Can You Don't? - Can You Don't? | Boner. WNBA. Face Shot. Keys in Door.

Episode Date: January 7, 2026

We all get a little annoyed when guests overstay their welcome for one reason or another. Now, imagine if you had someone over and they didn't leave for 45 years! Let's talk about that, why are WNBA games included in our WYR about breaking bones or watching people die, another glorious Pornhub year in review, learning that dudes also have a pelvic floor they should be strengthening, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://www.patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast ***New Episodes every Wednesday at 12pm PSTWatch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/KuP_poLXUfQSend in segment content: [e-mail]: http://canyoudontpodcast.comMerch Inquires: [e-mail]: http://facebook.com/canyoudontpodcastIG: http://instagram.com/canyoudontpodcastYouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wyt5rtOfficial Website: http://canyoudontpodcast.comCustom Music Beds by Zach CohenFan Mail:Can You Don't?PO Box 1062Coeur d'Alene, ID 83816Hugs and tugs.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Boner, WNBA, Face Shot, Keyes Indoor Oh, hey fellas! Whoa! Your mustache is inside your nose. like inside. Wow. I at least house with it. Do you clean your mustache?

I mean, I wash my face in the shower. Wow. Do you wash your ass? How often do you like clean up the facial hair? Like put some soap in it, some shampoo. There's no order to anything. But how often do you do it? Is that a thing that's supposed to happen?

Well, yeah, because it's, I mean, it's hair. So you got to wash your shit. You got to wash it. I'm pretty old to learn that for the first time. I know, I don't know. I mean, I, I wash my armpits and my crotch and taint and balls, and the soap washes everything else. Forgot about your mustache? So, I mean, the soapy or shampoo, whatever, it'll get, it'll get a hit.

It's like, has any man ever washed below their knees? Yeah. I try to get down there. Like every now and again, like rough. Maybe. Once a year. Yeah. Maybe.

Send in all your content suggestions, including stuff for petty beef. Hey guys at can you don't podcast.com of course The honkathon is on So everyone that's supporting us And part of the gaggle over there Patreon.com slash can you don't podcast Thank you so much Working our way through

And It is surprising how many people Don't know what Zach looks like I like it Right Like we just talk about this giant man And they're like I don't know

Like they trust us they believe in us so at 450 that many Patreon subscribers Zach's gonna get his own camera and just settle it forever

maybe we'll have to put like a filter on it so you just it never see his face actually he's like a it's like a Snapchat filter interviews like the dark shadow and the deep voice yeah

done I didn't know what's going on he came to my own uh 475 yeah the hot air balloon ride you're gonna do it right

no okay uh 500 the extra patreon episode every single month so head on over there please consider supporting us on patreon i guess pretty much for the open i think we're just gonna dive right into this motherfucker just nose dive right into it yeah just get going because get stuff done zh zh hey shut up start the show already do you want to read this one oh oh i was just mired in that guitar riff. Just a tasty, just a tasty, tasty riff. Do you want to do it?

Sure, I can do it. Okay. I have the, my text zoomed in so I can read it. Okay. What is it? All right, this is kind of a, this is one of the more wilder ones I would say that we've, we've ever had.

Really? In the history of the show? Just because of, it's not one of the normal things you'd, you'd be, uh, you'd expect? You'd expect, yeah. You ready? for it? Yeah, I'm ready. Okay. Six, 12, 18, 24 are the options, and you have to pick one of each. Okay. Follow me on this. So we got numbers? Yeah, so six, 12, 18, and so a divi, what?

Multiplication? What's the word for it? Not divisions of six, but it was like a word for it. It's like multiples of six, maybe, whatever. How many? Okay. Okay. One in, one, one. Okay, number one. Yeah, number one, inches of height you're losing. So, either six inches, 12 inches, 18 inches, two feet. Got it. Each question applies with one of those numbers. Okay, I see, I see. So number one, inches of height you're losing.

Number two, bones are you breaking? Okay. Number three, random people you're watching die. Okay, all right? And number four, WNBA games are you watching? You bastard. which that seems like the worst out of all of them just the season ticket holder

for the what are the names the how about the galaxy okay I mean Seattle Storm have been traditionally pretty good they've been doing something probably do they even play 24 games a year I don't even know that's probably how many home games they would have in a year probably 612 1824

have you guys ever broken a bone yeah motorcycle accident yeah did you break any bones at the when you got in the okay yeah I thought just maybe muscles were involved you know the the leg bone it's got the one thick one and the smaller one

is the tibb the tibb yeah the tibb the smaller one snapped oh okay at least it wasn't the big one was it weight bearing I had a cast for a few months that sucked that's cool

Um, I mean, I don't have a whole lot of height that I could sacrifice, right? Like, I can't go down 24 inches. Yeah. I mean, what are you? Five, nine? Yeah. Just be three nine? Hmm.

I mean, that's, that's wild, dude. Dude, you and, uh, Peter Dinklage. I mean, how tall is he? Probably around there. Let's take a peek. How tall is Peter Dinklage? how tall is Peter oh

Davidson Dingledge How do you spell D-I-K D-I-N-K L-A-G-E Dinklage I don't even know what you just said

He's four or five Oh so he's got you by six inches Pete's got you by half a foot That's eight inches That's rough I'm four five's pretty tall For for little

for little people. For someone who's 3.9. Yeah. For somebody. 3.9. So how, I mean. God dang,

man. So I know for sure I can't do the 24 inches of height. So I got to. But you can't break 24 bones. No. That sucks. I mean, yeah,

you basically be, what's his name? The motorcycle guy. Oh, evil Caneval. Hitting that ramp and just I mean, body crumbling. All at once. Yeah, your body's crumbling.

Random people You have to watch them die. Also kind of fine with that. I feel like if you're, if it's more than one, it's the same amount. If there's more than one I'm going to come. It's my daddy's always saying. Yeah. If it's more than one, I'm going to come.

I think I'd rather watch more. Okay. I just had a thought. I think I'd rather watch 24 people die than one die. you know what I mean like psychologically it's like watching one person just die it's it's just this one guy down but at 24

it's like at least they're dying together yeah it's kind of it's like it's so much that you could almost feel like you have a better chance of blocking it out like and at least they're not dying alone like they're dying with other people you know what I mean like just watching

like a cult it just all drink poison they're all dying together just watching one person like they just look at at you when you're like. Yeah, exactly. Imagine looking around at 24 different people as they're all reaching out to you as they're dying. You say help and you're like, can't, can't, can't. Can't I'm wait for a WMBA game. No time to help. The galaxy are on in five. I feel like, okay, I'm going to go 24 with the people dying because I think the most amount of people dying would be the easiest to do with as weird as that sounds. Yeah, I guess fair. Um, I feel, um, I'm going to

I feel like I don't want to get too much shorter, so I might go with the six. I mean, you have to, right? Yeah. You know, I'll take the six inches. I'm there. I'm there for you with that. 20. I'm going to break.

24 and watch 18 games. That's a lot of W&B games. I don't have time for that. Here's the thing, though, I do like, I enjoy sports so much, even though, just so we're clear on this. too. It's not that I don't think women should play basketball. Okay. It's specifically women's basketball, I find very boring. Women's sports in general, I don't find women's sports in general boring. I love watching softball, volleyball. Uh, all the, like, women are very competitive, but there's something about basketball because it's such a steep drop off from the

men. That's why it's hard for me. It's not that I don't want to watch women play sports. Just so we're clear. Yeah. It's, um, like, they were Duncan, though. If they lowered the room a little bit, would you be alright with? It's still so slow. I don't even think that would help Because it's just Why didn't you dunk it? Like a fast, even just a fast break Getting down the court, it's so slow.

There's just, it's, it's like a medium. It's like a medium break. It's slow enough that you would add six extra people to the death total. Right. Instead of watching the full amount of games. That's how slow it is for you. It's not a fast break. It's just a break.

We're running the break drill. I'd rather watch people die than go to any more WNBA games And here's the thing I've been to a couple Um college women's college basketball games When I when I worked in TV I had a pass So when the tournament would come through

And I get to sit down in kind of the media area And so watching I would rather go to a WNBA game And in stands and like hang out And still it's a live sport and all that But sitting at home on your couch watching WNBA like can we do can we go to it live because i would rather do that yeah i think you have to which also that's a that's a factor too because you know travel yeah yeah now we have the

seattle storm here it's not too bad and you're gonna buy you know you have to get something like some nachos or a pretzel i'll get some nachos okay so now now it's a it's a money thing it's a financial investment breaking bones also a problem right you have to pay for that um Watching people die, that's free. I mean, you could break some toe bones. You break all 10 your toes. But I feel like you don't get to pick. And that sucks.

Yeah. So if you break 12 bones, maybe you do get to pick. Then that's easy. Just break all your fingers or your toesies and what your ear bone. No, that's cartilage, dog. There's something in there. There's got to be something down here.

Right? Like your nose. There's a little bone in there. There's one of them. There's an earbone. Earbone attached to you. My earbone. The only ones I'm really kind of struggling with is like, would I drop a whole foot?

So I'm like 5.10, 5.10 and a half. So I'd go to four. I'd still have Peter Dinglage. Under my thumb? Yeah. I don't feel like I don't want to quite get there because I'm trying to think like, do I want to break 12 bones or six bones? Hmm. Yeah.

I can't lose a foot. I'm not going down to 4-9, you know. Not a, get the fuck out of here. I'll go to, I'll go to live, 18 live, WNBA games. Yep. I'll watch 24 people die. Yeah. I'll lose six inches and I'll figure out a way to break 12 bones.

Boom. You get it, dude. Yeah! That's what I'm picking. Any other, any, Zach, do you have any, like, wild? I would go to 24 WNBA games, I think. Okay. Because I really like basketball.

Right. I would only want to break six bones. Yeah, you have more height to lose. Yeah. Well, think about it. Zach, so you are, you're six three? Six four, yeah. Six four.

Do you, can you imagine a life at five four? I don't, I have no frame of reference, really. Five, four? Dude, if you lost six inches, you'd be our height. Ooh. Yeah. That sucks. So I'm willing to give up a few more.

I only want to break six bones, I think. Really? Yeah. Oh man. I'd give up probably 18 inches. Why not? And 12 people die. Give up 18 inches. Why not? Just, Zach. I'd fit in every car I want to drive from now on, unlike today. Oh, yeah. You'd fit in. You wouldn't fit.

No, you're right. I'd need a booster. Yeah. You'd sit on some phone books. Set on some phone books while you drive around and watch everyone die. Feels kind of sad that I'd rather break six bones than have six people die. But, you know, that's the way it is. Yeah. I mean, if I had the choice, I'd watch everyone die. If I could add up, like, 612, 18, 24. Yeah.

And then just be tall and enjoy some basketball games? As terrible as it be to watch someone die. I just really think that if it's multiple people dying, it'd be easier. Yeah. So I'm pretty, I feel pretty good about the 24 people dying. Yeah, I like it. Even though that's 24 lives lost and families being affected. Yeah, but not my problem, you know.

Yeah, not my problem. It's going to an NBA game, that's my problem. you know what I mean logistics you know that's something I really got to deal with I have to live with that I gotta wear the shirt drive to the game

you gotta wear my mercury shirt all right well let's move off to what are you thinking about Ellie Sparks jersey all right let's do it Zach Hey Hey what's up babe

What are you thinking about You know nothing Actually you know what I'm thinking about a lot of shit what are you thinking about what are you Joe thinking about it's that time of the year

is it the best time of the year what time of the year do you think it might be porn hub year time fuck yeah dude let's go dude it's the it's the the year in review okay year in review

gosh and like clockwork with these motherfuckers it is and what's a little bit crazy is I would say things have changed some okay but the big change is the tracking Like half the states are hiding

What they're into Yeah, they just opt out We came across that last year I think maybe the year A little more and more though Like just every state's like Don't So now we just have like a

I don't get why they get to do that though It seems shady Like it's you're hiding something Who makes the choice The governor or something Yeah not us Yeah someone's like no And they're like okay

Probably because the governor's looking at some weird shit and he doesn't want his records exposed either outside Epstein list but having that data omitted from you know porn hubs overall analysis of 2025 does skew things they're fucking up to science yeah you'll see like

a big jump it's like well this one's up 90% it's like well yeah because fucking Idaho can't look up potato slut russet horror um

There are, so there are a lot of details to get into, but just the quick, just the quick, uh, just to get us started here. Um, the number, the trends that defined 2025. Number one, diverse desires. Oh, wow. Okay. So this would be, uh, lesbian was the most year, uh, most viewed category, followed by, closely by transgender. Okay. Which grew 58%. Uh, what grew? You're bounder. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So got it. Lesbian scissoring had a 79% bigger slice of searches with lesbian milf growing 102% and lesbian strap on 62%. Fuck yeah, dude. I mean, I contributed to all those percentages, yeah. Trans threesome was up 67%. Yeah, it was, dude. Yeah!

Trans amateur was up by 49% queer. Yeah! queries had a hundred and thirty two percent boost and bisexual yeah was up by 88 percent fuck yeah dude so number but again like i i'm just having a hard time trusting these numbers yeah all all the states are out you know yeah but it's still i mean it let's disregard the uh how much they rose it's still the categories that are available are still where i think think that's where the comedy and the money is that's the hard facts um so we'll kind of speed to the top just we won't get into all the details that was just a a a little example so

number two is maturing milfs okay so like gilf cougar mature hot milk tit fuck stepdaddy couch born number three real life role play so that's like a plumber the chef professor pizza boy hospital Stop me if you heard this one Slider I don't know what is what's a siliter Fucking if you have to ask Can't afford it That threw me curve ball with that one

Number four Cheating and Affairs So caught cheating cheating Wife sneaky cheating Sneaky cheating Hot wife Swingers wife Swingers Wife Swap

Office Affair Searches were up 388% for CEO Damn That's why they're all Like, everyone's trying to move up in the corporate world. The corporate ladder. Yeah.

Number five, femboy fixation. Okay. So, uh, it joined the world's top ten searches and was first among porn hub gay visitors. All right. Top gaining terms included cute femboy, sexy femboy. Can you imagine the other one? Like, where was ugly femboy? Yeah, ugly femboy.

Down to. Drop two percent. Slow year. Sexy femboy and femboy hentai. Oh. And hentai always makes, it's always up there. And then number six is safe for work. All right.

Not not safe for work, but actually safe for work. What do they do? Like, just a hot overview of your spreadsheet. Spread sheet? You spread that sheet all over the place. Do you want to learn a new shortcut? I'd like to spread your sheet on it. Do you want me to gape my cell?

Did you know if you, if you hold control command T, it'll automatically fill in all yourself tell me more tell me more it's probably just clipy in a bikini which like

some help clippy with tits so most search terms yeah hentai yeah milf

okay panay do you know what that is P-I-N-A-Y I don't know but it's too close to Padini it made me hundred

third is something we don't know As an informal colloquial term for female native or inhabitant of the Philippines or women of Filipino descent. Oh, yeah. I feel like we looked that up last year. Probably. Obviously, didn't get into it. Oh, there's lesbian.

Lesbian anal, big-ass Latina anime Asian. Femboy stepmom Japanese cream pie. But look at, look at, so the opposite and downs, femboy went up 15 spots. Yeah, dude. um stepmom japanese cream pie threesome cosplay animation massage trans big tits blowjob gang bang p o v b bb japanese japanese anime gang bang indian joy cheating squirt 3d korean 3d korean 3d korean cream pie gangbangs oh god i love that is the term pinay also held its place.

It held strong. I think we did look it up. I have a tiny memory of that one year ago. And then the most search for porn stars. Yeah? Not even a chick. It's Alex Adams. Ooh.

Oh, three and a half million. That's three billion. Angela White. Yeah. Violet Myers. Bonnie Blue. She's the one that like the sex with a thousand dudes chick. Lana Rhodes.

She's a mainstay. Lily Phillips. Johnny Sins, Eva Elfie, Abella Danger, Lexi Luna, Jessica Sodi, Riley Reed, Rayl Lil Black. Excuse me? The fuck you could say? Mia Malkova. Oh, dude. Have you ever watched me?

Yeah, anyway. Natasha Nice. A leader angel. I like the new. Where? Is it a new. Oh, yeah. As he ups and down.

Martina Smaraldi. She's just joining the list. Welcome. Brandy love. Maximo Garfield. Corcoe Lovecock Lovelock Oh, sorry

Oh, love a luck Salome Gill Jordy El Niño Poya Is that jackknife down there Lena Paul Savannah Bond Mariana Mardix Skybreed Jack Knife

He just joined the cause too Just got here And Corey Chase And then Lily Phillips She's the other one Like Bonnie that they do The big bangs Big gangs

The big gangs Yeah They're like the influencer versions of a porn star. Yeah, right. They recharge from other people, you know? Extrovert. So you want to go to the United States and see what the... Okay.

All right. United States. Oh, I see it. The most search four terms. See, look, everyone's out of here. Everyone opted out. That sucks. So we'll go real quick through just the search terms.

Okay. Latina, Elf, Asian, hentai, lesbian, ebony, cream pie, big ass, threesome, stepmom, anal, BBC, P.O.D. Joy. Anime, big tits, massage, animation, BBW. Yeah. Cheating, trans, blowjob, black, mature, gangbang, furry, Indian. Mature, furry gangbeng. Is it an old dog?

Yeah, just a dog wargy. What happened to the furries? They went down a lot. Yeah, they did nine spots And then Indian went up 12 spots Sick Latina ASMR and pegging rose 14 spots And that's actually Washington's number one

Oh Pegging is the most So now we're looking at state by state now huh? Yeah Okay So I mean like we said before Half the states now So pegging is Washington

Missouri Guess what Oregon's is What I guess you don't have to guess You can look at it Horny grandma Just in the movie California Latina amateur You don't want a pro

Hmm If they don't want a pro No they want an amateur Give me someone who has no idea what's going on Nevada Las Vegas You can't just search for that You got your dick out

Just searching for towns Mm-hmm Give me some big titted Las Vegas chicks Las Vegas Big women Yep, I get it Hawaii, just American

They want Howley's Colorado's Native American I mean, I'm just I'm fixated on Missouri We're working her way over there New Mexico's real wife They just want a wholesome Just real wife

Minnesota Yeah anal beads Fuck yeah Iowa is Amish Okay, I get it You know Missouri

boner what that's a weird search for me because it's like well yeah if you're searching for porn you get you don't have I mean you have a keyboard you're you're searching boner you're populated every video that exists it's there it's like what do you want I want to get out with a hard dick

but they just like they take the literal interpretation like what do you need boner Yeah. How do I get a boner? Boner? God, you idiot. Wisconsin? Yeah. Sloppy. Illinois, hairy armpits.

What? Michigan, this is, I don't know with this one, Pog. Pog. I'm never playing with Pogs. What does this stand for? Different kind of Pog. Is it a... Does it have alphan?

Accronym. It is. It is. Meaning. Oil or anal Squads Fat ass white girl Fuck it

Ohio Keefe All right West Virginia Redneck Yep Louisiana Thick

Pennsylvania Puffy nips Puffy nipples That's fine Those are fun That's fun Massachusetts likes their

Porn sweaty Okay Rhode Island Like some cot They like Caught What Vermont

Jockstrap What And you have to Not strap on These are top Yeah These are These are not

Accident Yeah This isn't one guy In a basement Curious These are Statewide trends Yeah

New Hampshire Slutty Milt Yep Fugue Maine is Granny sex Okay Just the opposite

side of the country You have Orney Grandma And Oregon and Maine And Neighbors

of Portland in each. There's a Portland, Maine, and in Portland, Oregon. So there's something about, that's weird. Connecticut is feet worship. Okay. District of Columbia, the old D-C., dildo-sucking. Boring. New Jersey's Jewish. Fine.

Delaware, nipple sucking. Okay. Right next to what, which, by the way, right next to puffy nipples. Yeah, they got nipple infatuation over there. And Maryland, bringing up the rear is Nigerian. All right. Wow. Look at these guys.

And then the top countries by traffic. Yeah. The U.S. takes its... Yeah, it's a U.S. site. It doesn't even move. Mexico is up a couple spots. Philippines, Brazil, Germany, France, Italy, the U.K., Spain, Canada. Japan, Poland, Poland, Colombia, Ukraine, Australia, Egypt, Peru, and Chile.

Yeah. Japan jerks off the longest. That's fun. And it's the time per visit, it averages anywhere from 8 to 11 minutes. minutes. So the average, actually the average is nine minutes, 33 seconds. It's down nine seconds, though. That's interesting because a seven second decrease in 2020, uh, female visitors up 15 seconds compared to male. So what I find the interesting here is that you get on there and within an average of nine and a half minutes, like you've searched, found the video and completed. You found your horny grandma

sat through two ads You went to Pornhub Typed in Boner And you came seven minutes later Yeah I would say I would be My average is higher than that Because I'm trying to find the right video

Yeah You like to fucking edge You tease yourself More of a discerning gentleman You little fucking slut More of a discerning gentleman Yeah I know what I likes

This is fine You don't know what? Least popular day, Thursday. Hmm. You're gearing up for the weekend, I guess. Most popular day. Friday. Sunday.

Really? Go to church. Get a boner. See all the ladies in church and type in hairy armpits. Or maybe it's the ladies watching the pastor. Oh, okay. All right. Midnight, or 11 p.m. is the peak time.

This is, so this is, uh, So from Pornhub's perspective, it would be a little frustrating. So when the world came together, they always have this every year, right? So Pornhub's highest traffic point of 2025 was at 11 p.m. on January 5th. Like out the gate, like just right at the start of 2025. Yeah. Just dicks, pusses, rubbing. They all went to the gym and got all boned up at the gym.

yeah went home typed in puffy nips or they they knew they knew insurrection day was was the next day and they were gonna insurrection or would you say erection erection day yeah let's call it yeah so january 6 is insurrection day january 5th is erection day perfect uh but but from there there there's just this huge spike they're like oh my god this is our year and it just goes hmm yeah i mean that's every all the gyms and porn hub there they have a same time frame yeah i love how russia is just this giant transgender just yeah it's all it is like giant country just full of people searching for trans that's fine so like i mean lesbian that's us that's america top term i'm not zill brazilian okay and then uh chili's like

How about backdoor? Mm-hmm. Just anal. Look at us. I mean, look at, so look at the, uh, the, actually, like the Arab states and India. So they, they like their own kind. So if you look at that, it's like they're searching Arab. They're searching for because their women are covered up.

Oh. So they're trying to see what they're, what their women like look underneath that body skirt. What, uh, the burqa? Is it a burqa? Yeah. Yeah. And a head shop. Uh, uh.

So they want to know what's underneath there. They're covering up their own women, but they want to know what's underneath, too. Yeah. And then southern Africa, they're searching for Ebony. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, you just look at a national geographic. You know what I mean?

Yeah. And then what is that? What's this country here just says Japanese? What country is that? Mongolia. Is it? Yeah. So the.

Things have a buffer. like China is taken away their access to exactly what they want And yeah So you have Japan That's

This yeah So Mongolia and Japan Like the Japanese Ladies Yeah Yeah Um Most viewed categories by gender

Men Japanese Women Lesbian And their second is Japanese What the fuck what's the

you know the fascination with that it's got to be maybe the uh what are the the gaseas maybe they're into gaseous sure the really feminine so if you have like a a very masculine lesbian woman who wants a

gaysia yeah and milf is common across all of it anal yeah that's tied for fourth have you ever searched milf yeah yeah any more questions No, I'm just curious

Have you? I don't think so Okay There was a guy named Milf Hunter back in the day So I must have Milf Hunter Whoa

Marketing Transgender God that's way up there Brazilian Reality Hardcore Up 9 On the women's side

Well it's You have 50 shades of gay and stuff You have 50 shades It choke me All right Okay So then it's great Because they have like the whole gay

Side of it too So you have like porn hub gay So search for gay terms For all the folks that are wondering Femboy Twink Anime Pinoi

Where's big dick Is Pinoi different than Penae? You're about to find out Furry Straight guys first time Pentai Asian animation Black

where's big dick I mean that's black massage Oh there it is There it is Big Dix up three Plus three Japanese

BBC Big Dick Gang bang cute Femboy Public Public They like a public They like a public display

A public Big Dib Threesome muscle What's FTM Foot to Mouth That's a pretty good guess Muscle Footh to Mouth

First time first time masturbating it can't be it can't be foot to mouth could give me a can't look at these searches it absolutely can't

tell me we're at a porn site yeah where are you why are you drawing the line foot to mouth disease we have to know now all right cruising

hold on I gotta figure this out oh most feud gay categories twink big female to male bear back group Daddy.

Yeah, female to mail. Cartoon. Cumb shot. Tranny cum shot. Ftm. Game bang. Solo male amateur, interracial blowjob muscle bear. When you start putting all the words together.

It sounds so good. Oh, man. 38 years old. That's the average, the demographic for who's popping in there. 38. All right. Got plenty of 65 plus, though. and they're looking up

grandma gangbanks that's hairy armpit puffy nipple grandma horny thick boner horny thick unshaved boner puffy tit

proportion of female visitors Philippines proportion of female visitors worldwide proportion growth so Philippines Columbia

it's a beautiful time of the year where's you the u.s is way down oh look at uh by year from 2015 to 2025 yeah and 24% women now it's up to 38% that's we're getting close to 50% yeah just getting their clits out let's go double click that mouse you get yep there you go party feet pov virtual reality vertical video looking for fucking shut up

you're searching for vertical I can't come to landscape Fisting Bukaki blonde vintage This gang bang will be way better With vertical video Fuck you It has to look like Snapchat

Oh my God Boomers Fill the screen So So okay Gen Z, party, feet, millennial, fetish, roleplay, squirt, redhead, Gen X, fisting, Bukaki, blonde, vintage, and boomers, 55 plus,

Burnett, Babe. Burnett, Babe. Casting, mature, interracial, threesome massage, cock. I love Babe, though. Burnett. That's like, that's an old f-Aid. A lot of babes here.

Hot babes. Fuck you. Babes. Bodacious babes Giant titted babes Change in traffic share from 20 to 24 to 25 Desktop is up 39% Yeah, right

Tablet up 31% phone down 3.5%. Yeah! Okay Well, so everyone's coming. Oh, a lot of Android users. 67%. Whoa. Horny

Horny Android Horny and poor Chrome Chrome's the number one Yeah Oh PS5 to PS4 and Xbox

That shit's always cracked me up Who Who are you Dude Just taking a break Oh here we go Do you want to know The war zone

Yeah To grind out a bone And then just Blap and then right back to you I'm dropping back in boys Gonna drop a load just coming in like an empty checks mix bag

haven't left the couch wash it down with a fucking mountain code red fucking code red Baja blast. Baja blast he had door dashed Taco Bell just dipping your nut sack in a Baja blast

using the internet on your fucking Xbox which is already so annoying using like the mouse It's like It just flies around You just got your dick out

Your friends are waiting Just reach over and grab your phone You're on party chat I'll be right back guys Got to do something We could wrap this up But real quick I want to do just real quick

Games and movie Things like characters Okay Star Wars number one Spider-Man up nine spots Game of Thrones Harley Quinn Harry Potter Black Widow Wonder Woman

Elasta Girl Catwoman How like I'm flexible Plower Rangers Plower Rangers I just made the That was a little Easter egg in there for you

Plower Rangers Avatar 365 days Batman Princess Leia Incredibles down 8 It's just because they're all searching for Elastigirl Down eight I didn't want the whole family

Hulk, Deadpool, Star Wars Ray, Star Wars Padmay Hulk Jurassic World SpongeBob Squid Wade It's about Sandy It's SpongeBob up or down Up 4

Wolverine is down 15 And then video games Genshin Impact Never heard of Fortnite What? Minecraft, Overwatch, Pokemon, Marvel's. Marvel's, Marvel Rivals is new. Just join the list.

The Sims 4, GTA 5, Resident Evil, Cyberpunk, Valor, and a lot of games. Super Mario's, I was 14? I was Tomb Raiders solo. Yeah. Red Dead Redemption is down two spots, and it brings up the rear. Oh, yeah, they haven't released anything in forever. Yeah, but it's still very. They haven't, you know, they haven't expanded my package.

Oh, yeah. That Laura Croft has to be one of the highest characters from a video game. Yeah, she is. I just found, she's number two, and it's probably been like that since the 90s. Okay. All right. Thanks, Pornhub. Love it.

Got a lot of, oh, assumption of Mary, regional holidays, a lot of Easter stuff going on. A lot of people who pretend to be moral. Trying to suppress. Mm-hmm. And then they can't. Right. God, if you want to, if anybody wants to just look up Pornhub, you're in review, it go, it keep, we could spend the whole show doing this. I mean, it is really broken down.

So. So dive in. Have fun, guys. Uh, you ready for some dick? Yeah. Speaking of Pornhub or whatever. Zach! Is it dumb?

Is it interesting? Is it cool? Then it's Dick. All righty. Uh, do you want me to take this first one? Sure. Okay, I can do it. I don't know.

I've never been this mad or, but I've also not been this old. So, maybe at this point you just give up. Get out of my house. 84-year-old man shoots son in the face for not visiting mother and hospice care. Did you go visit your mom yet? Nope. All right. What the fuck, dude?

So an elderly man is accused of shooting a. his son in the face because he and his spouse did not visit the older man's wife over the weekend hey like it's a normal conversation you guys go to Costco this weekend yeah no we got those uh got those meatballs you like all right stop by home depot stop by home yeah so um after we cook these meatballs up for you we're going to read to your shelf um and get that all taken care of and the old man's like yeah does you visit my wife No, we didn't I was like, you sure about that?

Yeah, we were kind of busy. Yeah, we were busy, you know, feeding you and fixing your shelf. William Noak, 84, has been charged with attempted murder, which... It should have been murder. Oh, man. According to an arrest affidavit reviewed by law and crime, the underlying incident occurred on Tuesday evening. a Tuesday, man. A Tuesday, man.

Not a Saturday night when things are elevated. No. I mean, he, they had the whole weekend. He even had, he probably gave him Monday to go visit mom. Yeah. A three-day weekend. It sounds like a stepmom situation. Give a pass. Give you one more fucking day. Is this a step-mom? This must be a step-mom.

Gonna find out. I'll tell you what, though. It's Florida. Newark was at his home in Hawksbill Street, northwest in Palm Bay, Florida. We lived with his wife and their disabled daughter. His wife had recently been put on in-home hospice care, and William has been taken care of both of them. The court document states.

The defendant's son and his wife came over to the house to visit, something she said they did on a weekly basis. After they arrived around 6 p.m., William began to express he was upset. They did not visit over the weekend. Y'all should have come by. We're right here. We're always going to be right here. According to authorities, an argument between the father and son ensued.

Get out of my house. I'm going to shoot you. Right, dad. Right. Ha, ha, ha. That's funny. We'll make sure we see her next time. Pass me the salt.

I'll cut your head off. Okay. No, grandpa. You said that during the Seahawks game last week. Whatever. He doesn't mean it, don't worry. Sure. Yep, according to the affidavit, and immediately, as he

made the threat he has said to have walked into the bedroom and grabbed a gun you don't think i'm serious you don't think i can walk you don't think i have a gun you don't think there's bullets of my gun see her she's disabled i'll be right she's almost gonna die me you know your face is about be blown up the son's wife followed him urging him to put the gun down he's 84 stop him push him down just do sweep sweep the leg hey don't hey don't Don't. Don't. Don't. Oh, my God. Put it down. Oh, come on. You could have done anything.

Anything. Push him. That's it. Lock the door. Stand in front of him. There's nothing. Just stop this from happening. Beat him to the gun. Yeah. Oh, my God. Is that a gun? And he's like, you know, and he just, you just go, hold on.

Just take it away. Take it away. He's like, he's trying to cock it. like, can't pull it back. Can you cock this for me? She's like, sure, but you shouldn't do this. Hands it back to him. So then Newak reportedly would not listen. He then walked past her back into the kitchen.

Slowly. Past her. Walked or shuffled. Just picture the. Excuse me. Get out of my way, bitch. Don't do this. It's not my point.

I'm gonna kill him. Not my place. Win! The defendant, holding his gun, pointed at his son and fired, striking him in the face. So it was already cocked. Gosh, dang, man. The victim's wife called 911, and Noak walked back to the bedroom in return without a firearm. Imagine him shooting it and turn around, and then he's like,

He's trying to hide it. Oh, fucked it. shouldn't have done that he's on his golf cart in the getaway vehicle he reportedly said something such as what just happened and began crying and screaming the son

no the guy that just shot him in the face oh just whoops I I didn't catch this emotion the first time I read this article fuck this wife yeah

just right stop do any anything. Oh my god, you got a gun. Maybe she wanted it to happen. Okay, so there's that. I've been thinking of that. Anyway, so no whack. He's in trouble. Um, I'm guessing he's going to, he had to be sedated because of his injury, cannot give up statement. That's a funny. Okay, I remember reading this the first time. So first responders helped secure medical care for the son, who has transported to an area hospital with staff reporting that his injury does not have an exit wound in the bullet

fragmented into multiple pieces which are still lodged in the victim's face and John. Oh, I missed that too. And then, the next line is he had to be sedated because of the injury and could not give a statement. Sir, I'm with WGBT.

WISK, the hitmaker. First on the scene with WGBT, anything you say. And he's just like, his face is inside out. Oh, you guys sedated them? Just turn off your recording device. He's really hoping to get that statement.

Always something. It's always better to get the statement immediately after. Yeah. Anyway, I hope that I would never be so out of my mind to shoot Ezra on the face. If we're not visiting. Well, then he, but then he cried and said, what happened? It's almost like he pled insanity. but that's what I'm saying

I hope I don't lose my mind I hope I just don't feel like that would ever be something I would do Yeah you have to As did you visit mom? No Alright Be right back PRB

Where you going? I'm gonna get the gun and kill you I'm gonna get the gun I said I was gonna shoot in the face And I'm a man of my word I'm a man of my word And I'm gonna shoot you in the face And then Cassie's like no don't I think it's like Just scuff.

Okay. All right. Let's move out for the next story. Got this one, Bride Guy? I got it. Okay. This is kind of a weird one. Okay.

I guess, I mean, I don't know. I don't even. I was, huh? Huh? I guess I was going to try to defend the guy for a second. I don't know why, but I don't know if I really can. Harvard Morg Manager, who sold body parts like Bibles.

What are Bibles? I looked it up. It's kind of like little trinkets or ornaments and stuff. They say trinkets. Yeah. Because I first thought was... Mov. What's your name?

Molf. Gets eight-year prison term. All right. You want to know what this guy did? Yep. So he was a manager of the medical school morgue in Boston. Okay. Which seems like a morbid job, but it seems like a respectable job, right?

I mean, you're at Harvard. Yeah. Unless it's not. Maybe it's not. Um, was sentenced to eight years in prison for stealing and selling body parts as if they were bobbled. Authority said Cedric Lodge was at the center of a ghoulish scheme in which he shipped

brains, skin, hands, and faces to buyers in Pennsylvania. And elsewhere after a cadaver's donated to Harvard were no longer needed for research. Fucking faces. So, I mean,

yeah, but also being pretty resourceful. mm-hmm and what else are they going to do with them i get why you wanted to defend him right he could sell some lobsters if you stole him he'd figure it out he saw an opportunity what are we going to do just throw the bodies away it's kind you know when you go to like a a store and they're like can you just give me the leftovers and like or give them the homeless they're like well we can't because legally like if someone gets sick or whatever there's like all these legality things like just give your leftovers to someone can't might get sued

yeah uh same same situation like once they're not used for research what do you do with them they were donated yeah just i mean clearly sell the skin hands and faces just get a face i need a face um i'm in a real pinch do you happen to have an old man face and two lobsters 73 to 86 range somewhere in there yeah i need a face and two lobsters I know a guy I know a guy Oh you work for Sizzler They're closing a bunch stores

We know His wife Denise Lodge Was sentenced to just over a year in prison For assisting him Here honey Hold this face Hold this face I can't I have two lobsters

I only have two hands I have two lobsters Well I can They take the rubber band off the other lobster Have the lobster hold Just hold each other in one example he provided a skin to a buyer

so it could be tanned into a leather and bound into a book a deeply horrifying reality not really calm down assistant US attorney Allison Martin yeah a horrifying reality have you seen anything else

this is fine the horrifying reality I think would be if this guy was killing people skinning them and then skinning them and then selling books and then selling their skin but they were already dead and he just found and not being used an avenue for profit and books i mean i guess you could say like if let's say you were a family member of someone that donated but how would you know that your daughter's face was being sold to some dude was making books oh my god um and another cedric and denise lodged sold a man's face

Perhaps to be kept on a shelf, perhaps to be used for something even more disturbing, Martin said. I love how she's just assuming things. You can't just say stuff. You're just assuming the worst. Horrifying nightmare. It sold a face. It's on a shelf or a book. It was probably a trophy?

But was it? I don't know. Could have been. Could have been something more disturbing also. Could have been anything, Miss Martin. It could have. She said, Lodge of

Goughstown, New Hampshire treated the parts of beloved human beings as if they were bibles to be sold for profit and collected thousands of dollars

from 2018 to March You're providing a service thousands Yeah, dude This guy was breaking in Is that worth the risk? 2018 to 2020 two years

thousands Maybe a salary sucks dude Just sixth thousand dollars um after harvard finishes

using the donated body research the body typically is return to the family or cremated lodge acknowledged removing body parts before cremation

lodge who was a morgue manager for 28 years yeah he's he's seen enough he was like I got you know what after 20 after 26 years of being here

I got to I gotta make some I gotta make some books I got a dude you got tired and throwing away faces. He's like, oh, my God, we've got to make some books. That was a perfectly good

face. I can't write, but I can provide a book cover. That's right. He acknowledges the seriousness of the conduct and the harm his actions have inflicted on both the deceased persons whose bodies he callously degraded and their grieving families.

Casey said in court filing. Harvey suspended donation of bodies for five months in 2023 when charges were filed. Don't send us any more bodies. We're all set. uh six other people including an employee of an arkansas crematorium have pleaded guilty investigation body part trafficking so like it wasn't just him yeah like this was a whole underbelly of the whole party um what does this say the story huh big body yeah big corpse yeah big face we got some comments down

there oh wow what are you looking at you see something cool Brian So what if it was your mom They used to make her skin Or use her skin to make a book cover I love how They say shit like that Like all that says to me is that you don't have the brain

To accept what happens after death When people do that It's like how could you Because they're dead Yeah That's how I could you It's uh It's funny because they like

This guy Trump and Putin BFFs just another reason why I don't understand putting Ivy League schools on a pedestal the comments I think you're lost sir oh my god and I love how someone

there's like now there's like an argument going on in the comments of this oh my god it's so funny yeah anyway I guess a little bit of ingenuity entrepreneurship but I admire the spirit

maybe it's not the approach yeah you know that's fine that's crazy though they think of like tanning it and making it into real leather to some dude that was alive for like the Hobbit or something.

Yeah, but he didn't kill him. They're already dead. That's where I think there's a huge separation in that aspect. A lot of people's religious beliefs are pretty much embodied. And fuck all those people. Okay. So thanks for timing. I mean he he shouldn't have done it

he shouldn't He shouldn't have done it But it doesn't It's weird because it doesn't How do you I mean I feel like we already said It's like

It's not like he was killing people He didn't do it He wasn't harvesting The harvest was brought to him The bales of hay were already provided And he just He just sewed it together maybe That's it

He just kept a few Straws of hay He capitalized on a... For himself. He made the best of a weird situation. He didn't go, he didn't go take a swather into somebody else's field and cut all the hay. They brought the hay to him. He kept a couple of straws for himself.

Yeah, and turn a couple tits into book covers. Mm-hmm. Big whoop. Nipple back. Is this a hard one? Is that a real nipple? It's a nipple back. Why's my book wobbling?

It's a nipple back. Dude, you forgot to sand down the nipple. Oh, my God. Oh, it's right where the purse clips. Right into the aerial. Nipple latch. All right, let's get off for some petty beef. Okay.

Zach! Silence in the court! You are now entering the Petty Beef courtroom, where all sides of some bullshit will be heard and evaluated. The people are real. The cases are real. The rulings are final-ish. This is...

Petty Beef. I'll take it. Sure. So this set in from Ace of Spades. The Ace of Spades? The Ace of Spades! You want to win. Blan-N-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-T-A-L-S-M-A-L-Same you say to me!

Well, you're saying to me! Whits on you lose-sum, you play the game! Lemmy And that was Fine And everyone was like Fuck yeah We're just gonna go with that

Oh Say you Yeah He's had a Beer dee Meo Meem Meen

He's had a cool Hat and some tattoos And everyone's like Fuck yeah Dude Let's go Let's go Oh, you say,

me, me, me, me, lae fuck yeah. All right. He's one of the

pioneers of metal, buddy. Is he? Yeah. I like motorhead. All right. Hey, guys.

So this involves me, my brother, slash roommate, and my wife. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Basically,

the beef is that my fucking brother fucking brother. Fuck you there. If you had to read everything, like Lemmy! Keep leaving his key in the front of the door after getting home. My brother, you do that? So he's saying to me.

And it's still in the door of the night. All right, so this beep is that my fucking brother keeps leaving his key in the front door after getting home. And it'll stay in the door overnight. Okay It's happened a total of four times now At least that we've It's happened four times Four times

To me And rest of peace And this has been Over the course of about six months now Any times a number It's happened six months and gouged We live in Riverside, California Yeah. Both of our cars have been broken into.

It's not exactly the kind of area you want anyone being able to walk into your house. And I don't know what to do now. Obviously, I've spoken to them. I'll get an apology. Sorry. Yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, my God.

That's, I'm looking for those. Foof. God, I'm always looking for those. The continuous sorry over and over. Yeah. I'll get an apology, but it's clearly not helping. 10 out of 6 was the last time, oh, October. six was the last time it happened.

It's a 10 out of six times. The math equation doesn't work. Jesus means. 10.6. Please help Joe, Brian, and the scat warlock, Zach. Not sorry for the length. You'll get used to it? Oh, yeah.

I think we might need a lemmy sounder. I can relate to this one. My wife does that What? She'll just Yeah Forget the keys So like we'll get home

Sometimes you're like Bringing in Bringing stuff in from the car Whatever Yeah Unlock the door We all walk in And then

You know The next morning Like open up the door To leave And the keys are still Like turn in the front door And it's happened Multiple times

And she actually used to get her car Uh They wouldn't break in Because it was unlocked okay so people just walk by the walk down the street and just go check door handles and she would have her stuff rifled through it would happen multiple times and she but she'd always forget to lock her car door and i and then when i would say you make sure you lock her i did like i'm the asshole even though she knows she keeps on luck and she's always like well you know i was really

busy trying to get the kids out of car and i'm like yeah but a lot of times you're you're by yourself a lot of times you're an idiot mm-hmm but but it's so then i always feel like i'm like did you make sure you took the keys out of the door or uh you you locked the car right i don't mean to pry yeah and like even though i do because oh my god it's happened so many times it's only happened 14 times but it's like i don't need you to tell me what to do obviously you do it sounds like what you mean to say is help me yeah it's a cry for help yeah Yeah, instead of being so defensive.

But she's always been like that. When we first started dating, I remember I got off work one night, really late, came home. I was staying at her apartment at the time, and I'd come up and the doors cracked open, and there was music playing, a TV was on, the oven was on, and a frozen pizza sitting on the counter, and she was asleep because she was out of their friends came home and was going to make a pizza, left the front door open and the oven on. And so it's been It's all there's stuff that I always been like that And I'm always the guy that like when we leave the house I do a lap around the whole house to make sure everything's off And then I get

Then I get in trouble for taking too long to shut them But I'm like I have to do that Because things will be left on And if I don't do that The house is gonna burn down Someone's gonna walk in the front door But I'm taking too long to get To get out the door I'm like

I have to do these things I it's not because I just like there's a reason that I'm checking all these things yeah you gotta say 15 cents shutting out those lights baby yeah yeah I'm with you well we have

I do the same thing but we have a really old house too and some of the like wiring and stuff like no it's like I don't I'm afraid of fires and stuff like that yeah we have old Navintu wiring and stuff Nobentube is that one of the porn hub searches

Mm-hmm Old horny Nobentube. It's also, you old knob and tubber. Milf gape knob and tube. Number one in Virginia. Full-length knobbing tube. A big black knobbing tube.

POV. Unregulated. Granny knobbing tube. Uninspected. Gaped. How is gape not in there? Fragile knobbing tube? Yeah, that's more along.

Yeah. On the brink. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. So I can very much relate to this. Old A's his face. Yeah, it's like, but then it doesn't, it doesn't. Like, what are you going to do?

He's not, it's just how he is. That's the hardest thing. He's like, he's not meaning to. It's not when he got home and he was like, I'm going to leave him right here. Yeah. What I'm going to do is put our whole family at risk. Yeah, he's not trying. So he's just fucking up.

His brain sucks. And sometimes he opens it and then never goes back. Some it's, you know, everyone has, uh, blind spots and everyone has things that they do that they don't realize they're doing. Like there are things that drive me nuts. Like the leaving the lights on things is one of those things that I like, I'll be in a room. Amber or kids walk in there, turn on late and leave and leave the light on. I'm like, all you had to do was just go click. Bing.

It was off when you walk, you turn it on. Just turn off when you leave. It's one of those things that doesn't, it's not that. big a deal, but it just, like, for whatever reason, bothers me. But I know I do stupid shit that I'm not noticing that I'm doing. So, while that's annoying, it's not a big deal. But leaving keys in the front door, if you're in a sketchy neighborhood, leaving doors unlocked, now you're talking about safety. So there's a, there are things that are like annoying and things that you could probably get over yourself.

But these are things like, do you want your people to walk away with your TV? or get into your house and murder your family. Yeah. Well, technology. So I could come over to your house and to Asa Spade's house and get you guys a little touchpad. I do want to get one of those. I mean, they're like 30 bucks. Oh, I know.

I've been to... Do you help? No, we have a really... So we have a really... Our house is from 30s. You started GoFund me for a fucking keypad? No, here's my, the reason I haven't done this yet is because our house is from the 30s. It's probably the original door.

It's really old. My fear is that I get a thing. I get one of those locks to go put it in and it doesn't fit or whatever. And now it's like, oh, shit, I took everything out. Because it's one of those doors, it's like, it's, there's a click handle, but there's also an upper latch. Yeah. There's a lot of working parts to it. Yeah.

So when we're done recording today, I want to walk you right upstairs to that exact thing that you just described. I got you. Take a picture. Go buy it. Your life's going to change. Oh, I know. You're safe forever.

And this also goes for Aces Spades. Well, also because I don't carry keys around and I barely have my wallet because everything's digital and I don't have a key. So if I just, and I always forget to bring the key with me. So I have a hide a rock. as a failsafe like the one the fake rock with the actual thing

on the bottom yeah that's awesome as a fail safe yeah that used to be a secret yeah like when you're buying that

off Amazon I got it at uh 8th hardware and there's like now we know the make and model 190,000 reviews saying how great this fake rock is this secret fake rock

it's like everyone knows no one's got in our house yet yeah that's fair but you do I do have to go if I forget my keys do have to go

get the rock undo all that stuff if I could just walk up and go beep bo beep and get in and then the kids too they just you know

if they get dropped off yeah or visitors friends anyone you're like I just I'll just give you the code yeah because right now when we go in vacation I have a couple

neighbors that have a key if they need to do anything or like bringing a pack so then they have to get a key you didn't come and unlock the door. Damn, that's some 90s shit. Yeah. And like I said, my main fear is that I just don't want to fuck the door up.

Yeah. Yeah. To have it turned into a whole thing. Mm-hmm. All right. Are you ready to move on? All right. Yes, we can't yet.

For the golden keys. Neil Daphne. Daniel Carrier. Jason Claser. The sofa king. Jordan Holiday. Maggie Stone. Oh, I just do it.

I just went, boom, and I got a sharp shot in my shoulder. What the fuck was it? Oh. It's like, it shot through my fucking shoulder. Ah, Matt Johnston. Real. Daniel Spatz. I went stow.

It just went, like my fucking shoulder muscle just split in half. I thought you were going to die. That was sharp. I'm glad you didn't die. Oh. All right, let's move on. So you're telling me there's a chance. Hooray, we aren't doomed.

Yeah! Getting old, dude. Gosh, man. Sitting here too long. It's gone on over there. This is fun. So diving back to Christmas a little bit. I know we're a couple weeks past by the time this one comes out.

But deal with it. The headline is amazing. And I just love that this all worked out. because this also could have been a nightmare. We invited a man into our home for Christmas, and he stayed with us for 45 years. Overstate a welcome much. 45 years.

Come on in. Make yourself at home. He's like, you bet you. I will. Christmas is often regarded as a time for goodwill. Not the thrift store, I don't think, but just like in general. But one young UK couple's act of kindness

50 years ago, changed their lives forever. On December 23rd, 1975, Rob Parsons and his wife, Diane, were prepping for Christmas at their candiff home when they heard a knock at the door. On their doorsteps stood a man with a bin bag containing his possessions in his right hand and a frozen chicken in his left. Lock the door. What are you going to do with that chicken? Like, I, if I see that through the peephole, I'm calling the cops.

Just a bin of shit and a frozen chicken? Get the fuck out of here. What are you doing here? And this is 45 years ago. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Because that chicken was really frozen.

1980? 75. Hmm? December 23rd, 9075. Oh, it was an old story. No. No, well, yeah. We're just catching up.

right or 45 years later rob studied the man's face and vaguely remembered him as ronny lockwood oh yeah good old ron ronny hogbone someone he would occasionally see a sunday school as a boy and who was told to be kind to as he was quote a bit different okay i said ronnie what's with the chicken which i think is the only thing you can say he's like what is there anything else like how you doing? How's the house your life? Not good because you're standing on my doorstep with a bin and a frozen chicken. So you skip that question. Let's just talk about the chicken. How'd we get here? I'm here to help. Watch with the chicken. He said, somebody gave it to me for Christmas. Not a turkey, right? Not a frozen turkey, a frozen chicken

or a ham and then i said two words that changed all of our lives and i'm not exactly sure why i said them i said come in age just 27 and 26 years old at the time the couple left compelled to take uh the couple uh couple felt compelled to take ronnie who was autistic under their wing chicken yeah uh they cooked his chicken number three in virginia the first thing i do is throw that fucking chicken I mean come in I mean if you're boiling it I mean take a shower here's a bed

give me the chicken and I throw the dumpster Who knows where that chicken's band God At that point How is it still frozen Must be cold He's wandering around with a frozen chicken

I don't know You got chicken What began as an act of compassion Turned into a unique companionship of love and compromise that lasted 45 years until the day that Ronnie died. Rob, now 77, Diane, now 76, had only been married for four years when they welcomed Ronnie into their home. Ronnie was then almost 30 and had been without a home from the age of 15, living and around Candiff and move from job to job. Rob would sometimes see him at the youth club

he ran. To make him feel as welcome as possible, they asked the family to bring him a gift for Christmas, anything from a pair of socks to some smellies? I don't know what the fuck that is. That's got to be like an English thing. A smelly is. Like a sweetie tree. Chis-thead.

You've got a smelly on a chew day, in it. Smelly in the tube. Little twat with your frozen chicken and your tingly winglies. Oh man. Just, I mean, just taking a chance. 45 years.

years like we don't even see do you think about that as you age that you like from what zero to 18 we are with our in our parents house and then now fuck them like the longer we're alive the more time you've spent without them like it's crazy right yeah oh yeah what's crazy is you're basically like a kid for 12 years 13 years and then you're grown up your whole like your pick you are yeah but like as a parent think about like your your parents and you like you've only known them as an adult you can't remember when you're a good and they just have to give up like their whole life to raise you and you're just like anyway bye i'm out anyway sucks here guess i'll see you can have the car keys and a frozen chicken i'm getting the fuck out of here

beat beat motherfucker see you that's wild Because you've been married to Amber, how long? Well, we've been together for 18 years, married 30. You've been with Amber longer than your fucking parents? I know. It's wild. Yeah. I've lived in Spokane longer than I lived in Moes's Lake now.

But Mois's Lake is the reason you are who you are today. Yeah. I said that when I was back for Christmas last time. We were all doing family stuff and... Blamming Moses Lake for your problems. Yeah. Moses Lake came up And everyone kind of shits on Moselike

But I was like You know what I'm glad I grew up here I am Now you don't mind the smell of butt Because you didn't have a choice or No because I mean I don't know Growing up in a small town

That you had to go out And find adventure And do stuff I it's weird Because you kids that grew up in the city They have the opposite Like they You know

I like to have And Boring yeah like where you just had to find stuff to do i can sit with myself i could just sit and be and be like i don't have to like have something in front of my face to uh keep myself entertained i can just sit and chill and it's funny because what's the population of moses lake because you say small town it's probably like 25 000 now or maybe more i know it when i was there was 14 i think how many mcdonalds are that is a giant oh yeah town

compared to central Idaho. Yeah. I think I, when I was born. But you were in a tourist town, weren't? Yeah. So you had a lot of people there were transians. Yeah.

To live in the fun part of town. Mm-hmm. But I think when I grew up, there was just under 2000. But you also lived in the mountains. 1800 people. And I lived in basically like a dried swamp. Desert. It was just brown.

Just the brown problem. Yeah. So we didn't have like the woods and stuff. run around in. What did that giant marble cathedral show up? That's just been the last few years. What the fuck is that thing?

It's a Mormon temple. Fuck yeah. So that's where, that was my playground. That's what I'm talking about. Like that whole field there, we wrote, that was,

that was my playground. God. Mormons ruin everything. They do. There's a giant Mormon. No, really. It's fucking ridiculous.

Yeah. Like, it's right off the freeway on the way to Seattle. At night, a whole thing lights up. It's so shiny. Yeah.

Like you have to like put your sunglasses back on. Yeah. You're like that's enough, Mormons. And it's weird because it's not like lights. It's just somehow it's, I know it's lights doing it, but what it looks like is you know how the moon doesn't illuminate, it doesn't light up. It's reflection from the sun. Uh-huh. The Mormon temple is kind of like that.

It's like, it's just, it glows. It's just, it's just nothing. And it's just this ball of illuminated marble. Mm-hmm. just build out of wood and at the other other end of the town are way out there like all these big

companies that build like chips like computer chips and stuff like that and it's actually like individual lights and it looks like a Las Vegas looks like a resort in the distance yeah but it's not those are lights illuminating this is just like a building that's glowing

fluorescent Mormons yeah my favorite kind all right let's move on you found something of the internet sure it is Zach

fuck the internet is pretty wild depending on your browsing habits you can either experience something super cool

or go to prison crazy right let's check it out together as a couple hey look what I found

yes I thought you know we live in a weird time Joe yeah it's a weird so like

back in the day before things like Kickstarter and stuff like if you had a business idea you had to just kind of you had to spend a bunch of your money like your life savings What you had to do was give up Well yeah or yeah

Well you spent your life's your entire life savings on something Go out of the bank and try to explain it to them And like an idea that everyone's like What? You want to do what? Hold on But something you're passionate about Hold on Tom I'm gonna stop you right there

I'm gonna stop you right there So you want a top eight friends thing and you want to be friends with everybody by default

in their top eight friends and they're just like a place where they big friends post stuff and he's like yep what does posting mean they're like I'm not giving you 10 billion dollars

by Tom he's like I don't get it seems like a good idea kind of sounds like so much fun that fucking picture sit next to the whiteboard what a dick everybody's first

friend is that not the most narcissistic move yeah you like if marcus Zuckerberg was like i'm your friend now we're just some shit pick so nerds we're friends now welcome to facebook okay yeah um so but you know you had to throw your life i mean you still do yeah but you throw your life savings something or like if you had really a good idea you have to go out and you have to find people to back your idea and so we live in a time with things like Kickstarter GoFundMe where you put an idea out there and then people either join it sometimes it falls flat sometimes it gets a weird

this is one of those second ones where it's just kind of like we'll see what happens yeah so they they basically the goal of this item was 5,887 okay they've raised which is an odd it is very specific Round up Mm-hmm They chose

And so far I mean There are 12 days to go in this thing And it's at $217,708 Huh It's a You want to know what the product is Yeah

It's a smart pelvic floor trainer For men Oh So like kegles or kegles But For Dicks And it's a little pad

Okay That you put in your chair You can Of course You can control with an app It's called My Hixel Fitbase

The next evolution and male performance Okay Non-invasive Not invasive Gameify training Progress tracking Haptic vibration guidance

AI guided training Just tell me how to have AI in there How are to come Okay It's So you sit on this thing Download the app And then flex your taint

With biofeedback sensors, AI personalization, and gamified training, it strengthens your body's forgotten core that helps you achieve firmer erections, master climax control, and unlock more confidence in bed. What? Climax control? Hold on. Anything that fucking jizz. There's no way you're stopping me from coming too fast. I don't know. I don't care how many games I'm playing.

on this fucking cushion slow me down motherfucker like only thing is slow me down is whiskey yeah that's the that's like the best one to be like i want this sex to last for a bit it really is the best one like sometimes you it's like you go and you're like i don't think this is going to happen you're like sweaty when you play that game of trying to balance uh the awkward conversation that you couldn't come and then coming too fast in that awkward conversation it's the golden zone

of being a hero yeah you don't know if it's three or four shots if it's not going to happen you're kind of gone and it's kind of like this moment we're like this is enough right

we're both just it's bad like we just want to go to sleep you're crying I'm tired it's funny because you the joke is always that the guy won't last long enough and it's like you want a guy

that can be a performer in bed and go all night and then you actually do want you you go all night do you know how long that is i know but like yo that's always the joke like i know that's so funny and girls like dude just fuck me all night you're like that's 12 hours yeah that's a long time i'm not sting are you are you up for that mm-hmm you ever fuck for 12 hours what is that what's that sucks what's the golden zone for a lady because it's funny because you think like 20 30 minutes too soon but then like I mean but when you have been drinking like you might be it might be 30 minutes but it feels like kind of over it by then right like that's yeah everyone's like I'll take it from here yeah you said enough mm-hmm but 30's fine I think

like a good fun 30 if everyone's in the right mindset um one person's not just looking me the other one's trying to sleep yeah then 30's a little rapy right right Right? Yeah. And sad. But if everyone's having fun and tossing around. Rapey and sad. And switching positions. And how rare, with kids and jobs and stuff like that, how rare is it that everyone lines up and it's this where you're both really in it? Those are the moments, man. And this fucking cushion is going to help me do that? Yeah, right. I mean, I'll do it. right now risk in losing uh having less firm erexious i'm flexing i'm not i'm flexing my taint right now yep me too i just rose up out of the chair i don't feel like so i can let i can last longer or i can be playing tetris like what's going on there's no way what's the science behind this

taint flexing come lastin you're doing kegles lastin yeah it's all about the kegles Yeah, really, that's what you're doing. Tegels. Except you don't have to just sit and do kegles. It's a fun game. Everything's a game now. I didn't even know that I had a... You got to have...

Well, here's an... Look at, here's the animation. Oh, wow. Show me. Okay. That's a penis. Fuck yes. Just sit and train.

See, this is the world... This is what is like... When I see stuff like this, it just feels like a joke to me as a society. because it's like just sit and train like we're really in a world where it's like sit and sit and lose weight

don't do anything and fuck like a champion yeah don't do don't do anything just take this pill here's the easiest way to fuck forever or like a pe just like a heated pad so you can sit and eat chips and lose weight while you're watching TV you know I mean I'm not gonna knock it I hope that they've done their research that's fun though really just seems like a sex toy

like you wait a jerk off at work is there a price for it I mean what are they trying to charge for this thing we'll find out after they make it I'm gonna go back this project and see how much it so pledge 10 pounds yeah

get it pledge 129 pounds yeah pledge 222 pounds 265 pounds yeah what for a pad with SpongeBob

face on it, like 300 pounds. With Pinocchio's nose on the... Yeah! The top tier. Oh, these are all gone. You get a My Hixel FitBase, an activation card, instructional booklet, three year...

Official member. Three-year warranty. USBC cable. My Hixel app and My Hixel 3 device. Like showing up to a club? Like, do you have reservations? Do you bring your My Hicksall? Reservations.

No one. Have my My Hixel. you bring your tape head? Club member, he takes it and cuts it in a half with scissors. Did they get the fuck out of here? Oh, God. All right, so that's out there.

I mean, it's, it's raised a lot of money. It has. So, good for them. Good luck. Can you imagine, like, if we were doing that right now, because we could be. We could be. Sitting on some, dude, we could.

And then after the show's over, just fuck each other for so long. You just put a butt plug in your ass. And with an app. And on that note, Zach, let's hear from the kids. All right, let's hear what you guys think. Really?

You want to talk to me? Wow, that's cool. I'll take the first one. Our first email coming in from Sean. He writes, in a couple episodes, oh, I'm a couple episodes behind. And I got to the, hey, what time is XYZ again? I already told you before. Bit.

Remember that? Mm-hmm. Just fucking told me. It triggered me because I had an ex who would do that. But I'm spiteful, vindictive piece of shit. Fuck you. So I waited until she had a super important appointment, one of those, don't be late, or you can go fuck yourself and reschedule again in a few months type

appointment. So I asked her a couple days before, hey, when was XYZ? And you would think with how important it was, she wouldn't have pulled the, I already told you last week. But she did. So I simply said, oh yeah, you did. It walked away. I got the info I needed.

Wow. Successful conversation. Glad we're on the same team. I'm glad we're not trying to fuck each other over. Wow. I'm sorry. I guess I'll go fuck myself. I'm going to step outside and go fuck myself.

Day of the appointment, she is ready to go. and I intentionally was sitting on the couch in shorts, no shirt, watching the most trash show I could find Trail Park boys. Marvel! Drinking a can of Coke, you should have snorted it.

Oh, yeah. So I was extra burpee. When she gets all mad. Just a real piece of work sit on the couch. Just, where are you going? When she gets all mad at me wondering why I'm not ready,

I told her, well, I asked you when it was and you said you told me, So I remember you saying it was like 9 p.m. This was happening like 11 a.m. So I said, well, shit, guess you got to take my shower, get dressed, brush, and then we can go. Of course, we were late to X, Y, Z. And they said, sorry, sucks to suck, nerd, be on time. And she can be rescheduled in a couple months.

Needless to say, a couple months later, I asked, when was X, Y, Z? And wouldn't you fucking know it? I got to, it's at 1 p.m. Please be ready. Learn her lesson. Yeah. You won that one, buddy. Just fucking tell me.

He won the transaction in that one. Hey, um, clocks and life, and we have all these things going on. What was that thing at? I don't remember everything you say. We already talked about it. Oh, okay. Good enough for me. Good enough for me.

Fuck! So I'll be late. Guess we're fucking late then, aren't we? How much effort is it to just, you know, say it? It still makes me all worked up. punch a fucking wool all right Brian you want to read the next one punch a hole in your little

dartboard there our second email this week is sending by us on Nate okay hey you guys asked for scoban for 2025 we'll check out aurora wave Aurora wave Super fucking sick

so there's anybody who wants to check that I can also you said two inch splinters are way too big well I worked on cell phone tower for almost 10 years years. And we would have some mountain sites that were just on telephone poles and we'd have to climb then with spikes on our boots and a belt wrapped around the pole. In the event that you'd fall, you're supposed to let go and lean back so your belt can get friction on the opposite side of the pole and stop. So one day, he didn't do any punctuation at all.

So one day, my buddy Matt, slips. And instead of leaning back, he grabbed around the pole with his arms and slid 20 feet down when he got off the hellish stripper pole he had about 40 giant splinters in his arms legs and torso they were mostly about four to five inch long

and had two or so inches actually in the skin there was several that were about as thick as straws what about his cock it was tucked good fuck uh anyways thanks for the last

anyway yeah anyway that sucked thanks for the last I want to invest in my taint trainer love you and hope Brian struggles with the no punctuation okay bye

sent from medically small penis oh my can you imagine just but that's like your instinct yeah and then you just you do it in the pain

but the other option is die it's it's weird because the yeah like they probably train you but your instincts aren't to let go and fall back that seems like the worst thing you could do

but the tech the equipment you're using is built for that thinking about a telephone pole you know oh yeah just weathered oh my god peely I mean that's like just the whole shingle

it's going through your arm oh thanks that grosses me out I hate it I want to hear a ska A ska band, apparently? Yeah. Okay, here we go. This isn't ska.

Give it a second, maybe. You have a misery signal shirt? Nice. Yeah. Oh, Reagan. Not Scott. That's interesting though A little mash up of styles

When I thought that it was the end When I thought you were Back around Just need to keep you feel When I thought you were Yeah It broke Yeah

Don't kill you out Wherever you are now One day you You've been What One day you back And I love it. Like, why is that in my deal?

One day you run away. You have to put... Never come back again. You have to put your tongue out as far as you can. Back, right. And now I'm broken. Broken. But it is good.

Just same note Just that same note Just One day you've Be ready for a change And every struggle that you face To pave the way Just that same note

Mm-hmm I know they were good. That's episode 1.86. We got to get out for the bonus shit. Sending stuff. Hey, guys, at can you know podcast.com. Of course, patreon.com slash can you don't podcast. Support us over there.

Rate and review us. Go check out what Zach's doing. Are you doing anything at all? No He's taking the year off Scatcast.com Scat with a K Thanks to the babysitters

The moderated the Can youdo Playground on Facebook You have a joke or something? Yeah Okay Zat! Good God Wrap it up already, huh?

You want to hear a joke about construction? Yeah It's not quite done Okay I'm still working on it So, maybe someday you'll get it. I'm still working on the joke I wrote.

No, I'm hitting the hammer in the news. The hammer of the news. The show's the same to me. All right, love you guys. We'll keep going. Bye. Oh, wow.