Can You Don't? - Can You Don't? | Inside Out. Goose Men. Traffic. Airplane Pasta.

Episode Date: September 24, 2025

Joe might run for Mayor. And his entire platform will be built around upgrading ONE GODDAMN THING THAT HAS BEEN LEFT BEHIND SINCE 1995! Let's talk about that, what it would be like living with 20 tiny men, can the washer/dryer actually turn your clothes inside out, winning a sweepstakes promising 'money for life' but having that company go bankrupt, strangers using a trampoline to save your family from a house fire, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://www.patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast ***New Episodes every Wednesday at 12pm PSTWatch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/qrpQOtGKY70Send in segment content: [e-mail]: http://canyoudontpodcast.comMerch Inquires: [e-mail]: http://facebook.com/canyoudontpodcastIG: http://instagram.com/canyoudontpodcastYouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wyt5rtOfficial Website: http://canyoudontpodcast.comCustom Music Beds by Zach CohenFan Mail:Can You Don't?PO Box 1062Coeur d'Alene, ID 83816Hugs and Tugs.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Inside Out, Goose Men, Traffic, Airplane Pasta I'm wearing fucking pants and a flannel, and you're wearing a cutoff and some short shorts. I don't know what you're doing, dude. still summer. I know. But I mean, you know it's depressing in this household is I put on a flannel shirt in every single person in the households that I look cute today. That's all it took was me to just give one fuck about what I look like. It is pretty incredible. I know that. All I did was not wear a t-shirt and then like shorts your pants. And I put a shirt on and then a flannel over it. And everyone was like, you look really good. Yeah. I'm like, all right. I'm like, all right.

Whenever I put on like a polo shirt or something, it's like... Change the world. Oh, dude. Easy fucking Mel Gibson. Why so serious? Yeah, seriously. 171, that number kind of sucks. But this episode is going to be a lot of fun.

Hey, I made a website that I'm not sure. Well, I know everyone out there does not know about it. No, Brian, you know about it. Zach, you do not. So I'm glad for you to discover this along with everybody else. Yeah. But before the start of the NFL season, I just wanted to save myself and my fellow Cleveland

Browns fans some time. So head on over to Will the Browns Be Good This Year.com and go just push enter. And it'll give you your answer. And it's important. Share it with everyone you know that likes football or as a Browns fan. Because when you go

to the website, all it says is no. That's it. So, will the Browns be good this year dot com. That is as basic as it gets right there. Just says no. So

you don't have to worry about anything for the rest of your life if you're a Browns fan. It gives you all the information you can it. It's right there. And then right below it has a small little can you don't podcast so we can spread the love around if you guys start sharing that. So please do. Patreon, head on over there. Thanks to everyone who has signed

up recently. It's how you get the bonus content on the end of every episode. And then reminder that we also are firing off The Pond. At the time that you're listening to this, because you get the episodes early if you're in Patreon, it could be tomorrow night or it could be tonight, depending on what you're listening or when you're listening. But the first one, we're going to talk about shit, maybe recap the episode, do some merch stuff.

Who knows? For the September 23rd at 7 p.m. right there on our Patreon page, which is patreon.com slash can you don't podcast. You like that? I do. I mean, there's a lot of promo we're doing right now. I just sit back in Marvel. Are you hard?

Look at him, go. I like a semi. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, shit. All right. Oh, shit. Were they here?

Already? The Golden Geeks. God, dang. Jordan Holiday. Daniel Spatz. Daniel Collier. Matthew Leonard. The sofa king.

Donald Fisher. Matt Johnston. Neil Duffity. Maggie Stokes. Jason Cloy. Oh, man, those spots are locked up right now. We've been kicking around the idea of maybe expanding the golden goose tier a little bit. I'm sure that's something we'll talk about in the pond.

So add that to the list of things we're going to go over. But thanks to everybody who's signed up to be a golden goose, when those spots do open up on our Patreon, if you're in a position to help us out at the highest tier, please do so. Bring your bread to the pond. Yeah, hawkathon. It's fucking going. We're getting closer and closer, but every time we get a few,

It seems like we lose a few, so we're still working our way through the honkathon. For the love of God, please, help us. Get Brian's eyes checked. We were almost there, and then the new month starts, and then it drops off from like, oh, we're dealing near there. And now we're right back to almost there.

Yeah. 450, the hot air balloon ride, 475. Zach is going to get his own camera, and I promise it's going to be high quality. More on that here in just a little bit. And at 500, an extra Patreon episode, every single month exclusive for The Gaggle. Uh, we do have a quick little email update before we get rolling today.

Email sent in by our son Anthony. He writes, fathers of mine. Tell me, how have you been? But more off key. Uh, sorry, got that song stuck in my head, but I wanted to write you guys about a similar arrangement my wife and I have from last week's petty beef that comes with some funny backstory to it. So this is about the back massage. I'll scratch your back. A little tip for chat.

Yeah, I guess getting jerked off while you scratch someone's back. Damn, it sounds so amazing. So the arrangement we have is, I'll rub your feet if you tie my shoes. Now, to give it the right context, my wife and I once owned a home in Marysville, California, a.k.a. the podunk meth capital of California. Man, I can't. God damn. Never heard of it, but I'm sure it sounds delightful. It sounds lovely this time of year.

It sounds hyper. Always something going on. What the fuck? What's happening? Oh, you put your headphones on through the phone cord? No. That's the first. Wow.

One day we were stuck in traffic Picking our kid up from school And she happened to see what she thought Was another homeless man Tying another man's shoes I mean You never see that Are you kidding me

Now thanks to the stop traffic I also look over And saw what was really going down A very toothless meth head going down Going to town on the other Very toothless meth head Who was leaning on a bike sideways With the kickstand down

That's the most casual blowjave you can get No teeth and a kickstand. Well, at this point, I looked at my wife and reminded her, Mary'sville doesn't have any kindness. She finally put two and two together and had to tell our 10-year-old son to put his head down. From that day forward, it led to the greatest phrase to pass off in front of kids that are

still innocent and let you know what's up. With most of it sounding like, if you'll do blank, I'll tie your shoes later. Or my personal favorite that works 99.99% of the time, for me, other results may vary. I'll rub your feet if you tie my shoes That's a nice code It is Anyway daddies You don't uh

And don't you dare think I forgot about Beautiful tree man Kami uncle oh mine Ah Hope you guys are doing well And keep that great content Floating into my ear holes Your tree person son

Anthony Anthony Oh my goodness I love that when you It's a little Throwing a little code Yeah In front of the kids Maybe get

And unless she doesn't care. Yeah. I'll do the dishes if you tie my shoes. Yeah. And then she's like, okay. The kid's like, God, dad,

you got to learn how to tie your fucking shoes. Yeah, he's like, you were teaching me how to tie my shoes. No wonder I can't figure it out. You just keep using that phrase. Like your kid's like 18 and still thinks that you just don't know how to tie your shoes. Yeah. And actually you just want your knob bob.

As long as you're getting your knob bobbed. A little slobobber. A little slobobber. What's funny, you know, uh, just quick, real quick.

Yeah. My kids are still young enough to where they don't know what's going on tying your shoes you know but i know at some point like they're they're going to be old enough to realize when mommy's tying dad's shoes what's really going on mm-hmm she's it's it's harder to get it harder to get away with it and they're going to think back at all the times that you were asking to get your shoes tied yeah and be like that whole time who sounds like the birds and bees are choking it does why is why is daddy slapping mommy Does it really feel that good to get your shoes tied?

Why are you praying when you're getting your shoes tied, Daddy? Oh, God. Oh, my God. Oh, fuck. I'm in a fucking can. Yeah, so there you go. Love it, Anthony. Maybe I'll borrow that.

That's pretty good. We didn't even address, if you're watching the video episode of the podcast, there are two additional jars of shit. I'm right here on the arcade table in the studio. gagged a little bit just see yeah for the first time so we uh we're doing a little kitchen remodel and we're just got going through some stuff and get some boxes cleared out to set up like a makeshift kind of uh meth kitchen you know is what we have to live out of for a couple months and um cassie came across these we'd have no idea really what's in them but they are canned fish and her best guess is one is tuna and one is salmon so they were they in the like the back

of the cupboards. No, they never, we don't remember moving them. We were just kind of finding new, like just searching for new things to set up the kitchen, right? Are they from you or are they from this house? Not from us.

No, they're from us. We just don't know what time period they came from. They've probably been traveling around with Cassie for like 20 years. Just one of those things that found its way into your life, whether, but look at this little threesome. Yeah. Got the peach jar, canned fermented salmon and canned fermented tuna.

which one's the side if you open all these things up peaches salmon's got to be the main right i mean yeah i mean peaches are they're so big though and they've been with us for so long are they the main chorus i don't know but looking at it's making me fucking feel yucky i honestly when i look at that it feels like a lab like when you would go into a lab that's what like you'd see something up on the shell yeah and it's like it's like a brain or a spleen or something sitting in the thing like that's that's not food that's not fish and that's not pears that's human human parts fucking parts is what it looks like to me the good news is our studios already decorated for

Halloween yeah so that's great throw a little spider web on there and call it good fuck yeah all right let's get the show rolling you ready yeah keep rolling rolling rolling Zach rolling Zach Zach Hey shut up start the show already Zach Zach Zach so staying on he's doing it the whole time Zach? Zach? All right. So this was sent in by our son, Nick.

Okay. Nick the dick. Hmm. That's why I think he goes by. Big Dick Nick. Big Dick Nick Rick Stick flick. Big Dick or whatever. Yeah.

Would you rather live with one man-sized goose or 20 goose-sized men? Hmm. And we've, so yet there's been, there's a very popular, would you rather, that's been around a feels like since the dawn of the internet and maybe before that where it was like would you rather fight like whatever size this or whatever size tiny this like one well we did the b yeah giant size b giant size b but it just seems a little different when you got to live with them so this isn't about aggression yeah necessarily like you're not just trying to survive uh but you're just living you're just like god fucking all night with this guy these guys

20 tiny people. Bright! Help! Help! Jumping up for the cereal. But grown men. Grown men. So do they talk like... I'm assuming they don't have high-pitched voices.

They have to, because their vocal cords are tiny. To them, it's not high-pitch. Yeah. To them be like, hey, bro, are you passed with a cereal? And all you hear is, Hey, bro! Will you pass me the cereal? So are these guys your friends? No, you just live with them.

I think maybe kind of like a fraternity type situation. Oh, so you live, you're like, okay, so you're living with a fraternity of goose-sized men that are just going about their day. Yeah. Sounds like the story for Snow White. Yeah, but smaller, right? And more of them. Goose and more of them. How many dwarves were there, seven?

Yeah. Yeah, so we got 20. So honky and goonky and goosey. Yeah. Goosey and Lucy. Goosey Lucy and gunky and honky Fuggles Fuggles and muggles

Web That's 20 That's a lot of names That's a lot of names You can call them whatever you want They're fucking tiny Yeah You're like my name's Greg

You're like whatever honky What name's Greg Whatever you fucking honker Quit call me that Can you please get the lucky cards Like do they go to a job Or are they just around all the time I mean, good luck

I mean, I'm not involved in their personal affairs, but good luck getting the job. Like, how are those? What are you going to be able to like a, they drop you down in a manholes? Yeah. Owee! Yeah, they're doing things that normal size people can't get to.

I see the poop, but I can't pick it up, Joe. That's not very helpful, honky. Oh, God. God! No, but you're on the phone. You're like, no, boss. Well, he can get into spaces. You can't.

Yeah. But he can't fucking lift it. and he's like, well, it sounds like a, you gotta get some of his, hire some of his buddies. We don't have to pay him an eighth of the price. So 10 of them can lift what one... One turn? Yeah. One pile of wet toilet paper.

Like, helping each other carry a pencil. Okay, I've shrunken them down too far. Yeah, you're, they're... I mean, geese are pretty decent size. Like a tall goose. Yeah, you got a two-foot man. Yeah, you got like a little two... Almost to your waist.

Sure. That might be even worse. Fully extended. Yeah, because then they have some power. Like, they could hurt you. We're getting in, like, dwarf territory here, though. But, so, I mean, goose size, like a fully elongated goose, it gets pretty long. I think just a goose in the proper goose position.

So let's put them at about two feet, I'd say. That's still a pretty good size goose. That's one with, like, it's walking up, puffing up. Yeah. And they're, and they're tall enough to get around. I mean God What a

Picture in like a kitchen scene They can still They're tall enough To jump and like climb on shit And they're trying to do their own thing The spoon is just like this big in their hands They're trying to have a serious conversation with you Talking about the stock market

At breakfast Wow the Dow is really crashing And it's like Shut up Now you're making it set like that voice now I'm picturing like Wizard of Oz yeah and the munchkins like that it's living with fucking it's like living toddlers but they're grown men yeah yeah but well I mean the munchkins were but they all you follow yellow big road yeah like that's like that's basically

what you're doing okay you're Dorothy um but maybe they're maybe they're a cleaning team they all night honky squanky flonky web do they all live in a giant bed or sleep in a giant bed in a row good night joe it's like uh fuck what what's that orphanage uh no the tv show from the 60s 70s

uh with jim bob and john boy uh Zach help me out I don't know 8's not enough no it's the old it's the old western it's I've only had the internet It's the fucking Jim Bob and John Boy, and it's the, where they lived out on the prairie.

Little House on the Prairie? No, Little House on the Prairie. Oh, thanks. Was it even that was... I doubt. I don't know. Not a little house and prayers, but John Boy. Anyway, so, fuck, where was I going with this?

Tucking people into bed. Oh, yeah. Because at the end of the episode, they all go to bed, and they're like, good night, John Boy, good night, Jim Bob, good night Peggy Sue. And they all start, you don't remember this? Yeah. But I just thought that was like a, whatever, the something family. where they're all saying good night to each other through the windows.

It's, uh... Oh, man. The Walton's. Okay. Never seen it. I used to watch the show with my dad. What? Isn't that the Hillbillies?

No. Different family. All right. They moved to Beverly. The Walton's lived out. So, anyway, so you have 20-sized goose men. They're like, good night, John, boy. Good night, honky.

Good night, schonky. And last one's like, good night, Joe. You're like, good night. Jesus Christ. Every night with a shit. Squonky and honky and conky. Squamky, honky, web. I showed you my webby and webbby and web.

That's a callback. Oh, yeah. Remember that? Yeah. Okay. So we've, our brains naturally went to a night. What a nightmare would be to be with 20 goose size men? What about one man-sized goose?

So, like, let's make him six foot. That's too tall for you. Is it? I mean, I'm. I mean, I'm an average-sized man. No, I don't know. I'm just trying to make myself feel taller. Yeah, let's go up the six foot.

No, five-nine is average. God damn it. I'm not doing this again. You have above-average-sized penis, so be-old, get over it. All right, one-man-sized goose. So it's going to add same goose tendencies living with this motherfucker. Like you're brushing your teeth and you see like, like that eyeball down a dark hallway is but it acts like, like,

Yeah, it acts like a goose, right? So if you approach it, it's not your buddy. No, no. I mean, it might get used to you. You might get to really work on it, have it warm up to you, have a little big goose pal. But they would make such a fucking mess, right? Shitting everywhere. Oh, huge goose shits.

Oof. I mean, that alone, I think I would risk being able to at least communicate and threaten 20 goose-sized men. Like, I feel like a little. you know having some consequences being a full-sized man you'd have a little safe with 20 goose-sized men in your household that one goose that's huge

you can't communicate with it you can't reason with it you can't fight it yeah I mean you could try you like fuck you goose and he's like like it could really fuck you up some real damage I'm envisioning like

hearing those big ass feet yeah going out for a snack in the middle of the night trying to get the fucking uh the fridge open running into the windows god damn it uh and every once with like the the like the flapping of the wings just like yeah but so taking a little bath and i'm envisioning uh just regular house struggles like roommate struggles so you know the goose shit and everywhere and how annoying yeah how annoying yeah how annoying that would be to like have to deal with that shit but I'm all now I'm like

but I'm also like going the other way with the two the goose size men where maybe they have an issue with you so you like come home from work and they're all sitting around in living room you just bowl them over it was like the little bowling pins get out of my way get out of my way

you can't keep doing this to us that blah blah blah fuck off just kicking them yeah yeah yeah yeah And you just lock your door And they can't fucking open it They're out there Oh, fuck it

Oh, there's all going Digit tigig 40 fists Yeah, just banging on the door Oh But I'd take that over a fucking Angry goose banging on my door Like that goes from like

annoying to you might die Yeah Oh but you I mean, you know, whatever Um Okay I mean What are you going to say before I went into a violent flight of fancy about kicking tiny men out of my way?

Just that you come home from work and like, uh, let's say the verses like you come home from work and there's just shit everywhere. And how annoying that would be in this fucking goose you can't. It's not going to, it doesn't clean up after itself and you can't reason with it that way versus coming home and like they have a problem with something you're doing. And it's just 20 of them sitting around in the living room. Kind of like an intervention. on tiny chairs Yeah, but they're all just like They're all sitting in there waiting for you to come home

And you come home and they're like All right, we all They're all like They're all They're all Voicing their Frustration over something They're all sitting around

I can't let it go I can't I picture like an intervention circle And you walk in You have like your work back And you're fucking exhausted They're like There's an open chair

And they're all sitting around Like Brian Please come here And just like You walk into their little Tiny circle You're just standing in the middle And they're like

You keep leaving these giant pencils everywhere They're standard size pencils Regular size pencils Well they're really heavy And they're really starting to hurt our back And you're like Okay And you put your back down

And you start kicking them all in the chest You just fucking Joe stop Stop It's kind of like the matrix Where they punch them And they go flying Like that's what I visualize if they ever attacked you

The scene in Matrix 2 I mean they could actually They could really hurt you But the just the soul ability to be able to communicate With the roommates that you live with Is why I'm going to choose 20 goose-sized men I mean

Fucking three of them could use a toilet at a time So you don't need to expand bathrooms But just a goose shit and everywhere Just I mean The feathers it would lose You can start a pillow company, I guess You can lock them up in the garage And start a pillow company

Yeah When they start Do geese molt Shed Um Shed you big dumb bitch I think you're underestimating I think you're assuming that all these

Goose-sized men Are just okay with like Being all the top of each other Like you're saying three of them get to use the bathroom at the same time We could divide a standard room into four it feel huge to Yeah but there's still like there's still men who need their own space Not to me

Like yeah You have to remember They're not they're all they're not like A bunch of twins Like they're grown size men with their own lives and their own They're just happen to be It's just I mean buck beds will do Goose size men

That's what you're You're treating them as children Who are living and like no these are grown men with like real lives Then they better pay me men, rent. Yeah. Now I get 20 incomes from my standard house. Yeah, that's not a bad deal.

I'm just living off 20 grand a month from tiny goose size men. Imagine one of what, hey, I can't pay rent today. Like, what you're saying? Trying to come up with like a Hey, I was wondering if I could have a chat

with you. I'm a little short this week in this month. You're always a little short on every month. month, fucking kick him. God damn it. A little short, this one's. Oh, this one, get the fuck out of here. And you could just, like, you ever have a dog where you...

You could also not kick them? We haven't covered that. Like, you'd also not kick them. Yeah, I mean, like, what fun is that? Again, I, you're treating them like they're not real people. These are still grown men, like, if you just go... Tell that to the court. Yeah, but if you haul off and just kick someone or abuse them, you're still, it's still assault.

I know. I'm picturing a courtroom. It's like, today we have the case of 20 goose size men versus Joe. Oh, they'll hear from one of the goose size men now. And they look over and you can't even see his head. You just see the thing. The little gate opens up. A little hand reaches up and grabs the microphone and pulls it out of sight.

Yep. He's a real dick. Raise your hand and swear to the whole truth. You just see a little hand. Gets his hand slammed in the Bible. Yeah, and then they say something, and then all he's sitting here, yeah, and they're all in behind the pews, you don't see him. Order in the court.

He sluice your shit and go over and start kicking him. I can't. Order in the court. Your honor, I can't stop kicking him. Your honor, I can't fucking do this. He's walk over and pick him up and throw him. Okay. Lawn darts.

I'm still picking them because I can talk to him in reason. I'm not going to actually kick him. but I can't live with the goose. What are you guys picking? I'm picking the goose. Picking the goose. Okay. I think I might...

You have living with bird experience. Well, I don't want to hear all those 20 opinions. I think that'd be annoying. Yeah, that's a lot. Just from a standpoint of, I think we're underestimating that these are 20 full-grown men with their own lives, their own issues, and their own dreams and their own dreams and relationships? Yeah. I don't know if I could deal with that. Yeah.

Okay. So I think I could put up with... I could figure it out with a goose. Put up a barricade that just keeps the goose on their part of the house. Yeah. I don't want to have to do that with 20 adult men. I run a little science lab. Only Yelovic Road to the fucking unemployment office.

Get out of your job. All right. Moving off. What are you thinking about? Zach! Hey. Hey, what's up, babe? What are you thinking about?

You know, nothing. Actually, you know what? I'm thinking about a lot of shit. What are you? thinking about. All right, I'm thinking about this. This just happened yesterday at the time that we were recording this. Cass had to go to Seattle for work, and it just happened to be a very busy kid day.

We had kids sports. We had kid practices. We have kids getting out of school at different times. So I was full-blown, you know, getting work done, but also had to be dad taxi for the day. So get through all that And then I'm heading over To pick up the kiddos from school And over in Cordillane

Beautiful Down Cordillade, Idaho And as we're heading over there It's got to be a quick turnaround Because now that I'm heading back to beautiful Liberty Lake, Washington And on the way there I see a bunch of flashing lights

and a bunch of cars go in the opposite direction the way I'm about to have to go to head back. And I'm like ah fuck. If you know the freeways around here. Yeah. I mean in time was tight. It was tight tight to make it all happen. So I see that and I'm like, oh damn it.

We get closer. I'm kind of evaluating it assessing the data I can see visually. And there's a truck and the truck has a trailer and the trailer is pulling like a side by side and it looked like one of the tires or the axle like just came off the fucking trailer, and the police officers

had cones up blocking an entire lane of the highway. So, I was like, oh, man, I don't know how long this is going to take to get cleared up. And the traffic was going all the way back, all the way between the two towns, and all the way through, beautiful Cornelaine. I know.

Oh, fuck, all right. Well, I don't have time for this shit. So what I did, I was like, okay, well, I know that there are traffic cams. Right? You can look up what's going on on the freeway. If you really need to know what's happening, you don't want to just rely on. Like, it was so fresh that Google Maps had not picked up that there was a disturbance quite yet. So it wasn't giving me any estimated times on my travel.

So I defaulted back to traffic cams. And you guys will be shocked to know that the traffic cams in this area are still using, apparently, the ones that came in the box when you got your Windows 95 fucking computer. They're so bad. And this particular one, it wasn't even like, A traffic camera, it was just taking pictures. And it would send me a picture once every minute and a half. And the picture, I don't know, had like a resolution of eight. It was, I was like, what the, is that the same car?

Is that the same red brick that was sitting there a minute and a half ago? Or is that a different red brick? And the other red brick is now further down the highway. I'm just trying to gauge how fast things are moving. But then I was thinking about it like, I was like, it can't be that. expensive. First of all, like, just on the, on the bottom tier of upgrading these traffic camps, just have it be fucking video. Because we have that, we have that issue here, too, because between us and beautiful Seattle, Washington, there's a giant pass called Snowquammy

Pass. And in the winter, it can be, and often is a complete fucking shit show. The elevations up, all of the clouds and precipitation comes from the ocean smashes into the cascades and dumps tons of snow on the road so you have to always be aware of the snow conditions if you're heading over that way even those ones are fucking pictures they send you a picture every now and again it's like that's not fucking helpful in it at nighttime it just sends you a night vision picture of white snow and you're like oh great my family's safety depends on this

one picture, this one eight resolution picture. Like just a single digits. It's so bad. You're like, is that the road? Is that I can't tell if that's a family on fire trapped in a vehicle? Is that a semi barreling down down the road? Or is that? Or is it a jackknifed? Oh, that's a snowbank. Yeah. Like you literally cannot tell anything. So I was just curious on what options. I was like, here we are, 2025. What options do we have available? How expensive are they? So I went to the internet and I just, like just a basic covering thing that I want to do. And so I went a little too far thinking maybe the price would be a little ridiculous.

So I looked for a waterproof 4K, 60 frames per second camera. That would, you know, it's just a streaming camera. So there's no data that has to be saved. This thing will just transmit the picture to you. And then once it's been broadcast, it can just go away. It's just lost data. $57.99. for this reasonable for a fast auto focus auto light reaction dual noise canceling microphone

streaming at 4k 30 frames per second or 60 frames at 1080 for 57 dollars I would have do we have it in the budget government I would have guessed several hundred dollars for that kind of quote and that was like the first thing I just that was the first search I didn't try I was like Do these exist? Fuck, yeah, they exist. And they're right there. You know, why they have to do that. They're still using the processing power from the Windows 95.

Right. So it's only a few megabytes they can transfer. That's all they can do. That's why you're getting pixelated pictures every six minutes. I believe this baby, if I remember right, was given us eight, eight megapixels, which even is fine. But if you saw, I mean, I could try and look up the example of what it was. You guys want to see it? I mean, I've, so we, we travel over for Seahawks games, Husky games, things like that.

Yeah, you do. And during that time, a lot of it is fall, it's, you know, wintertime. And so we're always checking the pass when we're driving over there. Yeah. And I can verify what you're saying. It's a gray, nasty, pixelated image. And we're wondering, do we keep going? Mm-hmm.

Are they going to close the pass? We did, on a way back one time, we missed. the closing by probably five minutes and we had to go north all the way up north of Seattle to go Stevens Pass and cut back over and come around over and the old-fashioned part of it and part of the reason was we could we just couldn't tell we're like oh do we keep pressing forward we should have because we missed the thing yeah but if we would have had accurate real-time information like you're suggesting which is reasonable thank you thank you Yeah. And I think it's weird. It's the same boat as security cameras. I mean, how long have we been talking about that shit?

Yeah. Like, have you seen this man? You're like, who fucking has? A blur of, yeah, like, it's like, look at this. And like the, it's like the, it's like, I don't know what I'm looking at. It looks like a, like a middle school stop animation project. Maybe they don't, maybe they just, they just like the mystery aspect of it. It's, it's more exciting. They don't really want to know. Yeah. Because they, there are cameras. that facial recognition cameras they could like they got us they know they know you're here right now right just because you were driving your car here yeah but they don't get access to those cameras we get the shitty we just get a picture every couple minutes

yeah they're like good luck good luck with that so we know the technology is out there I'm just wondering why why has it not been upgraded it's just it's so done yeah but fuck you man I would just cut funding for education and give me some traffic camps yeah yeah you know what i mean well maybe joe for governor yeah would you rather have better roads or better cameras if you had to choose did i rose 57 dollars in 99 cents that's how much

it costs to have the road people fucking eat a bowl of cereal you got a times up by times by couple cameras you got times that by at least 100 cameras how are we ever going to afford it we could We could move some money around and come up with that. But then they got to... How are we going to... I mean, how are we going to buy the $2,000 toilet paper holders if we spend $5,000 on new traffic camps? But you've got to hire the person to go out and replace them.

Then you have to update the system so it can... So it can process that sort of... Yeah. I mean, it's a whole ordeal. We want answers. Yeah. Can't do it. I want to see the computers that are running these traffic camps.

You need to watch your... You need to watch your... Are you trying to stop me from getting in trouble? I think you're, you're, I'm going into territory I shouldn't be going to. Territory, you don't want to be. Like right now in some office, it's like, boeep, boeep, yep. Joe knows. Joe knows.

You're going to get killed and then they're going to be like, who did it? And they'll be like, I don't know, all we have is this pixelated image of this guy. All we have was this traffic camp footage that doesn't relate to this at all. Joe isn't even there. He was at home. Sounds like a him problem. Don't ask me. You probably probably have this.

as you was in front of our shitty traffic cameras. All right, I just want to bring that up. Do you want to move off to some dick, or do you have something more to say? No. Joe for mayor. Yeah, all mayor. Yeah. You think you'd be a good mayor?

I don't like, yeah, it depends on what the goal is. I'm not a big fan of telling people what to do. But I like the, I feel like I can hear stuff and then make choices. So, yeah, maybe mayors for me. Yeah. Do you think you could be a good mayor, Zach? Nope. Like, I feel like I can make the best choices based on information that's being given to me for the impact of the community and how to budget the funds to be used correctly.

But I could not go out and, like, tell people what to do and make laws and arrest people and slide sneaky stuff into good bills just so I can get what I want type of shit. I'm not sure. I'm not sure I could handle that responsibility. of just doing the right thing well but what's the right thing new park everyone gets a skate park

yeah but if that means okay we get a news park but that now our traffic cams aren't updated first thing my platform is traffic cams you think I'm gonna get fucking elected they're like our schools are falling apart

traffic camps imagine like you're in the debate and they ask you a question because you know how politicians always deflect so what do you think That's on universal health care. I mean, I don't know much about that.

But I do know that all, like, healthy Americans deserve a 4K-60-per-second traffic camera. And they're like, what? I'm like, what? Would you like to respond to his... Here, check this out. And it's like a PowerPoint of, like, crystal clear traffic cams. I'm like, tell me that does not improve your mental health. This is what we could be...

That's good funding on therapy. And just look at how good this makes you... feel. Look at them moving. God, it feels good. This is like, this guy's a fucking lunatic. This is happening right now. This is real time. This is real time right now.

This is outside. Look. Here, this one's down the road a little bit. And like, you look, peeking out the other hand. See if anybody's interested. Are they buying it? Are they buying it? You're like, you get it.

You hit him in the forehead with a laser pointer. You get it, right? And he's like, yeah. Like, yep, you get it. So this one just a little further down from that one that was down the road. You're just all in on the fucking cameras. Like, what are you going to do about the housing crisis? Sex trafficking.

Well, the first thing, no, I mean, I'm going to get to that. But the first thing I want to know is, click. How fast is that car going? Wow. I mean, I guess, whew! God, damn. Is that a 68 Corvette? Was that a hemmy?

God damn. You got speed limit and everything on there. Just making forward to the audience. back to the PowerPoint. You just, some guy's like, Sir, sir, that's your time. Joe, hold on one more. It's a little further down the road.

Joe, stop. Okay, fuck. Fold it up. Any questions? No. All right. Okay, time to get off to dig. Zach, fucking do it.

Is it dumb? Is it interesting? Is it cool? Then it's dick. Gosh, dang it. My moose pad on my chair is sliding all over today. I'm just, I picture, like, being able to weave the sex trafficking into the cameras. Yeah.

Like, well, we, it involves traffic, right? Yeah. Traffic cam, sex trafficking. What are you do about all the child, like the human trafficking? It all starts with 4K with 60 frames per second. It'll start with real, regular traffic. Well, we're going to tackle regular traffic and then we'll get into human traffic. Right.

It's, I mean, that's a lot more complex. You got to figure out traffic first, and then you start. You get you different avenues. I used to put your feelers out there into the arterials. Right. Yeah. But first, you got to get a crystal clear picture here of Barker in 90. I just, I don't know why I'm picturing one of those old little.

Yeah. The little pictures. All right, here's it. Slideshow. Yeah, but it has to be live, so you're basically rotating it like a Gatling gun. Yeah, there's real. So this is what... This is what it'll actually look like if it was a video camera.

Talking over the noise. It's just a strobe effect. Everyone was having seizures. This was really hard to set up. This was more expensive than a new 4K traffic camera. Catches on fire. All right. You want to read this story?

I feel like I've just been talking. This is crazy. My throat is hurting. This is crazy. That's probably because of the syphilis. You see how you do. All right. Oregon Man won 5K a week forever in 2012.

Spent cash like he was set for life, but publisher's clearinghouse went bankrupt. Now you might lose home. Oh, man. Who would have thought? What a disaster. That just goes to show you, man. Nothing's permanent.

Nothing's free. I'm sure, brother. Nothing's free. Nothing's forever. Yeah. Now publisher clearinghouse has to clear out their house. So all their shit. Yeah.

And the closest thing. thing we have to forever are these fucking traffic cams we're using. Check those out. You're going back and forth between the two. So old? What I want. Ccleek. Old? Cucleek. This is what I want.

You guys see it, right? I rest my case. You're not in court. Do you have anything to say? Just using all the wrong terminology. Your honor. I demand a recess. What the fuck you're talking about? This is a debate. Fucking debate your mom. That sounds like a Trump debate

All right, back to you An old sweepstakes TV commercial Once promised Only Publishers Clearinghouse Can make you so rich So fast Oh man, I love it But

Some unlucky winners discovered this year The opposite is also true Publishers Clearinghouse PCH Can make your fortune Disappear just as quickly Yeah, that seems illegal

Back to you Back to you Johnny That's what happened happened to John Wiley, a 61-year-old Oregon man who won 5,000 a week for life from the PCH Prize Patrol in 2012. Five grand a week. Awesome.

Was that $250,000, $250k a year? Is that five is the round number, so I'm guessing that's before taxes. So he's probably not pulling in quite that much. If he would have done that properly, he'd be retired, though, if he would have invested something. Yeah, and put it away. Yeah. You know what he should invest in. New traffic games.

They would have seen this coming. God, brand new trail. Traffic cams. Should it gave me, just a little bit of money. I'm going to really brought this into focus. According to NBC affiliate KGW8. KGW8. Nice.

Wiley received an annual check for $260,000 every January. He's got it all once. Here you go. That's dangerous. The money let him retire and buy a house on six acres and scenic Bellingham, Washington. But this year, the checks suddenly stopped. A few months later, while they learned why,

PCH had filed for bankruptcy without warning him or the winners. God, that's a big move. Not a little heads up. But just being him, like, he's sitting there. He's in the mailbox. I picture him driving his brand new Lambo. And he's driving, he's just, like, you know, having some thoughts. And he goes, yeah, fuck.

Did I get my check this week? He's like, huh? The freaking door. He's walking, he's like, where did I put that? I mean, I didn't already cash it, right? I'm getting so many checks. Maybe next week, next week probably. Fuck you, copper.

I got a check coming in two weeks. Paying a week, copper. Fucking nerd. Fucking nerd. while he told KGW8 The turn of events feels like a nightmare Made worse by the fact that he hasn't worked in more than a decade And can't find a job now

Yeah Why would you? What did he do with his life? Fun Is what he did 250K year for over a decade Yeah Dude he made over

What two three million dollars And now he has nothing So he didn't say that he won a financial planner he won money so most people that win money are bankrupt pretty quick actually so wiley did what wiley wiley d what wiley do while he did what wiley do and what i probably would have done with it after a couple of years of putting it away i would have definitely created a nice cushion so that if public clearhouse went bankrupt i wouldn't be fucked that's where i would have started i would have started with that and then i've been like okay i've got half a million dollars here

Now I'm going to go fuck off. I'm going to invest this money, and then now I'm going to take my 240 and have some fun. Wiley didn't. Wiley went the other way. He went, I'm going to have fun all the time. That's what he did. He's probably fun to hang out with for those, what, 13 years. He's a Wiley cat.

Yeah. I mean, you take that 500K, you put it in a high, high percent. And a high fidelity traffic cam. Divide in an ETF, and you're getting paid 50K a year. Wow. Just been doing nothing. brother 50k a year huh for 5,000 dollars for 500k oh gotcha gotcha okay all right back to you honey whews um he was in his 50s when or like late 40s late 40s what's he doing he was

i want to hear stories we don't do interviews on this show but i'd love to hear what this what mr wiley did with his money for 13 years because it had to been He had to have been really fun to be around. Yeah. To spend that much money. I just think about like someone in their, like an athlete in their 20s getting a huge contract, blowing it all because you're buying everyone houses. You're 20 years old and you're just spending money.

But a dude that's like, I don't know, like you feel like you'd, whatever. Yeah. I'm not, whatever, this guy had fun, whatever. Okay. So where am I? With Bill's piling up, he sold off. off big ticket items like a jet ski and a trailer big ticket how would he make he wasn't making $200 a week did he make 6k off that jet ski maybe was it a hovering jet ski was it a concept one

it cost six million where's your fucking money wiley still expects to lose his home yeah for anyone who's ever daydreamed about life-changing wind wiley's story is a harsh reminder that easy money isn't always forever it's a reality check that it could strike anyone who finds themselves scrambling to offset the loss. Okay. So what are they doing with, so yeah, keep going. That's because ARB Interactive, which paid $7.1 million to buy PCH, announced it would only honor prizes one after it took over in July. We will honor prizes for everyone whose last name isn't Wiley.

But it's, yeah, there's 10 winners that are still owed money that they're not ever going to see. For past winners still waiting on payments, the Wall Street Journal noted. they'll have to seek payment from the bankruptcy estate. I think something tells me they're still going to get their money. Yeah. It's just going to be a little... Or at least a portion of it or something. Now Wiley's going to have to be a lawyer.

God. For a living? Right now, Wiley's a lawyer. He's got to be a lawyer to get his money. So he's going to get paid $260,000 a year to be a fucking lawyer. He's got to go to law school. He's going to get it. He'll get his money.

I'm not worried about it. PCH collapsed followed a sharp. post-pandemic declined. The company went from nearly 900 million in annual revenue pre-COVID to just over 180 million last year. What the hell did they do? Yeah, how did that, where did that money come? I never, they always like publishers clearinghouse and they give people money, but I never, was like, what do you do? Like, how did they get that money? We have to look up what PCH actually does. I didn't realize it was still around, to be honest, the clearinghouse. I thought that was over 20 years ago. That's the commercial, the giant check at

your front door right? When Ed McMahon Ed McMahon, that died. He died with him. He got buried with a trust in Ed McMahon. He got buried with a giant check. That's what I hear published, I think of Ed McMahon, and I think of giant checks, and I think of how Ed McMahon died so long ago.

Yeah. That's my only knowledge of it. Hmm. Let's see here. This doesn't help us either. Here's an AI overview. Publishers Clearing House actually does run legitimate sweepstakes and award prizes, though it's best known for its prize giveaways and a magazine Subscriptions.

That's right. Apparently that's what they did. They were like the one cent CD thing. Oh, fuck yeah. I remember them. What a rip off. The company also sells merchandise and in April 2025 file for bankruptcy.

Is that BMG? Was that one of the music one? BMI? BMG. I don't know. Isn't it? Bankers music clearance. You buy 14 CDs for a penny and they're like, yeah, I'll pay you later.

Yeah. Fucking nerd. And then they just make you sign up for 20 years of magazine subscriptions. Get your free CDs right now. Cancel any time. We won't pick up the phone. Good luck. Pick up the phone.

All right, let's move off to our next story. I'm just, I'm curious on how annoyed you guys would be, because I didn't really get the outcry. I guess it would depend on what mood I was in, but here you go. Here's the headline. It says, I'd be so mad. Influencer called out for making homemade pasta from scratch on a plane. Okay.

So an influencer has riled up thousands of people on TikTok after posting a video of herself, making homemade pasta from scratch on a plane 30,000 feet. That's cool. In the air. In the video, the foodie and pasta guru, Katie Brooks,

who goes by her name Buono Pasta Club, mixes flour and water together in a bowl while the plane is cruising through the clouds. She then rolls it into a dough, cuts it into small blocks using a knife. She didn't use a knife, by the way. I looked that up because you can't bring knives on airplanes.

Wait, I can't bring mouthwash onto a plane, but she can start a baking show. How much room does that? this lady have? See, that's why people are being... We've all been on a plane before. Use the knife. Shapes it using a tiny wooden pasta board. Didn't know that was the thing. I have no idea how she

managed to get a whole knife on board. So, she didn't. I looked, watched the video. She's using a very dull like, um, kind of like a spatula type thing. But with dough, like when you need it and you cut it, they have the long... You probably don't need to be sharp. You don't need it to be sharp. I'm sure

they looked at and they're like, you're not fucking killing anybody with this. Calm down. Yeah, she then rolls it into dough, cuts it into, I just read that. POV, you hate airplane food, so you make it yourself, the influencer, who has more than 225,000 followers on TikTok, wrote, and text on the screen. I'm more than that. It was obviously

meant to be a joke to get views to her pasta page, but the video is racked up a whopping 11.5 million views, and people aren't happy in the comments. Some people are arguing that making pasta on a plane is super unhygienic. Well, shut the fuck up. It's not your pasta. You're not going to eat it. You're not eating it. Yeah, it's not your problem. It's not your pasta you know what's my daddy's always say not my pasta not my problem when i met him that's what he said

first and the last thing he said yeah right so always remember not your pasta not your problem well others say it's just rude and annoying for a person that's sitting next to you uh see i don't get all that so here's some of the comments i don't know how people don't realize that airplanes are the most unhyjotic place one person wrote i lose my mind sitting next to this person normalize remembering you're in public imagine sitting next to this person i'd be so mad they're getting flour everywhere while I'm trying to nap also an assumption the video did not flower doesn't just fly around and if you're trying to nap what difference does it make what they're doing next to you yeah close your eyes you can't feel the flower

they're not talking to you you can punch her in the face when you wake up you know what I mean I think people are just probably upset because it's I think people are just sick of influencers yeah like just always shooting something in a public space whether they're like in a you're in Times Square and you're doing a fucking TikTok dance in public and they people are just like hey don't do that you're just fucking annoyed by it now hey you're weird don't do that yeah so it's i think it's probably like if it would have been like a mom making pasta for her baby to eat on the plane would they felt the same way as like a person shooting an influencer type video see i don't know i wouldn't i don't think i would be annoyed at all unless she kept on like bumping me when she was rolling your pasta yeah i'd be like hey stop it I'd want a little bag to take home See how she did Like listen

I'm cool with this If you give me a bag of pasta Yeah That's a funny conversation to have If you don't give me a bag of pasta I'm calling the cops Who wasn't playing pasta? Where was the sky marshal?

Yeah, he was the one making the pasta Okay He ordered it Well he I mean If it's not too much trouble Could you make me a couple pastas A pasta?

Was the uh Bratzy Draw some parmiziana Permissiana I know, but some of the people bitching, and I'm guessing the influencer also paid for this article to get picked up. Yeah. So there's that.

She's like, oh, there's some comments on here. I'll pay them. It'll continue to spread my video because I haven't gone to this. Let me see if I can get to TikTok. It said she had $225,000. Is that what it said? Something like that. Well, that's at 227.5.

So it's skyrocketing. So it's working. It's working. Pasta. airplane. I'm trying to find her big... Yeah, a lot of her other videos do not have anywhere near the amount of views. That one has 13.7 million now. So here's the thing. So it is working. She's going to start doing stuff in public places now. She's going to go like on a public bus and she's going to start doing

all these videos. Pasta in a public restroom? Yeah. I see I'd like that. Someone's like changing their baby's diaper and she's using the part of the table is to make her pasta. She's making the poop she's making pasta in a diaper and then wears it and then sells it on onlyfans i'd buy it yeah it's it's not the weirdest thing on only fans yeah i know it's i don't know it's it's weird because i you know i make the and when people call me an influencer it's like ugh yeah you have no influence um no and i don't i don't want to have influence i was just continuing on with our conversation last night right i just wanted to continue to tell you that you mean nothing to me right yeah thanks for the confidence yeah you're welcome um but there's just something

about people doing something in public and not respecting your fellow people around you? Yeah. I don't care if you do something in public, just have respect. That's it. And a lot of people don't. Yeah, a lot of people don't. But it doesn't, watching the video did not look like this pasta lady had no respect. If she's like, here, hold this.

And, like, throws a rolling pit full of flour at you. Here, hold this really quick. And you're just like, can you hold this light? Yeah, I guess getting antiqued, like Jackass used to say. Yeah. Remember that? Yeah. Yeah, here you hold, he'll hold this back of, it's like,

p, it's like, it explodes in your face. But this lady seemed like she was very in her own seat, just making some fucking pasta. I also, I mean, but where's, where's that video at? Where's the, where's the shot coming from? Where's, uh, in that article, like the, the, the video of her. It looks like, probably mounted. So, but where's this, is it, is that the fucking camera mounted in front of the person that's sitting?

I doubt it. Or look, she's like holding it. Go, I'll bring up the. So there it is if you guys want to see. Oh, so it's in front of her. Yeah. She just has it. Not mad at all.

I know. It's just in her own little space. See, there's the thing that's a knife. She's going to take the plane. Let me do. So that's how they do that. I wouldn't have learned it. I didn't have known how they did that.

Well, I'm sure. The pasta we eat, it's a fucking machine just punching the shapes. You like bow ties? It's making 40 million per second. Right. They hand do these. Yeah. There's that way and machine smash way.

What's funny is like the person sitting next to her was probably like her husband or maybe it was someone she doesn't know. And that person could not even have cared, but it's just the people, it's like people sitting at their keyboard, jealous that she's traveling, jealous that she... Is doing something with her life? Yeah, so they're hungry. Yeah, so they're just angry. Disatisfied with their lunch? Yeah, they're like, I want plain pasta.

Mm-hmm. I love airplane pasta. Okay. That's probably what it's going on. Probably is. All right, let's, we got to get off to our petty beef. Got to keep rolling. Zachie keep...

Silence in the court. are now entering the Petty Beef courtroom, where all sides of some bullshit will be heard and evaluated. The people are real. The cases are real. The rulings are final is Petty Beef. God, that baseline still tastes.

After all these years! All right, you want to read this one? Yeah, mostly because I want to say this guy's name. Okay. Which is probably a real name. I think it's legal. Yeah, it's the son.

As ascended by her son, Lemmy McDinglejurgen. Yes. So that's his government name for sure. Yeah, that makes sense. Well, how good howdy do you find... Whoops. Whoops. I just saw howdy and I wanted to jump straight to howdy.

Harkathon! Well, good howdy, do you find hunkin' daddies and uncle Zuck! This is your registered dummy Lemmy McJingledergan, government-issued name. See? It's right there I didn't read this And all this stuff What I'm saying

I should have just read it first I've come to Petty Beef Courthouse to provide My evidence On a few matters I hope this information Helps my wife and you The judge, executioner

And the opposing party Gain a better understanding As to why I'm clearly correct In all matters Shown in this testimonial I shall present my case Thusley I mean moving forward

Take note kids This is how you said That's how you said of a petty beef Follow McDingle Juergens Yeah, follow me! And no... We're going to the playground! Now I'm envisioning it kind of like in the old days, like with a judge with like the white...

Yeah, the wig? The wig, the white curls and stuff, you know? The wig and a bunch of hopes and dreams. And then shoot people if they don't like them. Right. There was like mercury in that powder too, so good stuff. We really just kind of figured things out along the way, didn't we? We took a while with that mercury stuff, that's for sure.

Why am I crazy? Can I drink this? Because you're wearing a fucking wig In public with all your friends I feel crazy I say old boy I feel like a not so Are we crazy?

You think it's the wigs and the makeup? All right I'd be itchy That's probably why it was so hard to detect Because everyone just looked like a weirdo Yeah This wig makes me feel funny Okay

All of history was itchy I think up until just a little bit itchy And smelly and itchy and scratchy. And cummy. Fucking poopy and cummy. And no particular order you may assess the following. Starting with that motherfucking laundry!

Which I cannot complain. Usually gets done whether I'm still out at work or later that night when my wife goes to bed. Gets done by her. She sometimes asks me to fold and I do. So without more than passing or without, I, fuck you, you bitch! fold, and I do so without more than a passing eye roll. It was really weird. It was a capital I connected with the do.

I do. I do. The issue comes to when I finally stop procrastinating enough to get it done. I find more than three quarters of my children's clothes are inside out. I then say, in true dad fashion, man, oh man, I got to go down and fix that dryer again. it's still turning those damn clothes inside out again oh be damn oh geez am i wrong for being mad about the excess workload placed upon the little free time i get at night time okay should we divide this

up and conquer this one really conquer i hate inside out fucking clothes in the laundry it happens but when it is a consistent batch where like clearly you know whose clothes they are and for whatever reason they just decided pulling it inside out was what we're going to do now it drives me fucking crazy but i don't does that actually sucks it adds you have to because then you have to stop your little routine no i here's what i what i'm going to say is i get that but it seems to me that a lot of it can be pulled inside out in the washer no magic no magic washer i'm not the water doesn't have hands i'm not throwing all my clothes in fucking inside out and then when i go to fold them summer inside out it's not like i'm like i'm guessing like i'm guessing the

socks and shit and well socks that'd be a tough sell because i mean folding a sock and it takes quite a bit of pressure but especially pants like there's no way the water is just delicately perfectly pushing the pants all the way through because then it could also push it the other way and that never happens if you put clothes in inside out they never come out right side out he's not wrong it never happens that way so why why is it happening the other way you know what i mean I don't know So anyway I have a solution for this

And I I don't do it myself I guess if I got if I grew a pair I'd do it But Cassie's sister I just folds all of her clothes That are inside out She folds them inside out

What position does she play What position did you play So if they put the pants in And they come out And they're inside out She folds them inside out And then puts them in their stuff And then with their sweatshirts and stuff

She'll just hang them up inside out. A little, and then she said it stopped it because they're like, God damn it. So if they want their shit inside out, then she just folds it that way and puts it in their room. That's smart. Yeah. I mean, I, I, I, I, I, passive, aggressive.

I guess I get that it's frustrating, but I'm so, like, I, I'd do the, I'd fold the laundry sometimes and everything's inside out, but I don't think of it as like anything other than they just got inside out in the washer or whatever, or in the, the dryer and that's why I don't know it's when they're pulling their legs out and then they just have one leg out and they just throw it in or they peel off the leggings and they're inside out self self-awareness to take your clothes off and then and put it in regular side out I guess don't take them off inside out ever I don't think I ever I just don't think people think of it like that like you just rip like kids are ripping their shirt off and they're throwing the laundry

at least they're putting it in the laundry kids are a big problem with it too that's the number one thing is kids inside out shit inside out clothes but it just adds an extra five minutes to your laundry shit that didn't have to be there if you just took your clothes off and made them the right way before you threw them in so there's that yeah i mean i guess i get it it's it's it's but it's not it's yeah i guess it's not a thing that frustrates me yeah i guess depends on my mood sometimes i don't care but sometimes i'm like god damn it like everything is inside out especially socks like i don't take my socks off inside out i pull them down and then pull them from the top so that when they go in the wash, the person that ends up folding the clothes,

I don't have to pull my fucking socks inside out or right side out. It's just the pain in the ass. Okay. So there you go. I feel like we tackled that. No, I don't think you're an asshole. Just start folding clothes inside out and see if that stops. See if it helps.

Yeah. All right. So let's move on to the next chunk here. Okay. Next is the sink. Let me do this. Okay. Next is the sink.

We share 50, 50% of the custody of doing the dirty dishes and we don't have a dishwasher. Yes, you do. It's called your wife. Oh! Oh! My particular issue is when the dishes are preemptively

set in the sink, the motherfucking cups are placed up so I'm fucking out! This causes whatever liquid is in the cups to drain down and sit in a puddle under the cup leading to streaks, rings, and general grime

to be left in the sink in which I tend to say cups have bottoms! In this matter, what is the official ruling? So I'm trying to, I'm trying to visualize this. We don't. Oh, man. Are they, is he saying they should be placed upside down or that they are in his house? They have bottoms.

They need to be right side up. Because if you put them upside down, then whatever's in the cup, drips down to the bottom of it. And then leaves a ring in the sink that you didn't have to scrub. The issue is the sink, it's stuff being in the sink, not in the cups. Right. Right. And I get it. I get it.

And I'm a strong believer that all cups fucking wash them out before you put them in the sink, too. That's what I was going to say is just do a, like if you drink coffee and you go over and you're done with your cup. Don't just put it in. Turn on the sink, spray it out and then. I mean, the most responsible thing would be to wash your fucking cup when you're over there because it takes, you know, five seconds. I use a cup all day long, though. Me too. I'll use one for a month.

Yeah. If no one takes my cup away. I will use the same cup for a month. Yeah. And it's like, I'm not crazy. I don't think it's dirty. I haven't died yet. I haven't gotten sick.

So I don't need a new cup. I will use my same water cup for eternity if you let me. Yep. And I will wash it out sometimes. I'll even use it for orange juice. Yeah. I use my, sometimes I'll have coffee.

And then I'll wash it out and then I'll use it for water again for another six years. I can even smell the coffee that was in there before. And I'll put water in it. And I just put water in like it and like I can smell it. I get it. It's like, is it worth getting another cup out of the dirty? No, that's not. And that's, and we have a dishwasher, and that's how I am.

If I had no dishwasher, it would be even longer probably. Especially now with our kitchen being out of operation. You don't have a kitchen right now. No. We have a, yeah, just a meth kitchen. It's sitting over there and we have all our ship plugged in. And like the big appliances are going to outlets across the house so we don't blow the breaker. I already figured that out.

Can't use the hairdry or the microwave or else half the power loses, or half the house loses power. You got a nice little roller rink going on. We do have a nice roller rink. It feels like we just moved in again. Yeah. Why are we doing this? I don't know.

Just fucking punishing ourselves. But we purposely waited until the kids were back in school and it wasn't summer. So we could have a... Right. Anyway, back to you. I think the figuring this out is just even if they're not, just rinse it out. Rinse it out, that doesn't matter if the cup goes upside down or bottom. All right.

On to the next one? Because my wife sometimes, like, she'll have her coffee cup in the morning. and then she leaves for the house and she'll take like a one last drink and like and then set it or she'll take it with her in the car and it sits in the car and so there it's like hard dried coffee sitting in the bottom yep uh so what i usually do is instead of scratch i just spray some water in let it sit and then and you let it soak and then you come back a little bit and then you rinse it and it all washes out um so you know i hear you okay the last one is kind of me but I present it I'm gonna present it anyway there are four grown adults and two children under 10

in this house someone is taking food from the kitchen with their grimy meat hooks and ripping stuff in half like bread bagels and fruit and putting half back this includes a fucking hot dog buns what? Like what are you cutting the hot dog

the long way and putting it on the half button like something out of a cracked out Willy Wonka factory for shitty culinary and eating skills. Anyway, it's been fun chit-chatting here in the Betty Beef courtroom. I love you. All right. I just pictured like saying that

in an actual courtroom. Anyway, it's been fun sitting here and chit-chat with you for a bit. I love you. Your Honor. Your Honor. You love you, Your Honor. Yeah. All right. I arrest my case. May I call you, Your Honor? All right. I love you, Your Honor. That one, I don't know.

The Hot Dog Buns is, Weird. Ripping bread in half is weird. Like, you either want toast or you don't. You know what I mean? That would be fucking weird about it. I mean, who eats? Half a bagel, that's easy.

But if you're ripping it, yeah, that way. Someone just wants a little snack and they're just taking off little bites in ruining the number game. Yeah, you, as soon as you... Either take a full half or you take a whole one. You're either, because you're throwing off the... Yeah, like you're saying, you're throwing off the matchmaking. The pear. Mm-hmm.

You're going to get to the bottom and have fucking one piece of bread for your sandwich. You know, the worst thing is, too, is when you get, like, the two in pieces. Heels? The heels. Yeah, it's like, and that sandwich sucks. You know it's coming eventually, but it sucks. Ooh, this one's a little tough. Do you ever just, yeah, I mean, you obviously, like, get, undo the bread, reach through and grab it in the middle where it's, like, softest and well, that.

And then so you, yeah, you start shrinking, and you're like, fuck, you get that. Like, one heel. heel and like one brittle piece of shit now here's a question is there a reason why they're putting those in the bag the heel get them out of here fuck off well i mean not just the heel the first couple of pieces right out of the heel are kind of just shit kind of me just take the middle i mean you're wasting a lot of bread at that point yeah but you could just put it in a cheaper off brand of bread can you grind up all the heels and make me a soft a soft piece of toast or Just use that for, like, fucking muffins or something.

Feeding geese, you know? Yeah, they shouldn't be eating bread, though. They just don't even put them in there. It's kind of like the jokers. They're kind of like the jokers in a deck of cards, right? Yeah. Like, you take that and you just fucking toss the jokers. Yeah.

Just toss the heels. We got to keep them around. There's some fun games that have jokers in them. Yeah, fuck it. But the rules, it's like, yeah, I know how cards work. Yeah, nobody actually throws them. Yeah, I fucking get it. And nobody throws the jokers away.

You just have to set them aside every time. Yeah, I know. What a pain. We might as well just chuck them because you're not going to use them. Everything fucking sucks. Well, thanks for the loaded petty beef. Hopefully we helped you out. I'm not sure we did.

Yeah, we did. He's a normal dude. Fold the clothes inside out. That'll help people stop putting them inside out when they go in. Yeah, you're right. The cops just tell everyone to wash them out. Then they can put them upside down or right side up. They're not going to.

Doesn't matter. They won't leave stains anymore. And then the last one, kill your family. That's it. That solves everything. I know what you could get. I found this awesome webcam that you could mount on the outside. It's only 5799.

It's 4K, 30 frames per second. Two noise cancelling microphones on it so you can crystal clear hear it. Yeah. And you can just broadcast who's fucking up the hot dog buns. So there we go. Now we really did help out. And then you, when you put them on, when you execute them. There's, I have a, yeah, you use the same camera.

Or buy two because they're so cheap. You could outfit the entire country. with these cameras. Now you don't have to pay for these chitrin, so you've got plenty of money to spend. Yep, exactly. You're right, we did help. We did help.

See, we did something. That's exciting. What position did you play? Oh, I went for this one. What position did you play? All right, moving off. We got some good news. Zach, please.

So you're telling me there's a chance. Hooray, we aren't doomed. Yeah! This is a fun Yeah! Fun story. We're heading over to Iowa. Weren't we just in Iowa last week?

Iowa. Yeah, construction workers are being hailed as heroes. They were driving by a house when they noticed it was on fire. Fire. Without thinking, they entered, helped save a family, and even used a trampoline to get a teenage boy out of the top floor window. Fuck, yes. They just took a little break and we started jumping on the trampoline.

They saved the family and then stole their trampoline. I haven't met one of these I'm saying that I was a little guy What would you do in their situation? You're the family Your house is on fire These people Save your life

And get you out of the house And then just start taking your shit Yeah Imagine calling the cops Hey these guys I know they saved their lives But they're still their shit now Fighters keepers

As they steal a lamp And they're just drunk Construction workers You hold that against them The whole time Is that hey dude I saved your life You're really gonna call the cops on me

Like you're carrying their daughter out like you're you got third degree burns but you also have her jewelry box like which one do you want underneath your arm while you're like I can either keep the kid or the jewelry I'll put the kid back in if you don't give the jewelry box just like what you're like what you have three seconds to decide you got three seconds to choose and I'm fucking throwing her back in the house

yeah you can have it thank you that sounds a good deal punch you don't business with you plus my friend's gonna take your trampoline which which one you say hey I'm helping I helped last time John Lewis is a general manager for

like construction he was the first person in the door Katrina so what happened what did you see when they were driving they say their names like I'm supposed to know who the fuck Katrina is I'm guessing she works for KMTV but she's not mentioned

anywhere else in the article just straight to dialogue like we're supposed to know who this is John said I stopped there at the stop sign I look to my right from traffic and I seen smoke coming out of the front porch window. I've seen it. Lewis, along with colleagues, Gabe, record, and Damien Pond.

That reminds me, got our first pond coming up in the Patreon. Nice. Rushed inside and helped the mother, grandmother, and four-year-old girl escape. They then experienced something that seemed like an explosion. But when it exploded, it blew flames out towards the back of Gabe and burned him on his back and his arm. It got Damien on the side of the face, said Lewis. Where to get you, Lewis?

Didn't even fucking touch me. I don't know. Thanks, Damien. I don't know. Didn't even fucking touch me. Is anyone need a Rolex? He just opens up his trench coat. Anyone needs any kids underwear?

But when did it? Yeah, so next door, mechanic John Fulf. Van Vord? Fandavord. Came out to help and saw the boy in the second story window. Once I saw him, I knew what was happening and he was in trouble. Big trouble. The men couldn't reach the boy upstairs.

I looked over and seen a trampoline Should ask for help for the man upstairs So I grabbed the trampoline Pulled it out of the ground And started dragging it over to the window Said Lewis The young man couldn't see through the smoke And the flame spreading

Lewis and the other shouted for him To just jump He hit the trampoline And I caught him And got him over to the stop sign Like this is That's a circus act He's like I can't

Just jump I say it Like you're just You're trusting voices you've never heard and you just leap out and then you bounce and then all of a sudden a stranger's catching you

that's some Barnum and Bailey shit right there. You guys ever jumped off? Well we all have because we know this sucks. When you jump off a trampoline from too high and your leg can't absorb the impacts you basically... It's either your knees going through your face or you just go and just shoot off

sideways whatever leg happens to hold up better, projects you left or right or forward. So that happened to this guy, and he shot off and they caught him and carried him to safety. I hope that this construction company gets so much business. Yeah. Because this is fucking awesome. What's their name? Yeah.

Like, L-E-I-C-K over in Iowa. I'm going with like. I don't know if it's Leak. L-I-C-K? L-E-I. Oh, I thought it's... That sounds like Leak-E. I'm not sure if it's like. It's L-I-K-E. Yeah. I thought he said L-I-C-K at first.

Oh, no. Just lick construction? L-E-I-C-K-L-K-L-L-K-L-L-L-K-L-L-L-L-K- Like. Like, lick it up. It goes on to say, I mean, they're heroes. This could have been a totally different outcome if they wouldn't have stepped up and done what they did. That's true. The family's healthy, but now without a home. Well, construction workers.

Construction workers could build a good one. Yep. One family member, Ben, he's like, he's like, listen, my services stopped at saving your whole family. I'm not building you a fucking house. Is that what you do for a living? Yeah, but I can't go back in the house. I've stole everything out of it. I can't be seen on this block

and they just updated the traffic cameras they for sure fucking saw me take all your shit I can't come back here all right moving off to something

we found on the internet Zachy Pooh the internet is pretty wild depending on your browsing habits you can either experience something super cool or go to prison crazy right

let's check it out together as a couple hey look what I found Yes. That's awesome. Do you want to take this one? Brian, don't click your tongue. It's loud!

Oh, don't do it. Sorry. Hurts. Okay, back to you. That's better. Wait, I was off camera. What fuck is this thing? So a drunk drawer starter kit.

Oh, Etsy, I love you. When I first said that, seen it? I heard drunk drawer. Drunk drawer. Because I said drunk drawer. Junk drawer, that's a weird thing to say. It is. But it's like, I visualize the drunk guy coming downstairs.

It's like everything a drunk guy needs in a drawer. What's in your... Where's the old wide opener? Everyone's got a drunk drawer. And it's never... You take the time to organize it once every year, once a year. Decad. You're like, I'm going to straighten this up.

And then within days... I swear. by this time next year there won't be seven pairs of scissors in here and then then just eight and something there's pins and pencils and rubber band ball rubber band balls like screws six different sizes of paper clips none of the pens work yeah none of the pens work broken pencil of course there is a tape measure flashlight that the batteries are dead there's always something in there that doesn't make it so the drawer opens well it's like a wrench or something yeah what the fuck yeah batteries that like you remember putting them in there because they're kind of dead but not that dead so they went to the junk drawer yeah so what do you honestly like we'll get back to this what do you do so the other day we have a little wizard we live with 20 wizards right with one 20 goose side wizards that would be terrifying oh my god we all have your own wands now you be doing what they say um tiny spell what's the the little for like a frother like a little you push a button it's like yeah it makes your frother yeah so it's it's no it's silver i think we

have the same one, but ours is red. I'm not trying to brag or anything. Yeah, I mean, mine's silver. That wasn't like two bucks. I have no idea. My wife's got it. It's fucking amazing. But so we, for the longest time, I was like, I was making coffee and putting protein

shake in it, and I was doing it, and it was just like not mixing up very well. And I finally, I just put new batteries in it. It was like, holy shit. You're like, change the batteries and push it and fly through the ceiling? I thought it was going to fly out of my hand because it was so fast. But, and I think about this kind of stuff. stuff from time to time, but at the time, I was like, I swapped out the batteries, and I'm like, well, these batteries aren't dead, but what do you do with, like, trash can?

Yeah, but then I did that, but you're like, then you're wasting juice. And which, I know you can get a tester, because, like, which battery had more, like, what if this one's almost full, and this one's not, but the average, something. So are we just thrown away? Power? Perfectly good batteries? Yeah. I think there's plenty of perfectly good batteries that are in the landfill right now.

Or in the ocean. Probably not where they should be. Inside a fucking turtle. Yeah. Yeah. Where they shouldn't be. Is this turtle fucking battery operated? I'm kind of.

It's not supposed to be, but yeah, it is. When you just said that and that the frothar going off, I just have to share this thought and then we can move back to the juncture or starter kit. But picturing 20, man, or goose-sized people living in your house flying around with frothers. Oh, yeah. Little propellers? It's like, that's how they get around. Like Mary Poppins with her fucking umbrella, but it's a little frother.

And they're just like, like going down the hallway. And you just hear that sound. Hello. They pass each other. Look out. Look out. Hey, swankey. Do you think you could get in like an old fishing boat and put that frother in there and get and move?

Do you think it would go at all? It might move a little bit. You might get a centimeter out of there. I'm trying to get it going. Why were you fishing all day? Where'd you go? I barely made it to the end of the dock. I frothed my way to the end of the dock.

I'd change the batteries 400 times. I did nothing but scare the fish. Didn't catch a damn thing. Didn't catch a damn thing. All right. Okay. So, drunk, junk, I keep saying drunk drawer. That's okay.

Junk drawer starter kit. Beautiful. Contents. Cizzers, scotch tape, check. Flashlight, check. 12 and run screwdriver. Check. Pin, check.

Matches. Yeah, we got some matches Yeah Triple A double and triple A batteries and rubber bands Yeah And you can I think you can customize it This one look at We got some rubber bands in there

This one has crazy glue There's some band-aids In a Tate measure Tate measure in there Well, it's called a tape measure So obviously Cassie used a term the other day

Talking to the kitchen contractor guy She goes Hey whatever When you get over here today We'll pull some tape And I was like That's fucking cool She sounded like she knew she was talking about

She 100% knows this is what she does for a living So this guy is showing up thinking he knows what he's doing And then Cassie's like the 700 levels above where she is For what she does But we're not going to remodel our own kitchen So he's like talking and she goes yeah yeah got it Yeah yeah got it Like she drew all the plans

Like normally he would have to draw all the plans And like they've already been drawn She drew exactly what he's like oh okay He's like yeah this is it He goes well what about him he goes well no But you're not He's like well you're not factoring in He's like, oh, yeah.

That's got to suck for a guy like that. Here, hold my bra, nerd. Right. Like, he's, he's the, the authoritarian in most cases. He goes in there like, all right, he walks in there with his plans. Let's see, let's get this fucking kitchen done. Yeah, and everyone's just doing whatever. Okay, yeah, whatever you think you're the professional.

You know best. Whatever you, he's like, that's right, I do know that. That's what you hired me, bitch. And then to have someone be like, all right, what we need to do, she's like, yeah, yeah, we need to do this. I was just going to say that. I was going to say that. I just stand back, like, this whole process.

How emasculating is that? I don't know. They figured it out. It's just funny to watch them talk, and like, they cut each other off. Yeah, we'll pull some tape. Yeah, she goes, get over here, blah, blah, when you get over here, we'll pull some tape. And I was like, fuck, are you listening to pull some tape. She goes, yeah, it just means you got to measure some stuff.

And I was like, you could have said that, but instead you said the coolest thing I've ever heard. Oh, see, I didn't fucking pulling tape. I thought that they were going to say when you taped off the area. And then we're just removing the tape. Oh, no. I thought that's what that meant. So when you get over, we'll pull tape. Oh.

Which means you're going to be measuring shit. I was like, dude, you can pig me tonight. That's like a cool black guy saying, like what that has like phrases. You're like, this guy's just, wait. He's just so much cooler. But he just sounds so much cooler. Like, I don't even know what he's saying, but he sounds so much cooler than what I am. And it's like, yeah, dude, I'm in.

Whatever you think is best, dude. Yeah, you pull my tape. If you pull my tape, I'll tie your shoes. That's right, brother. Woo-hoo. You'll be pulling tape. I'll be fucking... But this thing, it's only...

It's only 27 bucks, and obviously it's marketed as, like, what, like, a real estate company could do, because you can put your logo on the tape measure. Sure. So when you sell the house, you give them this funny little junk drawer starter kit. But also, venture outside of that, it's a great gift for your friend is, like, a housewarming party. Sure. Or a house gift.

Like, that's so funny. And just, you know, give them, like, flowers or a bottle of wine. Give them a junk drawer or starter kit. Hell yeah. And just get the shit show rolling right out of the game. Yeah, get the mess. I mean, at least it, I guess if you have it in a little case, you could, it's somewhat organized, but that's going to last two seconds. To have a day.

Anyway, just a good gift. If you go to Etsy and type in junk drawer starter kit, you can pull that baby up. Let's hear from the kids. Zach, I'm just going to ask you nicely one fucking time. Fuck that! Oh, you guys! All right, let's hear what you guys think. Really?

You want to talk to me? Wow, that's cool. All right, there's going to be some time codes coming up, but we just had to make sure we gave Chris Esen, a former golden goose, dropped out, opened up a spot, that shit filled up quickly. But he went back, he took your call to action

and fucking did it. He's doing the Lord's work. Aloha! Fuck! I'm just reading it as it is. That was not my Tourette's. I know I scream a lot. Probably too much That was needed

It was in the script Hey stepdaddies I'm closing in on finishing All the bonus episodes After being a golden goose And now being a super duper silly goose Here's my quiff I have listened

It's just I click It's a sound Like a sound effect I play It's like He's just like I have listened to the whole Catalog twice Through before becoming a Patreon

He's like I don't I'm not sold on this yet He had to spend 700 hours of listening before he was like, I'll get him five bucks. I gotta go third time. Yeah. So this is third time going through. I'm at 143 or 144 or something. When you

mentioned in the bonus, someone make a list of when we say, that's what my dad said. Fuck! Now I have to go back again! Oh no! A fourth time? Brian infomercial. Oh, no. I fucking lost one of my notes I was writing them down on. So fuck me again, right?

You'll see I'm missing two in between the ones I give you. Anyway, here's a list of the episodes I have so far in the timestamp of where they go. If anyone else is doing this, just let me know so maybe we can work together. If not, I got you guys. I'm going to go ahead and star wipe out of here

and get back to taking notes. Bing, bong, and then it's a giant dick that he made out of characters. 8 equals equals equals it goes D and then sperm. What's that thing called? That's squiggly. That's what I call it. It's a squiggly squeakily.

I'm going to read these off just for the... What? No, umlots are the dots, aren't they? Over the O. I think the umlau's the little squeakly line. Oh, boy. I don't know. We'll find out. Whatever. You're fucking crazy. So I was going to read these for the sake of other people being able to go back and listen. So it's documented in the show. I'm not expecting you guys to just remember this shit right now at the top of your head. So here we go. Flaming Ship, Viagra Sneezed Truck Nuts.

Tildy. Sorry. Oh, gotcha. Oh, let me read this first. So he put this in. P.S. These timestamps only work with the pageants only work with the page. Patreon episodes. I rechecked them and they're off just a little bit, but they are fairly close. Spotify does not line up with this list. I hear that. I've noticed that too. Like you can't really timestamp shit because the ad input process is different too. So if like an ad plays, it's going to give you a different time. Sure. Anything. You know, just changes stuff. Hopefully this helps. Anyway, back to what I was doing.

Flaming ship, Viagra sneeze, truck nuts. 5152 and one hour, 29 minutes, eight seconds. Fitted sheet, powerful, wide, Morley Gray, is at an hour 46 in five seconds. Meth, slug shoes, bad girlfriend, fabric sheets, 1424, and an hour in 17 and 55 seconds in. Wharf! Farm noises, dry toes, violence, shipwreck. Apparently, you got a hayday on this episode. 727, 525, and an hour and five minutes and 52 seconds.

Woodpecker fertilized Murphy anti-venom, an hour and 26 seconds. holding cell Harrison finger oh crazy 534 813 and 21 50 I think that's one of my favorite episodes that one the holding cell one uh which one was that where they left the guy usually I'm the one that forgets everything they left the guy in the courtroom in the holding cell and the guy walking in with the oh shit yeah is a call him an Uber that was yeah that's all I have for now pretty sure I didn't miss any hope you guys have a rad weekend yeah thank you so much so I was just going to say I wanted to be I wanted to be a smart ass because I appreciate what he did yeah but why couldn't you just tell us what the phrase was because that would have been helpful so now we have to go back and find it Chris well now it's all right there

bitch god damn it I'm kidding we appreciate it yeah thank you that's awesome uh you want to read the second email no okay our second email coming in from our son chase Who writes, Hey, fuckers. Once again, here I am, and maybe this should fall under confessions, but this is where I'm sending it. So deal with it.

Yeah, you can do it do with it. The last bit of survey astronaut Excel disabilities. A lot of peatalk. I mean a lot. Even from the daddies. This brought up perhaps one of the most embarrassing, yet memorable nights of my life. Ah, yeah.

Anyways, to set the scene, this I had been hooking. There's no this. I don't know where the fuck you just put that word in. What the fuck? Anyway, to set the scene. There's no this. This. What? It's right on my screen. Do we have something different? Well, mine just says, anyway, to set the scene,

I have been hooking up with this girl a few times. No, on mine it says... Did you type this on accident when you're looking something up? Anyways, to set the scene, this I had been hooking up. Or not even hooking up. It says, anyways, to set the scene, this I had been hooking of with this girl a few times. Okay. Well, we get the idea. He's sucking up with a chick.

I just want you to know that I'm not fucking up. You didn't just put this in there? I didn't just add words. I've done that in the past. I believe you. There are two different scripts on this screen. Oh, weird. Go fuck yourself. I believe them. We lost the music. I'm winking. I happened to catch her on Shark Week this time.

Hey. Have fun! Things started to get all hot and heavy like a goose and a sauna or whatever my dad used to say. Nice. And she told me. It's as hot as goose in his son on here. There's a man-sized goose and a man-sized son.

Yeah. She told me to just lay back. We can tie in his shoes. This is where I should add that she had been bragging about her head game. And this being the first time she was going to gargle the goose, I was excite. I was excited. She begins. And let me tell you, it was like nothing I had ever experienced before the shit tickled.

Oh, it's not Oh boy Me being a gentleman Tried to hide it And not laugh for about five minutes When all of a sudden it was too much All the tickling and trying to control It made me piss like no other

What Think missing the morning wood But while getting sausage aggressively stroked Missing with morning wood Not missing the morning wood Which is even funnier Yeah I miss my morning

Where is it Just wait till tomorrow We'll get another one I guess Guess I'll wait for tomorrow. See you, see tomorrow, morning wood. The piss hit her ceiling, the wall, the headboard, the bed, me, and finally all over the, um, all, fuck! Finally her over the matter of what? And finally her, over the matter of what it felt like forever.

Oh, okay. Puguation! God damn it! But it was probably like 20 seconds. Okay. She says, oh my God! A few seconds of silence. I've never been, I've never seen someone come that much.

Was it, was it a scary movie? Yeah. What? It was scary movie where, with, uh, where he's up to the ceiling. Yeah. Yeah. I never, uh, I never had the heart to tell her it was pissed until a few year later, a few year later at a friend's wedding, uh, we were drunk in doing some heavy flirting. And she asked why I never let her slob on the knob ever again.

again. Anyways, that's all Daddy's see you later. See you next Thanksgiving. Yeah. That's all the Daddy's

whoops. All right. Oh, yeah. You got a stretch? All right. Just five more. I was going to say.

We can get to the honkathon. Go get Brian's eyes checked. Anyways, that's all daddies. Keep up the good work. The stories are hitting home. I guess that means my life has been more.

fucked up than I thought but hey why are these so relatable I don't know look inside you gotta look inside hey I was raising a bar by an ex carney so I guess it could have been worse nice hey oh thanks my

oh gosh I've never seen so much come just to not know the difference between what come and piss look like yeah smell like and the difference of quantity I mean I guess that's but we're that way with squirting so we don't know I know I know I know we know now I know what I know it is

But I mean at least she didn't make it weird Yeah Maybe she was lying She goes I've never seen so much come That's crazy Has so much come Yeah Wow

Come fest Just kept going Holy cumfest Anyway Anyway I'll see you My friend's wedding Um

Okay well that's it That's show 171 171 address. Hey guys at can't you know podcast.com. I mean you get it. D-mail. Honkathon is that good. Because a dick. Honkathon is on. Go sign up. Support us on Patreon. You get the

bonus content. Reminder that the first The Pond gathering of the gaggle is happening September 23rd, which is possibly tomorrow. At the time you're listening to this at 7 p.m. right there on our Patreon page. Go check out what Uncle Zach is doing. Yeah.

You got cards and shit. Or last night. Yeah. That's true. It depends on when you're listening. Yeah. We have no idea. But you got to be in Patreon to hear it early, so. Yeah. That's a nice plug.

In order to even get to the fucking, the pond. You're doing a bunch of cards. I sent you a ton of pictures. Yeah, we're going to have a whole huge set of cards for Can You Don't exclusively this year. And we'll be doing a crossover with Scatcast. Yay. So get ready for that. Check out what he's doing over at scatcast.com.

Scott with the K. Thanks to the babysitters and the new ones and the old ones that have been sticking around for years. Go join the Can You Don't Playground on Facebook. I've got a joke. Zach, go. Good God. Wrap it up already, huh? You know, they say two out of three people live next door to a pedophile.

Not me, though. I live next to two smoking hot 10-year-olds. Nice. God, the luckiest guy in the world. The lucky I live next to a creep like that. Yeah. Anyway. All right, you ready to get out of here?

Yeah. Okay. Let's get to the bonus. stuff. Okay. All right. Bye, Bye.