Can You Don't? - Can You Don't? | Car Hood. Locker. Dimes. Headstone.

Episode Date: May 10, 2023

Pre-ripped jeans isn't a new concept by any means, but how much would you be willing to spend on a pair if the rips were created by lions?! Let's talk about that, stealing roughly 5 tons worth of dimes from a semi-truck, some little ass-clown punching the hood of Joe's car inside out, crazy items that have been left behind in Ubers, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast ***New Episodes every Wednesday at 12pm PSTWatch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/zXI0mbZD2hcSend in segment content: [e-mail]: http://canyoudontpodcast.comMerch Inquires: [e-mail]: http://facebook.com/canyoudontpodcastIG: http://instagram.com/canyoudontpodcastYouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wyt5rtOfficial Website: http://canyoudontpodcast.comCustom Music Beds by Zach CohenFan Mail:Can You Don't?PO Box 1062Coeur d'Alene, ID 83816Hugs and Tugs.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Car hood, locker, dimes, headstone. If I may, open up the episode by, by, thank you, complimenting your t-shirt. Oh, thanks. Look at us. My white, oh yeah. Just t-shirts in general. Just t-shirts, yeah. Look at this shit.

This is the first since, when? Since we've just been rocking t-shirts. COVID? Yeah. Feels like it's been about since COVID ended. That seems about right. Yeah, about 2020-ish. Yeah, we've been rocking, I've been wearing a hood every day in here.

It's freezing. It's spiked up. It was 88 fucking degrees yesterday here in Coeur d'Alene, and tomorrow it's 55. My crotch is chafing from all the activity we've been doing in the heat, and then it's going to go back to cold again. Dry it up. Get a little ice dam in there. Anybody that's got any recommendations for fighting that?

Like, I know what, you know what it is. It's not fun. It's a baby powder. Oh yeah. I have that. But it turns into baby batter. Like you can make a cake with that shit and it's so gross when baby powder gets all wet with your balls.

Like, this is cool. Well, I see. I don't even, I don't even wear underwear anymore during the summer because it just gets so hot and swampy down there that, like,

and so then it just starts chafing. I get like red rashes and sores and then I go try to do anything active and it just burns. You need diaper rash cream. That's what you need. The monkey butt or whatever they called it.

Monkey butt? I don't know. I feel like I'm dying. I want one of those things that the soccer players use when they're running down, they run over the sideline, and it's like freezing. Then they get back out there. It's like a culking gun, but full of freezing powder.

Yeah, that's what I need. My dick's too warm. Like a little fuck. Like blow the whistle. Hey, dick's too warm. Dick's too warm. Let's get that dick cool down. We got dick warm.

We got a warm ass dick over here. 30 second time out for warm dicks. Just pict get that dick pulled down. We got dick worm timeout. Warm ass dick over here. 30 second timeout for warm dicks. Just picturing that in a football game. Those like super buff refs you get every now and again. He's like tweet. Timeout. Got warm dicks.

Warm dicks. We're going to take a TV timeout. You want a full or half? Full or half? Full. Full timeout? We're going to need a full. We need a full.

We got like five or six warm dicks. All 53 players have warm dicks. Let's get that dialed back before we move on. All right. Well, I'm happy to see you. See you. I'm back from San Francisco. That was a fun trip.

What was the weather like down there? Awesome. Yeah. Like lucked out. Everyone like, yeah. Like every drive, every car you get in, every Uber. They're like, poof. You got here at a good time.

A good time. Because in summer, it's nothing but fog. And I'm like, like okay yeah it's like uh you can't even see the bridge but did all the all the fun things uh big call of duty player not so much anymore but uh they have how is that relevant i'm gonna get i'm getting there that was it i'm like yeah i've been playing uh among us a lot lately and that's that was crazy anyway you're ready to move on and start the show no we did the alcatraz at night tour so that was fun what is that was that a rebirth yeah rebirth island was a whole whole call of duty thing okay i think they canceled it that's how long it's been since i've been on the game like they can't

like i think it's kind of like fuck this canceled no they moved on to like new things but i'm not sure if it's back yet but it was awesome so it was really funny to you'd hear with an earshot all it was with dudes talking to each other about how this looks like the call of duty game this is where i hide exactly and i'm just i'm laughing so hard because i'm kind of doing the same thing but just more internally i love that shit that's that bush i used to lay in you know what's funny is i like how um like certain generations or whatever like younger people they don't even realize alcatraz what it was that it's a prison you know they're like oh they must have built this for the video they modeled to model after the video games the success of the video game they're like let's build an island about it yeah

and then do tours and then we'll do a tour of it uh it was it was cool it was cool i mean island it was creepy as shit every now and again you stand there and be like god damn people just one dude i forget whatever his name was but it's like 17 years on that fucking island al capone was out there for a while yeah yeah and then he just got super sick right of syphilis yeah yeah went crazy too many chicks yeah or your dudes you don't know we don't know i wasn't there um but we where we stayed in san francisco it was like downtown i think it's called tenderloin which i was laughing about the whole time it's a tenderloin district it's like sick name guys fucking nailed it let's name this one fucking filet they just needed names so bad i mean it's soft right yeah kind of tenderloin let's do it works um so that part of san francisco these days

not doing too great like it's fine nothing bad happened but you went from your hotel and then went outside you're like fuck there was just all sorts of nonsense there was like security guards in full like military fatigue. Yeah. They looked like they were outside all the hotels in that area. Jesus. So that's a good sign, right? Yeah.

Anyway. Well, sure. It's good and bad. They're there. But the reason that they are there can't be good. But what if you're at a nice area and there's no security guards and shit's going down? All it takes is one crazy. Yeah.

Be running over there. Exactly. But I say that to say this. So being in that part of San Francisco, it's been a while since i've stayed like in a downtown that is you know going through some changes and nothing happened and then i get back home and the day i get back i drive into town and i go to a gas station and i pull in and there's a car that's in the way that love the gas pump that i need so i'm flipping around and i have to kind of bend out a little bit. And as I do, I go around this car and I see a skateboarder coming down the sidewalk. So I put my brakes on and because my front right part of my car has to go a little bit

into the sidewalk to make this turn. So I'm stopped. And then he sees me later and jumps off his board. He's like, what the fuck, dude? I'm just looking at him. He goes, what are you so fucking stupid? I'm trying not to kill you dude this kid who had to have been 80 pounds like maybe five eight he hasn't eaten ezra he

hasn't eaten in fucking months but he just looked like that and i'm like what are you doing he's like fuck and i'm looking around because people are watching this happen they're like i don't know and i roll the window down like hey i was like sorry i can't see through this car but i saw you and i braked i was like what are you what are you yelling about i'm yelling because you're so fucking stupid and i'm like totally shit and then this motherfucker reek just goes and pounds in my fucking hood he punched your hood punch my hood in like he left a den? Oh, yeah. No, it was a whole thing. So the second this dude did, I was like, you motherfucker.

Oh. I mean, I got my fucking switchblade, which is actually, I got to talk about that more, too. Oh. Wasn't even a problem, by the way. He took it with you? No, goddamn. But I'm not allowed to fly at all without getting checked every time. Oh, right.

That's what the letter said. And I got through faster through security than I've ever gotten through security. Like, it was a fast track to get me the fuck through security. You're like, let's not deal with this asshole again. Yeah, okay. Anyway, so I got out and I chased him and I'm yelling at him. You got out, you chased him on foot? Yeah.

Because he's struggling to get his skateboard back. With your switchblade? No. I didn't pop my switchblade out. Oh. But I have my switchblade. Okay. Just in case.

I don't know. I'm fucking- Did you have your gloves on? No, that would have stopped. He wouldn't even done it. All you had to do is get out and give him the finger and he would have been like oh shit sorry i just opened the door and wiggle my fingers at him in my glove and he's like never mind my bad my bad i i am happy you didn't hit my car with a skateboard yeah because i might have had to do something but i just chased them and i'm just happy my brain was like don't yank the kid off the skateboard i don't know what the legal ramifications are of that yeah because that's can you punch a car and then but if i yank him i don't know so i just stopped and let him go and

called the cops and nothing's gonna happen that's that's the that's the interesting thing because you're you're you were trying to do something nice you were watching out for this kid's well-being sure yeah and then you wished you would have hit him like the flip of a switch right or left like got into town one second later yeah i wouldn't have hit the kid on the skateboard yeah but that's that's another that's a butterfly effect that's for another right that's for another time another time you were trying to do the right thing and avoid this kid and apologize yeah and you apologize but he's also screaming so i'm like hey man sorry i was like i can't i didn't see you i can't see through this car right here i was like

but what are you yelling about because you're a fucking idiot like dude i could break you in half with one leg like i would figure out how to snap your body in half of the leg that's gonna get a challenge that kid's probably got some issues oh yeah that was that was crazy but anyway so as soon as i got back home and i'm like ah feels good to be home i love that fucking idiot you're in a place that you're not used to you're in an area that's sketchy and you're like god something bad's gonna happen here nothing it's just pleasant nothing bad happens you come home like oh i'm safe i'm back home what a journey you get your bashed in. And almost have to stab a kid with a switchblade. And I took a bunch of pictures of it because I had to send it to the cops. And then I just popped my hood open and then just went and popped it out as much as I could.

But he pumped it right into place with a bunch of curves. So it's fucked unless I go get it professionally done. But anyway, happy to be back. And then so that's probably not in your insurance clause. You may have like skateboarders. Skateboarder punch hood. Yeah. For temper tantrums. It's like that's probably not in your insurance clause you mean like skateboarder skateboarder punch hood yeah for temper tantrums like that's in the user things that are covered skateboarders it covers for 50 bucks worth yeah god damn it um okay well that's it are you ready to do more 47 yeah i wish i could empathize with the whole gas station thing but i just can't

i haven't i've been to a gas station in a few months oh god damn it does it feel you feel like a funny guy over there yeah okay it's pretty nice though i bet I haven't been to a gas station in a few months. Oh, God damn it. Does it feel... You feeling like a funny guy over there? Yeah. Okay. It's pretty nice, though. I bet it is. I mean, there's not a lot of skateboarders at the battery charging banks punching hoods,

are there? Well, yeah. I don't usually have to go to those. It's in my driveway. Oh, yeah. That's cool. I do have... My kids are skateboarding in my driveway, though.

That's going to end... But I can bash them. Yeah. They're small. Squish them. Yeah. If they try to tell me, Shut your fucking ass!

Fuck! I said no pickles! Fuck pickles! I said no fucking pickles! All right, let's do it. All right. Hey, shut up! Start the show already!

I have a question. Mm-hmm. And we have to figure this out. Okay. So would you rather, and would you, this is such fucking nonsense. Do you make it up? No, kind of, maybe. I don't know.

Sometimes things will come through my feed, and then you just like, your brain will see it, and then subconsciously come up with something. I think this was one of those. Would you rather have denim skin or live in a bag of milk what those are two drastically different things this reminds me of one if you've been listening through you know previous podcasts and this one danny beer this is like one that he would send in all the insane ones that we do that like what the fuck it's just a twisted brain danny and he's on acid and he just sends these things in uh but this one was not him speaking of acid when as you're reading that the first thing i thought

he's dropped no different kind of acid oh you said denim skin. So I was picturing like jean looking skin. And then my first thought was acid wash jeans. Skin. And then you said acid. So that's where I was going to go immediately. Imagine your skin being denim. Yeah. And you're like, oh, I need to, I need to, I want that acid wash look.

And so you just throw acid on your skin to get the acid wash jeans. Yeah. Yeah. You just gotta undo that though. Yeah. It's gotta be painful. You can probably diet. That's kind of jeans. Yeah. Yeah. You just gotta, that's gotta be painful. Can't undo that though. Yeah, that's gotta be painful. You can probably diet. That's kind of fun.

Diet? Yeah. Not like going on a food diet. Oh, I thought you meant like going on a food diet. You can just diet. You're like, God damn,

what is Joe doing today? Before I, hold on, before I move on with this thought, I just wanted to ask you, what is Mario's favorite kind of fabric? Mario,

like, Mario and Luigi? I don't know denim denim denim oh my god you get it can i ask before we get into this just side quest really quick uh-huh i've always wanted this i've never googled it i've never how come it's mario brothers but it's mario and luigi what's their last name bros like mario uh skubinowski i have no fucking idea yeah mario brothers it's it's like if we were brother we'd be the joe brothers right luigi just got fucked i have a name too hey anyway i'm green anyway that's another i'm taller and i'm tall and skinny And I can jump higher in some games.

I'm a Luigi, number one. We start doing Mario voices. Here we go. Have denim skin. Oh, yeah, so you could dye yourself. You could be yellow. You could be blue. You could just dye your body.

That's got to be worth money somewhere it would be you would be you could just go like naked and walk through the brush right and it wouldn't hurt well those little birds are gonna stick on you because that's what they stick to oh man the birds yeah the birds little birds like the spiky balls that's what they're called yeah i think yeah i hate when those get caught in your shoes like on your shoelaces or your socks. Yes. That's the worst. Yeah. So that would be, I think that's a major problem if you're an outdoorsy type of fella.

Or woman feller. Yeah, but it doesn't hurt though. Because the denim. It's poking into your skin. Yeah, but your skin's denim. I know. It's denim's tough but it's pokey like it's not like a i don't know i think it's made out of skin mario's pants strictly strictly mario's pants all the koopa troopas that he's murdered just i mean canada's

all set can has been doing this for decades if your If your skin was just flannel and denim, it'd be sweet. Canadian tuxedo, baby. That's tough, man. Other side, live in a bag of milk. First of all, who puts milk in a bag? Going back to Canada, they do. What? Look it up.

I learned this from uh from is we dumb was laughing so hard about who's putting fucking milk in a bag it turns out canada is and they do a lot of it a lot of bags of milk i know why well i don't know it's easier to squeeze on a on the go if you need to keep some milk in your pocket i don't want to i'll look this up another time, but I want... If you... If we have Canadians who put milk in a bag, let us know why you do this. I'm curious. I'm sure they already did. Is it more beneficial?

Beneficial? Easier storage? Just... It's like Carlos Rossi, but for milk. Milk! Isn't just Carlo Rossi? Or is it Carlos? I have no idea. I'm Oh. Isn't it just Carlo Rossi? Or is it Carlos? I have no idea.

I'm sure they're both great. Degrassi? Yeah. Isn't that a TV show? Yeah. Carlo Rossi? Is that all it is? And I just fucking put...

That's the wine, right? Yeah, the bagged wine. It's in a box. Box wine. Well, it's boxed and bagged. Sure. They doubled up on you. Do they put it in a bag or do they put it in a box inside of went. Well, it's boxed and bagged. Sure. They doubled up on you. Do they put it in a bag or do they put it in a box inside of a bag?

Inside? No. The bag is inside of the box. No, I mean like with the milk. The Canadians. Just the bag. Just the bag. I'm sure.

So it's not like in a bag, in a box? No. I think it's just stacked. What's in the box? What's in the box? It's just a bag of milk. Come on. What's in the box?

He opens it up. It's just a bag of milk. It's just a bag of milk. God damn it. Okay. Bag of bag of milk. Ah, damn it. Okay, bag of milk, fine. I'm picturing... So this one is one I did come across because now I'm remembering some of the rules that were set out.

It's like you're a bubble boy. So you're in a bubble and it just all has milk in it. And you don't get to swap out the milk. So it's going to go bad. And that's fine. But you're always in it like so you can still travel you can go to work at the i'm assuming dairy farm how do you travel you roll

you roll in your bald bag of milk have a normal job as an accountant this seems pretty easy for me you just want denim skin i want denim skin if it's if i have to live in a bag of milk that's a hot life though think about going outside in the sun have to live in a bag of milk that's a hot life though think about going outside in the sun your body i'll move to an area that's just kind of nice and cool antarctica i'll move to san francisco it's just kind of this could be a little hot a little toasty in that in that denim skin taking a shower in a car wash well let's go back to canada let's go back i'll i'll live live in northern Canada. With you and your denim skin. There's not much out there.

Well, yeah. Are you asleep? Do you sleep hot or cold? We haven't snuggled in a while, so I forgot. Well, I don't know. Recently, the older I get, I'll just wake up just in a pool of sweat. I know. How much fun is that?

In the winter. Yeah. It's not great. And with one, just a fucking sheet. It'll still be a pud still be i don't know what that is uh yeah the other worries me we were in a hotel the other day i woke up just sweaty and then i woke up in the morning woke up just a pool of sweat went took a shower got dressed sat back down to wait for everyone else to get ready sat down and didn't realize i was wet and

i got up and my clothes were wet i sat in my own fucking sweat puddle i didn't even know it was there you make that bust all but all moist yeah you know what i mean i love the idea you wake up like ah great night of sleep you look over your family is doggy paddling they're swift fighting for their lives yeah yeah yeah like good morning dad you're like oh did i sweat again like blowing your sweat out of a snorkel shouldn't have came and crawled in bed with me you should have stayed in your own bed should have not shouldn't have married me what i tell you yeah um yeah i guess i'm gonna go with the there's a lot of funny situations for the milk ball guy but they just go on and on it's the same thing i i didn't even think about it the milk spoiling

so yeah that'd be pretty rough a little pocket on it yeah that's so funny you keep your condoms yeah in your back pocket back pocket of your dick yeah just like hello always having my back pocket just standing up and he has a little jacket on that would be nice to always have pockets always have protection too you gotta come through your denim skin if you like if you well assuming you need to maybe you wouldn't need to shower because your skin is denim i was gonna say like every time you showered you just have to wait for it to dry you have to have a special there's nothing worse than wet jeans yeah it's they are wet literally forever yeah so your skin morning shower you're gonna be a damp cloth all day and your skin is denim so who's that but i think i'm gonna go with that i don't want to live in a bag of milk

yeah because i didn't think about spoiling if it's gonna spoil and you're just in there the smell of that if you taste it there's nothing spoiled. You slowly get used to it. You'd be pumped, though, if you somehow got lost in the woods. You're like, I'm literally in a bag of milk. Yeah, but if you get lost in the woods, you're wearing denim. Yeah. It's nice insulation, but you still have to, you know, is denim flammable? You're fucked. Ball of milk, you're never going to be on fire.

That's cool. Like, that's one less thing to worry about. How many situations have you almost been on fire? Man. One. Like this week? Yeah. Two.

Like yeah. Four or five. That outweighs the smelling the shit milk. No, that's why I'm going denim skin. Okay. Which is fine. I think we agree on that one. All right.

Well, enough of that silliness, but that was fun. We haven't had a completely off the fucking rails yeah those are two massively have nothing to do with anything all right here we go hey hey what's up babe what are you thinking about uh you know nothing actually you know what i'm thinking about a lot of shit what are you thinking about joe i've been thinking about this a lot lately what is it will you please share it with me on the show? Yeah, I will. Thank you. Well, I've been wanting to start this video series, and it's just been like,

now it's been like in my brain, spiraling around, and I can't shake it out of my brain. Oh, yeah. I know those things. Like, what life must have been like for parents back in the cave days, or like marriage and stuff like that right like what were the what were the expectations there's none that's so fun well see like i feel like everything back then i don't know this because we weren't there but like i feel like everything they did back then was for a purpose yeah to be alive to survive survive to get shelter to get food everything was very thought through water there was no petty shit but there had to have been right

there had humans are still yeah because we we still need those things we still need shelter we still all food but we have jobs where like you had that's your own that's its own stress you know like but we have things but we can go to a grocery store we can just buy food we're not we don't have to go hunt we don't have to fight man killers for clothing and all this kind of stuff we just go buy it yeah so our stresses have changed so i feel like what we're we get mad about now is like petty stuff. Yeah, just the slight- You left the cupboard open. Yeah, things are so, we have such a high expectations because of how technology has increased convenience. Yeah. Like you go to the place to pick up your groceries and you show up 10 minutes early.

They're like, oh, we're almost done with it. And you're like- Yeah, I have to wait 10 minutes. Yeah, you have to carry it i have to go there and wait in the parking lot just bring it to my house which i mean some already do for an extra fee but it's just we're so spoiled so i get what you're saying and it's and so like i just the the stark contrast between that where we're like oh god i have to wait five minutes for an hamburger that somebody else is gonna make you know it's like that's we're like, oh God, I have to wait five minutes for an hamburger that somebody else is going to make.

You know, it's like that's, we're upset about that. When they used to have to go into the wilderness or caves and woods. For a week. For a week and maybe not find anything to kill. Then you have to fight this fucking thing. Drag a bear six miles. You might lose family members And that's just

Sorry It's all part of it That's Tuesday We knew going on this hunt That half of us might not come back The weather isn't great And that's Some of us are going to die

Yeah And I'll see you Maybe I'll see you next week, hun When the weather's not great now It's like I'm not going to go outside I'm not going to put on

What jacket am I going to wear I already put the jackets away god yeah put them away for the for the summer so all the way downstairs get my jacket so like imagine imagine those kind of things where the petty shit that we argue now like we have petty beef now yes we do most of those things it's fucking petty shit so take it back to the stone age days or the caveman days where like what are they what are they arguing about like the wife's like oh god the husband comes home i'm going on a hunt have you seen my spear she's like you left it it's where the spear is oh it's where it always is i haven't touched it just look it's in the same corner you always have an oonga Boonga. Oh, and then he's, oh, yep, you're right.

Here it is. All right. All right. I see it now, Oonga Boonga. And then, and then I imagine that never happened because the guy was going to go at risk his life or whoever was going out to do it was going to go risk their life to feed their family. So it was probably this big deal, like.

Like a hierarchy? Yeah. Like, I hope, I hope you come back. Because if you don't. There's all these things. We're all going to go risk their life to feed their family so it was probably this big deal like like a hierarchy yeah like i hope i hope you come back because if you don't there's all these we're all gonna die yeah he said i've got bills to pay it's like we need to eat we're gonna die so you appreciated the person going out like right now when you go to work um it's just kind of like in passing you're like all right love you but you know it's just you're going out there and but back then it was like i may not see this fucking fucking guy tesla's only 95 percent charge yeah damn it what's wrong with this place it's gonna take me 45 minutes for this thing to charge the power in this fucking house i swear to god no but i pictured like school things back in the caveman days dude like like a music concert and you're just like all it's just all the parents sitting on

rocks or on the ground whatever and your kids are out there playing dumb fucking instruments awfully and like just slapping sticks on they're hitting rocks together like just weird like yeah or they have like art class and you go in there and they have a little art gallery and you're walking through and then you're like one couple's looking like a girt whatever this fuck girt whatever your fucking caveman kid's name is because girty it's girty when he's little when he grows up it's just girt it's like scotty and scott Scott, yeah. Josh. No, it doesn't work. Joshua and Josh. Joey and Joe. Tommy, Tom.

So Gert, he's not a great artist. And you're walking around with little torches in the cave, going down like, Gert sucks. Because you know the little family making fun of other families. A little rivalry. Oh, yeah. See the way they started their fire this morning? Caught. See the fish he caught?

Oonga boonga. Well, yeah. It's all that petty shit that the dad, the neighbor's like, God, he's using a charcoal grill or whatever. Or he's using a gas grill. God, can fucking Gert's dad mow the lawn? Oonga boonga. Like, look how high that grass is.

Look, he's still using rocks to start a fire. a fire dude does he know we're onto sticks now he's not even using the right one everybody knows those those two whatever fucking rocks this has nothing to do what you're talking about but i never thought about that like the early tools and the different like versions early on like you had sticks and you had like sticks 6.0 that had a grip on it yeah sticks 2.0 and then 3.0 and so but some families couldn't afford it right well they didn't know how to make it so they said they look over astonished as fucking uh as a fucking lawnmower well yeah you know what i mean yeah like the equivalent of a lawnmower everything is an upgrade when you think it's like stones like think of it in video game uh senses too like you you start out with a stick and then you upgrade to i don't know a bamboo wrap for a

handle so now you're not cutting your hands up and just the the leveling up that you do and then you see the people that are like yeah still behind like a poor bastard girt and he's still you can't draw and he's got those old ass sticks his spear is off like god damn he's still trying to carve into that wood don't we know we're on to crans can i can i join the hunting party he's like look at his girt's little hunting stick like god damn dude he's gonna get You got to upgrade your kid's hunting spear. Looks like shit. It's been rough lately. And that's the thing.

Like, there was no, like, I don't, we don't know, but there was no, like, money or anything back then. So, like, everything was just about your tribe and, like, making sure people were safe and fed. That's it. So, like, just the different kind of jobs and fed that's it so just like just the different kind of jobs and stuff that we have now and the amount of money that some people make versus what others make now i think that's why tribes like that's why things work back then because everyone

did their own thing they like you were good at hunting you're good at gathering you're good at forging all this kind of stuff you're kind of good at gathering which is also really funny like the hierarchy of gathering yeah like yeah i guess yeah look how much gert can bring in versus what you can bring in gertrude gertrude yeah there's only gerts and gertrude gertrude gertie and gertrude and gertrette but but it's like gert jr that's why that's why those that's why it it worked and then you get the tribe where it's getting big and big and big. And then all of a sudden you got the guy that's just like, I'm not going to go on a hunt today. You guys got it right.

My stomach's upset. But still, at dinner, he's still eating his share. And that's when the things start turning. He's not pulling his weight. Now he's dinner. Yeah. Guaranteed. Now we've got a difficult decision.

And I'm not sure if you knew this uh but if you look back at least scientists say like the big turn between caveman and humans evolving into what we are today was when caveman figured out how to make fingerless leather gloves oh and then that changed everything yeah because you probably get infections and all that kind of stuff from scraping rock you know sticks and yeah sticks and stones may break my scrape my fingers imagine if you had denim gloves denim skin you would have lived forever denim skin and fucking a caveman like jesus you don't fit in just picturing how cool okay we'll move on but uh all these tribes right of groups of cavemen and then there's one cave it's just fucking like yeah yeah you can peek in there it's just nothing but fingerless leather

gloves fucking dancing they have fucking they have a whole woolly mammoth on a rotisserie above the fire and they're like oh the mcmammoth has returned just fucking titties out you're like oh they're just like just fucking doing well that's that's what's funny like it's like all obviously things but like any and i know the flintstones they did their own they did their own thing but that was in the 60s so like that's 60 70 years ago you know so like now we have different expectations we have different things that we're doing now so then you it's even worse that separation so like yeah imagine anything for activity back then oh i mean anything i'm still kids yes like what are you gonna do it's like mom i fucking drew on the wall yesterday i'm so bored well they go hunting once you go draw on the wall and now it'd be like

oh my god you're drawing on the wall right you know screen time how about this your kids drawing on the wall oh god what are you doing you're making a mess go outside and play and then uh back in the caveman days mom's like don't go outside and play right there's a pack of wolves go inside and draw on the wall your dad's gonna kill he promised he he's no does they have a beef with this wolf it's gonna be a long thing just get back he said he's been saying for six weeks that he'll get to this pack of wolves and if he will he'll eventually get to it i know him that's why i love him that's that's the whole marriage thing too like i've been telling him to kill this pack of wolves last six weeks and he and the dad's like i'm gonna get

to it i'll get to i'm tired i was chasing a deer all day yeah i was out fighting wildebeest right wrestling wildebeest to the ground to make your stew your wildebeest stew that you've been asking for last thought on this going back to the dancing cave of the guys that have their fingerless leather gloves now. Okay. And a guy walks up and he's like, hey, excuse me. The other one has a phone. This caveman group already has telephones and shit. And he's like, hold on.

Puts his phone down. He's like, what do you want? He goes, you guys have any food? He's like, fuck off, loser. Nerd. Nerd. And then right back to the phone. Sorry about that.

They have cars and fucking dune buggies. Likeies like what the fuck how did they get here so fast i just love the idea and this was part of the thing i wanted to do where you pull a caveman into now society and how they would react and then also you pull a person from then and back then so like just the person that shows up in the caveman area and doesn't have their ipad doesn't have their phone it's a good luck and it's just like have fun like just even not even trying to survive just trying to like keep yourself occupied yeah trying to fit in anywhere so what that guy does is he develops all the things that we have now so then the caveman walk over and then they that's club. It was like, I guess it was too quiet. Yeah.

It's kind of like Doc Brown when he goes back to the wild west and he's inventing all the stuff that exists now back then. Yeah. I get it. That should be back to future four. Yeah. Back to the stone age. We got to find some new actors, but we could do it.

CGI. Yeah. There's no, I don't know. Michael, he's getting a little oonga boonga, but I've listened to cgi yeah there's no i don't know michael he's getting a little but i've listened to him talk and he's the wit is still there oh yeah it's just yeah it's a sad it's a sad thing to see little interviews but he's he's doing great yep uh all right let's move on look at some dick it's not talking about not like primitive because it's like a new dick new age like trim i just realized how dick how creepy saying that new dick. New age, trimmed, kent dick. I just realized how creepy saying that new dick sounds.

Yikes! Is it dumb? Is it interesting? Is it cool? Then it's dick. Love a good heist story. Oh, yeah. Good heist.

Man, this one. This one's something something new something different in it and they came away with they killed it yeah the amount of work they had to put in to pull this off i do have to have a little bit of respect for it but this is gonna work gotta do it uh estimated two million dimes stolen from truck in northeast Philadelphia. Wait, two million dimes? Two million dimes. So, first of all... I didn't know there were that many dimes left.

That's what I was going to say. I was like, I had no idea that there's that many dimes out there. Kidding, of course. But then, I'm just going to push play on this story instead of reading it, because some of the numbers about how much this shit weighed is fucking crazy. Detectives now believe the thieves got away with twice as much as they originally thought some 10 000 pounds worth of the coins actually news reporter maggie can't lie now at the walmart parking lot where this all played out maggie that adds up to quite a bit of money quite a bit of money every time i'm like

i'll just watch the news story and every time i do i'm like i should have just fucking read it quite a bit of money and and then the thing that kills me i mean obviously it's not like it's new because family guy knows it too but when it's a girl's turn to talk and they all in their noise and then when this lady maggie kent goes from the live the live lead-in to the story then you have the produced story listen to the difference in how she fucking talks incredible when you think about it investigators think that this thief or thieves may have gotten up to two hundred thousand dollars worth of dimes that's two million coins Thousands of dimes scattered and shimmering in a parking lot of Philadelphia Mills Mall.

They spilled out of a parked trailer when thieves broke in. They were trying to cross load the dimes into other things to carry it away. There's dimes all over the parking lot. The cargo, $750,000 worth of dimes, was loaded up at the Philadelphia Mint yesterday. Police say the truck driver parked here overnight, went home, and got some sleep before a long day of driving to Florida. But when he returned in the morning, he found someone had broken into the trailer using bolt cutters. That driver was a part of the heist.

No one just willy-nilly knows exactly what semi-truck doesn't have a person in it. And it's full of fucking dimes. What do you think his cut was? A couple bucks. Like 10,000 dimes? Burrito Supreme combo. Dude, 10,000 pounds of dimes. That's insane.

What a terrible idea. Like, I mean, what do they use? No car has taken that. I mean truck can a truck hold 10 000 pounds in the bed without blowing out the suspension system i don't i mean i wouldn't think so just a probably like a tractor trailer or like dump truck i know i mean i guess they just worked their ass off all night they just ran over there with little buckets could you imagine they're like the little thing they're like, they're putting in rolls. Like, it's too loud.

Too loud. They have to wrap them first. God, so many. About one? I wonder, I want a quick math equation. Like, how many dimes go into a roll? Well, we have the internet. And how many, so how many,

like, if theoretically, if they did X amount of rolls, you know, like and how many so how many like if if theoretically if they did X amount of rolls, you know, like how many it took and then yeah at the time of they had how many rolls they could Have done well if they did everyone every minute 50 dimes per per roll Okay, how long do you think it takes to well this much? Well, they said they took 2 million, right? So well, how long does it take to do a roll? I'm wondering I'm not sure if i'm gonna figure that out. Yeah, that's why i was wondering if somebody with we can we can math skills we can guess what the fucking brightness where's my brightness okay i'm just gonna tell you how many rolls that is then we can move on 40 000 that's 40 000 rolls 40 000 rolls go 10 10 seconds

per roll if you once you get it down i mean come on how hard could it be um but i was also thinking like what if think about if they did come across that just but on randomly they're popping open things and they're like god damn it like nothing nothing tonight gert uh sorry gert's making it through caveman caveman stuff god damn it um and you're going through and you pop it open it's dimes you're like oh shit yes and you're like fuck like you have to have it settles then you're like god damn it this is gonna be a lot of fucking a lot of fucking dimes man and then trying to spend them like how do you just over the course of how many years do you slowly try to deposit dimes at the bank i just i get it every monday i show up with show up with

ten thousand dollars in dimes that's me we don't have to go on this i just have to say it because i know there's some people thinking it out there because i it's in my head i have to make the blazing saddles reference to someone's gonna have to go back and get a shitload of dimes to get through the thing and then that's all i want to say i just i someone's going to be out there waiting for a reference to blazing saddle so i just say i'm acknowledging it now we're moving on what would you do if you were a thief so you are and you came across the semi truck full of pennies would you go for it like it was packed full of pennies would you see that's so funny like i don't know man well so that's 10

that's 10 times less the amount of money than these people would have made and it would have been more effort yeah so is that worth i don't know that's why we do this show at least now you know what what you're looking at if you come across a semi full of fucking pennies or nickels imagine if it was quarters because then you immediately go to like, oh, an arcade. Like, I could spend a couple years at an arcade

nonstop. Putting them in. But dimes, I mean, pennies is out. I think it's out. Nickels? Half as much?

I don't know. Which weighs more? Probably a nickel. So that's fun. Nickel probably weighs the most other than a penny or a quarter.

Half dollar. 50 cent piece maybe? I'm saying maybe i'm saying semi truck full of 50 cent pieces i'm in i'll help you steal some shit i but thinking about you know like how did you not give up at a hundred thousand dollars for the dimes you're like we gotta keep going tonight pulling all night i guess if you're already doing it and you know you've got the time it's like what else am i gonna do go home and sleep and they spent a bunch of money to buy a fucking backhoe yeah and they go back out there and it's a tax write-off at that point yeah because imagine if you just break even like what the fuck did we do that for right yeah i'm just i don't know i guess that that was interesting you got to come out in the positive

you got to make a profit it's a funny thing to to come across but well they at that i think at that point you just steal the backhoe too yeah just steal you're not gonna steal that and then and then go out and make a purchase you think you're gonna figure out how to hotwire that semi-truck in the time it took you to take 10 000 pounds i know the guy's not in it you i mean i wonder if they did know that. Maybe they should have spent the money to learn how to hotwire. That's investment right there. It is.

It is. That's a tax write-off, too. Another tax write-off right there. Okay, what do you got for the dick this week? All right, what do I have? I have some brawling goats. Fuck yeah, dude. 911 call about fight ends with Florida cops separating two brawling goats, sheriff says.

Two brawling goats ended up at a Florida jail after deputies were called to break up their fight that spilled into nearby yards, according to the Putnam County Sheriff's Office. That sounds like something that happened in Putnam. That's right. Putnam County. Putnam on the map is what it's doing. Yeah, it is. The odd scene played out April 30th, whatever. Both goats were taken into custody, and even the sheriff's office can't resist making jokes about it.

The suspects were pretty mad at one another. The fight escalated into the yards of nearby residents. The sheriff's office wrote on Facebook, both were pretty hard-headed. But officers managed to separate, wrangle, and bring them to the Putnam County Jail. We're putting them in jail. Where they belong! Where all unruly goats belong. A photo shows the suspects were

still glaring angrily at each other when police led them away in leashes. And it took less than a day to find their owner, thanks to tips. That's what first drug me in with this story is when i read that and then i scrolled back up and looked at the picture they actually are they're just like they're like maybe two feet apart just staring at it's like a fight when it when they break it up

and they're still like fuming the guys want to fight the way in at the ufc yeah yeah yeah you wait dude you wait till tomorrow wasn't here you wait till tomorrow uh the tip thing is so funny to me i know like you're in a neighborhood you gotta know who has the goats and they're not little no they're little fainting goats even then they're fucking goats they're loud and they live somewhere nearby yeah there's no way this is like a huge trek yeah like they didn't wait 300 miles to fight in the street they just fought in the fucking street outside of they didn't get off of a truck somewhere like they're just fighting in the middle of the street and it does say that they the owner so one owner but i thought that was super funny if there was two

different owners yeah like the hatfields and mccoys yeah and they're just meeting in the middle they've been trying for fucking years. And finally, their owners left both gates open at the same time. They're like, fuck yeah. This is it. Yeah, they're just like, they're staring at each other through the fence, just waiting for that time. With those goat eyes. The chain link fence.

Someday. That's a bad owner right there. One person offered to post bond for them while others tried to imagine the 911 call all i can hear right now is someone saying arrest them they've been out there fighting the funnier part is that it actually uh this is actually true events yeah it's 10 o'clock do you know where your kids are i get it because goats kids you get it i get it at least it was a good old street brawl one-on-one no weapons head-to-head they resisted they resisted um pretty funny yeah so i i just think that that's that's so like and goats too like if it was dogs

it's like yeah dogs fight dog fight you know like it's just but the idea that there's just like two goats like did it say what time i feel like you read it said 10 o'clock. Well that was last guy just said oh shit Oh, yeah, that was a joke. Look, do you know where your kids are? Yeah, remember the Beavis buddy Do you know where wiener is but the picture is at night at night? I hope it was like a late at night. It's like one in the morning. Everyone's sleeping fuck is that a caring to goats fighting? What that must sound like yeah Looking at the peeking through your blinds like what the fuck is that what the fuck am i looking at jeez man in the middle of the street wake up you gotta see this you're never gonna believe this i'm gonna believe this you just

gotta see it for yourself oh boy you gotta i hope to see uh some fighting goats just in the fucking streets there should be more animal fights in the streets. That's pretty entertaining. What a way to do it. You know, because like raccoons, you know, they're fighting in some alley. Killing my chickens. Yeah, like fun stuff like that. Do it right out in the middle of the street where everyone can see.

Place bets. Right. Let's bring back goat fighting. Yeah. Street goat fighting. That'll really make America great again. Yes, it will. Bring the goat fights back.

Funny. I love it. Let's do the, it will. Bring the goat fights back. Funny. I love it. Let's move on to Petty Beef. Okay. I like this one. Okay. Silence in the court. You are now entering the Petty Beef courtroom, where all sides of some bullshit will be heard and evaluated.

The people are real. The cases are real. The rulings are final-ish. This is Petty Beef. This is from our son, Ryan. Okay. He's been doing pretty good. Ryan cases are real. The rulings are final-ish. This is Petty Beef. This is from our son, Ryan. Okay. He's been doing pretty good. Ryan with a Y. Yeah, he sent us an Easter card a while back, so that was nice of him. Thank you, Ryan.

Yeah, he says, Hey guys, I hope you're ready for the dumbest Petty Beef yet. I love the opening. Boy, I've gotten most everyone at work hooked on Can You Don't and the beef I have is with one of my coworkers. Jay, if you hear this, we must abide to the decision made by our inferiors. Okay.

All right? So two listeners going at it. Wait, are we the inferiors? I thought we would be the fearier. We'd be the feariers? Yeah. There are inferiors, right? Isn't that how that works?

I don't know. Sick baseball team named them. Just the fucking fears. Hell yeah, dude. One day we were discussing time travel. I like it already. I can't recall exactly how we got here, but one of my coworkers had a million dollar idea wherein he would travel back to feudal Japan.

He would bring with him a shitty sword he bought from the mall and then swap that sword for one made by an expert sword maker. Upon bringing it back to the present, he would sell it for a big payoff. Now, I tried to explain to him that the sword he leaves behind is the sword that becomes the valuable one because it'd be the one with historical significance. For example, if I time traveled back to World War snap and swapped the gun that killed hitler with a different gun then the one i stole in the first place would never be used to kill hitler makes sense because i fucking took it we fight about it at least once every couple months and to this day he still thinks this idea will work a ruling on this matter would be most appreciated thanks

longtime dummy non-silly goose ass moocher ryan i love that question i know that's fantastic because that's that that i mean i love back to the future yeah you know so like the idea of that oh that gives actually kind of got goosebumps thinking about that thinking about the debate that you could have with that conversation because i know these things i have friends with that we talk about the same fucking thing. You've never figured it out. And then the longer it goes on, you know, the fight goes on. You've done it.

Then you stop. You do it again. You revisit. The more you are ready for the revisit. Oh, yeah. You can tell it's going there. Like, yeah, that's pretty crazy. You know what else is crazy?

It's not the same fucking sword. You jump in. You jump right into it. You cut him off. Yes, it yes it is yeah god damn it if you're around people that have never experienced that like whoa dude calm down no it's fine it's fine i knew this was coming we've done this dance we've done this dance that's interesting god damn that's interesting the sword that was made is going to be a better sword but the one that he swapped it out for will be the one that but would that be so confusing to find it later where it's like what the fuck is this just made by

fucking what orange julius whatever mall thing you want to say just oh my god is this sword by anaconda and finch i uh yeah i uh so having not given this any thought i'm just putting a thought out there so i don't know how accurate this is going to be but i think the other guy might be right because you're assuming that you stole the gun before hitler you killed hitler you could kill hitler you could go back and take the gun that killed hitler right. But you couldn't take the gun before he killed himself. Right. So these are two different types of examples that I wanted to point out. But he was trying to use that as an example to prove his point.

Yeah. And I'm saying that. But they're not the same. In the example that he used, he's correct. Right. But all you do is wait until he kills himself then you go back and get it so you do the same thing with the previous argument right like if there's a particular action involved with the item then that the that doesn't make any sense because just go get it

afterwards if you get it beforehand then yeah it's not going to be the significant one in the future fine i got that that makes sense because there's an action thing that makes that this like the one that matters but with the sword if it's just the sword right that has no significance other than being an old sword he might be able to go grab it and bring it to the future because the time yeah passes no matter what right so both knives will be old one will just be authentic and one will be a shit orange julius one i i think like they'll both be old swords but it's it's not significant to the current time so if he takes his new sword that was made by anna connor and fitch yeah back to the feudal age brings a feudal sword back the feudal sword is now worth money yeah the one he took yes it's still perfect like you could date it and be like this was made here right with this steel in the way

that it's supposed to be made yes and this other one you guys thought was the one was made by bed bath and beyond but you don't know that's there wouldn't there would be no uh no one would care about the other one they only care about the no one would care about the other one. They only care about the, now they only care about the feudal age one. Is that because it sat in a different place? Well, no, because you can tell it was branded by. Right. That's what I'm saying.

Whatever the person. So I'm, what I'm saying is. So it's the same. He is, the other guy's right. It would be worth. Money. The old sword would be worth the money. Yeah.

Because you just have to prove that that's what type of sword it was.'s it that's all you have to do uh and then the other one you just be like yeah we'll test it it's fucking made by it's plastic by man cave but i don't it wouldn't have it wouldn't have lasted that long probably not the one that you took back we wouldn't even be discussing is what i'm saying yeah you just like i have this sword look at it and they time it up and historians be like yeah that's the fucking sword yeah how'd you get it and you're like unless that's the only one you know it's it's for some reason they valued that sword then they just murder you because it was uh so significant that we don't know how this was made oh fuck now now i'm starting to. Now I'm starting to get into it.

Yeah. Because... Well, they will know how it's made. The other one's a piece of shit. Like, it's a shitty sword. Like, you can test that. You just cut it open. Not that it's a shitty sword.

It's that it was preserved for so long because it was such a unique thing. And it would be thought of as a time traveling item i think it'd be awesome it would be worth money the one you took would be worth money but the one that's still there is also going to be worth money just keep going back and swapping out fucking swords bro but imagine the scenario the sword that's also really funny like for this petty beef like that's the thing he's like i got a million dollar idea. Out of all the things you could go back and change, you're like, I'm just going to take his sick ass sword.

Because swords are significant to the time. Well, sure. That's how you conquer. But you can do anything else to make over a million dollars. Going back in time to do it. You could do literally so much shit. Oh, yeah. That's what I'm saying.

You go back, you get the almanac. Just do anything. And make bets. Yeah. Well, because that's more fun to think about. I think the sword, the plastic sword that you took back would be, it's really interesting because, God, he's got me thinking about this now. Because it goes back there, and it was so, like, them and Feudal Japan were like, what

is this? It's almost like it's a something. It was like it's from the aliens. So they kept it preserved. They kept it. You know, it was like it was a big deal to them. It's so to them, that sword was way more valuable than a sword that was made then. God damn it.

Yeah, makes sense. So now you have the sword that was made then god damn it yeah it makes sense so now you have the sword that is 2 000 years old whatever that's from now but it lasted this whole long time that's that's more rare than the sword from the feudal age i think they're both worth money that's what i'm getting at they're both going to become worth money now but i'm starting to see now that the sword from now might be more valuable because it's one of a kind like you could probably there's probably museums out there that have swords from that time maybe not a lot but they have some that is a one a one it's one off handmade hand handcrafted well it's it's shittily made it's

not handcrafted but they thought it was shittily made it's not handcrafted but they thought it was they thought it was like some fucking out of this world well they'd learn that really quick if you ever fought with it be like bang just explodes like they wouldn't know they wouldn't know what it is because it'd be made out of plastic or whatever so they'd just be like what the fuck is this oh you went with plastic i went with like just like a sword but not a piece of shit sword. Plastic sword? That's what I started thinking. Like a kid's toy.

I didn't even think about that. That's why they were so blown away by it. Little gold wrap. Looked like shoelaces on the bottom. Yeah, yeah. Remember those swords? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. It had a sheath that you put,

and they're like, we have those at home right now. We got them at the fair. Yeah, you did. I don't know. I can't give you a solid, if you can send in some more examples ryan that'd be great because the two you sent in i'm not totally sold on it i think they would both be worth money the gun one 100 you're right but the sword thing is different than a gun because it's not doing anything

the examples don't the the hypothetical situation to prove his point, to me, doesn't line up. Doesn't make sense. Because that's a significant moment in time. And a significant item. Yeah. It doesn't matter what the item did. That's the difference. The gun, it did something.

So now that's the worth of the gun. The sword did nothing. It still has worth. Yeah. No one cared about the gun's maker. It only just, it's what it did. Whereas the sword, it was like the master maker and it was through wars and stuff. So Ryan, send in some more rebuttals and we'll try and settle this out in some coming episodes.

I like this frame of thought though. I love thinking about that. Yeah, send all this. Do some more of those. More shit like that for Petty Beef. We love it. We got some good news.'s do it okay so you're telling me there's a chance hooray we aren't doomed yeah a nice kid doing business stuff making making moves and doing

some pretty cool neat things well entrepreneur entrepreneur this was sent in by james so thank you james i'm just to push play on the video and it'll explain exactly what this little kid's doing. He's cleaning. Maybe I should read the story. Nobody should have that dirty life. I'm just going to read it. I thought it was someone singing.

No, no, no. This is the worst song. Check this like, well, check this out. What? No, but this is, he says, nobody should ever have that dirty of a headstone. So this Michigan boy has started his own unique business this summer, and he's cleaning graves. Naveen Town, I believe, is turning heads with his business. Naveen cleans headstones, which charges only $20 to clean dirty headstones. That's the gist of the story. But this kid, if you want to look it up and learn more about it,

is just so compassionate for being not old and having that much connection to things that usually it's only till later in your adult life or i don't know maybe teens late teens you kind of start understanding that you care not going to live forever and that everybody around he's going to die and you're like okay well that's that's fun or he just saw a business opportunity that no one was doing yeah he's like dude i'm just going to capitalize on this grief and so he's just fucking going all in yeah i mean he should be charging more than 20 bucks so yeah i mean that's well he didn't test the market no he did not it's not a whole lot of weird if you up your prices all of a sudden you double your money and yeah you're like jesus

christ you could get 100 bucks a headstone that's a lot of work that is i mean the things you have to bring out there although he doesn't have any bills or anything, so. Yeah. His parents are like, you can get out of here. Just kick him out. They're like, yeah, they just want him to go play, but he started a business. He's raking in cash. Hey, goddamn, go outside.

Please go outside for once. I'm going to go play at the cemetery. Okay. All right. It's weird, but. Make about 600 bucks. Comes home with just a few hundred bucks. How the hell?

And only so many headstones you can clean. But. Well, but. Make about 600 bucks. Comes home with just a few hundred bucks. How the hell? And only so many headstones you can clean. But. Well, you go back and do it. That's why it's. It's a, I know, but they only do it so many, how many times you need a headstone cleaned? Depends on how windy and stuff it is. Depends on how much you love your family, I think is what the true answer was. Well, I think a lot of people are probably just trying to help this kid out too.

Yeah, probably. But he does a good job. A little scrub brush. Because that always does have a harder impact on me i went to a cemetery on the outskirts about two hours away from san francisco actually like this old super old one like 18 fucking 13 and yeah when one's all broken apart or super dirty yeah it's sad it is it's a little sad or like some have seashells and stuff on it and other ones have nothing you're like god damn like some this guy died and no one cares they did the same job they died doing the same thing

and then just wasn't loved as much sorry bro so i do love the idea of this kid even if he's making some money off it cleaning some headstones yeah obviously it's a nice thing i just like to fucking it's more fun to destroy way more fun to just think about him selfish reasons and he's doing it just to make money uh you're gonna love this ready freddie why would i love this you'll see the internet is pretty wild depending on your browsing habits you can either experience something super cool or go to prison crazy right let's check it out together as a couple hey look what i found yes ready for weird luxury things you can buy i am i haven't i never could have anticipated this first didn't really i guess i couldn't say i shouldn't say that anticipate that

coming back in his style is pre-ripped jeans all the kids are wearing pre-ripped clothing again your kids aren't cool enough i can't keep track of it man i know your kids you'll be there soon enough well i have a niece so yeah she wears ripped jeans you got it so uh this was sent in by our daughter dawn and it says for sale zoo zoo jeans from Japan that have been ripped by claws and teeth of lions. From the mouth of lions. Yeah. File this under unnecessary embellishment. That'd be a good spot for it.

A Japanese store called Loft. Yeah, that's a good... Fuck yeah, it is. Is inventing denim... Was inventing? Oh, inviting denim lovers. Oh, that's me. That's yeah, it is. Is inventing denim... Was inventing? Oh, inviting denim lovers. Oh, that's me. That's you.

We're both denim lovers. We are made of it. It has splurged hundreds of dollars on a pair of jeans that have been ripped or distressed by zoo animals, including lions, tigers, and bears. Oh, my. Oh, my. Yes, you read that right. Hundreds of dollars for jeans that were distressed by zoo animals.

And they have... If you want to... If you are interested in this, I'm not going to keep reading it but in u.s dollars take a take a guess how much this uh because when they said like hundreds of dollars i was like oh man like they charging like 250 600 it's a good guess no it's about a thousand bucks for a pair of jeans and a lion eight which i guess if i had the money i'd buy some line Do they have to monitor Like okay He's gonna rip those things in half

We gotta go get him from him Cause then He's just destroying So many pairs Are just fucked And that's why I have to pay so much Cause one out of ten

Is actually wearable Just imagine a pair Of like $30 Levi's They throw in there Line chews them up A little bit And they sell them for a grand They didn't even do the work

The line did all the work And they wrap the denim Like around a tire It looks like So it just bites through it. And then it's used as a chew toy to distress it. So they're not like, it's not, they're not loose in the thing that they're just ripping apart. Not according to the video.

They have it on some sort of stationary thing and they can go up and bite it and rip it. They put it on a mannequin and just send like a robot. Go get it. Yeah. Hello. Hello. Wrap it with me. Hello, big kitty. they put it on a mannequin and just send like a or a robot go get it yeah hello hello hello big kitty johnny five not alive hello nice kitty reaches out to pet it and how did this just never and i know he's making billions he's gonna make millions he's going to make millions of dollars of this idea and that even just fuck it fuck yeah dude how'd you come up with this

he's walking around what on the last rope and you decide to spend it at a zoo you just look over the railing like should i just jump in there they're called l1s and it says designed by lions and the logo's got like scratch marks in it but he's like should we just jump in this lion whatever they're called lion den he's like no i'm wearing den what are they what are they in no den no denim oh yeah back in that would have been a better name they should have hired me they should have hired you because i just said word you came up with it what denim i I am. Den, M. Okay. So you're like, I'm not going in here. These are my nice pants.

You're like, maybe these pants, if I got them ripped up a little bit by this lion. Now is the lion seeing some of this profit? Like a gold dish or something? Like big ass steak? Yeah, a little extra steak. Sex time or whatever? Yeah. Give him a nice little trim on the mane. Spice it up. I mean, it should be a little extra sex time or whatever yeah give them a nice little trim

on the mane spice it up i mean it should be a little trickle down but it's not going to be what okay this company takes off god and you mass you have to mass produce these genes and thinking about that complex of a hundred lions chewing chewing like a sweatshop someone had a desk but it's just like a thousand lions and just you have a little rope and the worker has to

drag the torn pants out swing them over grab them take them off dude the thought of that is so funny because everything you know

like when they started let's say let's go back to someone making the first pair of jeans how much of effort that was in a work and it was like a it was a fun process because they're making these things and then they get so many orders and start growing so fast that you have to mass produce things like this this will have to be eventually mass produced where you just have like

you're you're breeding lions just so they can chew on the denim which was joe exotic joe exotic yeah was fucking joe yeah he didn't think of this and then once the trend goes away now you've got a thousand lions so then you're gonna kill on all these lions then you start your lion meat business yeah the lion's every bit of the animal the lion pants pants is in cahoots with the lion meat company. You're like, huh, how did that work out for you? All right, let's hear from some of our kids. You're feeding, these lions are, yeah, now the lions are cannibals because they're just feeding off the lions that are dying in the sweatshops.

When a business gets, like, as a a business owner are you just watching the numbers to see if you're big enough to get kids to do it in a different country yeah like you just have to just waiting to hit that mark and it's like finally oh god you can hire some get some kids and can you imagine like an investigation into the company like are they even using real lions now it's just they're using kids that like with scissors and shit yeah claws they have paw like lion paws and they're in there getting scratch faster i'm sorry trying no lions were harmed in the making of these jeans these jeans that well i'm not gonna sell for nearly a thousand bucks anymore okay let's hear from the kids and then that And then the apology that the company has to make, we realized, we said that we were lion friendly.

Friendly and produced. Now the children, just the whole fucking. And you're like, and we are. We never said that we were nice to children. We said we were nice to lions. So technically we weren't lions. So technically, fuck your lawsuit. We weren't lions.

Hey. So technically, fuck your lawsuit. All right, lawsuit We weren't lying Hey So technically Fuck your lawsuit Alright now we're gonna Let's get out of here Alright let's hear what you guys think Really? You wanna talk to me? Wow that's cool

Alright Joseph Hey Our first email Is coming from our daughter Kelly Okay what does it say? Well first I wanna give her a... Hey, daddies. Hi.

I was just listening to episode 45. 45, where you were... The band is Cornerstone. Yes, it is. And then I remember people were saying Fatboy Slim, which he did a remake of it. Like a dance version. My buddy texted me after he got back to me after the show, and I forgot to you that he told me he saw them with oasis in 98 fuck yeah you know anyway my husband is a carpenter and the company he works for builds and remodels a lot of schools he likes

to bring home items he thinks will be useful one time he brought home an old set of lockers oh my god that's funny uh how many people can say they have these kind of guilty for their kids or something you know that's great keep their shit out of the way they were kind of useful but a bit of an eyesore sitting outside oh no weaned against the oak there there have been many other items he's drug home over the years but the uh how come nevermind but the most ridiculous was an old used urinal from a boy's bathroom i asked him what in the hell are you gonna do with that thing he promptly replied install in the corner of the garage of course oh my god why do you even have to ask such a guy

thing i know mind you our garage only fits one car and he's never held a uh it's never and has never held a car because of all the crap someone collects. I asked where he was going to plumb it out to. Outside, he said. Insert giant eye roll from me. Needless to say, my lovely husband got around to installing his dream urinal. So there that monstrosity sat under a 60-foot pine tree in our front yard for several years my only saving grace is that we lived on a flag flag lot a flag lot so nobody sees our yard unless they come to our house

i still protest about it often love the show keep them rolling your loving daughter kelly i just saw a story that i was maybe gonna bring but I didn't, about this woman that lives in this place where these people are shitting into buckets. Okay. And they're like just dumping in their lawns. And then when it rains or whatever, it comes down. Just washes it in. Yeah. And like she can smell it.

She's been sick and all that. Yeah. And I just imagine this guy doing the same thing, just like pissing in his garage urinal. Yeah. But there's a leak in the ceiling. Yeah. So whenever it rains, it drips out of the garage roof and flush his garage urinal and yeah but there's a leak in the ceiling yeah so whenever it rains it drips out of the garage roof and flushes his urinal just smells of fucking piss oh man yeah babe i really think this this urinal ties the yard together so i have a couple sits

under the tree i have a couple thoughts the dog pees in it? My first thought is, you know how I feel about public, you know, pooping and like just public bathrooms disgust me. But at the same time, having something like that sounds pretty fucking cool. I know. To be able to be like outside or whatever and just be like, instead of peeing in a tree, it'll be fun to pee in a urinal outside because i love pissing outside yeah if you have a man cave you just have a urinal yeah off to the side i would have to scrub and disinfect the shit out of that thing literally but that's funny but once it's all set up set up it's like it's pretty fucking cool pretty cool oh but i get it i know both things he said i was like i could see me being in a state of mind to take both those things and i picture like no reason imagine like when you walk if you did this correctly like you walk into a house and you've got like your area where yeah so and they

painted them really nice so it like fit with the house your kids walk in they open up their locker they put their shoes their coat and their school bag into the locker like that's pretty fucking cool how loud they are they stick but it's they make the little balance the bottom half but it's if you can make the aesthetic work with your house that'd be pretty cool little entryway right i think you're right um but i wouldn't leave him out in the front yard it was apparently where he left him yeah i Yeah, I'd have to go somewhere else Or you could use it for a gun Gun locker Put a padlock on it

Yeah, you have a turn padlock 35, back to 11 You forget your code The guy's like, hold on, one second Please, come on, don't be a bitch He's over there running with his bolt cutters Trying to cut this thing off The guy's got a gun on you He's like, don't be a bitch Let me get there running with his bolt cutters Trying to cut this thing off Guys, intruder's got a gun on you

He's like, don't be a bitch Let me get my gun first, at least Come on Let me bring a gun to a gun fight Yeah, don't make me look like an idiot God damn it Can't fucking remember it Alright, so let's read our second email

For this week Coming in from our art appreciating son jack hey dads as i said with teen angst hey dads i have three feet three things whatever first i also loathe jam bands yes i thought he said i was reading i thought it said james bond i fucking hate james bond like i don't remember talking about james, but cool. About that. Hate jam bands. However, the only reason I passed my algebra class in 10th grade, I think I had a 35 average. Is that good? Fuck, Jag. Was by giving the teacher widespread panic tickets that I won on the radio.

This is the only algebra class I ever passed, though he only gave me a C. Hey, you passed. He's human too, you know? He's like, oh, thank you, and this won't affect your grade. Yeah, let me give you an A. That's going to be suspicious. Second, I had a friend who was incredibly into the insane clown posse and was a hardcore juggalo. He bought us tickets to see ICP along with Coolio and Kitty.

Oh, my God. Whereas the music isn't much to be desired about at the concert, it was probably the most fun i've ever had at a concert yeah they had giant guns that shot fago at the crowd you know what that is the pop they have a they shoot pop into the crowd like drink pop yeah like this is called fago uh they apparently even switched to diet fago so it wouldn't leave them sticky i'm telling you what the best thing i saw was the guy in a wheelchair get slammed in the face with a two liter bottle of fago oh my god that they shook up and shot off the stage and it hit him so hard uh he put him in a wheelchair yeah he and his wheelchair fell over and i was like oh shit is something gonna help that guy he got up and stood

up the best he could and cheered like it was the best moment of his fucking life. That's awesome. I've been to two more ICP shows since then, and I would definitely go again. I bet. I mean, I've never seen them live, but I've watched it. I've seen videos of them live. And yeah, they put on a fucking show. That's what they do. Incredible entertainers. Lastly, who is your favorite musician who only plays the snare drum

and possibly the table it's sitting on why it's uh recent is it what ryosuke kiyasu i love how he said why it's like why it's yeah yeah he's been doing this for years and has an active fan base he must be touring too because his videos from a couple days ago i watched this and i mean i get art and art whatever you want to go see some weird shit it's not all going to be well structured and it's going to be just new ideas but you can go ahead and click click on that video over there I wish we could show each other fucking videos yeah hopefully soon Zach put on the fucking screen for the good old times

are you watching it? Okay, turn it up. Let's see. Look at all the people looking at him. Intently like, oh my. What is he using in his left hand? Is it another drum stick? Oh, it was a microphone.

Oh yeah, that's right. I remember that. Now there's a New Balance shoe on the drum He's just rubbing a shoe I think it's his shoe He's just rubbing it on the drums Look at the guy in the white coat, he's going like this He's bobbing his head to the beat

Okay, that's enough, I think You get the idea But if you want to look that up You can R-Y-O-S-U-K-E And just put snare drum. Copenhagen, Denmark. He's on tour, baby.

What the fuck is he doing? Same thing he was doing in the last video. Dude, he's thrashing the shit out of us. Just slapping it around. Everyone's like, mm-hmm. So people pay tickets to go see this? Yeah. Or do they just wander in what appears to be a workshop of some sort?

I have a hard time believing that he's found a record label. So I'm guessing they pay, or like art installations pay to have them show up oh right yeah that's something that makes sense off the rails a little bit an art show like a room dedicated to that yeah something like that interesting yeah so anyway we'll close it out says i'm happy this email was long read it all read it hard and smell your finger after your bloated corpse of a son, Jackie. Bloated corpse of a son. Jackie? Like Jackie Chan.

Yeah, Jackie. That's the only other Jackie I've known that was a dude. I've known a couple throughout my journeys. All right, guys. Well, that was episode 47. Had a lot of fun. Have a touch of Black Men's Radio, boy. Be sure to be part of the gaggle.

Support us. Patreon.com slash Can you know podcast my mouth is having a hard time making like hard syllables today yeah am i having a stroke stroke of genius hey be sure to follow us instagram and facebook subscribe to our youtube channel if something you want to see on the show email that to hey guys at can you don't podcast.com and we are on the very tail end of getting the store figured out with some new merch uh that's hopefully will be figured out by the time this episode comes out hopefully we just have to it has to be let go uh from a hostage situation and it'll be ready to go thanks to the babysitters for running the facebook page love that and thank you to everybody do the reviews because that definitely helps us out are you ready i have a joke i'm chances you heard it but i'm

gonna try good god wrap it up already huh this is one of my all-time favorite ones i hope you haven't heard it but if you have there's gotta be someone out there that hasn't what do you call a man with a rubber toe oh well roberto yeah i didn't know the answer but the way you read it i i heard roberto in it a little bit yeah man the rubber toe you said it really fast like you thought maybe i was gonna get it and then so you said it fast what do you call a man what do you call a man with a rubber dope you're like roberto damn it with a nice god or uh what did you just say did you say ice pick yeah well i was like one of those things where you that you know the uh the answer before the person so you try to jump Like, how was this guy murdered? Ice pick. Yeah.

I know. It's got to be your bowl. What do you call a man with a... And you're like, Roberto. Fuck. God damn it. Just kill the fun. All right, all you silly geese.

We'll keep going, kids. We'll see you guys next week. Bye. Bye. Bye. Outro Music