Can You Don't? - Can You Don't? | 30 Tokens. Hong Kong Hank. Gnomes. Holding Ham.

Episode Date: July 24, 2024

There's nothing quite like taking the family out to dinner and the booth next to you is funneling margaritas into their assholes. Let's talk about that, trying to fly a kite at midnight in perfectly calm conditions, what the heck is with Montana and all their casino combo businesses, needing tokens from the government to watch porn, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast ***New Episodes every Wednesday at 12pm PSTWatch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/lVF925fJdg4Send in segment content: [e-mail]: http://canyoudontpodcast.comMerch Inquires: [e-mail]: http://facebook.com/canyoudontpodcastIG: http://instagram.com/canyoudontpodcastYouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wyt5rtOfficial Website: http://canyoudontpodcast.comCustom Music Beds by Zach CohenFan Mail:Can You Don't?PO Box 1062Coeur d'Alene, ID 83816Hugs and Tugs.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

30 tokens Hong Kong Hank gnomes holding ham I have either one of you gotten into cock rings yet? No. Curious, but haven't. Zach? That's a good way to put it. Curious, but haven't. Yeah.

I was just wondering about that. Episode 110 of Can You Don't. 110, dude. You got nothing to play off of that? No, I was just wondering. I've been trying to get you guys into it. Do you have one? Yeah, I got a bunch of them.

Show me. Are you wearing it now? Show what? been trying to get you guys into it. Do you have one? Yeah, I got a bunch of them. Show me. Are you wearing it now? Show what? A cock ring? Like I carried around? No, when the show's over, it's a cock ring. It's a ring.

Does it vibrate or is it just squeezed? No, it's not that fancy. It just squeezes that dick, makes it look nice and juicy. Throbby. Sweaty. Next time,

we'll put around our little goose here. Little goose here? Little necklace. Maybe I'll send you guys home with some. Yeah. Do you have any unused ones? Yeah, goose here. Little goose here? Little necklace. Maybe I'll send you guys home with some. Yeah. Do you have any unused ones?

Yeah, probably some. That probably wouldn't even fit. It would just fall off. Oh, jeez Louise. You got to get that shit sized. Do you have to go into a place to get a ring? Your wedding ring? Can you imagine going into Adam and Eve?

Yeah. You're like, hi, I'd like to get sized for a cock ring. Let me take a peek here. And they put their glasses on like the off-tra yeah yeah the old high tech one get a stool out like let me take a peek they're like yeah i'm not sure we got one that small how would they take a little string and measure it yeah wrap it around get the diameter you're like hang on let me get it hard a little bit yeah come on i mean getting them have anybody more attractive that could come in here and do this?

I'm not usually this flaccid. I'm usually like, this is extra flaccid. I'm like mid-semi, just like all day. Yeah. I run about mid.

I run about chubby. I'm not fully hard. I'm usually chubs. You want bonus content? I got great news for you guys. You get bonus shit on the back end of every single episode, plus access to exclusive merch,

Amiga's post shit on our Patreon. That's patreon.com slash canyoudontpodcast. What was that? Was it last week? They got like, or two weeks ago. The bonus side has a alternative version of the shoving things in my butt song. Oh, yeah. We played it over there. Yeah, it's an old uh old old timey old big band old big band version like just stuff like

that but you can sign up at patreon.com slash can you don't podcast joe shooting himself up with steroids yep is that in your butt did you post that without me knowing okay i will though he's waiting for the right time waiting for the right time we don't know what's gonna happen be sure to check out scatcast. And speaking of Zach, we're doing lap time today. We are. A little preview, sir? Random crazy shit about our planet and our bodies and all that kind of stuff.

I like that. How we're all one or what? There's some silly shit. No, there's no solidarity in it at all. Oh, gotcha. We're not going to establish a new religion today? I hope not. Okay, fine. I really hope not. And then anything new religion today? I hope not. Okay, fine.

I really hope not. And then anything you want to hear on the show. Good way to make money. Yeah. Send those in to... It's the L. Ron Hubbard way. Sorry. I get it.

Do you say hell Ron? Hell Ron. Hell yeah, bro. Hell Ron Hubbard. Triple, double H. That email address to send content in to the show is heyguysatcandydontpodcast.com. We have a quick little email before we get into everything today. Do we?

Yeah. It's a quick one. Actually, no periods. So, I mean, it is going to fly by. Sent in by our son, Zachary. That is crazy. I'm looking at him like, there is not a single one. A couple of weird double spaces.

No blood at all. Yeah. A couple of weird double spaces here and there. Zachary says, hey, I was listening to the latest episode should be a comma there i know don't we're gonna try our best here okay okay and when the part about the guy that got caught by apple saving his messages remember that yep just fucking outrage he's like you've cost me so much stress it's like yeah how about don't fuck everybody else! Caught by Apple saving his messages. And that reminds me of my wife and I sending dirty pictures back and forth.

Oh, no. Only to find out they were also being saved to our daughter's tablet. What kind of popsicle is that? Mommy? Luckily, she was very young and doesn't seem to remember anything so let's chalk it up to a victory just a huge trauma bill maybe passed like it just kind of skipped right through but it's so easy mom's just like yeah she's like anybody that can't see what i'm doing i'm doing like the old finger split oh yeah with the tongue like like the old print magazines when they used to do that the worst is when they do that while they're smiling they're like that it's not hot i mean every like playboy thing like they're laying

down like grabbing a titty and there's like smiling like it's a senior photo yeah it's like i don't want that turn your face a little bit yeah dude show me the surprised face oh this whole thing oh this guy right here uh pinch and nip and split in the old split and meet curtains pinch and nip so my daddy's always say 20 things pinching nip and splitting lips I'll write that down another t-shirt pinching lip splitting nip another t-shirt no one will wear

love it wait wait what was it again what do you mean you just said it pinching nip splitting lip it doesn't make any sense to anybody else but to the people in the show would will know you'll know but it's so easy to do everything's all connected things are popping up on devices it's like hey would you like to continue your chrome browsing on this yeah

it's like no thank you no thank you yeah don't ever ask again thanks i don't want anybody knowing that this was me. Anything ever. Yeah, but, I mean, that's so funny. Daughter's just fucking using her tablet, like, watching Sesame Street, and it's like, new photo added. Ooh, she clicks on it. Clicks on it. And it's her mom, like.

And she goes, oh, another one of these photos? No, she's got, here's what she's got on. Tell me. She's got, like, a baker apron, like a red-white apron. But it's lifted up and she's going like this. Damn. And she's got like a cherry pie in her hand. She's like, hmm. She looks like the housewife.

Which one do you want to fuck? The pie or the pie? Yeah. Which cherry pie do you want? We got a little insight into a fantasy of Brian's right then. Brian, you know the apron thing? The pie or the pie? Yeah. Which pie do you want? Which cherry pie do you want? Yeah. We got a little insight into a fantasy of Brian's right then. Yeah. Brian, you got an apron thing?

Huh? You got a little apron fantasy over there? No, it just made sense. Well, sure. I mean, sure. If they're not wearing it. I love aprons as much as the next guy. As much as the next guy. Especially if they're not wearing any clothes.

Yeah. The boobs are like just behind it. Uh-huh. Poking out behind the straps a little bit. Your brain's like, what is it? Yeah. You behind the straps a little bit Your brain's like what is it You know it's boobs but you're like what's it They turn around to like pull the Pie out of the oven

Okay The look on Brian's face is so good right now This little shit eating grin Scarlett Johansson Baking me an apple pie Alright I'm gonna chalk that up for I know how to make you cum Scarlett Johansson baking me an apple pie. Alright. I'm going to chalk that up for... I know how to make you cum.

People always, when they write in, they're like, oh, blah, blah, blah. For Brian, we'll do Margot Robbie. Margot Robbie. But I'm more of like a... Olivia Munn would be the number one, I think. Like that little darker skin.

Yeah, you do. Make that little darker skin. Yeah, I gotcha. Yeah, you do. Yeah. Make your wife proud right there. Yeah. All right, let's start the show. Let's get rolling. Zach!

Hey, shut up. Start the show already. I don't even know what I'd do if kids were looking at fucking dirty pics that I sent. What's the worst one you've sent, you think? I don't know know what I'd do if kids were looking at fucking dirty pics that I sent. What's the worst one you've sent, you think? I don't know. I do know. I'm not ever going to fucking tell you, Brian. Why?

Not here. Not now. In front of the world. In front of everyone. Listen, my bridge catastrophe in the last episode was enough embarrassment for a bit. What's the worst one you've ever sent? You haven't sent shit. Zach? I haven't sent shit either, buddy. God, you guys are fucking

nerds! Take a picture of your dick! No, I don't want it out there for everyone. Oh. Yeah. We're not putting on a billboard, Brian. I don't... When someone steals your shit, it's like, and people will be like, well,

you shouldn't be sending nude pics. I'm not that kind of person. Cause it's like, well, if you want to do that, fine. But I also am not going to put myself at risk in case it does shit gets stolen. And it's not even about my dick. It's about like your wives or girlfriends or whoever's dick is out there. I can get you. You know what I mean?

Like, I'm just going to avoid at all costs to avoid any sort of... Complications. Yeah, exactly. Fine, fine. I'll swing that dick in front of her. Yeah, you will. But I ain't going to swing it on camera. I'm going to swing it on fucking Channel 6.

Trap. KB TV. Kick over. I'm going to cover up that dick. Would you rather consistently have to be kept upright like a weeble wobble? Remember those old weeble wobble cartoons? Anyway, it's like sandbag at the bottom. Remember those clowns you could punch?

Oh, yeah, yeah. So they're always wobbling around. And that's you now. Weebling and wobbling. Weebling and wobbling. So either that or have to fly a kite for an hour every day no matter what what if there's no wind yeah you have to just try you have to try you just throw it up and it just keeps falling back down yep well that's you for an hour dude

you had a fucking busy day and you're like i would come baby come to bed you're like, I would come baby, come to bed. You're like, I would love to, I have to go fly a kite. And it's just calm. I mean, gorgeous, sunny day all day,

no wind and nothing at night. And it's 10 56 and you got to fit that in. So you go outside and your lawn and you're just standing there. It's dark. I mean, it's beautiful. It's still like 76 degrees it was a hot day and you're just in your front yard holding onto a kite string

with your kite laying in the grass your wife just waiting for you to come to bed you come to bed or like whatever bird noise like i don't know it's an owl or something And you're just standing out in your fucking lawn Street light illuminating your face Holding a kite string with your kite in the grass Just like poking it with a stick Do something You're just standing there

Checking your watch That's the longest hour It's been six minutes Fuck this Or the complete opposite Terrible day Hurricane Gale force winds And you're just like, oh, fuck this. Or like the complete opposite. Terrible day. Hurricane.

Gale force winds. And you have to go. You're like, all right, well, let me get this over with. And you just walk. And this kite just fucking. You're flapping like just the sticks of the kite. The kite has disappeared. And you get the whole hour.

You got to stand out there with a kite string. Or do you have to track down the, do you have to track the thing back down and tie it back up? Nah, I mean, you have an hour. So, I mean, you might as well make, get a little exercise in. Yeah. Apple Watch is telling you good job, which is cool. Catch your steps. Yeah.

It's like, wow, you're after a great start. You're not moving. If you could go get my kite, that'd be great. That'd be great. siri can you go find my kite i don't understand i don't understand you want baseball scores no sure sure i have an hour there's no games yeah fuck you want baseball scores and you're like yeah and it's like there's no baseball happening and he's like it's pouring rain 75 mile an hour winds like fuck this do you think that's what uh ben franklin was doing that's how he found all the things with the key and lightning or whatever that was the key to the whole thing you know that whole story has to be bullshit there's no way why zach why is it

bullshit zach has to know i don't i don't know necessarily i'm pretty sure that they were using the steeple tops of steeples for lightning but i don't know it sounds like a fairy tale it so sounds like a fairy tale just old ben franklin flying a kite with a key on it like a lunatic it sounds kind of like the george washington in the apple tree right like did that actually happen right probably not no one knows so flying a kite for an hour like your lunch break every day at work is just fucking stepping outside and flying a kite you'd have no friends oh what was the other option that you have you're always a weeble wobble yeah you have to be kept upright so all the time yeah you're standing there and you're hanging out nighttime too sleeping yep i mean you're laying down i guess you'd have to

strap yourself down and then you can't tie you in the morning you're like whoa pop up out of bed and your wife's like josh jesus imagine that if someone came in there and did that you're you're you're just like that's your alarm you're sleeping you have a seat and then they come in and unhook the thing you just go good morning wing wing wing you're like oh fuck on the way up he's like good morning good morning vietnam just wobbling around your fucking bed and if you hold anything you got hands and stuff right but you're gonna hold it and it's gonna fucking lean you over oh yeah so you'd have to counter the weight just have two coffees yeah same weight same exact weight you'd

have to drink one like this and one like that immediately you couldn't or else you'd start leaning a little bit it's just a little two sip a little two sip weeble wobble oh man all the time you know flying a kite's like a hobby yeah but that's not so bad well it wouldn't be a hobby if it was every fucking day you're trying to keep yourself from falling even i don't know wind or no wind it'd be fun you could you could make it fun in the snow it'd be okay i mean i appreciate your optimism yeah i was gonna say the same thing i appreciate you trying to think but can you imagine like saying that to your partner you're in a fight i appreciate you trying to use logic and reason i appreciate you trying to think but you have

no idea how much i appreciate you trying to think that's cute it's real cute that you're trying to think oh it's adorable god i truly appreciate you trying to think but i'm gonna tell you what's really i'm gonna tell you what i think um yeah we will while we're moving around what i mean just a sloppy mess i mean sex fuck off no way cereal yeah getting in a fight yeah you're you're arguing and you're like you're like why don't you ever take me seriously and you're like like a little sand noise your rubber noise you're just like your your wife has to like walk over to she walks come over here while i'm

talking to you pick me up no no like a fight fight yeah like you just take some bouncer oh a physical fight and he punches you and you're knocked out like you're done. Oh, a physical fight. And he punches you, and you're knocked out. Like, you're done. You don't want to fight anymore. And you just go... Just bounce back up. Maybe you could... Oh, you want more? You're like, no.

Stay down! I can't! I can't! Just... I mean, that's... You become one of those fucking punching bags. Yeah. Little punching clown thing.

You're a punching bag for a fucking bouncer. Dude. Or you come back hot for a fucking bouncer. Dude. Or you come back hot and you headbutt the motherfucker. The cop's like, stay down or I'll tase you and you're just like,

I can't. Don't shoot. Please don't shoot. Please don't shoot. I'll pop. Any idea with that paperwork? No. Is there even like

pop to person paperwork at the police station? How come there's so much paperwork at a police station? I don't know. That seems to be ato-person paperwork at the police station? How come there's so much paperwork at a police station? I don't know. Because a lot of problems happen in the police station. Why does it take so much paperwork, though? I see all the time.

They're like, well, we could run you down the station, but all the paperwork. Yeah. Right. Can we eliminate paperwork? Yeah. I'm sure AI can fill it out. Yeah. Just do that.

Just put in all of your criminal history as a fucking AI filling it out. Mm-hmm. It says here you, uh, correcting his glasses. He's like, you rounded up to nine butters. Oh, your God, the butters. It says here you ordered over $100 in chicken nuggets and fell over. And you're like, that's not what happened. Like, we're still working out the kinks with the ai program here's a question for you this is separate than

the thing uh if you could choose would you rather have like you get one chance for ai to write your path in life it could either write you something fucking stupid that sends you down a terrible path or it writes you a basically a story that you're the king of whatever like and you have you put all your faith in that you 50 50 shot at a good life or a bad life what are you doing maybe that's what god does what are you doing that's how we're all created yeah god's like click click click he runs the algorithm he's like mohawk mohawk guy white White. Love Seattle. Brian.

Nothing. Come on. Mohawk guy with a mustache. Look at you. Handsome motherfucker. Get in on that. Yeah. Get in there, Zach.

Nope. That's me. Eh. Never mind. Yeah. A little too close. Yeah. A little too close. Yeah. A little too much.

Didn't like that. I'd lick your butthole, but I would not look at that face. So fly kite for an hour every day or have to be kept upright like a fucking wee-wobble. I think I'll just put up, I'll fly a kite. Yeah, I'm going to fly a kite. That sounds, doesn't it? Isn't that like a, go fly a kite. Yeah.

Isn't that a saying? Like, get the fuck out of here. Just picture, like, your whole, the whole office staff looking out the window every lunch, and Brian's out there trying to fly a kite, whether it's windy or not. Trying to run and let it go up in the air. You're running. You're 40 years old. And you're running and throwing it up and running as fast as you can.

It falls down in the parking lot and your office is like dude this is so weird i feel so bad for him god he does this every day he does this every single i mean he seems like a nice guy but this shit's fucking creepy as shit yeah i'm just huffing and puffing he's like running across the parking lot but you can't really explain why you're doing it you're like it's just something i have to do yeah but why it's just something i have to understand it's a kite thing you wouldn't understand i don't know kites running my family get it kites flying my family just flying my there's so many kites stuck in my family tree you get it my family tree is full of kites you wouldn't get it okay

let's move off to what are you thinking about let's fucking do it hey hey what's up babe what are you thinking about uh you know nothing actually you know what i'm thinking about a lot of shit what are you thinking about i what are you thinking about i will tell you right now what I'm thinking about. So when we were heading down to my hometown for my sister's funeral, we went through Missoula, Montana. Beautiful! Missoula, Montana. It is a pretty cool town. It's nice.

It's fun. It's a little college town. It's okay. Got some weirdness going on. Is that Montana State? No. Or Montana? That's bozeman

montana state right fuck me yeah i don't remember it's u of m you universe montana is okay thank you uh so not the grizz that's bozeman right okay great uh go vandals vandals have to play the grizz and they always just end up in the fucking championship and then Montana wins. So I didn't, I've been through Missoula fucking so many, millions of times. You love it as much as the next guy.

Dude, I love Missoula as much as the next guy. And I don't know why I never really noticed that Montana has some pretty loosey-goosey casino laws. Like, you can just

fucking gamble and shit. Apparently. But this last time we were going through. Imagine that being their thing. Just come and gamble and shit apparently i but this last time we were going through imagine that being their thing just come and gamble and shit and shit or whatever you're like come on down to fucking come to montana and fucking gamble or whatever i but everything like just opening my eyes a little bit driving through everything has a fucking casino tied to it and it started getting like pretty comical i like every gas station it was like it was like fucking grandma lou's gas station and casino and you're like okay that's weird and then every restaurant has a fucking casino so there's like

uh like pretty good food uh we went to one. Those burgers and more. Yeah. Like it was like an Irish restaurant and had great reviews, like 4.8 stars. And then we drove up and it was like, whatever. I forget the name. Let's just go with cool name. And in Seven Diamond Casino. And we were sitting there.

The reviews aren't of the food or stuff. The payouts of the. Yeah. Nothing like I can't.'t dude i'm so pumped i used the fifty dollars i wanted the seven diamonds casino to buy my steak yeah or whatever the fuck they were doing um but while we were eating the door was right there so the door by the bathroom there's like a bathrooms in the restaurant and then a door to the casino and you're sitting there with our kids and the door opens like... It's like... Clank, clank, clank, clank, clank, clank, clank. Clank, clank, clank, clank, clank, clank, clank.

Clank, clank, clank, clank, clank, clank. And the door would close. I'm like, damn, sounds fun in there. Someone running over to an ATM, hurrying. Crying. Yeah. I'm going to win it back. And it runs through the door.

It's like... It's like blasting into the restaurant. And every place had this. I don't. And I was like, dude, is there anything that doesn't have a goddamn casino? And they started making me think about like a little combo between the two. And how weird it could get. Like a farmer's market.

Farmer's market and casino. Right. Or like a daycare. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It was like Deborah's Angels's deborah's angels and casino little debbie's angels little debbie's angels and casino and casino like it just got fucking crazy drop your kids off and then walk through the door and then never leave yeah the

sign on the casino at the daycare it says no kids allowed it's like daddy's plan. A sign that says leave your kids here. Like right next to. Heading to the casino. Imagine a commercial for that. Want to go try your luck at the casino and have fucking kids. Get rid of your kids or whatever. Leave them

next door to little Debbie's Angels. And casino! Leave them next door to little Debbie's Angels. In and casino. But I just didn't know it was fucking wild. Like everything. There was like food trucks. Like a food truck area. They had a fucking casino.

Like a mobile casino? Yeah, you'd walk in. Like a little trailer with some fucking slots in it. Get yourself a nice little taco. And lose 20 bucks. Like it was it. Get yourself a nice little taco. And lose 20 bucks. Like, it was great. That's a wonderful business plan. Like an Ace Hardware in fucking Seven Diamonds Casino.

I mean, when do you not need a fucking shovel? Yeah, like I'm going to go buy a new sprinkler head. Yeah. And try out my luck at the... For free? Yeah. I'm going to head down to Ace and get a free shovel. You get a $10 credit at the machines.

Little Seven Diamonds Casino. And they had cooler names. I couldn't remember them. But they were all over the place. And billboards advertising the gas station casino combo. And you're like, there's three ahead. And you're like, oh, great. I got three more chances to stop.

To hit every exit. God, this is so weird. And then another weird trend, as I was looking around at the combos between casinos and whatever fucking business it was tied to. God, there was a really funny one. Hold on, give me a second. It was almost there. It was kind of like an A&W and KFC. Plenty of that.

But it was like a salon. Like, get your nails done. And casino! You're like, what the fuck are we doing here? Well, you got one hand free. They're getting one hand. Yep. You just get your nails done while you're fucking trying to win.

And then you add it to my bill. But another trend that I saw was, like, American names. Like, very American names. Like, so American that they had to put where they were from ahead of the name to qualify it.

Like from a different country? It was like the first one, this is a real thing, it was called Hong Kong Hanks Fireworks. Like, I mean, I'll trust some fireworks from Hong Kong,

but I don't know if I'm going to trust some fireworks from Hank. kong but i don't know if i'm gonna trust some fireworks from hank so was hank was it like a stereotypical it was a fire china well like but they did they play up the whole like no you know what i'm on i'm not gonna say it no but picture a picture of fireworks stand yeah just just fucking it's just whitewashed yeah it's just there it's there for a bit but they got like a or so. And it's just a hand-painted sign above it. And it said, Hong Kong, diagonal, and then Hanks, straight across, and then fireworks right below it. Yeah, exactly.

I mean, Hong Kong, yeah, that was the birth, right? Yeah, gunpowder. Gunpowder, baby. Who, was Hank working there? Didn't stop. Can I see Hank? Yeah, Hank's, no,powder, baby. Who, was Hank working there? Didn't stop. Can I see Hank? Yeah. Hank's, no, Hank's too busy.

No. But they did that like in tons of different places too. So it was like blah, blah, blah in casino. And then where they're from, name, and then what they're selling. Vietnam, or Vietnamese Vinny's Vasectomies and more. Yeah. You get it? it yeah so like a little a little shop vinny's vietnamese vasectomies and more what what else does he do yeah vietnamese vinny's well vinny is like an italian name so he's doesn't matter vietnamese it's the

fucking wild west in montana right now he's crazy over there and video videos and vasectomies videos and vasectomies and more like what the fuck else you guys doing in here bay pullover no but just like picturing what what what's a what's a vietnamese vasectomy yeah it's different from a regular vasectomy yeah they tell it not different uh And then what else you guys got in here? It's got to be something with noodles. Yeah. It's spicier. Yeah.

It's spicy vasectomy. Ooh, it stings a little bit. Ooh, that's kind of fun, though. I'm not scared of a little spice in or around my junk. How could you not be a little scared of that? Yeah, I know. They'll numb it up. They got to numb it up.

Vinny knows what he's doing. He's been doing it for plenty. You pull over at Vinny's Vietnamese vasectomies and more. And you walk in and he's like, vasectomy? You're like, nope. More. No video. I'm looking for a video. Vasectomy videos and more.

You're like, not really looking to get my tubes tied. What if it was just videos of people getting vasectomies? And the more part, you're like, I'm not really looking to get my tubes tied. What if it was just videos of people getting vasectomies? Yeah. And he's like, and the more part, you're like, what's the more? And he goes, yeah. He's like, unrolls like knives and jewelry. You're like, what?

You didn't use these for the vasectomies, did you? He's like, that's the fun. Buy two, get one three. If you, yeah. What if it's just a store that he sells videos of vasectomies, though? Like, you don't get a vasectomy. It's just the, you know when you get, like, eye surgery and they send you home with the tape? It's people getting vasectomies that are recorded.

And then he sells those videos of the vasectomies. So you're just watching people get vasectomies. That's kind of cool. I'd watch it. It'd be a hard come, but I could still pull it off. I don't knowomies it's kind of cool i'd watch it be a heart it'd be a hard come but i can still i don't know if i would i don't know if i'd buy it but i'd i'd watch it i'd peruse like if it was on and you walk in there and it's just on the tv you know they have like a god what's this yeah yeah well it's just what we do here what we do here and

you guys do the vasectomies no no that'd be ridiculous that's vinny where's vinny can you speak to vinny he's gonna doing a vasectomy. Yeah. He's right in the middle of a vasectomy. This is live. Yeah. At the video, he's like, this is live. Hey, pass me the... Vinny's Vita meets vasectomies. You walk in there and he's like, no, he's busy right now.

Do you want any fireworks? Are you here for the fireworks or the vasectomy? The vasectomy. You're like, I'm just here to get out of here, actually. I'm going to head down to fucking... This had an AC. I just figured I'd get out of the heat for a little bit. God, but it was wild.

I just don't know how I didn't notice that before. But what a funny little combo, dude. Yeah, I mean, it's the fucking Wild West, right? Slots and slots. Yeah, and then more. A little script club with a couple slot machines in there. Get off me! I'm on a roll, baby!

Is that a reservation thing with the casino? Where they have... Oh, Missoula can't be a reservation. It's got to be a state law. Fucking crazy over there. I mean, Montana looks very similar to Idaho. Bunch of giant mountains things going on around there idaho nope montana's like let's fucking roll like just just fucking whatever

you want guys let's fly i love that it's crazy over there man because i mean it's not crazy population so it's just a bunch of folks living over there doing getting vasectomies and fireworks fireworks let's know all of us act was in fire as much as the next guy uh it's really fun music venues there too bucks club was a lot of great rv shops yeah i played tons of rv shops you did the rv circuit montana heavy metal rv circuit rv superstore and casino all the all the money you made from the show you lost on the fucking slots oh hell yeah went directly to the slots and the sluts yep okay i'm looking up the population of montana versus idaho let's see probably like a million people in montana yeah same as idaho so montana is 1 million 68 000 right idaho is 1.7 million we are blowing up And Boise probably has most of that

Yeah Coeur d'Alene, Likudny County, and Ada County I think is what Boise's in Are like the only big ones I think the rest of it is like Bocatello's okay size isn't it? Bocatello's pretty big How big is Helena? Montana?

It's not very big at all The capital? It's very small 50,000 God you're saying you're saying helena and all i hear is my chemical romance helena song so good helena handbasket well i get it uh helena huge state capital ready 33 885 moses lake's catching up to that. Yeah, I know.

It's crazy. Just post-falls. A little outside town of Coeur d'Alene is way bigger than that. What's going on in Helena? Gotta pick up their advertising. Keep it small, dude. So anyway, we're going to listen to this now. Probably get the video banned on fucking YouTube again, but here we go.

Are you going to play that? Do you remember this song? It's so good. Who is this? probably get the video banned on fucking youtube again but here we go are you gonna play do you remember this song it's so good who is this my chemical romance i didn't listen to these guys i wasn't fucking emo dude bitch this song's so good i hated this kind of music oh really yeah tell me you hate it it's too whiny did you listen to the used did you listen to the used so good I had some friends that listened to that. I just couldn't do it. I was listening to metal.

Yeah, I was too. But I was also... Keep my interest wide. You know, not just being a bitch. No, I have plenty of interest. I was also listening to all sorts of shit. But that was just not one of the genres I could get into. It was just too whiny.

Shame. I'm all right. That's what it sounded like. Hmm? Hmm? I'm so upset. I'm crying. Where are you? I'm crying Where are you?

I'm crying Did you listen to Blink-182? No God Alright, we gotta cancel the show Zach, cancel the show Alright, go to Dick Roll it!

Is it dumb? Is it interesting? Is it cool? Then it's Dick I was listening to Like Lamb of God Yeah, and Pantera And Kill, Switch, Engage Is it cool? Then it's dick dick I was listening to Like Lamb of God Yeah and Pantera

And Kill Switch Engage And all that stuff I mean I was doing that But I was also listening to that Other stuff Do you want to take the first dick one? Or do you want me to take a dick one? Who wants to take the dick?

I'll do it Okay Do it Take the dick Take that'll do it. Okay. Do it. Take the dick. Take that dick. Take that dick. Come on. Come on.

All right. Is this for real? You tell me. The Olive Press? Is this in Germany? Nope. The first word of the headline is Spain's. He's like, is this Germany?

I see a German flag and it says douche uh okay spain's new porn passport is coming this summer coming yeah heavy users will receive alerts but will they really be cut off after 30 sessions this is a fun a fun topic it's gonna be a good one okay the message will okay Vara. Te paja porte. Mm-hmm. Okay. The message will tell... Okay. Heavy users of online porn will receive alerts that they access the websites too often under the Spanish government's new plans.

Mm-hmm. That's fucked. Isn't that wild? You just, like, the first weekend, you've already hit your limit. Dude, first day. Get out of here. The messages will tell them to renew their digital passport in order to avoid being tracked in their porn usage. The initiative is part of the new digital wallet app, which is intended to preserve a user's anonymity when viewing porn while at the same time verifying their age. Starting later this summer, adults must give their credentials using their electronic ID,

digital certificate, or the Clive system. Clave system? Clave, maybe? It's got an at symbol in there. Yeah. To enjoy pornographic sites based in Spain. Just the ones based in Spain? See?

There's a lot to unpack here. Use a fucking VPN, dude. You ever heard of Pornhub, dude? Yeah. X videos? Is that in Spain? Get real. Nope. lot to unpack here. Use a fucking VPN, dude. You ever heard of Pornhub, dude? Xvideos? Is that in Spain? Get real. Get real or get the fuck out. That's what my daddy's always saying. Get real or get the fuck out.

Once your age is verified, the system will issue a pack of 30 tokens valid for 30 days, after which it will be necessary to prove your age once again. God, it's like going to a carnival and buying tickets for a ride. One more time. Nope. The idea of the tokens is to prevent the need for frequent identity checks,

which in turn create privacy issues. I mean, I guess that makes sense. Sure. If you're trying to do the age thing. Government policy planners. Under the system, heavy porn users will use up all their tokens uh who use up all their tokens are at a greater risk of being tracked uh in their usage by their need to verify their identity hence the government's plan to send them alerts hey you're getting pretty

close there yeah i know spank me daddy you're getting close i know spank me daddy actually this is just a heads up the tokens will be issued by the trust trusted entity of the general secretariat of digital administration which will not generate a trace of the requests according to sources from the ministry of digital transformation this is all so it's fucking stupid so a non-elected person hooray just nonsense what the fuck are you doing with this shit imagine you're about to come in the government plop yeah you get like 15 seconds of the free you know like when you get an article they give you a little bit and you have to pay to get the rest of the article you're just like oh like this is the best video you've ever seen and it pops up to finish the video yeah yeah give us your

passport you're like god jesus christ for only 199 you can come that's how they get 199 for 199 and you're just like fuck yeah yeah whatever you want And you're just like, fuck! Yeah, yeah, whatever you want, government! Flying through your digital wallet. It's like, you know, we need an updated picture. So you're like, fuck! Please, no smiling. Can't identify face.

I'm not smiling, I'm coming! Okay. Thanks for your $1.99. Enjoy orgasm. Thanks, from government. From the government $1.99. Okay. Enjoy orgasm. Here are 30 tokens. Thanks. From government. From the government. From the government.

Fuck. To enter the app or to use the credential, you must identify, the user must identify himself. Oh, really? Oh, so girls don't touch and look? Yeah. So each time with their fingerprint, facial recognition, or a code or pattern. Hey, government.

I'm about to jerk off. There you go. One second. Take a pic. Swipe your fingerprint. They're on my cock. Both my hands are on my cock. What do you want me to do, government?

Please call us. Let us at least hear you. If we can hear you come, we'll give you $1.99. $1.99. Let's see. When the typing address porn site, the QR code will appear if the user is on their computer and a link if they're using their mobile phone. A QR code? They thought of it all, didn't they?

The user will have to scan the QR code or click on the link, which will activate a connection to the digital wallet. This will then present the credential that proves the user is overage without giving away any details about them. Okay, wink. The content provider. Oh, we're not going to do anything with this this we would never use this information for anything else wink the content provider will verify the credential uh allow or deny access yeah so funny based on the evidence you're sitting there fucking rock hard it's like deny sorry you're like, what? I'm here, I couldn't have got this far You're like, I've got my lube

I've got my paja porte I've got my lube I've got my cock rings I'm ready to plow It's deny You're like, no I've got my cock rings I've got my lube

I've got my paja portes What more do you want from me? Den deny how did i get the paja portes in the first place how would i get this far to begin with deny fuck i would say it wants you to do the little uh prove you're a a human and you're sitting there rock hard. It's like, which ones have stairs? Oh my god! Fucking government! Slide the little puzzle piece over.

With the head of your dick? Slide it over? Bing! Hate this fucking country! What if it was like, what if you had to do it like when you go to a car wash And you put Quarters in

And it gives you like Two minutes And you're washing your car What if you did that with porn Like you You do it And it gives you It's like going to one of those

Two minutes Fucking adult Yeah Like whatever they call them Feeders Yeah Where you fucking The peach shows

Two bucks And you go into a thing And watch whatever videos you want And you just have at it But you only have a minute 26. You're like, fuck! Does anyone have a dime? Oh, fuck, I need a dime!

Shit! Just look into your pockets. Run outside the video theater. Dicks hanging out. You're on the street. Does anybody have 50 cents? You fucking rock hard and your dick's out. You have a cardboard sign

saying, I need a dime. Just a dime? God bless. I'm trying to get to the bus station. Anything helps. Especially a dime. God bless. Fuck. That's kind of funny because the homeless, they're always writing some

clever thing. A little God bless thing. bless yeah a little god bless and a little clever thing on there um they're just trying to get beer booze or you know drugs or whatever and you're just like i just need to come or food but no because i've i've went i've bought food and taken it over to people and they're like thanks and they put it in their bag so they're all the same no but i've done it a couple times are you are you saying that all homeless people want drugs and booze and that's it no food or water no i'm not saying that it sounded a lot like you were saying what i'm saying is uh on two or three different occasions uh i went to a restaurant bought food and then went over parked and walked down the street to give the guy food and then went over, parked, and walked down the street to give the guy food. And he's like, oh, thanks. And he took it and put it in his bag. You think he might eat it later?

He might. But the gesture of walking over and giving the guy a hot meal. That's like some Tim and Eric shit. No, they're not all the same. Okay. But they, you know. This shit is crazy.

Okay, just think about the internet, first of all, with your paja portes. Yeah, my paja portes. What the fuck are you doing? There's porn everywhere. How are you tracking shit with this thing? Like a website has to have a token little indicator? Then don't use that fucking website. Well, like I said, just go use a VPN.

Use anything. The things that are based in... Who wants to watch Spanish porn? Like Conquistadors or what? I don't know. Someone who wants Spanish porn? What is Spanish porn? People who speak Spanish

in their porn so they can understand it? No, you can be in Mexico and speak Spanish. It's specifically in Spain. Do they have bulls involved? Sure. I'd fuck a bull.

No, the side of like thinking you control people with a fucking little it's like little passive apache portis there's no way just go to reddit go to anything go to twitter go anywhere and you'll have all the porn you want right twitter's porn what's that lots of porn on twitter now yeah tons of it it's called x x all right but no the triple x more like triple the fun but this shows you how dumb government is yep like what you're not no one can control the fucking internet, yet alone you with a Paja Fortis. There's nothing. It's like, this is going to solve all the age verification shit.

And they're like, you better have your 30 tokens to jerk that dick. It's like, we got it covered. We got them now. Here, you hold on to the Paja Fortis. So you want me to hand over. Anywhere. I have to hand you a ticket to jerk off. And the amount of times they reassure they will not share your information well imagine in the future when these people that created these laws are gone

and somebody comes in who's maybe more extreme what are they going to do with it that's the ridiculous thing of these laws they can't go on forever yeah it's like oh we put this good guy and he's going to protect us from the porn and then the next four years later it's like who's this guy oh he wants to punish he loves porn he loves it yeah now we're all addicted to porn you're not stopping shit on the internet grow up well here's here's something that's kind of funny to think about and something funny to come to let me preface this preface let me preface this by saying i don't like porn um i don't i'm not a gun hater oh okay okay i going to preface this by saying that. Okay.

But it is kind of funny. Like, I was thinking about in this country where I feel like they would do more to shut down porn here than they would shut down. Combat gun stuff? Gun stuff. Like, things that are actually mowing large groups of people down, like weapons. But they're like, no not we got to keep people from jerking off i can see that being more of a and how you stop people from jerking off as you fucking shoot them yeah that's what my dad used to say yeah yeah he's a smart guy it's the number

one thing if you want someone to stop jerking off fucking kill him yeah because you you i mean you can't jerk off if you tell someone if you yeah you can't jerk off if you're dead someone could jerk you off while you're dead while you're dead which is fine oh we learned that was legal or you did yeah just recently you have so much to go back through anyway fuck government you You're dumb. Let's go to this next story for Dick. You ready?

Yeah. Okay. Here we go. There's not a whole lot to say. And I did look up the video. We're not going to watch it. It actually wasn't even that good. So, here you go.

A small Georgia town is having a meltdown after a video goes viral of a dude drinking a margarita out of his girlfriend's ass at a local Mexican restaurant. This is his first rodeo. Rodeo. Oh, man. What a good time. They're just having fun. And I watched the video and one of the managers

Is it the one where you pull, is it the same video or is it different where he pulls her bikini bottom out of the way and he starts like... No, that's a different one. Okay, because I saw that video too. They were just basically having sex in public. And the manager is there and he does this number and walks away. He just ignores it.

You've seen the video? I have. After this? Yeah, I have. I mean, I can't read this and not watch that. Are you going to play the video for me? No, no, you can do that in your homework. Use one of your 30 credits.

You have to waste a credit on that. Yeah. That's not, sorry. That's not how you drink that. The article opens. There's a couple of things that I love. The first is small town Mexican restaurants. Back in the small town where I'm from in West Virginia, I've been going to the same Mexican restaurant for as long as I can remember.

When I was in college, they had $1.50 margaritas, dude, fuck it. On Tuesdays? Taco Tuesday. Dude, I'm just eyeing the chick in the ass. Just stop it. Taco Tuesday. Dude, I'm just eyeing the chick on the ass. Just stop it. Stop it. And I spent more times or more nights than I can remember getting absolutely obliterated for $12. Dude, that's awesome.

Dude, what a deal. And another thing I love is small town Facebook drama. Something happens that sends shockwaves through the entire town. And then they have every Betty and Karen up in arms on the town's facebook page sounds like my hometown organizing boycotts and crying about how much worse things are now than they were back in their day yep it's so much fun to watch it sure is we were just talking about that before we were like back in my day no back in your day you were doing dumb shit you didn't know it was wrong yeah people didn't realize how stupid the shit was and we smartened up.

So when this story popped up, combining two things I love, I was hooked. Despite the fact that I've never ever been to Waycross, Georgia. Well, it turns out the small city in Southeast Georgia was a messianic restaurant in town called Rodeo. Rodeo. which from that i can gather is pretty popular and judging from the video that's going around it's not hard to see why some people like it wait the video or okay it wasn't the video was not about food just so you know the first video which appears to have originated on snapchat shows who i'm sure is a nice young lady bent over in a booth at rodeo.

I'm sure she's real nice. With her ass fully out as some dude sticks a funnel. Well, you know where. He never did that. I've watched the video. You're lying. And in the next video, it appears that he's ditched the funnel and instead pours a pitcher of margaritas

directly on her ass as he puts his mouth on there to catch it. I mean, a margarita's that cheap? Dude. Porn's so many... Yeah, dude. You're not even wasting that much. I wonder how many of these pictures they had already drank before they decided this was a good idea. Now, I'm just going to

base off Facebook comments here, but it sounds like the video was actually... Just look it up. Was actually recorded a while back, and it's just now making its rounds. But then, but when I tell you that the city of Waycross is shook, let's see what they have to say on Facebook. I'm not getting

into all this, but, because a bunch of it's closed, like they deleted shit, so it's not going to work the same way. Jenny is worried about E. coli. That's what it says. She's worried the the same way uh jenny is worried about e coli that's what it says she's worried the next time she goes back to rodeo that she's gonna get fucking e coli because a couple drug people licked some margaritas off an asshole it's like those people aren't working there it was just patrons that were eating there that day in there for a bit in there for a bit

and jack believes the police should have been involved i mean they're not wrong so like this whole thing and it reminds me of like you know life goes through stages right like sometimes you're pouring margaritas on buttholes and licking the margarita off other times you're there for a nice dinner with your family yeah i guess it's kind of the stages of life but picturing yourself in this restaurant with your kids, you're like, it's such a great night out. And you're cutting in, you're like, pretty good. She's like, oh, fuck, stick it in. Talking to your wife while you're eating your whatever their burrito combo is called.

Yeah. Probably like hook them. The fiesta fajitas. Fiesta fajitas. They're bringing them over it's like the hot plate I love fajitas

little tension whore hot hot hot no touch no touch like dude I'm gonna fucking touch it

he's like the guy's walking around that going on you know he's like lifting up up over the people got my fajitas

right over over the top of this guy. Don't touch, don't touch. Jamming fucking margarita in this chick's ass. Excuse me. But you're sitting there

and like you have your first bite and you look at your wife and you're like, it's pretty good. And in the corner of your eye you see some dude licking a margarita

off an asshole. You're like, love rodeo i would because like daddy what's he's doing what's he doing yeah that's called the steer uh oh that's the special tonight we just missed it oh we should have left the kids at home maybe we could have gotten a special era hunt huh what do you think about that picture in that same situation in a fancy restaurant like a steak like a five-star steak place yeah and he's like just sticking a funnel in an asshole like a coors light yeah and he's like waitress waitress

she's like sorry i'm dealing with this guy with a funnel in his girlfriend's sorry uh i was wondering if i could get some a1 yeah i'll be there in a second one second i'm gonna make sure this guy takes his funnel out of this woman's asshole. And yeah, no, I'll be right back with it. She comes back. She goes, sorry, sir. We're all at 81. All at 81.

He poured it in his girlfriend's asshole. Yeah. All of it. And you're like, all of it? Every bit of it. And you're like, dang it. You're not even mad. I'm really hoping for some. You're like, well, can she come over here and fucking fart on my steak?

Oh, God. She just gets up on the table and just squats. Your kids are there. Cream pies out of her badge. Like that sound. Just a fucking

and the boyfriend's behind. He's like, he's got the beer helmet on with a one sauce on it. Yeah. Like yeah like dude i used to love this place what's happening i mean that was pretty cool it's like dude i used to bring my grandma to this place like man will you please come over here and give me some a1 sauce just tell me when one more just tell me when.

It sounds like that Dick's Last Resort or something like that. Oh, when. Okay. When. Did you say when? Pulls up her skirt. Just have like seven feet of A1 sauce. Your steak's gone.

When. You got him, babe. Do you want something, babe? Hun? You need any margarita? No. She's all set. The margarita's right behind the A1 sauce?

She's squeezing the margarita out of her vag. Oh, man. And farting out the A1. Farting A1? God. I got the pipes crossed. I asked for a margarita Sounds like a Friday at Sizzler Dude love that place

Dude It's just It blows up It splats all over your family You're a nice dress shirt I should have worn this tonight I'm going to rodeo Anything goes at rodeo That's what my dad used to

say there's fucking clowns running around the place yeah mechanical bull people shitting on your food because why it's a hell of a friday but the guy the guy wrote this article he's like and some people are upset yeah it's like yeah you're licking margaritas off assholes in a fucking restaurant get out of here. And there's more videos of him just sucking her tits and stuff in a booth. It's like, this guy's writing it like

they're not the problem. People at their restaurant, to be seeing that sort of smut, should be paying with their paja porte at Rodeo. Pretty good 20%. Alright, credits please. This counts. You walk in and it's just like be paying with their pajaporte at Rodeo. Pretty good 20%. Yeah. All right.

Credits, please. This counts. You're like, God damn it. You walk in and it's just like some chick in a booth and some guy licking her titties and like, fuck yeah, dude. Tits and fucking going

down on her. And he kept on like popping up and looking at the camera and being like, ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's just nonsense. Nonsense. I want to see this video.

You got to look it up on your own, man. I'm not risking it. I'm not risking another video blocked on YouTube. So you got to look it up on your own, man. I'm not risking it. I'm not risking another video blocked on YouTube. So you got to look it up. Promise? Well, how do I? All right.

I'll look it up later. I think Margarita Rodeo Drink Ass Poop A1. Rodeo Margarita Ass. Margarita Ass Drink Funnel. Rodeo Margarita Ass Drink Funnel is what I typed in you're gonna find it click on here there it is a couple arrested for pouring margarita down butt at mexican restaurant down butt down butt don't don't put this up on the screen zach promise zach Don't tell me what to do, Brian. There you go. That's the spirit. You're bigger than us. Well, should we move on?

Oh, I thought you were watching it. No, I was just pulling up. I'll watch it later. Hell yeah, dude. All right, yeah, lap time. Lap time, Zach. You ready? Intrigue!

Hey, little chitrons. Why don't you come take a seat on Uncle Zachy's lap? Gather around, boys and girls. It's lap time with Uncle Zach. Sit on my lap, you little shits. Licking the funnel. I know. I'm ready to learn.

I'm ready to learn. All right, what's lap time? What are we doing? I'm ready to half-ass teach. You ready? Thatta boy. Random factoids. Okay.

I found some pretty fun ones this time. Okay. So, first off, I just thought I'd start us off with something simple. The odds of picking the correct numbers in the Mega Millions are 1 in 302.6 million. For comparison, your odds of winning an Olympic gold medal

are 1 in 662,000. According to KQNT, Alex Stone. Oh, fuck. Dude. From WGPT. Fuck this guy. So, that's really really a drastic difference there wait that people don't see the olympic medal thing is throwing me off i know right according to forbes not just alex stone but uh yeah one in 662 000 people will win a olympic medal what olympic gold medal no way shovel cock me we'll find out that's fucking nuts there's eight billion people in the world yeah i know that but there's a lot of gold

medals over the course of time i guess summer and winter but that seems like time i thought you meant this year uh actually yeah i don't know if it's all time or not now now i feel like this is a thing we should probably look up and double check. And fuck Alex Stone. All right. But I got another one for you. That's WFPG. Very interesting. By the way, I said KQNT because here in Spokane, we have a radio station called KQNT.

Yeah. That's K-cunt. Every time they say it, I'm like, that's fucking awesome. That's K-cunt. That's what that is. Remember KKTY Bayside? K-titties? K-titties? K-titties.

No, it was on Saved by the Bell. K-K-T-Y Bayside. Anyway.Titties? K-Titties? K-Titties. No, it was on Saved by the Bell. K-K-T-Y Bayside. Anyway. That's right. K-Titties. This one's kind of interesting because I'd never heard this. You only breathe out of one nose hole at a time. What?

Instead of both taking in some amount of air when you breathe, you actually inhale most of your oxygen through one nostril at a time. Every few hours, the active nostril will take a break, and the other one will take over, and they automatically switch back over again. What? Yeah. And it's true.

You feel you can... I'm doing a scientific study right now. Hold on. It's hard. This looks pretty scientific. I've got a lab coat on you, trust me. Yeah, you have. I have...

My nostrils are all fucked. Mine, they're always clogged, so. Like, I have a giant nostril and one that looks like it is there just for support. Oral support. Yeah, one's just. Oral support. Like, one is huge. The other one's like, I don't know if I should be here.

So I wonder which one sucks in the most oxygen. The big one. Yeah, probably. All right, this is another one. This is one for you guys to guess. I got a few of these for you guys to guess. Brian's like leaving a kid in a fucking, like a fun house.

It's for the people that watch the video. They're watching while you just give them a little fun stuff. Jeez Louise. According to somebody with an actual lab coat, we are apparently as humans born with two base fears.

Can you guess what those fears might be? Being alone in death. Ooh. How'd I do? Not well. Oh, Zach. What? What?

Oh, sorry, Brian. What's your answer? Those were my first. Oh, drowning and falling. Oop. You got one. Falling. Falling.

Okay. And the second is loud sounds. Really? So our base fears are those two, and the rest of the phobias you learn over time. Fuck, I love metal, though. That ties in perfectly. Yeah, falling and loud sounds, huh? Mm-hmm.

Well, yeah, because you don't know when you're born and you don't know you're going to die until you basically see someone else die or whatever. So then you're like oh shit that could happen to me oh that sounds weird yeah it's crazy because like animals don't like your dog or whatever they you know they're not in fear of dying they're just enjoying you that's why they like there's a cave they just fucking run into it instead of going oh man i shouldn't do that they just go for it i I might die. Right. All right. This one is completely off into a different subject. But I was looking into the body.

And this is a couple silly ones. The brain uses 20% of the oxygen and blood of your body. Blood is 8% of your body. But this is the one that I found interesting. Adults have so many blood vessels that if you laid them out end to end they could circle the planet's equator four times and the planet's equator is almost 25 000 25 000 feet so how many football or uh miles yeah i was like feet it's very very small i was like so it's here to save way yeah 100 000 miles of blood shit in your body what yeah so i found i thought that was pretty interesting we should stack start stacking people. Yeah.

We should test it out. We should test it on the equator. Test it out. Yeah. But I wanted to see what else can be stacked around the equator. Apparently, according to Costco, they sell over a billion rolls of toilet paper a year, and that will wrap around the earth 1,200 times. So can we just, I mean, and I'm at fault for this. I could easily just go get a bidet.

Yeah. But those are the way toet. Yeah. But. Those are the way to go. Yeah. Do you want a nice, clean, squeaky ass? No. I have one. You know I have one. We know, Brian.

Yeah, I got a couple friends, and they won't shut up about it. And I'm on their team. It sounds about right. Yeah. Well, it's like when you find something, whenever you see something that awesome, you want to scream it from the rooftops. That's it. Yeah. It's like those action pants that Chuck Norris was selling in the 80s.

It's like, man, you don't get your dick all fucked up and then seams and whatnot. You got elastic shit. Yeah. No, you're right. I wasn't born yet, but I know what you're saying. Fucking Chuck Norris action pants. They're basically like the pants we all wear now. Action pants!

All right, this one is also very random. It's wearing the boots with it you they're they're short they're tight shorts with these wearing the black cowboy boots i know what you're talking about fur yeah that's right yeah so let me just ask this what country do you think is the home of the caesar salad where was the caesar salad las vegas well you'd think rome no there's no way no you would think rome i would never julius caesar no just like pizza and shit um i'm gonna go with greece greece that's good that's a smart one yeah you want to you want the answer you want to say country or city country's fine okay so greece no you wouldn't guess the city in a million years although if i told you the country probably would but basically was not named after Julius Caesar.

It was named after the inventor, Caesar Cardini, who's an Italian-American restaurateur. He's Italian. He left Italy. I almost said Italy. But he was actually in Tijuana, Mexico. So the Caesar salad is a Tijuana Mexican invention to the world. They needed that. Yeah.

And he was basically, he ran out of things that he normally made salads solids out of and he just put those things on there and they loved it i feel like i wouldn't when you're explaining i'm like i feel like i heard this like i you're right because i like i feel like i heard this from some something but maybe it's just one of those things that just like it sounds like that sounds like that's a thing yeah well definitely a shovel cock me like you read it on a like a snapple top no no that's where i got, definitely a shovel cock me. Like you read it on a Snapple top. That's where I got all these. Not shovel cock. I'm saying like.

The Zucca Joe bubble gum. That end of a stick, the popsicle stick. You eat it and you're looking for a joke and it's like Caesar salad was from Tijuana. And you're like, that's not fucking funny. Did you fact check that? No, I found it on a very reliable source. I found it on an orange pop. Reliablesources.com.

That's right. This is one of my favorite things i ever learned uh what animal to you guys causes the most power outages in the north american area termites good guess good guess bears no that would be funny if it was bears uh i'm gonna guess like beavers or birds or fucking things that peck at squirrels. Fucking Joe for the win. Squirrels. I thought of you when I picked this one. Yeah.

I love squirrels. Turns out the peak time of year for squirrels to fuck up power systems is May to June and October to November. Basically, they are chewing and digging and all that shit. That's their fucking power line season. But the most interesting thing to me on this was, this is a quote, and it's the person that said it. Quote, frankly, the number one threat experienced to date by the U.S. electrical grid is squirrels, said John C. Inglis, the former deputy director of the NSA. So squirrels are a national security problem. It's not terrorists. It's squirrels.

It's squirrels. It's squirrels. 9-11. Squirrels. Also second on that list is jellyfish. What? Yeah, out in the water when it comes to nuclear and even some of the wind and the oil rigs, they get all caught up in that shit. All right. Now I got another one.

This one, you're going to have to shovel cock me on this one. It's quite interesting. And since it's summertime, we could probably test this. According to the Library of Congress, that you can check the temperature on a hot summer day by listening to crickets. So what you do is, apparently crickets adjust their musical notes to the temperature. And so on a stopwatch or something, put 15 seconds. And then you count how many little chirps are in that 15 seconds, and you add the number 37. What? It's algebra now. But this is according to the Library of Congress.

And you'll get a number that's pretty close to the approximation of the current temperature in Fahrenheit. Who fucking figured that out? I have no idea, but that's something to shovel cock. So if you're out there camping and you got a little stopwatch and you hear some crickets, let us know. So the other day I was out working on our camper and there were some crickets going and it was weird. I went over, I was messing around with the water hookup and I heard crickets going.

I went over and turned the water. As soon as I cranked it off, the crickets stopped making the noises and I was like, that was weird timing the way that worked out as soon as I did that. And so it's funny that you said something like that because, like, if they are in tune to shit. Because as soon as I turned that water off, they stopped. It was crazy. Like, you ever do that somewhere where the timing is so perfect? Like, it's probably just a coincidence, but it was weird.

Like, as soon as I cranked it off, like, it just cut out. Coincidence or 86 degrees, you know? Yeah. That's what you have to figure out. Yeah, some guy was so lonely. Yeah. He's just like, I don't know, it seemed like we're slowing down. He just turns his, he's like, fuck, that's weird.

He goes, how many was that? How hot is it outside? And he's like, holy shit! And he did that over and over and over again. No, someone was high, and they were like. I love crickets. And then you got thinking about it, and they're like, fuck, that might be real. So then they spent the next summer.

Plus 37 of all things. He's like, God, yeah, 37 is the number. Well, he times it by all these things, and then he figured out the 37 was it. Times it by one, he's like, nope. Two, nope. like nope the first one he's like it's not 346 degrees outside i'm way off samsonite slippy it was way slippy slappy that was way off all right i got a couple more i got quite a few more but i'm only going to do a few more no go okay this is really cool i'd never heard of this kind of word before it's called a kangaroo word. And it sounds like it'd be talked like this, but it's actually a word that contains its own synonym with the letters to spell it in the correct order.

So an example would be like chocolate, which includes the synonym. Synonym? Cinnamon. Synonym. Synonym cocoa. Cinnamon chocolate? Yep. Masculine has the word male in it.

Blossom has the word bloom. Chicken has the word hen. And these are in the right order to spell it. What? Rambunctious has raucous. And deceased has the word dead. So those are all kangaroo words. Wow.

Fucking crocky fucking. That's crazy too. Yeah. Is that like a kangaroo court? I don't think it's related at all. That's crazy. I've never heard of that. I haven't either. Ever. That was was fun to hear yeah uh here's another one this is figure that shit same thing the same same guy the same guy doing cricket stuff was fucking looking at words he's like he's just

like i can't think about normal stuff so i figured out the cricket thing let's move on to fucking next thing kangaroo words yeah how much blood could I strip across the equator? All right. This is a pretty fun one. This is another one to ask you guys. So what is something humans have but no animals have? This is a crazy one, and I had to look it up three, four times to verify it, and it's true. Humans. Is it a body?

Is it an organ? No. Or is it something? No, it it's an ability i'll even give you an extra hint it's it's upper body upper body collarbones good guess not no it's not i was gonna say the ability to cook that was gonna be mine the ability to pay taxes like if you really look at animals diverse humans we combine things and cook things and add spices and nothing no other thing does that i think a beaver will throw some paprika into a little dish i'm not sure though you have to check that one fucking cock block so what is this no i don't i mean some oh i have an idea i have an idea uh wisdom teeth that's a smart one good good guess it's not a tiny thing on me

joe oh is your penis yeah oh no actually me, Joe. Oh, it's your penis? Yeah. Oh, no, actually. Other animals do have penises. It's your jaw. What? It's your chin. Chin?

Many creatures have hair and hearts and all that shit, but we are the only ones that have chins. If you're looking across all of the hominids, which is a family tree, blah, blah, blah. I'm not going to read fucking this thing. But what really sticks out is the chin, according to some guy on NPR at some point. So when you rub a dog chin or a cat chin, it's actually, this is what kind of creeped me out. I'm calling all my animals' little chins mandibles now because technically they're just part of the jaw.

So they're the lower part of the, the beagle jaw is the mandible. So there's no chins in the animal kingdom except for ours. So what's the chin technically then? It's not part of the jaw? It has a different function than a mandible. Oh, true. Yeah.

It's to make us look good with our little beards and stuff. I have no idea. That's hot. That's pretty interesting, huh? It is. You guys want to learn a new fear? Yep. Falling.

Chins. Falling. Loud noises. It's me having a hairless chin. I hate that. That's my new fear. You look good. Nah.

But check this out, okay? Bees can sting you and then burrow and live in your eye. And not just one. That happened to a 28-year-old Taiwanese woman in 2019, according to BBC. And it wasn't just one, like I said. Okay. Poor lady, she was taking part in a festival where they kind of clean up the graves of relatives who passed away. The woman thought that she had just gotten some dirt in her eye, but then her eye swelled up.

She went to a doctor. The doctor found something black that looked like an insect leg. The leg was attached to a four millimeter long bee. And then he kept grabbing one after another to a total of four. And they were feeding off the woman's tears. I thought that was the most metal thing I'd heard for a while. Yeah, that's pretty fucking cool. Feeding off her tears.

Yeah. So that's pretty interesting. I got one more left, and it's a choice. Tears are bee food? Mm-hmm. I guess. Got to be aware. I'm sure they were probably eating some of the eye sausage, maybe,

whatever you want to call it. I don't know what eye sausage is. Eye sausage. It's meat. It's some kind of meat. Sure. All right. This is the last one,

but it's a choice for you guys. Would you like to choose between a founding father who was super into farting or a famous scientist, scientist who was part of a very surprising fraternity? And we'll save the next one for some other time. Wait, choose. We pick which one we want to learn about.

You get to choose. It's either a founding father or a scientist that was in a weird club. It's a very surprising fact. I mean, anytime you're introducing a fart, it's pretty interesting. Yeah, Brian's going to go fart. It's perfect for this episode since Ben Franklin was brought up. Oh.

Also, seasoning your food with farts was also brought up. What? Benjamin Franklin was responsible for many impressive things, blah, blah, blah. He was a writer. But one of the things he wrote was an essay in 1781 called Fart Proudly. In it, he wrote, quote, it is universally well known that in digesting our common food, there is created or produced in the bowels of human creatures, a great quality of wind, that the permitting this air to escape and mix with the atmosphere is usually offensive to the company from the fetid smell that accompanies it. His essay urged basically people to start farting more.

What a funny guy. He said, some dung, wholesome and not, discreet we'll see, was mixed with our common food or sauces that shall render the natural discharges of wind from our bodies, not only inoffensive, but agreeable as perfumes. He was advocating for people to fart on food because he thought it might taste. All right. So there's that real quick. Real quick. Did he say, did he use the word fart?

Uh, what did he use? The name of the actual thing was farting. Yeah. Cause I was curious, I was curious, like how long has fart been a word been around if yeah probably has been franklin using the word fart or is that some sort of a word that we invented no he said fart proudly is the name of the essay

and i bet you that's a shakespeare term farting yeah it sounds like something he would sounds like something that crazy guy would have done it's's just so, like the idea of Shakespeare saying fart is funny. You know what I mean? To fart or not to fart. To fart or not to fart. Just think about all like the biggest people of history, like sitting in their chair and just. I love thinking about our founding fathers. A lot of them were very, very young in their 20s.

Ben Franklin was the older one. I can just imagine him sitting around doing the fart jokes for the young kids. I'm the old guy doing fart stuff. Oh, Benjamin. Oh, Ben. All right, that was my lap time. Get off my lap. Get off.

Good job. Get off my fucking lap. Get off. You fart. Yeah. You smell like shit. Okay, let's move on to some good news. Zach!

So you're telling me there's a chance. Hooray. We are doomed. Yeah! What? My tailbone hurts. I'm just going to stand for a minute. Okay.

It really hurts. That's the most old man shit I've ever fucking seen. You're just standing up? Yeah. Are you still on screen? You can stand all the way up. Do it. Let it go.

So Secret Society steals, restores, Kilowana, gnomes. Kilowana. Kelowna? Kelowna? No. Jesus Christ.

Kelowna. Kelowna. But it's in Canada, isn't it? Kelowna Kelowna? No Jesus Christ Kelowna Kelowna But it's in Canada isn't it? Kelowna Kelowna Anyway I think it's in British Columbia right? Kelowna Kelowna

What'd I say? Kelowna Kelowna Kelowna Key Largo Key Largo Montego So a Kelowna household

Was the latest subject of a Of restoration project undertaken by an unknown organization. Says WGBTV, Jeff Glass. Jeff Glass. I don't know. Sorry. The group calls themselves the Gnome Restoration Society. And Kelowna resident and gnome owner Kelly Blair has no idea how or how many people may be involved in this secretive organization. It's not gnome to us. I get it.

I get it. In late June, Blair was sad to discover that his beloved, albate, weathered and worn gnomes were missing from his front lawn. That would be sad. Having already had a few items, including a canoe, go missing from his property over the last few weeks, Blair assumed the thieves had snatched his gnomes and accepted the fact that he would never see his tiny men ever again. They were just gone, said Blair. However, on July 3rd, Blair curiously heard a knock at the back door. There stood an elderly woman who presented a perplexed blair with a blank envelope addressed to the homeowner he shot her in the face yep he's beat the shit

out of her get off my lawn you bitch inside the envelope was a cutout image of a gnome with the words the gnome restoration society inscribed on the back give me fifty dollars the woman would not answer any questions then then instructed Blair to follow her to her vehicle. This is some crazy-ass shit. I know. The lady wouldn't tell me anything, said Blair. The woman told him that she was simply delivering the gnomes and was unable to answer any questions about the gnomes, where they had been, or who was involved in the secret society.

She told Blair, these folks want to remain anonymous. Then he opened the, then she opened the back of her car and there they were all of Blair's gnomes in pristine condition. This is what keeps, this is good. This is life, baby. Like start a secret society that gets restores gnomes.

Who's in this? And he's just like, what the fuck? He thought they were gone forever. Now they're perfect. There's going to be like a college with a new wing added on the gnome. The gnome society. Every single gnome that had gone missing from his lawn,

plus two extra. So they're giving gifts. Probably took it from some other place. You don't deserve these. Had been cleaned, painted, or painted, and were smiling up at him from boxes in the back of a mysterious woman's vehicle.

The gnomes are home, said Blair to Black Press. WPGT Black Press Chicago! No one cares, Black Press! In disbelief that he had been involved in such a silly and wonderful mischief. It totally made my day. The article goes on and on. But no one knows who the fuck they were. Just took them, painted them, made them look perfect, and gave them back.

Just keep doing that more, guys. What if you liked the idea that your gnomes were all scuffed up and weathered? Well, they'll get weathered again. So he's just out there. That's how weather works. He's out there just scraping them. He's like, thank you. And he picks them up and throws them in his driveway. Ah, there they are. Those are the gnomes I like. A little dirty there just scraping them. He's like, thank you, and he picks them up and throws them in his driveway.

Ah, there they are. Those are the gnomes I like. A little dirty. Shatters them. A little dirt on them. But gosh dang me. Naughty little gnomes. Those things. Keep doing that, world. Keep the happiness alive. Funny that we talked about presidents and shit because this is weird.

Zach! The internet is pretty wild. Depending on your browsing habits, you can either experience something super cool or go to prison. Crazy, right? Let's check it out together as a couple. Hey, look what I found. Yes!

That's awesome! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! I cannot, I don't even remember how I found this website. I was just, you know how you do when you're putting together a script and you find yourself in some weird spots. And just some random shit.

Like someone was like, I don't know if my teacher's kid did this. And I was just looking through shit and I was like, well, what's this random thing? What's the worst that could happen? How many more viruses can my computer have so i clicked the link to test you do and you put all your information yep and i came um but this kid or whoever has a website called presidential ham and it's just pictures of the president's holy ham what it's so funny. Look at Andrew Jackson. He's like, fuck, this is heavy.

This is too big. Yeah, he's worn out. Oh, John Adams should be John Hadams. Hamms. Hamms. James K. Polk should be James K. Polk. Ulysses? He doesn't look like... Is that what he looks like I want to take

an order from this guy I like no thanks I'm gonna go find my own more nerd but it has pictures of everybody has all the things all the description personalities of the presidents oh not what I meant to do sorry about that everybody um but just look at john f nixon john f kenny's gonna that ham yeah he is like this is he's like okay can i it look at eisenhower that looks kind of creepy yeah i mean eisenhower looks kind of creepy yeah being eisenhower that's exactly how oh god it's trump it's exactly how ronald reagan should hold that like he's proud he's pretending that nothing's wrong so this is my ham and then clinton's like i did not have sex relations with this ham i did not come on this

ham but he did though now he totally did that look how pink it is of course he did why is trump holding it like that that's so weird it's like that's because i don't know because that's how he holds stuff probably yeah this nobody's ever seen a bit of ham. The best ham. This is the best ham. And then coming soon. We'll have Joe Biden holding a ham. How long does it take you to make these photos, dude? Yeah, no shit.

He's been president for almost four years. Hey, I could do it for in a fucking second. You're outdated. It's pretty funny though. Yeah. But if you want to go

to the website for whatever reason, if you're like, there's no way this is real. Presidentialham.com Maybe he's like, Biden's not my president. Yeah, he's like, not now, not ever.

He doesn't even deserve ham. It's probably when they're done. Yeah, I bet. And when their reign is over. I bet. Time to hear from some of the kiddos. Roll it! Hey, you guys!

Alright, let's hear what you guys think. Really? You want to talk to me? Wow, that's cool. Oh, this thing is fucking long. Grow up. Okay. Our first email is coming in from our son, Harrison. Yeah.

He writes, I didn't kill my wife. I hate him. I'm a fugitive. I hate him. A fugitive. I hate him. Okay. Hey, dads. I'm here only because I'm legally obligated for custody reasons and my favorite uncle, Zach, who I'd rather live with.

Wow. Yikes. Enjoy Harrison. I'm not sure what category this belongs in, but your parachuting topic on episode blah, blah, blah, who gives a shit made me think about the time this happened to me and why you should never parachute your drugs. Oh, not sure I need a reminder. I was thinking just like actual parachuting. No. From an airplane. Remember the guy hanging off the couch?

Yeah. I do now. How do you get up here? Yeah. I'm right here, buddy. A couple years ago, I was working an early morning stocking job, and I struggling with sleeping the night before. A co-worker of mine casually said, oh, I got something that can help with that. So on break, she's digging around in her purse, and I ask if it's Adderall.

She says, it's like Adderall, and for some fucking reason, I don't question it at all and ignore all the red flags. Nice. She says, don't worry. I'm not going to give you anything that's going to harm you. Wink, wink. I wouldn't do that. I was pretty reckless during this time in my life because I was all sad and the girl that I loved and wah, wah, wah.

She hands me a small rolled up chunk of napkin and I swallow it. Nice. 30 minutes later, I am on the strong. Oh, I forgot that that's what you do. What? You swallow the napkin or whatever. Fuck. What are you doing? Parachuting.

I got a ha ha from Zach. 30 minutes later, I am on the strongest Adderall I have ever tried. After my shift, I decided to try and donate plasma, and I was high out of my mind, and they said your heart rate is too high to donate. And they asked if I had too much caffeine earlier. And if I had a fake laugh, and I had this fake laugh and play it off, I was high for a day and a half. The next shift, she hands me another one.

And I don't take it, despite her basically demanding me to, which was odd. Instead, throwing it away, I brought it home with me and sat on the dining room table. It sat on the dining room table for days. One morning, I was real tempted to take it again, but instead I opened up the napkin, and inside was not a powder, but a little crystal shards.

No. This bitch gave me meth! Yeah, I know. You big dumb bitch! You big dumb bitch! Not gonna give me anything harmful to my fucking ass. Anyway, lesson to you kids. Always check your drugs before taking them. And definitely don't meth around with

parachuting them. You're almost meth head son Harrison. So he, the first time he did it, he was parachuting meth. Yeah, he didn't know. He thought he was doing Adderall-ish things. Fuck. A little stimulant. I wouldn't give you anything bad for you.

I would never make fun of you. I wish I had some perspective. Come here, baby. I've just never done anything remotely close. You've done nothing. I know. Do more drugs and put stuff in your ass. And this isn't me judging anybody that's done it. You've done nothing! I know. Do more drugs and put stuff in your ass!

And this isn't me judging anybody that's done it. I wish I had some more perspective so I could understand what the draw is to swallowing a fucking napkin with drugs. Drugs are fun, Brian. They're fun. I get it. I love edibles and stuff. Swallowing a napkin wouldn't even swallowing a napkin with no drugs in it fair you know i mean like what the fuck are you swallowing a napkin for that's paper stupid that's a funny way to think of it yeah i think you would only it's not even

about the drugs for me it's about the napkin i don't think you'd swallow the napkin if there weren't drugs in it you don't just swallow napkins yeah that'd be stupid right that'd be ridiculous make gotta make sure there's drugs in it before you do that my best friend still one of my best friends what am i missing back in the drug stuff because you're swallowing napkins uh in college woke me up like came in my room snuck in and woke me up and all he did he covered my mouth and i opened my eyes and he looked at me and he goes here and shoved pills in my mouth and i fucking took him because i loved him i loved him it was it was adderall crazy it was adderall he was like he was like here he's like here have him and put him in my mouth and all i

did i put him in and he covered my mouth. And all I did, I put them in. And he covered my mouth until I swallowed them. And he goes, have a good day. And he walked out and left. That's fucked. And just went back to school. And just gave me Adderall. For no reason.

That's a best friend. That's what that guy does. Like, you trust him. And he just wakes you up and shoves pills in your mouth. And you go, swallow them. And I did. And he goes, have and i did and he goes have a good day and he just walks out that's terrifying better than the other days when he

was shoving his dick in your mouth no no that's like that's how i got out of role okay oh fair yeah i don't know you just gotta pay for it some way yeah you just hear what happened like with even with your sister like you know you think you're doing something and like well yeah but it's your best friend he's not gonna kill me no i know but like anymore like you hear these stories like this all the time like something being laced with something you don't know you're what you're getting i dude it was even when i had like a headache or something my wife would be like take one of my uh margarine pills or whatever and i'm like no but it's it's your man it's prescribed to you i don't know if i could take this she's like just take it that's how i am too i'm like what it's just weird that just gonna take someone just gives me a pill

take it no it's gotta be a doctor a doctor has to tell you to take it not your wife yes it's even if it's penicillin i'm like no no i want to go for you as for you no i feel like i need a doctor here i mean like you know doctors's for you. Nah, I feel like I need a doctor here. I mean, like, you know, doctors don't know everything, but I feel like they have a good grasp on that kind of stuff. And some liability too, right? Yeah. I got somebody to sue.

Oh, God, you guys are pussies. Yes, we are. That's fine, man. I will admit that. Coming in from our daughter, Alexandria. Oh, spicy. Yeah, dude, that sounds hot. She writes, hey, Joe and Brian!

If Brian reads this, good luck. He's not. Words are hard for me, too. So, I was having... Well, there goes my boner, Alexandria. I was having spicy time. I mean, I was fucking! I was doing some dirty talk.

And I meant to say, you like this wet pussy? Oh, my God. Well, what comes out was you like this white pussy? It took a lot to not bust out laughing. You like this uh what's the word when you're uh albino pussy? You like this albino pussy? It took a lot to not burst out laughing but I held it together and finished him like a champ. Afterwards, I asked him if he heard what I said, and he whispered in my ear, You like that white pussy? I lost it. I love that. That joke will forever be a joke for us.

Love the show. I've been listening since you started. Came over from Izby Dumb. My buddy at work. Shout out, Ivan! And I love randomly shouting out, not a bomb. Help. Keep up the good work, guys.

Not a bomb. Help. Alexandria Anderson. Porn star name. Yeah. I knew I was boned up for a reason. You guys ever said the wrong thing in bed? You just tried to play it off?

We don't talk in bed, Joe. Oh, your pussy's so hard. Yeah, we're bad. We just talk about communism and stuff in bed Yeah, I like to talk about the gulags and stuff Marxism You like my fucking rock hard Marxism? You're like, ah, shit, I got my information wrong, I'm sorry

You love my rock hard communism? No, so you hunt what you're confusing as socialism and communism They're actually different She's like, just fuck me Just come! To each according to my needs and your ability Nevermind God, your pussy's so hard Never done that one god you're paying for this pussy am i because or

we're all paying for it socialism who's paying for this pussy yeah she's like what i'm gonna come it's our pussy now all of our pussy It's collective Collective Poontang Do you have a square card? I don't have any cash I gotta Do you have any tokens left?

Do you have any tokens left? Or do you use them all On your Pagetaporti Your pagaporte Exactly How many tokens you got left On your pagaporte?

Dude You're sick fucking You're like Oh my god I'm so wet I'm so white Wet No I'm so oh my god, I'm so wet. I'm so white. Wet!

No, I'm so white. Oh my god, I'm so white. Oh, dude, you're so white. She goes, I know you're not even close to hitting the back. All right, so that was episode 110. If you want to hear more bonus stuff, sign up on Patreon. Anything else you could jam in there, too? Can you put, like, some more condoms on, make it bigger? Put, like, 30 condoms on?

You like the girth god could you imagine if you're doing that and she's like we should call your your friend uh big dick yeah randy big dick randy randy big dicks randy dongs a lot randy pounds a lot patreon.com slash can you know podcast of course we got the socials youtube for the video version you want to send something in to see on the show hey guys can you know podcast.com rate and review us go check out scat cast and thanks to the babies babysitters that moderate the facebook page let's wrap it up zach good god wrap it up already huh the oedipus Complex.

It's when you say one thing, but you mean your mother. It's a highbrow joke. Whoa. Zach gets it. It's a Sigmund Freud joke. Brian, do you get it? What? Huh? Ow.

It's the worst joke. My neck just popped. It's the worst joke ever. When you say one thing, but you mean your mother. Oedipus complex. I don't get it. I know. It's about sex and your mama.

Look it up. Right after you watch that rodeo Mexican restaurant drinking margaritas out of an asshole, look up oedipus complex. You're going to laugh so hard later. I had a piss once oh god all right after the bonus stuff do your thing you have to Outro Music