Can You Don't? - Can You Don't? | Hand Lick. Sex Worker. Liver. Butter.

Episode Date: July 3, 2024

Would you like to round-up to 9 butters today? Don't worry... if that made sense to you before hearing today's episode, that would be extra concerning. Let's talk about that, licking random stranger's hands before every handshake, the ugliest goat you will ever see, dropping your phone while trying to put on a new screen protecter, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast ***New Episodes every Wednesday at 12pm PSTWatch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/3teyJlry4s0Send in segment content: [e-mail]: http://canyoudontpodcast.comMerch Inquires: [e-mail]: http://facebook.com/canyoudontpodcastIG: http://instagram.com/canyoudontpodcastYouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wyt5rtOfficial Website: http://canyoudontpodcast.comCustom Music Beds by Zach CohenFan Mail:Can You Don't?PO Box 1062Coeur d'Alene, ID 83816Hugs and Tugs.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hand lick, sex worker, liver, Brian. Yeah, we were just watching. We were watching the little intro. I was like, I'm wearing the same shirt. I don't think I've watched it in a long time. I know, that's why. Just kind of staring at it. Wow. Look how young and dumb and... Full of cum?

Yeah. You fucking get it. Yeah. All, so many guys I used to work with, they used to say that. God, I remember when I was young, dumb, full of cum. Like, dude, where's my... Drinking rum. Squeezing bum. We're sitting at the fucking restaurant when you guys are saying

i'm like jesus christ i'm scaring the waitress off god i'm never gonna come so i was here in the waitress up there taking a pee and you didn't shit you flush your shit i didn't no oh that's disgusting i walked right in there it was just like black tar. Sorry about that. Shit. Anyway. Because he's been sick. So sick. And we're recording two episodes, like back-to-back days, because I'm gone next week because my sister died. And it's not funny, Brian.

It's just... It's not... Moving on. It's not funny that she died. Oh, yeah. It's just funny your delivery. Thank you. It's not funny that she died oh yeah it's just funny your delivery thank you it's not delivery it's so i feel worse today than i did yesterday when we recorded the other episode i feel worse saying what i just said that's all right i'm sorry for leaving poop in the toilet

uh will you set up the episode yeah uh what is is this? 107? Yeah. Yeah. We did 106 last week or yesterday. Yeah. Patreon. Yeah. We're doing that. We have that. We have that going.

If you want to be a part of that, you want some bonus content, exclusive merch, all that kind of fun stuff. You can be a silly goose. Yeah. Super silly goose or super duper silly goose. Which is there a fourth tier that there isn't a super duper loop? super duper silly goose Which is there Is there like a fourth tier Super duper Super duper lupa

What would we call it super oompa loompa Super serious goose Yeah strictly business goose Oh I like that Yeah We do additional content At the end of every show you can get that If you're a part of the Patreon, you get that honk edition.

You can do a little wild out there. Tapped onto the little wild west. And if you want to send your suggestions, including petty beef, confessions, emails, whatever you want to get off your chest and into our butts, you can send that to heyguys at candydontpodcast.com. And we had a miscommunication. I remember we recorded yesterday and talked about doing confessions on the show today. We're not. We'll do it next week.

I fucked up. It's on me. Classic. We actually have a voice confession that I've been waiting to listen to, so I'm excited to get that. You guys just record a voice message and send it in. That's always an option.

You can email that right over. Love to hear your voice. Just make sure it's funny and not lame. Yeah, if you make it, just don't even bother. If it's lame. If you're going to do it and it's going to be lame, don't even do it. No, don't do it.

That would be much better. Joe, I thought we'd start with a little email today. Okay. Top of the show. Great. Unless you want, we have to cover anything else, because I don't usually do the intro stuff, so. You're doing a great job.

No. No. No. Okay, here we go. Hey, dads. E here. Yes, that's my legal name. E?

Just E. God, that's awesome. Signed and stuff. Their parents were like, his dad was probably like, he was writing in like Earl and then Eddie. Like a nurse walked by and he's like, oh shit. Shit. You just forgot to do the rest of it?

Yeah. He's just staring at her. And then like the person walks over like, did you get that? And he's like, yeah. Just hands the paper over. E. And then his wife divorced him because she was like, that's his legal name now. And the rest is history.

Get it? Yeah, I get it. Anyway, I listen to the show when it drops every week at work, assuming nobody else is around at the time since I work in the kitchen at a residential youth care facility for troubled boys. Anyway, I guess I wasn't careful enough about listening because

one of the residents who helps with the kitchen stuff during the summer came to me expressing, Mr. E, they not leather, but check out my sick fingerless gloves. I don't know why I said it. That? Gangsta. I've attached an image of this fashion forward invention and told me if he makes it on the show, I'll 100% let him listen to just the part where you attempt to read this. Fucking thanks for the entertainment or whatever.

Wow, that's good. If you see the picture, if you're watching, they are, it's like, they're, if you've ever seen like a pit master cutting a brisket or something with those black gloves. Yeah, there are no fingers in them. No. That's good. They're fingertipless. Yeah, fingertipless. Yeah.

Because ours are like knuckle. Yeah. They go to that first knuckle. Yeah, fingertipless. Because ours are like knuckle. They go to that first knuckle. Yeah, knuckle deep. Or whatever. Zach, where are your knuckle deep in your ass? They're in my car. I know you're not on camera right now, but you gotta start wearing these. You're right. I do feel a little bit left out.

Or we're gonna fucking beat your ass with these gloves. I got vacation hands instead of business hands. Sorry about that. Cannot imagine trying to fight Zach. He's so scary. Yeah. No.

You're so big. I couldn't imagine fighting anybody. I've never been in a fight. Well, you know how it feels. I've never had to get into a fight, if you know what I mean. Yeah, I think it's back down. No one's going to fight somebody with their gloves. Trap, brother.

Start the show? Yeah, we can start it. Or whatever. Zach? Hey, shut up. Start the show already. Okay, go. Okay. Alright, this is from our son, Zachary. Not to be confused with

the big ogre in the other room. Would you rather have a parrot on your shoulder all the time telling you everyone all your intrusive thoughts in real time? Oh, boy. Or have to lick the whole hand of everyone you ever shake hands with or offers a hand to shake? Easy. Not good. with or offers a hand to shake easy not good not good situation for me in my brain i know and and zach was like easy which i'm intrigued because are you licking hands or fuck no birds are rad i just yeah i just live with being a piece of shit to everyone that i meet that's fine other than licking your hand your phone's bad your hand worse what if you walk up to someone in your and it's you're thinking who's a you know this

fucking guy and the birds like this fucking guy that'd be rad this little fucking peckerhead yeah you develop quite the personality i think or quite honest you're you're standing at the checkout a grocery store and you're like beep The gal's doing your groceries And you're thinking like I'd like to beep your groceries Like to fuck you Like to bend you over this fucking Belt

Yeah the conveyor belt Fuck you over the conveyor belt Sorry You can leave the gum out yeah um funny licking someone's entire hand is so funny in a serious situation just like end of a business meeting yeah okay deal we'll get we'll get 500 johnson on that we'll get half a million brake pads tommy and you get it yeah and uh it just extends his hand you're like he started licking it he's like never mind deals off deals off you just licked my

hand i like i kind of like the the idea of him like he's like all right that sounds like a great deal puts his hand out and you have to you're like you're like looking him in the eyes and you slowly just start leaning forward. Yeah, just dip down. He's. And then you stand right back up and be like. Deal. Yeah. I hope. I'm excited for this partnership. Me too.

Ooh, that was fast. Ooh. Lucky Cassie. One of my many talents. Lucky Cassie's butthole. Oh, hell yeah, dude. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. One of my many talents Lucky Cassie's butthole Hell yeah dude I feel like you have a little scapegoat With the parrot

Well no because they're your thoughts Yeah but not everyone knows that You can pass it off as Yeah parrot can just be a crazy guy I feel like that's a loophole I feel like in this situation You have to say it's your thoughts I feel like he says it and you're like like what you're like sorry this is a parrot that

he's just speaking you like i feel like there you have to the people have to know they're your thoughts the parrot has a sign around his neck that says that i speak for my human or whatever i'm not an asshole my human is yeah getting right getting pulled over cops like yo fast you're going it's like fucking pigs yeah yeah yeah fuck off pig fuck off pig you're like sorry but hit the donut shop go fuck a donut i that'd be hilarious though because i have some weird thoughts yeah just this bird repeating it just Just nonstop. Oh, man. How many times during the day I bite my tongue? Mm-hmm. That'd be a good skit.

I could see it. Mm-hmm. I mean, I have to put it in bed because it says a shoulder at all times. So you're having sex in that parrot. Kind of boring. Mm-hmm. You're just going to lay there? Mix it up.

Lame. And you're like, where there? Mix it up. Lame. And you're like, where do you want it? God, I hope she says birdhouse. Wah! Yeah. Right in my house. Not in my house. Not in my house.

He's speaking for himself there. He's like, I want to put it in the birdhouse. Wait, what? Not my house. Mm-hmm. Hey, hon, does this dress make me look fat? Meh, yes. Shut up, parrot.

If you ever have intrusive thoughts, like you're plowing away at your girlfriend or your wife, and you think of someone else. Oof. That's an intrusive thought. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Which is a different ass. Mm-hmm. Which is Janet.

Janet's ass is hot and taken care of. Let yourself go. Let yourself go. So that's fun. God, this is tough Because Just licking whole hands Is not I don't even like

Drinking off like Other people's Drinks You know Yeah Like When they take a drink Out of your can

And if they don't suck up The little reservoir Of pop right there Fucking hate that So Last thing I want to do Is lick someone's hand. Dude.

Especially a dude's hand. You know, he was just rubbing one out in the bathroom. Yeah. Touching stuff. You're licking little baby, dead babies. Hmm. You know what I mean? Didn't think of it that way, but I got it.

Dried up, dead cum babies. Zach's dying today. Yeah. I like it. That's what you're doing basically Yeah I mean I guess if you just come in your own hand Well Is that what you do?

No sometimes when you're jerking off sometimes it shoots Sometimes it just dribbles out Interesting Do you not ever just dribble out? Or are you always a shooter? I'm a shooter Straight shooter. All right.

Oh, man. That's funny. You ever been coming and then, like, you pull out to come and then you hit the fucking headboard? Because I've done that a couple times. With your cum or your head? Cum. With my head. What?

You pull out, you're about ready to jizz, and you start whacking your head against the... And you're aiming for the stomach and it just goes fucking... And hits the fucking headboard. Classic. Classic. Yeah! You should just watch as it goes right over his shoulder. She goes, that's not where I wanted it.

That's not a birdhouse. I was aiming for the birdhouse. I was aiming for the birdhouse, baby. In the birdhouse, baby. That's where I want it. Oh, man. I don't know. I can't just lick hands, dude. I guess I'm going to have a parrot. Because that's where i want it oh man i don't know uh i can't just lick hands dude i guess i

don't have a parrot because that's fun too oh man if some people if some people knew what i was thinking at the moment it'd be awful yeah i would it's just but to lick the whole hand of somebody like even just like meeting your girlfriend's parents for the first time oh god this is nice to meet you you're like and then her mom's like oh honey why don't you ever do that to me honey i can never lick my hand honey you're like fuck he's like i've heard so much about you puts his hand down you're like just bend down and lick your girlfriend's dad's hand you go in like a gentleman to kiss the top of the hand and then just like sucking off each thumb thanks for having me over have you ever wanted to lick someone's fingers who just got done eating like cheetos or anything nope yeah me either i'm gonna go with i'm gonna go with a parrot I'm gonna go with a parrot

on the shoulder that has to happen yeah yeah cause just cause I think I could I think I could I could make

try to get myself out of it I don't wanna have to lick someone's fucking disgusting dead baby cunt knuckles hand knuckle hand

dead baby knuckles that'd be a sick band name dead baby dried up dead baby knuckles alright is there who's excited to see dead baby knuckles they're like who's here to see fucking the eagles band name. Dead Baby. Dried up Dead Baby Knuckles. All right. Who's excited to see Dead Baby Knuckles? They're like,

who's here to see fucking the Eagles? Yeah. Seriously, Aerosmith. Yeah. Opening up for vaginal tenting. Yeah.

That's a hell of a show. Yeah, it is. Out at the RV shop. I'll be there playing Wonderwall. Yeah. Zach will be there opening things up Getting things kicked off

Get the show gaping Yeah there's no way I'll do the hands licking hands Dude Just having a band It's fucking Joey P and the dried up Dead baby knuckles So you're Joey P I'm Joey P and the dried up dead baby knuckles.

So you're Joey P? I'm Joey P. And that's the dead baby knuckles? Thanks for coming to see us. It's like a full band. Like a big band. And they're all serious. Trumpets and shit. Yeah.

It's a big... It's Brian Setzer Orchestra, but it's... With fucking cum knuckles. Okay. Well, pair this. What are you thinking about? Should we do it?

Yeah, let's do it. Sorry, I'm sick. Zach? Hey. Hey, what's up, babe? What are you thinking about? You know, nothing. Actually, you know what?

I'm thinking about a lot of shit. What are you thinking about? I hate hearing my voice in that. Okay. Too bad. what are you thinking about i hate hearing my voice from that okay too bad so we were just talking about this the other day uh because i just had another like super ironic situation happen cassie uh fucking awesome bought me a new phone for father's Day. What? Okay. That's amazing. Like, my phone, the FaceTime camera stopped working. When did you have?

Because... 12. Okay, because you're acting like a person who got their first iPhone. Thank you. So, it had, like, the FaceTime camera broke. So, I had to type in my fucking password every time. Oh, God. And then, then like the storage was getting fucked and i was just dealing with it it was fine so she got me a new phone and it's

awesome uh but i got the screen protector and all that kind of stuff so it just reminded me of like ironic things that were happening i remember i have cut my finger, paper cut, while reaching into a band-aid box, which I think is funny. Because I was going to use it. That is ironic. Yeah. Don't you think? I do. A little too ironic.

Yeah, it was like getting a band-aid for something else, then paper cut myself on the band-aid box. Funny. I have... Wait, so did you have to get two band-aids? Yeah. And that was a risk i was willing to take but i've been de-icing the the stairs in the middle of winter and outside outside while i'm

de-icing i've slipped on the ice on the stairs and then flat back myself and just smashed my back on the fucking stairs i was trying to de-ice so that's funny and then the most recent one was putting on the screen protector for my new phone and while i was doing that i dropped it did it crack no it was fine but i just thought how funny that was yeah like because they have like the little uh like the guiding stickers right right? So it sticks to the phone, but then you can pick it back up if you don't put it down the exact way you want the first time. And when I picked it up, it was stuck enough to it that it just threw my phone off the fucking counter.

And I was like, okay, that's funny. I feel like those just, yeah, those do more damage than the times I've heard that story. Really? I've never put a, not since like the iphone three have i put a cover on because they the screens are so nice now i feel like you're just wasting your time well yeah but you're asking you're all asking for trouble so my daddy's because it's because it's you get you're gonna get an air bubble you're gonna you're gonna do what happened to you and it's just gonna be worse than the phone was before yeah maybe uh but just like going through those ironic situations which

is so funny and there's a lot of that out there yeah it's like you're trying to do the exact opposite and get hurt doing the thing you're trying to solve i do that all the time like going up and cleaning the gutters and falling off the fucking ladder oh definitely seems like the universe likes irony like that's its favorite thing yeah and you the gutters and falling off the fucking ladder. Definitely seems like the universe likes irony. Like that's its favorite thing. Yeah, and you have to stop and appreciate it. You gotta laugh at it, because that's so fucking stupid. Well, it's...

Sometimes you go on like a run of it, too, where you're trying to do one thing, and then you create five to six other things, right? Situations, yeah. You're like, you do that, you say, yeah, you fall off the ladder, and you're like you do that you're like you say yeah you fall off the ladder and you're laying there hurt oh fuck and then you get up oh sorry fuck oh fuck oh fuck okay anyway what were you saying i remember but i do remember uh i didn't fall off the ladder but i was doing something with the gutters and I just like

I reached a weird way and it just fucking tweaked my back and I remember my wife was out there and I had to get down I'm like laying in the front lawn there's a ladder and then I'm laying in the front lawn and then she's standing over me and we live right on a busy road so they're probably driving by

thinking that dude just fell off a ladder and so I finally like crawled i basically had to crawl into the house and just laid on the wood floor for an hour or whatever it was till it's i could move again yeah all i was trying to do was getting get pine needles out of the fucking gutter so i didn't so i didn't back up and fall off the roof you just ended up up fucking yourself over. Yeah. Yeah. I actually saw a story, because you were telling me about this, and I was looking for stories for Dick, and I saw this story. Okay. And it was like, are you fucking kidding me?

We were just talking about weird, ironic shit. Mm-hmm. This woman, a woman's bittersweet $1 million lottery win as husband dies from brain tumor two weeks later. Fuck. lottery win as husband dies from brain tumor two weeks later fuck like imagine the there are two two different ways or maybe multiple different ways to think about this she's thinking like holy fuck he just won the lottery like and she's got looks like four kids and oh my god but imagine the dude that's dying of brain cancer. Must be nice.

They've been struggling their whole life just to get by, and then they win the fucking million dollar lottery, and he's like, cool. Wow. They probably won't even get the money by the time, he won't get to enjoy any of it. No, he won't. The government will take half of it anyway.

Right. If they would have won it before, he could have been saved. And he's like, wow, congratulations. Yeah, they have a new cancer treatment that would cost exactly $1 million. Could have saved his life if they would have won it two weeks before. And she's like, woof. Okay. That's kind of funny.

Imagine this. Here's a scenario for you. Let's say there's a miracle $1 million cancer treatment. This guy. If you're this guy and you're dying of brain cancer, do you fight to get the thing so you can live? Or do you let your family have the $1 million and let yourself die so they get the money? So they're set up. I think that'd be a lengthy discussion.

Pretty sure I know what the wife would want to say. What would it be? Keep the money. See you, buddy. See you later. Fucking nerd. I don't know. Having four kids and no dad around.

Maybe he was a piece of shit dad. I don't know. We don't know anything about this guy. I don't want to... Project. Yeah. I don't know. I don't want to draw any conclusions here.

This is a fucking scratch-off, too. What? Yeah. A scratch-off million-dollar winner? Yeah. What the fuck? That's something you're just like at the gas station, you're buying i don't want to assume anything about this lady either um you're the gas station by hookers dropping mess yeah doing math fucking hookers you know normal gas station stuff

there was actually a scratch winner at the gas station by my house that won a million or two million dollars too what yeah oh the one right around the corner yeah they have a big sign says three million or two million dollars yeah fuck there's you can look at that a couple ways too you see that you're like oh fuck this place pays out or you're like well never again never that's never gonna happen again yeah odds of that happening again are none yeah that's that's tough like imagine oh fuck like what would you do in whose shoes do i break the guy yeah i don't know your family could be set up or you get cured so you're still live the same life but you're here and you're and then how do you think your kids would feel like they of course

they want daddy around but probably want a million dollars to have a new bike yeah new bike and just every game for your playstation or dad's here telling you not to play your playstation yeah mad at you for playing too many playstations riding your bike too much well i guess i i mean we could kind of i could we we well all three of us like imagine like if you get your parent back no thanks i'll take a million bucks for sure she'd be happy with it no i had a good life uh and i'm gonna have a great one with this million bucks you know what i mean yeah oh yeah oh yeah i don't know i don't know i mean how that fuck me man fuck me running fucking fuck me how did that ever become a saying all right it's hard i've tried it's a degree of difficulty yeah um i don't it's too much to assume okay

if you can be saved and if you just like well you just find Jesus that's all you gotta do real quick you guys what the fuck is that dog doing on

what's going on there that just looks fucked up doesn't it yeah he's looking at shit and he's like make some eggs what's going on

this guy's like cooking brunch whatever you guys are selling I'm sold the dog licks his paw. What the fuck is happening? New Purina. Eggs and fuck you.

What is this? I don't know. It's good, though. I don't know. What would you do? Texas drink driver goes to work with entire arm in passenger seat after a horror crash. A little tough story. I don't know. That's's tough i don't want to answer

it that's too tough okay zach what are we talking about i was thinking about a dog and eggs and eating bait and death okay if uh the the the the age my kids are at they're so little i feel like if it was my wife and we were talking about, we would say that I would live. Yeah. Just because the kids have so much money. Money's money and it's fine. But later on. I don't know.

Make a million dollars. I don't know. I give my wife a million dollars so she could be the best cat lady ever. She has so many cats. All the cats. And they'd eat great. Probably with eggs and licking their feet. Chicken butts.

They could just eat you. Yeah. Chicken strike. Or their feet. Chicken butts. They'd just eat you. Yeah, chicken strike. Or fly strike. Chicken strike. I don't know. All right. Financial situation. I'm not sure.

Should we do some dick? Yeah. We're doing a thick dick today? Yeah. Fuck. Because I fucked up with the confessions. Let's gape. You ready to gape?

Yeah. Is it dumb? Is it interesting? Is it cool? Then it interesting? Is it cool? Then it's dick. Dick. Have not read this article, but I remember a story of you. Were you farting in Pringle Cans?

Maybe close it up and roll it over. Yeah. And smell them. God. Oh, boys. Oh, and I'm the asshole? So I'm farting in Pringle Pringle cans are rolling to my friends? Maybe.

Were you saying that because you want to read this or am I reading it? You can read it. Okay. I was just saying I just saw the headline. All right. And it reminded me of your story. Ohio attorney suspended over pooping in a Pringles can has license reinstated. Nice.

God, headlines are so good. Once you pop, you can't stop. That's right. I found another Pringles story about a guy that was stealing Pringles, and he said that. Once you pop, you can't stop. He's a serial Pringle guy. He stole like 14 cans of Pringles, and the cops asked him why. He's like, once you pop, you can't stop.

So funny. He's just waiting for that moment. He's like, this you pop, you can't stop. So funny. Like he's just waiting for that moment. Yeah. He's like, this is going to be funny. This is going to pay off. This joke's going to land. He said it like in court. He's like, once you pop, you know what it is.

You know what I mean? All right. Ohio attorney who was disciplined for pooping in a Pringles can and tossing it into a parking lot got his law license reinstated on Tuesday. Jake Blakeslee of Noble County finished serving a six-month sanction that the Ohio Supreme Court imposed in November. The court said Tuesday that Blakeslee had compiled had complied with the conditions, including no further misconduct to get his license back. November 21 surveillance

cameras recorded footage of Blakeslee, a criminal defense attorney, dropping Pringle's potato chip can into a parking lot of a crime victim advocacy center. The can contained human feces. Blakeslee's behavior

called into question his fitness to practice law. I mean, why does it matter how fit he is you have to take a shit when you gotta go you gotta go you're supposed to just drive around with this pringle can full of shit keep it in your car it's disgusting it's crazy during the disciplinary process blakesley claimed that he didn't target anyone said he pulled a pringles prank at least 10 times that year what bl? Blakeslee had known the victim advocates at the center for years

and was scheduled to see them in court 15 minutes after the Pringles deposit. At the time, Blakeslee was representing someone accused in a capital murder case. Blakeslee, an attorney since 1976, had no other disability. So he's been around for a while. Yeah.

I mean, yeah. Pushing 50 years. That dude's been around for a while. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Pushing 50 years. That dude's been. And pooping in Pringles cans. Like how many, how many Pringles cans is that guy shit in? Dude. At least 10. Yeah.

He admitted to at least 10. What? I'm okay. I guess it's a weird, it's a weird prank because you're you have to assume someone's gonna pick up the pringles can and open it all right like would if you're walking through a parking lot you saw pringles can would you go pick it up and open it no i would not out of fear they're shitting it right before hearing this article or brian and his friends farted in it yeah um how do you shit the pringle can that seems like i Like you take some skill They're pretty wide

I mean If you're in If it's in the vicinity Of your butthole Yeah if you know Where your butthole is You could probably Pull it off

Yeah but I mean Come on I mean Come on I mean yeah Come on You're gonna shake A little bit

Maybe use like An oil can Or a Funnel Yeah And then chuck the funnel Into the bushes That's a whole other crime.

Yeah. And then also thinking that, like, he said I did it 10 times, like, that year. Like, this guy's just set on this being so funny. Mm-hmm. He's like, this is gonna... They're like, dude, you did... He's like, dude, I did it 10 other times. Dude, yeah.

You know how funny that is? That's so funny. They're like, it's not even that funny. And he's like like what were you doing well i was on my lunch break it was on my lunch break and i pooped in a can yeah so we took a recess in court and i pooped in a can it's funny it's funny you wouldn't get it you wouldn't get it it's a it's a lawyer thing yeah it's a lawyer it's a defense attorney every time i am defending capital murder i poop in a pringles can when he a young man, he used to poop in a box and send it to his congressman.

Things have changed. He's milled out. Yeah. Well, yeah. He does. Well, back then, he used to target people. This is random. It's more the unipooper back then, yeah.

The bomber, yeah. Unipooper. Just lying awake at night being like, it's so funny. Giggling. I wonder who found it anyway the payoff yeah the payoff of like seeing someone i mean i guess you you know you can you can set something up for years down the road someone's gonna find something and be like oh it's gonna be funny but i think i'd want to see the payoff too just picturing a time capsule that's like buried in the city park like don't

open till 2087 and you open it up and just like pringles can of shit that's funny yeah see i can get behind that like you're so excited they're like let's dig it up well what was life back in fucking 1940 if you could do it where you're present, too. Like, you know, say you do it in like 25 years. What a shitty fucking time capsule. Okay, how about 50 years? 50 years. Things change a lot in 50 years.

Oh, my God. That's so funny thinking about a time capsule that like don't open for two years. And it's just your poop in a Pringles can. That's funny. Well, I mean, you could. just a 10-year time capsule we have an idea well let's let's set up a fake uh a fake one fake time capsule that we go open that says it's from 100 years ago and we just you know one of us poops in a pringles can and we just do it we found we find the news out there and everything yeah like just make hype it up to be this big thing and

and then open it up and it's just fucking poop it's gotta be one other item in there and like a Twinkie yeah it's a Pringles can of shit and a Twinkie some pogs yeah some pogs it's like a Mickey Tuttle

baseball card and an iPhone it's like a mickey tuttleton baseball card and an iphone that's like recent like that was what the fuck are we doing here like it just came out the year before pringles can iphone 15 and a fucking twinkie inside of a well you're turning your put your iphone 12 in there it's a relic yeah you're right. Okay, should we move off to our next dick? Yeah. Okay. I'll read it. I'll do my best. I'll read it. Will you fix your computer? What? Will you fix your computer? God damn it. God damn it.

Is it working now? Yes. Okay. Bacon Ice Cream and Nugget Overload. Overlord the Bacon Nugget Overlord? Sounds like a fun game an rpg i can get behind bacon ice cream and nugget overload sees misfiring mcdonald's ai withdrawn is that headline makes sense oh it doesn't cool right better it makes sense when you understand when doesn't. Cool. Write better. It makes sense when you read the article. McDonald's is removing artificial intelligence, AI, powered ordering technology from the drive-thru restaurants in the U.S.

after customers shared its comical mishaps online. A trial of the system, which was developed by IBM and uses voice recognition software to process orders, was announced back in 2019. It was not proved entirely reliable, however, resulting in viral videos of bizarre misinterpreted orders ranging from bacon-topped ice cream to hundreds of dollars worth of chicken nuggets. I know what you need. So, it doesn't matter matter they just talked about it however it added it remained confident the tech would still be part of his restaurant's future what okay we will continue to evaluate long-term scalable solutions that will help us make an informed decision this sounds like the fucking ai robot informed decision on a future voice voice ordering solution by the end of the year

said the ai ordering machine move down to uh yeah so in one uh so the ai order takers mishaps have been documented online in one video which has 30,000 views on TikTok, a young woman becomes increasingly exasperated as she attempts to convince the AI that she wants a caramel ice cream only for it to add multiple stacks of butter to her order. Yeah, I know. I hear you. Caramel.

Butter? I hear you loud and clear. Yeah. Yeah, butter. There's some more butter. Nope. I don't. Nope, I know it.

Caramel. Caramel. Butter. It's fucking... clear yeah yeah there's some more butter nope i don't nope i know it caramel caramel butter fucking every time she said it adds more butter butter in another which has 360 000 views a person claims that her order got confused with one being made by someone else resulting in nine nine orders of tea being added to her bill. All set. Just need those nine teas. Just want my butter and nine nice teas please. Another popular video includes two people laughing while hundreds of dollars worth of chicken nuggets are added

to their order. While the New York Post reported another person had bacon added to their ice cream in an error. Although that doesn't sound too terrible. Not a bomb. Yeah. Yeah. That's just so funny.

You're like, no, no, no. All set. It's like, nuggets? Nuggets? No, no, no, no. No, we're all set. One order of nuggets. 50 nugget orders? What?

No. 50 more? Every time you open your mouth, it just adds more. Yeah. You're like, stop. More nuggets. More nuggets, please. you more every time you open your mouth it just adds more yeah you're like no stop more nuggets more nuggets please i picture that like that you're at the like in mcdonald's they have those indoor you know ordering things and you're just talking to this thing and it's just doing that

and you're like bacon cheddar like bacon cheddar butter nugget? No, no, no. What? I want a Big Mac. Double? Double butter bacon ice cream? Double butter bacon ice cream? Fuck, what? No. I want a Big Mac meal. Nine teas?

Nine teas? Ice teas? Can I replace? Would you like sugar in your iced tea? What? What? I don't even know iced tea. Nuggets? What?

No. Fuck. Nuggets? What? No. Fuck. Bacon. Nope. Okay. More bacon butter. Ice cream nuggets? What are you fucking doing? More bacon butter.

Would you like to add more nugget ice cream? Would you like to donate to the Ronald McDonald house? No. Butter? Fuck! Would you like to round up for butter bacon ice cream? Sandwich? Buns? You want just buns? You want a bag of buns

butter ice cream bacon sandwich no iced tea nine of them fuck you just drive off nope

fuck you okay fuck me butter round up would you like to round up to seven butters? For kids?

Thank you for your donation. Thanks for rounding up for seven butters, ice cream, nuggets? Today. Bye. Bye. Please pull forward. Fuck. Disaster. bye bye please pull forward fuck disaster ibm said it would continue to work with mcdonald's in the future why is that i was like no we'll keep doing it we're not gonna this is not gonna stop us ai is a weird thing man because it's like it's such a buzzword, too, where any product will just say, like, our AI, it's infused with AI.

Like, okay, but... I know. Does it work? This has existed for a long time. Automated is what people now are just saying AI. Like having a screen you touch and you go through it, it's like, no, it's AI. You have to say that you have AI in it or else people don't care because it's all about fucking ai yes it is nvidia is now the biggest company in the world who nvidia what's that they make they make parts what they make i make car

part for the working man gotcha anyway it's they're big it, they just passed Microsoft, which is the biggest company ever. They're in the forefront of the technology for AI stuff. Gotcha. And it's not going to go away. No. Because why would it? Pretty soon you won't have to say AI powered. It's just implied.

It's implied, yeah. Okay, you want to read our next dick? Yeah. Gape. God, that's funny. Gape? All right. Cheating what?

Fucking ads. God, get the fuck off my screen! Butter? Cheating husband sues Apple after wife discovered deleted messages sent to sex workers. Okay. Oh, no. What? Is it doing what it did last time? Yes! No!

This happened last week. I just did this last night. And now it won't let you in? God damn it. It's okay. We'll find it. This story's everywhere. Fuck. Suing Apple. Okay, I got it.

Okay. You want me to read it? Yeah. Okay. Why a man is suing Apple for his multi-million dollar divorce has deleted messages to sex workers seen by wife. Bro, accept your responsibility, you fucking nerd. This middle-aged British man claims that Apple failed to adequately inform users that deleted messages could still be accessible on other linked devices. Don't you love that? It's like not taking responsibility, but it's like

fucking Apple! They told me it would be they didn't know! They said it would be secret! You know what? I'm fucking coming for you! Coming for you, Apple. A British man is suing Apple for over 5 million pounds after his messages to sex workers, which he thought were deleted, showed up on the family iMac leading to divorce proceedings.

You idiot. The $5 million lawsuit is to seek compensation for the financial losses incurred from the divorce and legal fees. What a piece of shit. This middle-aged man, known only as Richard, yeah, dick, fucking dick, fucking suck it,

claims that Apple failed to adequately inform users that deleted messages could still be accessible on other linked devices. The Times, a British national daily reported, if the messages had said, these messages are deleted on this device, that would have been a clue, or these messages are deleted on this device only, that would have even been better, Dick said. Dick told the Times, God, I fucking hate this guy, that he had resorted to contacting sex workers through the iMessage app on his iPhone, believing the messages were completely erased after deletion, which they had all been synced and stored on the family iMac all along,

leading his wife to discover them. We have been very happily married for over 20 years, Dick said. A superb marriage was thrown away over something many men and some women do. This guy is fucking delusional. What a crazy person. What the fuck are you talking about, dick? He's like, fucking iPhone.

Our perfect marriage was ruined because everyone fucks sex workers in a happy, healthy marriage. That's why he was so happy for 20 years. Yeah, because he's fucking sex workers. He even compared the situation with friends who had affairs, yet managed to remain married. There would have been a way through it if the realization hadn't been so sudden and brutal and upsetting. He added, Richard said the entire ordeal has not only cost him financially, but has also taken a toll on his health, adding that he was on really strong beta blockers

to reduce his panic attacks. Is beta blockers the name of the sex worker? Nope. Still got it. Oh, yeah. I genuinely thought I was going to have a heart attack. Divorce is an extraordinarily stressful process, especially with children and family dynamics.

You are fucking sex workers! Fuck! Evaluate your career with VIT's MBIB program. Oh, that's a bad one. Sorry. God, I just... What the fuck? I was reading that and I'm like, are you kidding me, dude?

And the thing is And he probably... And the thing is, he probably has a case. He probably has a case. Well, yeah. Aside from the marriage aspect of it, the privacy of Apple, there probably is something. Of like not knowing where everything's being saved and backed up. But I'm sure it says it in the fucking terms and agreement that you're supposed to read that no one reads yeah so richard you didn't read it did you read the fucking fine

print dick yeah fucking big old dick dude but his denial is so off-putting i'm just like dude everybody fucks sex workers i I had the best marriage ever. And here I am. If it wasn't for Apple. If it wasn't for Apple, I'd still be married. Everyone fucks sex workers on the side. And now divorce is so exhausting. My kids are involved.

I love how it's on the family Mac. Your wife's looking up Pinterest. All of a sudden it's on the family Mac. Your wife's looking up Pinterest. All of a sudden, it's like, booking, beta blocker. Booking. Tiffany. I think we have talked about this. It's been a long time, but this story just popped back in my head. I remembered going home, like back when family computers existed, right?

So high school for me, and I didn't think anybody was home and I started looking at porn on the computer and the way my dad's house was set up was that there were speakers all over the place. So the main family computer could play music out in the living room and the shop and all that kind of stuff. I didn't know my stepmom was home. And I didn't know the speakers were connected to her pottery barn. So she's out there working on pottery and I'm looking up porn.

And it's just blasting. You're like, why can't I hear it? Turn the volume up. Is he fucking? Oh, fuck. Oh, you fucking like yeah oh yeah you like my cock in your mouth i'm gonna fucking come fucking sitting there and she's like oh yeah and luckily i was still like finding a video i wasn't like jerking it and my stepmom just walks into the house she goes what are you doing and i'm like oh my friend sent an email and i clicked on the link i didn't know

and she goes okay we'll stop doing that i was like you got it and just log off whatever the windows 98 log off was yeah Yeah. We had a compact computer. Remember that brand? Sure do. Sometimes I'll, like if I'm at home deciding to watch a little porny porn and wife's gone, I'll usually, I'll turn my Bluetooth off because the worst thing that would happen is she drives home and the car like connects to the speakers and it's like, oh, fine. I'm a fucking cunt. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I am. I bet you by the end of this, I'm a fucking cunt. Yeah, baby. Yeah, but we're not going to show it all. We're not going to show it all. You've got to subscribe to see the end. You've got to sign up for Blacked. Or just write his resume about to come.

It's going to cut off. Yeah. I'm going to jerk off and I'm going to fucking fade away into a logo. You'll fade away into a logo. You fade away into the logo. Oh, yeah. She's like, and then just fade away. New Biles

porn. New Biles. Brazzers. Brazzers? I heard it's free right now. Is it? How would I know? So, yeah. Is it really? Fuck this. Have fun.

Good news? Or whatever? Yeah. Okay. Zach? So you're telling me there's a chance. Hooray. We aren't doomed.

Yeah! All right. We love Jim Carrey. A 98-year-old man's liver was donated. He is believed to be the oldest American organ donor ever. Believed to be. There he is out in front of his fucking... Combine?

Yeah, his combine. He's just plowing away, harvesting. Harvesting season. He harvests his organs. You know what I mean? Okay. Orville Allen. Is organs. You know what I mean? Okay. Orville Allen. Is that an old man name or what?

Holy shit. That's the oldest old man name I've ever... Did he invent popcorn? Orville Red and Liver Donator Bucker. So dumb. Lived a lifetime of service. Orville Red Liver and B Orville Red Liver Blocker? Red Liver Blocker?

And when he died at age 98, he had one last thing to give. His liver. A 98-year-old liver, dude. Some 12-year-old gets a fucking 98-year-old liver. He just ages him. He just ruins his life. Well, he's going to die. Alan, a veteran of both World War II and the Korean War, and a longtime educator in rural southeastern Missouri,

is the oldest American to ever donate an organ. Transplant. I hate you. God damn. Donate an organ transplant Transplant organization said God It was weird the way that it cut the

That's why there's a comma God damn it Well I know that's why it donated an organ Transplant He died on May 29th and his liver was successfully transplanted to a 70 year old woman 72 72 year old woman um i guess that's cool alan was a was in robust health until he suffered a fall while picking up storm debris at his home that's what's crazy's crazy. This guy lived that long. Went through World War II and the Korean War.

Probably had some sort of cancer that he got through. Just lived that long. And then bent over to pick up a shingle from his roof and died. What the fuck? At his home in Poplar Bluff, Missouri. On May

27th, his daughter, Linda Michelle, said he struck the back of his head and was flown to St. Francis Medical Center in Cape Girgidoo. Swelling around, Ellen's brain couldn't be healed. As the family was preparing to say goodbye, hospital staff had a question. Would they consider donating his liver? I know you're really sad, but... Can I have his liver? Can we have his liver or whatever?

We'll harvest it right now. Right now. We have a guy. We have a 72-year-old woman that needs a 98-year-old man's liver. Yeah. I mean, what's crazy, she's 72. He's 26 years older. He could be her dad.

Easily. Yeah. Could be her grandpa if they had kids really young. Yeah. It's Missouri. Forgot where I was. Okay, given Alan's age, it was a question that caught the relatives by surprise. But surgeons had examined him and

determined he was acceptable for transplant. It's just like, they're just like running tests like, yeah, this guy's going to die. Perfect. Perfect. Knowing their dad's nature. Exquisite liver.

Always the first to check in on people. Always at the doorstep of a needy neighbor. The siblings didn't hesitate. It turned it from being such a sad loss of our dad to having a little ray of joy because he was doing what he'd done all of his life. He was giving one more gift. Oh. Preciously, Cecil Lockhart of his life. He was giving one more gift. Preciously, Cecil Lockhart of West Virginia died anyway. What?

What did I say, preciously? Previously, Cecil Lockhart of West Virginia was the oldest person donated an organ upon death, which coordinated recovery of his liver. He was 95 when he died in 21, and his liver was successfully transplanted to a woman. He's like, fuck yeah, dude. I'm the oldest guy ever. And then fucking Alan Liver Redblocker Becker Beaver comes along and steals his thunder. Yeah, it's like reading a Guinness World Records article.

This dude's competing for oldest liver donation. Anyway, then it goes into stats of liver transplant, which nobody cares about. Unless you need one. God, what a guy. It doesn't matter until it really matters. What a guy. Yeah, that's pretty cool. I mean, it sounded like he was a good dude up until then, too.

Yeah. I love it. Good job. Job. Orville. Orville Allenbacher. Popcorn liver. Orver it. Good job. Job. Orville. Orville Allenbacher. Popcorn liver. Orville Livenbacher. Livenbacher popcorn liver.

Okay. Butter. Butter. Would you like to round up for seven butters? Seven livers? Seven livers on an ice cream bacon? No? Okay.

Seven butters. All right. Next thing. Zach! bacon no okay seven butters all right next thing zach the internet is pretty wild depending on your browsing habits you can either experience something super cool or go to prison crazy right let's check it out together as a couple hey look what i found yes that's awesome all right what this was sent oh stop okay this was sent in by our son casey um he sent in a couple of videos uh so i so i worked nights and my co-worker started uncontrollably laughing uh There's just some things you can't make up. Maybe you can get some use out of it. Oh, fuck.

That's the wrong one. Sorry. That was going to be for next week's. Whoops. Fuck what I just said. This one was sent in from our son, Casey, and it's about the Damascus goat. Have you ever seen a Damascus goat? I have not.

You want to see one? More than anything. Okay. All right. Pull that up on the screen. Fucking what? That is the... What the fuck is that?

That's a Damascus goat. The Damascus goat breed is raised in Syria, Cyprus, and Lebanon, primarily for its milk. What makes the Damascus goat interesting are its genetic characteristics. It is the origin of Mediterranean breeds, such as the Mediterranean red.

The Damascus goat, named Kar, Oh my god! MAAA! What in the fuck is that? That's like giving the... Yeah. Jesus. That one doesn't even have a nose. It doesn't even have anything. It looks like a shitty sock pocket.

Look at that guy. Oh my god. And then here's another one too. Look at this thing. What in the fuck? It's like some kind of Star Wars or something. Yeah. Yeah, it does. It's uh...

Oh my god. It's fucking terrifying fucking terrifying yeah it's basically like a it looks like a dis like a deformed goat like the face is caved in their tongue's just hanging out it looks likeascus goat yeah what in the fuck is that no here's yeah let's take it like it ran into a wall yeah it was running it was like some goat or like rams that run into each other and it's like he thought he was one of those yeah ran into a wall and smashed his face smashed his face and then had babies had a bunch of babies and then the universe decided that that was perfect yeah like oh this thing can live yeah like that must that's just a genetic mutation yeah well they probably domesticated it so then it just kept you know breeding god that that's fucking wild yeah i love

crazy shit like that like we're just going through our life and these things are out there? They're out there. They're living. Living their best little... They look like they're just a disabled goat. He's like... Tongue and teeth are flapping out. There was one day he didn't have a nose. He just had this underbite.

Yeah, the nose curls in. You guys have to look that up. That is fucking nuts. I love it. I love it. Hear from the kids? Yeah, let's do it. Fuck yeah!

All right, let's hear what you guys think. Really? You want to talk to me? Wow, that's cool. Are you going to try and read? I'm going to give it a shot. We just got one today because it's kind of a long one. Okay.

This was sent in by our son, Mike. Uncle Daddy's. When I was 17 and working at Hardee's, I worked a graveyard shift, which consisted of just me and a manager. After the lobby closes at 12 and the bar rush, which ends at 3, it was my job to clean up the kitchen and their job to clean up the front, including the lobby and bathrooms. I'd gone into the men's room a couple times

to relieve the pressure of multiple moose-sized iced teas. Butter? Nope. Nine iced teas of butter? Nine iced teas, print. Butter iced tea. Butter iced teas. A hundred nuggets. Not a bomb.

Help. Help. First time I walked in, something smelled horribly wrong. But I didn't have time to care as we were getting our asses kicked. Second time I walked in, I investigated shortly and realized the door to one of the stalls was locked. Which is never good. No. At this moment, I realized I wanted no part of this.

When we finally slowed down, I started doing my nightly chores, and Sasha, in quotations, went out to clean the lobby. First, I needed to describe Sasha to set the scene of why this was so funny to me. I was 6'6 at the time. Apparently, he shrunk or grew. Yeah. And she was barely pushing a stout five foot if that if if that she was also one of the best wrestlers in her weight class and once dropped

me on my ass just playing around back to the story sasha had been out in the lobby for a while then the silence of the restaurant was broken with what the fuck with a door slam and many other expletives, I don't remember. At this moment, I remember the locked stall, and she walked through the front door. Covered! Head to toe in slimy brown substance. Fuck. Her palms were brown, her face was smeared, and a look that told me someone's death was imminent. She told me someone...

Shit! All over the fucking place! She went into the office, found another uniform, and went to clean up. Why would you not just fucking quit at that point? I don't know. God. I went to the men's room to look at the scene and will never forget the artwork I saw.

I could see piles of shoe smeared, uh, shoe smeared shit from, uh, from door to toilet. Handprints of two different sizes, almost three quarters of the, uh, was up the stall and the wall. Signs the guys,

and signs the guys hemorrhoid popped. That's hot. Here's the kickers. I ended up cleaning it all up and found two very interesting and disgusting details. On the back of the door, I found a shit-smeared message of sorry, and in the trash I found a pair of chocolate-covered undies and shit-covered socks, which I assume cleaned the pair of shoes.

Oh my goodness. shit-covered socks, which I assume cleaned the pair of shoes. After that, it became a store inside joke of Sasha being built like a brick shithouse. Big Mike. Joe, you're an amazing guy, and heart goes out to you at this time of loss. Recently, my mother-in-law passed away, and I've had to be there

for my lady. Use your sister's death as awareness to her sister's illness, not a tool of hate. You're a great man and handled some of the craziest shit. Respect. No, thanks, Mike. Also, he kind of teased us with something. He said, and same soup I don't know what that means. And same soup actually had to clean up Oh!

Was that like the person at the restaurant? Soup? I don't know. Maybe. I don't know. Same soup actually had to clean up after a lady who miscarried in the woman's restroom. Women's restroom in the middle of a lunch rush. What?

What the fuck is going on with this Hardee's? I know. So, I wanted to add that in there because I'm hoping he'll write in again with details of that story. God. To be in such a situation where you finger paint the word sorry in shit. At least he had remorse. Like, dude, there's nothing I could do. But how does it just, what happened in there? I don't know.

Was he doing cartwheels? I don't know. Just fucking diarrhea cartwheels? Like, how does it just go up the wall? And you're like, sorry. All I can say. You just throw your socks and underwear away, and you're like, well, better say sorry. All I can say is, my stinky penguin story, I well, better say sorry. All I can say is my stinky penguin story,

I mean, it was bad. But never at any point would there have been it up the wall. Like it overflowed and spilled onto the floor. But I couldn't imagine somehow. Maybe he like slipped in it and got up and was bracing himself. But good God. And then how did Sasha come out covered in it? Yeah. guess there's a bomb in there she must have fell she slipped on this shit yeah oh because how else would it happen i don't know when i started reading that i was like yeah you'd

open that what is you'd open the stall door and be like there's shit everywhere and then leave but to come out covered in shit and be fucking pissed about it? There was like a shit bomb that went off and she was in there. Mm-hmm. Sorry. Remember that episode of Mr. Bean? No. When he wanted to paint his house? No.

Then he put like white paint bucket and then put fireworks like M80s and stuff in there. And then he covered his house up. The things he didn't want to get covered exploded and painted his house white. But then the guy forgot his hat and he walks in and it blows up. And there's an outline of the guy reaching for his hat. Yeah. No, that's funny. That's what I'm visualizing happening here. She wandered in there.

Fucking shit bomb went off. And she comes out just dripping in shit. Man, this already sounds fun. It must be one of those locations that just brings those type of people in just like stuff yeah the stories for life the memories yeah um okay well fuck yeah dude episode 107 yeah you feel happy you want to do that do the whole thing yeah so i don't have to talk all right hey you want i don't even know how i'm sitting up right now can you see it in my eyes yeah i could tell yeah why is it getting worse you look worse than you did yesterday it's been like

fucking six days and then you were just breathing all over me so i'm probably gonna get sick now probably not hopefully you're not contagious i don't think i would still be if you're that sick maybe you still are i hope not anyway become part of the gaggle. Patreon.com slash, I didn't say forward, Can You Don't Podcast. Be sure to follow us on IG, Facebook, Can You Don't Podcast. Subscribe to our YouTubes. If you have something you want to see on the show, email that shit in to heyguysatcon. Can you don't con. Can you don't con.

Can you don't con. Can you don't con. Can you don't con. Can you don't con. Can you don't con. Can you don't con. Can you don't con. Can you don't con.

Can you don't con. Hey guys, it couldn't come, don't. Can you come on my don't? Can you come pod don't? Rate and review us wherever you listen to the podcast because it really does help us out. I don't know. It's something with the algorithm just helps us out. Let's people know that you're interested. Whoever

the people that control the algorithm. Thanks for Uncle Zachy Poo for producing today's show. Be sure to check out all the podcasts Zach does. It's scat with a K. And cards, cards, cards. They're gone now. They're gone?

They're gone now. Woo-hoo! Yeehaw! I was just kidding. I have money. You get it. Or whatever. Yeah!

And thanks to the babysitters who run the playground and the groups. We appreciate y'all. You want to wrap it up? Yeah, let's wrap it up. Yell out Zach or something. Zach. babysitters who run the playground and the groups. We appreciate y'all. You want to wrap it up? Yeah, let's wrap it up. Yell at Zach or something. Zach, can you wrap up? Good God. Wrap it up already, huh? Put a condom on it. All right, Joe.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Why? Because the pee is silent. Yeah. I tried to. I get it. Because of the way it's spelled.

It's a pterodactyl. Yeah, it is. That's why it's funny. I wonder why. It's probably the root of the word, but what's the point? What's the fucking point of silent letters? Like, no? Why is the K silent? You don't Kano?

Why? That's what I was going for. Second baseman. Bonus stuff? Yeah, we'll get on in there. Are you going to be alive? I'm trying. I'm squeezing through. I you going to be alive? I'm trying. Okay.

I'm squeezing through. I'm going to make it happen. But I won't fall asleep. Okay. Probably. That's good. Okay. Yeah.

Love you guys. Love you. We'll see you next week. Yeah. Sometime. Do it. Bye. Bye. Outro Music