Can You Don't? - Can You Don't? | Gerbil Cannon. Napkin Chair. Gold. T-bone Steak.

Episode Date: August 13, 2025

Imagine all the things you purchase while out and about in your neck of the woods. Now imagine if the only way to purchase those things required you winning them via a claw machine. Let's talk about that, eating the perfect butt biscuit at a 5-star restaurant, catapulting your old pet horse over a zoo fence, how insane rich people's dinner etiquette actually is, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://www.patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast ***New Episodes every Wednesday at 12pm PSTWatch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/2nzRw7GvyWgSend in segment content: [e-mail]: http://canyoudontpodcast.comMerch Inquires: [e-mail]: http://facebook.com/canyoudontpodcastIG: http://instagram.com/canyoudontpodcastYouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wyt5rtOfficial Website: http://canyoudontpodcast.comCustom Music Beds by Zach CohenFan Mail:Can You Don't?PO Box 1062Coeur d'Alene, ID 83816Hugs and Tugs.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Gerbil cannon, napkin chair, gold, teabone steak. It's a good number. It feels good. Yeah. Can you number with a five or a zero at three. And it feels good. Feels like we've reached something. Yeah, something's happened. Mm-hmm. And something has happened.

It has. And we'll get to that here in just a little bit. Thank you guys so much for subscribing on Patreon. I'm announcing at the time that we're recording this. And again, full disclosure, we're recording many weeks in advance of this time. Years. Because it's some... It's fucking 2026.

Yeah. And we're just like, who that's like a time capsule? We just had everything predicted out to a perfect tea. So thank you to everybody that signed up. As far as the Golden Goose thing goes at the time that we're recording this, all 10 tiers have been filled. And we'll tell you guys more about that here in just a little bit. Who has signed up?

But everybody that has participated in the honkathon, a huge thank you. As you guys know, the 400 Patreon subscribers that has been reached. And Brian and I just went and got our tattoos. We did. You ready to show these things off? Yeah, I know. We still got the second skin on them. You ready? All right. Let's take a little p. Look at that. How giant your arm is.

Thanks, thanks, hon. The muscles tightening up. Ah, shit. Getting in the cramp. So, if you can't, you're not seeing the video version. It is two silly geese. The, the position of the geese changes depending on whose arm it's on. What position did you play? What position did you play? What position did you play? And on mine, the goose with the glasses is in front.

And the guy at the hat is in back, and then on Brian's, that swaps. Because it's our own bodies. We figured, you know, have a little basket to swap the geese out. Little flames on top. Yep. The hot air balloon is on fire, carrying around a couple silly geese. So thank you guys so much. My arm at the moment looks like someone figured out how to open up, like, the clip art in Microsoft Word.

And there's like, that'll do. Like, they're putting together like a PowerPoint presentation. Yeah. They're like, just put it in there. Like, it looks good. But I just like, I don't know. It'll have to figure it all out. But it'll lighten and it'll blend into the skin a little bit.

It won't look as harsh. Right now it looks like one of those ones you just get wet. Yep. Stick it on there. Yep. But that's awesome, you guys. We got it done iron and gold here in Spokane. Sure did.

Brandon. He was a lot of fun. Yeah. He dealt with our shenanigans. If you are part of Patreon, you've probably seen the video by now. We might be making that video public. But the gaggle will have the first view. of it.

Fuck yeah. Yeah. If you're in the area, I mean, if you want to, you want to fly, he'll, it said we'd even, we could get the, get the stencil for it. The stencil if everybody else wants to get it, if you're fucking crazy enough. If you want to go to Iron Gold to get it done. Get a little matching tattoo, but it was, it was a lot of fun. And, yeah, I think I talked about it in the, in the video that we posted, but, like,

I don't know what happened. Like, I forgot the tattoos hurt. Like, that's a whole thing. Like, it was, it wasn't even part of it. I was just focused on because it, you know, it's work, it's honkathon, we reached it. I was like, okay, what are we going to get? And it was all like the details in the back end of getting it all figured out, scheduling it. And then where are the kids, where do the kids have to be?

Does Pepper have work? Other appointments have to get to? And then I would dig right before it happened, I was like, oh, yeah, apparently they fucking hurt. I forgot all about that. This spot's not that bad. Yeah. It wasn't that bad. I was chewing my gum, chewed my cud.

If you've been through enough shit in your life, you know how to turn it off, turn your brain off. It's not that bad. I think the hardest part about having a tattoo is like just, like, I'm exhausted from all the pussy I'm getting. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like, I'm just like. Enough is enough, too. Like, I'm not a scheduler.

Right. You know, so I'm having a hard time. Like, I got like teams open and I'm trying to schedule all this puss. And that's been difficult. I get it. I mean, if you weren't booked up already with everything. thing. You're three times his book now. Fucking three times the labia, you know.

So, Maddo you say... Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, brother. But no, next on the honkathon at 425, which, God damn, by the time this episode comes out, we could be there. Brian's going to get his eyes checked. 450 again, reminder a hot air balloon ride. 475, Zach gets its own camera.

500 is that extra Patreon episode every single month, more of what you love. Send in your content suggestions to, hey, guys, at can you don't podcast.com. I got all the merch shit. Go buy it up at candy don't podcast.com. And a reminder, of course, we're recording this episode.

By the time this comes out, we're spinning that wheel. We'll have the announcement of who wins the $150. But at the time that we're recording, it's not time to skip. God damn, a lot going on. Yeah, I know. It's nuts. That was a gaitful is what that was. And on top of tattoos and all this shit, we're just going to be stuck on Uncle Zach's lap.

Oh, boy. For back-to-back weeks, back-to-back laps. sorry if you if I swear to God if you poke me in the ass with a boner I'm trying to from he somehow gives you a tramp stamp yeah you get it are you circumcised yeah okay just making sure you guys want to see the needle I don't want to hit it inside a sweater I want to know I want to know what I'm dealing with I don't want to like a little surprise no surprise yeah I don't want an extra a couple inches how big how big's that head into the fucking turtleneck I want to be scared I want know what I'm up getting into

Zach, a little preview of what we're talking about on today's show for lap time. We're going to go digging deep into table etiquette. We're going to learn how to eat with the right spoon and a not puke on the table. Keep your elbows off the table. Sure. We'll see what we know about it. Keep your dick off the table. For a couple of fellows like us, that's like all we know is like, don't talk with your mouthful or keep your elbows off the table.

I think you're probably right. I think you're probably right. It gets a lot deeper and it's going to be insanity. I'm so scared. All right, you ready to get the show rolling? Sure. Okay, we got a fun one. Okay.

Zach! Hey, shut up. Start the show already. All right. Well, Seth, the human fucked up. Would you rather, machines back? Always. He's always got a little something, does he?

I just picture that guy taking a piss and like, that'd be funny. It'd be funny if a bowling ball came out of here. And then also very fitting because he has the can you. You don't logo tattooed on his ass. He does. Would you rather be able to piss out any liquid you want? Okay. So like soda pop, water.

Dr. Pepper. He says blushes. I don't know what the fuck that is. He doesn't know what a blush is? I don't. Let me Google that. Like makeup? That's what I thought.

Yeah. In case you need to touch up. Make up! Yeah, you just piss out and save a ton on makeup. Is that one of those fruity drinks you can get at the coffee place instead of coffee? I'm assuming it has to be. but he has like smoothies. Yeah, here it was.

All right, show me a blush, babe. I mean, here's a few different. What do we got? Oh, okay. Okay. I mean, he didn't mention... It does. Yeah, so a cocktail.

He called it a blush. Yeah, so alcohol's in there, too. Like, just being able to piss out a fucking a Coors light. A cocktail out of your... God, a cock. Yeah. Get it. Yeah, get it.

Okay, so all that. Piss out any liquid you want, or be able to shit out any food you want, cooked to your perfection. Steak and mashed potatoes, like, just a perfectly cooked steak. Okay, so a couple red flags, uh, talking about shit and out of steak. It's your butt hole. So it's perfectly cooked, but is it covered in shit? Because that's a problem.

I bleached my asshole. So I know. I know you do. But do you like, do like, like, you have to get into the anime game and like, Really clean that, clean that colon. I guess, yeah. Before a shitting out a five-star meal. Yeah.

A dingleberry will ruin the steak. Yeah. I guess I hadn't considered that it's where it's coming from. I just was visualizing the, the result. Yeah. I mean, do we, maybe for the sake of this, would you rather, we assume it's coming out pristine. That's what I want to think, because it's more fun to think about it like that. It makes it the decision harder.

Yeah. Because if I'm pissing out Dr. Pepper. but it's it's fine yeah it's not gonna taste like urine but steak might taste like ass but the pain is still involved right yeah so if you're pissing out a sack like an ambiotic sack sure you just shit out the sack and then you pop the sack open and then the meals in there because if you're shitting out like a T-bone you get to shit out your own doggy bag that's nice yeah you have to work for it right you have to work for that meal would be a little bit easier.

Oh, my God. Just don't ask for a T-bone. God. One of those. What's the... The visual of mashed potatoes coming out of an asshole is fucking me up. You got to get the mashed potatoes out.

Then you've got to get the gravy out. That's out of your dick? Well, you could shoot... You know, when you get, like, runny diarrhea, kind of looks like a little brown gravy-ish. Imagining a restaurant where... They order, they're like,

I'll get the New York with the garlic mashed potatoes Can I get a side of like the baby asparagus? Like yeah of course All right And then

Guy just comes over He's like you guys having a good night Yep Yep He goes He stands up on the table A guy that looks like Oger from Revenge of the nerds

Pulls his apron up And just shits A perfect meal out of his ass And he's like And you're sitting there like just waiting you know you're like in anticipation with your fork and smells good

what I visualize is the etiquette like that he's going to be talking about later too like a fine dining restaurant where you've got all the silverware and yeah and it's a first date and like you're bending around this dude is shitting and sweating on the

table onto your plate and you're bending around his hairy leg be like so what do you do for fun so what else you would do how long you've been working here so what do you uh so you mentioned that you work at but like to your date you're like so

oh the date yeah you're like you're like this in the show you don't want to fuck up your meal no yeah let him do his thing yeah let him work he's like don't mind me

just threw his legs looking at your date so you mentioned you work in finance huh yeah and taking little like little samples of what he's shitting out. You're like, oh, that's good. You want to try? A dinner roll, thunks on the table. And the next is a little slice of butter.

Thank you. You're holding your knife up. You're holding your knife out and it plops on your knife. You're like, is this honey butter? He's like, yeah. You want some of this bread? Can we get one more roll? And he's like, he does a little dance to shift the order of how he's going to shit his food out.

You're like, I'm working on the steak right now. I could really use another roll. He's like, he does a handstand. He starts wiggling to make sure a roll comes out next. And then he shoots her from a handstamp and you catch it. Thank you. God, I love this place. I was just going to say it.

Oh, man. Love it here. There's nothing like, nothing like Joe and Brise. And then the guy walks by Brojos. Brojo's, yeah. The guy, the actual waiter walks over and he's got like the water glass to fill up your water. How,

he has the He has the dick choice. Right. You enjoy anything tonight? When we top your water off.

Pulls his dick out and like lays it on the edge of the cup. Does your daughter want anything? One more that lemonade? A little more lemonade. Okay, close your eyes. I don't want to get arrested.

All right. And here's the Do your tic-tac-toe game. Put the blindfold on for minors. Just to make sure you compliant. That's a fun restaurant. Okay, but for us personally, I would pick the pissing out thing.

Like, if I could just like piss out a drink, alcohol, I mean, you're gonna say, one, you're gonna save money. And I also think that just the flavor of like alcohol, beer will mask any sort of concern. I gotta throw this in here. God, you're in sterile, so. You know the movie Cocktail? Tom Cruise. long time. Yeah, no, it's 80s, so you guys probably weren't injected that into your lives. I remember it. But if you were serving alcohol out of your dick, that would be a pretty interesting title.

Cocktail. Yeah, sure would. And also, you'd be a better bartender than most. That's true, too. So, there's my dumb injection of things. I like that. You're behind the counter, like, say your cocktail waiter or whatever, and you're behind the counter and walks up, we'll take three martinis, and he's just like, all right, whips

the dick out, and he's like, you know, like, or like, remember kind of a ugly? shot when they pour it down the line. Right. Do you remember Coyote Ugly? Yeah. Yeah. They're up in the dance and they're like spraying the hose and shit. Oh, yeah. So the guy who's up there, he lines up a bunch of shots and he's just like pissing all over it. Pissing all over the, all over the fucking whatever it's called.

That's why I was thinking of a cocktail because he does flips with the shit or whatever. So he'd be flipping his dick around. Yeah, doing the helicopter. I want it straight from the tap. Bouncing his dick off his elbow. Doing a little cool trick. A little salt bay. Throw on your dick.

between your butt cheeks, bouncing it back, being like, oh, and they're like, oh, and like, everyone claps. And he gets pissing their cup. Could you get past that? Like, if, if you were the person getting the drink, and the drink tastes the same, but the idea that he's, like, flopping his dick around and stuff, like, could you have to be in a progressive city? Yeah.

Yeah. You're like in Austin or Portland or something. Can I see your papers? Like, I have to know that we're getting pristine piss beer. um the other side of it is that all of our imaginations went to like it being willing but if you were like a magic beer pissing person like don't you think maybe you might end up in a situation you don't want to be in like where you're kidnapped and you're like tied up in the back room to a ladder all they want like what do you want what do you want okay and just go back there like fucking piss again

piss boy and they're just like stealing piss from you like you're basically just a cow yeah well that's basically what you are yeah so just tied up in the back room with some local pub dude this you know what this is it's fuel in the fire for pita what we're discussing right now right you get it or or you just or you just hold him at ransom right exactly and you uh and you just get traded around from bar to bar you might have a terrible life you just go to you got to fill up a barrel yeah and you send you're very you're a VIP I don't it's tough for me like from a personal standpoint because

I mean God if you could just piss or if I could shit out like a five or whatever like a four what's that Michelin Star fucking quality restaurant just anytime I wanted

or a double bacon cheese yeah sometimes you feel like a burger like a greasy wings why does that bother me more if I get a pound of wings It's just kind of like anal beads They come out on the string You just like

Buffalo Wildway just shutting out Dude that would burn a little bit The buffalo comes out with it Because your butthole can handle it Right Just popping it out Right Yeah sushi

A dragon roll Chef special I'm picking the piss Instead of the food I just don't want to work I don't want to work my asshole to get out something good. God, see, I keep forgetting that it's the effort that has to go in to get it out.

Yeah. But, man, it's there. It's available. Simplicity reasons, I think the smart play is the drink. Just because you're not messing too much with your colon. Right. You just got to piss it out. You've got to piss it out.

What if it's one of those bubble teas, though, or what a... With the boba? The boba. You're pissing out little boba balls. Yeah. That's out of your dick this time, though. Don't order it. I mean, I don't even care for it.

Yeah. I'm seriously thinking about if I can get like water, pop, or beer. And I'll get a little tingle in there. I can feel like you have a UTI. And that's better than shitting out a family meal of spaghetti. Imagine you walk into the fucking living room and like you're just sitting in your recliner, just pissing into your mouth. Like, what the fuck you do? Yeah, you don't even need a cup.

Just put a funnel, like attach your dick to a camelback. You're all set. you've won A never-ending cycle Of good times All right That's probably the way to go Okay

I'm gonna pick piss Your piss I'll go piss Okay Zachy Oh yeah piss Alright Let's move off to what are you thinking about

Let's roll it Zach Hey Hey what's up babe What are you thinking about You know nothing Actually you know what I'm thinking about a lot of shit

What are you thinking about Oh geez So for what are you thinking about This was something that actually popped up When we were just talking around the studio I think maybe a month or a couple months ago now Okay All rise

Oh shit Here's Zeus the Goose For the Golden Geese Daniel Spatz Jordan Holiday The Sofa King Matt Johnston Jason

Clayser Neil Definney Matthew Letter Chris Eastern and Daniel Collier Maggie Stokes. Man, you never know when Zeus the goose

is going to pop in here and make sure... You got to turn it on, too. Like, fuck, here we go. Make sure the golden goose get their recognition. But seriously, you guys, that is all 10. That's all 10. It's all filled up. So thank you guys so much.

It's been fucking crazy. So bouncing back to a conversation that we had, and I don't remember, maybe one of you guys do. man you might have been there because in my brain you weren't even there but Zach and I were talking about it I'm so confused

okay you just said I was there and then I wasn't well maybe physically you were there but mentally you were who knows probably more yeah more of that than the other but we were laughing about if weed shops

because we I think we were talking about going to weed shops and how much they've changed over the years where originally they just kind of like everyone was just happy that you were so like able to sell weed and we live in the state of Washington so there are weed shops everywhere around Spokane area and um they went from like you walked in there and it felt kind of sketchy at first and then money got involved and then you started going into them and you felt like you were underdressed which felt weird and then we started talking about how you could change the whole environment if you just changed wheat shops into like a claw machine

type situation yeah i wasn't there for that where like you know you walk in and they have like got the cones and they have the buds and everybody everyone's happy to see you right but what if you eliminated any sort of i think it was maybe like an ai thing so it was self-checkout and then we went from self-checkout talk uh to if there's no one working in a weed shop And we're like, well, how would you be able to regulate it? And we're like, how funny would it be if you were high as fuck in a weed shop using a claw machine trying to pick up your buds? Like, play till you win type thing. Like, instead of a rubber ball, it's just like a...

Like, you don't know if you're going to get it when you put your money in? Yeah, we get to play until you win. You might spend a lot of money. And you keep on... No, you know what I mean? Like, so you put in your money... Oh, got it. Yes.

I thought you meant keep playing. Keep paying until you win. You're $300 in for a little... A little nug. yeah no and he just scoops it up and it like fucks up and goes over and just picturing like just so high oh do we got it oh my god no it just drops it and you're like ah and there's just all these different little weed claw machine set up but you can turn the claw machine into like any store it kind of makes it kind of doesn't it make a little fun and

frustrating milk or you just go to yeah go in groceries to get you we need milk and you're like I just need a thing of 2% milk and you get out of here your wife's at home cooking yeah I'm gonna run down there uh listen it could be five minutes it could be six days yeah but I will be back with 2% milk by the time you win it it's expired mm-hmm you're like it's all chunky and you know well a little fun gambling addiction that there's nothing worse than the claw grabbing it and lifting it up and you're like fuck yeah but as soon as it stops to move it drops it jars it and drops it so fucked up dude i think it's fucked up that they're allowed to do that like they know that it's going to fuck you over like it's not because you're doing

anything wrong it just doesn't apply the pressure to grab the prize until a randomized amount of money so that way the claw machine doesn't lose money well what it should do if you were it's just physics it should reach down and as soon as it grabs it it starts it's like on a system to where it lifts up and towards the whole area so it moves right so it doesn't stop until it's right over the top of it

I don't know but that's not how you make money Yeah that's not The most efficient Is them taking all your money Yeah that would be efficient for us Yeah exactly But imagine like

Yeah like going into Like an Adam and Eve Or a lovers And you're fucking You're so hard And you're so horny One of those giant Like silicone asses

That you just trying to fuck this ass He's trying to stick one of the claw spikes in the silicone asshole to hook it? And you're like, the way you're talking about it, like, just, it's not going to grab the cheek. Just finger the butt, dude. You have your friend helping you line it up? Yeah, he's in the back. Go forward, go forward. I think it's right there.

No, I'm telling you right now. I'm over here. And you drop it down. It's like, well, maybe you, if you can get close to the machine, your fucking boners in the way. Just using your dick to hit the joystick back and forth. Just tap it in. Just tap it in. But even just a bend of dicks, like a bunch of dildoes and they call it.

claw machine? Vibrating. You get it. We can really spice up life with the claw machine situation. I mean, Zach mentioned Home Depot. I mean, just going to like, or like a, like it, you got to go get a single wood. Like I just need a piece of plywood for a project. Trying to clodron and pick up a flat piece of plywood.

He's slam it into the glass. Just cut. The budget, you have to make, no, no, no. And yeah, what is expensive right now. But the most expensive. part of building a new home is your amount of money we have to put into the claw machine. I love that. Them having to justify.

It's $350,000 for claw machine. You're like, I don't make the rules. I'll make the rules. And now houses take six years to build. It really slows things down when you get a claw machine. Well, imagine going to the construction site. So, like, a thing reaches over to grab one of the trusses, you know, for the roof and picks it up.

And as soon as it gets up, it. falls and crashes down. Just all these construction workers just sitting around being like Jesus Christ like you get like a crane

that only works sometimes every time they try to hook a like a bag to bring up to the top one it's like it won't hook and the foreman just

dude's sitting up on top of the house like fuck oh he's something or just I mean the idea of like all the construction

guys sitting on top of this house waiting for the trusses to come up there and you're down there you're like going, you're like tapping the R. And they're all waiting, you're going in, and the guys look it on the side. You're like, go deeper.

Jesus. And one, and one goes through the top of like the pallet you're supposed to grab. And it just slides out. I mean, it's 100 degrees, dude. It's just like, fun. Oh my God! It's so bad. Picking a new car.

It's in the, it's like a giant car lot. and you're looking through the car you want you get it but it smashes all the windows out and we'll replace those it just drops it through a metal shoot I'm picturing the junkyard you know when they grab the cars and toss them on there yeah oh my god

but yeah there's so many fun things and just get a claw machine involved I mean it it takes something that is seemingly kind of fun but a little frustrating to something that's just like the worst possible right like you have to leave the house

I think this was talked about on an older episode your keys yeah that's it you have to use a claw machine to get your keys oh god anytime you want to leave the house he's like oh Jesus your wife's pregnant she's going into labor

she slides out she's like I'm going to have it here damn it I'll just drive myself your keys are in it too God Keep it together. How many marriages and shit that would ruin?

But we're all in it together. That's what's crazy. I know. It's like, this isn't my choice. This is hell. Yeah. It would be hell. That's hell.

That would be terrible. Anyway, just fun thought. Let's move off for some dick. Okay. Some fun stuff in here. Zach, please. Is it dumb? Is it interesting?

Is it cool? Then it's dick. Oh, man. Just picturing someone that's super high, though. It was so funny. Like, just their eyes. Mm-hmm. And they're concentrating so hard

Just trying Like you're just like And then It's slowly being unhigh I'm just trying And he's like I can't Can't do it You'd have to wait for the wave

Yeah Come down You're like fuck Do it now, do it now Do it now do it now Oh shit's coming back So this is fucking wild On the surface

It's um You know it sounds pretty fucked up But then when you really start thinking about it, it's maybe not that fucked up. It's one of those types of situations. So at Denmark Zoo asked public to donate unwanted small pets or horses

to feed captive predators. Wait, small pets or horses? How is that, how is that an or horses situation? How's that a unit of measurement? Just like, I don't know, just like bring over

like a cat or a buffalo You're like, anything in between? Nope. Just those two. So a zoo in Denmark is asking the public for donations of unwanted small pets or horses. In zoos, we have a responsibility to imitate the natural food chain of the animals in terms of both animal welfare and professional integrity. Alborg zoo. Never been.

Have you been? Nope. No. I heard it's beautiful this time of year. So the zoo. Especially when all the animals are feeding. Eating on pets. So a zoo in northern Denmark said that chickens, rabbits, and guinea pigs were an important diet or a part of the diet of predators, which need whole prey reminiscent of what they would find out in the wild.

If you have a healthy animal that has to leave here for various reasons, feel free to donate it to us. Oh, little Peggy the guinea pig is going to die. So instead of burying it in the backyard. The animals are gently anuthanized by train staff and afterwards used as fodder. That word isn't something you usually hear in like a heartfelt statement. Fodder? No. No.

I'm sure like within translation from Denmark to English. Or just business. What are they speaking in Denmark? Danish. Oh. Is that real? I have no idea. Probably, I mean, they speak something.

I have no idea what the fuck they speak in Denmark. It's probably like German or something. Yeah. I think it's Danish. In Denmark. And it's only in Denmark? Danish. Yeah.

Well, I mean, I know it's a, but. It's probably a derivative of some kind of Germanic language. What does Danish sound like? Yeah, what does it sound like German? Want to place a sample? Yeah, but my audio. Oh, wait. It does.

We fix that. Yeah. the most difficult word in Danish would have to be red grottenfleur Yeah it sounds like German That's

It's They both just say words And then laugh Fusict Fulstainty Anti-constitutional That wasn't heard Yeah anyway

It sounds like Probably what they speak and like, do they speak Danish in Sweden? Whatever. I speak Swedish in Sweden. In Denmark? So anyway, just saying like, yeah, then afterward instead of like, you know, just use his fodder.

Just like so, you're like, excuse me, what? That way, nothing goes to waste. And we ensure natural behavior, nutrition, and well-being for our predators. The zoo said it accepts donated rabbits, guinea pigs, and chickens on weekdays between 10 a.m. and 11 p.m. but no more than four at a time. Sorry, the window's closed. It also accepts horses for feeding its animals, which it says on the website are in euthanized by a zookeeper and a veterinarian.

Horses are to be donated for animal food must not have been treated for illness for at least a month and are subject to size restrictions, the zoo said on the website, they must also be in a condition where it's safe for them to be transported, given that the horse, is a donation, the donor can receive a tax deduction for its value. Our needs vary throughout the year, and there may be a waiting list. The zoo limited comments on the post after generated some responses, it called hateful. So, the line you just said about as needed, is that what you said? It was something about, like, we can only take so many animals or something.

Yeah, they're put on a, like, put on a wait list. making it sound like they're doing you a favor. Yeah, exactly. By ripping the animal away from your children to go donate it to a fucking alligator. Right. So,

this is, I mean, fine. But you guys understand what I was saying with. When you first read it, you're like, that's fucked up. Then there's also that part

where it's like, just letting your pet die and then cremating it. It could also be fed. But the way they worded it, being like I they're like not wanted anymore is so fucking fucked up like if you don't want this little shit around anymore and then I pictured here's what I pictured so there's a zoo wall and there's a drive-through lane and people are driving through and they just take their

pets and just throw them over the wall for live bait just live bait just live bait it's a fucking horse on a, like, in a, in a catapult? No, it's, it's, yeah, it's a, what it was called, fucking trebuchet? Yeah, exactly. And they pull up and they have like a little weighing station. He's like, you've got a tax deduction.

You're like, uh, oh, kiskeyev. And then, they go, yeah, what they're saying is like, oh, you qualify for tax deduction, but it sounds like is, and he goes, Kiske er. uke-o-o-e-e-be-bukin

and then they drive forward and they just go shoot a horse over a 15-foot barrier into the zoo we don't know where it's going to we don't know what animal's going to end up with it your horse is out of good life

okay and here's your tax deduction and here's your tax deduction and then just a pot of guinea pigs like a potato gun yeah with a guinea pig right out your sunroof

god you're like you've been you've been a great little kitty pig peacles and then goes some pickles have a nice flight of pickles have a good last flight of peacle and just and just shoot it into the cheated

And then right off $3.50. Or you take your, one of those fucking gerbils. You got like a whole bunch of gerbils, a box of gerbils. Fung. Yeah. Just a T-shirt canada, dude. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-h. You're like, honey, we safe to it, honey, if you didn't.

That's a vote of tax credit and a tax credit. We could buy another candy pig. We'd be stupid not to I knew This horse isn't gonna fit On the fucking Trebusha thing dude We need a bigger

Che-shirt kidding Yo We need a bigger Fucking fucking I get it But like perspective It's like It's like

Oh yeah my god It's fucked up But also like That kind of makes sense Like it put me on the fence A little bit About it Well it's different

I mean Calling them fodder Yeah And then also saying Like unwanted Small Pets Yeah I mean just

just go get it have someone fucking adopt it right like if you don't want it I mean that's kind of weird to just be like yeah we don't want

this fucking cat anymore so instead of giving it to a loving home throw it over the fence of the zoo that's for the hippopotamus load it up

fuck anyway so I get why they're getting shit because it doesn't sound good well if you do yeah I mean the verbiage

is a little cold yeah which for that part of the world sounds about right like they don't have a whole lot of they don't sugarcoat it they're just saying like this and this is what we need is what I want all that shit we have to be nice about it is not for us in America is always like fluffy fluffy fluffy

read between the lines and they're like throw it over the fence it's like your unused pets Which I kind of respect that approach Yeah, I mean, there's something to be said About straightforward approach But

Yeah, like at a bar And you're like, hey, I've been having a pretty A pretty good night You guys want you want to head back to my place and You know, see where the night goes Or you could say, would you like my dick and your puss? Same thing You're literally saying the same thing

Yeah And they have a chance to say yes or no right there I mean that isn't that why some of those apps were invented It's like We're not gonna, it's not beat around the bush here like you want to get fucked or not right and there's something to be said about that uh all right you want to move on to our next story you read this baby you got it this one is fun there's there's like there's reasons to be upset and they're like petty shit too you know

like we have petty beef but like just kind of like like revenge like petty revenge for something that happened right this guy took i think this guy took a little far too far okay a little too far Tell me more, Bri-Gai Peaved firefighter Floods Baseball Field with Firehose After Ball hits his truck Ending the game Yeah, I think that's a little too far

A peev Say it don't spray it That's how it starts Nice Oh my gosh Always something with these guys A peeped firefighter Atleashed gallons of water

onto a Maryland baseball field After a ball struck his pickup truck Bringing the Collegiate game Not a Little League game A collegiate game to an abrupt halt In the team's first game back After a series of rain cancellations The rain cancellations have just been him

This whole time Yeah, he's been shooting away in the sky Modifying the weather God, another rainy day I love how they put gallons of water in parentheses Because like what a couple gallons is going to stop a game? No We're talking how to be thousands of games

At least hundreds of gallons. No, sure, sure. The Silver Spring Tacoma Thunderbolts were forced to cancel the game due to rain out Thursday night after the field of Montgomery, Blair High School, and spring was flooded when a ball flew over the fence and landed at the neighboring fire station. I love how they call it a rainout. They're like, we don't have a classification. There's no term for this. We can't say asshole out. Yeah.

We have, there are rainouts and there are like heat advisories. Heat outs. Heat outs. And assholes. outs. Can't say that though. No. The irate bravest, is what they call him.

Blasted the field with a fire hose after the ball struck his personal car parked at Silver Spring Fire Station 16. How long has that fire station been next to that field, I wonder. And when you can put a net up, you really could put a net up. Like, they're just not counting on that many home runs. They're like, have you seen our team? We're never expecting that. Let's be honest.

We're never. no one will ever hit the ball into this parking line. Even the fire station could have put a net up. Also, who the fuck puts a parking lot behind a home run fence? Of course you're going to get fucking hit. It's the whole point. You're playing baseball. There's probably no fires and this guy was just pissed

because he wasn't getting to do anything. It's like parking your car right next to, like, behind a basketball hoop and expect your car not to get hit with the basketball. I mean, we spend a lot of time in the baseball fields and I always strategically park. I think about like, okay, the majority of giving me right-handed kids,

it's a foul it's going to go over the right side this general area it's always mindful to park in a certain area so if I was going to park my truck maybe there's no way to dodge it they can go everywhere

but I probably would have went around the corner maybe just try to get it out of the angle of where a ball could go dodge it if you can't afford it get it vehicles yeah a couple of puns there

yeah thank you there are nine nine other leagues who play here. They were not the only ones that hit home runs. Dick O'Connor founder of director of the Thunderbolts told seven news. Okay, I was wondering who you told.

Personal personnel from the fire department have been told consistently by park staff that is a dangerous area to park and leave your vehicle. I went and talked to the captain and he admitted that he did it. He did it. He did it.

And he said that he wanted to get our attention. So he's the captain. Yikes. He's not just an employee. This guy's like He didn't just get there. He worked his way up. Yeah.

He's been there plenty of time. Doing something like this. Stunned players were caught on wild footage while the torrents of water rained down on the diamond from the nearby fence. One of our players heard someone from the firehouse say,

Hey, watch out! We don't want you to get wet. Thunderboat's outfielder, Aiden Driscoll told the outlet. Probably two minutes later, all we saw was a massive stream of water basically just shooting directly on to center field. I don't think it will ever in my entire baseball career career get a fire truck rain out again. True. In quotations. Yeah. Every game

before man-made flooding had been rained out and the team was looking forward to the final finally playing. Just imagine like like God, damn we can't get a game in. Fucking rain dude like we're never going to be able to make this up. You wake up that day and you're like oh finally son we're gonna get this game out of the the way. Little did they know the fucking captain poopy pants. I was going to get mad about a home run. Captain hosy pants. I'm sure they would have gladly paid for it. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. The team would have probably covered it. Covered your $400 dent removal. War your insurance. It seemed, I don't know this guy and I don't know, but if that happened, if I went into work

every day and park there that happened i would walk out and be like oh fuck like like ah i can't believe that happened to me this my fault yeah to me this seems like there has to be like a run like a he has to be pissed like you don't just jump straight to that right unless you're fucking really hot-headed like who jumps straight to that yeah you got something a little little loose you well you got like like are they too loud and he's trying to sleep like there's something that's bugging him yeah Yep. You have to be, right?

Yes, I think so. No one jumps straight to that unless you're a fucking lunatic. Yep, I agree. I mean, all my baseball days never had something like this happen. So there's that. You know what I mean? I played softball out of these fields that had parking lots all over the outfield. But it was like you just knew not to park there.

Yeah. You get it. But yeah, so they apologized. I guess the firehouse apologized. They said that was not the correct response. Of course, what are they going to They're going to say like, yeah, they deserve it And I'm guessing with, I mean,

how many cars have been hit by home runs? If you can park behind the home run fence, something like that's going to happen. It's just like when you have those golf courses that have like a main road running down the side, it's like those cars are going to get fucking hit. And you're surprised it doesn't happen as often as it should,

but that's why they have gigantic netting right next to the road to stop that from happening. The little nine hole that I grew up playing on was right along Highway 17 and Mo's like, and I used to slice the fuck out of my drive and it would go over the highway. Like, it should have bashed way. I'm sure plenty of windows got bashed, but it probably should have happened more than it, like you said. Could have killed a man.

Yeah. Yeah. All right, you ready to start getting fancy? Learn something about etiquette. All right. Got to dive into lap time. Zach, are you ready? Okay, let's go, baby!

Hey, little chitrons. Why don't you come take a seat on Uncle Zach's lap? Gather around boys and girls It's lap time with Uncle Zach Sit on my lap, you little shits Uncle Zach All right, Zach All right

We're fucking ready You guys look ready Yeah You guys look about as etiquette as you could possibly get And I'm right there I'm etiqueted I'm on the left I'm on the left knee

Brian's on the right It's the visual for our listeners You guys are heavy Is their knee Big boys? Is they sitting on knee etiquette? Not that I know of Don't touch my crotch

Yeah, get your butt bone out of my thigh. That's it. Don't wiggle on my crotch. Don't come. Wiggle it just a little. All right. You guys are doing the very first thing of etiquette, which is wearing pants. So well done.

Barely. Look how short these are. Very barely. Oh, damn, Brian. Yeah, they're so short. I didn't know you were not leaving the last of the imagination. Almost hanging that dick out today. With a fanny pack?

Yeah, dude. Style points, man. No pockets in my shorts. Wow. It's pretty. There's no way there's a Hold on Your wallet's not fitting in that

That's a grown ass man I don't think I would ever I don't think I would wear shorts out and about That didn't have pockets Like if I had to carry it The option of putting on a fanny pack Wouldn't even cross my mind Oh they're so great

How would like just put on shorts That have pockets Normally I do These they're running shorts They don't have pockets Did you run here? No Oh

Thought about it Thought about it He drove here at lights I just like how short and warm they are Or cool, they are. A little sexy. Yeah. They are sexy.

I get it. Yeah. But get the fuck off my lap with those things. Put some pants on. Put some pants on, baby. All right. You guys are ready? I'm ready.

You guys are close to proper posture. Would you like to know the proper posture? Yes. Sit upright with shoulders back. Okay. More shoulder back. Keep elbows off the table to maintain an elegant appearance. Is this at dinner?

Yeah. Oh, this is even worse? Did you imagine just doing Brian at dinner? Is this right? You want to lead with the nipples, yeah. You're doing it. Can I get an extra bun, sir? What's fork do I do?

Can he sit out an extra bun for me? He looked great. That's perfect. Wow. My chest hurts. Oh. Now imagine you have a napkin. You guys know what to do with the napkin.

Cross your lap? At what point? Immediately upon sitting and use it gently to dob the mouth, not wipe. There will be no wiping. There will only be, yes. That's close to a wipe. There you go. Same like what you would do with, like, your butthole.

Yes. Or whatever. You always dab your butt hole. Yeah, you don't want to really wipe in there. You can just spread shit all over your ass. Yeah. Yeah. Like a slow circular dab.

Anyway, back to you. So you guys know that there can be lots of utensils on the table at an eloquent, eloquent. Yeah, I mean, I've been poor my whole life. So I've only been in a confusing utensil situation, like a handful of times. Right. Like, I shouldn't be there. someone else that was doing better than me that's how I ended up there wasn't

Joe stop licking your plate I wasn't walking I wasn't like hey you guys want to go out to this spot like I got invited to the spot that put me in that situation what is the fanciest place you've ever been to do you think some private event don't want to talk about it fair enough yeah I don't know

but like some just like private resort event something like that or like some house stuff growing up there's some super rich people around me and I go to like a dinner and there'd be too many things things.

I was just used to like buttered noodles. And maybe if I got lucky, like some cinnamon toast. I'm talking about buttered sausage. How to eloquently butter the sausage. All right. So basically the rule is use utensils correctly, starting from the outside in, holding them lightly and gracefully. Which I'm not sure how that looks. So not like this.

Definitely not like that. Oh, that's a good one. Definitely not with the gloves on. I have a really good friend who still eats like that. Left hand is. and grips it like it's a fucking screwdriver. Like he's trying to bite something loose on a radiator.

And it's just, he says a fork. You still do this? Does he lean over the plate too? Yeah, it's a fucking shovel which I get it because that's what it is. It's a tiny shovel. But there's no the food's coming to him. One or one way or another. Fucking getting in there, brother.

That's what my dad used to always say. Yep. Kicked out. I just visualized the like leaning over the plate. Like you're like, you're ready to elbow anybody that's going to fucking get in your after dinner one of the yard wrestling fuck easy dude dude loosen up that grip chill out you're terrifying anyway back to me yep back to me so now let's talk about chewing and bites you can imagine that you're not supposed to shovel like your friend there small bites take small manageable bites to facilitate

conversation and avoid chewing with an open mouth dur that I think we all know that that's always in there i always visualized like someone taking their fork and taking a bite but with their top teeth and their tongue like um just gently and then barely even chewing like well hold on that last statement you just said sucks because it says take small manageable bites to facilitate conversation but don't talk with your mouth open seems like it's a little bit yeah how do you saying you want a bite that's so small that you can answer a question get it over with yeah without someone being like so anyway brian what is it the that you do and he's got steak falling out

you're like ripping the steak you're you just got stuck with a butt biscuit in your mouth an entire butt biscuit but you're twisting the twisting the meat to rip it out of your teeth well I just got a tattoo of a hot air blue it's on fire he's my buddy Joe he's the goose with the

glasses and I got the hat on obviously that's me with the hat on I mean that's an inside joke but it's tripping food So anyway, that's what I've been up to. Is your daughter single? Well, the chewing noises are the next thing that we're going to want to take care of.

Silent chewing is part of etiquette. Brian's good at being silent with his mouth. Like when it comes to like burpin or the blow jobs or this kind of stuff. Or drinking coffee. He's more of a gentleman with the blow jobs. Yeah. Well, chew quietly, mouth close to show respect for the fellow diners. For the fellow diners.

I do chew. That's one thing that even though I don't have great etiquette, I do not, I chew with my mouth closed and I try to remind my boys all the time because there's back there with chips just like, just, and just crumbs falling everywhere. I'm like, every time I hear it, it makes me cringe. I think there's a phobia for it, isn't there, Zach? Yeah. Yeah.

I actually, I think I have that. It drives me fucking crazy. Yeah, I think is what it is. That is. Well, misophonia. Misothonia. Uh, no. Next thing, pacing the meal.

I like this one because it puts a little stress on you. So you have to be paying attention. You have to match the host or group's eating pace To maintain a harmonious Not waiting for you to take a bite There's a rhythm for the rich people It's fuck you There's a rhythm

Yep You need to figure it out We need to chew in sequence I think you need to figure out the beats per minute And just kind of Bites per minute Bites per minute Nice

There we go Still got it Yeah Now of course we know please and thank you Those are the police requests Police and thank you Thank the police when we're done pro blue brother

Blue line brother Could you imagine that After you're done You're eating your meal Is that a praying Everyone who holds hands Like to think the blue Like to think the boys in blue

What? What? All right Contributing to the conversation Now that we've got everything polite You Basically avoid politics and religion Is the rule

For even the richy riches That's kind of interesting That is interesting I don't see why I like to just ruin What if you're making fun of religion? legend? Not good.

What if you're making fun of politics? Depends on the family, I think. See, that's what I would say, read the room. Yeah. What if the host dives into politics? What if you're eating at Trump's table? What if you are Trump's table? What are we doing?

So don't talk about anything fun. Don't add yet, exactly. Nothing important should be spoken about. Got it. The weather? Yeah, the weather. Very fair. And obviously, no fun.

phones but how about this one treat servers with courtesy making eye contact and offering thanks for their service i do that okay hold on do we need to learn that i think that should be number one brother it's just good i want to go back good manners i'll go back with just a little bit a little bit so these etiquette things they strike me as old timey shit right because it's just changed so much so this whole fucking pacing to the host uh and not talking about certain things and then they just put in like no tech no phones And then I picture when they wrote this rule, it was just landlines. Right?

So not too. We're just like, everybody has the extension, the extra long cords. Yeah. Sitting at the table. You're like, here. And you're like, reaching over and getting the conversation, handing the mashed potatoes. All the, all the butlers are walking around, like, dodging, like, playing limbo with phone cords. It's, and there's just 10 rich people on landlines.

Sell. doing double dutch sell sell no go short sell short sell anyway no politics all right back to you all right here's a wine etiquette oh hold wine glasses by the dick yes by the dick with your pants off it's got to be the bottom of the bowl by the stem exactly without so otherwise you'll warm the wine with your hand right and you must sip slowly and appreciatively it's very important to be appreciative of the grapes that sacrifice themselves for your inebriation. Yeah. Okay, I get it. You know what's funny about this is you talked about a show appreciation to the waiter

and all that. I've always seen in the movies and stuff, they never even acknowledge the waiter. The rich people, they come and sit down and they're just like having their conversation like, hey, I'm doing. Because it makes them look way more stuck up if they don't give a fuck around. I agree. Evil. But isn't that kind of contrast to what? I don't think I would listen to Hollywood about a lot of things about how to do anything. Right. Fair. Okay. Next thing. Bread etiquette. We've already talked about. Bredicate? Breda kit. Poop it

out. Okay. Mike drop on the breticket. Break bread into small pieces. Butter each piece individually, so not a whole... And avoid cutting with a knife. Fuck you. You're not allowed to use a knife. Depends on the bread. You should see me at Texas Roadhouse, dude. I'm like,

what? Yeah. Fuck yeah. You got your peanuts? They don't have any... I don't. I don't have any, I don't I don't think they have in there now. Oh, they got rid of them because it was a fucking disaster. Yeah. If you don't know what we're taught, is Texas Roadhouse everywhere? Yeah.

The whole country? Pretty much, yeah. Even in Texas? No. Okay, it seems like Texas would be. A lot of Texas Roadhouse. Only in Oklahoma. They don't go past there.

Oh, man. Texas Roadhouse, it's like a fucking Outback Steakhouse. But even a little more dumb. But you can shoot guns in it. Well, it's America. Outback is Australian. Well, you get it. Same type of dumb.

The men used the same ounce down sale on only $14. The men used the same. It's just way too much shit and they have like people dance in its country. But when they first started, you could just eat fucking peanuts and spit them on the floor. You'd eat them and just

throw them on the floor. It's like, why not just keep them on the table? Why not be respectful? Why have to smash them into the floor? Because this America? Yeah. And they thought it was a cool thing and then I'm guessing it just turned into a nightmare. We fucking do what we want in America. The amount of money that is spent on just cleaning up peanut

shells. What's fucking, God damn yeah we're a little ways away from the etiquette uh okay okay so obviously that one that one tasting before seasoning i like this one taste food before adding salt or pepper to respect the chef's preparation that that's one that people would forget because they're going right for the ketchup but people put ketchup on a steak yeah yeah fucking idiot you got some a one get out get the fuck out both you guys but i mean if the steak sucks then you should be able to put something on it true But you got to give it a chance You get the best steak I've ever had

I'm putting fucking ketchup on it Pussies is not about your steak It's about me Just be happy You can do what you want I bought this steak Shut the fuck up See that's so funny because I get

I get I get I I guess I want to say I get both sides But I do get Joe's side It's like I paid for the steak Who gives a shit Like what if I don't like it The way you make it And even if I love it

I love ketchup more than your steak You fucking bitch Then your Michelin Star It's not about you I just like the squishiness I like the texture of adding a little ketchup to it chefs are I've been around them

they're pretty yeah but I don't care no I'm just saying they're pretty yeah I get it shit but fuck you I want your food they think they're like the like rock stars yeah and I'm ruining what they've done oh okay imagine imagine like some

some artist like you like Da Vinci puts out this thing and you're like yeah I and you slap it like a target frame I know I'm what I'm saying is like you have this just this glorious piece of art and you slap it in like a target frame

or something. It's a fucking steak not a fucking Picasso Crow-up. I'm saying they think that it's that. And what they think is wrong. Right. I agree. I agree. I'm just saying that's the way they Yeah. I think. That's what they think. I know being just overly

fucking dramatic. But you're not wrong. But also fuck you. Yeah, you're not wrong. You're still getting the same amount of money. And I'm not going to Yelp review your steak. So see you later. So fuck thanks for it. Imagine that review. It's like the steak was good.

And yes, steak is good also without ketchup. I get it. I've done that a billion times in my life. And it's not about your steak. Sometimes it's like the squishiness. Do what makes it feel happy. It makes it up. It makes it nice.

If it makes you happy, Joe, we support you. Thank you. So I'm not anti-c ketchup on a steak. I'm not anti. You can do whatever the fuck you want with your life. But here's the thing. Oh. I don't, I guess I don't necessarily get the, I would use, I'd rather use like,

a barbecue sauce. So the ketchup thing, it's a weird choice for me because of what it is, not that you're using it. Right. And the barbecue is even more intense to me than ketchup. Like it even covers the flavor more. A1 covers it more than ketchup does. It does. But if you're... But it's been marketed

as a steak sauce. So then it gets a little more of a pass. But the tanginess inside barbecue covers up the fucking taste, even more than just ketchup. A1 was a steak sauce in like the Civil War. I think it started in the Civil War. Yep. So taste buds have changed a little bit, I think.

I don't like A1. No, thank you. Yeah. No, thank you. I mean, it's whatever. I'll take regular barbecue sauce. Can I put hot sauce on my steak? How about, you don't get to fucking dump?

There are so many barbecue sauces now. You go to the store and it's just like so many fucking brands, dude. I can't keep up with tomorrow, man. Anyway. All right. Well, your shoulders have slumped, so you're all kicked out. Oh, no, I'm good. But now I would like to ask you a question.

How? Now, obviously, you would excuse yourself by saying something polite, right? Fuck you? Okay, so that would be not that. Oh, I got a shit. Also, not that. But what would you do with your napkin, gentlemen, when you get up to leave once you've said your pleasantries? Okay.

Eat it. Okay. I'd look for the nearest trash stand and shoot it. Just shove it in my ass. Okay, I'm giving you half points for that. No, I'm going to say, it's going to be either. On the plate. Oh, it's a good guess.

Good guess. It is a good guess. Oh, he buzzed you. That is correct. Incorrect, but eh. Chair. chair for the win chair for the win so

more shit for the fucking cleaner to clean up you wipe your chair down now I pissed in it and I shit in it now he's got to wipe my what you shouldn't probably poop in your napkin also how much stuff is on your napkin

I didn't know we could leave I gotcha I thought we were pacing ourselves with the host yeah I have to pace if they don't get up to pee I don't get to pee you just pissed yourself yeah some wear a diaper next time

I love this one so this is to to pivot to hosting. If you're hosting an etiquette event, prioritized guest comfort, they're offering refills or seconds before serving oneself. That's easy, right? Yeah. I'm going to go ahead and do that all at the same time. Because it doesn't feel nice too, though, when you think about etiquette, if you have a drink and if you were to say, hey, I'm going to get one. Do you guys want anything? Isn't that? That's fine. But you also are putting yourself first, but also tying them in. putting yourself first but you're like

if i wasn't going over here i would not be offering to get you guys more oh yeah this is saying that you would offer go get them one before you would just say hey i'm going over to get more but if you saw if you were sitting there and you saw some guy take like his last drink and you noticed it would would you not go like hey you want another drink or whatever i mean i don't know does he have legs if you like him i mean does he have legs like the fuck up and go get it's that for how's that for i was really good fuck you give me a beer give me a ketchup I like this one, because this one, there's no way anybody has this one in their brains. This is proper cutlery resting.

So rest utensils on a plate when you've used them, not the table, between bites, with the handles at four o'clock. At four o'clock. Four o'clock, according to which the top is going to be noon. Like a clock. But everyone's four o'clock is different. Well, my, I mean, I'm left-handed versus right-handed. So do I get to put my... You're not even allowed in the building, Buffy.

Sorry. No wonder I haven't been invited to any of these. Is it like true north? Is it like true 4 o'clock? Or is according to your... No, it's going to be your plate. Your plate is noon. Whatever top of your plate is.

I'm sorry. I thought you made on the table. No, absolutely not on the table. That's the cardinal... I'll put it on the chair with a napkin. I'm going to put it straight up under my napkin. Prop it up so someone splits their ass on it. But four o'clock, you can picture it.

I don't know how you do the left-hand side. Is there a reason behind that? Why four-clock? No idea. Because someone just made it up. It's five o'clock somewhere, so why not put it on five o'clock? Just not there, I guess. On five o'clock of this dinner party.

It's five o'clock where peon-popper cunts are, but not for these folk. All right, so obviously no reaching, request items to be passed rather than reaching across the table, maintaining your decorum. You don't want to look like a cunt. So don't reach. Don't reach for the potatoes. Just ask them to be sent down to you. That's something we pee on proper cunts could do too.

We could if we wanted to. With your tiny little T-Rex arms. Like, can you pass the salt? It's right there. Like it's literally, but you can't get up like an extra foot. What if they toss them to you? Where's the salt? And the guys, the guy down here tosses it to you, spills it everywhere.

Fucking banks it off his forehead, just head butts it to you. Here you go, buddy. I'm curious what you think of this one, because soup sometimes has served at these Richie Rich. You slurp. Yes. Oh. Spoon soup away from oneself. I'm trying to even picture that and sip quietly from the side of the spoon. Away. So you have to spoon away. Not into you like a shovel. You have to go the opposite direction. Oh, fuck you. Go fuck yourself. Yeah. Fuck off.

And then you bring it. Then you bring it to you sideways too, right? You don't turn it to your mouth. You get out from the side. That's right. It's not shaped that way. No, it's not. Well, yeah, soup bowls are more round. What? No, the spoon. Soup spoons are more round. Yes. So they are shaped.

It's not an oval. I guess I'm not rich enough to have a proper. You're picturing an oval spoon where it's not. I'm picturing a spoon. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever not gone to like a nice restaurant or to chowder or something? No, it would be nice though.

Dude, I do that at fucking Coralien Resort. Do you suck from the side of your spoon? No, I go, oh! I throw the spoon and fucking pick it up. Well, I get clam chowder, so I can't suck up a fucking clam through there. Throw the spoon, then pour it into a, like, a fucking beer bong. Just suck it down. Remember in the old days when, like, in the, just, you know, the olden days, like back in the olden times?

No, like with a, like, the fucking, like, uh. With a spoon with a shotgun? Like, Spartacus days or something. You just hand them, like, the bread and the soup or water, and there's like, no silver where they're just, they're basically drinking the soup. And they're dabbing the bread into the suit. The way it's supposed to be. Sparicus was a slave, though.

So, wouldn't he? Yeah, he was a slave. So they probably were like, you know, fuck you. Like, eat off the floor. They didn't want to give him a weapon. No. True. No, no.

All right. That's why you beat him down enough to where you. They respect you. I thought the soup thing was a little bit crazy because that's nobody's heard. Nobody's heard of that. So a lot of these, the next few are going to be very obvious. Avoid slouching, gentlemen. Very nice.

Lead with the nipples. maintain an upright posture throughout the meal to convey attentiveness and that you're not a pee on popper cunt. That you actually care what they're talking about? It looks like you do when you do that. Now the next one is complimenting the chef. So like when I'm on the podcast,

don't lay down like this while Joe's talking. It makes the listeners feel like you don't care. That's the worst. Oh, my back hurt. It wasn't about interest. It was about my back. So am I supposed to put my interest in you before my back?

I think so in polite society. It sounds like exactly what we're saying. You're supposed to hurt yourself so they don't look and bring shame to your family. If my back hurts, I can't engage. Then you bring shame to your family. That's just how it goes. And you will not be invited back. I'm going to rapid fire a couple of these because these are ridiculous.

But compliment the chef. I think you actually just go find him. Is there a time to do it? Yeah. All the time. He's like brings out your water. You're like, please give my compliments to the chef. Please like, well, no.

Probably after you've ingested it. I would have. Compliments to the chef. Obviously. no table, no elbows on the table. Everybody knows that. Handling spills gracefully. Oh, my shit.

Oh, my goodness. Discreetly managed spills with a napkin, avoiding drawing attention to the mishap. My penis is wet. Don't draw attention to it, so don't grab the tablecloth and like, I seem to have poured broccoli cheddar on my penis. Compromise to the chef. Abortion!

Throw a knife into the wall. and then eat a fucking napkins. Slapp a baby in your bed. I kept going to McDonald's. Just striking out on every one of them. Suck my dick, abortion. Penises wet. Where's the ketchup? Where's the ketchup?

Fuck the chef. And then just tripped the waiter. And just shoot a hamster into the wall. Hogan, boygan. Trup! Virga, Kijirgin from the Bajirgan river. Kyrgyz. Jerkin, fuck a hamster.

Jerk off into a napkin. Where's the ketchup? Thanks, chef! It's the napkin stiff, so you're making a little tower out of it on the table. It's fully calm. Stand it up. That's not on here, but playing with your food and making it into a Lego land toy is probably not going to get you. You're not going to get that business partnership with the guy.

Or unless you're having a, it's a dinner with Legos. Fair enough. Like the CEO of Legos? Yeah. And you just make the most impressive. like tater tot pyramid he's like all right just give me some leg as you can imagine what i can do it looks it looks like the london bridge now i only have a few more and we're going to be properly up to speed with how to dine with the rich i feel i feel better already i do too wow i do too as i'm biting

my skin and spitting it into the room you're killing it brother you're killing it i'd rather eat with you anyway uh waiting for all begin eating only after everyone is served or the host starts and less directed otherwise. You're just sitting and you're like, yeah. He's like, he's picking up his play. He's like, oh, and then we were in Milan and then he does this. And then, well, we weren't.

Was it Milan? And everyone was just like, fuck! Eat the butt biscuit! That this whole time someone just shitting the food out? Eat the butt. So only one piece of time. Butter one. Eat the butt biscuit.

All right. You don't want to drink out of the wine glass with pop. So you want to use the correct glass. Okay. Those are pretty easy to tell. You don't want to overload your plates because modest portions make you look like, you know, you have some kind of taste and or... Fuck off. Discretion.

You should see my golden corral plate back in the day. I bet. Mine too. Just slather everything on there. Zero restraint. Zero restraint. That's what all you can eat places for. Or buffet.

Yeah. Now, also, when you're talking to these people, I'm trying to get money out of them, show interest in others' conversation, avoiding interruptions or dominating the discussion. You don't want to dominate the people that are... Dominate. ...will feel than you. This one's fun. Proper fork use. Oh.

This is kind of controversial, I think, because which hand do you guys use to hold your fork? Right. Left. Okay, left and right. But I also eat finger food with my left hand. I use a fork with my right. Okay. All right.

Use the fork in the left hand in continental style, or on the right hand. hand for the American style as appropriate. But now you have to figure out if they're continental, European continental or not. What? That's important. So if you go to a hotel in the offer of continental breakfast, are you supposed to use your left hand?

I think you fucking nailed it. If you're going to, once in Rome, when in Rome, you should run it up. Any time for proper etiquette is a motel six. You can practice. The pool's close. The waffle machine.

Oh, shit, the pool's close, but I have to. Do you have to practice proper continental etiquette here of course when's the pool close it's never been open yeah all right it's green there's like a goose family living in i would not recommend getting in the green pool all right thank you i will leave immediately i got i got a couple stupid ones left no food pushing avoid pushing food around the plate take only what will be eaten it is very rude to not finish your plate oh like moves move don't push it around like it looks like eight god don't play with your food why do they have to write that

I don't know. Like trying to hide like some little food under a salad leaf. I think it's just rude to move mashed potatoes around your plate. You know, I don't know why. Yeah. All right. Last two. Polite declining.

Graciously decline unwanted dishes with a simple no thank you without explanation. Okay. Before you put it on your plate and offend everyone by not eating it. And the last one is, of course, to thank the host. Just take a whole steak. Yeah. And then not eat it. I guess I wasn't as hungry as I thought I was.

Thank you. And just push to get the whole steak. steak and then just put your salad on top of it. Slathered ketchup. Thanks for having me. Thank you. Put your napkin on top of it. Well, that was good, Zach. Well, do you feel like you know stuff now? Yeah. Use the utensils on the outside. That's really like the only take away. And don't be a cunt. Unless they set the table wrong, then you look like an idiot. Right. Or just avoid people that have these kind of things on their food habits. Well, what's, what's funny is like,

there's all this, there's all this, you know, all these rules and all these stuff for these little things. but still the main ones are just don't be a dick yeah it's a good one just be respectful it seems like that should kind of play into everything 90% of those were common sense right yeah yeah and then all the other stuff is just to show how astute you are can you imagine setting your fork down and trying to get it just right

at 4 o'clock you're like it looks like 425 you're like looking at your watch yeah how about that I do. All right. I go by military time. It's still the same, though. 16 o'clock. It's for the left-hand side.

Yeah. Well, thanks, Zach. My pleasure. That was fun. I appreciate that. We learned. All right, let's get off to some good news.

Okay. Ready to do it? Yeah. Zach, fucking let's go, baby! So you're telling me there's a chance. Hooray, we aren't doomed. Yeah! You guys know that crows are smart

and stuff. They're also really loud and weird sounding. Yeah, and they take shit. So a gold bangle, stolen by a crow, not the tiger. Don't worry about that. Stoned by a crow? Is it? No, a gold bangle.

Stolen by a crow. Never stole. Return to owner after three years. And this one, I don't remember this story. You guys stopped me when you heard this one. You can have it back. Each one of us has heard the story of the thirsty crow when we were kids. Have you guys heard?

No. No. cultural difference remember how intelligent that bird is who used stones to bring the water to the brim of a vessel so could quench its thirst which I think you get it now right

no so there's water in a cup but the cup was too small for the bird to get down to the bottom of the cup to drink the water so the bird brought stones in and dropped it into the water to bring the water higher up in the cup so they could then drink it

I haven't heard that one a lot of people would I've heard yeah I've heard Humpty Dummies um like the old like the old maid i've heard those ones i didn't hear about the thirsty crow you hear about the lady with the shoe and had a bunch of kids in the shoe your uterus heard that one and then the one that was like sitting on a tuffet yeah i hate that one yeah so anyway i didn't get the i like andrew dice clay's version of those more if you know i'm not sure if you heard that she had so many kids a fucking uterus fill out yeah so anyway uh this

story almost instantaneously decided that indeed crows are one of the smartest in the animal kingdom And they really are. So this, and this story is no less a reflection of the crow's intelligence. Almost three years ago, one Rukmini, these words are going to be just impossible for me. I can say, Yeah, trick along again in Malapapurum district of Kerala had taken off her 12 gram gold bangle while working in her backyard and placed it nearby. But was shocked to find it missing when she returned to pick it back up. She immediately started to search for the missing ornament and wondered whether it had been stolen.

She searched and researched, but it wasn't to be found. The loss of the pricey item was too much for her to bear, and after some time, she made peace with herself that the bangle had been stolen. Just had to move on. So the gold bangle was also, that was apparently stolen by a crow and returned to the owner after three years. Nonetheless, like every fairy tale, the story too has a happy ending. The turning point came when an advertisement from the, trick a collogoggle library was placed seeking the owner of a gold bangle three months ago and vassadolff a tree climber by profession had handed over the gold wait wait wait wait wait what tree climber by profession yeah i didn't write the article like you see everyone can cry because can climb a tree but you're not a professional tree climber they're a cool school so they go up there and cut down fruit oh that's what they do uh had handed over the gold found under a mango tree to library authorities to be returned to to its owner. After learning about the

Bengal, Rukmini reached the library along with her husband. The Bengal incidentally was recovered from a crow's nest that had fallen from a mango tree. Anwar, Sada's daughter. This article just introduces characters that they haven't

even fucking told us about. And just assumes you can read it. And it's like, by the way, do you remember she's talking? Do you remember what I told you about? Fuck my God! Papa God's daughter It's the first time you mention him For those that aren't watching

Joe's glasses just flung off across the room I don't know who you're talking about Who had accompanied him to pick mangoes Saw the shiny bangle between the branches Of the fallen nest However, it broke while trying to determine If it was gold Soon the father's daughter duo handed over

The broken pieces to the library In search for their owner So it turns out These things disappeared they were just found in a goddamn nest by a stranger and then they got these like I'm not sure how much they didn't say how much they were worth I was trying to like determine that

a shiny bangle I don't know dude it's a lot of money so I can't imagine losing something of that value to a fucking crow and then later this guy who's a tree climber was just like here you go and instead of him taking them too that's crazy

he was like I'm gonna give him the library he could have been done he could have been done climbing trees that's three grand an ounce Yeah, it's nuts So, there you go How many ounces was it? Did they say?

No, they just told us Fucking character's daughter names Hotty meika, who's he got us Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. All right. So anyway, good news Good news for them getting that shit back Super fun. Super fun. That was nice of that guy.

Yeah, that's very nice. All right, moving on. Zach fuck! Come on! The internet is pretty wild. Depending on your browsing habits. you can either experience something super cool or go to prison crazy right let's check it out together as a couple hey look what i found yes that's awesome i realized that this particular story might not be

that great for just listeners of the show but i feel like maybe if i set it up you'll get the comedy that's going on behind it and you can also look it up so there's a trend that you may or not heard about, and I have a small part in the back of my brain that is telling me that I knew that this existed, but I'm not sure if I did, and if I have, it's been a while, but

people get, it's been a while like people get in car accidents or something, and then someone will drive by and say they can't park there. Yeah. Have you heard of this? Oh yeah. Awesome. I've seen the videos for you. Okay. So, I haven't seen it for a really long time. And here's the second.

Fuck off. Yeah. So someone put together a compilation. of like the hey you can't park here and I just want to show it and the reason why I think this is so funny and there's no way anybody out there's familiar with beautiful Liberty Lake

Washington like it's just an outskirt area of Spokane where we have like a nice lake a bunch of golf courses and way less homeless and fentanyl overdoses so that's why this place is growing

but there's an intersection that's right you know when you had in to the main part of town and there's just the fuck it feels like there's a car crash every day well it's because it's you're getting off the freeway there's a bridge

and it's a lot going on I don't think they plan for like the population boom because it's a fucking shit show like the speed limit is like 35 miles an hour and that's where all the stores are and it's a four lane road and no one everyone's coming out of every which way so there's always a fucking car accident

and that gets reminded me that if I get a chance to the next time I see a car accident I think I've seen like five or six just in the three months that we've been here I might go by and say hey dude you can't park here okay so anyway here's a little little

you can't park your car here are you serious hey you can't park there under a snowbank under a giant snowbank oh look at that you found it that means we can fix

your car I just wanted to say uh you can't park there man crashed into the store okay you just can't you can't park there hey hey you can't park there you can't park there obviously you fucking dumb ass Ferrari shit you can't park that there mate fuck off fuck off excuse me mate you can't park there what can't park there mate Come get you. You're right, da.

You can't park this, huh? That's just a cop, like on the highway. Yeah. I'm going to breathalize you because I think you're drunk. Oh, God. I'm a breatherize you. I think you're drunk. That's what you get for...

I should have a bit of fun. Yeah, I should have a bit of fun calm down. Horky, like it? Oh, I think you's joggy, rocking. Anyway, so there's a little trend. I'd love to see you guys as videos if you come across it. Send it into Hey, guys, at Candy You Don't Park Desk.com. I'm torn there because I

I get why it's funny It's not funny to them in the moment It's in the moment They're like They're like a Their car Like that guy drove into a building

And the building fell on the car Yeah And he's like You could tell he's obviously panicked Yeah I mean in the moment Of course people are gonna be pissed But then later he's like

I can't park there Yeah He's like he was right Yeah I'm not wrong It's not a place to park It's not a good time to say it But have you heard our show? Right. Yeah. So anyway, if you guys ever come across that and you're able to pull off a, hey,

you can't park there, please send it in. Again, hey guys, at can you know podcast. Are we condoning it? Is that what you're saying? We're not condoning car accidents and don't do it if like they're dead. Like if it's like a fatality, don't say that. That's not funny. Like if you see a car crash and they're dead in the car, don't film it and walk up like you can't park there. You knock it on the window and they're not waking up. And they're dead. So that's not funny. That's too far. but if they guess fuck up and hit a fire hydrant Yeah, if they're fine If they're okay

If everyone's fine Yeah, just use your best judgment Go ahead and send that It wouldn't leave this lot To the best judgment No, it is not Fuck off A fuck off

All right, time to hear from the kids Zach! Hey, Lou Geh All right, let's hear what you guys Really? You want to talk to me? Wow, that's cool Wow. All righty, Joe.

What's the guy here? Our first email is coming in from our smarty-pants son, Steve. Okay. He writes, yo. Yo. Yo, no. In regards to a previous episode on 730, 20, 25, Putin, music, bingo, nest pencil party. You guys really hit...

Yeah. That's a title. It is. You guys really hit the nail in the head. Best episode, MIO, in my opinion. I have a few FYIs, but they're intended to be informative, not critical. Okay. number one alarm fatigue is a thing in medicine alarms are constantly going off especially

if you're in nursing i'm lucky enough to be in the basement because i work in pharmacy but ignoring alarms is something that happens it's not good but it happens so i'm not surprised that someone would do something like that okay so this is pertaining to the music bingo yeah story that we shared where they were playing music bingo and the alarms going off were annoying so they silenced them and the guy died. So don't do that. And we just have Steve in here saying like, hey, not their fault. Steve, come on.

It's your job. It'd be like if we were recording and then I guess like shut off our microphones because hearing myself was annoying. Like you got to be able to hear my off because it was annoying. Just talking. I was talking over here. It's like, yeah, I got Brian fatigue. I'll take it from here.

No, but I get. I think I responded to this email and I said, no, I get it. Like when kids are loud and annoying. but you have to get shit done and you just shut it down they'd be like I lost my leg and you're just like

we'll figure it out later God just put a band-aid on it you guys quit fighting yeah I get it okay number two Bwain was right on point

when he said surgeons could do it in their sleep they have to watch countless videos of surgeries then practice countless times to the point where they're bored I believe most of them could do it in their sleep

okay so I was right okay got it noted Do you hear that? No, yeah. Number three, first time I ever had to bring a medication into one of our operating rooms, surgeons and surgical texts were performing a femur nailing.

Excuse me? That's a porn hub search. Yeah, getting your old femur nailed. Femer nailing compilation? T-de-fuck femurred. Fucking step-mom femur nailing? Big-titty femur nailing? Which is exactly what it sounds like.

I don't remember. what they were listening to, but it was something like ZZ Top, Sharp, Just Man, so they were casual about it. And go crazy bad a shop dress. Birdie Lynn. Just grove and fucking... Hudson.

Red tune. Got a nannit and not a dated you. Just nailing the fever on the piece. Again. Give me God crazy about a about a fever nailing man. Boom, boom. Bam, bam.

That all being said, it is extremely responsible to neglect a patient. Regardless of whatever's going on in your life or how bored you might be, you've taken an oath to do no harm. Sorry for the ramblings. Hope the insight was helpful. Peace and love, my daddies, Joe and Bwion and big hug for Uncle Zach! I'll take it. Steve.

Thanks, Steve. We haven't gone crazy about a shit. Just fucking nailing a femur. Just I'm just like behind you. Just hitting it like it's one of those All the, we all had them growing up Where you can nail the wood.

Oh yeah, right. Pagan. We haven't gone crazy. And it's just students watching from the observatory And you're just dancing with You have fucking ZZ top glasses on nailing a femur. Fake beard on. Like, dude, I knew I picked the right profession.

This is awesome. All right, so our next email is coming in from fucking RJ. He writes, hey fuckos and Zach. I learned the correct spelling, so suck it. Well done. He did. He did the cue. I writing the this fuck, maybe how, what?

Just fucking with Brian. That's what it sound. That's what it's how you sound like that one else. Yeah. That's what I'm meant to say. I set this end because Joe was talking about the dump and the dude, Smashing Windows. Remember that one?

Where the chuck of glass barely missed my cap. Then we just stared at each other and then he went back to smashing windows again. After almost maybe really hurting me. I used to work at a party store back in the day. I worked stocking shelves and helping customers up front. I was a bit older than most workers. I was 20 and most of them were 16. 16.

That's the thing about working at party stores. You know what I mean? They stay the same age. You get it. One day, I was in the back and showed a kid what it was like to toss fluorescent light bulbs, the long tube ones. God, it's fun. Out there on the pavement. They explode with the bang.

Yes, they do. There was three bad bulbs. So I tossed one, and he tossed one. I closed the back door, and he said, that was cool. Fuck, yeah, dude. I told him not to tell management. I showed him how to do that. I went back to working up front and came back with a garbush.

bag when I opened the back door the lot was littered with shards of white glass. This dude threw two cases of new bulbs out on the concrete. Wow! Thanks, Dad! I turned and looked at him and he said, and he said, you were right, that's fun. Neither

others are. What you do! Look what you've done! Neither of us got fired because no cameras or management never went out back. I was ready to kill him. but because we never got caught I was just kind of jealous that he got to have all the fun

peace out RJ and that's funny because that's exactly the feelings I went through I was like you fucking idiotic is throwing windows and then I got back in my car and I was like just wash for minutes I was like wow I think it's pretty cool It's pretty fun

I wish I could do that I fucking wish he'd offer to fucking that's what I think of what I'm most upset about he didn't even know if you didn't let me throw a window All right well that's episode 165 Hope you guys had a blast again check these out dude these tats

oh these old things yeah how shiny it is I know feel like I'm an action hero with like greased up yeah you're moved up about to swing on something

yeah I go save some chick and then take her back and fucking and then give her nail her just nail her femur I send stuff in

you want to see on the show what just happened to my muscle tightened up are you okay I'm telling you that spot right there oof I went I went to flex like that

and it just It just seized up. That's what you get for being too strong. That's right. Send in content to hey guys at can you don't podcast.com. Again, thanks to honkathon and thanks to all the golden geese. Head over to patreon.com slash can you don't podcast. It's been amazing, truly, to see the support over the last month or so.

It is completely exploded. Yeah. So head on over there. We want to get Brian's eyes checked because fuck, I think, is. That's a good reason, right? Yeah. Okay. I rate and review us, wherever you listen to the podcast.

Go check out what Uncle Zach is doing. Yeah. He's not feeling so good today. Yeah. Appreciate him sticking it out. We got back to backs and backs this week, so suck it up, big boy. I'm sucking. Go check out what he's doing at scatcast.com.

That's scat with a K. And a shout out to the babysitters. I know we got some new ones in there, moderating the Can You Don't Playground on Facebook. I got something funny if you guys to think about to wrap this thing up. Yeah, real quick, though. What? Just want to say thanks to all the people that message about my little pup.

Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. It was rough. It was rough. And I'm not going to say, I'm not going to speak on it because I don't want to get all teary-eyed. But a lot of people sent out messages, condolences, and so thank you. Well, and like I told you in text, I was very happy to get a lot of love the last time I was over at your house filming stuff. Oh, yeah.

I feel like she knew something. Yeah. She was hanging out. I was just hanging out, just carrying around all day. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, I'm appreciative for that moment. It was only a couple weeks ago.

That's awesome. But I'm sorry. She was my special gal. I know. I know. So thank you. I love you. And everyone else loves you.

Fucking this trip. It was really tough to talk about the pets thing. I was like, I shifted gears really quick when I watched your head dip down. I was like, never mind. Quit describing dogs. This is the first day I feel like I've been able to kind of just bounce back a little bit. Yeah.

When we were getting tattoos, it had just happened. I was trying so many things to cheer you up. I just didn't work. I was like doing dances. It felt really bad because we're here for the geese and stuff. It was like, I could not want to do anything less than this right now. Well, you stuck with this for the rest of your life. So there's that.

All right. Well, we'll transition from sadness to this. going to be tough. You ready? I guess. I don't know what's coming. Zach! Good God.

Wrap it up already, huh? All right. So due to morning wood and differing time zones and the rotation of the earth, there's a giant crowd wave of rising dicks constantly circling the globe. What? Think about dicks. The whole globe. just weaner's getting hard as it constantly rotates because everyone's waking up

it's like a wave it's a crowd wave that's pretty funny trying to forget that one well it guess it would be the opposite on the other end of it like if the night on like on a weekend yeah it's just going down and up whole time ebbs and flows so stupid so fuck yeah that was at my brain thought that was someone else on the internet and fucking kudos to you. Some guys thought that and then it was like probably looked it up and

got the stats and everything. Just a six inch a six inch crowd wave. Not big. It's just like this. If you're at a sports stadium, everyone going like this. It's not a lot. But it's there. T-Rex arms. My dad used to say.

All right, moving off to the bonus stuff. Love you guys. You know what I'm going to be.