Can You Don't? | Castaway. Gushers. Push Door. Shoe Phone.
Episode Date: May 20, 2026Pro tip: when you're getting arrested and the cops ask you to call your family, don't take your shoe off and try to use it as a phone. It's n...
Can You Don't? is a weekly, comedic podcast where Joe Paisley and Bryan Albrandt delve into the depths of the Internet in order to retrieve the best and worst examples of humanity, while openly mocking themselves along the way for being complete idiots.
203 episodes transcribedPro tip: when you're getting arrested and the cops ask you to call your family, don't take your shoe off and try to use it as a phone. It's n...
Doesn't it seem like the older you get, the sadder visiting Las Vegas becomes? Bryan just went there and returned with some wonderful example...
Have you ever danced with a random old lady in a grocery store parking lot? No? Maybe you should. Let's talk about that, and SUUUUUPER WAAAAA...
Have you ever been kicked out of a bar but have no idea why? Well, this was a first for Joe. Let's talk about that, a clever use for AI robot...
I mean... we love a good raccoon penis as much as the next guy, but chopping one of some roadkill in front of your family and claiming it's f...
200 episodes. That’s a lot of words, a lot of laughs, and an alarming amount of things we probably shouldn’t have said out loud. Seriously th...
We've never thought about it before... but how hard would it be to actually rip a baby in half? Let's talk about that, installing a custom bo...
Let's say you are the proud owner of a drive-thru prayer business. Would you be open 24/7? Monday-Friday 9-5? Or just Wednesdays from 11-1? L...
Some sad news to share on the show today but... everything will be ok. Let's talk about that, Bryan continues to be fucking awful at math, wh...
I didn't think I could ever give botox or implants to a camel... until I learned it could be worth MILLIONS OF DOLLARS?! Let's talk about tha...
Quick question for the ladies. Would you bang Mr. Clean? Yes, the cleaning company mascot. Let's talk about that, Bryan rewriting his entire...
You all know that Bryan went to Mexico for his annual family vacation... but did you know he was in the exact location that all that shit wen...
Although not legal in the slightest, breaking into your place of employment after hours to make and sell pizza for a little extra coin isn't...
Do you know what gooning is? Yeah you do... you little slut. *bites lip* Let's talk about that, how sexy birds can be with a human ass, anoth...
Can you even imagine how good it would feel to get released from a prison, get your shit together, then end up BUYING THE SAME PRISON YOU WER...
Have you ever been in a situation that required you to tackle an old man in order to retrieve a license plate to avoid going to jail? Us eith...
Have you ever wondered what a snoring hummingbird sounds like? No? Well, I bet you are now! Let's talk about that, how common actually still...
*Jason (495651) in prison, we read your letter!*Why does every piece of tech these days feel like they NEED to have some sort of reward syste...
Call us old fashioned, but the words "good father" don't usually belong in the same sentence as "threw an infant across the room into the bed...
We all get a little annoyed when guests overstay their welcome for one reason or another. Now, imagine if you had someone over and they didn'...