Can You Don't? - Can You Don't? | Finger Skin. Sippy Cup. Megalodon. Pantera.

Episode Date: September 16, 2026

We all have our own opinions about the pumpkin spice craze, but walking around the store and yelling about it isn't the proper way to express it. Let's talk about that, some more cute animals that have a spinal deformity like Jimothy, accidentally reading an AI prompt while giving a government speech, foreskin on all your fingers, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://www.patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast ***New Episodes every Wednesday at 12pm PSTWatch this episode YouTube: https://youtu.be/AuWmQR20aVsSend in segment content: [e-mail]: http://canyoudontpodcast.comMerch Inquires: [e-mail]: http://facebook.com/canyoudontpodcastIG: http://instagram.com/canyoudontpodcastYouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wyt5rtOfficial Website: http://canyoudontpodcast.comCustom Music Beds by Zach CohenFan Mail:Can You Don't?PO Box 1062Coeur d'Alene, ID 83816Hugs and tugs.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Finger skin. Sippy Cup. Megalodon. Pantara. You guys think that we'll say anything offensive this week? Nope. No? No. No? You don't think so? We usually don't. No. Never once. Episode 2-2-2. All 2s.

Look at your mouth when you do that. The 2-2-2-2. 2-2-2. 2-2. 2-2. That sucks. I don't care for that. It's also kind of offensive if you want it to be. You know what I mean?

Anything can be offensive if you want it to be. Yeah. Tell that to send all your content suggestions in, including stuff for penny beef. The email address is, hey guys at can you know podcast.com. Once again, you guys have been sending in some absolutely glorious confessions. And we're collecting, and we'll have one coming your way soon. Head on over and support us on Patreon. Patreon.com slash can you don't podcast.

It's how you get the additional content at the end of each and every episode. episode. We call that the bonus. The boners. Super original. Bonas. Yeah. The Honk edition. We really,

really dug deep to come up with a name for it. Like, what do we call, like the stuff of a, but I guess it is called the honk edition. Yeah, that's something. Yeah,

that's something. Okay. I thought we did a really good job of branding. Yeah. Fuck yeah. And then, uh, reminder,

you can also gift a Patreon subscription. So if you know somebody and you're like, listen, you've got to get in here. Christmas is coming up. There is. Fuck, it is. Oh, man.

You go to a grocery store. Yep. Yep. We're working our way through the honkathon. We might have to, or we might be adding a new goal soon.

We had a, we're having some conversations. I'm actually going to talk to a, a listener, one of our kids. It could be pretty fast. That has a pretty insane opportunity that we might fucking take advantage of.

It's not a hot air balloon. But I wish it was. It's not. It could be. My wife's higher and higher. My wife's if we do that, I have to take out an extra large life insurance policy. I don't know.

She'd be fine. He loves you. No, she just wants to be secure. Yeah, if she's going to be sad, she wants some money about it. If she liked me, she would say, I don't want you to go on it because I love you so much and I want you to die. She goes, I think it's really funny, but beforehand. She's like, oh, I mean, I don't care if you go on it. You can die.

I just need to be compensated if you do die. Do die. That's all. All right, well, that's it for the setup. up. That's it. Let's just get into the show. Okay. All right. Zapp, please. Shut up. Start the show already.

All right. What do we got here? What are we looking at? Oh, I was looking at the last... The what? I was looking at the honkathon thing still, so I need to move forward. Yeah. Because this show's scripted. Right, yeah. Everything we say. All right. You ready? Get in this son, bitch?

I'm ready. All right. This came from our son, Adam. Okay? I don't know him from Eve, though. Okay. Could be stupid, Joe. Let me try. Let's just...

Hey, daddies, and Uncle Zachiku. I wonder if that's supposed to be Zaki Pooh, but it's a Q. But in Spanish, that would be Ke? A ke. Zaki Q? Zaki Q. I'm pretty okay. Would you rather your fingers have four skins?

Hmm. Or your tear ducts act like a clitoris. What? Clitoris. Do you say clitoris or clitoris? It depends on if I'm talking about the dinosaur or the female anatomy. Yeah. But my favorite dinosaur is definitely the clitoris.

Yeah. Clitoris Rex. But if I'm going down, now we're going to clitoris. It's a certain thing. I use it both ways, I think, now that you've said that. Yeah. Clitoris. That's why we all just like, how about we just stop at clit?

Yeah. Yeah. Look, that's cool. Like a good nickname. Yeah, clit Eastwood. Or whatever. Thanks, Adam. This is great.

This is tough. I don't have... I'm not an owner of either items. Like, I don't have them. I don't have... Oh, you still don't have your foreskin, you mean? I don't have foreskin, and I don't have a clitoris. Clitorororris.

A clitorororororororor. It's trying to start that thing. you know. Click it to, Taurus. Sometimes it feels like you have to do, you know. You got to, it's,

especially if you have foreskin fingers, dude. You got to find the fucker first. Yeah. You got to dig deep. And I think we've covered this. We don't have, none of us have four skin.

Right? Right. Correct. We're all, we took the sweater off. Whether we wanted it or not, the, our parents were like,

you're not wearing this. Turtle neck. You're not wearing this. this outside, but, like, right out the gate, like, hate this accessory. Like, I was born mid-April, so it was, you know, the transition in spring, you know, too warm. Too warm. You're in August, man.

You're in the dog. No wonder they desheathed it. That's what it's called, right? De-sheathing. Sure, is that a thing? That's what I asked the doctor. It's like, so where do I get this thing, disheathed? That's a biblical term, I think.

De-sheathed? Okay. Sure. I didn't even. I didn't even know I was making real words, but my brain cells were like, this is a thing. All right. So,

four skin fingers, I wish I had a friend with just a fucking turtleneck dick. I could just get it out and just take a peek. So I don't know a whole lot about what's going on in there. I know that you have to clean it. I know you have to pull it back. I know that when you get hard, there's like a little bump,

like a sack of skin at the base of your dick. I've seen porn. It's not a good. it's not my favorite look like it's you've never seen it on the red carpet like no one's inviting a giant just

uncircumcised penis to just walk about when you draw a penis when people draw dicks they never draw a penis with foreskin god you wouldn't recognize it

no he'd be like what is that is that like a fucking sea creature yeah it doesn't look like anything it just looks like a problem it looks like the Mongolian deathworm from last week yeah what is that what is that sea cucumber yeah that's it's what it looks like it's like oh cool you drew a sea cucumber I wanted you to draw it dick

yeah no one draws that that's a good point yeah how come you've never brought that to the table before well we haven't really talked about dicks uh uncircumcised dicks very much that's true at least we won't offend anybody this time yeah right I just like right now someone out there maybe has an uncircumcised penis

and they're doing something with it doing a little trick right now what is it can you hide stuff in there like marbles I don't know I mean goes in the end I've always heard from people that

I'm gonna take a piece the whole thing about it being more like sex being more pleasurable and stuff yeah because you're wearing a skin you're wearing a fucking dry suit imagine yeah imagine that you you were you lived your whole life

wearing a dry suit. As you were going surfing or a wetsuit. And then all of a sudden you took it off, it's like any touch. You're like, woo-hoo. Wow! Because you're just used to Wow, oh-ee. Yeah, you just used to always

wearing a little sweatshirt sleeve. Now you can't even wear jeans. Cool, yeah, cool tricks with foreskin. Jail. Cool tricks. Watch what I can do with my hood. Yeah, there's going to be something. There are no safe for

Practical physical tricks to perform with the four skin. Holy really. Okay, AI. I'll go to videos. Thanks for stopping me. I bet you're red gift that has a different. Unbelievable party trick. Forskinned around a schooner glass.

Schooner? Yeah. They're the big, like, beer things. What? That is an unbelievable party trick, dude. It's unbelievable. I can't believe AI. He was like, nope.

No fun tricks. Well, where did you get that answer from? I'm just looking at titles of different videos right now. This man can put a phone in his foreskin. That's a good party trick. So, I guess when I... Where's the call coming from? Hey, grandma.

Guess where I'm calling from? Oh, no. The depths of the skin. Your five skin deep in my foreskin. It basically, I was hoping that it would turn into some sort of travel companion. Like you can just put stuff in there. Do you have your passport? Yeah, one second.

Do you still want to take a look at it? Do you think it bounces back like the butthole? Yeah. No. I feel like that could get stretched. Skin is, I mean, it's kind of like a push can get stretched. Just think about us getting bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller. Skin can do it.

Yeah. I think you can stretch out your foreskin so you can give yourself a hood again. I think that's a possible thing. Oh, what? I think so. I don't know if that's true. Shovelcock. We have to do this again?

Hold on. Four skin play. I'm on the four skin back. So you have to train it. Four skin play by hands and tongue until I come in mouth. Do you ever get... Step daddy tit, fuck. Have you ever gotten to a pool or a lake and it's really cold and you get out?

And not only is it like shriveled up, but it's like it's, it has done the thing where the skin's cover over the top of it and it kind of looks like an uncircumcernicited. I never had that. I've had that happen before. You can't see my screen, right? Nope. Okay. Just give me a sec here.

Okay I can see it though And that's fine Oh what is I guess don't care for this Brian does not like to be left out I don't like I don't like it

Oh yeah Look at That's what I'm like That's what I'm looking at What's this I don't know guys And I've and I've read And I've read stories

That like women don't care Oh Fucking god damn it I did not have watching dudes jerk off on my bingo card today, dude. I did not have that on there. All right. There it is, though.

Now I see why they get rid of it. It's center square. If you have foreskin, we still love you. But, goof, it is weird to look at. I don't care for it. It's natural, motherfucker. Back to the question, I know. Would you rather have fingers that have foreskin?

Ooh, that sucks. That's going to be like a really a pain of the butt. you got to pull it back just to dial on your phone. To bite your fingernails. You have to pull it back to pick up a quarter. It's kind of like wearing gloves that

like if you're wearing gloves that are too big and you know what I mean? Like there's a little bit of extra at the end of a glove and when you go to bite it just bends. Oh yeah. Like you go to grip. I don't know like I'm thinking of a golf club

and then but it's just always sliding around in your hands because the skins loose. Well, you wouldn't be able to use your nail. So imagine picking up, yeah, like a quarter or something like that where you need to get leverage. You just couldn't do it. I guess picture going into like a nail salon. And you're just like, what color do you want? You're like the blue one and you sit down and just peel your foreskin back. They're going to kick you out. They're going to want a little bit of extra tip. They're just going to say no. You'll be the first person they will not take money from.

and the whole time they're just gagging and you can understand what they're saying because gags are just universal so you don't have to speak Thai or Chinese or whatever language is what they would all be speaking just holding it in their mouth spitting the puk into the little

like the foot bath bucket you're like sorry you okay I'm okay. Okay, hate it. Tearducks act like clitoris. Clitoris. I don't have any, I have hands-on experience with clitoris,

citoris ice. Clitirai. Clitari. Clitirai. That sounds like a carnival ride. Do you guys start writing? Did you guys start writing? No, it was packed.

We couldn't find it. Yeah. All right. Still got it. It took forever to ride, too. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. We just kept going and going and going.

And it started squeaking. He just couldn't get it lubed up. Oh, yeah. Just an old rusty clitori, dude. Wake it up! WD40, that clutori. All right. So I don't...

So it feel good, right? I mean, because I just it's my eye. And the idea... You know, like, if you have an itch or something, you scratch it kind of feels good? Yeah. But I'm imagining like if you're, let's say you're out, you have like allergies and your eyes are really itchy and you're just constantly having itch your eyes. And even that kind of feels good sometimes like when you're, uh, but if it felt really good.

So you're just like sitting around. You're like, oh God. Like imagine just going to itch your eye and it's like the only person that's pumped for allergy season. Imagine like. You can't wait for dandelions. Imagine how a woman feels when they put like the magic wand right on there and that initial like. Oh my God. And you just get to do that by itching your eyes.

Just in a meeting. Just doing that. I mean, and that's dicks too. But like, think about scratching your dick. And I know clits are more sensitive. Right. Than a penis. But like, you don't get that turn.

If you just have to itch your parts and you're not trying to do it. Yeah. You just do it and carry on. Yeah. Plus, I don't know if I want. Like, do I, so I still get to keep. my my my my penis my penis

your penis fuck Ezra is back in that pepper too like they'll just walk around and they just go penis like just like being funny dumb kids and I just go penis so now Ezra just goes

Venus and you make me laugh and I can't make you stop Venus you're basically an adult Diabenus Diabinus I've got diabetes

I've got diabetes but but I get to keep it and just have to clitorize on my eyeballs. Do they cry? Do they do my clits cry?

Squirt? Yeah, that feels like a way out, but clits don't squirt. I'm just, you know what I mean? Making the connection. So I don't, like, what am I doing up there? I can't cry, just get turned on? No. I just don't know what they're doing there.

I think the only time, I mean, if you it's your eye, you feel it is, but if it's just, I don't know. And it says act like a clitoris. Itching your eye already feels kind of good. That's what I'm saying. It already does. So it would be amplified. Just in bed watching me do this for an hour. Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God. Oh, wait. Oh, fuck. I'm gonna come. I'm gonna fucking come. I'm gonna fucking come. I'm gonna fucking come. Yeah, that sucks.

Well, in that, I mean, we're so used to our privates being our privates. Imagine anything else being your private. if your elbow is what you got turned on. You're like, it's like, good one. Just pinch. Every time you pick your nose. Oh, fuck. Oh, my God.

Yeah. I don't know about it. I think I would have picked the clit eye. I would, too. I don't know what the drawback is. The force, yeah, just like, it says acts like you don't have like a little mini penis bump head on the inside of your eyes, just acting like it.

So now you just win. just have another way to pleasure yourself. Foreskin fingers is a... Yeah, there's really no downside to that, is there? Oh, you fucking... God, I hate it. Shaking someone's hand? And like, you're like, oh, sorry.

And you're like, sorry, you can just roll your fingers skin back on? Nice to meet you, is it? Whoa! Whoa! Just fucking gross. What if... What if it was... What if your fingers acted like a...

a penis though like they got longer and they came out of so because we're just we're pulling the skin back but yeah we are we've done penis fingers before and it would you rather not we've done penis fingers yeah but not with four skin it's fair this is a whole other animal this is fun the last time we talked about it they were snipped that's right i don't like looking at any of this this is close don't bring up my computer yet no i won't i'm getting closer ladies this isn't quite it but we're We're going to try, just to get us on track here. Oh, wow. The skin over, no fingernails.

You could commit crimes. Easier. Yeah, because, like, they're trying, like, sir, we have to do your fingerprints. They run out of ink. It's just so much they have to print. Yeah, holy shit. Actually curse. Disturbing, but cool.

Is it? I hate it. Ladies or gents who enjoy the penis, NFC, and the peonye. Showing this, because it looks like someone making a vase. go ahead this is just a pottery class this is from the movie ghost

yeah that's Patrick Swayze dude and you know you know dudes so they're just fucking around with this thing all the time dude you were right with the marbles for sure

some marbles in there basket some pods back in the 80s yeah things you can hide in your foreskin I just wish I had more experience with it, you know. Leave your experiences in the comments below.

AI again! You cannot practically or safely hide objects inside the forest skin. Wrong! Let's take a look at the pictures. Yep. Fuck! Love it. You can hide peas. You can put whatever you want. Keys?

Peas. Oh. Yeah, just put like a tree, like some cheese it's in there. You're hiding peas from somebody, so you're worried about someone taking your peas? We just want a little treat. later. Oh, saving like some mashed potatoes in your foreskin and then later just caulking it out. God, I want to talk.

Okay, crazy dudes out there. Hey, guys at can you know podcast.com. What are you guys doing? I bet it's still be warm. With the email? The potatoes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, see, it's a built-in warmer.

Dude, this is great. You can hide other dicks in it. I've seen that. Docking. You heard of it. All right. Let us know if you've done anything cool like that. And people who enjoy the penis, how do you feel about it versus the other?

If you've encountered one versus the other. Yeah. What have you noticed? Or is it more about the thing that's attached to it? Yeah. I imagine women, I mean, women are pretty good about just not caring. Yeah. What adds a little girth, I think, you know?

Oh, so it's cheating. Yeah, you get a little extra around. Well, it's not cheating because it's natural. I know, but that's not funny. That's why I said it was cheating. It's funnier to get mad about it. It's got to be like, what, a millimeter? It can be very bad to go a long ways.

God. And then thinking about condoms? Is that a problem? Like putting a condom on a uncircumcised penai? I hadn't considered that. And then as you get harder, the skin, where does the condom go? Are you constantly adjusting it? No, though.

It just, as the weaner gets hard, the skin just comes back. Yeah, but a condom, where's the condom just going to, because it's made to stay in place? Well, I imagine you. Is it holding the skin up with it? I imagine the wiener's hard before you put it on. You've had sex. Yeah. But I've never.

Sometimes you're not always rock hard. Not rock hard, but I've never been soft and put on a. Yeah, you'll stick the gummy worm in and it'll wake up. Push that rope. You snake it in. And it's like, I like that. and then all your thoughts disappear and all of a sudden you have a boner. Get out of your head.

Oh, yeah. All right. You guys picking clit eyes? Yeah, for sure. Clint eyes. I don't know what the drawback is. Quit eyes. Ben,

what's his name? Clint eyes. What was his name? Ben Stein. Ben Stein. For clear eyes, you need Clint eyes. If you've got Clint eyes. All right.

Oh shit. Wrong one. All rise. For the golden geese. The sofa king. Daniel Akha. Stephen Grr. Matthew Leonard.

Dazenheim. Hidnath. Kelly Gagey. EM3. Jason Clayson. Jordan. Christmas. Neil.

I was just going to say Neil Holiday. Neil Dufferty. No. Thank you. That's our golden goose tier. You guys are awesome. We appreciate it. Kelly made note.

So she's in for one month. By the time this one comes out, she might be getting out of here. Or maybe she likes it. I hope she sticks around. She's like, fucking, say my name. I like it so much when you say my name. Say my name. Let's do it.

Let's get out of here. Next thing, Zach. Hey. Hey, what's up, babe? What are you thinking about? You know, nothing. Actually, you know what? I'm thinking about a lot of shit.

What are you thinking about? What are you thinking about? What we're thinking about a lot of stuff? Um. What the fuck? Have we got a... What the f? Will you please be so kind?

Who is this? Hello? Hello? Were you expecting a call? Yeah. From who? Holy shit. Is that what?

Did he call me from prison? Just hang up. All right, yeah. Bye, Joseph. Thanks, whoever called. Joseph. It's Joseph Morrow. Yeah. Right. Yeah. He's great.

Is he called from prison? Yeah. That's the last week. I think we talked about him. That was the other Joseph Morrow. We don't know. We don't know. We don't know if the picture on YouTube is actually him or the article. But it's been a couple of years. See, I'm glad he's doing well. Sounds like he's doing well on the drums. Fuck that drum film.

Is he ever going, I wonder if he'll ever re-record those. If he doesn't, we should. Sux-Sonic. He'll fucking sue. Come on. We'll do something funny like that. He'll sue us into the ground and we'll lose everything. Yeah, we'll lose everything.

He'll take over the show. He'll start his own podcast. Worth it. With all of our equipment. Actually, sure. Yeah, then we sue him back. God, it'd be great. Be a great podcast.

All right, let's move off of this. What are you thinking about? And it is the, it is. Excuse me. Tis the season for this particular thing. And we all know what it is. It's finally back. everywhere.

Oh, is a McRiback? Not yet. Cool your jets, Bucco. Pumpkin spice. Ah, yeah. Okay? Yep. So, I know Starbucks is doing it.

Everybody loves it. And if you've ever tried it, you know that there is at least something out there in the pumpkin spice realm that you're like, this is pretty cool. And it is, it's like a very welcoming thing into the fall season. And it seems like, just like decorations and grocery stores, the pumpkin spice keeps showing up a little bit earlier from year to year. So I get it, and you can let it get at you. You can, you're not, you know, I don't care for it.

You know what I mean? I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. It's not for you. It's not for you. Oh, my God. You just don't care for it.

And I was in the grocery store. Don't worry, it was safe. It was the safest way. It was the safest way. I couldn't have been in a more safe place. You could have taken a couple directions. I could have gone to an unsafe way and I went to the safe one, the safest way. And I was walking around doing a little shopping.

I had the kids this past week. And so I don't, like, I buy stuff to make myself food and lunches, but not nearly the amount that you need to feed the farm that is teenage kids. You're like, they will, fucking, it blows my mind. if I let Ezra, he would have 17 cheeseburgers and still look like a little slender man. Slender man. Like he just, it's just where he's at right now.

It's just chomp, chomp, chomp. It'll eat the whole fucking kitchen. So I'm shopping, walking around. I hear just like a disgruntled something going on in the other aisle. And I'm just, I'm hearing him. I'm looking at biscuits. And this guy and his wife are just walking around.

And it's his voice. I can tell from the tone. but I don't know what he was saying. They walk around the corner. And he goes, see? And I'm like, I want to see.

I want to see too. What's he looking at? I want to see. I want to see. So I turn. And he goes, look, pumpkin spice. And she's like,

mm-hmm. And he goes, unbelievable. And I'm like, what? And he's like just, and he walks a little bit further. And he goes,

look, more pumpkin spice. And it's like that, you want an audience. And I'm just standing there. Like picking out like some fucking ritz crackers. I'm like looking at them. I was like, I wish I had pumpkin spice ritz.

Yeah. Give that a world. Go for a pumpkin spice ritz. And they don't come down my aisle. They just keep walking forward. So I've just seen like a literal snapshot into what their shopping experience has been so far. It was like aisle 13 and I just got the view. And I saw two of them.

And as they walk around the corner, then he starts becoming unaudible. But now I know what he's talking about. You just see his arngo? pointing to everything. So now I know that he's just, for whatever reason, whatever discussion has happened between him and his wife, he has now been declared as the call out the pumpkin spice and the grocery store guy.

And that's what he's doing. He's not doing anything else. And so now I hear him further down, I hear, and I'm like, he's more pumpkin spice. And I wanted to follow him around and just go every time he pointed it out, like, thank you, and put it in my cart. And just wait for him. Oh, thanks.

I was looking for that. I was looking for pumpkin spice. and flicks. Yeah, pumpkin spice, Pop-Tarts. What's next? But he was so upset. Looking for pumpkin spice

with a dick in my butt! What's next? Pumpkin spice dicks in my butt? That's actually probably be pretty cool. Now with protein. Yeah, we're them pumpkin spice

fucking Trojans. Yeah. That's how you really get. Edible. Edible Trojians. Problem. Hmm? Tasty.

But edible condom. That's gonna that's gonna be a problem. It's so good. She just eats the tip off and you're like, God damn it. Well, now you don't have a...

Now you have a pumpkin spice baby. Oh, yeah. That's funny. With extra protein. You get to paint your belly like a pumpkin this year. Congratulations. You ate the pumpkin spice.

Yay. Condom. So he's just walking around. I can hear them. They have like, not the worst cart, but one that you can hear. So it's like,

like the front wheel is doing this thing. You've seen it. Oh, yeah. It just goes like this and then it spins really slow and then catches on again. It's like and I can see your hand going like you're going like, you're going. You guys are a fucking show right now. How long do you think, do you think he was at home?

I don't know where it started. And he's just like, honey, let's go to the store. We need to grab a couple of things for, you know, we're going to watch the Seahawks this Wednesday, whatever it is. And he's like, oh, yeah, you get some beers like, oh, fucking Pumpkin Spice Bushlight

I bet you they have that And she's like Okay And then in the car He's like watch What's the game on tonight Fucking NBC Pumpkin Spice Pumpkin Spice TV

It's like Why do you hate it The Utah Pumpkin Spicers Who are playing tonight Oh fucking this Pumpkin Spice Arena She's like just sign the papers

You said you wouldn't bring it up Ron Yeah please Not again I'm sorry so sick of this. Please just sign the papers so I can move on. Oh, I don't have a pumpkin spice pan. Oh, I want you to ask your

Pumpkin Spice lawyer. I got pumpkin spice on my divorce papers. Scratch and snoop. He's Pumpkin spice and forest papers? Fucking something, dude. God! You always get this way this time of year.

You always get this way this time of year. God. But he was like a He was a huge dude. Yeah. Like, like, Zach. Yeah. Just a, like some monster man.

But probably, like, could eat all of us. This is like I could easily probably say 300, 6'5. And just, like, booming voice. Oh, yeah. Pumpkin's spots. Yeah. That's really, really carries. Oh, great.

More pumpkin spice. Jesus Christ. Always something. And everyone's like, was this guy have a gun? What is he? He said,

what if he did that? Look, another pumpkin spice. He's just like shooting the canister of cool whip pumpkin spice? No more pumpkin spice. Fucking hate it.

Oh, calm down. I'm not going to hurt anybody. Oh, what you call the pumpkin spice, please. Here comes the fucking pumpkin spice swat team. Looks like I'm in

pumpkin spice trouble. Hope I don't. Spice kill myself. Good thing. These bullets are pumpkin spice scented. Just like, who is this madman? I just try not to get just so upset about stuff like that. The car ride home was probably awesome, too.

You promised. But, you know, he's probably like that with everything. So it's not out of the ordinary. You know, like he's, it's everything. It's one thing to be upset about Halloween decorations that coming out too early, right? Yeah. That's a whole thing. Just one of those. And I get it. It's kind of a shock. You're like, whoa, like, just give me a second.

I'll have to worry about that right now. Imagine going in there and just like, bomb, like smashing everything off the counters. Yeah, a skeleton. He's like standing there. He's like, he's like, grabs it and throws it into the aisle. Too early. Too soon. We're not even over

pumpkin spice yet. Was it a, is this pumpkin spice skeleton? That's how you acted with the shamrock shake. Exactly. Fuck, only thing I care about is the McRib. And he goes to get it, it's a pumpkin-s-mice-mic-Rib. Oh, God.

What's next? The only thing I look forward to every year, Shamrock's saying, fucking pump and spice McRib. I just visualized, like, him, like, her running into a friend at the store or something, too. You know, they're, like, sitting and have a conversation. He looks at his cart. Standing in the aisle. Oh. You see, is Gary doing it again?

Yeah. He's spiraling out of control. He's just spinning in the frozen TV dinner aisle. Fuck! Why'd you bring him? I don't know. I didn't know the pumpkin spice would be out. I didn't want to leave him home alone.

Didn't always be out already. He's just fucking screaming and running around. It's this huge guy. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Too soon. They go through the aisle. Oh. Dom.

No. Rune it. Ruin it. Ruin it. Every restaurant he goes to. He says, I'm allergic to pumpkin spice. Is that a problem?

That's fine, dude. What? He's the guy. You know, your wife calls us and warned us. You're coming.

He likes everything. Is it the original the original flavor? Yeah. Like sunflower seeds. The original are my favorite. But it's funny, the idea of like,

because like, dill pickles, all the rage and stuff. Like pumpkin spice, Sunflow. seeds. Just don't buy it. Just don't buy it.

It's just fucking... It's kind of like if we say something you don't like on our show, you know what? Just skip. Go ahead and tap that button. You'd be like, you know, these guys aren't talking about something I like. Maybe I shouldn't make a huge fuss about it. Move along. All right.

Off to Dick. Snack! Is it dumb trusting? And it's dick. Burt. We're all aware of AI. It just story cracks me up. And probably because I have to use a lot of AI in my life, right?

And it's not just for creating funny videos or pictures or whatever it is. Or songs, obviously. But for just like, for stories, for emails. I'm working in sales. And it is like one of those tools that literally saves you four hours a day by using chat GBT or whatever it is, to construct an email about something that you're going to say almost the same way every time to a different company as you're, like, because you do care, you want to build their brand, you're not just trying to take their money. So you're trying to make a relationship.

And it saves so much time just to be like, okay, you know what we did here? Do it again. But make it out to this person and give me all the details about this company and then tie it into what, like what our radio station is doing. And it's like, okay, give me a second, a literal second. He just goes, you're like, thank you. Print. I had to write a job description the other day. I was like, what am I good at? I was like, write me a job description.

It was like with these details. And it pumps out this thing. It was like professionally written. I'm like, that's sweet. Can you make it dumber? I've done that too. Yeah, like I wouldn't. I would never have thought that.

Those are your, can you make, can you write it like an idiot? It's like, no problem. Oh, so you mean in your, in your tone? Pretend I'm seven. pretend I'm seven because that's what I do and it's like you got it hello Mr. Businessman I like your suit business boy

I am a real boy I am a real boy business let's discuss business together I have a suit in the closet buy should I make it more professional no no just send it so Canadian politician

reads AI chatbot prompt allowed in legislature Oops. Okay, so when you tell it to do stuff, when you're, especially when you're fucking with chat, GBT, if you're correcting it, it always writes a little blurb first where it's like, wow, great job business, boy. Right? It's like, that's a great point, business, man. I'm sounding ridiculously smart, and you are dumb. And it puts that, and then it writes your email or whatever. And this poor guy, we're just like, dude, that's sick. And just, copied it or someone worked with them and put it and he just brought it into the legislature. And this is so funny. Here you go. Bill Oliver, a progressive conservative member of the Legislative Assembly in New Brunswick.

Progressive conservative? Thank you. Things are different up there. They've gotten politicized differently. Was addressing a matter involving the office of the New Brunswick advocate last month? I don't know what any of that is. Nope. That's a Canadian thing.

Mm-hmm. So, Mr. Oliver, business boy, stands up there and opens his speech and says, public confidence in the office of an advocate matters. Great start. Okay. And he goes, he's standing there. This is a real man. He's a real boy.

He's a real boy. And he's standing there. Then he goes, here's a more natural flowing version of that section that reads like a legislative speech rather than a series of short points. I damn it Do you think he As he was reading that Realized it I don't know if he knows where he is

No He looks kind of old And he trusted whoever Whoever told him Just read it verbatim There's go And he's like Does he have a whistle

When he talks? Yeah sure He's got that little Little gap down there Yeah sure It is Could have used chat GBT To fix that though too

I'm not trying to be mean Yeah But he could have. I think Photoshop would have touched that up too. Yeah, but if you don't know Photoshop, just head on over there. I imagine someone in the business. I imagine someone could have helped him out of business. But standing up there in your business suit, in your business shoes.

Here's a more natural flowing version of that section that reads like a legislative speech rather than a series of short points. Would you like me to make this more professional? God. Have you seen pictures of Yellowstone National Park, Bill? Footage of the moment was posted to the New Brunswick subreddit this week, quickly drawing attention from users unimpressed. Come on. Do we have footage of it?

But does it sound like a series of short or less like a series of short points? Because I mean, if he wanted to make some points, but he's just, he's, Bill's busy. He's got, he's got so many businesses, things to do. Would have been funny if he's like, dumb it down for my constituents. He's like, you're right. Yeah. You're right. Who you work with are dumb.

Here's a more natural, less smart version of what you said. Cat in a hat. Oh, my God. I didn't look up the video. What was his name, Bill Powers? Did I make that up? You did. Okay, what was it, Oliver?

What? Bill Powers? I had an ace warm to be. I have so many powers. Baja. Chat, GBT, speech,

clip, Forskin. Can I hide a clip of Bill Oliver in my foreskin? No. You could probably project it to it, though. Can I fit marbles and? What position did you play?

What position did you play? Okay, I'm going to, here I am on Facebook. Let's take a look at this in real time. Or not. Why, is it muted? Okay, don't mute it. I asked you not to mute it.

Don't do that again. Don't fucking. Futed in offices is that citizens often develop expectations that exceed the powers actually granted to those offices. Here's a more natural flowing version of that section that reads like a legislative speech rather than a series of short points. What could those resources have been used for? What priorities are being deferred? What direct supports might have been funded? Oh my God.

What affordability measures could have been considered. Do you think he knows he's fucked that now? I don't know. So it's just finite. Or he doesn't know how to internet. So he just thought that that was like... I think he thought that was part of the speech. The guy behind him got up immediately and was like, I'm fired.

He was like, oh, shit. He was like, part. I'm going to head out. That's enough. They gave the old... Oh, boy. Nah, fuck me, right? I'm going to work on my resume.

Chat, GBT. Yeah, he's already started. While he's doing that, he goes, write me a new resume. Make me a new resume. don't include a series of short points. That's poor guy. It's so funny.

Comeders compare the error to professional standards expected of lawyers and some called for Oliver to resign. Oh my God. Calm down. That's a bit rash. Jesus. Just to have the laugh and shut up. God. He should be fired immediately.

We're not happy till Bill's dead. Fuck Bill, fuck I'm in the ground Run, Doug, run! You're right. You're right, this does sound a little... That is a little confusing. You're smart for telling me that.

And then he just continues on with this fucking thing. God, that's funny. That can't be the first time that's happened either. No, I've almost done it. I've almost done it in Newsworth. That's why you've got to, yeah, you've got to, you use AI as a tool to help you ruin your career. Exactly. But you've got to, you still got to look it over and you got to make sure, uh, because it's, you know, it's not perfect.

So it still, it should be a tool used as to enhance what you're doing, not replace what you're doing. Right? Right. I agree. Clerk of the house, David Wilson, reasonably told one news. There was nothing wrong with people you. using AI to help refine their written submissions to Parliament. Provided the views expressed remain genuinely their own.

He said the concern was less about the tool and more about whether it was producing someone's own thinking rather than the AIs. Duh. And we've learned about this. Remember when the fucking, the police officer was using, he used the AI to enter the police report. Oh, yeah. And the police report said that someone kissed a frog and turned into a prince. Because it was listening to the TV And it was watching Princess and the Frog

They're like domestic violence incident involved Frog Someone kissing a frog and it turned into a prince And they're like, submit Would you like to look this over to make sure it's correct? Would you like to make this sound less like points? Nope Would you like to make this sound less like a Disney

Like a Disney movie and more like a police report? Nah, that's good. I mean, there could have been a frog there. I wasn't paying attention. All right. Let's move off to the next thing. What do you got here, honey?

Okay. This is one of those wild tales that you're just like, what the hell was this guy on type of thing. Yep. New Hampshire man accused of stealing fire truck as cruise battle fire at his home. Fuck. Genius. Let me get you.

Blasts out. This is small text. Oh, wow. I'm looking at the photo of them. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep.

Yep. No way. Pull that guy up. Yeah, no way. It's not his best moment. Also not. He shouldn't be driving a fire truck. That must be the fire truck there.

How did you even turn it? Look at those. arms. So it didn't end well. We just need a quick photo. Is this good? Here, just look right over here. Do I look good?

Don't look like that way badass and seal a fire truck? You look like something. I love the idea of them taking a picture and then he's like, can I see it? Like that. Yeah, no, that's good. That's good. I like it. Send it everywhere.

Okay. Dalton, New Hampshire, WGME. WGME. Me. W. Jeannie. A new Hampshire man is facing multiple charges after police say he stole a fire truck while Cruz were trying to put out a fire at his home. They were doing too good. He's like, dude, let it burn.

I don't like it. Firefires responded just before sunrise. So it was early. Tuesday morning in Dalton. While Cruz were at the scene, police say 30-year-old Nestor Roman drove away in a stolen truck. Boof. Investigators say Roman hit another fire truck

that was being used to fight the fire. Excuse me? Drove over a hoses and narrowly missed three fires before hitting a wooden fence. Police say another homeowner...

Good luck. Keepin up, nerds! Just 15 feet away! Like, fucking Nestor. That name is never worked out. No. No one's like just top of their game with the name Nestor.

Please say another homeowner later called to report that a fire truck had crashed onto their lawn and the suspect was trying to get into their home. Oh, man. Hey, I got, dude, just hear me out. Hear me out, dude. Do you need water? Do you guys, do you guys have coal again?

I have a fire truck. I'll sell you, fuck. I'll give you all the water. Just let me in. Please. Your ports is flooding. Let me hide under your covers. Yeah.

Dispatch got a call that he stopped at a residence and Faraway Road. A couple miles down the road It's beautiful this time of year Troopers were able to make contact with Mr. Roman He was actually attempting to make entry into the back of that residence They won't even write Nestor Nope

Because Mr. Roman We're going to formally address him as Mr. Roman Roman was arrested after a struggle And faces several charges Including reckless conduct With a dangerous weapon And burglary He is scheduled to be arraigned on Wednesday

Roman's home Which Which should happen Which is near Vermont border was destroyed in the fire. No injuries were reported. I mean, Nestor's feelings are hurt. This has meth written all over. I just like, do you think he intentionally started the fire?

And then they came over and then he's like, I can't go to the, they always keep him locked up inside the shop, right? The warehouse, wherever it is. It's a fire station. Fire station. Yeah. Inside the garage. whatever the fuck is going. No, fucking door building.

The door. Building door. Door building, truck in. Truck inside building, door. What is it? Fire station? That's it. There it is. Tomato potato, dude.

Door building, door. I can't get. It never let me in. Every time I come to the door, they never let me in. Fucking door closed building fire. Man, door won't entry. No, not a loud door. Fucking water truck building door closed.

Fucking firehouse. whatever W. Gini. So he, yeah, so what if he was like, you know what? I have an idea. I don't even like this house. I don't care about this. I don't care about that. What I do care about is getting in that.

Getting a sick fire truck now, I'll get laid. And then wrecking immediately into another one. Like a hog, you know the fire truck hong? Just the, wha-w-w-w-out of the way, nerds. Nerds. It can't be easy to drive. No. That's what I was saying.

Especially when you're on meth. Look at those arms. He's not, what the fuck? No one of you ran into a fence. Maybe it was one of those double, those firefighters that someone in the back has to drive to. Control the back. So he's just swinging the back around. There's a Dalmatian barking.

Yeah. He's in the front seat with him. You're not, dad. But he's wearing like one of those plastic commemorative. Oh, yeah. Like little kid. Yeah. We have one of those at home.

Fire family. do. Yeah, I saw the... Because he always goes to the open house shows, but there's never keys so he can never steal it. What's the problem here, guys? He walks out, he has like that fake junior firefighter bats and a plastic hat. What do we got

a fire going on here? This looks like a five alarm. I've got this. You guys should get closer and he's like, just rush over and get... They're like, god damn and Nestor. He's like, you guys should get closer. He's like doing the backup. You guys should get closer. Nothing going on back here. skinny ass arms

struggling and get up into the fire truck he looks like a little guy yeah like trying to rotate the wheel he's like fuck can't do it uh yeah my first thought was that

which could be true or not true is that he started the fire that he's pissed they showed up and they're putting it out and he's trying to burn his house down and get some kind of money for more math that seems like a meth train of thought yeah that's yeah

but a meth train of thought has also set my house on fire and steal a fire truck. Yeah. It's crimes of opportunity. Yeah, it is. Dude, I can sell this fire truck for so much meth. Oh my God, dude. No one will ever know either.

Wait till my meth dealer sees me roll up in this. They're going to be so pumped. Get the fuck out of your nestor. Pull to a drug dealer's house and a fire truck. And a plastic fire truck house. Got to be some copper in this bitch. That's some good shit you got. Mamp-bats.

Good shit. Fuck, Nestor. You got the good shit. Hey! Hey, up in, Bucco! It's asking me to save shit. Did you say something? I didn't do nothing.

All right, well, that's weird. Whatever. All right, let's move on. Whatever. Off to the next thing. Zach, push it. Please. Pilots in the court.

You are now entering the petty beef courtroom, where all sides of some bullshit will be heard and evaluated. The people are real. The cases are real. The rulings are final. This is Petty Beef. Oh, wow.

Sorry, my mom texted me. Your mommy. My mom. Oh, I got one too. From your mother? No, from your mom. From Joe's mom? You know who did in Texas?

Our dad's. Fuck. Sorry. My dad's still alive and he doesn't text me if that makes you feel better. What position did you play? Sad boy. Sad boy businessman. I'm sad boy.

I am business boy I have a soggy mitt That's a type of condom Never been used Never been used Soggy mitt Unc circumcised Unccccumcised

Soggy mitt business boy Soggy mittend Soggy mitten Business boy Just wet winter hands That sounds like an adult swim cartoon Yeah four skins

Four skin fingers Soggy mitten business boy Would you like to do business together? No, get your hand away from me Okay, what are we doing? Petty beefing. I was going to say that I saw again On my share thing and I can't fucking turn it off

But you have like to find me And mine still asks me If I want to share my location with my dad Because he shared with me And I was like, I know where he is I will forever now I know right where he is And he's like, do you want to share your location?

I'm like, I don't think he needs it. You ever get those notifications? Like on a Facebook, you'll get a friend recommendation, and it's a person that's dead? Yeah, but it's been a bit. It's gotten better. It was out of control for a while. I had a friend recommendation.

I was like, who the fuck's this? And it said, have you had no friends in common? And he just said similar interests. And it said, music. I was like, sick recommendation. You guys would probably like each other. You both like music. You guys should be friends.

This person likes music too. What are you doing? You and 7 billion other people. It's just trying to connect your web to steal more connections. All right, back to you. What are you doing? This. Hey there, daddies and Uncle Comey.

Hello. My name is Ricky. Slick Dick Rick. I'm a hater. I have a petty beef you guys as dads might have came across. All right. I'm married with two young daughters. three years old and two years old.

Oh, good luck, buddy. Those are fun. They both drink out of sippy cups. My wife also drinks from a sippy cup. My wife and I split household chores. Normally the dishes are done by me. Okay. The thing my wife does that fucking pisses me off

is when she puts the sippy cups in the sink. She doesn't empty the contents of the sippy cups, even though I've asked her repeatedly to do so. Okay. How do I handle this, except for my shitter as I'm pooping? He's taking a little break. Mm-hmm. He's in there.

He's just like, if I stay out there. He was doing the dishes. She walked up and put those in and he's like, you know what? I need a minute. You know what? I'm going to go shit. I need to go tell Joe and Brian about it. I could either kill you or go take a poop.

I need five. Five minutes alone. Dooloo. Dooloo. Dilloo. Dillin. Sick tone. Dilloo.

The older I get, the more I don't understand Dimebeckstone. Screw you, buddy. Don't you start. And I liked it for a bit. Don't you start? But just the treble to 400. It was a Randall amp. Come on.

Triple to 400. It's like, where is the body? It works. It sounds like an effect that like once the song kicks in, it's going to go away. Never leaves. It never goes away. Man, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bikabigig, big a boogoooooo, yeah. Yeah, well, it's pom unit. It sounds like a big of boogoole-lip. Sikaget, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it. Zach hates me right now. Hey, one of the first songs I learned, like actual songs I learned was, It's all right, Cowboys Mill. Zach, it's all right, you didn't write it.

You're right. Or record it. You didn't write it. record it, but... I like it, though. That still? All these years later, that much treble? You know, not specifically the...

Fuck, new music in the 90s, right? Yeah, 94, 95. Exactly. It was done. After Woodstock 99, after what we did, I was like, I'm done. I'm out. After what we did. We broke stuff and it was too much.

What do you turn it fine? Here's A.I's understanding of panties. hair as iconic guitar tone. Use a high-gain solid-state amplifier with aggressive EQ shaping, high-output humbucker pickups, and a subtle always-on flanger pedal.

Uh-uh. A subtle always-on flanger. Flancher's the worst. I don't think so. Need more flange. There's nothing less subtle than a fucking flanger. All right. It's a randled app and a Dean guitar. Come on.

Yeah. They were cheap. I don't want to get into it. I was going to start playing shit. Okay. So let's go back to the sippy cups. You have a petty beef with dine bags. I don't.

I used to love it. I mean, I have my Marshall and for a really long time. Actually, still, my treble will be 10. But at least I have contour and bass and mids in the mix these days. But when I first started. playing. That's where I was. I got older and I was like, I was like, you should find an isolated guitar.

Just an isolated guitar. I think I was like, yeah, half like almost end of high school and I was like, I was like, why do these other bands sound like so big and full? And I'm like, it's you. It's me. It's me. It's me. Because I still like this.

Does it sound like a fucking megaphone? That's why. Isolated. I don't know about... It's going to be all solos. Oh, boy. How did we get here? Okay, no one cares.

We're going to have an intro. Like, you wait for the guitar to come in. There's not there. God damn it! This sounds like someone accidentally recorded it. On their phone, yeah. Yes, and that's, we're all just like sick. They sent the demo over there like, we'll just use that.

We don't have the money to re-record it. That's sick. Dix. Can you get, can you make it higher? No. That's all the things. I didn't hear the flange, though.

I don't know. Let me listen. Eat your own dicks. Eat them. Again. They did rock. Yes. This doesn't mean they didn't.

I mean, they fucking changed my, like I was getting into hardcore stuff. Like, Pantera was, was in heavy rotation. What's next? You want to go make fun

of the Beatles tones, huh? Yeah. It was before you were like, nah. Yeah, but there's other bands that weren't. Reinventing steel.

Amazing. I think that they went even higher. Like I, it was more, it was even crazier. Just the most. It makes sense. the solo tone. Because it cuts through the mix.

Yeah. Not for for rhythm. Not for anything else. That's just coming from an audio engineer perspective. Alright. Whatever thrice, boy. I thought we weren't going to say anything fucking offensive this episode. Nailed it. I'm going to get so much hate mail for this. Yeah. I'm writing mine right now. Especially since Danbegg's dead.

Yeah. I didn't kill him. His brother's nice. His brother's dead too. I know, but he was nice. I have many fun memories of the dinbat was oh everyone always said he was really nice too but they i'm sure they were both very nice they were really nice fellows they were nice didn't deserve to die yeah well viny didn't viny kind of he was he just accidentally died yeah he just that he didn't deserve didn't deserve he did not deserve to die viny just drank himself to death yeah probably because his brother was murdered on stage and probably because he had his own alcohol line

And he drank it all the time. He was so nice, but he was always hammered. But he's fun. He's fun to hang out with a few times I did. Okay, back to Sippy Cups. My God, we've digressed a lot. We're going to make it. We spent 10 minutes on Dimebag's tone.

I have the amp to do it. I can recreate it. Okay. All right. Three years old, two years old, a lot of stress in this household. Everyone, I've always had an issue with just, I'm sure we've covered this over the, four and a half years we've been doing the show.

But just putting shit in the sink drives me crazy. My fucking kids do it. Like, I occasionally will do it if, like, the fucking dishwasher is full of, like, clean dishes. And I guess don't have time, like, I'm heading out, and I grabbed a snack or a drink, and I just put it in. I'm like, fine. I will handle

that later. But the expectation that other people will handle your laziness is where it gets me. I know I'm going to be the one to do it in my household. So I'm just creating more work for me. But when my kids or other people are just like, you got it. Yeah, you got it. Here, you fucking do it.

Thanks for having me over. You do it. It's like, is the dishwasher? Is it, no, it's empty? I don't care anyway. I'm just asking, but here is your broken dish in the sink? I don't know. I put the dishes and sing,

and they magically get in the dishwasher. They jump over there. They have legs. Business boy legs. So I get it. Business boy. But just leaving shit in there, so it just gets caked harder and turns into concrete.

instead of just a literal half a second of swoosh down then leave it in the sink then we can all move on but putting it in there and having it just full of stuff that rots in this age i'm sure they're drinking like like sugary shit and milk breasts business boobs my wife will drink coffee getting dressed in the morning yeah and then uh she'll just like it'll be it'll be It'll be a little bit left and she'll set it off the side and then it'll get dry. And you have to do the whole thing where you've got to rinse it and get it off. I mean, I do my share of things too, but that's the one that comes to mine is that. No one would have to do any of this if you just.

Just when you're done, just go shh and rinse it. Yeah, I mean, even leave it in the sink, but just give it a rinse. Give it a rinse. Get it out of there. Krust it up. I don't know how you handle this. But bringing it up repeatedly does not mean shit. So you remember.

married. You're in this with a long haul, bud. Bring it up again. Like, hey, I love you. I know life is hectic. You know, it sucks. But you can't bring it. That's the thing that sucks about. What's the worst that could happen? No, but it really. Make sure you can't bring it. As the guy, you can't bring it up. And I know women are going to yell at me and say, well, oh, yeah, this and that, but you like, you legitimately can't ask for something, because it sounds like you're criticizing and of asking them to do something. Hmm. That sounds lovely.

Mm. I miss it. Like, you could even just slow it down, be like, I'm trying to say this in a way that it's, I'm not, this isn't, you're like, here, give me a nice. You're like practicing everything. I'm really not, but could you please, like, maybe when you just do that, oh. And you're like, fuck.

God damn it. Well, I guess we're not using the fucking pumpkin spice lube tonight. I'm like, God damn it. Never mind. Never mind. Fuck me. I take it back. Never mind.

Yeah, whatever. I'll just fuck my own ass with that pumpkin spice lube. Fuck it. I used to fucking my own ass. Or whatever you do with lube. You could also jerk off with it, I guess. I'm not a lube and jerk kind of guy, though.

It's a unnecessary mess. Too messy, yeah. I mean, there's a time and place for it. but most of the time I'm looking for efficiency what are we talking about I don't know all right you can bring it up I think you should bring it up

like hi this is making things worse it's very it's really simple you know I love you just can we open up the sippy containers and just get whatever's in there out of there so I'm not scrubbing them for an extra five minutes that's it bye

anyway I'll go pack my shit before you respond I've already packed my shit I'm out of here. I just want to let you know as I'm leaving that this is how I felt. And if you will please keep me,

take me back. After all this, I'll be at Chili's. That's where all the divorced dads go is Chili's. I meet not. Mark, ours also brought up

an issue with his wife tonight. We're going to go eat the meat platter. We're going to get the two-lar margaritas at Applebee's. So if you need me, I'll be drunk. Bye. I've already got a hotel room.

See you tomorrow. Think on it. sorry for bringing it up I'm so stupid are you using the loop tonight I already packed it all right bye

what are we going to say let's move off yeah love you bye um was I going to say something bad he's looked on your face you were doing it I don't remember I should probably shut my mouth

I think you're doing all right I should probably leave it alone me hooray we're not too Go, Zach! Play it! So you're telling me there's a chance. Hooray, we aren't doomed. Yeah!

I've been holding that one in for a bit. What a time. You finally got to unleash. Hey, me. It's me again. That's fine. They adapted. I feel like they started in the same realm.

But at least they add a little body to their guitar tone over time. And maybe dime dag or dime dag? Dimebag. Dimebag was. But he had that Randall sponsorship. What are you supposed to do? Yeah. They gave him money.

They paid for his house. Did he have a Marshall first? Or is it always Randall? I think he got a Randall Young because he won a contest. He won contests because he was amazing. And they kept giving him stuff. And so he's a Dean guy and he's a Randall guy. Yeah.

So fuck you, buddy. What? Yeah. You know, I love you. I bet you're other people that play those things. It takes the mitts out a little bit. sweep the men that no other knobs exist

you have to put it through a tube screamer and a flanger it's pretty good fucking tone for a flanger thing it's a good tone for a it's a hell of a tube screamer all the line six emulators were modeled after it great body all right

what are we doing it's a cat's doing music talk that like most people are like this is not this is not no one cares I don't want to be around anymore um So this was this is just something I was trying to find good stories. I'm like yeah, they're trying to cure cancer They're doing all that we've talked about all that kind of stuff

Blah blah Yeah, uh Scientists cure guitar tone right That's why they killed Dimebag It was big big guitar was the ear industry couldn't keep up yeah big ear nose and throat What came back to you? So I just I I don't even remember how I I found it, but I was like, you know, Jimithy was getting all the attention.

Yeah, Jimothy. Whoa. But I've seen other dogs and stuff. I've seen other dogs too. That have the same thing going on. I'm like, Jimethy doesn't deserve all the attention. The spinal bifida? Spinal bifida.

Is that bifety? I don't know. It sounds like something you'd find a Willie Wonka's chocolate factory. Can I do, hey, don't eat all. Save some spinal bifida for me for the rest of us. The everlasting spina bifida. All right. So the first link that I found was of this cat.

The cat was short spine syndrome. And it's super cute. People can't say Spina bifida. Yeah. This is called short spina bifida. And it was really cute. But then, wait, we have to look at it. Did it make it on the screen yet?

No, it hasn't. What the fuck is that doing out there? I'm waiting for him to put it down. Look at mine. Yours is off too. I want to see this. No, it's on. I want to see the damn title of the thing.

Oh, this. There you go. Son of us. Jimothy meet Mimmers. The adorable cat with short spine syndrome. Look at it. It's a rabbit. I had a kitty just like that.

What? You got a short spine? Not the short spine part, but the face and the body and the hair. Like the normal version. Yeah. So that, I mean, it's not the Sam's Club. Mimmers. That cat's cute.

It is cute and everything. Yeah. But what I thought was even cuter is I somehow, went from that to this. Oh boy, where are we going? Zach, pull this guy. Show it at me. Oh, God. This is

this is Tilly Bean. The friendly loaf. Yeah. That's the name of the fucking, the Instagram page is the Tilly the friendly loaf. Tilly the friendly loaf. Look at this little face.

So, come on, dude. This is when the right disability meets the right owners. Look at this. That's how you get friendly loaf. God, look at the sitting down. Mm-hmm.

The third picture in. Looking at the lake or the pond. Yeah, just... This is fine. Is that the cutest thing you've ever seen in your entire life? Look at that little face right there. He's like, pose for a picture for mommy. Pause up.

Okay. He's like, look! It scares him. Mm-hmm. Look, loaf! He's like, God. He's like, God. we got spud

Kermit what are these other disabled animals doing Oh I've seen him Cricket and chupy Look at chupy Fuck What happened Is it burned Ah

Nessie McNubs Look at two-legged dog Oh You'll kill all my nubs Oh man Look at that. Look at that. I'm not signed in so I can't.

Look at wearing a tutu. What? The picture next to that to the left. What? What am I looking at? Looks like it didn't render. Okay. Show me one more disabled.

I'm having a blast. Let's look at Spud. Seeing it. How about Brody and... Brody and... Fuck! God damn it. Ran out of credits.

Ah! Wait, there we go. Oh. Back? Look, what is... Woof. Aw. That's the sound of a tool chest,

falling down the stairs. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, Home Alone. Home Alone, too. Yeah, Home Alone, too. When they're listening to the... And then it slams on this... That's the sound of a tool chest,

falling down the stairs. And their noses are all bent. That's what that is. That is what that is. Why is my brain 25%? And it's, look, it's best boy, Brody. Best buy. So, if you want some fun stuff, just there's best boy, Brody, Tilly the friendly loaf.

I mean, go give them some love. Get in there, do it. Yeah, that's good. Look at that little face. That cheered me up. All right, show me the face. I got to see one more picker. Picker.

One more picker. I just love this one right here. Yeah, same one. Look at that little guy. All right. Okay. There's Kermit What's Kermit doing?

What's wrong with that? Oh, there's nothing wrong with it. I think it's short spine. Same concept. Here's cricket. Bagugie. Chihuahua's got some issues, I guess. Bark for me.

Borg. Yeah. It's all Jimithy. It's Jimithy in other forms. Yep. So, Jimenezdy doesn't get all the, can't have all the fun. Can't have all the spine. All right, moving off to other things.

Zach, push, thanks. The internet is pretty wild. Depending on your browsing habits, you can either experience something super cool or go to prison. Crazy, right? Let's check it out. Together, as a couple.

Hey, look what I found. Yes, that's awesome. Sure. This one? We want to do Megadolon? down to yeah megaledone

this is uh quite the literal hey look what I found okay kind of like finding the gold bars exactly uh father and son

make amazing prehistoric shark discovery during Jersey shore vacation they found the clitoris they did you know because we thought it was extinct

the clitoris yeah clitoris I forgot which one was a dinosaur um megalodons when extinct approximately 3.58

million years ago. You carry the one. A Pennsylvania family vacationing in New Jersey discovered some prehistoric and rare during the... You almost read that right. Discovered...

Where your glasses? Something prehistoric and rare during their trip to the beach. The fossilized... The fossilized... A fossilized tooth of a megalodon. Just trans...

Put those glasses out and transformed into Mike Tyson. Dude, that would be... The fossilized. If Jimithee... had a cartoon or something, and that's how he would talk. Fothelife. Flawfulized. My defense is impregnable.

I eat in children. New Jersey. Falafelites. Megalodons were enormous sharks that lived approximately 23 to 3.58 million years ago. That is a wide net. That's a huge gap. Just say they were a long time ago. That's the problem I have with science

sometimes. It's like, you trust the science, but then they'll say like, it could have been two or seven billion years ago. Five billion years. difference? That's a long time. I'm like, do you have a better guess? Yes, we can do.

Yeah, do you have a better guess? Did you do any research? We found this planet that's roughly 780 million light years away or 200 million. You're like, don't send me on that spaceship. That's 500 million light years difference. That's a big difference. I'm not going to have enough potatoes. Ran out of food.

and a single tooth from an animal can be about the size of an average adult's hand that's pretty big pretty big tooth maga bowers and his 11 year old son bow bow bow bow bowers yeah he's going to be good at something bo boers first base yeah yeah yeah he's oh bowers uh after exploring a jetty in cape may new joysie when bowers spotted an opening with an odd looking object jammed inside. The clitoris.

He asked Bo, still got it. Since he has smaller hands to fish out the object in the opening. Hey, stick your little kid hand in that hole. There could be a dragon in there. You put your dumb arm in there. Yep. I ain't going to do it.

My hand's too big. The boy got to work and soon found he was holding a massive megaladone tooth. I looked down in there and I couldn't believe myself. Bauer said. It's a funny sentence. He and his family were from Moneki Howl. Pennsylvania, but regularly take beach vacations to Wildwood, New Jersey. To easier pronounced wildwood.

They don't typically find fossils of ancient predators, however. It's on a bucket list and stuff to find Bowers told the publication. That didn't really read that sentence. It's very good. Let me try that again. It's on my bucket list. I read all the words correctly, just not in the right way. It's on my bucket list of stuff to find.

Bowers told the publication, my knees were shaking. You know, check that off. Right below Megalodon tooth is, have your knees shake from finding Maglodon tooth? Yeah, cross two of them off. Check. Check, great day.

He and his son took the tooth to Cape May Whale Watch in Research Center where the experts confirmed their Faso was the real deal. Wow. Would you like us to hold on to this for you? No, fuck off. And as being a parent, that's really fun to, to think about doing something like that. Like just having that moment, it'll be a forever thing.

It'll sit in some nice little chest on the mantle. Hell yeah. My oldest son's favorite monster truck was Megalodon. Oh yeah, the one that looks like a shark. The one looks like a Megalodon. It's my least favorite. Going after all our sacred cows today, are you, Joe? I don't like it.

I don't like the tone of it. I don't like it. It looks like a shark and it's dumb. It's a truck. Shouldn't look like a shark. Yeah, but it sucks. It should look like a truck. Don't you tell your friend's kid it sucks. Huh?

Be a kid. Your kid likes it? I just said it was my son's favorite. God, no wonder I instantly wanted to fucking hate it. Which shithead is it? Miles. Ugh!

God. He can do no right. Everything he does is wrong. Saying that was such conviction and a straight face. It's a brother. I just couldn't love you, Miles. If you hear this episode like 10 years? Yeah.

He's like, I wonder what my dad was doing. He'll look it up and Miles, I'm just kidding. You can like... Sean, one day you're going to learn about the clitoris. You're going to listen to this episode. And fucking how to have a proper guitar tone. That's right. All right, time to hear from the kids.

Zach Pushing. Fucking yeah. All right, let's hear what you guys think. Really? You want to talk to me? Wow, that's cool. Have fun with this beat. That is the pace.

That's the flannery. Flangier. That sold millions of copies, though. Fuck. First email coming in from our son, Andrew, Joseph Collin, Brian Shrimp, and Zakeel O'Neill. You guys put out the call for stories of loud neighbors, and boy, do I have one for you?

Fucking nails. Oh, boy. This neighbors with a dime bag. Stop it. All right, I'll stop. 3 o'clock in the morning. I still blast Pantera. I'm just having fun over here, guys.

Oh, boy. They're not even playing that. They're just playing an isolated dine bag so we can learn the guitar part. I have one for you. So the house that I grew up in was kind of out in the country, you know, driving tractor and all that. Oh, yeah, brother.

And I had a few neighbors who got a little rambunction. at times. The big ones that come to mind though is Tony. Fucking timber Tony. Trouble. Tony troubles. Always something with Tony troubles. Trebles? Shit. We're back.

I think this has to be a new sound. All right. Someone's ears have exploded that have like AirPods in right now. now. They're like, please make it stop. I love the idea. They're in

recording and everyone's like, so that's just, that's just to get the idea down, right? He's like, that is the idea. That is the idea. That's what we're going to do. Fuck. All right. Ship it. Can you just add a new treble. Those are good riffs. Those are good riffs,

dog. Yeah. I know. Tony Trebles. The best way I can describe him is that he learned how to whisper in a sawmill. That's a good country saying right there. And he had all of the quiet grace of a nuclear bomb. Occasionally, he would shoot bottle rockets at me. Hey! Hey, nerd!

Ha ha! Tony troubles! Fuck. Once while I was on the phone with a high school girlfriend, as she was breaking up with me and then he had a laugh louder than usual pussy

he rules he would also have private conversations for the whole street to hear he also had this pile of shit or this piece of shit pile of shit 80s El Camino fucking course you did

drag car that sounded like Pantera like it would haul more ass than a trailer full of donkeys that one didn't quite land It don't all work In the country But it was about as good Of a race car

As a Chrysler Pacifica From the funeral home He'd open the garage door And start that car And rev it for a few minutes I can't You bastard Tartor

Oh, guitar's in stereo Right there Just light Just fucking It's the same tone As a guitar The same pitch Holy!

Fuck you, nerd! If I could combine revving an El Camino bottle rockets in this Pantera, right now, that would be Tony Trouble. Back to the story. Rebbing a few for a few minutes, which then prompted our other neighbors

to start their cars and rev them. Where do you live? This is the best cul-de-sac of the world? Wait till you hear this. Fuck you, Brad! And you're just, fuck, dude. Just everyone's like, wow. We affectionately dubbed this as the garage nationals in my household.

Sometimes Tony would set off, what's that? I forget how we said it. How to fucking say that word. Where are you at? This one here. Oh, I can't highlight on your computer. Tony. Acetylan, whatever the bombs are that you can shoot.

Oh. Acetylene? Acetylidylates. Cidoling? Thank you. Acetylene bombs in the driveway. We'd be in the house, mining our own business as usual, then hear a loud boom. and feel the fucking ground shake, dude.

It got normal enough that I'd hear it and then calmly say, well, Tony's dead. I ain't dead yet. In a flat voice and then say, guess not when I heard him laughing. And he-hawn and carrying on. God. This is awesome. Dude was a menace.

Dude was a menace. But he was cool. Even bottle rockets became funny after a while. Sent from a universe where the text is slightly smaller than normal. Man, that's good. It's so funny because I know I mean is it going to get better than that? Should we?

I think we should just, yeah, let's end it. Okay. Let's end it on that. I'm going to, let's read the end to this instead of a normal. There we go. Beautiful. If you have something you want to see on the show, email that into hey guys at can you don't podcast.com.

Oh, damn it. Just remember that the honkathon is on. Head over to patreon.com. slash can you know podcast. Linger. Read and review us from every listen to the podcast.

Thanks, Uncle Zach, for producing today's show. Be sure to check out all the podcasts that he does at scatcast.com. That's scat with a K.

And thanks to the babysitters that moderate, or babysitters that moderate the Can You Don't Playground on Facebook. All right, you ready to wrap this thing up?

Oh, yeah. Let's put a bow on her. Fuckin' yell. Good God. Wrap it up already, huh? All right. All right.

What does? Does Little Mermaid wear under her clothes? Under her clothes? Mm-hmm. What? An algae bra. I feel like there should be more math set up. He's like, right?

Yeah. It should have been like... But it does have algae and bra. It does, but it would have been like, what does she wear... To math class. Yeah. Yes. Nice.

Rewrite it. Okay, try again. What does Little Mermaid wear? to math class. What? An algebra. Nailed it. But you wear anything else

or just an algebra? She'd wear her, that's just that. Oh, man. And the teacher's okay with it? I guess. Well. The teacher loves it,

actually. Big fan. All right. Love you guys. Off to the bonus content. If you don't support us on Patreon, we'll see you next week. Bye.