Can You Don't? - Can You Don't? | Lazy Susan. Medication. Bladder. Kit Kat.

Episode Date: July 16, 2025

Is it just a 90's kid thing or is something wrong with us? But every time we imagine something spinning we can't help but think about the Goddamn Gravitron! Let's talk about that, an awkward time to be informed that big Kit Kats are back in stock, why do pharmacies always seem like such a pain in the ass, a flight getting grounded over a stupid text message, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://www.patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast ***New Episodes every Wednesday at 12pm PSTWatch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/tZOs9Y0lON8Send in segment content: [e-mail]: http://canyoudontpodcast.comMerch Inquires: [e-mail]: http://facebook.com/canyoudontpodcastIG: http://instagram.com/canyoudontpodcastYouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wyt5rtOfficial Website: http://canyoudontpodcast.comCustom Music Beds by Zach CohenFan Mail:Can You Don't?PO Box 1062Coeur d'Alene, ID 83816Hugs and Tugs.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Love thrillers with a paranormal twist? The entire Oracle trilogy is available on Audible. Listen now on Audible. Lazy Susan. Medication. Bladder. Kit Kat. location bladder KitKat Ah! Get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the AC on because there's multiple doors between the furnace situation and us So we can leave it on to have the room be chilled out and I knew that because of the it was just gonna be on Today, so it just blasts right at me. So if you're gonna put a little sweatshirt on today's a little cooler today, too Yeah, what, 88? Well, I don't know what it is now, but when I was out this morning, it was kind of nippy. Yeah, it was windy.

Well, that's a whole nother story, but I'm not gonna spill the beans on a little saga involving myself, the children, and Zach and Monique. And the wind. Are we doing that today? No, we're not doing that today. I'm not going to spill the beans on it. The Honkathon! Oh my god!

Everybody that has signed up! Thank you guys, we're getting damn close. What are we at? Like 4? No, not 4, sorry. 370? You're trying to get us something quicker. I'm just trying to get you into a hot herbal as fast as I can. But everyone that signed up, thank you so much. Please consider it. Especially if you're sitting over there on our patreon and you're part of the free one

We don't have anything in patreon. That's for free The whole idea is that you subscribe then you get the bonus shit Please make the jump over there a couple hundred people to sit in there in the free pile Yeah, this is like two three. Yeah, maybe even more of that. Just being like I just won't be happy to be here Why are you so happy? There's nothing there for you. Nothing's going on. I just like the little previews. I always like to look at it. I like the blurry image. And I push play and nothing happens. I fucking love it. But a reminder for the honkathon,

when we hit 400, silly geese, Brian and I are going to get a tattoo, 425, especially after last week's episode. Important that Brian's going to go get his eyes checked. That was rough. God damn. That was rough. I mean- That may have been the worst one ever, dude.

Maybe, but also from my perspective, maybe one of my favorite parts- You went nuts. Of the- I mean, I had to. I had to really let you have it. There's a chance for comedy. I think now I'm more nervous. I don't want to tear you down. There's a chance for comedy. Now I think now I'm more nervous. I don't want to tear you down. I think I'm more nervous than ever. But you know, in the back of your mind, I mean, I don't fucking care.

Yeah, I mean, I really don't care. Well, we know you don't. We have to listen to you read. So we know that you really don't care. Anyway, so 425, Brian gets his high check. 450, we're going to go on a hot air balloon ride. Brian's been looking up PO go on a hot air balloon ride. Brian's been looking up POV rides of hot air balloons. I'm trying to force it on myself. So hopefully that like curbs the anxiety a little bit.

Okay. It didn't help. It just makes things worse. Yeah. 475, Zach will get his own camera so we can see him when he's talking about shit. And then again again at 500 Everyone that is part of the gaggle will get the extra patreon episode every single month more of can you don't I just got

A carve out that time Put some other shit on hold in order to do that We need money to put that aside because we'd much rather be doing this than the other shit that we're doing more can less Don't maybe yeah more can less don't mm maybe? Yeah, more can, less don't. Mm-hmm. Fuck yeah, dude. That is sick. That might be the smartest thing I ever said.

Hawkeye-thon, more can, less don't. That's right, bro. You want to hear something on the show? You find something weird on the internet or it happens to you in real life, send that in to heyguys at canyoonopodcast.com. We do have new merch. Right now, at the time that we're recording this, that's that new Mega Death spoof concert tee, or there's just a hot air balloon on fire and he says, it's me again, across the bottom. You can check that out at canyondopodcast.com.

And we have the spin the wheel contest going on. So between now and my birthday, which is August 12th, the big 40th. Yep. I mean, it's four zero. People say that's a big deal. I felt 40 for years now. You know? Yeah.

You know what I mean? It's what has man. I've been there done that two years ago. Do you need a hug, dude? Uh, what do you mean? Feeling 40 for many years. I feel like you might need a hug or something. Oh yeah.

You can hug me. Okay. Yeah. I, I said no. If like, are you like, are you into a 40 year olds or something. Oh, yeah, you could hug me. Okay. Yeah Like are you like you into the 40 year olds or something? Yeah a little bit if I'm if we're not in the same like decade Age-wise you're like not kidding. I'm not getting it up for the exact all this magazine is just mature and manly. He just wait mature Joe's Life crisis with that crisis named Joe. I like that fluffy silver hair on the nipples. Midlife crisis, midlife crisis named Joe. I like that fluffy silver hair on the nip. Yeah.

Who does Ariel, just a fucking mop perm or like a fro. Like a tiny volcano hiding in a forest. That's what I like. Waiting to be unleashed. Waiting to be licked. Reign here's been active lately. So there's that. Didn't know about that. Anyway, so anyone who buys merch off

canyondompodcast.com, you're gonna be automatically entered into the grand prize drawing to win 150 bucks. So all you have to do is go to the website. If you buy a sweatshirt, a t-shirt, or a miscellaneous thing, that's like cups, doormats, or other weird shit that we have on there, you pick that up, we will take this little wheel. If you're watching the YouTube version and we spin it, that was a little good spin. Pete Slauson Oh, nice spin, dude. Jared Slauson I just got scared of wiping off the marker. And it'll land on either a sweatshirt, t-shirt, or miscellaneous. And then if it lands on that and you bought one of those items, we put it into the randomizer and then we'll

draw your name. Pete Slauson Would it land on sweatshirt? Jared Slauson That sweatshirt that time. Pete Slauson Yeah, SS, Minnow. Jared Slauson So, if you want a chance to win no matter what it is, just pick up one of each item right now at canyondopodcast.com. We do have a quick email from our son Kyle before we get the show rolling. Hi.

You know, just got to keep this going. This is a wild shit tale. I feel bad for this guy. I don't even know him, but it's worth it. All right. So, Kyle writes, okay, let's go all the way back, back in the day. Joe, what would that be timeline measurement equivalent to in football fields?

How, I don't know how far back back in the day is. That's like at least a couple thousand football fields. Maybe more. Just depends on how fast you're running. Back to the very first episode and Brian shitting himself, the stinky penguin. God damn. Classic.

Anyway, this was sometime back in the mid to late 90s. This music bed's perfect. Fuck it. For the mid to late 90s. Yeah. This music, this is like a teen comedy. It's like, it's, yeah. It sure is.

So this happened to my friend Mike. It was when Mike was a senior in high school, so one day at school, Yep, that's me. You're probably wondering how I got here. Mike was feeling ill in his stomach. He had a severe case of the bubble guts. His stomach was fucked. So after the first couple of classes, he decided to sign himself out of school sick and drive home. On his drive home, his stomach went a-bubbling, and his ass let loose a brown flood. He makes it home with his pants full of shit, and sitting in his car, he's trying to figure out how to get himself from his car and then to his front door and then into the house without the shit

running down his legs and out of his pants. So Mike gets out of his car, bending over, holding the bottom of his pants closed, tight on the ankles, and he walks like that into the house. Ah! So he's fully bent over squeezing the bottom of his pants? Squeezing like fucking- Jankos? Yeah, you know like in the military, you always see him tying up their pants

to make a flotation device? He's doing that with diarrhea to get into his house. And instead of air, it's shit. Like what a fucking- Ugh! And he's like, excuse me? Mike's pretty flexible though. Pete Slauson Imagine knocking on the door, like, to let someone let you in and you're just bent over.

Pete Slauson Can I help you? And you're like, I shake your hand. But he gets himself into the house and goes straight to the bathroom, figuring on getting into the bathtub and getting washed up and cleaned up right away. Yet Mike did not know that the city, or like fucking whatever, the whole neighborhood, the water main lines were shut off for maintenance or repair or fucking whatever. So we had to sit in the bathtub naked, covered from the waist down on his own dried shit for the rest of the afternoon until around 6 PM when the water was turned back on. Pete Liesveld I think I would find my way to a lake or something. Pete Liesveld No, I would take the pants off. Pete Liesveld And just, yeah.

Pete Liesveld Just lose them. Pete Liesveld Change your pants, you can just go somewhere else. Pete Liesveld Yeah. Pete Liesveld This is why always baby wipes, always. Pete Liesveld I mean, that's so many though. Pete Liesveld But it's still worth it. Pete Liesveld Better than nothing. Pete Liesveld Yeah.

Pete Liesveld Imagine that, I mean, I'm saying I would go to a lake or something, but the chafing, just getting to the lake would be brutal. And the smell of you. Rash. Oof, too much. Well, anyway, thanks for sending that in. Mike, I hope life has really turned around for you, because that sounds like a fucking disaster.

Mike's probably a millionaire just doing fine. Invented dude wipes. Yeah,, like diarrhea pant tie-offs. Something so specific. He's still waiting for his first sale. He's like, I can't be the only one. Couldn't get any funding. Couldn't get any funding. Whole business is underwater, upside down. You don't say. Yeah. It's in the shitter. Sounds like you based the whole company of one unique experience, but Let's get the show. There's gotta be millions of

Alright, let's roll it Okay, well you want to read this one sure Son in sending by son Andrew. Yeah Would you rather have to call your significant other? Every time you're ordering food and have them order for you. Okay, a little embarrassing. Yeah, there's a grown-ass man Parentheses if they're with you you tell them your order and they relay it. If you were by yourself and you have to, you have to call them every time, every order, every order on the speakerphone. If you're by yourself, you have to call them and they order on speakerphone,

even at the drive-through. Okay. There's the one. So a lot of that a lot of embarrassing Yeah, I mean any convenience, but that one just kind of reeks of embarrassment to me my my initial Just hearing that is like every time I try to call my wife. She never answers Yeah, so then I go to the grocery store that I end up standing there like Looking at the food like which one do I get the options? so or Have your house on a giant lazy Susan that slowly spins in place. Not fast enough to cause damage or injure anyone, but noticeable enough that everyone

is aware and carrying stuff inside would be a bitch. We'll call it a rate of one to three RPM. Okay. Fuck me. Is that rotations per minute? Sure. Are you thinking? Sure is. Okay. Yeah. Got the rotations per minute. So you have to, you're standing at the steps and you're having to wait for it to come around. And it's like trying to bring groceries into a Gravitron. I mean, the Gravitron is slowing down, obviously. Right, right. I mean, nothing. I think the fact, this might be a scientific fact, is like one of the fastest things on

planet Earth is the Gravitron at full speed. Like nothing rotates faster than that. I mean, you can fact check me, but I'm pretty sure it holds the world record for all of it. That you can ride or just in general? Like, no, just in general, just like the fastest spinning thing of all time. No way. Yeah.

Even a top? It like that. I know that's where people think that if we're going to figure out time travel, we start with the Gravitron. How come it hasn't lifted off yet? Because it's bolted down probably. That's the only thing that's keeping it there. Because those things slide up.

The thing that you're on. The only thing keeping it there is the carney. There's a time travel button and no one's ever pushed it. He's just like leaning back just fucking. All he has to do is push the button. Hung over holding a hose. Ready to clean up throw up He could change the universe. He just never does it. I think we talked about this before maybe but

The life of a carny like what does that look like? Oh, we've we've both been fascinated about this whole concept just from their day-to-day life. What does that look like? Any that's it. That's another that's a story for no. Yeah, sorry, I didn't mean to bring the Gravitron into this. Yeah, yeah. It spun its way into the conversation. Dude, it knows what to do. Like, if you're gonna start talking- The gravity of the situation.

Yeah, if you start talking to me about things that spin, I'm gonna have a hard time not talking about the Gravitron. I think a record player and a fucking Gravitron is the two things that spin. I'm gonna have a hard time talking about the record player and a fucking Gravitron. Those are the two things that come to mind. Not in that order. Not for me anyway. It's Gravitron and everything else. Then your vinyl collection. How's that just slowly spins is so annoying. I mean, sunlight. Oh my how maddening that would be to just be sitting in your living room and the shadows of the sun are constantly like shifting on your walls. I'm trying to visualize. Well, I mean, rotation per minute. So you're, I mean, think about

a clock and see, watch the second hand go around. That's one. So I mean, that's a decent speed to be spinning. Cause I was thinking if it's really slow, you probably wouldn't notice it, but I think that's fast enough to notice. Yeah. It's not going to damage anything. It's just going to be a little fucking annoying. You always feel like you're slightly moving to the right, depending on which way you're going. Every step, it's like a little fun house. I think in the middle of the night to take a piss and it's just, you have just fumbling through. You'd get used to it. And then the middle of the night, you can take a piss and it's just- Yep, just fumbling through. You'd get used to it and then the rest of the world would feel like it was spinning. Yeah, you'd walk, when you could actually step out onto your sidewalk, you'd kind of like take a couple steps into the yard because you're like,

until you corrected yourself. Cause picturing, you know, like getting in a, like a fight or a disagreement and you're going to leave the house. But you have to wait. You have to wait. You open the door to walk out and you're facing the garage. You're like, no, I've had enough.

I'm out of here. And you open the door and you have to stand there and wait for it to rotate the rest of the way. You're like, you're both just standing there. Like, she's like, well, go. And you're like, I fucking would go. I'm leaving. Go then go.

I am. I am. Yeah. Well, and you look at it like, fuck you. And then dive out your front door. You turn around to yell at him. One last time he turned back and you miss it. And you're like, fuck.

Now I gotta wait a whole minute. And then you're not even gonna fight anymore. Right. Yeah. Cause sometimes, I mean, maybe, maybe this would end lazy Susan stops all divorces. It does. Or like domestic abuse. Maybe it just ends everything. Or traps the victim. Good. Yeah, but they were, they were, they keep coming back anyway.

I mean, if a slow rotating house is the problem. Yeah. That's not going to be the one that stops all these things, but, um, okay. So that is funny. like dropping things on the floor. Pete Slauson Oh, like a can of beans? Pete Slauson Yeah. Pete Slauson Just rolling away from you? Pete Slauson The second you drop it, it just goes, you start sliding to the outside of the house. Pete Slauson But not fast.

Pete Slauson No, tiny. Pete Slauson But a good enough speed to where it's going. You have to go chase it down. Pete Slauson Yeah, an object that big is going to have some centrifugal force. Okay. So, back to ordering. Everyone would just think that you had a disability, which pretty lines up. Jared Lies I mean, I've been to… Pete Slauson With my day-to-day life, so that's fine. Jared Lies I've walked into Subway before and like, I've been with my son and then I'm ordering for him. And then my wife sent, she'll text me like what she wants on like in a bowl or

something. Right. And then the guy asked the question and I'm like, I look at the thing, I'm like, she didn't specify. So then I have to call. So then I'm on the, you know, waiting around for that. Um, but every single time, even in person, like sitting down and you're like, what would you like? And you're like, how salad she's like, he'll have a house salad dressing. And you're like, cause I love ranch. Anything else like go light on the ranch though, go on the ranch and really watching my friend

Yeah, I'm on Atkins. Can we cut the bread cut the bread see if they have like a Do they have the um, they have the strawberry thing. Do you have the strawberry thing? No, no, we do that was only for 4th of July. Okay. Can you put the ranch back? Can you guys actually put the original amount of ranch you're going to put on there? And he's like, so don't go light on the ranch. I'll go heavy on it because you don't have the strawberry. We don't, we don't have the strawberry thing. So go heavy on it this time. Just make up for it. That would be annoying. Drive through through a fucking speaker phone. Oh man. Okay. I've done that a few times where like I'm in driver's seat and my wife, she's, I mean, not as much anymore, but still she has like a gluten thing. So

she'll have to order like something specific. And so she'll relay it to me. And then I, and I'm terrible. Like imagine how bad I am at reading, but when I have to like go up and order someone, I get like little anxiety and fumble of the order too. And so sometimes I'll be like, she'll be telling what she wants and I'll be like, you know what, you just say it. So then I scoot back in my seat and she's yelling the order across me into the thing. But yeah, but this is like, you guys are always together, but if you're not together, I think what the, the little twist on this one is that if she's out grabbing food that, or you're, you're out by yourself, she has to order for you through a speakerphone. So you just have to be like, okay, hold on. Oh, shit. Then you have to hold it up and she has to yell your

order. So you're telling her on the phone, I want to, I want to number one with that you fry it and then hold it out. Yeah. That's terrible. That's a big inconvenience. That's real big. And is it worse than having your house spin? I don't know.

I've never had my house spin. That's gotta be terrible. I've had the spins and I know that's not for me. That doesn't, that's not fun. And I'm not sure how many RPMs the spins are but it feels like six million It feels like have you guys heard of the Gravitron? So when you have the spins when you're drunk That's what it feels like. Yeah. Yeah

But I imagine this I mean this isn't spinning that fast. No, it's a tiny spin man I wish it shouldn't make you like to put my house on I wish I could make my house spin right now So I want to just know what that feels like all the cables will be ripping out of the fucking ground Well, you have to assume it's all set center center middle it has a gyro Rotating electrical situation for Not for the sewer line. Sewer line is going to have to be fine. You have to time your shits for when it's lined up with the sewer main. Here it comes.

Here it comes. Eep. Missed it. Cut it off. And wait for the next time around. Don't flush. And then ready? Three.

And just, just shit kind of in the sewer main. Yeah, that sucks. I mean, do we like that more? I don't know. I think we're overthinking all of this, but I think the fun part of, of just trying to get in out of your house, your friends having to jump into your house, man. I mean, it really does depend on how big your home is. Right. If you have a bigger house, then the rotation is going to be slower. Yeah. If you have a, if you did like a trailer, that's going to spin. Yeah. Well, I want to see, like, I want to picture most trailers just have like

a little driveway, but I'm picturing like a house with a, I think I said that the parking garage. Yeah. Most trailers just have like a little driveway, but I'm picturing like a house with a I think I said that you park in the garage Yeah Imagine trying to time your your park in the garage like you open the garage door But not not just you jumping in the front door now It's like you're trying to time pulling your fucking car into the garage This turns into a mini game every day if you miss that like you're going through the wall. Yeah Not doing it. Yeah, I'm gonna have to do the calling,

calling for food ordering and just be a pain in the ass, at least within, uh, the people that love me and the service industry, but I can't have a house that just spins. I think it'll drive you insane. Just too much. Too much going on. Is it as, ah, fuck. Is that a party house? Yeah. Is it is, man, fuck. Is that a party house? Yeah. Is it is man, they're both really fucking annoying.

Uh, I guess, yeah, I think I probably agree with you just because. Fuck, I don't know though. Well, you got it. Let's pick one. You can do it. I'll probably go with the ordering one just because it's less sucky, but still really fucking annoying super annoying. Yeah. Zach, what are you picking?

I'm picking the spitting house. I had to deal with the whole phone thing in a weird way in a different way. My mom would call me from the drive through when I was a kid and put me on a spot. Make you order through. Yeah. And just piss the people off. So I had a ton of spit as a kid from drive through for sure. So all of that and like, that's just amounted to you want your house to be spinning.

Yeah. I want the party house, bro. I'll be fine. I think I want to make a correction. I just been thinking about the physics on this with my brain. I said it the wrong way. The bigger the circle, the faster the circle would have to rotate to make it a full

amount of the distance. Oh yeah. Versus, yeah. A tiny thing is going to rotate very slowly. Like if you lived in an outhouse, one rotation is going to be a lot slower than a fucking, like a five bedroom house. That thing's going to have to rip to make one rotation within one minute. Right? Okay. I think so. I'm trying to visualize this now. Yeah.

This is shrink it way down. Like if you had a telephone that had to rotate one time, like if you were an aunt next to a telephone, like that's kind of the same size human thing, right? But an ant next to a gigantic house that's ripping and has to make a full, that phone, like that's covering so much more distance. Doesn't matter. All right. Well, just don't buy a big house. All right. Next thing. Go. Hey.

Hey, what's up, babe? What are you thinking about? You know, nothing. Actually, you know what? I'm thinking about a lot of shit. What are you thinking about? Ah, you know nothing actually, you know what I'm thinking about a lot of shit What are you thinking about? Don't ask us to my physics and math my brain could not to had a hard time wrapping around that That's got to be it like the illusion that it's moving. Okay, we're good. I Have a quick question. Okay, what the fuck's going on with my pharmacy no no okay and if you are a pharmacist out there high up on your platform just high as fuck on other

people's drugs mm-hmm just up there looking down on 98 of them in here I took do I don't know but if you fucking tell anybody you're getting zero I and I mean is this just like everywhere there's every pharmacy a fucking shit show well here's a question okay uh if you're a pharmacist um don't take offense but well maybe you will I don't know or have you ever met a pharmacist that has like a personality? I have. I've met one or two. Man. Every time I go into my, it's just like the driest. I mean, it looks like a pretty boring job. I get it, but like- Important, but boring as fuck. I don't, so, but I, my personality is whenever I go and like talk to someone, I try to like, I don't joke, ramble, like, you know, try to make

the best out of the situation. And I feel it's a one way street every single time. Not have them rub off on you and ruin your day. So you try and bring in a little humor. Yeah. Like lighten the mood a little bit and I just get nothing back every time. Different person. Right. And there's always pharmacy things where there's like the miscommunication between the doctor and the pharmacy. You show up and you have to wait a little bit and you're like, you have to walk around right in minutes and everything's $15 more than it's supposed to be. And you're like, that's too expensive.

Some guys over the corner getting his blood drawn and then some old lady sitting on the thing. I told you I've hypertension Yeah We all know pharmacy situations, right? But that I had I just recently had to move pharmacies And I'm I'm on the fence. I don't feel like Are you talking about cuz right? It's closing. I know so I read it is closing ours is we have to move Yeah, I I moved because I actually moved. All right, right. So I read it is closing. Ours is we have to move. Yeah. I moved because I actually moved.

Oh, right. Right. So there's that. And I'm just trying to think through my bank right now on the spot. If this particular pharmacy advertises on our show. I hope not. So it's Safeway. So Safeway Pharmacy. I mean, we talk all about Safeway. It's the safest place. We had lots of stories about the Safeway over there in North Spokane. So, I had some great experiences out there. It's a safe way to go. It's the safest. So, there's a Safeway Pharmacy over here in Liberty Lake as well, where I moved. So, these examples, and I just started piecing this together over the most recent little thing that happened I was like dude. This is crazy. These things have happened

All in the last two to three weeks And I was like I want to just throw this out there and I want our listeners to let me know if this is like normal pharmacy behavior Like this isn't your average Like, this isn't your average. Cause I have other options and I can just go across the street because there's another pharmacy right there. Yeah. Uh, but I don't want to jump to conclusions here and think I'm going to go over there

and I could be running the same shit. So let's start with worse. Let's start with transferring my information to the pharmacy. So when you, when you have prescriptions and you have to get them filled somewhere else, I went from a Safeway pharmacy to an existing other Safeway pharmacy. I assuming should be seamless. Feels like they should talk to each other. Yeah. Same company. Should work out. So I call and like, I call the Liberty Lake Safeway Pharmacy.

And this guy picks up, don't know his name. And he goes, hello. And I was like, hi, I just moved here. This is going to be the first time that I get these prescriptions filled at this location. Okay, okay, let's take a look. He's like, what's your birthday? That's always the first question. And I go, well, hey, 12. And he goes, okay, your name? And I'm like, Joseph Paisley. And you hear like, what's your birthday? That's always the first question. And I go, yeah, well, hey, 12. And he goes, okay, your name? And I'm like, Joseph Paisley. And you hear like, you hear like the, and this little number like, yeah, yeah, let's see here. Why can't people just be quiet? He goes, what was your name again? And I was like, Joseph Paisley. And he goes, I'm not seeing you here. He goes, what pharmacy are you moving from? I was like, I didn't say this, but I want to be like, like I fucking said, another

Safeway pharmacy. And I was like, Oh, you know, Safeway pharmacy in Spokane. He goes, he goes, huh. Okay. Um, one second. Okay. Yeah. So Joe, he goes, I'm not seeing you here. He goes, and you're sure it was at a Safeway pharmacy. Like the, the questions where you know, they are just trying to cover cause they talk to idiots all fucking day. right? So they have to cover the most basic jump plug it and plug it back in the gravitron Gravitrons nuts hey, hey Terry. Hey Terry the gravity runs not spinning, dude

Sucks man. Hang on Hey, is the Carney hotline? Yeah, I'm all out of the giant stuffies people kids are going crazy Are you stacking the bottles with the heaviest ones on the bottom of course man wait on the bottom yeah So oh shit. I've been putting them on top Well, that's why I don't have any fucking stuffies Everybody's fucking waiting. They're not supposed to win. We're all picking your balls. Imagine having to pick up all those rings from the little bottles. No, you got to walk around to do that anyway. So not, let me try to unplug and unplug you back in the Gravitron.

Gravitron. And he's, you see her, and then, It's me again. Gonna spin it, circles all day. You're gonna ride it up the wall. BADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADAD DAD DAD DAD DAD DAD DAD DAD DAD DAD DAD DAD DAD DAD Don't you dare throw up! This is my real voice! I'm not singing in this song! I'm not singing something weird! Bada-dan-woo!

Okay, back to the story. So he does this, he puts me on hold, he brings me back, and this happens for quite a bit of time, and I'm just like what the fuck You know just dealing with it and I shit you not While he's on the phone with me. He goes I think this is the first time this has ever happened Like I've never seen this work in here. They I'm like, mm-hmm. And then I hear Someone in the background a gentleman who I believe maybe the manager he leans in not supposed to hear this part and he goes yes You misspelled Joseph. And with no one talking, you see him go, oh, oh. And he goes, oh, there it is. Pete Slauson There you are.

Pete Slauson Computer wasn't working right. You misspelled Joseph? I wonder how he spelled it. I'm guessing J-O-E-S-P-H, Joseph. Oh yeah, he kept the E. I don't know, I wasn't over the shoulder, but he misspelled Joseph. This is the first time this has ever happened. Then as I go in there now to pick out my prescriptions, I think I know who it is. Like I'm just kind of picking out the pieces. Sorry, still a little sick. So, that's how this all kind of happened. Let's go to another one. So, I was at this pharmacy picking up stuff and I walked in there

and they have a rope set up and when I walk in, there's a guy standing on one side of like, the little rope that distinguishes where a line is to wait to pick up your prescription and where everybody else is. And this one guy was standing on the outside of the rope. And then everyone else, there's like two people on the inside of the rope. But at the time that I walked up there, they were like way back where the drop off your prescription area is. So I just walk up and stand next to the other guy that's by the station that I wanna go to. So I'm standing next to him, and then as I'm standing there, I start assessing the situation,

and the two people that were by the drop off were just looking at vitamins and slowly working their way down the rope. And I was like, oh, okay. So I'm out here, I don't know what the fuck this guy's doing out here, but I'm gonna have to just wait for these guys to go in front of me because I lined up on the wrong side of the Rope and it turns out that the guy that I lined up next to was waiting for his wife to pick up her prescriptions

She gets done and he looks at me and he goes that guy's next And he just points at me and I'm like, yeah, I know And he just points at me and I'm like, yeah, I know. And that guy goes, just walks up in front. And his wife walks up to this guy that just goes, this guy's next. And he hits him in the chest goes, what are you the traffic director now? It hits me goes in that here and walking away goes, I thought he was going to cut. It was Jesus. He was standing there because that's where you were standing. And he's like,

old couple mumbling. And I'm like, dude, God, they've been doing it for 50 years. Just why are you so fucking mad at me? Yeah. And then this is another wild one, but it goes back to another Safeway Pharmacy. This guy's next. This guy's next. And I just went, yeah, I know. And then they all like looked at each other and he just walked up there and he's like He thought he was being a fucking hero. Mm-hmm. No, just being an asshole Rick The other Safeway pharmacy in Spokane won't stop filling my fucking prescriptions. Mmm. I've called him three times got another one here If they keep texting me I've called him three times and I'm like, Hey, you guys stop

filling them. I don't live there anymore. Like, they're like, Oh yeah, absolutely. It will not happen again. Got it. Hang up this next last time. The next day they text me, Hey, just a reminder. It's going to be put back on the shelf. So if you don't pick it back up. I'm like, I fucking hate you guys. And then here's the most recent one that blew my mind. I had to go in and get like an appointment, get my blood work done for the testosterone replacement. And went into the office. They, because of like just some overlap and changing doctors, they called to the, to the pharmacy and they made sure

that the pharmacy had my, my testosterone. And because it was going to be a quick turnaround to make sure I didn't miss a dose, because you don't want to just skip doses on testosterone replacement. Not good for you. How come? Yeah, because it is sad and everyone's sad and your heart can stop or whatever. And so, so they called ahead to get this all done and they said, yeah, yeah, yeah, we got it. They got it. We will hold onto it 100%. So then everything got approved through my blood work and I called to get this all done and they said yeah, yeah, we got it. They got it We will hold on to it 100% So then everything got approved through my blood work and I called to get it and they're like, oh, yeah, we don't have that anymore Yeah, but you said you did it's like well the doctor called and said you like oh, yeah, no we had it

But so what else does now? What's your name again? Joseph? I don't see you here. I'm just like, God damn it, dude. And they're like, I mean, we're trying to get it into like tomorrow morning. I was like, I'm already two days late because you motherfuckers can't do this. So I just want to know, I'm just mostly venting about Gravitrons and Safeway Pharmacy. If you guys, let me know, pharmacy transactions always happen smoothly or has some crazy shit happen, send that into heyguys at canyondopodcast.com. Pete Slauson So, we, however, if we get billed, when we get our medication, there's some weird

way that it's got to run through something that my wife always like, make sure they run it through the whatever to get a different price. Um, cause they, every time I go to get it, they're like, it's a hundred and whatever dot and like, and then, and then, so I just cause it's going to tie back into the, the first thing. Yeah. So I can, I call my wife to say like, hey,

Pete Slauson What was the name of the thing again? Pete Slauson 14 years? Pete Hrister No, no answer. So I'm like, well, I don't know, my wife said you need to run it through like a special thing. So then the guy's just like, staring at me. And then he turns the other guy and he's like, Pete Slauson We have a special thing to run it through? Pete Hrister Yeah. And then the guy's like, yeah, he means to run it through the whatever. So then they do that. And it, every single time I go through the same process where I'm like, no, we got

to run through this thing. And then if they, and then I call my wife, you know, every fucking time. And it's like, it goes the same process. And now we're, we're currently in a legal battle. It's messy. All right. Uh, our ride aid is closing. So all the shelves are you walk in there and it looks like like everyone just raided the store. And it's all that's in there. Basically now is the pharmacy in the back. So you walk all the way through to get the pharmacy and lights are flickering and shit. Jared Liespil They like pry a board off the, off the counter and be like, just want you to know, we're not filling anymore. Pete Slauson Well, she, so that's what she said. She goes,

okay, so in order for your prescription to not get fucked up, she's like, she told me this whole process. Now, make sure that when they did it, fill it and then they, yeah, and then once they, once they give you the last one, then go get it transferred because they'll fuck it up and not, they'll cancel it. And so then you won't get it. And we'll have to re-or in all that shit. So in like, we're, it's funny you mentioned this because we're actually going through this right now. We're trying to, and so we're going from a Rite Aid to a Walgreens and I've always done Rite Aid. Pete Slauson God speed.

Jared Slauson I've always done Rite Aid, so I don't know what I'm, but I do know the Walgreens that I'm going to have to go to. It's a tight little thing in the back. It's messy. It's a corner store though. Yeah, it is a corner store. All Walgreens are. But here's the problem. There's a divider in the middle of the road. So it's a whole, I'm going to go all the fucking way around. So what I usually do is I cut into the other, the oncoming lane to turn in the, to turn

into the thing to go around the drive through. Otherwise I have to go like, go drive down to a light, go through the light, come back around just to get to it. So I have to fucking do that. I just let everyone die at that point. That's too much work too much work Yeah before I could go to ride aid and then I would go over to see super one I get my prescription and then run over and get like groceries or whatever

So now I got a whole fucking thing I gotta do otherwise I got a drive across town Not about to do that. There's no other options out there. No. You got a yolks where we, so where we live is highly residential and they're like, we vote against new stuff, stuff. So we just know cool stuff. Yeah. And we finally got a home Depot and that people not, not happy about it. Not happy about the convenience.

Well, the poor little, when I have to repair something, I want it to take all day! The thing that sucks is there's a, there's a mill, there's like an Ace hardware, but it's like a family-owned hardware. Well, Ace is the place with... The hell for hardware folks. But they aren't going to last there for much longer. Right across the trees where they put in that Home Depot, dude.

Dude, I don't know. Ace, how is Ace, Ace keeps doing it, man. I know they do, I know they do. Yeah, they find a way. Ace is fucking, still use it here. And there's a Home Depot right next to it. I'd rather do. I know they do. Yeah, they find a way. Ace is fucking still use it here. It is a home Depot right next to it. I'd rather go to ace and fucking home Depot. I would too. Pat I'd pay, I'll pay three bucks more. Just have to go walk around all the aisles to find some shit.

It's a tiny little shop. Yeah. I don't know. It wasn't that busy when I went in there home Depot. Yeah. So they're, I think ace is holding their own. Hell yeahlauson Hell yeah. Fuck yeah, Ace. Just another, we're just supporting another billion dollar corporation. Like, talking about they're small. Pete Slauson Yeah. Pete Slauson Like, I don't know, hopefully, Ace can hang in there against the big dogs. Pete Slauson Well, it's family owned.

Pete Slauson How much is Ace worth? I think we have to start right there. Pete Slauson There's also a little Miller's Hardware, a little local hardware shop close to there too Uh, I didn't specify and it gave me a bunch of card games We get it because I got ace, ah, okay ace hardware spades hardware discount, uh, okay So the little underdog here So the little underdog here, uh, back in, in 2024, you guys want to take a little guess at how much they made in 2024? 76 billion.

Oh, well you went too high. Five billion. 9.5 billion. Like we're talking like, I hope they can really pull through. Yeah, but one goes and then another one goes, you know It's kind of like like, you know subway did with fucking Quiznos Oh Quiznos quiz love it so quiznos, but I remember it closed and then a subway took over that It was just like it would just eat it. Yeah, eat it alive and I missed that quiznos that fucking chicken

Just eat it up. Yeah, eat it alive. And I missed that Quiznos, that fucking chicken, honey mustard chicken sandwich. And they had one at the airport. That was my last thing, but I could never get, it was either too late or too early. Could never get a sandwich. And now it's something else. Spokane sandwiches or something. All right.

Well, there you go. Thanks. Thank you guys for letting me vent. Let's move on to some dick. Let's gape it. Zach, please. Is it dumb? Is it interesting? Is it cool? Then it's dick dick. All right. You guys want to go to airplane town? You know we love to live in airplane town. Just Zack's like, yeah. Yeah. I fucking love airplanes.

All right. We talk about airplanes a lot. Well, yeah. And with good reason. I mean, cause they are all over the place. So it makes sense. Mm hmm. Yeah. Uh, but this is a little ridiculous. And then the final line in this article is what really fucking bothers me.

So passenger misinterpret seat neighbors, RIP text, forcing flight to divert. Okay, so there's a lot of things wrong with this, right? Like we're told you got to be vigilant. You got to be, you know, aware of your surroundings. You could stop the next terrorist attack by checking out what your neighbors are doing. Being nosy is what you're saying? Yeah, like if you look over there and they're wiring a bomb, like you should say something. You're like, that doesn't look like- You don't think it's just mind your own business? I mean, I get what you're saying. So an American- Maybe he's planning on

using that bomb somewhere else. On the next flight, what's it do you? Yeah. What are the chances you guys have the same connecting flight? Calm down. So an American Airlines passenger snooping on one of their seat neighbors forced the flight to return to San Juan after reporting a potential security concern based on an overseen text message. Puerto Rico. Yeah. I just visualed the guy just sitting in the chair just kind of like doing this move.

He's like, RIP. So local news outlet, Primera Aura, reported that one passenger saw another receive a text message saying rest in peace. That's it. Oh, my God. If someone oversaw the text messages, I fucking said, I wouldn't be allowed on the airplane or anywhere near an airport or schools or anything. or anywhere near an airport. Pete Slauson Or schools, or… Pete Slauson Anything! Pete Slauson A women's bathroom.

Pete Slauson All it took was an RIP and interpreted it as a threat to the flight according to Puerto Rico's Office of Explosives and Public Safety. That's a real office. Pete Slauson It says it on the board. Pete Slauson That's a long piece of wood. Pete Slauson Phew! Pete Slauson American Airlines flight 1847 was on its scheduled service between San Juan and Dallas and returned to Puerto Rico officially after takeoff. The airline confirmed the incident in a statement to USA Today, all caps.

Why is that like that all the time? I think that's just how it is. I know, but it should be illegal. You're going to read it like it's too loud. Too loud, I'm not going to do it. It's a phony. And said the plane was eventually cleared to depart again after the threat was deemed non-credible.

The flight landed safely at SJU and law enforcement inspected and cleared the aircraft to re-depart. The statement said, safety and security are our top priorities and we apologize to our customers for the inconvenience. Here's the final line I was getting at. In general, it's a good idea for travelers to speak out if they have security concerns. If that's the case, it should also be, in general, fine for the flight attendant to punch you in the face for making this plane turn around over an RIP text message. Right? Like, why couldn't the office of explosions and TNT dynamite bombs hack into this airplane? Like look at the cells and be like, Oh, no, no, we're good. I mean, I don't, again,

I don't approve of that, but I also don't approve of someone just being like, I don't again I don't approve of that but I also don't approve of something just being like I don't like it Turn it around. You know, it's it's probably some some guy couple guys like dude You see undertaker return last night at the pay-per-view and they're like fuck. Yeah, dude. All right, brother You know, this is something simple and the guys like I don't like it. I like it Let's turn let's turn this some bitch around Turn around. Nope. I don't like it. Let's turn. Let's turn this some bitch around. Turn it around. Nope. I'm not dying. Like even for our IP is so like I have texted on airplanes, just being funny, like literally to children and friends. Like they're on the plane. I'm like,

you didn't forget to pack the bomb. Mm-hmm Bomb is one of those words It's just it's so funny to me like go fuck yourself Yeah, like and you've never gotten caught but I just oversee that or like sexting with Cassie And I'm just like I'm gonna Fuck I'm gonna pound your ass. I'm gonna shove this fuselage into your fucking dirt hole and some grandma's like I'm gonna shove this fuselage into your fucking dirt hole and some grandma's like Turn it around. I can't wait to jam his fuselage in your fucking Trade Center, you know I'm gonna burn your tower seven down with my penis can't wait to crash my 747 into your fucking

Trade Tower milky trade tower gonna gape your trade. I'm gonna gape your tower. I'm gonna fucking come in. My fuselage is going to come in. Coming in the big tower. Coming in the big one. How many towers you want coming in it? Two? I'm going to fucking bring down your freedom tower. Pentagon more like pentagape.

Pentagon like everybody on this airplane. I wish everyone on this airplane was gone so we could pentagate your ass. Not a hashtag nine 11. And she's like, see, I always should report myself for that. Let's roll. That's what you're saying, right? No, but, um, just being that shit overseeing it, but I fuck with my friends all the time. Like, it's just so funny to me.

And the stuff I write, just because I'm on an airplane, it's not going to stop me from being a dark comedy motherfucker. So I would like to know more information. And the information that I'm looking for is something like, uh... They killed the person who reported the text because that's how I wish this article yeah everything's fine the person's dead so we're all good we can they landed in Dallas had a public hanging right that's a good spot for it what I mean Texas oh hang him high brother let's swing till the sound comes. Uh, so like, no, what, so the guy that's sitting there, like, why is he, I get

like report suspicious activity, but what was that fucking dude just like staring? He's like, yeah, like what's he fucking doing? And how did you, if you can see all the text messages, why did you just grab RIP is the one. It must've been somebody with like super-sized fucking text Oh, those are the because how else do you see that? I just recently unless you're really looking I just found out one of my really good friends has the biggest text setting the one really like So it's like two words on the line. That's it

One text like if you you get the bigger bigger it gets yeah, I know I get it But if you set like just a normal text message It's like three finger swipes to get through on the biggest setting and I have a friend that has the biggest setting And I don't know if I've been friends with them if I knew that I want to gape but each one is I? And then someone you're like Are you? is I want you're like are you feeling like every sex message you send is like scratching off a lottery ticket you're like I want to lick hope it's my pussy your forehead god damn it I want'm watching like my forehead turn this some bitch around

All right, let's move on to the next story Brian you read about it. Mm-hmm. You do it. You're gonna do it. Yeah All right hundreds of Amazon packages mistakenly shipped to a woman's home for over a year She says it's been hell. I mean, it does sound like it. Unless you just keep it all. Big inconvenience. Look at that picture.

Just stack. I know. Stack from stack. I can't wait for you to find out what it is. San Jose, California. It's an Amazon nightmare. Imagine hundreds of oversized packages appear on your doorstep. And you have no clue why. You never ordered them, yet the shipping spree to your street continues for more than a year.

Okay. Oh, hang on. I got a little buzz going. Oh, what happened? I don't know. Did you fix it? Oh. Okay. You got a little buzz going. Oh, what happened? I don't know you fix it. Oh Yeah, okay That's what happened to a San Jose woman Her frustrating scenario is linked to an overseas online seller who appears to be violating Amazon's return policy

K not her real name is utterly confused as to why scores of large boxes filled with car seat covers keep appearing at her doorstep. She says it's non-stop. It's all night with this guy. The mystery shipping spree is now haunting half of her carport. What you see now is a fraction because I've refused delivery on more packages than you see here. This picture is her just standing in a fucking Area of her side of her house. Yeah, it looks like it could be a portion of a warehouse Yeah, it's just fucking is there anything more useless than too many car seat covers. They're all the exact same size They're all just a square Inside each package is a set of faux leather car seat covers from

a Chinese online seller called Louisandele-dean. Pete Slauson Sounds fancy. Jared Slauson The online seller's Amazon listing advertises the brand Etkin selling seat covers supposedly to make, made to fit various makes and models of sedans and SUVs. But as you can see from Case House, in many of these cases, the covers didn't fit and consumers said they were forced to pay out of pocket to return them to the company's return center. One person commented online, why haven't I received my refund? We sent through U ups three weeks ago well case working on it she can only do so much

fucking patient oh gosh she's not getting paid neither uh-uh um yeah little did they know they're just piling up in k's garage in part because the online seller put k's address on their return labels oh my god a lot of you don like, how did they choose that address? That's what is so funny to me. They're like, like over in China, they have all this, they have a, a, a limited like inventory of faux leather leather car seats that are being promised to fit all sorts of different cars. And they just like, once they started getting like return shit, they just

went to the U S like on fucking Google maps and we're like, there. Like you fucking lost it. I guess the worst lottery to win is some, some fake ass company is shipping shit to your house. Cause imagine like, I mean, imagine doing it on a purpose. Talk about the ultimate prank. Oh yeah. Like if you, like if I opened, I just came across like a bunch of, I don't know, like tickle me almost, but something was wrong with him and I knew it. Yeah. And then I just put your return or your address as the

return. And he was like, where the fuck are these coming from? So this is a scam, right? It sounds like they just don't want to deal with it. If you keep reading, I'm going to find out. It gets worse for everybody involved. Little did they know they're piling up in K's garage in part because the online server put K's address and return labels, leaving her stuck in this mess. Meanwhile, reviews indicate consumers are stuck without their refunds. In one case, a viewer wrote, it's going to cost me $124 to return this item. An item that she already paid at least $129 for. Oftentimes, what it costs to return is about more than 50% of what they paid for it. Kay said, plus, these consumers aren't getting their money back. Kay says she's contacted Amazon countless times and tried to resolve this over the past

year, including filing six complaint tickets. And every time, I was absolutely assured this will stop, just like you. It's like me at the pharmacy. You will never hear from us about this prescription again. You won't get any more of these packages. You'll hear from us in 24 to 48 hours. You got it. Then the next day they're like, here's four more packages.

Kay said she was even offered a hundred dollar Amazon gift balance. Oh, that's nice. What's something? Nope. Each month she says they just kept coming. They blocked her driveway mail carrier and doorway making it hard for her 88 year old mom who is disabled. When we come home, it was like, it's like this. She said pointing at the packages, crowding her doorstep. I couldn't

even get my mother in the house. I mean, she's been another form of hell. Even the delivery drivers, like how do you just keep going there? Yeah, he's like just toss it into the pile Cuz you know what it is. Nothing's wrong here at this point. You know what it is, right? I think there's I just have to do my job man. It's like at some point just leave it on the fucking truck Mm-hmm. It like something's wrong This lady has 600 return car seat packages. I'm not gonna keep dropping them off. So here manager, please fix this problem. I'm not fucking dropping these off.

Yeah. But now he's, he's at risk of losing his job. But Izzy, you're doing the right thing. Maybe this isn't good for Amazon. Where's Amazon going to store them? Well burn them, get rid of them, set them back, figure out where they came from. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you return them and then it goes to her address.

Anyway, we need to return these. Oh yeah. Here's the address. They ship them off to China. It's right back to K. But a truckload full of them at all at once. It has like some Chinese candy glued to it. Like nice try in

Chinese, nice try loser. Oh man, it gets torture. That would be a nightmare. I, is there a way for her to capitalize on this? Like take these things and then resell them again. And then worst garage sale ever. Oh my God. What's in this one?

I don't know. I'll give no refund sales are final. You just sell them for five bucks. I mean, you, I guess you could, yeah. I mean, go, go find the link on Amazon and people are obviously buying these fucking things. So just cut, just undercut them. Yeah. Sell them all. But what if they need to get returned? Yeah. So she, she picks another address on Google maps. Just get them out of here. Send them to like her fucking ex. I guess I'd know that that little eternal nightmare could even happen.

But I guess you never considered that. But a company gets that fucking big, like, how do you control what's actually happening underneath it? There's just gotta be ways to figure it out. And that's what they did. All right, let's hop off to Petty Beef here. All right, Zach, roll it. Silence in the court. You are now entering the Petty Beef courtroom where all sides of some bullshit will be heard and evaluated. The people are real. The cases are real. The rulings are final ish. This is Petty Beef.

Sent in by our son Aaron. He says, Hey guys, I love to save money. I have a decent job. I own my own home. I do all right for myself and my family. When we go grocery shopping at places like Walmart, I like to get the great value, cheapest brand of most things as they don't really matter. Uh, such as ranch dressing, macaroni and cheese, hot dogs, et cetera. I will say I understand shelling out more for toilet paper, but not paper towels.

Listen, listen, get the, get the top of the line toilet paper, but paper towels? Dude, I get it. We talked about this. I made the jump to like the tear edge on the Charmin, where it has the little squiggly line. Oh yeah. I'm going to have a really hard time ever going back. What if they discontinue it? They won't, because it's a good product.

I doubt that it's going to go ding. It tears better a good product. I doubt that's going to, it's not going, it tears better than anything you didn't think toilet paper could tear this well. You didn't. No. And anything you could dream up. No, it wasn't as good. Nope. So I'm telling you, it's worth the other little, little spendager. You know what I mean? So anyway, paper towels. My wife, however, just throws things into the cart willy nilly,

not even paying attention to price or brand. This causes small kerfluffles between us and sometimes have to stop the cart with our three kids in it and remove the item she picked up and replaced it with a cheaper alternative. Just reminds me of the Napoleon Dynamite scene. When he's like, you think money grows on trees? This family put it back! Remember when he shot with Uncle Rico? I didn't say get the 12 pack.

Get the eight pack, put it back. Just screaming in the store. She thinks it's not a big deal. Sometimes it's only like 25, 50 cents difference. I just know that I can easily save 15 to 20 bucks on a grocery store trip by being more selective. Your thoughts, Aaron. God, this is fun.

Because it is a good one. Are there certain things, because I'm a big fan of that generic brand. Like I don't, I don't give a fuck. Because I know on the back end, the processing side, it is, it's not just because they haven't put the marketing into it. Like that's why they do it. Just cause there's not a, uh, like a super delicious saturated commercial that you've seen on social media or TV. Doesn't mean the other version is like made from dirt in fucking cyanide.

Like it's still the same macaroni. They just didn't have the same marketing campaign. That makes you think that this is the luxury part. Maybe they don't need it because they, all they do is create the same product and put a lower price tag on it. And put it next to it. That's what I'm saying.

That's how generic brands work. They just don't have to pay Chester Cheetah. Yeah. Right. And a lot of them, they don't have to recreate shit. They just, it's the literally the exact same thing with different packaging. And if I remember right, they have an agreement that the packaging or the branding on the packaging can't be as good and flashy as the original. And they give them the same product and a cut of what the store like generic version

is of it. So it's like a Kirkland. Let's just stick with the same thing. We have Kirkland macaroni and then you have craft and there's a chance that the exact same macaroni is in both boxes, but they can't challenge craft with a design that's better than theirs. And then craft will still get money off of the Kirkland version, but they just mark it down.

And then craft will still get money off of the Kirkland version, but they just mark it down like it is a crazy Shit that we do not understand on the outside. We're like what like you think everyone has their own spaghetti factory No, they all just take each other's spaghetti and market differently. It's from the same spaghetti makers Like it's like everyone has to make their own spaghetti factory Anyway, that's how that works. Yeah. So it is funny. It is funny in this case. Anything that you buy that is just produced in bulk, so large. Yeah. It's just produced in one place, scattered around.

Soup. I don't know. I- Pizza. Yeah. Like it's not like everyone has their own frozen pizza factory. They all just make it and then put a different fucking packaging on it. And yes, there are different ones that challenge each other because they all want to make a bigger profit out of it. But when you see that one and then you see the store version of it, it's like

chances are it's the same fucking thing without the flashy packaging and whoever owned it originally also gets money off of it. And that token, I went to a pizza place not too long ago and I saw a bunch of dijourno boxes in the fucking dumpster Yeah, come on. You get it. It makes sense. No, it doesn't because it wasn't delivery. It was supposed to be It wasn't delivery. It was dumpster. It was dumpster. I'm we said disorder no pizza Fuck they still killing it man. They are that's a great marketing campaign though. It's not delivery. Yeah. It's, I mean, that just roughed right in your head, man. I know that more than I know my own social security number. Yeah. That's pretty cool. All right. So back to this, what do you guys feel about the cutting here and there in a grocery store? I never, it does that. I don't know. My wife's more of that.

The bargain shopper? Yeah. I, I've never really been like that. I just kind of grabbed the ones that I'm used to and whatever. I don't know. Hell yeah. Sounds like you and Aaron should go shopping together. Come on, bro.

Can I get the... It's I've just never never I don't know. I've never really been one of those like a penny pincher or like a Like you see people going with coupons and then have like a coupon for everything and they actually save a lot of money But for me, it's always just like time versus effort versus money. What else would I rather do with my time? Yeah, save 20 cents. Mm-hmm. And it's I've always just kind of been that way so like it's like yeah I could fix this but I could pay someone 50 bucks to fix it too. Like I think I'd just rather do that And here's the big eraser Aaron. I'm not sure if this will help because I am a bargain shopper, but I've also

The whole gas thing like people are obsessed with gas and looking at different gas prices. And I remember when I was young running out of gas and I had to, I barely coasted in or I had to push my car to a gas station, but I was lucky enough to be like within a mile of it. So it wasn't a huge fucking deal. And it was all over like 10 cents. Right. And then it, I remember thinking, I was like, dude, by the time I got done, feeling I saved what 13 bucks or not 13, a dollar 30 is what I saved. Not 13 bucks, like for a 13 gallon tank on this old fucking Camry or maybe say whatever it was 16 gallon, like I saved a1 60 and I'm pushing my fucking car by

myself at night. The fucking freeway like fuck off. So, I mean, I've same thing. Like some people will drive to Idaho to get gas because it's, you know, for, for us, it's, it's not far away. So, but for me, it's like, am I going to drive 30 minutes one way and then 30 minutes the other way to save 15 bucks on gas when I burned gas driving all the way out there to do it? That never to me, it was just like, it's not worth waiting in line for free ice cream cone.

Two hours for a free ice cream cone. I'll spend $3 on an ice cream cone. So I tend to be more like his wife in this one. And I think the big destroyer, what I was saying with, uh, with Aaron is like, think about all this money that you're like, you're saving doing all this effort or whatever to figure out how to save 10 bucks. Then the next time you just like go by like your kids, uh, fucking bag of talkies is like, there, they're good. There it goes. Yeah. Where it all went. Every time I try to think that way where I'm like saving this and saving that,

like I won't buy this thing because I don't want to spend the money, but I'll go and then we'll run to Carl's Jr. On the way here and spend 15 bucks. Can you not even just blow it? You know, it's like, I, it always will fucking work out. So I just don't care. So it's just easier for me to not worry about it. But not everyone's like that.

Some people they, it adds up and they, it in their brain, like I'd save this month and that's good for them because maybe they're. They're the budget. It fits within the budget and I probably should do more of that, but I just don't care. Well, let's, let's hear from the kids about the, uh, the Aaron and throwing random shit in the cart. Uh, how much of that piss you off?

Send it in. Let us know. Help the judges at Hey guys, it can, you don't podcast.com. All right. Let's hear it from the kids on something. Nice. You ready? Okay.

Zach. So you're telling me there's a chance. Hooray. We aren't doomed. Yeah! Uh, this kid is awesome. You ready for something that might make you, might make you cry? Oh, I thought you were gonna say horny. Whoa.

Aren't those the same thing? Could be. It depends on what you're into. Okay, here we go. Rolling it. It is every kid's worst nightmare and six-year-old Jaden Hayes has lived it. Twice. First he lost his dad when he was four. Then last month his mom died unexpectedly in her sleep. I'm not horny. I tried and I tried and I tried to get her away. Cool. Jaden is understanding of her.

She's wearing the fingerless leather gloves. Anybody can die. Just anybody. But there's another side to his grief. A side he first made public a few weeks ago when he told his aunt and now guardian, Barbara DiCola, that he was sick and tired of seeing everyone sad all the time. And he had a plan to fix it.

And that was the beginning of it. That's where the adventure began. Jayden asked his Aunt Barbara to buy a bunch of little toys and bring them here to downtown Savannah, Georgia, near where he lives. So he could then give them away. Thank you, man. What is it you're doing?

Well, I'm trying to make people smile. Rubber duckies, dinosaurs. Because those are the things that make people smile. Yeah. And what happens to their face? Really? Really. See that thing right there?

Jaden targets people who aren't already smiling and then turns their day around. You made me smile. He's gone out on four different occasions now and he's always successful. It's to make you smile. Even if sometimes he doesn't get exactly the reaction he was hoping for. It is just so overwhelming to some people that a six-year-old orphan would give away a toy expecting nothing in return except a smile. Of course, he is paid handsomely in hugs.

And his aunt says these reactions have done wonders for Jaden. It's like sheer joy came out of this child. And the more people that he made smile, the more this liked him. Jaden says that's mostly true. But I'm still sad that my mom died. I bet you are.

This is by no means a fix, but in the smiles he's made so far, nearly 500 at last count, Jaden has clearly found a purpose. I'm counting on it to beat 33,000. 33,000? That's a pretty big goal. You think he can make that goal? I think I can. I think he just did. Oh, geez.

Well, that's adorable. Yeah. And sad. So now the kids are little shit heads. I think I can. I think I can. Oh man. Sometimes you just need a purpose and to keep you going.

I mean, for all we know, he could fucking start selling meth later, but right now he's not and that's pretty cool. Just giving out free. Maybe there's meth inside those dinosaurs. He's giving out. No, but, uh, yeah, just turned it around. He's like, I'm just sick of people being sad. I get it.

Good for you, man. Um, but anyway, well, got a little tears in my eyes. Here's, Hey, look what I found. Let's go. Zach. Fuck. The internet is pretty wild. Depending on your browsing habits, you can either experience something super

cool or go to prison crazy, right? Let's check it out together as a couple. Hey, look what I found. Wait, hold on. This is a disaster. Can you click on the on the article? The link I guess. Oh, never mind.

No, this isn't even fucking close. Can you click on the on the article the link I guess oh everyone? No, it's even fucking close Well, what's the point? Come here sir with nothing there Again, and now go and come back. Oh, man. What was it supposed to be? It was a it was a whole thing I have another I have another one that we could do, but it's another. The time capsule. Yeah. That's the one I'm trying to find, but let me try and pull it up. Dude.

That's so weird. Like if you're a website and we've, we've experienced this live on air a couple of times doing the podcast. We're like, you give us a link and then we put it in here and then you just shift the link to an entirely different article. Like what are you supposed to do with that? Yeah. So something fucked up on the back end.

It worked yesterday. What the fuck? Yeah. Is it the one from Nebraska? Is that where we, is it over? Is it the world's biggest time capsule? World's largest time capsule open in Nebraska 50 years later.

Fuck yeah, let's do it. Thousands of letters. You gotta read it. Okay, thousands of letters and artifacts were put on display during a celebration on Friday. That was a few days ago. Seaward Nebraska, treasures from 1975, sealed inside with the World Record Academy, once called the world's largest time capsule, went on display Friday, drawing hundreds of people

from across the country to watch a glimpse of relics from the past. Thousands of letters, pet rocks, artwork in groovy teal suit, and even a yellow Chevy Vega had been preserved inside the capsule, a portal to another era for half a century. Pete Slauson How much has changed in that time, dude? Pete Slauson Yeah, 50 years. This is a culmination of 50 years of planning on the part of my father, Trish Davison Johnson said. I don't see any pictures or anything. Well, the other article, it really had it. Let's just learn about the time capsule for now. I'll help you.

Oh yeah. Back then, sealing the items was a logistical feat. Fisher and her father created a ventilation system to keep moisture out. In 1983, after they learned they had lost the world record from the World Record Academy, the family added a pyramid atop the capsule to recapture the title. There were packages from, I'm going to say, 3000 people, letters and packages, letters to themselves, letters to the grandchildren, letters to their heirs, Davidson said. Inside some items fare better than others. A lot of the other packages that were wrapped in plastic have come out very, very well, but we have a layer of mold type items on the outside of all the paper and cardboard. But again,

I would say about 80% of the people are going to be able to get their items back, and 20% of them are going to be disappointed. My parents didn't think that they would be here 50 years later to retrieve, so hold on, Stephanie Fisher traveled from Colorado with her parents to retrieve their artifact, a cassette tape that contains voice messages from members of her family. My parents didn't think they'd want to be here 50 years later to retrieve it with us, so it's pretty special to know that their voices are there and haven't been, they haven't been heard in a long time, Fisher said, filled with emotion. Pete Okay. So, here's, so, the whole concept of this whole, I mean, so, here's your pictures and stuff when they opened it up.

They had like a Guinness World Records type situation where they wanted to have the biggest time capsule of all time. Whoa. But I mean, it seems a little ridiculous. Did you guys ever, you guys ever part of a time capsule burial? I honestly feel like I've read so much about him. I feel like I was a part of one,. I feel like I was I know right a part of one But I have no idea if I actually was I think I didn't have the patience to be a part of it

My elementary school did when I was a little kid, I think yeah me too I think so, but I really don't remember what the fuck I would have thought was gonna be cool enough to put in there a pog Yeah, that was probably was it baseball carts? garbage pail kids right like what's the fucking point? But I just love the, the idea of this place to style or like a C word having the, the time capsule and then the world's largest and then, or they didn't have it, their record got broken. So they made a bigger one with a pyramid to take it back and they opened it up and and then like, everything's fucking covered in mold.

Pete Slauson I mean, is there anything worse than like, the… Pete Slauson It's like cooking something, you pull it out and it's shit. Pete Slauson The reveal of anything that you have these expectations for, and you're like, fuck. Pete Slauson Yeah, like, all right, today's the big day! You just open it up and it's just burnt casserole. You're like, well. Just checked on it 10 minutes ago. Like, well, you can't undry the turkey.

So happy Thanksgiving. Say the next for me, Clark. But time capsules, I love them. I can't wait to, there's going to be some crazy shit opened up in the future. I'd like to go, oh, think about if you could time travel, then open up time capsules, I love them. I can't wait to, there's going to be some crazy shit opened up in the future. I'd like to go, think about if you could time travel, then open up time capsules like just the year before they're supposed to be. Steal it. Well, I mean, that's kind of what treasure hunters have done. They just pop around and get in there and then put a little note in there. You're like, I opened this last year, Seal it back up imagine like imagine that in Egypt

Where they like they bury they bury a Pharaoh and they put all this gold in there and like couple days later Somebody sneaks sneaks in and steals all the gold and runs off of it. What was that word you said? Which one steaks start to the arrow will start to the pee, but it sounds like a arrow. Yeah That's what the sound when they made when they when they open up the tomb and they're like Which one? Steex. Pharaoh? We'll start with the P, but it sounds like a pharaoh. Oh yeah. That's what the sound when they made when they opened up the tomb and they're like, where's the gold at? 2000 years from now they open up a time capsule, someone's buried and there's like a garage door opener and they push it.

It's like, I just fucking, ah, yeah. And that's it. That's the only thing in there. This is what we think the rock, the human sounded like 5,000 years ago. Just a picture of us. Daily rock. He's fucking, ah, yeah. He's pushing it, be like, thanks, I don't know what this is. He's pushing it, just like, oh, fuck, this DJ is breaking all the knobs off. Let's go.

What position did you play? What position did you play? Oh my god. What position did you play? That'll be on the news. Alright, let's hear from the kids. Zach, roll it! Thank you guys! Alright, let's hear what you guys think.

Really? You want to talk to me? Wow, that's cool. Alrighty, first email coming in from our son, Jacob, who writes, This is way too fucking long for me. Hello guys, I was listening to the show two weeks ago. I don't know what that, like at this, just lose track of time. Oh yeah, I have no idea what it is. And it was great, by the way, but I need to apologize to Brian.

Listening to the panic and distress in your voice while thinking about going up on a hot air balloon, which contrary to the evidence provided by your show is most likely a reasonably safe experience. I get it. The part of me that is a sadistic asshole thought it was hilarious and that you were being just a little ridiculous. And then the part that pretends to be a good person reminded me that everybody has their own fears. No matter how silly they seem to you, they might terrify someone else.

So here's my fear that induced panic attacks and made it hard to sleep, but will probably be silly for someone else. Like a lot of people, I have fantasies and daydreams just thinking about being rich and famous, being on TV, being a celebrity. Then I remembered that I'm anti-social and don't really like talking to people and just want the rich part. I don't want to be famous. Pete Slauson Amen. Jared Slauson So, in the year 2019, I finished a book I was working on and got extremely lucky

and a small independent publisher gave me a three-year contract on my book. And at first, I was totally excited. I thought it was the coolest thing ever. Then quickly, my mind started spinning out of control and I started getting panic attacks thinking I was going to have to talk to strangers about my book or go on a late night talk show, promote the book, and have to do book readings at stores and autograph signings, all the things that I absolutely did not want to do. Fuck oh fuck oh fuck. But in the end, everything was fine.

I was able to make almost $100 selling my book. So Brian, with a Y. because I fucking can, all brand. I, the sofa king, do apologize for laughing at your misery. I do that after every show. Apology accepted. Oh, feel free to poke fun at me as it's rightly deserved. This part is for terrible ideas to replace the hot air balloon ride if Brian really doesn't want to go. It should have been of Brian really doesn't want to go

It should have been perfect time sofa king to say This next part of the email is terrible ideas to replace the hot air balloon ride of Brian is really too much of a fucking Pussy to go like just go all the way back Right number one undo everything you guys can compete in an extreme eating challenge somewhere in your local area Oh, okay number two you guys buy a burner phone, put the number in Patreon, only spot for the silly geese. And then once a month, turn it on and take calls for 60 minutes from us. Be fine. Yeah. This one little extra.

I think I'd rather go on a hunter balloon. Take that suffocating take! Yeah, bitch! Boom roasted. Number three, this one's a little extra sadistic and I apologize in advance. Brian has to read 20 pages of any book of his choosing live. And he has to wear some sort of shock bracelet or collar. Oh no, oh no.

But like on the arm or maybe his thigh. Doesn't have to be an extremely painful one But just very uncomfortable a cock ring every time Brian messes up reading Joe gives him a shock And he has to start over from the beginning He can't quit reading until he gets through the entire 20 pages perfectly He can even have a month to study an attempt to memorize the 20 pages to increase the chances of him not being electrocuted That's it for now you guys guys. You guys are great. Keep it up.

Good work. Again, I'll be listening forever. Again, hot air balloon ride. You'd rather do that than listen to me. I wouldn't even have to shock you. I would just stare at you and make sure that you saw that I had that and that you would never, I would be going, I would be like like and every time Brian still funnesses up we still fuck it up I think I'd fuck I try to read too I think my problem is I

try to read too fast I truly believe that's what my problem is yeah and you have a feeling that you're reading too slow mm-hmm when when you read at a pace you think is slow it's actually normal all right you want to read this next one sure yes do our second email is coming in from our cock goblin. Slow down. Nice. Our second email is coming in from our cock gobbling daughter Katie who writes, Hi daddies. Your sober daughter Katie here. I've got 79 days clean and sober. Yay. Crushing it to my 90 days. You done it. But I was just listening to 118. So this is a while ago, so she's hopefully, how many

days will that be? Well beyond. Well beyond the 90, yeah. But the guy who was having sex with his pregnant wife and said, oh boy, I'm gonna come. Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh, gladden come, you bitch! Mike me, bitch!

Well, boy, do I have an hilarious story for you my second pregnancy now I have no idea but but I was pretty much addicted to blowing my now ex any Some pregnant women get addicted to pickles Yeah, and sometimes it's the other pickle I could put up with so much if so much if the person you're with was just addicted to blowing you. Yeah. Know what I mean? Anything you want.

Just put up with what, you'd be as nuts as you want. But if you're on my nuts, whenever. Okay. Now I'm thinking about that. So much so that he complained to one of his friends that she's so good at it, but it's like multiple times a day, dude. I don't have that much in me.

Try harder. To which his friend punched him and called him a pussy. Yeah. So during one of these times we were in the bathroom. I'm on my knees and he's standing, duh. God, I'm getting all boned up over here. I hope not. I'm doing the damn thing when he, in between moaning,

he looks down at me and says, hey, hey, they have a, they have big Kit Kats back at 7-Eleven. Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha!

He's got, it's gotten so normal. Yeah. That he's just like, Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you the big kit, KitKat's are back. KitKat's are back at seven 11. The breakfast bag was finally back. Finally back. That's the only one that could beat that.

Mm hmm. Get in a blowjob like, Hey, hey, she looks up like the bagel breakfast sandwich. It's finally back in McDonald's. Finally, dude. Oh, really, Hey, she looks up like the bagel breakfast sandwich. Finally, dude. Oh, finally. Huh? I literally stopped and I laughed so hard that the force made his dick fly straight out of my mouth because I was pregnant. I would go through candy phrases, phases, phrases, phrases, peanut butter, and big KitKats were my jam at the time, but the 7-Eleven we would go to had been out forever and he said he just remembered and felt necessary to tell me before he forgot. It was on my mind.

Pete Slauson Sorry, my huge dick in your mouth reminded me of the big KitKats. Jared Slauson That was a long running joke for us for a long time and he loved telling his friends that story. Anyways, I just thought you'd get a kick out of that. Pete Slauson We did. Pete Slauson A kick? Pete Slauson Uh huh.

Pete Slauson Break me off a piece of that. Pete Slauson Yeah. Pete Slauson I'm gonna go and keep crushing this sober thing and thank you so much for the shout out before my three year old is prog, progressing so much in the short time and saying single words now, I could just cry. Love you guys and love you, Zach. I heard you in the background when my last email was read on air and I could hear the carrying in your voice. Thank you. You guys will never understand how much that meant to me. You're super duper silly sober daughter Katie.

Super duper. Super duper silly daughter Katie. Yellow poker, not bikini. Super duper silly sober yellow something daughter Katie. Yellow poker, not by Gini. Super duper silly, sober, yellow something daughter can sober. You get it. Yeah. Good job. Good job. Good job. Good job. All funny stuff. Episode 161. We gotta get off to the bone town. No moan. Before Brian comes, send in things email address. Hey guys, at candyyondonepodcast.com. Thank you for everyone that supports us before and after the honkathon. But if you're new to the gaggle, god damn, it's awesome.

Can't wait to get that tattoo. We're working out the details right now. Head over to patreon.com slash canyondonepodcast. Rate and review us wherever you listen to the show. Thanks to Uncle Zach. Go check out scatcast. Yeah, it's me. And you'll find them at scatcast.com.

That is scat with a K. And thanks to the babysitters that moderate the can you don't playground. Let's wrap this baby up. Zachy Poo. Let me do it. Good God. Wrap it up already, huh?

So I just have a couple of facts to remind everybody. Here's how insane humans have always been. In ancient Egypt, people put a dead mouse in their mouth if they had a toothache, according to David Hoveland's 2010 book, Why You Should Store Your Farts in a Jar. Why you should store your farts in a jar. Mice were always used as a warts remedy in Elizabethan England after being cut in half then applied to the spot. Like everyone's just like, just been fucking around for so long. Do you have a dead mouse handy? Like, do you have to have you happen to have a, yeah.

Got this wart. You got this wart right here and cutting it in half, just rubbing it on there. Next one, paint used to be stored in pig bladders. The bladder would be sealed with a string and then pricked to get the paint out. This option wasn't the best because it would often break open American painter John G Rand was the inventor who in the 19th century made paint tubes from tin and screw caps Hmm things we used to do

And I guess it came down to that point We're like you're already hacking apart this beast and you like use the whole part what can we and you're sitting there and you're like flapping a Fucking raw pig bladder against your thigh like thinking you're like, what could I do with this? Go I mean I like the paint like you're blowing it up and you're like dropping it. You're like, that's not very bouncy. It just goes like one of those hot water bags. You're like, well, that wasn't, can't kick that. He's like, what else could I put in here?

Shake it around. Fuck up. What's the payment? Fucking humans were so weird. Yeah. Gosh. Put in here. Shaking it around. Fuck, I put some paint in it. Fucking humans were so weird. Yeah. Gosh dang. They probably tried to come in it though. Oh, you got fucking coming in the pig bladder.

Coming in the goody. You fucking coming in it. Now I mean, before things were figured out, that's what's crazy is this, the stuff that people used to do before we figured things out. It's like how many things happened that didn't become a thing that were tried. Those are the things that I want to see.

They're like, I didn't work. Yeah. Like, oh, you got a sore tooth. They're like, let's shoot it out with a fucking rifle or something, you know, and like took, put a hole, their cheek exploded and they're like, that was too much. It's rub a mouse on it. Mouse trap made of a gun. Yeah, remember that one? It's good stuff. That's good stuff. All right, let's get off to the bonus content. We love you guys! Bye! In the world