Can You Don't? - Can You Don't? | Baby Punch. Dungeon Master. Trevor. Fingerless Gloves.

Episode Date: December 7, 2022

What's the deal with fingerless gloves? Do you want your hands to be warm OR NOT?! Let's talk about that, a lady getting away with straight up punching a baby, selling your roommate's car without his permission, getting a nice spanking after each time you sneeze, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast ***New Episodes every Wednesday at 12pm PSTWatch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/0Zdu5_MRJ7gSend in segment content: [e-mail]: http://canyoudontpodcast.comMerch Inquires: [e-mail]: http://facebook.com/canyoudontpodcastIG: http://instagram.com/canyoudontpodcastYouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wyt5rtOfficial Website: http://canyoudontpodcast.comCustom Music Beds by Zach CohenFan Mail:Can You Don't?PO Box 1062Coeur d'Alene, ID 83816Hugs and Tugs!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Baby Punch, Dungeon Master, Trevor, Fingerless Gloves Episode 25! Yeah, baby! Yeah, baby! See that burn yeah yeah every 25 feels pretty gosh dang important doesn't it isn't this i remember when i turned 25 what'd you do is it a big year for you no but i was is that when insurance is that when you lose insurance health insurance from your parents yeah and maybe you get to rent a car in Hawaii For some weird reason You have to be way older in Hawaii to rent a car Well, they said that my insurance would go down

And it didn't That's the government for you Fucking liar Sounds a lot like the government to me Well, hi Brian, hi Joe And we're going to have a lot of fun today A reminder, as always If you do support us on Patreon. Oh, is it going?

Let me get it. I didn't hear the music, so I was playing it for you. There it is. If you do support us on Patreon, when the show is over, we can keep on going, baby. For some extra bonus content. So head on over to patreon.com slash canyoudontpodcast or you can find a link in the episode description and sign up to be a part of the gaggle.

Silly goose, super silly goose. You can listen to the honk edition, we've decided to call it. It's a honky tonk. The honker's cut. For the super duper silly goose, there's different benefits for each one. Go check it out, please.

Thanks so much. We're having a lot of fun with the awkward comments and questions that people get. We've done it on the last few shows and we're going to do a couple more to start off today's 25th episode and if you have some of those again keep the confessions rolling too the email address for all things to touch us and reach out to us hey guys at can you don't podcast.com hey guys i feel like people have been pretty naughty

lately some naughtiness going on it's the winter they're getting cooped up and remembering the naughty things they've done. Means we're going to be busy. Uh-huh. So this first one is coming in from our son, Benjamin. He goes, hey, daddies. This one isn't really a compliment. Well, but a former coworker of mine was recently fired for asking a new employee if they're asking a new employee if their vagina was an innie or an outie.

Well, he put vaginas. I was like, well, how many? Multiple vaginas? Single new employee, multiple vaginas. So I guess that's my bad for not fixing that. But yeah, asked her if her vagina wasn't any or an outie. Yeah, he was fired for that one. Not a compliment.

I know, but certainly awkward. The guy was known to make lewd comments to female workers on several occasions previously. I bet he would have gotten along well with the, quote, parking lot rape pickup line guy. Love the show, Benjamin. I'd love to rape both of your vaginas. Yeah. Any or an outie. I mean, there's some truth in there somewhere, right?

Is your vagina in your outie? Is it tucked? is it just a free-for-all down there what's going on yeah i mean yeah but i've never thought of ever describing a vagina as an innie or an audi well i've never asked i thought to ask someone that right that's what i'm saying i never even thought of it not even a thing yet alone ask it to a new employee hey welcome to the team they're doing the tour because they always show you around the place and they swing by this dude's thing and he just swivels around in the chair and just goes your vagina in any or an outie

the whole tour stops and then he just swivels back around and goes back to typing he's running like he's got like six monitors cigarette in his mouth all busy flips around ask that question is your vagina in here or outie uh bye and then we have one more awkward compliment that came in this is from our military son caleb and he wrote hey abusive stepfathers i did not lay hands on caleb did you no i don't know what he's talking about he said so i'm in the military and i was in denmark for an international shooting competition. The living conditions were somewhat atrocious. The U.S. team was sleeping in a tent in a field, so I hadn't showered for a couple days.

I could wipe down the important areas with baby wipes, but that was it. I'm walking out of the bathroom area after just taking a refreshing baby wipe shower, and this girl on the German Army team walks up behind me she's hammered which might have something to do with this but she leans in super close takes a deep breath and right on my neck she says i like the way your skin smells american imagine someone saying that in english but with a thick german accent you understand why i thought it was so creepy i love the way your skin smells it's that german i don't know hey i like that. I love the way your skin smells. Is that German? I don't know. I like that. Oh, I love the way your skin smells.

I love the way you smell. It smells so good. I'm trying to think of how to whisper in German, but I don't think you can. Oh, yeah. I don't think you can. It's not possible. Anytime I've ever done a German accent, it's always very loud. It has to be.

It can't go down. And it seems like there's pain involved. Oh, I'm so excited. Have you ever had to take a baby wipe shower in your travels? No. Well. I was never in the military, but I did have to do it. I was in Tijuana building houses.

And there's no water. You had to go to like two of them. You know how to build houses? Went down there with like a church group to go build houses. How do church groups know how to build houses? I don't think a church group to go build houses. How do church groups know how to build houses? I don't think it's, I mean, it was child labor. I guess Jesus was a carpenter, right? If only their leader.

But you had to take a big old trip to like the Banyo. It was like a shower building because not everyone had showers. And that always wasn't in the cards. So I had to wipe my body down. I just picture you guys flying down or taking like a you're all on this bus driving down to mexico watching a video of jesus teaching teaching like a an ikea video of how to build a house and there's like a it's like they're they're all the same it's like they're all the houses are the same so there's a a template to it and it just shows him like taking two ends clicking them together looking like a an early 80s vhs like the sounds all warpy building with jesus

it's not even jesus but like it's just a dude dressed up as Jesus. It's Jesus. Yeah. And he's like, welcome to a building with Jesus. So you said, let me go back. You said, where was this? The first one? You said the living conditions were atrocious. It actually says austere. Oh.

So I just wanted to look that up to make sure that it wasn't like something specific. No comforts or luxuries. Harsh. Extremely plain and simple style. My brain was just like atrocious. I didn't even, my brain didn't even try. Yeah. Just made up.

It was like, nope, I don't know that one. I was just curious if it like, because I picture atrocious. I picture like. Yeah. Like. Austere. Diseases. But austere, I think it's just, I picture like diseases. But austere, I think it's just plain.

Naughty. Yeah, probably. Naughty and... That's paustere. Oh, yeah, sorry. That's enough. It is the military. Hey! I was just hoping it was something way different, but it turns out it wasn't.

I'm sorry to ruin all your fun. All right, you ready to get into our question to get show number 25 rolling? Yeah. Do you have something else to add before we get there? No. No. I'm good. All right.

Fuck it. Move on. Let's get going, baby. Hey, shut up. Start the show already. All right, Joseph. Hello. This one was sent in.

It says, I think his name is J.D. Powers. That sounds like a commercial. JD Power. Like a power electric. He runs a company of some sort. Yeah, it said ready to build in his email. So I want to make sure I was getting this guy's name right. Every time.

Okay, here's his question. Okay. Every time you sneeze, you get spanked three times with a sex paddle by a dungeon master. Okay. This music is perfect or every time you sneeze you violently shit your pants possibly with blood that is okay possibly with possibly you don't know for sure you're gonna have to do some investigations every once in a while there could be signs of blood and i'm colorblind so that's a that's an issue i don't be i don't usually get to see blood in my poop i'm just gonna die what is well i was gonna say what color does poop look like to you but your description would be wouldn't make any sense because no no it's just certain

colors i can't see uh god man so i'm guessing the the dungeon master sex paddle spank. He's going to give it to you. It's got to be like hard, hard. And I don't, because it says sex paddle, which implies at some point you kind of like it. I want to think maybe it's like more of a torture paddle. Like a sex paddles have, I don't know, sometimes they're not as strong. So you can keep doing it more often. I don't think it's like a vice principal or principal paddle. I feel like you might have some

insight on this i don't really i know about different things that you can slap people with because i just figured a sex paddle was just like a paddle but i mean let's let's go to the internet okay what's the internet let's see i'm gonna look up uh fucking sex paddle sex paddle just google sex paddle or whatever i'm on Facebook marketplace Oh right into it Okay How much are they? A used one Hopefully it's used

New to you Gently used Gently used New to you I mean you can get them For as low as $13.99 Off a website called

Healthy and Active I mean If you've got a sexual Healthy sex life That's Yeah they're just paddles they have different ones they have ones that have um looks like they have holes in them i'm guessing that's a aerodynamic price does like spank me daddy though or something like that on it some of them do like it's just a paddle but then you write something on it and it becomes a sex paddle you got ones with studs on them oh like some just that ow ouchie ouchie mama yeah i don't know she could uh but

the person's swinging it i'm guessing you know what i'm picturing ouch it has to be painful do you remember the game pit fighter pit fighter yeah it was an arcade game kind of barely had the the three guys you could be the the muscle dude the the japanese karate guy or the woman okay and then one of the guys at the end he had to fight he was all muscle and then like basically leather daddy outfit but with the executioner mask on that's what i'm picking picturing this guy yeah that's what he looks like and does he follow you around like is he just on standby for every time you sneeze or does he pop out of the bushes you're like he's going like you're in the grocery store down the cereal aisle and he's just like

hanging out with you he's slapping it against his hand with his hand you're gonna sneeze i just every time you're about to sneeze you're like and you do the little cartoon thing where you put your finger on her nose like it stops it every. And they never go just very rarely. If I'm sneezing, do I just sneeze once? So basically it's going to be two to three times. So it's going to be six to nine whacks by this dungeon master. Every time I sneeze. That sucks.

That's awful. I know it's an ouchy, but so, I mean, sitting down after that, I don't know. I mean, but which one's more embarrassing sneezing in public and violently shitting your pants possibly with blood is pretty i mean that's a dude like what i'm sorry i just made myself cough by trying to replicate the g-force of that shit oh my god that's not that's a good yeah i mean that's what it's just like it and that's the sound of it hitting your pants that actually feels good in the chest

i know why is it everybody at home try it on three one two three oh man who knew so i also picture this like you're at the store and then you do it and then like the guy wheels out some sort of like a pedestal or something and bends you over it and pulls your pants down like a naughty boy so it's a whole ritual you're still yeah like you it's still like when you sneeze you shit your pants that's embarrassing but you still your pants are on you still haven't asked to walk to sit around exactly and if there's blood you know that's you can worry about that later but if you're getting sex paddled in the middle of a grocery store that everyone's gonna see that

yeah i think that's gonna be embarrassing as fuck some's just like, Ow! Ow! Ow! Why are you doing this? He sneezed. No expression on his face. Just whack, whack him. Doing his job. Then back to following you where he just disappears into the cereal. Just a mythical spanking man.

That's kind of where I was thinking too. Like he just, you do it and he's like, he appears out of nowhere. Like with a poof, like a cloud of dust. Like a genie. Yeah. And then he goes back in wherever he lives wherever he happens right back into the into the ether

and that's got to be ouchy that's got to be ouchy i've never done i've never had some like actual really hard paddle spanks i mean when my wife's doing the dishes or something sometimes i'll she's wearing leggings or something i'll let let her have it. Good slap? Yeah. Okay. But you do that once and it's like, oh God, and then it starts to go away. But if you slap it again and then again, three times, it's sore now. Especially if you're hitting the same spot. Oh man.

And then you sneeze in so many different places. Because you can't really really you don't get to control when a sneeze is coming pants bed have you ever uh yeah uh you ever you ever do it when you're when you're you have a sneeze coming on and you're like oh i like sneezing i don't know about you but you like and it like goes away you're like no no yeah and you want because you want to sneeze but it's going away uh and then if you like i think i've told you're like no no yeah and you want because you want to sneeze but it's going away uh and then if you like i think i've told you before like i'll grab like a shoelace or like a thing and start tickling my nose you haven't told me yeah because they're like so you'll be

like oh it's like right there it's going away so now i've got like this um hoodie string i'm like tickling my nose and everything or like if you look at the sun too you'd be well in this situation you'd be pumped it'd be you'd be doing the opposite yeah you'd be trying to do anything you can you just glue your nostrils shut never sneeze again yeah your nose off i feel like it would at some point it'd have to come out and you'd come out your ears or something well apparently come out your ass come out your ass yeah exactly but it'd still make you violently shit your pants just because of shitting your pants while you're getting slapped by a dungeon master yeah and i'd love to i mean i picture it slapping shit everywhere like a hippo that whips his tail around yeah that's a

good one um all over the people in the checkout i picture this happening instantaneously too right the sneeze and the violently shitting your pants so if you do have three in a row it's just this just mass is building up a mass in your pantalones it's just wear diapers well wait you you get spanked you shit you just shit your pants once right it says every time you sneeze oh every oh right i see what you're saying so if you're a multiple sneezer just stack it up it's gonna be a fucking mess but i think i'm still gonna go with that because i don't like the idea of having uh my life or this just dungeon master following me around with a sex battle that says like daddy on it yeah like

you're at your kid's soccer game man this guy's just standing next to you cheering your kids on i just picture like this camera is picture in a show or something with the cameras painting along all the parents are going yeah and all of a sudden it's like six foot seven dungeon master in all leather yeah whapping his daddy his daddy paddle and you're standing in front you're cheering yeah but he's just looming behind you waiting for you to sneeze he gets all excited cracks his neck starts warming his warming his arms up um okay well pants shit i guess that sounds good yeah that's the easiest to conceal but i like i wouldn't want to be there are certain situations where i would be awful i think i'd rather get spanked than have than shit my pants too man those are some big that's ouch it is but pain will go away but like if you're if you're stuck in a situation you just you've shit twice now you've got you know

gigantic pile of shit in your pants and you're at a you just i was gonna say you're at a wedding because you're like a wedding because that would be you're the best man at a wedding you're getting married and and uh you're getting married and there's a sex dungeon master spanking you in the ass there's a whole yeah you got the bride and the groom and the priest and then behind the priest the giant six foot seven leather dungeon master no he's the he's the he's the priest no he's the best man he's standing behind and you're just tapping tapping the whip together and you're like oh my god imagine him walking down the aisle for better or worse he's got to walk down the aisle with someone right so it's just him him with mom with grandma uh-huh giant leather pushing her down

in a wheelchair not pushing her down but yeah he's got he's a he's a good guy he just has a great job he has a job he has a job to do he doesn't ask questions oh he just slaps ass yeah i mean come on it's like a dream job i mean how do you you know like i've always kind of thought this funny like uh if you're a genie or you're something like that like how did you get that job like how did you become a genie or you're something like that, like how did you get that job? Like, how did you become a genie? Sounds miserable though. So like this guy,

how would you, is this guy real? Is this guy a real guy? Like, how did he get this job? Well, if you're, there's a lot of,

I know we have a lot of listeners that are into the BDSM world. tell us, I mean, if, are you a dungeon, little dungeon master? What's it, what do you do?

How do you prep? And are you like, are you are you rent like do people rent you out yeah i went for 100 there's places you can get rented out like dama matrix women dudes show up just get the shit kicked out of right true yeah um but right in hey guys can you don't podcast.com i feel like tell us maybe maybe they're maybe they are vicious. I've never experienced a dominatrix, but I like being a woman. It seems like it's six foot seven muscle bound dungeon master. Wouldn't be quite as appealing.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't think so. Maybe, but maybe he's gentle. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of trust in that circle too.

Like they're not just fucking raising hell. He's's not running down the street just spanking everybody yeah well see there you go now maybe that's not so bad yeah maybe he's a very lovey yeah he knows how to make you come like yeah all this is like you end up loving it that'd be great news like what's the difference between a dungeon master and a Dominatrix? I don't know. Man and woman. I would assume that Dungeon Master is like a Middle Ages torture Dungeon Master, right? That's what we have to assume here.

Oh, yeah. I don't know. For whatever reason, I made it because he put sex paddle in there. So I went to BDSM Dungeon Master. Because I think that's the whole thing. Let me look. I'm going to the internet. Going to India. Dungeon Monitor. Dungeon Masters. Because I think that's the whole thing. Let me look. I'm going to the internet. Going to the internet.

Dungeon Monitor. Dungeon Master is by subtle death. Oh. This doesn't sound very... There's a guy standing on the table in the corner over a naked prone body, pushing his boot down onto the back of her neck. Okay. As many club scenes... This wouldn't be very realistic.

Is that the guy that... We're not reading on it right now. Is that the guy that complimented that chick in the parking lot? Could have been. Because that's the whole thing I'm getting at here. Maybe if it's like a nice, subtle sex paddle, then maybe that's not so bad. That wouldn't be bad at all. Then shit your pants.

For sure would pick that over shitting my pants. But if he is letting it rip, I am letting it rip. Get it? Yeah, I get it. Honky honky? Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Okay. You're going to go shit your pants. I'm going it rip. Get it? Yeah, I get it. Honky honky? Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Okay.

You're going to go shit your pants. I'm going to go with getting spanked. And then we should just do them at the same time. And just look each other

in the eyes and see how it goes. All right. We have something that's very important, very pressing for what are you thinking about today.

Okay. Hey. Hey, what's up, babe? What are you thinking about? Uh, you know, nothing. Actually, you know what? are you thinking about uh you know nothing actually you know what i'm thinking about a lot of shit what are you thinking about what are you thinking about joe what are you thinking about we've actually talked a little bit about this because we wrote an entire video script around oh not about around this exact comp it It was, it's an, it's, we came up with a concept so we could put this in.

Let's be honest. But here's the backstory of why I've been spending the last many months wondering what the hell these things are all about. It was after recording, I don't remember what episode, but probably back in the teen, like 17, 18, somewhere around there. We were just young lads teenagers whole world's different now look at us uh but the weather was starting to turn so it was like heading into fall and it was pretty cold out um and i'm driving down the road uh sherman avenue

here in quarterland beautiful beautiful downtown quarterland idaho and there's this guy standing on the street corner i stop at the light and i look over and he's just standing there and i'm like god that guy looks cool and the reason he looked cool is because he had on fingerless gloves yeah okay and uh his hair very mullet ish okay he had like the super very aerodynamic glasses on if he had to run his glasses were not going to be the thing that was holding him back he was ready to fly and then he had fingerless gloves on okay and i don't know where he was going but instantly i started laughing so hard because at the base like what the fuck is going on with fingerless gloves why yeah like do you want your hands to be warm or not? Can you please make up your mind? Because, I mean, how often are you cold but also need to, like, hold on to a bunch of shit?

It just doesn't, I don't know. Maybe that's his job. Maybe he just walks around. Holds things. And holds stuff in the cold. Maybe. I mean, maybe that's it. Like, I'm saying there's art uses for fingerless gloves.

Like a mechanic. Like, maybe it's cold out, but you still need to hold your screwdriver. I don't know, because the part that gets the coldest is your fingertips, right? I know, I know. I'm just trying to put this anywhere. Imagine the reverse of that. Like palmless gloves, and they're only gloves on your fingertips. Just covers it up and leaves the palm open.

See, that seems like it makes more sense. And you put that material that you can touch a cell phone on well yeah right exactly i was gonna say if you had the argument coming in being like well yeah but i have to use my fingers to touch stuff we've passed that i have running gloves that i got from costco they're like skin tight you know um but they're not fingerless they are finger pro uh pro finger i don't know how to gloves but i can interact with my cell phone on it so there's no excuse for that anymore but god purely cosmetic damn do they look cool they do look cool they look so cool if you were a if you were a bully in the 80s strictly like you had to

have those yeah we both did at the same time punching your fist uh like when you need to feel the veins in your in your like your enemy's neck as you squeeze them i got good news fingerless gloves like you just have to feel their skin yeah as you kill them um like if you have some business to do down at the business place right lots of business so much business and imagine me i'm wearing you gotta give somebody the business i'm wearing just this yeah and the guy over there has something like i'm trying to sell him on something and i could walk in like this or i could walk in with some fucking fingerless gloves on which guy is getting shit done right and it's the fingerless glove guy 100 of the time okay well yeah so let's say's, let's say you're,

let's just say you're some guy hanging out in an alley and somebody walks down the alley, into the alley. You don't know this person. You're like, he's not wearing Fingal's gloves. You're like, okay.

So the guy comes walking down the, the alley with Fingal's gloves flipping a, like a 50 cent piece. Oh, yeah. You're like, oh, I better get out of here. Yeah, you would turn around and just leave that alley because you know this guy there's

nothing nothing good's gonna come of it okay now let's go on adventure okay okay we don't normally talk politics on this show but picture this okay um pick whatever president you want i don't care he's giving his state of the Union address. How much fucking cooler is it if he's waving around his hands and he's got fingerless gloves on? Yeah. Like, this country is ready. He needs more business. This country is ready for fucking war at any moment when you have fingerless gloves on. Oh, and I'm paying more attention immediately.

If you're talking with your hands like Bill Clinton, if he just had fingerless gloves on doing that thumbs up. That's what I was going to say. The thumb thing. Fuck yeah, I'll vote for you again. Because they do the thumb thing. And yeah, so if you just see this black glove with this little finger poking out. Oh, man. Yeah, of course he got a blowjob in the Oval Office.

Right. He wears fingerless gloves. What the fuck do you think was going to happen? Playing saxophone with fingerless gloves? Dude. Yes. That is where it's at. Let's say you're playing music.

Let's say you're homeless and the way you make money is playing saxophone on the corner. Yeah. And it's chilly outside. But you want to feel the instrument. but your hands are sort of cold you got maybe you have ugly palms i don't know hairy palms cover my that's i'm gonna think that's the only reason for fingerless gloves outside of the gym i get it please save the emails i get the lifting gloves because yeah your palms can hurt when you're lifting a bunch of weights and you have to grip onto shit so fingerless gloves fine i'll give you a pass in the gym almost anywhere else no well there's certain things that belong and we've kind of touched on this before like

you go into a gym you're gonna see a guy with like a hoodie in a like a sweatshirt hoodie with no sleeves yeah that's always an interesting combo because he's yeah that one doesn't make sense but it's like okay in a gym fine maybe i'm trying to give him a pass here okay but anywhere else like walking down the street yeah wearing a hood with sleeve no sleeves cut off it's like do you want to be warm or not yeah make up your mind or maybe i'm you know there's something to be said for like i wear a hood when i get cold when i put a hood on it actually warms my whole body up so if you want to regulate your temperature maybe that's a way to do it like with fingers gloves if you if you've

got if you're so i was we got how much snow did we get uh like 10 or 11 inches over here yeah so we're you know i'm outside snow blowing and shoveling yesterday i had snow gloves on my hands were sweaty to the point i took them off and set them off the side because they were getting so sweaty maybe if i would have had fingerless snow gloves but they make the ones the option where the the top comes i was gonna bring that up because i have a pair of those because you're like you want to look like a badass but you're like oh a little bit too cold for that. Those ones are the opposite of making you look like a badass.

Yeah. If there's a safety thing that Velcros to the back of your glove, you can fold it over your little fingies. Yeah. I'm cold. Well, it is kind of funny that when you put your fingers up, now it's a mitten. Right. The shape of a mitten. There's nothing less cool than a mitten.

I know. So, yeah, just thinking about fingerless gloves in general and how cool they make you look. But yeah, you got to make up your mind. You want to be warm or not. And then that got me thinking about some other stuff. Go ahead. I was just going to say like, I just picture guys in like the 80s with those red leather suits, the full body, like the short, the Eddie Murphy short jacket and tight pants.

Yeah. And fucking fingerless gloves double dragon did they oh yeah hell yeah double dragon double dragon best video game ever you can't walk into a fight with without them with full gloves or no gloves yeah it's all slippery um but then you remember the fad and i'm not not sure if they, maybe they're still around, but my dad had a pair of the zipper pants where you could zip on your pant. I had a pair of those in high school. Oh, well, what happened to them? They turned into shorts?

They just became shorts, and I lost the bottoms. Because who the fuck is waking up to start their day, and they're like, either they check the forecast or they step outside and be like, I'm going to zip on my bottom my pants today a little nippy out here so fucking funny because you know what happens is the the idea of being able to do that whenever you want is great in theory great on paper and then you're like hot oh like oh yeah i get to zip these off but when are you ever because you don't go out in those and carry the bottoms with you right i don't know you need to you have to fill your pockets with the bottom of your pants of your own pants and then it gets cold and then you now your pockets are cold imagine imagine the situation where you're sitting but only one leg

is getting hit by the sun so you only take off one yep well then you look like lo cool j right right so you know i got one full pant and one half pant guy yeah oh my god so those are dumb that you know that reminds me of like anything that someone tried to make do you remember like when you're younger and you're in school and somebody did something like somebody wore their sweatshirt inside out and it was like oh this is a cool thing now to wear your sweatshirt always depends on who did though yeah but like the cool like somebody that you thought was was cool and then you start doing that and then like it catches on and then they go back to where now it's like it's not cool anymore so you have to

reverse back to go back like remember because like what were those rappers um crisscross yep where they had backwards they wore their pants backwards like that they thought that was going to be a cool thing i mean they gave it they gave it a good go weren't their overalls they had overalls that were backwards i don't man i'm trying to remember the cassette tape well here's here's an overall thing so like people i remember in the 90s and late 80s and early 90s when we i was a kid i remember people wearing overalls those were very popular but then you couldn't wear you couldn't wear the strap both straps because then that was like you were a dork dorky so you had to have one strap off so like that's what that's kind of

saying we're like okay we can wear this but we got to make it look cool somehow. Like wearing a backpack. If you put both of them on your dork, but you hang one over your shoulder. That was going to be my next example. You're awesome. Yeah, yeah. You'd walk, you'd have, because I remember doing that. I'm like, oh man, it'd be so much more comfortable if my both shoulders took the load of this bag.

It'd be a lot cooler. But you couldn't walk into it. God. Why do I have so many back issues and shoulder issues? Got to look cool. Had to look cool and then one last one i wanted to bring up uh that's again in the same zone are just visors yep where like you could just wear a hat i mean i get it glasses maybe yeah just wear glasses um but the only and what i think about visors is that you don't want people to

think that you're bald because you put a hat a hat on, they're going to be like, oh, this guy's bald. So this person with the visor is like, I don't want people to think I'm bald. I'm going to show off my hair. But I also want to have something on my head. And that's why they wear the visor. Remember that stage when people wear their visor backwards and upside down? Oh, man. What are we doing?

What are humans doing? It's so goofy. That's the whole thing. Visors were cool. It's like, well, now they're not cool because my dad wears a visor, so I'm going to flip it upside down and turn it backwards. I mean, the backwards hat, that was like, I remember when that, like King Griffey Jr., he started doing that,

and like all the old-timers were like, oh, turn your hat around. Right. Oh, he's wearing your hat around. Right. Oh, yeah. He's wearing. What is wrong? Yeah. And then what is funny about that is when you see someone like backwards hat in glasses. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Because that's purely cosmetic.

Oh, yeah. Or the backwards hat that they put their hand up. Yeah. Like this to get the sun out of their eyes. Yeah. So it's a classic move. This has got reminded me. My dad used to.

He doesn't anymore cause he's dead, but he used to wear a neck gator on his head. Like, so the neck gator, you don't snowboard, do you? So they make like a, when you're snowboarding or skiing,

you slip it down and it goes around your neck. Yep. So the snow doesn't get down your shirt and he just wears it on his head. So the top was open, but then it would keep his ears and everything. Kind of. Yeah. But a beanie without the top on it okay so well there's another one you see like the short beanies that

people wear underneath their ears or like above their ears it's like it's like a tiny little cap yeah it's like a bigger yarmulke i mean that's that's purely cosmetic too right i mean that's a prerequisite for working at the apple store actually listen my ears do not get cold but the top of my head does um yeah so i mean he does escape through the head it does it does absolutely so maybe i don't know we have to just buy these products and figure them out and all this all this to say is fucking finger was close uh yeah and having said all this kind of stuff um dress how you want. Who cares? Yeah, don't be bummed out when people judge you, though, okay?

Yeah. Well, I get that shit all the time. I've always got that shit. So, whatever. All right, well, let's move on to the DIC. You ready for that? What's going on over there? Oh, squeaky chair.

Squeaky, squeaky, squeaky, squeaky. Hopefully the filters didn't cut it out because something just looked really weird. Oh, yeah. If that didn't make it through. Alright, ready to move on? Yeah, I'm being really quiet in the mic. I think you're doing a great job. I'm so proud of you. I want to make noise.

You're going to ruin it, huh? Yeah. Oh, man. Is it dumb? Is it interesting? Is it cool? Then it's dick. Dick.

On to the dick. This brought up a lot of questions in my noodle. Not that noodle. The brain noodle. Because I never really thought about staffing shortages in this particular department. But as you see here, this article says cases dismissed for punching toddler in face, attempted murder and arson due to Riverside County judge shortage. Did you ever think about that? Because I immediately think

of restaurants. Right. Like the service industry where they don't have enough or like just goods, anything. Where they just don't have the supply and demand of the people. The numbers. 9-1-1. Right. Things like that. But I never thought about them running out of judges and people just being able to punch kids and get away with it yeah you you show up to court and there's

just no judge the chair is just spinning right be back in five minutes they have a little out to lunch not to lunch see it see it one you're like free but this uh this is riverside county uh california says an incident in which a woman allegedly punched a one-year-old baby in the face is one of hundreds of criminal cases recently dismissed in riverside county due to the judge shortage okay just so we're clear one year old is not a baby anymore you like come like calm down it's not like you're beating a baby here it can walk most likely they're right i mean come on get in there uh that's why i got let go had nothing to do with judge shortages. Like, this isn't a baby.

You reached a year. It's like a cutoff point. Like a whatever. You're free punch. You're in free range of punching. When you're 18, you're an adult. When you're one. You get punched.

You can get punched. That's what I always say. More than 500 cases have been dismissed over the course of the past month alone. 500? Approximately 50 of those cases involved felony offenses including attempted murder stalking assault vandalism arson robbery and a hate crime according to public officials okay can i just such a shit show can i just say something right off the bat and then you can get back on here yeah if if that many of the cases were those i mean because you think like 500 cases

and there's like there's a few of these attempted murder but it's not like that's a fuck ton of them it's not like it's not like there's a couple of those and everything else is petty shit like there's a that's a lot they can't bring in a judge in from another anyway maybe they maybe they will i don't know you you that's just crazy to me many of the cases were prepared to go to trial so i'm going to go down and read the okay here we go so the carissa guvara the mother of the one-year-old child who was allegedly punched in the face by a woman in a parking lot six months ago said the case involving her toddler was one of the misdemeanor cases that have been dropped. Why was that only a misdemeanor, first of all?

So after me pleading to him, the judge, multiple times in my statement that I wrote, he still ended up saying there's not enough courtrooms in Riverside County. We're dismissing the case. As soon as I heard dismiss, I just couldn't hold my tears back. Guevara said she was picking her one-year-old daughter up from daycare when a woman she knew approached her from behind. She came up from behind me and I pleaded to her. I asked her to at least let me put my child down. She disregarded everything and started throwing punches.

So as they fell down, obviously the attacker punched the baby in the midst of all of this. And she's obviously traumatized of it because he said that you know the baby started screaming which is so fucking but to hear this hear this statement right and then maybe there's just some crazy shit happening in riverside county uh like what's the what's the amount of crimes that are happening where this one is uh is passable yeah he's like he's like okay um okay punch a baby but like this guy punched three babies so we're gonna take this case because that's crazier than one baby getting punched and it's a year old and it's a year old which is basically an adult um well this sounds like this was a baby that was caught in the crossfire yeah crossfire speaking of fingers gloves the leather jacket lightning Crossfire. Yeah. Crossfire! We ain't caught up in those! Speaking of fingerless gloves.

Crossfire! The leather jacket. Yeah. Lightning bolts. I think they had fingerless gloves in that commercial. I think they did. Leather jackets and fingerless gloves. Though my brain's putting it on there, but I don't know for sure.

I'm going to look that up. Yeah, but for the judge to hear that and be like, no, just not enough room for that. Not enough room for you and this baby puncher. Come get this figured out. Yeah, like what what takes precedent like what uh i don't know what i'm gonna look up riverside county oh good because i'm looking up uh crossfire commercial and this kid is definitely wearing fuck yeah

i think one of them is your thing plugged in can we hear the the song i don't know i think you have the okay i think one of i think one of them is wearing the gloves And the other one isn't And the one that is is probably going to win Do you remember this commercial though? Yeah I do I hope it doesn't blow our ears Hopefully an ad doesn't hit

You're going to get an ad Oh nice Some time in the future See that kid with the Yeah dude totally This is so sick the bass See the kid with the fingerless glove one and he's got the it's the one the fingers gloves with the strap so you can see a little bit of the back of the hand the skin in the on the back yep

he won and he fist bumped and you could see the other guy that got sent off on a freaking lightning bolt because he wasn't wearing fingerless gloves stretcher let me just say this I've never once in my life played crossfire seen somebody on a stretcher wearing fingerless gloves

that's true no that's true I've never seen that combination you should see the other guy because it doesn't

fucking happen it's always you should see the other guy celebrating yep who the cops are lifting up

on their shoulders in victory and praising him for his gloves and the guy's shirtless. The hardest punches he's ever seen. I've just never seen it. Real quick.

I was listening to you read it, but then I got kind of confused. Okay. Because I didn't realize she was caught in the crossfire. I just pictured she was like loading groceries in her car and she punched her baby. Who knows? So she was holding her baby and then a woman attacked her. They had some beef. Okay.

I don't know. They didn't say when it was over. I don't know. Could have been some petty beef. Maybe we should, maybe we should, because apparently there was a video of this that happened. Yeah. And maybe we should do some petty beef.

Oh man. No, I don't. Yeah. There's some video of it. I'm not, I didn't look up the baby getting punched but it just i didn't think of of staffing shortages hitting the judicial system and that's i mean that's makes sense and it's very sad it's like the purge yeah like some guy goes into the the courtroom that day he's he's going in there for like like attempted murder he's like god i

could be in for 10 years and he walks in there and the judge is judge is just in there for attempted murder. He's like, I could be in for 10 years. And he walks in there and the judge is just sitting there. And he's like, bye. And he's like, fuck yeah. See you guys next month. Woo. Just like shoots a gun into the ceiling and runs out the courtroom door. Everyone's sitting in. There's a clock ticking down because the trial has to start at noon or whatever.

And if he doesn't show up. You're free. Yeah, you're free to go. So you're just sitting there like come on come on come on maybe that's the way that fingerless gloves you're tapping your fingers rubbing your good luck fingerless gloves um maybe that's just the way the world should work maybe you don't know if you're going to get away with it or not that'd be a one way to spice things up if every crime you ever did you did have a chance of getting away with it

maybe that would give you some perspective though you're like oh man i love killing people no no i was going the other way like oh i got away with this wow there's my here's my second chance in life to straighten out or kill more people um you could but it's like well next time he could show up and then obviously i will be guilty but i got away with it this time so so maybe I should change my life. It's so sad to think about. Just like a horrific crime. Like you're on meth and you run over a family of six in a crosswalk. And then you just get to go home. And do more meth.

And do more meth to forget about what you've done. To think about what you've done for a long time. Because you'll be awake all the days. And you see it to think about, wow, I was fucking. And then run over another family because you'll be awake all the days and you see to think about and then run over another family because you didn't lose your lesson hope i don't do that again something tells me uh he doesn't give a shit he's just pumped he didn't have to he's just move on with his addiction he's that's a celebration to get more meth get more meth and run over another family yeah i doubt that guy's going home be like i'm gonna turn my life around he's like shit that could have been really bad anyway man all right well you don't make this

much better what more math math makes everything better uh okay well let's take a look at another another dick article for this week shall we yeah um and i it's the damn thing it's right there are you doing this or am I doing this? Do you want to do it or I can do it? I'll do it, doesn't matter I'll do it Okay, you do it Let me do it This is from the August man

The August man dot com Game over, this Oculus VR headset Kills you in real life If your video game character dies What? Imagine if your character's life if your video game character dies what imagine if your character's death in a video game also causes your demise in real life you would you definitely wouldn't just run out into nope and start firing you would be a lot more careful wouldn't you yeah the like a strategic uh military like point of view gun game yeah shooter first person shooter yeah that'd be

there wouldn't there not be anybody probably want to be a sniper you'd load into the game and not see a single person like that would be such an adrenaline rush yeah just to start the game and you're in a hiding spot you're like god i just get back out i'd be like cool i didn't die in the one second that i was in the game it would would be crazy if you saw, like when someone, it says like, so-and-so killed, you know. Right. Or yeah, you shot him. And then you're like, I just killed that dude. You know in real life the VR headset just shot into his brain and killed him.

Maybe that would give some people perspective, the video. Because we are a little desensitized to death and stuff because of games like that. Not that games are causing things necessarily, but we are. Our sensitivity is a little bit down. Whatever. We're getting a whole other thing here. Cause your demise in real life. Such a scenario sounds like something right out of a horror flick or British dystopian series Black Mirror, which I've wanted to start.

Oh, yeah, you should do it. There's some dumb ones though. Terrifyingly, it's set to become a reality. It is true that a new age simulated games, sets, oh my God. Gaming sets. Let me start over. You got it. It is true that new age simulated games

and gaming sets are blurring the lines between the physical and the virtual worlds. However, Oculus founder Palmer Luckey is taking this to a new extremes sets are blurring the lines between the physical and the virtual worlds however oculus founder palmer lucky is taking this to a new extremes by claiming that his latest vr headset will literally kill the player when their gaming avatar or character dies in an ode to the famous japanese light novel sword online sword art online which is also adapted into an anime series lucky has developed his innovative vr headset which can literally kill you just like it happens in the novel right so i mean we've heard did this happen where what did this happen in there i mean there's plenty of

movies that have approached this concept i forget which ones they are though at the top of my head jumanji jumanji yeah fuck that's one um there's one from the 90s brain scan is that one does that come to i don't know i think he was a video game dude uh i don't know if it's a brain scanners but there's yeah i mean whatever so you die in real life ready player one does that do the same thing um didn't see it but uh yeah just strapping on a vr headset and then i like the idea of the idea of how i see this happening is what i'm trying to say like this could definitely happen in the future it's going to be a high paid job just like a like you're going to be some sort of fighter some hero who is so amazing but you're playing video games and risking your life by stepping into these first-person shooters. Okay.

I mean, I could definitely see it happening. I would watch it on TV, which is sad. Of course. That sounds like a Squid Game type scenario, right? Mm-hmm. I haven't read the rest of the article. Like, how does it actually kill you? Because that, imagine, like, when you die, what does it do? does it send a shock wave to your head and kill you like a zap or does it

the headset explode blow your head off this particular one that he has it had if you look at the picture at the top of the page it has like three prongs out of the top okay and the front that's connecting to your frontal lobe okay Okay. So it's shooting things into your brain. My God. Mm-hmm. And that's a fun way to go. So, yeah. So is this real or not? I'm guessing it's just, it's a concept. It's a, something to get you talking.

How do you get, cause how do you get away with something like that? I don't know. Like there's gonna be a lot of, okay. You're going through the things. Agree. Agree. Agree. And no one, no one reads anything one it's like make sure it's

like yeah no die die death yeah agree agree agree or like you're not paying attention for a second and like your kid hops into your game and that's fun to think about well okay i i i've had plenty of situations where like i play battlefield sometimes online and you're playing and all of a sudden why it's like hey can you come help me i'm like i'm writing i'm playing live against other people can you wait five minutes for a no so you're like fuck so you just have to run upstairs and you just leave your guy in the middle of the battlefield oh yeah and then if you you're like i can't come help you with the groceries or i will die i will literally then i will never be able to help you with the groceries if there's that's one way to settle there'll be a lot of um some murder charges coming up where you hate this person but you know they play that game so you go and you

have a training montage and you get good at the game and you go in there and kill them and you get away with illegally cool huh yeah yeah like some game that has like friendly fire like hey you want to be in my squad right all right hey or you go you go you go around the corner i'll get your back i'll give you cover you just headshot man that's awful and then you t-bag him while he's dead you're going you hear their family screaming in the background and you're just t-bagging his body god that's awful or like you're going, You hear their family screaming in the background. Yeah. And you're just teabagging. Teabagging his body. God, that's awful.

Or like you're trying to go through the tutorial, and you're like, and he's like fucking around, jump off a building, and you're like, oh, shit. He just explode. I just thought that was a neat concept to bring into the show.

Not necessarily funny, but definitely gets your brain thinking. It would be fun to think of some creative ways that into the show. I'm not necessarily funny, but definitely get your brain thinking. It's, I, it would be fun to think of some creative ways that, um, that, that it would actually kill you. Cause like if you're, let's say you're playing, your family

is over for Christmas and you're like, oh, you got the new Oculus headset and everyone's taking a turn. They don't know that though. You're like, it's a, your uncle Bill is over and he's like, let me see don't know that though. You're like, it's your Uncle Bill is over. And he's like, let me see that new video game console you got there. And you put it on. He's like, all right, Bill, I just want to let you know, like, once you just go out there

and we're going to show, and then boom, he's just dead. Like his head blows off. And then no one else gets to play. Yeah, because it's all wet. Well, it's exploded. I know. That would be a thing. Like if it

Like if it exploded and then you can't play anymore I knew someone was gonna ruin Christmas But if you did just if it did just shoot you and like it's still functional But it's got brain matter all over it. You gotta like gives you a thing to wipe it down It comes with a cleaning cloth. Yeah, it comes with its own thing. We've just become so detent desensitized by everything You just like roll his body over to the corner and wipe off the thing. It comes with some Lysol, like a little. A trial pack.

Yeah. Oh, man. All right, let's move on to Petty B for this week. God damn, my toes are cold. Right? Yeah, that's why I'm wearing the hood. Silence in the court. You are now entering the Petty petty beef courtroom where all sides of some

bullshit will be heard and evaluated the people are real the cases are real the rulings are final ish this is petty beef i'm gonna do this with no mistakes joe petty beef petty beef time uh our petty beef this week the first one coming in from our disgruntled son trevor trev dog t-dog where you been my buddy trevor my buddy trevor he said he called dibs on the couch or whatever and it totally makes sense he's like hey fuckers that's classic trev classic treat trev dog dude trevster trevi so when i chase oh my god so when i lived in new mexico i had a roommate it was mostly clue cool it was mostly cool played a lot of hockey on the xbox and mostly partied chase girls around an awesome mountain house pretty cool 24 year old dude set up but i digress bro trev dude classic job classic

so this roommate we call him christian because that's his name oh we're just fucking around we do love you my name's christian my friends call me christian had purchased a vehicle without having a driver's license and he was a at least adult version of an adult you could imagine good guy but like no time for like dmvs while i was gone on a fire assignment he moved out and unannounced uh with his cunt of a girlfriend and left me with the rent and or whatever and and his piece of shit durango he bought is it bothering you that i'm reading it like no i'm gigging me i tried to contact him multiple times only to find out that his phone was shut off dude fucking classic christian dude his cunt girlfriend made made him get a new plan

with her all family plan dude totally fucking bitch move she didn't like me and i get that yeah well fast forward two months it was it was like time for me to move out because uh i took a new position in idaho and tried calling him again and again i even looked for him at where i thought he worked and nothing dude but i i need his fucking car gone or whatever yeah so since he never even registered in his name and it had to go so i get my deposit back i sold it uh i sold to a tow company for 700 bucks well two months later he finally calls bitching me out about stealing his car or whatever i gave him the name of the tow tow company fucking company that i sold it to and they told him that they fixed it up but now it was going to cost

$2,200 to get it back. Dude. In my opinion, he's just an irresponsible asshole but he is threatening to sue me for $2,200, dude. Like, what the fuck? Which he can't win

but in a court of can you don't favor oh, fuck. If the court of can you don't favor with him i'll work i will fork over 700 bucks love you guys love the show three to five stars wouldn't change the thing also blind you suck at reading dude fuck you dude like uh did a cat teach you how to read i worry for your kids your asshole son trevor sent from my iphone what's funny is we are uh

we're doing the reading thing with kids now yeah yeah i read kid books fine now you have you're very animated fella so i bet you you read you're a fun person dude i get into the character i started doing accents and my kids want that they're like do the spanish accent do the german accent yeah there was um yeah my dad was so good at that it, do the Spanish accent, do the German accent. Yeah, there was, yeah, my dad was so good at that. It wasn't even about the book. It was just about the voices. He would make it

and he'd go back in time. Yeah, let me take you back in time, you old heifer. Yeah, I get the book and I'm like, I was like, I tried to contact him multiple times. It was like Dr. Soice books.

Oh, yeah. I've never heard of him. Is that like the dollar store brand of Dr. Soice? No, that's the real Dr. Soice. Okay. That's how his name is pronounced, real. For real, dude. All right.

We've been pronouncing it all wrong, dude. Whole time. Okay, Trevor. Also, again, please don't get sad about us making fun of you the whole time. Well, hopefully he's heard of Colin. Oh yeah, exactly. Or that doesn't make any sense to him.

He's like, what the fuck are these guys doing? Trevster. Oh man. I'm in. What's your knee jerk reaction on this? Honestly, I was trying so hard concentrating on reading it and doing the voice. I don't even know what I read. That's helpful. Can you, can you like. Summarize it? Summarize it or whatever. Yeah, fucking. I was trying so hard concentrating on reading it and doing the voice. I don't even know what I read.

That's helpful. Can you like summarize it? Summarize it or whatever? Yeah, fucking. So this dude, right? Fucking. No, he left. His roommate left with his girlfriend and he left a Durango on his property.

And then he tried to get a hold of him and he couldn't get a hold of him. So then he just sold the Durango to the tow company for 700 bucks. And the dude just popped back into his life later and said, Hey, you stole my car. And he's like, no, I sold it. And the tow company fixed it up. So now it's going to cost 2,200 bucks to get it back instead of the 700 bucks. But it was never under his name. He never went and registered the car.

He just bought it and then just sat on the property or he drove it illegally. I'm not sure which one. One of those two. Well, from a legal standpoint, the guy's got a point right like he'd yeah if he if he would stay if he was still paying rent on the house trevor then you are in the wrong because he like legally i don't think you could just get his shit off the property if he's still on the lease is that the same as taking someone's espresso machine and put it in storage. Very similar. Just ramped up. This is a way bigger deal. But I think he didn't mention if that was on there.

So let's just assume he said he did move out. So if he moved out and he just was gone and you couldn't get a hold of him to get his goddamn car off your property, then I go back to Trevor's side where it's like, yeah, well, you didn't. I gave you this long to come get your goddamn car and you never did so i don't want it sitting in front of my house or in my house i don't know where the car is or whatever fucking uh yeah so i don't know i don't know i guess there's a couple different things but oh it does say in here it says it was two months of him trying to get uh in charge or in in contact with his buddy christian

we'll call him christian because his name is christian uh for two months and he couldn't do it and the guy came back he's like what the fuck dude god i know those guys i've seen this situation so many times it's usually in college where you're just like it's like oh fuck you knew i was gonna come and get that it's like well you were gone for a whole semester. Of course I don't have your hat. Where the fuck do you think I've been? Hold on to your hat for a year? Oh, no, man, you said I left my shirt here.

Yeah, I told you that was two years ago. I didn't just hold on to it the whole time. That became a cum rag months ago. As soon as you told me you liked it, I came all over it. Yeah, of course. Of course it's covered in cum. Do you know how many backs that thing has wiped off? Come come on you left your girlfriend here yeah come on man you can't just kind of have her back um yeah i tend to i think i'm on trevster's side yeah unless he's

still on the lease unless he really wasn't trying to get a hold of him he just he tried kind of yeah he sort of like he sent him a message on xbox yeah he was like hey it's fucking you it's trev dog it's trevor it's trevor i don't know if you could fucking and his way of getting contact with him was like hey i'm gonna sell your fucking durango you pussy and then that was all he sent yeah and he's like i tried to reach him i don't know but that's it trevor you can write back into hey guys at can you don't podcast.com and let us know uh because i love those details but we're just we need those details in order to make a final ruling and because you actually do have 700 on the line we i feel like we do need to make a ruling um and so hopefully we can do that for

you soon and and the thing is if he really tried and he made a real effort then i tend to side with with him yeah as long as he's being honest here but his name's trevor so yeah that's dude trevor's always into shady shit i know two trevors both are wild as fuck yeah super wild dudes yeah um just so based on your name we need we need more evidence because purely off of your name we can't trust you should be in jail purely off your name you should be in you'd be locked up for life yeah there's certain people have like when you're given a name it's like you have you're given a path in life that's what they say yeah and trevor trevor it's straight felon like just go to death row i do picture him playing an Xbox, though. So that fits.

The shoe fits there. And not a PlayStation. An Xbox. An Xbox. Or whatever. If you have just shitty roommate stories, I always love those. Please send them in. Send them our way.

All right, let's get some good news for this week. We love you, Trev. Yeah, we do. So you're telling me there's a chance. Hooray. We are doomed. Yeah! Are you ready for some good news?

I guess. Okay. Pulling this one from today.com. But a Dallas sushi chef. Sushi. Dallas sushi chef learns how to sign the menu for a deaf couple. Nearly brought them to tears. But as you can imagine, if you have a disability,

like you're hard of hearing or deaf, a lot of the world is not going, probably not hearing what I'm saying right now. But that aside, if you know somebody, you're used to walking around, and how many people know sign language? I have no idea.

There's so many, almost every other language, I know somebody that speaks that. I don't think I know a single person that's fluent sign language i have no idea there's so many almost every other language i know somebody that speaks that i don't think i know a single person that's fluent sign languager i have no idea so the surprise when you walk in to order some sushi and the chef's just like it knows the entire menu that's such a such a beautiful moment yeah i mean that's a cool thing to be able to i mean anytime you can speak another language yeah no matter what it is badass yeah are there different and maybe i'm just uneducated on this sign language and other languages or is it one universal language for all there's got to be i'm going to look it

up really quick that's interesting sign language i've had to go to the old internet a lot today like you're learning is there like japanese sign language there is no universal sign language cool different sign languages are used for different countries and regions well let's be honest some countries probably just don't give a shit about about hands deaf people or blind people or anything so they just don't care like fuck you you're like you're on your own sorry good luck like this is their they just flip them off two two birds two fingers way up like two birds here's sign language for you that's universal well no some countries that means other things yeah like i don't know fuck you and then that i

mean there's all and the peace sign like a certain way i think backwards is fuck you and some part of the world i don't know i don't remember all these things in the playground that would be would be funny if you're just like you're trying to give someone like a happy salute you just go and what it means is like go fuck yourself yeah or i i want to kill you or something like that and then you get shot give him a thumbs up he's like oh everyone gasps no and he goes he turns it down he just goes he just started he just shoves it up his butt you're like oh god actually shoves it in his butt and then he's like and you're like all right didn't know it i was just saying good job i did not know it was going to turn into this uh but i love that story yeah you can read the whole article

if you want to if you want to find it if you're interested in reading more we're not going to read it on today's show but real quick it's got to be such an incredible thing to witness and also for that that comp that couple to have the like the whole menu is like what do you want i got you covered yeah and it's just uh not not expecting that you walk in you're like oh this is going to be interesting and then well i guess i guess it's cool can't you just read never mind oh see i'm trying to take it to it like do you really need to get signed when you could just read it? Yeah, probably. I'm guessing they're blind.

Well, then how they've seen the sign. I'm just fucking with you. I don't know if anybody knows this, but like, you know, Braille, you can read, obviously. But like trying to listen to a podcast or something, something that's so. Can you imagine listening to this? Exactly. Through Braille? Yeah. It'd be be a nightmare that's what i'm thinking like you just the page is just nonsense dots layering over other dots and like stacked up it's like penis dick butt yeah thumb what the fuck is happening but i just picture like a a person that's that's blind like they're they're running their finger along they're like right and they're like wait what did he say and they run it back again

like that's crazy to think like i maybe there's a simpler way that because that's not fair or no if you're never mind if you're just blind then you can listen to it but if you're deaf and blind i guess is what i'm thinking. Yeah. You know what they say, the scariest thing to read in Braille is do not touch. Yeah. That's, I can't imagine coming across that situation. You're like, oh, fuck. Yeah. Oh, do not teen.

You're like, shit. Okay, I found something funny on the internet. Let's do it. They're just, I don't know. They're just so much, people with things like that are just way more stronger than I would ever be, I think. I would not do well. In that, I know. Yeah. i guess you don't know till you're in it you would you don't but i have a good sense of how much of a baby i am yeah the internet is pretty wild depending on your browsing habits you can either experience something super cool or go to prison crazy right let's check it out together

as a couple hey look what i found yes that's awesome oh if you listen to anything that i've done uh on any podcast ever you know i'm a fan of a good prank i love a good prank and this one is just so well thought out and And if it works out, it's a double happy thing. But this is a Joker happy birthday prank card with glitter and a press button. So you've seen these. I've talked about

them before. You can buy these little sound modules that make like cricket noises or like a meow. Or you can program it to say whatever you want. And it just does it what i read random times and it goes on for years and years into the floorboards you never know what's there and this birthday card you push it and it never stops singing happy birthday to you so eventually the joke is not funny anymore and what would you do if the the speaker wouldn't shut up what would

you do my first instinct would be to look for where the sound's coming from. So you would grab the card and you rip it open. And that's where this Joker happy birthday prank card gets even funnier. Because then once you rip it open to find the speaker, that's where all the glitter is. So as you rip it open to stop it, then it just shoots glitter all over the place and you get to laugh twice as much. Is it still playing the music while it rips open? so now you already hate that and now your face is full of glitter yep then you just have glitter all over wherever you are when you try to try to do it that's such a genius little double prank i'd love to see it go down in real life yeah that would be

that's it's great because you're like oh okay i got i'll get to the bottom of this yeah and then and then yeah now you have a mess to clean up too It's a glitter bomb on top of ruining your life It's currently unavailable So it's pretty popular it looks like But keep your eye on it Because that's a pretty funny one Okay let's hear from some of our kids

Okay Alright let's hear what you guys think Really? You want to talk to me? Wow, that's cool. All right, that first email coming in for a mile soon. Jarrett. Okay. You guys brought up the movie Arachnophobia on a recent episode.

Oh, yeah. You did. And it reminded me of a high school kid I worked with at a family-owned cabinet shop. I've never thought I'd know what could happen when you refuse to poop. Okay. Here we go. All right. It's 2008 or 2009.

Me and a crew would have lunch in a break room with the owner who was this kid's dad. So he confirmed this shit as it was being told. The kid is 16 or so. Okay. Somehow the movie Arachnophobia came up and the kid said he hated that movie.

It ruined his life for a while after seeing it with the family when he was younger. Every few days he would literally shit the bed

in his sleep or get intense abdominal pain and his parents had to go to the hospital to have a doctor get the petrified poop out of him.

Fun. So after a month or so of this, and no one could figure out if he had cancer or a faulty digestive system, he finally admitted that, I'm scared to poop. I don't want to get killed by something.

The last time, he had to have the doctor reach in there and remove his crap. Oh. So he must be terrified that a spider is going to come around and bite him in the ass or the ballsack. He had been forcibly holding it every time he had to poop because he was so afraid of a spider biting him in the toilet seat after seeing that movie for weeks and weeks laugh my fucking ass off uh thanks for reading my story and i hope you like that shit oh i can i can vouch or i can i can vouch yeah not vouch i can uh yeah sympathize with this because i don't remember if it was due to this that movie or not but i remember when i was younger

and i don't know if it was a dream or if i was waking if i was awake and visualizing this but i remember being asleep or in bed and then seeing spiders coming down from the ceiling on webs yeah and like swinging down from the ceiling and i remember getting up to try to go to my parents room and walking out and then like having to like duck in the doorway because there were spiders coming down from the doorway and i was like almost crawling on the ground to get through the thing and to this day i don't remember now if it was a dream or if I was visualizing that while I was awake. Okay.

And I remember it being terrifying. There were spiders everywhere. There was a video of a guy or a girl, I don't remember, that flushed the toilet, I think in Australia, and a giant spider came out from underneath the rim like an australian spider like a fucking big one and i it did get me to flush the toilet before i used it for a while it must have been like some anti-water lovers like they just put on a campaign like giant spiders are just living inside of the toilet bowl all the time

but i actually have had i've seen i mean spiders come out of toilet seats and stuff like when you're you know whatever standing in the bathroom and it comes off underneath it that shit is a little spooky you know it's like for for guys or outie vaginas when you sit down you gotta you know you tuck your wiener in the in the bowl in the seat so it's hanging down so yeah like you don't i mean it's doesn't matter if you've got something hanging down it can be your butt but you are more susceptible with the dangly yeah he's kind of stuck tackle hanging there your tackle box all open and everything uh whatever all right let's this is the second email we got this one pretty good coming in from uh our son who either purposefully or accidentally left his name off the email.

Could definitely go either way. But they write, hey, guys. In your latest episode, Joe was talking about his college days and having to see that green wall. Remember my buddy that would just come all over the wall? Oh, yeah. Well, this reminds me of growing up. I lost my virginity at the age of 13. Whoa.

But then had a dry spell for a few years. So I had to turn to some self-love. Okay. I figured out that if you throw a condom on, you have less cleanup and you just tie the condom to prevent spillage. Genius, right? Well, the issue was trying to dispose of the filled condoms. Because, yeah, you just made a balloon animal. So rather than trying to

sneak them in the trash can or flush them down the toilet, I used a hole in the wall This hole was made by my door being open too hard Oh no And one hit too many times This went on for about nine years So picture the inside of the wall

With a fuck ton of tied up condoms I patched the wall before we moved And it makes me laugh to think that the house Was a wall full of used condoms I know it's kind of gross But I was young and horny. Sue me. Anyways, thanks for the laugh, stepfathers.

Keep up the good work. God, that's funny for the person that comes across that just, what? They're like, they're going to expand his room or something. They tear down part of the wall and there's just... Or something else, like, whatever. Something falls and puts a hole in the wall and then he's out comes a bunch of used condoms i would move like at that point you don't know if all the walls yeah it's like what lunatic like that's insulation that's the insulation was just a bunch of used

condoms oof have you ever found your head hits the wall and they go like oh out rolls a bunch of used condoms on top of your head like what's this in your mouth oh my god that's pretty funny though have you ever have you ever like any house you've ever lived in or whatever like just found your shit found something like what is this yeah um the funniest one or the best one was in college uh because some hooligans that were just like us there was apparently a hole in the wall at some point and before patching it up they put money and then notes and like other funny things in the wall i remember exactly what it was it was like anything super crazy and funny but the note was like it was like it was hey, you punched a hole in this wall too.

And he left it in there and then it was all patched up. And I think it was like, it was from the 90s. It's like 94, I want to say. And then us in 2007 smashed a hole in the same wall and then found their notes and all their stuff on the wall. So that was pretty funny. You would have been cool if they left a phone number or something. Call me. Yeah.

Because I mean, that would, it's no cell phones like it would have been a landline but that a calling card a pager right page me that didn't last long it's it's i mean that's such a long play of a joke you're not there to see it and that dude he doesn't even want to have a pager but that's what he wrote down on the wall so he's been waiting for someone to find it so for the rest of his life he still has that pager but that's what he wrote down on the wall so he's been waiting for someone to find it so for the rest of his life he still has that pager right and pays to keep it alive you know it's like someone's gonna find it he has all the new technology but he still has a pager because he's waiting for that day waiting for somebody to to punch through the wall when we redid uh the kitchen here at the house i did put funny shit in the walls though like funny pictures and drew stuff and wrote things oh yeah you told me that yeah it's a really funny picture that that pepper drew when she was a kid that made aaron

look like she had a massive dong it was such a funny photo yeah it's so an outie um it's so funny so i've taped a bunch of those in the walls so i hope someone will find those uh someday i just love i mean that's ultimate like treasure finder down the line seeing something like that but you're not around to see it but it would be cool if you if it happened in your lifetime and there was a way that you got to maybe you click it and like a camera turns on because now you could do that yeah and then uh and then it sends a feed to wherever you're at and your phone's like notification someone just punched a hole in your wall. Yeah, like a little sensor, a light sensor. It's a ring.

It plays happy birthday. Yeah. He punched it and it's like, crossfire! That's what it is. It's one of those things, they're sick of the noise, so they're punching holes in the wall trying to find it. He found it! Yeah.

And then it's a ring camera, and then it it notifies your phone and then you're able to talk to them while they're like oh hey hey like you're on your deathbed yep so good uh all right well that was show number 25 that was fun do you want to do the the ending okay credit thing you're doing a great job today hey thanks joe i love you sorry all right let's not overdo it all right hey thanks guys let's see if i can do this um if you want to become part of the gaggle and that that means uh being in the patreon being a patron it really does help us out. Go ahead. Sorry. Yeah, anyway, so in the Patreon, we're doing extended cuts now.

We got the honk edition. So if you stay tuned after this episode, we're going to keep the party going so you can be a part of the Patreon and hear some exclusive content. Be sure to follow us on IG and Facebook at CanYouDon'tPodcast. Subscribe to our YouTubes at CanYouDon'tPodcast. And if you have something you want to see on the show, email that shit to heyguys at CanYouDon'tPodcast.com.

And then, what else do you rate and review us wherever you listen to the podcast? Are we on Amazon yet? I think so. We've always been on Amazon, haven't we? It's on Pandora. I haven't checked. I just gave up. But we've always been on amazon haven't we it's on pandora we're waiting on yeah i haven't just gave up but we will get back on it because they wrote us a million times and said they're just waiting to add us and then i'm not sure if they ever ever did because we still get people asking maybe we don't know what to say i know i've written them uh i gave up like two

months ago of writing them every week and then we tried for like three weeks we're working on it anyway yeah thanks to the babysitters and the playground we appreciate you moderating keeping the the hooligans

in check in check putting some in time out put them in the corner if you need to organizing the Red Rover games all that kind of stuff

yeah hey that's pretty much it yeah wanna wrap this fucker up let's do it put a bow on it yeah big old bow good god wrap it up already huh all right joe this one was sent in by uh i think it's i'm pretty sure it's lee williams who's the one guy with the one e remember him all right uh this is a joke from him. Mickey and Minnie are in divorce court.

Okay. The judge tells Mickey, I can't grant your divorce because you think she's crazy. Mickey replies, I didn't say she was crazy. I said she was fucking goofy. Gorsh. Bitch. Imagine Goofy having sex. He's like, oh, gorsh. That sure does feel good. Gorsh, bitch. Imagine Goofy having sex. He's like, oh, gorsh.

That sure does feel good. You've seen there's a video somewhere where it has Mickey Mouse and Goofy, and they're in a fight. Like it's a whole, like he does the voices from the other room. He's like, you bitch. It's so good. You bitch. I haven't seen that in forever.

What the hell was that my voice cracked while I was doing it alright guys stick around be part of the gaggle if not we'll see you guys next week

see you Woo!