caught. You're getting your door kicked in. There's guns being drawn. There's cameras everywhere.

Where I was at, it was like a couple of cops trying to, like, and they're kind of having fun. Yeah. And it's like not that big of a deal because it's like, what do we take? $200 worth of candy from, you know, that's this tiny concession, like... They also probably kind of know it was you. And they probably know it was us. So it's like, yeah, we're just going to follow up with his mom tomorrow.

Yeah, exactly. Like literally. So, so, but, but that, Robin the concessioning was crazy. But I think just like in general, man, I really lived a childhood of like, very little parents, you know?

Like, it was like I could pretty much do, you know, I could be home whenever I wanted really. You know, I never really like... I got in trouble sometimes, but I never got into like serious trouble. Like, if I was in serious trouble, I'm, like, getting my ass whoop by my dad. I'm not, like, being grounded for a month.

Like, I was never grounded. Got the belt on you? For a month. The fucking hands, bud. Oh, really? Are you serious, man? Yeah, how... Like, square up?

Or, like, was he, like, spanking you? Like, unfortunately, look, man, I don't think that the, like, shit's cool, but, like, I think I wouldn't... I had to grow up how I did. So I don't blame my dad for another shit. But, yeah, bro, like, there would be times, like, I remember getting into trouble

after one of my football games. for like going and hanging out with these kids instead of coming home and like when I came home like my dad fucking yoked me up and like he's pulling me all the way to the bathroom and I'm like trying to get away from him and like we ended up falling into the bathroom or into the bathtub and he's like on top of me you know like smacking me and shit so it was like that but I mean you know but that's only when I got in trouble for a that didn't happen a lot bro like right you know I mean I only got in trouble five times probably you know I would get in like petty trouble and shit and have to do like somebody's chore or like

take the trash out or some bullshit. Did you try to stay out of trouble? I just, everybody around me was always in so much trouble where I was always just kind of like around it. I never really, myself, I never really like did shit to get in trouble, but like my friends were crazy as fuck and like my brothers were too. So I was kind of just around. I think that people knew that too.

Like my parents knew like, you know, if there was like a time where maybe I'm getting in trouble, like I probably, you know, wasn't the instigator. Right. I was probably just in the wrong spot at the wrong time, you know? You know, those times where I was the instigator, too. But, but, yeah, I don't think that, like, I don't know. They kind of seen me for who I was.

Like, they knew that I was, like, I was just an emotional kid. I was never, like, a fucking bad kid. Right. Yeah, I mean, it's not the exact same because I didn't, it's obviously the environment I grew up in was not at all like that. But, like, I would see my siblings get in trouble. Because, again, I'm number six like you. So, like, I would see my siblings get in trouble,

and I'd be like, I don't want that to happen. Yeah, definitely. So I was like, I just won't do. that like i got to learn from them you know what i mean like they got punished by proxy or like you know i mean like i saw their punishment i was like yeah yeah so like my sister's like doing drugs getting DUIs oh my parents are pissed and i was yeah yeah like she was in a biker gang for a little bit like she was like what the fuck how is she's 35 now that's tight what the fuck now she's got now she's got you know three kids damn do they know about the biker gang stories i don't know if they do

that's so bad her kids are so cool though how many sisters you got four sisters oh shit four sisters two brothers oh shit mostly girls in yeah and my my brothers are the oldest So, like, I was raised around women. There's only women in the house. Oh, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that why? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Exactly, bro. That's what I'm so. You know, when you have, like, a banana, like, in your lunchbox, like, everything kind of tastes like banana a little bit? I wish I could relate, brother. Yeah. That's me. You know what I mean?

Like, I was just around a lot of bananas, so I got a little banana on. You know what I mean? So, I, like, I dressed good. I cake from my eyebrows a little. Yeah, I never had a lunchbox. What the fuck? Fucking blindside. No, no, no.

We were eating school lunch, how me? That's crazy So who was your craziest friend? Like craziest as in what? Just like if you were hanging with them It was like, oh, tonight's gonna be a problem Shea. She was a crazy one.

Yeah, the one that went to prison when we were 17 Yeah, like we was smoking like I mean, like you ever smoke grapevine? I've never heard of grapevine. Yeah, bro, oh, this is actually like, well, I was gonna say like, this is like some cool shit to do but like now we're 30 damn near. Yeah, not you're 30.

Just like go back to being like 10 years old with your homies and I could show you what it is. It's kind of like grapevine is like Where we're from there's literal grapevine And so you It's a vine that's empty in the middle And you take it and you light it And you can just puff on it

It's almost like an instant It almost burns like an instant But you can puff on it and like blow it out like a cigar You don't want to inhale it But you can puff on a bottle of cigarettes If you inhale it, it would But that's just because you're inhaling Fucking wooden smoke

Not because it's like There's any shit Yeah yeah yeah Like it just would feel like Inhaling a fire But you're not supposed to inhale You're supposed to just taste it And we was doing that from like, he had us on grapevine when I was like nine years old.

Whoa. Walking around town. Chief and Grapevine. Yeah, we would have like mad grapevine in our pocket. We'd go down to like the fair and we'd just be walking around like they was like joints of cigarettes or something. Would you buy them or would you literally pick them off the tree? Yeah, you pick them off the tree. That's so.

You're Tom Sawyer character, bro. No, it's true. No, no. But I remember getting caught smoking grapevine at Howdy Neighbordays, which is the carnival. And like my dad's, that was one of those times, man. He smacked on the back of the head, fucking dragged to the car. You know, you're not going to be smoking shit, you know, like get that the fuck out of hand. And, you know, we played sports too.

So there was like a, you know, like a kind of a, I don't know how like a lot of parents and stuff like that. They knew we were shitheads and shit like that. But then it would come like sports times and he would kind of be like. Yeah. And we'd have to straighten up. And they would, you know, want us on their team. Of course. Because there's not a whole lot of people for the team anyways.

So your dad was pretty rigid. Like he had like a pretty solid moral compass. And it seems like your stepmom was very. was very like, yeah, my stepmom had the moral compass. I think my dad was just like, um, he just didn't want me to be a fucking,

uh, he didn't want me to be like my mom. So I don't know that he didn't have like, you know, that when I got older, like I started getting fucked up with my dad, you know, like I started getting,

like when I was 20 years old, 21 years old, I'm like, Dragan and like on drugs, dude. Oh, what drugs are you doing with your dad? Oh, I mean,

I'm just like doing my own drugs at my dad's house. You know what I'm saying? Well, my dad is doing his own drugs. Oh, really? Like, he's popping pills. That was his thing.

And, like, back then I would be doing, like, yeah, I would be doing, like, acid and blow and shit like that. And I would be coming over, yeah, fucked up and just getting fucked up. And you guys would just talk shit? Like... We just talked shit. He was amazing. He was one of the boys.

But also, you know, as I got older, like, I kind of grew up, like, I saw shit really early. And so I was, like, always kind of, like, I was what kept, like, my brother's talking to my mom and shit like that. Like, I was the baby. And I was, like, pretty emotional. So, like, and everybody knew that, you know? So it's kind of like the backbone of like us having like a family. So whenever I got older like 21 years old, I might as well have been 40, you know, like to my parents.

Right. They didn't. You're very mature. Yeah. Well, I really wasn't that mature, but just to them, they'd known, you know, the shit that I'd known. I was paying my dad's bills for like a whole year one time and nobody knew that my dad was like broke. But I was like, I had money because I was like selling weed and they knew that. And so I was, I knew shit that like my siblings didn't know and shit like that because I was like helping out.

relationship. Yeah, my dad would hit me up and be like, yo, I'm, I'm shaking today. I haven't, like, taken a fucking Xanax in a week, and I'm, like, puking today. And, like, my other siblings wouldn't know that. So you'd hit your boy. To tell that. No, I never got my dad pills, not even one time. Oh, really? Never. But he would tell me, though, and he would always cry afterwards because he would be like, I'm sorry because I never got him. No, because I don't fuck with that shit, but, and I never fucked with that shit. That's, that's heavy. Like, he's talking about, like, his addiction kind of, and, like, asking for help but like in the wrong way yeah yeah yeah facts so how do you even broach that with him like

you just how do you hang up the phone in that situation right without cry i don't know man it would just be sad it would be like you ever heard like bro it's the most terrible thing for somebody like man to to look at you and you could just see that they're like they're hurting and like my dad when he was like on drugs he was like hurting and you and if he was asking me for pills that means that he's like feeling like man he's about to die or something yeah and so it would just hurt. It would just be like, ah, like, I can't, you know I'm not going to get you pills. And I can't believe you would ask me that I'm your son, like, whoa, you know, like, too far. I remember I got out of jail one time and he come and pick me up his fucking bitch ass was

like two hours late. And I'm like, why to fuck you late? And he was just, like, laughing. He was a funny dude, a funniest dude ever. And he was just laughing. And he's like, what type of bird don't sing? A jail bird, motherfucker. Like, just hop in. You want to ride or not? And then like we get halfway down the road and he goes from like laughing and joking to like crying and being like, like, I'm sorry. I was trying to get pills and I couldn't find them and blah, blah, blah, blah. And like, I need your help. Can you help me find him? And I'm like, drop me off.

I'm like, let me out right here. We're on a back road. I'm like, let me out right here. Like, for I fucking punch you in the face. I can't believe you would say that. Like I was just in jail and I need you, bro. Like, you know, like I, you're my pops. Like you're supposed to be here to pick me up and you immediately ask me about pills.

Like, what the fuck, dude? Yeah. And so it's kind of like that. But then, you know, at the same time, I grew up where, like, I was raised by my siblings, you know? Like, I was raised by my older brother and my sister. My sister was, like, and my stepmom. Like, that's who I was raised by. So, like, I was never my mom's boy.

I was always her homie. Like, I was always, you know, like, I knew what was going on. I was her homie. I was seeing shit, nobody was seeing. I was never, like, I was my dad's son until I started having armpit hair and shit like that. And then it was like, oh, I'm a teenage kid and I was, and he was working. And it was like, all of a sudden, you know, sports wasn't down. important and all of a sudden like doing these things father-son type shit just wasn't that

important because he's got to work and i'm a teenager it's about time for me to start working like as soon as we was 15 like we all had to try to start find a job get a job i never did though all my other shitlings did but i was i fucking always hated having a job but you made some money some other way not in high school bro for real no i my dad kicked me out when i was 18 and um he was like you got to get an apartment and um why did you kick you out because i was 18 oh that was it that was it's like hey, time to move on. Time to move on. And all your brothers got the same thing.

Well, they all moved out. Basically, everybody, but my sister moved out when they were 16 because they wanted to, like, go be fucking whatever. So, but I was 18, yeah, he's like, it's time to go. You got to go try to figure it out. If you don't have it figured out by 21, like, you can come stay for another year,

but you got to go figure it out. Wow. And the weed thing just happened because, are we allowed to talk about this? Yeah. The weed thing just happened because, bro, I don't have a case. I'm in a, yeah, I'm in a, I don't have a case.

I'm in a fucking garage. I'm with that lady. Okay. This is my third. I'm about to tell you to pull her up here in a second. I'm with that lady and she's got some tweaker ass friends over. And I don't even smoke weed at the time. And this crackhead comes in and he's got a fucking pound of weed.

Have you seen a pound of weed before? It was like stacked up, saran wrap? No, no, no. Just in a giant bag. Like a trash bag? Basically. Yeah. Yeah.

And he's like, hey man, you think you can get rid of this. I'm like thinking to myself, oh, I'm about to steal it from you. You fucking tweak her? and I'm like, yeah, dude, like, let me get it. And he's like, here you go. And he's like, go try to get rid of it. Some crazy crackhead shit, right? I go home, I call my boy.

I'm like, hey, bro, this crackhead just gave me a pound of weed. He's like, no way. And I'm like, what? And he's like, this guy just asked me if I knew where to get weed at. I'm like, what? Look at God. He's like, boom. He comes to me and he's like, I need a pound.

Give him to pound and flip it. Made $500 that day. I'm tripping. I'm like tripping. So it just went from that, bro. I just started getting, you know, lots of weed. Talking people will get plugged up, they can get you stuff. Low key, though, for real.

I was just a dude that was, I was just one plug, and I knew about five plugs, and they all needed, you know, 10, 15, 20 pounds a week, and I was just facilitating that, for real. And how much money were you making on a weekly basis when you were doing that deep? In my, like, prime? Yeah, and The Wolf of Wall Street days.

Probably, like, weekly, $25,000, probably. What? In my prime. 25K. Weekly. A week? Probably. Yeah.

And so what is that? I remember one weekend I spent $60,000. Hold on. That was like a nobody with no car. I was living in a sketchy apartment with roaches in it and shit like that. But if you're making $25,000 a week, tax-free, why are you-

Except metaphorically. Yeah, yeah, of course, like if there's true, but like in the screenplay about your life, like the, you know, like a fictionalized version. In this fictionalized version, why would someone live in an apartment that has roaches when they're making $25? So I'm 18 years old. I got no credit. I got nothing like that. I'm buying I got I'm buying like me and all my homies got fresh shoes on right. We all got a car. We all got like a little car. We all got a little motorcycle. I'm paying my dad's rent. I'm breaking off my brothers all the time. Like I remember like I would go the guys that I was selling weed to they didn't count their money. You don't count $25,000. You put it on a scale and it weighs $2,500 because every dollar bill is a gram. And so you like that,

Like, that's what you do. And you would weigh it. And so, like, a lot of the time, like, we would, fuck, dude, this is so terrible. We would, like, set our scale a half gram, like, off. And so they would weigh up, like, $1,500 extra dollars. And I would be, like, going and just, I mean, I'm handing it to the boys. Like, that's kind of what we were doing for a while.

And that was, like, really, like, that was, yeah, there was a time where that was, like, going really heavy, man. But my friends, like, my two best friends at that time, both got federally indicted for selling weed. So, so. And they're both still, like, locked up and one of them's gonna be for, I'll never see him again. And the other one's gonna be locked up for the next, like, five years.

So I was kind of just like, and that's another thing. I was kind of just in that circle. And like, I remember this time, bro, I'm at this party. And I'm hanging out with like, I'm the only white dude in the room and everybody's got big old guns. And we're like shooting dice. We're like throwing dice in the living room. And I remember a shootout starts to happen. And these dudes start shooting and they run outside and my boy comes up to me.

And I'm thinking like, I'm a, like, I thought I was a gangster, right? Because I sell weed to these gangsters. I just thought I was one, but I wasn't, right? And he comes up to me, and he's like, hey, bro, I want you to know. And this is in the mid of people like, he's like, I want you to know, bro. You are, we think you're a cool white kid. He's like, you're a hippie, bro. Like, you don't have to be here.

He's like, we like you because you're sweet and you're sensitive. Like, we don't expect you to stay here and try to be a gangster. He's like, why don't you go and leave out the back door? And I ran out the back door and never seen them again. Never seen any of them again. Never I quit selling, like, maybe a couple of weeks later. And like, I was like, this isn't for me, bro. Like, yeah, this is getting scary.

And, like, my friends are getting locked up. And people are getting shot at. And, like, we're getting robbed. I got my house kicked in before. I've been pistol whipped and all types of shit for people trying to steal weed. Yeah, did it ever get sketchy? Like, you're doing a deal. And then, you guess, tense.

So, like, I was really, like, um, oh, man, bro. Metaphorically. Yeah. I was, like, really kind of just, like, I was, like, a DJ college type where I was really, never in the room, but I'm connecting all the people to be in the room. Or I would hire a driver to come, hey, yo, come pick this up for me and bring it over there, so I didn't really have to fuck with it.

But there was a time where my homie, I let him live with me, and he was, like, a runner for me, and they assumed that he was the plug, and I got, like, these dudes, they come up to my house. They're, like, running up to my house. I can tell you the story. Fuck it. I'm just to tell you the whole story. Yeah. All right, they're, like, running up to my house. And I hear this car door, like, it's like a car door slam, and I hear like an engine, like, oh.

And I look outside and I see these dudes running around. up with baseball bats. So I call my boy. I'm like, I'm getting robbed. I'm getting robbed. They got baseball bats. I throw my phone down. We're like looking for weapons because at this time I don't have any weapons. I'm 21 years old. I don't have like weapons or nothing like that. And boom, they kicked the door. My friend is like 400 pounds. So he's like hanging on the door. And he's like, get something, get something. Boom, the door flies open. I'm right in front of the door. The guys right here, there's two dudes coming in and a pistol hits the ground and slides all the way to my feet. And I look down and I look up and I'm like, oh, and I realize they're baseball bats.

where AR-15s were silencers on them. They weren't even baseball bats. Boom, they got him, like, pointed at us, and they're like, pointing them at us, and I'm looking at this pistol on the ground, and I'm looking at the dude. And yet, dude's got another pistol in his hand. He's like, don't even do it.

And he grabs the pistol all slow-like, and he's like, everybody get on their hands and knees. My girlfriend at the time, mouths off to him, and she's like, you're not going to make me do shit. I'm like, shut up. Stop. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, stop. Yo, yo, yo, yo.

The dude goes, it was Christmas time, so there was a tree and there was presents. He goes, it looks like it's Christmas for everybody. And nobody laughed and she goes, that shit wasn't even funny. Bro. In the heat of the battle. At least she's consistent.

You know what I mean? Because she gives you shit. She gives you shit. But you're like, at least everyone gets it. I mean, the robbers were getting. Yeah. So my boys are on their hands and needs in the living room. Boom.

I'm like, yo, it's my crib. So like, he was trying to rob my boy. And he's like, I'm like, dude, it's my crib. And he's like, all right, take me to the weed then. So I'm like, all right, come to the basement. And I'm thinking to myself. I'm going to get this guy in the basement and like, this guy yeah i'm thinking they're gonna kill us so i'm like what am i gonna do so we get down into the

basement and i have like all my weed over here and i got like a bag of weed right here that's got like not that much weed and i'm like that's all i got he's like i know it's ain't all you got and i'm like that's all i got bro and i'm looking at this gun and i'm about to go grab it and the next thing i know um i hear and i'm i got blood running down my face and my whole shirt is i had a white shirt on it's covered in blood and i'm on a couch like this and this dude and is straddling me like he's like riding my dick he's got a knee here and a knee here and he's just and a knee here and And he's stepping up on me and he's got the gun pressed on my forehead. And he's like, I know you got money.

Like, where the fuck's the money at? So he had pistol with me. And I didn't even realize it. And whenever I come to, he's like on me being like, I know you got money. I know you got money. Where's the money? I'm like, all right, let me take you up to the money. Then it's upstairs.

That's all the weed I got. He's like, all right. And so I go upstairs. And now all of my homies that were on their hands and knees, they've seen me walk upstairs with this. I look like I'm bleeding from my head. And they have silencers. So they're like scared that.

No, he shot him. Yeah. And so they're like, yo, yo, what the fuck? What the fuck? And I'm like, I'm good. I'm good. And they're like, are you sure you're good? And I'm like, yeah, I'm sure I'm good.

So I go to my safe and I used to put my 20s and my tens in one, like case. Like they would just be scattered out and then I put all my hundreds and in this other case. And so the 20s and how much cash you have at this point? Yeah. At the time, right then and there, I probably had 25,000 liquid cash in the safe. And I gave, I, I looked, the guy's got a gun on the back of my head and he's talking to his partner. and I grabbed the hundreds and I slipped him in my pants like this

and I turn around with the box and I'm thinking oh God he's gonna kill me he's gonna kill me I turn around with the box I'm like this is all my money he's like I know this ain't all your money I'm like I swear this is all my money bro he's like man you think I'm stupid

right when he says that boom my door gets kicked back in again and it's my homie that I text and said they got baseball bats and so boom he kicks my door in and he's got a baseball bat and he looks at me he's like literally in the heat of all this shit

he looks at me and he goes Abe what the fuck bro they got guns I look at him and I'm like my bad bro I didn't know they got guys I'm like you ought to just leave And he goes He's got a catcher's mitt You know what I mean he's like

He's like yeah he's like yeah He's like all right fuck that I'm like T then just leave bro And he's like all right I'm gonna steal their hellcat He said that out loud and he runs out the door And they're like yo and then you hear the hellcat Take off down the street And everybody that was robbing me runs out the fucking door

And you hear like cow cow And then shooting out the car And then you hear the car And then a door slam And then boom. And so long story short, I found out after the case. My homie stole the car. He went down like three blocks, jumped out the car, hopped back in his car and dipped.

And they chased him for like a little while. And they didn't end up finding him or whatever. So when they leave, they just chase him. And then you're free. So I'm at the crib. And I'm like, boom, I got most of my money in my pants. About like 15,000 of my pants. They probably took 10.

And then I got like most of my weed downstairs. So it's all good, right? But I'm tripping. And I'm like, why the fuck did I just get robbed? Like, what even happened? I don't do people bad. Like, I've never done bad business. Like, what the fuck?

All this shit. I was scared as fuck. I thought these guys were out to, like, kill me for a long time. I was, like, hiding out for, like, we... I mean, I'm still paranoid to this day. And, like, loud noises, scared of shit out of me sometimes. But come to find out, my fucking homie that was living there sold these dudes fake carts without me knowing.

He put, like, batteries in it instead. And so they thought they were robbing him. And then I was like, yo, it's my house. So they ended up robbing me. And they were never really after me, even. And I never saw them. again. I never heard from them or nothing. I pretty much quit selling weed after that.

That was the moment. You're like, yeah, I'm... I mean, I kind of still did for a little while, but like... Yeah, of course. You get you sell the rest of your shit. Yeah, yeah, basically. That's crazy. Yeah, bro. And what does... What is the moment like when you guys all go back to the living room? It's your boy. It's like, you know... I never went back to the living room.

Your girlfriend. Oh, you mean like that night? That night, like, you got blood on your... Like, you're covered in blood. Like, what do you guys do? It's like, I'm like, uh, I told my homie... I was like, um, go somewhere safe. I'm gonna go to my brother's house. And me and my girl at the time, we went to my brother's house and we stayed there.

And my brother's like a fucking hypochondri actor or whatever. Is that like he's scared? Like everything freaks him out. Yeah, yeah. He's like, he called the police. What? And yeah, he made like an ambulance come check out my head and all types of shit.

And like, I didn't tell him what happened. They were like asking me and I'm like, and they were like, oh, so it's probably got to do with drugs. And if you're not gonna tell us. And I was like, well, I'm just not gonna tell you. And so boom. And I lived with him for a few months. but I was like in straight hiding.

I thought these guys were out to get me. And they're going to find you some other way. Yeah, but it wasn't even like that. They were just 20-year-old. It's probably high on drugs. They just wanted a little bit of weed. It turned out to be like this big scene. They probably didn't plan on hitting me.

Yeah. You know, they probably didn't plan on anybody getting hurt. I got a big scar on the back of my head from that shit. Still. Yeah. And they like... The Puerto Riga Bar would try to show it, bro. He tried to lie enough to.

No, he could too. He could just spread it over later. Yeah. Yeah. He was like, what's up with his white kids there? Nah, yeah. It was crazy, man. That's wild, bro.

Yeah, it was crazy as fuck. Is that the closest brush with death you had, do you think? Wow. I mean, yeah, it's up there. Yeah, it's definitely up there. Like, a few couple of close incidents and, like, some cars and shit like that, right? Like, going too fast and shit like that. But never anything like that.

That's the only, like, physical altercation where I felt like, yo, this kid, I might lose my life right now. That is sketchy. And you know what the scariest thing about? that is and my brother's been robbed you and he says the same thing the scariest thing about getting robbed is whenever the other person on the other end of the gun looks nervous they had masks on so i couldn't see their face but they were like and it was like yo um if this guy slips he's gonna shoot me on accident right like if this dude gets a nerve and he just clicks his fingers they're not pros like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah everyone's kind of fine you get the shit they're out yeah yeah yeah

and you're like oh they're here for the shit but it was like these dudes might kill us bro like it felt Like, I didn't know if they was going to kill us, you know? And crazy story. I mean, I'm a grown man now. Those guys, like, if I were to meet those guys face-to-face, I'd shake their hands. And I would, you know, we'd laugh about it. Game's game. Yeah, I mean, games, game, bro.

And they were kids and I was a kid. And, like, whatever, I'm sure that they didn't like that anymore. But one of those kids passed away shortly after on just on some, like, on a car accident type shit. What the fuck. Wait, so you knew who it was? I found out who it was because on some damn, what are they called detective shit

yeah uh we took a there was a photo taken i took a photo right whenever they got in there of them kicking the door i had my phone in my hand and i just did it and i just threw my phone and so we had a picture of this kid's shoe and then um we saw the the marks on the on the door and they were air force ones

and so we just we were just sending like my brother's a shoe plug in springfield like he owns a shoe store and shit we're sending a picture to everybody being like whose air forces are these because they're like black air air air air air They were like, no, they were like sparkly. They were like different. And then somebody put us on to his Facebook profile picture.

And it was this kid. I know his name, yeah. That's crazy. RIP though. Damn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's wild, bro. Yeah, that's too much.

Like, that's like that intensity. Like, there was a kid I played ball with. Like, I was like playing soccer as a kid. And like, he was like super nice. And then he just got into like selling weed and then got into a situation. He robbed a drug dealer, killed him, life in prison. And that was it. Yeah, bro.

Like it's so quick. So quick. Yeah, it's just, it's such a shame. Yeah, man. And, like, you start living like that. And the thing is, is like, bro, you start getting around other people that are living like that. And it becomes, like, a cool thing. I was, like, getting scary when it started to become, like, I'm hanging around people who, like, got guns in their pants.

And they're, like, thinking it's cool to be hanging out on the corner and smoking. And, like, it's a cool thing. And that's whenever it starts to be like, I was like, bro, I don't belong here, bro. I'm not cool for real. I just want a little bit of money. You said this a few times already. You said, like, growing up, you were emotional. as fuck.

And everyone knew. Everybody in my whole life. How does that manifest? What does that look like? Yeah, man. Like, I was like, um, yeah, dude, I was just a crying ass kid, bro. It was hard for me to stay the night with people. I couldn't stay at night when nobody until I was like 10 or 11, which is funny because

I was running around by myself for, you know, 15 hours in a day, but I just couldn't sleep with other people's houses. Who did you miss? Um, my parents. Yeah, I would like miss me. Like dad and stepmom? Yeah, bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And, um, you know, and I was also like emotional, like, um, um, you know, and I was also like emotional, As a kid, as a 10-year-old kid on the basketball court, you know, getting frustrated with the game and crying in the huddle. Like, type of shit, I would get mad and cry and be like, I just, you know, like, why can't I do it? Like, I'm just trying to, why can't I get the ball to the rim? Like, emotional kid, bro. Everybody knew it.

And my dad, you know, there was times, like, I was, my dad, you know, I talk about him being, like, physical with me, but, like, I was getting mad at my dad and running up to him with my chest out. And what's up? Like, you know, but fuck you. don't even fucking love you like fuck you i remember my brother killed himself i'll never forget this bro my brother killed himself and it was like a week later and my dad was like on some drunk bullshit and i looked him straight in his face and i was like you're the reason that shalen killed

himself and that's like the worst thing i've ever said in my life and it's like i'm a kid and and then but my dad it was like two days later i like went to my dad and i was bawling i was telling him i'm so sorry and i didn't mean it and it's not true and he was just like i know you didn't mean it you're just like me he's like we get upset and we say shit and we don't mean it and he's like i don't i don't take it to heart and why did that come come out and then were you just angry about his passing? Yeah, you know, my brother was, you know. Who's fault? Like, who do I blame for this?

Yeah, who do I blame for this? And also, like, my brother, like, the fact of the matter is, man, is that, like, he was treated different than all of us. He was like, he, that's the brother that, my brother that killed himself is the brother that my mom had out of wedlock. So as soon as it's time to get in trouble, guess who's getting it? Shailan's getting his ass beat in front of everybody. As soon as there's anybody that I would steal cigarettes from my parents and they would blame it on him.

Like, like, there was, we would. man like he he was he was mistreated in my crib like for real and then you got like youngest child treatment like they like they like took care you a little more a little bit and then you saw what he was getting you're like oh this is fucked up yeah yeah a little bit kind of my sister really got the best like treatment from the parents she she got it the best my dad I was so young though that my brothers had already like like like my brother was I was 15 when he killed himself so I'm a freshman in high school so that's four more years I live with my dad where like it wasn't even like I never basically had a father in high school right like I had a dad and he would come to

some of my games just like that but really he was just this drunk dude that was struggling with the fact that his other kid killed himself and and and um the way it happened was just was just you know like crazy and shit so he was like struggling with that so I never really like had that um I think whenever I got older though I got like the youngest kid treatment that's whenever my dad would you know he would come to my house and we watched the game you know we was like homies and he would and you know we talked about more shit and and like I but like way more connected and shit, but growing up,

the boys kind of all got it the same. My sister's really the one that kind of got the good treatment, which is cool though. How did the rest of your siblings take it when your brother passed? Yeah, bro, so I mean, like,

they weren't around, bro. Like, I was the only one living in the house at the time. One of my brothers was in Ohio with his dad. My other brother was older and they had both, they were living like in California at the time. And so me and Shailen were spending

a lot of time together and um they don't really it's it's all different bro like i found shalen and shalen was he called me right before he died i was the last person he talked to and so um it was different as fuck like like nobody else had to experience that so i don't even know what it's like for them i i have no idea like him dying for me was so traumatic and and so many things happened like i you know i was worried that it was going to happen we had talked about it before i was hanging out with him the night before like he called me right before he did it and was like come home i want to talk to you like oh well he probably expected me to come save his life you know but i was 15 and i couldn't

help him out like when i seen him like choking i couldn't like pick him up he was too heavy and shit so it affected me way different than everybody else um i wonder that to this day i asked my sister like like what is it like because i don't know their brother died and he killed himself but like they didn't have to they didn't like it was just different bro like they they weren't necessarily around and shit their brother just kind of you know killed himself so they just kind of got that like oh yeah like we gotta be more aware of people's mental health like type situation it was never like but you you were in it yeah and my dad was too so like when i found my brother i screamed for my dad and he was the second person to see and like he's the one that cut him down off the rope so so he was

like that affected him too i got to see how that affected him and and i see myself in that a lot like you know there's like there's like some shit you can't escape when you see some shit like that like it fucks you up right like psychologically so So like it's honestly kind of a thing that me and my siblings don't talk about that much. You know, I don't even know, they might talk amongst themselves about it, but they don't bring it up around me that much

probably just because it's so, it's just such a sore, crazy subject. And then if they want to fucking hear about it, they just turn on YouTube and look it up. And you're already predisposed to being emotive and emotional. Like, not only are you emotional, but now you experience this traumatic thing.

Like, did you and your pops ever talk about it after? Like, when you guys were hanging out? Yeah, not really real. Never comes up. Well, I mean, I tried to talk about it with him, but he would like, he was, if I'm emotional, man, he was times ten, like, he would just tell me, shut. Like, he would start crying, and be like, shut up, I can't. I can't. We never talked about it. Like, he would push his emotions down more.

He would say, stop talking about this. I don't want to cry. You're going to make me cry. I'm crying. Stop. Wow. I get it. It was bad.

He'd be like, yeah, it sucked. It sucked. And, like, let's not talk about it. So. And was this your brother, is this your same mom? Yes, yeah, yep. And how did she handle it? Like, was she...

Yeah, I'll never forget this, bro. So I call my mom, so boom. Okay, so long story short, the night before, my brother, my mom is with her boyfriend, and they're in this big fight, and my brother comes in between me, he's like, let's go beat Nick's ass. That's my mom's boyfriend's name.

I'm like, all right, bet. We go out there, my brother beats the shit out of this guy, and then he, like, peas all over. It was, like, close. It was funny. It was all this shit. We go home, and I realize I'm like, something's off.

Like, they're high. Like, they're on something, like, so I can just tell. And so my mom was like Going through this relationship shit Where she was like kind of She felt like she was enabling my brother To be a hoodlum right at the time

Like now my mom's an amazing person now She's a great grandma She's like sober all that shit She's great So we talk about it now But back then you know She was just kind of in the middle of it I remember bro calling my mom

So boom My brother calls me He's like come home and do your chores And I'm like Shailin bro Fuck you like it's Saturday or whatever day It's like I'm not coming bro Like I was just out Hanging out with my home

He's like stop He's like bro come on please and I'm like oh something's wrong I hang up the phone I call my dad I'm like what's up with shalin he's like he's pissed off like don't even fuck with him and I'm like no you fucking idiot like what the fuck like he's he's like suicidal right now like he's been talking about it all week so boom I come home I'm like go ask my dad where's he he's like he walked out back I run out back I'm like running out back there's like a garage I see him he's like choking and he's like got he's like had hung himself and the chair's like falling down and shit like that and he's like

choking but he's not like totally dead yet he's like his eyes are glossy and shit like that and he's like pretty much dead, but he's got his hands like he was trying to save himself, like he regretted it. And so I'm like, I grab him by the feet and I'm like 15 and he probably weighs like 180 and I'm like, I'm like weak 15 year old. I'm like trying to pick him up. I can't pick him up. I'm screaming for my dad.

My dad comes out there. I'll never forget it. He like grabs the rope and he punches it and it snaps. Can you imagine that? Boom. My brother hits the ground. I run inside. I grabbed the phone.

It was a cord phone. We had a cord phone at the time. My mom, my stepmom is in a full body brace because she had her ribs taken out. and so boom I'm like trying to beat around the bush I'm like my brother because I don't want her to get all freaked out and I'm like I can't leave the room

because it's a cord phone and I'm like my brother tried to hang himself boom fucking she gets up she runs out there it's like all hell is starting to break loose I run out to the front I'm screaming and I'm like my friends are there and I'm like telling him like Shailin fucking just killed himself and I run out to the front

and my homie lives across the street and I see his dad he's the first responder his dad comes running out and his boxers bro fucking dick flying around like this growing out man he got defibrillators this dude his shit flopping

I will never forget that shit I seen it from a block away I'm like damn all right so he comes his wife's pretty too her name Kim I'm like damn alright okay we get that mystery solved right so but he's got

defibrillators bro and he's running across the street and he's shaking him up while he's running across the street and I'll never forget he like runs down boom hit Shailin's he doesn't come alive I go down there I'm like grabbing Shailin by the head and I'm like fucking, you know, begging him to come alive.

And he's like, boom, pumping his chest. And he won't come alive. And then so I go into the front. And the first person I call is my sister. And I'm like, hey, this just happened. She's like, oh my God, call mom. And she had to, like, pull over another shit. And I call my mom and dude, I'll never forget this.

Your question was, how did my mom handle it? My mom gets to the crib. She doesn't, she, they don't, my mom and dad hated each other. I've never seen them hug. I've never even seen them high five. I've never seen them look at each other for more than two seconds. I've never seen that. and they fucking hated each other

and my mom ran straight to my dad and gave him a hug and she went to the front yard and she started punching her hands like this and she was being like, why, why, bro? She wouldn't stop. The flesh and her knuckles started flying in the air. She had blood on her face

from punching her fingers like this and the flesh just going everywhere. I remember seeing my mom's like bones and her fingers like moving like this. Like it was crazy. That's how she dealt with it. And then she went and she slipped into it and both of my parents after that for like five

six years were like really bad drug addicts after that after that I pretty much didn't have parents like my stepmom tried her hardest and she was like doing her thing but she was working and my dad like quit working completely and like you know turned into this dude that like got his money from the government and shit and yeah and my mom kind of took care of us from then on and boom and then my real mom got sober about like shit maybe like six years later she's been sober for like five years or something wow yeah and did that event help her get sobering anyway had to, right? I don't know. I've never asked her that, but like, had to, right? Because, like, that was, like, I think it pulled her out of a crazy, crazy, crazy, shitty situation, and, like, loki put my dad into one

and, like, traded their spots kind of, you know? But, yeah, crazy story, huh? Fuck, dude. Jesus Christ! God damn cut the tension here with the night. This is a comedy show. Yeah, and then after that, my brother got up, and he was like,

I'm joking. He's like, hey, kids it's me I bet you thought that it was bad It was in practical jokers The whole time Oh fuck

Ashton could you come walking down The corner He's like ah You got punked You got punt Bro Yeah bro It was crazy man

How did you What was your Did you have Did they Was there any Like did anyone come to you Was there like a teacher That was like

You went through some shit You should talk to someone No bro I was uh I started like writing poems And shit a lot then And I was like I still played football

And all that shit Like I was on the team Like I was in organized sports Thank God for that Because I think that took my mind off it a lot but bro no i have a memory of that year my freshman year there's a teacher her name's miss to be fucking exact all right maybe you don't put her name in that but um i was

sending her poems bro like i went back and read them as a 20 year old like they were being like i was basically in these poems being like hey my dad's beating the fuck out of me at home um everybody's drunk and doing drugs and my brother killed himself and i watched him die and i need help and she would be like, cool poem last night, Dave. She would be like, hey, I didn't get to read that one. I'll catch the next one. And I'll send them to her nightly. Begging for help, bro.

Like, basically doing everything except saying, will you please help me? And they never gave a fuck, bro. Nobody ever gave a fuck for real. I think that, like, there were some teachers in my school that were, like, guilty of bullying my brother, and they, like, apologize to me and shit. And that time I made school even worse because then I'm coming to school every day

and I'm thinking, like, oh, you bullied my brother? And, like, you feel so guilty that you want to apologize to me? Fuck you. Yeah, exactly. And so I was like that. I was like, fuck you. I skipped school, bro. I never really went.

That was my freshman year. I turned into this kid that I would, I only, like, the cop come to the school in my sophomore year and was like, I had a warrant for my arrest just for like traffic violations because that I didn't pay. And he was like, hey man, if you play football, then we want to arrest you. What? And so I basically was this kid that got away with never going to class and never doing any of the shit that I had to do because I played sports

and like I was I was the quarterback and I was the leader of the team and shit like that so they were just giving me like I like bro I missed 80% of my classes in my senior year and I graduated like I have a high school diploma and I had like these and shit like I never went to school I never turned in my work it was just football and basketball and shit just they just let me be and they just let me kind of do my thing and I think also

nobody ever talked to me about it but everybody kind of knew like hey this is what's going on today or so I was like be easy on them I would go to the librarian sleep for fucking four hours every day. You know, I would, I would, like, I would get lunch and go eat it, like, somewhere else, like, type of. So you were nice of football, though? Not really. Not, like, I was nice, like, at my school. Like, I got, like, the touchdown record and shit.

But, like, I was class one. Like, I would have been sitting on the bench anywhere, for real. Whoa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is crazy. Yeah. So were you into music at that point? Yeah, yeah.

I released my first song when I was, like, 16. Yeah. Kind of in the wake of that experience. And that was, like, kind of something that, like, parents, like, hated on me for. And they, like, didn't want their kids to hang out on me because I was making rap music. And so at that point, you're probably, you're into Mac Miller then. Come on, man. Yeah, how'd you know that?

Come on. Huge, massively. Yeah. But, like, that was your guy even... Like, raised me. Yeah, bro. Like, like, I loved Eminem back then. I loved Pink Floyd back then.

I loved Kurt Cobain to the day, even still. These are people that are, like, I don't want to say I allies, but I looked up to you. Mac Miller was definitely one. That was the one. I'm smoking cigarettes in the bathroom. I'm locking the door, man. I'm fucking turning on, I'm making a steamy in there. I'm turning on miscalls by Mac Miller.

Baby, I got miscalls and emails, what? I'm like, what, 15? Right. Feeling like, man, Mac, me too, bro. What's up, guys? We're going to take a break really quick because I got to tell you about a dirty little secret. Okay? The insurance industry doesn't want you to know this.

Well, basically, what the insurance companies do is that they profit by holding on to your money as long as possible. You pay them every month. And then eventually when an accident happens, they try to deny or delay your claim so that they can keep their profits going. I mean, it goes even worse. When in court, the insurance companies want jurors to think that the at-fault driver, you know, a mom that rear-ends someone, you know, she's a single mom. And they think that she is going to be paying the verdict amount. Meanwhile, it's really the insurance companies who are going to be covering the costs.

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that energy? Uh, um, I, I've never, ever, it's always just been my own I've never felt like that. No, I was kind of like a lyrical rapper. I was kind of like trying to tell like a story I remember I had a song where I was like, I was like 15 and I was like, I was like, uh, fucking

it's dark walking with their headphones on, you got a problem like type shit like that like trying to paint some picture. I was never, I never really like took after anybody specifically. I think like everybody was just kind of my like muse for like music. I was just making music like everybody's influence.

Right. At the time. But I was making rap music because I wanted people to think that was cool. Yeah. Did it work? I don't think so.

I'm pretty sure it didn't work. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't think it worked. But did you collect, like, did you connect with other artists? Like, other musicians? There was nothing like that where I'm from. No, not even one of the kid doing rap music. I had a buddy that lived with me

that is the one that got me into it and he's from Jacksonville, Florida. Or he, like, moved to Missouri and then moved back and then came to Duval. Yeah. And that was, like, a best friend of mine and he's the reason that I started. but no, there was nobody.

There was not a single person in my school that made music, not even one person. I think the only other people that made music were my older brothers eight years before me. Like, there was nobody. Did you ever hit them? Like, yo, I want to make music. Like, do you have any advice?

Like, did you ever reach out to your brothers? Bro, they didn't fuck with me. Really? They did not fuck with me. Yeah, that's funny now because I don't hold grudges like for that shit. Like, it's cool. I think you work towards that.

Like, they did not fuck with me. They did not take me serious. They did not fuck with me. I didn't get my family. My only brother that supported me was the one that's close to my age. I did not get my family support until overdose dropped. Like, no, my dad was even being like,

yo, it's time to like, you're 24. It's time to, like, stop doing music and start, like, trying to get a real job. My brothers, anytime I would talk about it, they wouldn't even want to, nah, they didn't fuck with me, bro. I remember my oldest brother. It made me cry one time. He was like, you don't know the fucking difference

between a hook in a burst. And I'm like, what the fuck? Like, I've been, I'm like 18 and I'm like, I've been doing this for three years. Yeah, I do. Like, what are you talking about? But he was, like, disrespectful. So, yeah, they never fuck with me, and that's the complete truth.

And they can suck my dick to this day for that. All of them. They support me now, but they can all suck my motherfucking dick, man. So the brother closest to you in age, what does he do? He owns a shoe store. Yeah, he's a fucking gangster. Yeah, he's the shit. His name's Jamie.

The company is called Jamie's shoes. It's insane. He hooks you up? Man, I wish he did hook me up, man. Give me a discount, James. I pay full price. So you hook him up. But I'm stacked, though.

Like, I got a badass shoe collection. Wow. That's it, bro, I'm like, this is just insane. So by the time you get to Springfield, how old are you? I think I'm 19. I might be 20 years old the first time I moved to Springfield. Okay. Yeah, and I'm the only kid that never went home.

Every other kid went home. I'm the only one that never went back home. Since 18 years old, I've been out and by myself. And the plan was music. The plan was motherfucking music, man. I was so wrapped up in selling weed, though. I thought I was going to be Escobar. Like, I literally was thinking like I was going to be this dude

that had like millions of dollars at 40 years old from selling weed. Like, I'm not joking. I really did think that. There was like, I was taking, like, I took a flight whenever I was, like, 22 from Missouri to L.A. to, like, check out, like, a weed warehouse. And these kids had, like, yachts and Lamborghinis and shit. Like, I was thinking, like...

This could be it. I was thinking, this is what I'm... So for a little bit weed, like, the drug game was first. Music was kind of second. Right, but I was doing it every day still, you know? Of course, because you love it. Yeah, but it was kind of like... Did you have a plan three?

Nah. Terrible at having jobs, bro. I always knew that I was going to be a writer though Like I've always loved writing I've always like I used to tell myself like I'm either gonna I mean I was edging being a fucking loser dude Like I wasn't until the shit started working was like last year bro I was like I was straight smacking that shit

And with not letting it come I was I was edging being a loser bro I was 24 25 and and nothing was working And I was releasing music that nobody was listening to And I was making TikToks and shit like that And like it just really wasn't working until I started getting paid on TikTok, and then it was like, oh, okay. And I put weed down, and I'm like, oh, I can make internet money.

And I started making internet money. And I was like, oh, you know, I went straight from weed money to internet money, which is like the same thing, basically. Internet money is stupid, you know? And so I just kind of made that transition. And then... And you're dropping a song a day. A song a week.

Or a song a week, sorry? Every Friday. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I dropped like 250 songs in a row. Like the Rust model in a way? Yeah, I guess, yeah, basically. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, I never really, like, there's, I just, I always just did it, man.

I don't know, man, there was just something in me that did it. It was never really like, I'd never thought, oh, I'm going to keep going and keep going until, like, it just did. It just kind of happened like that. And what was the first song you dropped? Like, how many songs did it take until you got one that you were like, yo, we're fucking, we got something? Like, we got, overdoses the first one. So how many songs in is that? I mean, like, recorded or posted?

Posted. $300? $250? 300, yeah. But, like, I had songs that had, like, 50K and 100K, and I was, like, feeling like, yo, like, take me serious. Yeah. Like, I was feeling like that.

Take me serious. But it was nothing for real. You know, it wasn't until, like, it wasn't until overdose connected with people. And the thing is, is I changed my style five songs before overdose. I started, like, making music for myself. And I started, like, I quit rapping and quit making music trying to be cool. And I started making music, like, that I wanted to hear. Literally, probably five, maybe 10 songs before.

overdose and and then I really fell into my land and it was like then I was in the studio every day for 12 hours a day and I was spending all my money like I I ended up bro imagine like I'm not selling weed anymore but I'm still making probably 3,500 a week which is where I'm from that's a hell of money but I'm spending it all in the studio I'm spending I'm spending a thousand dollars three days in a row in the studio doing 10 hours a day and I'm like leaving out of my truck and I'm like sleeping with my girlfriend at her house and I'm like eating food from her work because I'm spending every bit of my money in the studio. So my friends would be like, what the fuck? Like, you're making money, bro. Like, we're not making near as much money. Like,

where the fuck's your money at? What the fuck, dude? And I would be like, I'm in the studio. I've been in the studio, but, but it felt like a waste. I never felt like I was investing in myself. Everybody always made me feel like it was a waste. And I always felt like I was addicted to the studio. It made it feel like a bad vibe for me. Like it almost was like, you know, like as if I was going and like drinking or something. Like, I would go to the studio because it would be like my getaway spot and like I felt cool in the studio and so I was like low-key addicted to going. I would have 200 bucks and my light would be due tomorrow and it's 175 or the studio I can go for two hours for 200 and I'll go for two hours for 200 every fucking

time. And so it didn't feel like I was reinvesting. It kind of felt like I was being stupid but you know fucking worked. I think that's just like I think that's an important lesson though like you put out you said 300 songs almost probably damn near before anyone really gave a fuck. Yeah yeah. Yeah, yeah, and honestly, bro, yeah, yeah. And, like, I don't know, man, really gave a fuck is a term. Like, I don't even think that, I don't think overdose made people really give a fuck. I think overdose was, like, the song that made me connect with people and stuff, but I think it was, like, the song in two and three after that that made people really in, like, the video.

And I think people give a fuck now because, like, I go to my shows, bro, and there's 500 people in front of me or there's 1,000 people in front of me, and they all look just like me. You know what I mean, bro? They all look just like me, bro. It's like, you couldn't tell the difference. Who's performing tonight, you know? And we all got the same trauma. And we all, like, we're just, we're these people that, like, you know, I've always said this since I was a kid. If you grow up super, super dirt poor, you get, you know, and you get an attention, a certain type of attention from the government, government assistant.

You get a certain type of attention from, you know, teachers and shit like that. They know, okay, this guy's like, you know, you might get, what? Whether it be good or bad, you get a certain type of attention. And then when you're rich as fuck, you get a certain type of attention of like, okay, this kid gets treated like this at school. And, you know, and the government treats them like this as far as like tax breaks and shit like that. But when you're right in the middle, you don't really get, it just kind of go under the radar. It's like we're ghosts.

Like people like me have always just been like ghosts. Like I grew up kind of shitty, but not as shitty as some of my friends. I grew up, you know, I had like a fucking American Apostle shirt on still, right? Like I, you know, I was getting cool hand me down and shit like that. Like, but, but it was always like we were, I was ghost mode. It was like, I didn't matter to motherfuckers, you know, there was people in my school that had it worse to me, and they would get better treatment, and there was people that had it better for me, and they would get better treatment.

And I always just got, you know, middle class treatment. And when I go to a show, I'm like, oh, this is a thousand people that are just like me. And so it feels like if that's what feels like people are starting to care, you know what I mean? It doesn't feel like a song ever did it. I really, I really believe that like it's more than just like a song. It's like people started to care whenever they like started to hear the story or they started to relate to me. You know, they flip me on the TV and they're like, oh shit. Like I was just hanging with a guy just like that yesterday or oh shit.

You know, there's things that have happened to me in my life where it's like my close circle, man, they know. And so I'm like an open book on the internet. I might get on here and tell y'all how my fucking brother killed himself, right? Like I'm an open book and there's people that see that and they're like, oh, like, you know, they see themselves in that. or maybe they want to be more open or whatever. And I think that's really where the connection started. Were you closed off at any point when you were making music, like those first 300 songs,

was there part of you that was like, man, I want to talk about the real shit, but like I... Definitely, bro. One of the reasons why I left my long-term girlfriend is because she made me feel like... And this wasn't her fault. This was like an internal battle that I was struggling with, but I thought that she made me feel like

she wanted me to be a gangster. And so it was like I had to hang out with dudes that were, you know, gang-banging. Like, I had to make rap music. I had to do these things. I had to talk in a certain way because that's what I thought she wanted. That's not what she wanted from me, I'm sure. We were just kids, but that's what I thought she wanted from me. So at that time, like, I was more closed off and I was, I was struggling with, like, pride shit, you know?

Of course. I was like. Yeah, that ego is like, yo, you're hard, you're tough. You're going to fuck with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're cool. And my boys were, like, were, like, really about that. I was never really about that, but they really were.

So it was like it made me just feel cooler and different. And also, my best friend bought me a fucking badass 370 Z, like a bad ass. Badass 2017, 370D, because he was loaded from selling the wheat. And so, like, I'm driving like a fucking badass car, make a rap music. So you have everything. You should be... Thought so. You should be good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you weren't being real. But I wasn't being real. You know, it's funny. I remember I met Waka Flaka. I did a rap show. I opened for him. I pushed my way to the back.

I basically made him give me a conversation. And he was like, um, and he was like, uh, I was like complaining. And I was like, man, I didn't have a great set tonight. And he's like, you sound like a bitch. Imagine Waka Flaka telling you you sound like a bitch I'm like oh really walk Actually you're right I do I'm like oh really walkie

And he's like yeah man he's like look at you bro You sound like a bitch he's like You got you got all these things that you want And he's like it's going good for you And he's like you don't see the bigger picture He said you're never going to go anywhere With that girlfriend that you have He said you gotta leave your girlfriend if you want to be anything

How did he know? Just from the conversation that we had You know about like just certain things And I never brought her up But he could see that I was trying to to be cool to impress the people that I was around. And he basically was like, cut that shit out. If you ever want to make it, you got to cut that shit out.

I mean, he's, like, and his mom is a boss. Like, she runs it. Yeah, yeah. And she's extreme, she's brilliant. And he's smart like her. Yeah, he's huge too. You met him? Oh, yeah, he's like, six, seven.

Yeah, yeah. I'll give him buckets, though. I would give him buckets. I would give him buckets. He literally goes hard in the money. In the paint. Like, that's like his thing. I don't know if you know that.

I created the pain, though. I'm telling you, bro. I'm giving him. buckets, no, for real. What was your highest scoring game in high school when you were playing? In basketball? Yeah. Man, 40?

Fuck out of here. There's no way. Pull up the huddle. I had 11 threes and one. No. In one game one time. Yeah, yeah. Hey, I think you can't pull up my huddle, but you're only going to see a football clip.

Somebody pulled up the huddle. Yeah, we really need that. Look me up. I think I might have a basketball clip on there. This is crazy. I'm from such a small school, bro, that this is not a big thing. We were brand new on huddle. Like, we tried to make it a thing.

Yeah, no, A-V-R-U-I Huddle. Yeah, where are we at? Whoa. That's you? That's me, bro. Yo, zoom in on that. Zoom in on that, bro.

Yo, that's hilarious. This kid's fat now. And he's rich, and I think he's living good, too. Okay, so hold on. Look up, yeah. Just search, don't even take football.

High school career home run. What's this? Oh, shit. Look at you on Yahoo. Oh, tight. That's recent. Damn, no, the game that I'm talking about is I'm a freshman

And we're playing in this tournament And, um Dude, I was on fire 11 3s, boom Uh, my team went to just screaming Shoot it, shoot it, it was just going in Just going in I'll never forget that, yeah

But I quit my senior year because, um, I was a quitter, lokey So like, you know, that's the thing too Is that I would get like mad and leave That's like kind of thing You get emotionally, you know, fuck this, fuck all you people on it Yeah, um, but one time bro, my last basketball game

ever, I had to sit the first quarter because I was in trouble. And then the second quarter I scored 25. And I was not passing a rock. And then at halftime, I go down to the fucking locker room and this kid's mouth and off, we get in a little scruffle. And I ended up putting him a choke and shit. And the coach is like, you're not going to fucking play another second tonight. And I left and never came back.

And what year was that holding? Oh, that was 2016. I was a senior. Wow. And then one time, bro, there's this photo of me. And my only dunk ever. It was like a crazy little white boy dunk. Like barely get the ball over the room.

and like, yeah, like, grab it and just naked right away. And it was, I got a steal. We were up like 20, and I got a steal at half court right before the game, or right before half time. And I go up and I white boy dunk it, and my coach screams at me and grabs me by my wrist in front of everybody. And he's like, we don't fucking play like that. And shit like that and takes me downstairs and screaming.

That shit feels racist, bro. I'm telling you, man. Yeah, right? I'm telling you, man. Yeah, we play a high IQ game. We play a smart game. Yeah, man. Yeah, man.

I actually told him AI was my favorite basketball player in high school, and he goes, AI wasn't a basketball player. I bet his favorite was fucking John Stockton or some white dude Is John Stockton white? Yeah no Is he?

He likes Is he? Oh yeah Yeah I bet that's his favorite Like Larry Bird Yeah Larry He's like man

You gotta be more like Larry Steve Kerr was just such a White chocolate He's a playmaker No that guy He probably didn't even like him Too much spice

Yeah no white chocolate That's a black man That's a black man From Belle Bell West Virginia He is? You fuck with the NBA? A little bit

I grew up going to like magic games I saw Dwight When the Eastern Conference I wasn't at the game. I was at game five or game four in Orlando. That's shit in my mind. That's crazy.

And I ran into Dwight Howard at a festival. No way. And I was like shaking. I was like, all my friends were like, Dwight Howard? I was like, yeah,

but that's Superman. Oh, fuck. Yeah, yeah. How do you all not have any more respect for Superman? I was like, I was going crazy. Man. Do you still follow it today?

A little bit. Who's your team from Missouri? I just, we don't have a team, but I just like players, though. I've never been in the NBA. I'm a football. I'm a Packers fan, like die hard. That's my shit.

Right. But I like players in the NBA. I met Michael Beasley the other night. Oh, wow. Super cool bees. Yeah. Super cool bees. Yeah, dude.

He's a real one. He's a real one. He's a real one. I think he's a good dude. He played for the magic, I think, for a little bit. He played for everybody. Yeah. I looked him up afterwards.

I'm like, damn, they say not to look up your homies, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm kind of getting used to that. I'm going to look you up after this. Oh, please do. Can we Google you? Yeah, I mean, Miles left us. Did you play sports in high school?

I did play sports. What'd you play? Play soccer. Really? All the way through. Oh, that's like real ass, like cardio shit. Oh, yeah, yeah, it's just running. It's just running.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We didn't even have soccer. Really? Just baseball football and basketball. I bet you. And we only have baseball like a couple years in high school. They had soccer at town over, though. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, yeah. How'd you know that? When the Latinos pull up, bro, come on, man. You see them. That's what I played with a little bit growing up. Like, I would go play pickup games, and they would all call me, yo, David Beckham, yo. No, that's how funny.

Yeah, and they would all wear, they were, they're all, like, wearing jeans and shit. Yeah, it was awesome. That's so sick. We played a game one time. We went down to Honduras when I was in high school. And when you're in, when we were in Honduras, we were down there for like a little, like, medical mission trip type situation. So we're down there and we, they set up a game with, like, all the high school kids from my high school. And then we play all the Hondurans.

Oh, shit. Bro, these boys fucked us up. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Hondurans specifically, bro. They are, they are brutal, bro. Really? And they're nice.

Like, they're fucking, they were like, crazy finesse. And then they would just like put an elbow and you're just hard as fuck. Bro, we used to drive by the soccer field and hit them with paintball games. You asshole. You're in the back to everybody in the soccer fields. No, we're all right though.

My senior year, my senior we want a state championship. Oh, shit, you're lying. Come on, bro. That's what I was low. It was a low A. We had a little school. In five years, though, it was class five. Yeah, yeah, of course.

And I scored five goals. Ten years, you was MVP. Yeah, I was on one of the team. Yeah. Everyone else got hurt, so it was one against 11. That's crazy, man. I'm about to start making up stories about my shit right now. Yeah, you should, bro. Lying is fire, bro. You got to start it.

Lying is fire, dude. You gotta try it. That shit. That's sick as hell. That's crazy. You thought that was it. You thought that was it. You thought old boys. He thought they pulled up. That's crazy. Yeah, yeah, yo, uh, Abe wanted to see, see me in high school. Would you mind Googling Mark Gagnon? Orangewood? Mark Gagnon. That's your last name? Gagnon, en Francie. How do you say it like, you know, say it like white again? gagging on. I'm so sorry, bro.

I had to be a comedian, bro. That you had to be, bro. Hold on, no, no, no, go back. Oh, my fucking God. Pull your hair down. Hit the images again. Hit the images again. Yes, that's...

Who's that? Is this all you? Yeah. Wait. Hold, hit the next one. Wait. A if you're going to like that one. No shot.

Mini man. Ways death upon me. What the fuck we're talking about, man? But hold on, go back to... Dude, you look like the dude that controls the fish. Wait, who's that? What's his name? Who controls a fish?

Aquaman Yeah That's crazy You click on that top link though Click on that top link right there Oh shit Oh my god man And you oh oh that you bro

Your boys right here in front of science This ain't high school is it Yeah that's high school is it? Yeah we're I'm telling you bro we're What fuck is this? This looks like Cruz No no that That was the coach's kid That was the coach's kid

That was the coach's kid No way bro That's crazy wow That's wild He's right here That's crazy you're the face of the team huh I mean, a million-dollar smile.

That's come on. That boy's like, King! That's crazy, bro. Right on. No way with the comedy shit. Hang on. Yeah.

Pull up a, can we see a bit? I mean, we can't. That's the thing. I actually haven't put out that much stand-up. Oh, all right. And maybe...

Do you a bit right now. Let's do what I know. I normally do it for money, but... But I'll be honest, like, I've been in my head a little bit because I put so much pressure on the jokes from like,

I really want to put out stuff that I think is really good. I want it to be really funny. Like, I want it to be fucking, you know, I want everyone to see him. Right. Oh, he's the one. I could tell you're not that funny.

So we got that out of the way. So we got that out of the way. No, it's fine. But it's like, I just said, bro. I've always said, bro. I put that pressure on myself. That's got to be the most pressure job of all time. It's trying to make people laugh, right?

Like, I can't even imagine it. It's like, you got fucking, you got people and, you know, firemen and shit. That's pressure. You know what I mean? Yeah. I put them a little higher up. I mean, true. There is a little.

Okay, but let's put an, all right. There's anxiety for sure. How about this? You go, sorry to all the firemen out there, by the way. You go with a hose to put a fire out. Okay. You might have a chance. Yeah.

Put the fireman on the stage with a mic, and he's not making nobody. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's going to be tough. It's going to be tough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But for real, I've always thought, like, naturally when I'm on stage, like, I just like to tell jokes just. That's the thing.

You kind of do stand-up. Like, yeah, but it's just more of, like, there's no pressure on it. I'm not supposed to be funny. If you don't think my joke's funny Then like that's funny Right comedians will do that Like sometimes But there's pressure on you bro

Comedians will do a song And everyone's like oh He's actually good I mean yeah you got like Sandler but like there's a bunch of people Like do songs every now And he's yeah oh shit He's good

Yeah yeah Like I know comics that'll just sing randomly Oh for real Like they grew up like in a church Like in like a Southern Baptist church And in the middle of a bit They'll just be like And you're like damn

Did you just hit that And everyone goes crazy Yeah I'm curious for you even like When you first started Selling out shows Like when did you actually start When did you

start doing shows and then when of these people start actually showing up. Yeah, I did shows. I was like a ticket peddler for like five years. You know what that means? Like I was the dude, like ticket peddlers on small shows are like the openers that are local that have to sell all the physical tickets to get to people to come. So I was really just trapping tickets, selling tickets for like, I opened for like, you know, fucking like every rapper that came to Springfield.

And I was just pedaling tickets. So I would do that and I would play like sold out shows because it would be like the MGK show and it's only a 1,500 room so they're sold out or it would be Waka and I tell you money one time shout out there. A lot of people that I open for Afro-Man, fucking Soldier Boy, goddamn, the baby, fucking...

Did you get to kick it with anything? Hell not. I made myself get in those rooms sometimes but no, they wouldn't never let you in the room. You're not allowed anywhere near them. Like, fuck no. And we're a ticket peddler. So I did that for a long time, but this is my first tour ever. This is the first time I've ever left my hometown

and went and did shows and they're selling out they're all pretty much almost all sold out except for like a couple of dates Is it blown your mind when you go on stage and you tell them like yeah I'm gonna play a song and they know which one it is

and then they know the words? Yeah bro it blows me away yeah bro it blows me away it must right that shit is crazy as fuck dude it's like it's insane as fuck bro I don't even know how to describe it I there's like I wonder how like

fucking people like Taylor Swift feel. Like, how do you feel, man? Because I'm like, this is only a thousand people in front of me, and this is, like, the craziest thing of all time. Yeah. I'm, like, singing a song about, like, my dad drinking himself to death. There's some, like, super personal shit. And there's, like, people crying in the crowd, like, singing it. And I'm like, wait, like, what the, it's the craziest thing, bro. I don't know if I'll ever get used to it. I don't even get it. Because you're putting shit out online. It's getting views. You see comments. But to actually see people reacting, must be a very different experience. It's so different, bro. And it's nothing like the internet

in person it's nothing like the internet it's like it's just i don't know bro yeah it's the internet also like makes it feel like almost i always thought like there would be like this pressure but like i'm so lucky that i can just be myself that like in person there's no pressure it's like i'm nervous as fuck i'm puking before every show but there's no pressure to be anybody but myself because it's like you you bought a ticket to come watch me be me and i'm just gonna be me and it's like I don't know how to fucking be anybody else. So I don't like feel this pressure, but, you know, you get up there and you, and you see these. It's like, I also never really idolized a person. There was never a person that I like idolized, you know, or like, I never even really thought

about famous people like that because it was always so far out of reach. Like, you don't, you don't get famous in Pierce City, Missouri. You don't play college sports. You don't get famous. You don't, you know, work in the music industry. You don't, there's things that you don't do. You don't go get office jobs. You're not an accountant. There's no accountants. There's no, like, you fucking work at a farm you're a teacher, you're a nurse or you work at the gas station or grocery store Like no one made it out?

I don't know anybody Miles could you pull that up actually the Pierce City Missouri Wiki? Yeah, Piercedy Missouri man I'd be so curious enough There's a band from like back in the day that did like a few shows

with Florida Georgia Carolina a country band but Nothing even like that must have been the crazy shit Look up like Pierce City How could you find like people that have done cool shit there? 2003 tornado was crazy. That shit fucked my house up.

Really? I'm glad it did. I mean. A list of sun downtowns. Damn. You know what that means? Yeah. Yeah, bro.

When the sun go down. It's terrible. It's not like that anymore, but yeah. Back in the day. When I was going up, there was a sign there that said shit like that. They ended up taking it down. Like in the city? Yeah, bro.

A sign? Yeah. What? All right, so let's click on some. Fear City, Missouri. What is it? Oh, we got a ragtime composer. Oh, this is from like back in the day.

Whoa, this is actually bad fucking ass. That's crazy. Wait, Theron? Who are these people? This is a writer for the Monnet Times. That don't fucking count. An American? What's that?

She's famous for being old. She's 100. Well, then fuck that too. Jack Goodman is currently the chief judge. That don't count either right? Missouri Southern District. I guess it kind of does. American lawyer and judge before being elected.

The House of Representatives. All right, boom. She's from Pierce City. First woman to serve on the House committee. She's from Pierce City, you swear to God. Wow. Army National Guard, Major, who served as a chief of national guard. All right, shout to him.

That's cool. But why are they hating on you, bro? 100% racism right there. We need it. Yeah, why the fuck I wasn't on that? Right? Well, I haven't made it out yet. Nah, come on.

I haven't made it out yet, dude. I mean, like, bro, like, what's success to you? I mean, like, my answer is very gay. It's very dumb. What is it? Like, it's like, can I afford to? to support my family, my wife, my baby. Just them, not your brother and sister and family.

That's the thing, me, mom. We have a very different experience. Like, of course, if my siblings needed it. Oh, but they're cool. They're like, everyone's kind of doing their thing. They're okay. Shout out to that. It's awesome.

But, like, that's a pressure that I think a lot of people that grow up in, like, upper class or upper middle class environments don't realize. Yeah. Like, I only really have to look out for, like, me. Yeah, yeah. My family, like, my, like, wife and kid. Right.

And then, like, if I wanted to, like, buy my dad a boat. Right, but just some leisure shit. You know what I mean? I don't have to worry about like, oh, my sister is going to be homeless. Yeah, yeah. And like that's such a pressure off of me. Yeah, that's fucking dope. That's crazy.

It's like, that's not something I have to think about that you and a lot of people in your environment probably have to think about more. No doubt. Yeah, yeah. So like... I spend more money on my family than me easily. Probably. You got so many people. You got like a lot of mouths to feed.

But honestly, bro, like, you know, my family's like, they're cool too, though. Like, like, they're great. You know, it's not like my sister wouldn't be homeless. Like, she would have figured it out. No, of course. but it's like, yo, let me just take the weight off of you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I got it.

My family doesn't have, like, the weight as much. And, of course, if they're in that situation, like not in a question. Yeah. But it just hasn't come to that. Thank God, you know. So just taking care of your wife. Taking care of the family and then being able to have freedom. Type.

To do what I want to do. Like, I can go on the road, do some comedy, dope. I can do some podcasts, hang out with cool people, interesting topics and dive deep on that shit. Yeah. And then be able to kind of express myself freely, and then ideally make enough money from it to support my family and still live a good life.

Boom. That's all it is. That sounds like success. And at this point, I'm like, I feel like I'm kind of at that point. Like, my threshold is pretty low. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I don't need the fucking 100 mil.

Like, if it happens, great. But, like, I'm not crazy stressed about it. Like, I don't buy dumb shit. Like, I don't buy, like, you know. I just bought two Harleys in one week. But, hey, the thing is, like, I don't spend money anywhere except a fucking bar, casino. And, like, every once in a while on some type of fast vehicle. Okay.

So, let's rewind about it. back a little bit. What Harleys? I have a classic Road King. Hell yeah. It's like a 2010. It's fucking badass. It's like it's like the real deal big 900 pound bike. Stock or you you you you add a lot? It's stock. I just got this. I just bought two like these are my first two Harleys ever. Oh really? Yeah I've always run motorcycles but I've never owned a Harley and then I was in Miami the other day and I'm like fuck man I'm not going to lie I hit I won 25,000 at the casino and I was like I want a car here and I don't have a driver's license.

Still? Yeah. Yeah, to this day. But you know how to draw it. Of course, come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why don't you get a license? Man, you know what, man.

Can I get my lawyer on the home? I'm just kidding. I don't know. There's like some shit going on that I got to like figure out. Fair. But I was in Miami and I bought a Harley because I was like, I need a car here. So I just got that like three days ago. And what's that hard?

That's just like a... That is a street glide and it's a police edition and it's all black and it's got a badass Sissy bar and like, like apes? That's fire. Yeah, it's sick as fuck. I mean, so we're not so different, you and I. Because, like, when I first kind of like started figuring out some career stuff, again, I don't buy, I don't spend crazy. Right.

So I was like, what's like a cheap bike that I like that's cool? You got a Honda? Yeah, buddy, I used to drive one. Wait, what, a Rebel? I used to ride a Honda Rebel. And I also had a Suzuki Boulevard. The boulevards are fire. I like those.

The boulevards are like Harley's, basically. Be real. It's like, I've ran Harley. Honda's or not. They sound like a little bit like a backing cleaner, but... Cool, though. I fucking fuck with Honda.

My favorite bike, like, style ever comes from Southern California. It's always like, like Filipino dudes that chop them up. Harley choppers? Not Harleys, but they chop up Hondas. Oh, for real? And so they only chop up like Asian bikes.

Oh, it's tight. And so, like, they make these bikes, they're beautiful. Yeah. And so, like, I get these Honda Shadows, so I have one that said... Oh, dude. It said 88...

Come on, man. 88 carborated... Uh, because the new one. ones are not, they're fuel injectors, but the old ones are. And so it's 88, chopped up, lowered... Sick. Like, you have that, a little mini apes, you know what? What are those called?

Those are like 12 inches or something? Yeah, yeah, something like that. Because it's like, I don't want to be too uncomfortable. Not too high, bro. My brother is a chopper. He's all the way up here. I like to be about right here. Yeah, comfy.

That's even a little high. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's nice, because that's actually really comfy. You know what are you doing? I'm... Dude, unfortunately, one of my bikes is like that. Well, what is... Which one?

The street guy. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, like, kind of amazing. You might mess with it, though. It's all good, right? I mean, you might fuck it up, you know, maybe add something. I mean, you just got it. Yeah, I mean, I just got it.

I just got it. Honestly, bro, I'm terrible, man. Like, I think it goes back to my childhood. Like, like, I never had shit. So, like, I might fuck around. Like, I got, I bought a sur on, an electric dirt bike in Miami, and it was my shit. And it was, like, my personality for 24 hours. And I never wrote it again.

No. And it sits outside. And I keep forgetting the keys every time I come to Miami because I just, I just, I just grew up. up without shit. And it's like, I'll have shit and I'll be like high on it for a little bit. And then I'll just... Yeah, move on. I got a scat pack that sits in my backyard that I don't drive at all.

Not because I have a driver's license, but... But it just sits in my backyard. It's like my dream car. I wanted it ever since I was a kid. Right when I signed a record deal, it's my first purchase. I bought my dream car. It's got stars in the roof. I haven't drove it in like four months. Wow. So you're living in Miami now?

No, I live in Missouri, but like, I stay in Miami a lot. I'm about to move to Miami, though, bro. Why Miami? That's just where, like, all my people are at. And, like, there's a cool studio that I, like, my people fuck with. Like, it's just cool down there. Honestly, bro, it's like, I'm trying to figure out if it's right for me still because... It's very different than...

And I'm a degenerate. And I like to drink alcohol and throw money at slot machines. Yeah. And there's, like, a lot of that there. Wait, that's your game, Sloss? Yeah. Really? Yeah.

More than, like, back around... I hate playing table games because where I'm from, the casino where I'm from, it's like, well, first of all, you go out there, no, you just... It's just, like, personal as fuck. If I would have grown up going to the Hard Rock and Miami, then it's like, yeah, you like playing this game. It's like about strangers or whatever. But like where I'm from, it's like, it's just personal.

Everybody, there's a casino not far from us. And it's like, you know everybody in there. Wow. Like you go there in three, three, four, five times you get to know everybody in there. It's like personal. I just never fucked with sitting down. Because you're making money. I don't like people fucking with me.

But you're taking. And we also used to go to the casino to clean our weed money. So you can go to the casino with $10,000 and 20s and go straight up to the cashier and be like, I need these in a lot. all hundreds and then they give you all the hundreds and they give you a receipt and it's like whenever the cop pulls you over and he's like why do you have $10,000 cash on you're like well you show them this receipt and you're like I wanted at the casino yeah and they're like oh okay wow so we would do that too yeah yeah I mean I've never thought about a small town casino you're

taking money from your neighbor well it's an hour and a half away but still you know all the people you pull up yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i also know you're walking out with like 10 racks like who knows they know that you was in there five times this week and lost every time yeah yeah they come and run your pocket it's like or it'll be like now everybody knows that you go to the casino too much yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah in Miami it's like so unpersonal so how are you going to keep it put together right like you come from an insane environment with all due respect you know what I mean like perhaps a tumultuous childhood we could say and and and so like you never really necessarily saw that strong

financially. Oh, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what the fuck to do. And now you're walking to some money, like, you have someone looking after it. Like, you have, like, you have a system. I'm blessed with this dude right behind me.

And I got a cool business manager, man. Honestly, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't know what the fuck to do. He's like, he's like, I don't want to say he's like a father figure, but he's like my uncle, dude. That's like my... Has he had to slow you down? Oh, man.

I mean, dude, he's like... That's like the only parents I've ever known in my life is that guy sitting behind me. You know what I'm saying? When did you mean what? He flew, he flew straight from me. He come to my house. Like, I'm living with roaches in my house and shit.

Like, I'm moving in a, it's not a terrible crib. It's my best one at the time. Like, I thought it was nice. But yeah, this motherfucker coming. He got Montclair bracelets on and shit. This dude just got bread. Yeah, one, what's the dumbest thing he tried to buy that you were like, later?

Put it, do it later. There's been all the time. Maybe even I pulled up on him just the other day with the Harley. And he said, God damn it, kid. He said, what the fuck, kid? Harley in one week or in the month. And Miami was an awful life. Yeah, that's too much.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bro, doesn't you have a license one? What are we going to do? Hey, my fucking pops back here, man. Nah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no. Even more so, just the struggles of, like, being, like, the finally the only person in my family with money, and, like, that's been more of a struggle than anything.

Yeah, like, I have, like, a shitty spinning habit, you know, sometimes. I haven't wasted all my money or nothing like that. Of course. I go to the casino too much, for show. You're also not dumb. Yeah, and I'm not, yeah. Like, I know you say you're all my money. it's gender, da-da-da, like, of course, we all like the party, but you're not dumb.

No, no, no. And you're not going to do something truly dumb, in my opinion. Right, that fucks me. I wouldn't. I would never would. But I think the advice that I got from, like, Juan and shit is more in like, hey, man, you can't save everybody, you know, hey, man. Yeah, I know you really want to buy your mom a house right now, but guess what?

If you just keep building in three years, you'll be able to do that. You got this in portfolio. Yeah, yeah, you got to do this with the money and blah. I mean, dude, this guy, I'm in fucking Vegas. It's 1 a.m. and we're like talking about like and I don't like talking about money bro it makes me uncomfortable

like I don't even like even thinking about it I definitely don't like fucking talking to him about it because he's like a responsible person yeah and shit and we're like having an uncomfortable conversation and I got bad credit and all that shit and this motherfucker's like what's your address he's like hand me your ID

I hand him ID and like 15 minutes later he's like all right I enrolled you for a fucking MX credit card like and he like helped me out to like facilitate that and he's like this is what you do with that this is how you handle your money this is going to build you in this and if you spend this and you know make sure you keep paying it off and do this and like he's the first person i ever teach me like financial like literacy

right you know and it might happen at fucking 2 a m after a show in Vegas at the hotel you know while we're just like getting having downtime and like hanging out so that's the first real like you know i mean even he knows i mean he gets the worst of because he's my manager and like you know i'm a fucking emotional dude and and he gets the worst of it like if i'm being emotional he'll hear it but it's the first time that I've ever had like a fucking adult that's like, hey, like I did this. Like, I've been where you're at kid. Like I've seen that before. I've been there before.

I came from nothing. I did this. I did that and he's got a beautiful family and shit like that. And, you know, his money's riding all these things. And he's got all these relationships that like, you know, elevate him like as a person and shit like that. And it's the first time that I've ever had like an adult like that in my life. You know, I've never had an adult that ever.

If there was an adult that was like financially literate around me, they were, like, shunning us because we were, like, broke, and my parents were drug addicts, so they didn't want to fuck with us. Like, I never one time have ever heard, you know, I didn't know that you could put money in a fucking investment account and let it grow, like, interest and shit. I never knew shit like that. I never grew up knowing that shit. My parents never, do you make $20,000 a year, bro?

You are fucking buying food with that and rent only. You're not talking about what can I put in an investment account. Yeah, of course. Yeah, you stay poor. Are you having animosity towards rich people? I'm losing it now. These, you know, these are, I'm like, yeah, whenever I have first, like, yeah, bad, bad, bad, like, bad. Because did rich people judge you?

Like, yeah, but I don't know rich people, though, either. Like, if I go to Pierce City right now, I got the most money out of any, like, like, there's not, there's, there might be a millionaire. Right. Maybe a million. Right. So, I don't know real rich people. Right. Like, I give Warren shit all the time.

He says he's not rich, and I'm like, do you're the richest person I've ever seen? Like, what are you talking about, bro? Like, what the fuck? You know, so I've never seen real rich. But now you're in Miami, you're around it. Oh man. Hey, these motherfucking, these dudes, bro. First time I ever met the dude that owns one of the labels that I'm trying to, this man, we went to a horse race and he pulls out 50K from the bank.

He said, we're going to throw this on horses today. And I'm thinking to myself, like, I mean, I've seen 50K because of the weed and shit like that, but I've never, like, seen 50K and all hundreds in cash pulled out of the bank and a fucking Ziploc baggy, legal money. about to go gamble it all tonight type shit You know I've seen 50K and I've thought Yo I'm eating for a year off of this

And everybody around me is getting a car And like we all you know We're all gonna get a fucking 98 Civic tonight Like I thought that But yeah that's real money bro It's kind of like a scary thing bro What does your mom said now that you got success Or this version of success

Because I want to ask you about success later But what does your mom say? Yeah She texted me today and she said Hey Bob Go show him who you are You deserve this I don't know.

She just says shit like that. I got my mama crib. Like, I didn't buy it, but I rent her a crib. And, like, it's the first time she's ever lived in a house that's not as big as this room. Yeah. She's always been in a tiny house that, like, she used to make her couch out of milk crates and blankets. So she would, like, build a couch out of milk crates and, like, super gloom together, hot gloom together. And then she put mad blankets on it, and it would look like a couch.

And, like, that's how she's always lived like that. Bed, you drag the bed out from the closet that night and put it in the living room and you make a pallet. And that's where you sleep at a night. studios like she had never lived anything so she's mad grateful she also watches my dog all the time now so like it's kind of a partnership yeah but um and then when overdose drop like your dad saw that right no your dad never saw it no bro i remember i was making tic-tok money i was making 10 bands a month i'd given up the weed i was making 10 legal $1,000 a month on tic-tok i remember the the i sell my dad a week before he died and one of the last conversations i had with him i was like i'm gonna be rich dad

like if you can just hang on like don't don't kill yourself because he was talking about killing himself like don't don't kill yourself if you can just hang on like i promise you i'm going to be rich i'm going to get you out he was living in a shitty section 8 apartment at the time i was like i'm going to get rich dad and i'm going to move you out of here and you're going to get like your own spot and it's going to be great and i remember him grab me on my shoulder and being like even if you get it's that's your money that's not my money and he was like this is what i'm doing and talking about like he's going to drink himself and smoke himself to death and um yeah boom and then he did.

And then I didn't make overdose until shit. My dad died. It must have been like two months later or three months later until I dropped overdose. And did that influence the musical change? I already had changed kind of. I was already kind of making music like that. Thankfully, luckily, before that, like,

when I started getting paid on TikTok, music became, oh, I just loved this. I don't even care. You don't have to listen to it no more. I wasn't even promoting it on my page. I might promote it in a funny skit sometimes. Like, you know, there was people that would, you know, they thought that like that was,

like that was my thing, was promoting my music, but like, nah, I just didn't really fuck with it. Um, until overdose, really until like that song, like started going viral and it was kind of like,

I didn't even want, like that song, I never really, I never promoted that song. That was just like straight. I'm like, what the fuck? I'm posting about being like,

what the fuck. I can't believe you guys are fucking with this. And everybody just carried that song, you know, and I tried not to milk it and I, I didn't want to make that my whole personality, you know, and shit like that.

But that song just, like, carried itself. And I still struggle with promoting my music because, Like, there's nothing worse than like, there's just, there's nothing where, like, I'm a real artist and, and like, you'll never be able to take that away from me. They'll never be able to take that away from me. Nobody on the internet will, no phone screen will, no Instagram page.

There's no, nobody will ever be able to take that away from. I'm a real artist. I love my music. I love writing. I write music and I physically have reactions. I'll be shaken or I'll be crying or I'll be having chills. Like, I'll have a physical reaction. That's because I love music so much.

So nobody can never take that from me And it's a struggle to be like Trying to be like Like take me serious Like please please please listen to this song Please listen to it bro Like come on like come on look People are starting to listen to it

You should listen to it too Oh look come on my song's cool Come on I hate going to a I hate hearing a song I like And then going to their page and realizing Oh you're not even a real artist You're just a guy that's trying to promote this song That I related to kind of

And now all of a sudden Whenever I hear the song I'm like Fuck that song Because I related to it What I thought you were but you're not that. You're a dude that's like trying to get famous and you're a dude that's like trying to

and I never want to be that. So I still struggle with like promoting my own music to this day because I believe in myself more than just like trying to make the internet believe in it. But it's so crucial to like the game. Be this guy that is, you know, on the internet doing these things. So I try to find a balance but I don't think I've really like that.

I'm not totally there, you know. So what does success look like? To me, success, bro. I would say like if I'm sitting and I'm successful, I'm, my sister has a house. My mom has a house. My mom is like gonna, like, yeah, like I want my mom to die like in her house that she owns, not like in some rental or like some spot.

And then my nephews are in college and they all got vehicles that they can drive. And, um, yeah, bro, that would be successful to me. So, but that means that, you know, $10 million is not like the goal, like, it's like, it's like property and like fucking, like the piece of mind. The best thing about having money right now, and I'm not like some rich dude. Trust me. I'm not like some super rich guy. But, you know, the best thing about having a little bit of money is like being able to eat whenever you want.

I can eat anything I want whenever I want. I grew up not doing that. I grew up not, I never ate out. Like I never was able to eat out. I only got to eat out if my homies, mom's friends gave them extra money for me. Got some McDonald's money. Yeah, bro. And I never got that.

And there was not even restaurants like that. So that's the best part about being like that. I'm successful if my nephews can grow up and be like 16 years old and be like, hey, like, I'm going to take my friends to go get dinner tonight. And they can do shit like that, you know. Have you had good sushi yet? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

When was the first time you had good sushi? Dude, loki, actually, whenever I was in high school, I was dating this girl. And there's a sushi spot in Springfield, which is like an hour away from I grew up. And it's still my favorite sushi. to this day. We went in high school. She showed it to me. Springfield?

Yeah, it's a good sushi spot. You promise. I'm going to be honest. I'm a little skeptical. No, it's fire, bro. But it's cream cheese sushi, though. Come on. Yeah, yeah.

So you're talking about, like, you're talking about like fucking raw salmon. You went to like a... It's cool. Raw salmon, yeah, that's sushi, bro. Like, it's cool. I mean, you've had... Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to think this spot in L.A.

I went to this famous spot in L.A. Nobu. I've been to Nobu, but that's not... It was cool. It didn't blow your mind? Yeah, you know what, bro I'm also kind of a... You got a pure city palette.

Dude, these guys are rich though, bro. Like, the first time I hung out with Juan and them in Miami, we were eating at Mr. Chow. Yeah, you ever had that? Yeah, and that's my favorite spot to eat now. So, like, I'm low-key kind of like a diva-ass bitch, and, like, Nobu was, like, kind of annoying, loki. The service sucked.

But that's just like me... You know, that's me saying it from a spot of, like, you know, Mr. Chow before I sit down, they pulled a seat down. Yeah. So, Nobu, I ate it in Malibu, and it was like, I didn't love it. I guess I didn't get the right shit, though. Everybody says I didn't get the right stuff.

But it was cool, though. That's where I like to do that. That's my favorite thing to do is get dressed up with the homies and go eat somewhere super nice. That's like my favorite thing to do. And how about like partying this stuff? Like are you like, how do you manage that on the road? Because the tour schedule is intense. Yeah, bro.

We don't get down like that, bro. We just work, man. It's kind of cool. Like, I'm super humbled every time I get on the most. I can't, like can't like some people. I'm fucking mad hoax. No, man, I'm humbled when I get on the bus Because I'm with my boys from back in the day

And I'm not always Dave on the bus And like, and a lot of the time Like these guys, you know They're not in the music industry Like they want to go to bed and shit We do hang out and drink sometimes But like really, bro I'm not living like that

I'm not living that like crazy tour party life If I... Because a lot of dudes in your situation would Yeah, like I want to be successful though Bro, I want to be an actual rock star I want to do a headlining tour of stadiums And then you're gonna have to wear Once I'm on a headlining tour of stadiums

Then I'll call you All right. Then call me back and be like, hey, does Abe got a therapist? And what's going on? Because then I'm going to be throwing fucking TVs out the window. But right now, I can't fuck it up. Right. I mean, like, I have this story where after the show, one time we were, like, kind of buzzing.

And we were hanging out in the bus behind the venue. And I ran back into the venue and stole this, like, five foot or, like, four-foot lava lamp that they let us use. I stole that from them. And I took it all the way home. And we used it at, like, some other shows. And it was like, that was, like, some fun rock star shit. but this is as close you'll get. Yeah, but then they called us

and they were like, just bring it back. No. Juan calls me, he's like, Abe, did you guys steal? Oh, I'm like, yeah, we might have accidentally.

I already know he was pissed. I already know he was pissed. You know, the cool thing about Juan, though, is he's on my head about, you know, certain things sometimes, but he lets me live, though. You know, I told him, I was like,

he's parenting a teenager right now. He can deal with another teenager, you know what I mean? Oh, I'm sure Cruz's cake. He probably go home, and he probably tell Cruz, you are such a good kid. It's probably like, damn,

Coding, Cruz. Yeah, like, thank you so much for coming home on time. My 14-year-old or however old. Is he 14? Yeah, when I was 14, yeah. My brother died at 15. Ain't that some shit? Cruz is like, baby.

That was that age, bro. Crazy to think about that, man. Because you see, like, when I was a kid, 15 years old is, like, even my homies. Like, 15 years old was, like, kind of older. You're starting to, some of my friends worked. You got, you're starting how to get a job, you know? You're on the farm at least. And, like, you're, you ever had a, you ever heard of a farmer's license?

No. When you're 14 years old in Kansas and Missouri, you can get a license to drive on the farm. Only on the farm, yeah. So, like, my homies would have that. They'd be 13, 14 years old driving trucks to school and shit. And so, like, 15 was kind of like, I didn't feel like I was a kid at the time. But looking back, I'm like, damn. That's like a baby.

You talk to a 14-year-old. You're like, bro, this is crazy. Yeah, scuba thee toilet, motherfucket. Shit like that. Yeah, bro. What the fuck, dude? It's crazy. That is insane.

Yeah, so insane. Man, I'm excited for you, bro. Dude, thank you, bro. This has been really, really. really cool, like learning your story, man. I'm like, just really impressed with... You're great at this, bro. Oh, thank you, you.

You're amazing. I appreciate saying that, man. Thank you. I really enjoyed it. Like, I'm genuinely curious in your journey and where you've been and kind of where you're going to go. Like, I don't know, man. You remind me of a lot of people that I've met, you know, like, not only from, like,

back home, but even folks I know that are killing it right now, selling out tours, stadiums, all that stuff. Like, like, I don't know. I feel like there's a connective tissue between, between you and some of these guys. Thank you, bro. It's really cool. I just need to know a couple more things, though. Let's do it.

Honest Ave. Like, I'm sure this is on the internet somewhere, but is I real quick. Where is that from? Yeah, I'm at a house party. I'm 15. I'm in the basement. These two cool kids from the town over, they're making rap songs, and they're like, we need another verse, we need another verse.

My friends run outside. They know that me and my homie freestyle. They're like, come in, like, they need a verse. Come freestyle. We go down there. They're like, you need a rap name first. 20 minutes go by. They're asking me personal questions.

They say, who's your favorite president? And I don't know why they said, And I don't know why I said Abraham Lincoln. And they were like, oh, all right, cool, cool, cool. They were like, Honest Abe, that's what's up. And then they were like, honest Abe. And I was like, no way, that is so sick. And then we did it.

We ran with it. Honest Abe, I've been called Honest Abe ever since. And then my homie, we came up with his name too. His name was Breezy. Whoa. We called him Breeze, and never stopped. Is he one of the guys that's with you? No, fuck, no.

He's got two kids. He's killing it. He's like supporting a wife and kids. He can't be on the road. He would if you could. That's probably my favorite song of yours. Which one? You gotta forgive me because I forget the name, but it's the...

Growing Pains? Yeah, growing pains. The track you put out recently. That's what I'm. Because, like, I don't know. I even feel that on a personal basis. It's like, yeah, I'm on the road. I'm following my dream.

My friends are back home. They got kids, but for some reason they're more happy than I am. Yeah. Like, I give me goosebumps. Like, I feel that. Yeah, it's like, I don't know. Yeah, yeah. I'm up here, like, grinding my ass.

I'm killing myself every day working. Like, I'm flying to Charleston tomorrow at 7 a. I'm going to show. I'm going to Atlanta after that. Like, I'm like in the grind because I'm trying to still come up. Right. But I look at my friends,

like, I'll call my buddies what I went to high school with? Yeah. Like, what are you doing? He's like, oh, I'm walking the dog by the lake. Right, right, right. Got my feet kicked up with my boy that laughing in front of me

telling me I'm a great father. Yeah. Yeah, and my girl just kissed me on the cheek and brought me a hot meal. Yeah, and I'm like, damn, dude. And I'm like, how are you making money? They're like, I sell insurance. Yeah, yeah, or whatever.

I have a good job. I make money. Yeah, but you know what, bro, you know what they think? I'm sure your friend is thinking, you know, he's having a little argument with his wife. He's thinking, damn, like, bro's on the road right now. Living his dream, you know, doing comedy shows and making people laughing, like, it's never going to be good enough, man. It's true. It all sucks.

Yeah, it all sucks. You know, life's shit wall to wall to wall, then you die. Yeah. But it is, that song, though, just like, it resonated with me. I was like, oh, wow, I definitely feel that. Thank you, bro. I can't really connect with, like, you know, a lot of the, you know, other traumatic things you've gone through. But that song specifically, like, I just felt like resonated.

I just like ooze trauma. Like anywhere I go, it's always like this, too. I can't wait to get to the point in my career where it's like everybody just knows. But that's why you're funny. Thanks, yeah, yeah. No, it is. Like, 100% that you cope with it.

Like, I feel the same way. Like, I haven't been through nearly the same shit. But like... Bro, it's all the same though, man. There's never like, dude, the thing about that motherfuckers don't get is that like the shit that I went through was crazy for me.

But like, there was something that happened in your life that was crazy for you. And that's the same crazy. Like, I never like, Whenever I was a kid, I fucking hated rich people. I hated anybody that had bread. If you were a kid that had good parents, I did not fuck with you. If you, like I was telling one, I never went out to eat, like, solo with my parents.

I never had like one-on-ones with my parents, you know. Maybe I had one or two, and it was a coupon I got for my birthday. My parents just made me coupons. It would be dinner with dad. It would be a movie with mom. And, like, I would use a coupon. Hey, dad. And sometimes you would say, no, motherfucker.

Like, dead ass. And so that's how I'd hang with my parents. Hey, Dad, I got this coupon. Let's go watch a movie. And sometimes he'd be like, no, I'm not feeling it. And I'm like, fuck you, I've had this for a year. I checked bounced? Yeah, what the fuck?

So I hated them, but I'm going in to realize like everybody's shitty is the same shitty. I mean, there's a saying, this guy, Victor Frankel. He's a psychologist that wrote this book, Mansearch for Meeting. In the book, he has this line where he says, suffering is like a gas. Like, it consumes the space that it's in. Yeah. So whatever different type of suffering you have, like, it just fills up that space. Same space.

So whether, you know, like, you went through what you. went through or you know you're a kid in a war zone somewhere which is worse that's exactly or like you're someone that got you know like your sister died and that you know it was like a car accident but you had like a good family yeah yeah like that's all suffering and it all fills you up in the same way and obviously it exists on a spectrum and people process it differently but like that pain people feel is is a pretty universal feeling and i think you know a lot of your music really taps into that to that pain that i think is really cathartic for people to listen to thank you bro maybe one day i'm gonna make a song that makes people feel good.

Yeah, what is that? Like one time? Yeah, what about like a Farrell? We need like a happy. Oh, yeah. Because I'm happy. Come on, man. Never that, though.

Honestly, you know who does a good job with that? Dom Fike. Dominic Fike? Dom Fike will do a Miami boy. Oh, you know Dom? I mean, I met him. Call him Dom. That sounds pretty, yeah.

You know who really does well with that my boy, D-O-M, I don't know. D-O-M-I-D-M. I don't know. I met him a couple times. I have friends that know him, but he does a good job of making, like, real music. Talk about his crazy experience.

It feels good, though. But it's kind of fun. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? So I don't know. I just think, I think there's a way and I think you're going to hack it

because eventually you're going to be doing these shows that are huge and you're like, I want to open with something poppy. Yeah, I mean, then we'll get to some of the other shit, but like, I think you're going to figure out

how to curate the show now that you're going through it, you know what I mean? Yeah, definitely, yeah, on the way for that. But Ave, this has been awesome, brother. Dude, been real as fuck, thank you so much for joining me.

I appreciate it. When you're back in New York and you're doing some big theater, I would love to have you back. Yeah. And eventually when you're at MSG, man, give me some tickets. Hey, same with you though, bro. This pod, what's up? This is like the foundation for something huge. We're cooking.

We're going to be huge. We're going to be great. We're going to be great, bro. Let's look back on this in a few years, man. Thank you so much, word. We appreciate you. person that understands this. History is not just dates and names, it is a tapestry of human triumph and tragedy. From the day Nostradamus made his first prophecy to the morning Paul Revere took his

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