Can You Don't? - Can You Don't? | Loop. Pom Pom. Yes. Wrong Address.

Episode Date: April 17, 2024

Bryan pooped in his bed. I know you are all extremely shocked to hear this news. Let's talk about that, almost breaking into the wrong house, grinding up and smoking human bones in order to get high, bringing a hat pom pom to the vet because you thought it was a dying animal, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast ***New Episodes every Wednesday at 12pm PSTWatch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/83oBrhYNHrUSend in segment content: [e-mail]: http://canyoudontpodcast.comMerch Inquires: [e-mail]: http://facebook.com/canyoudontpodcastIG: http://instagram.com/canyoudontpodcastYouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wyt5rtOfficial Website: http://canyoudontpodcast.comCustom Music Beds by Zach CohenFan Mail:Can You Don't?PO Box 1062Coeur d'Alene, ID 83816Hugs and Tugs.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Boop. Pom-pom. Yes. Wrong address. Hey, I have big news. A big noose? I have a big noose. What are you going to do with that? No, big noose. Okay. Guess what I got Cassie to watch last night.

First time ever. She's never seen it. Porn. He's porn. Yep. For real? Oh, yeah. No.

Okay, I was going to say that. We've talked about Cassie and I watching people shove bread in a vagina together. It's a good laugh on a Tuesday night. Hell yeah, brother. Jurassic Park. Oh, right, right, right. What'd you think? Loved it.

Yeah. Well, how could you not? It's fucking amazing. I haven't seen it in many, many, many years, but I finally got her to watch it, and I am still happy to say it. It holds up. Did it hold up for her? Yeah, she was impressed.

Especially for a 93 movie. What else was coming out around in 93 with those kind of effects? Batman. Well, when did Waterworld come out? They actually filmed it on the water though, right? Yeah. It was an effect.

It was just water. They basically built a city on the water to film on so yeah and then i also forgot how amazing when uh dennis needry is that his name the hack didn't say the magic word yeah newman when he slips and he falls down the creek they put in a comic whistle have you you ever listened to it? Oh, I don't think... It's just like a little... As he falls down the...

Are you sure it's that? It's not the Dilophosaurus? No. Are you sure? Perfect slip. Because the Dilophosaurus... He's not in the scene. Yeah.

Is that the umbrella neck dinosaur? That sprays? Yeah. Yeah. I want to look it up. Just so I can... but if people haven't known what I'm talking about. Nettis. Nettis? Nettis whistle slip.

Yeah. Like I don't, I don't, I'm not arguing that it's not in there, but the Dilophosaurus does do like a little high pitch whistle. He does. So maybe it was a little preamble or a prelude to the i mean maybe but if if it is it times up perfectly with him slipping and i've always noticed it my whole life you have it yeah let me see watch when he slips let me find the spot damn it hold on my glasses nope okay hold No way. Yeah. And I love to think that they did that.

And it's a hundred millions of dollar budget. Yeah. And Steven Spielberg is like, let's leave. Yeah. Like the sound guy put it in to be funny. Oh, check this out. He's like, you know what? One more time.

One more time on the comedy whistle. So, okay. I want to believe that it is real. But I feel like as a guy, like a ghost hunter, I'm trying to debunk this. I feel like it might be his jacket going like his arm swinging or the sound of the... Dilophosaurus. No, not the Dilophosaurus. Now that I see it, like the sound of the winch, like something slipping.

That's the banana sound effect, 100%. It does sound like the banana sound effect. Like I said, I really truly want to believe that's what it is. So we'll just go with that. Okay. Anyway, that's it. Cassie has seen none of a lot of big classics. You got lots more to watch.

I got a lot more to go down. Has she seen Independence Day and things like that? No, I doubt it. Forrest Gump? I doubt it. That whole era is just, it's out? Batman. Braveheart?

Yep, all of it. I don't know. She hates movies. That would be fun, dude. Go back through? Yeah, dude. I love that era. That's one of my favorite eras of movies ever.

Episode 96? Is that what we're doing today? I just watched... What did I watch over the weekend? Southern... We were over in Leavenworth. We were doing impressions. And we were just doing...

It turned into a southern lawyer. And so we're just walking around. Y'all know. I beg of you. And then we're going to a restaurant. And it just... So then we had to watch the... I forget what the movie is

it's the kid witnesses the murder and then he and then what's his name Jimmy Tommy Lee Jones is in there he's a southern lawyer

I don't I remember anyway I'm not drawing it up yes we got the additional content sign up for Patreon. You'll find a link. That was a waste of time.

It was not. A link in the episode description. We got a big sweaty hog today. Yeah. A girthy beast. Oh, yeah. It's just hanging there. Just veins.

Just waiting. Yeah. And ready. And waiting. It's primed. And so can I just yell at some people yeah of course of course you can you fucking assholes with your uh rock paper scissors bullshit the correct way yeah i'm getting so many i'm getting so much hate for it well that's crazy i don't i ain't

changing for nothing that was the end of it that's it i get it i see your comments i get it okay i ain't changing for nobody yeah when i was uh i was because i was down in austin watching That's it. That's all you wanted to say? I get it. I see your comments. I get it. Okay. Buying change for nobody. Yeah. When I was down in Austin watching the solar eclipse. By the way, if you've never seen a total solar eclipse of the heart, I cannot stress enough. Make it happen. I know the next one, if I remember correctly, in the United States is like in 20 years in Montana.

But we did look it up. And in Spain, in a couple years, on my birthday, there's another one. Will you be 40 then? 41. Oh. 40 fun. I thought it was like, whoa, that's going to be on your 40th. I know.

It's meant to be, man. I know. But 41 still. It's on my goddamn birthday. We got to go to Spain. So we're probably going to do it. Head on over there. I hope you do some other things in Spain other than just watch the eclipse and come back.

That sounds like someone who hasn't seen a solar eclipse. Yeah. Like a total one. You've never seen one, have you? No. Yeah. And I'm glad you went. That's what you think.

No, I... Cassie had Cassie didn't know what she was getting into she also hadn't seen Jurassic Park so I don't really want to trust that opinion

yeah like her well you can go and compare a solar a total solar eclipse to Jurassic Park and tell me where you come out yeah I saw the video

I get it fucking nuts I get it dude like I mean even if you've seen a 99% coverage it's not

trust me I've been outside when it's not, trust me, that last, I've been outside when it's dark. That last little sliver, that last little bit, it was, it was definitely, it was,

I will remember it forever. Do you feel like, very spiritual. Unless you get dementia. Yeah. Do you feel like you live in a simulation now? No. Is it the magic of space?

I think I'd go with the magic of space. No, I, all right. But I imagine, just a shadow, like civilizations back in the day, trying to figure that one out. Oh, yeah.

Fucking no way. God for sure. Picture sun gods. They're like, the sun's out. And then when it's supposed to be out, it's just... Well, that was... There's a whole thing. Like there was a big war going.

I forget the war. There was a treaty that happened because of a solar eclipse. Is it with the fire nation i get it no but imagine being in a spot where you're off of the path of totality right and then you have a civilization that was on the path and then they're trying to tell the other ones what happened they're like yeah right yeah right okay come on so it just went dark yeah that sounds no anyway it was crazy you had to be there get your spear there's no i don't believe you fucking liar just pick up your spear let's go let's go let's just kill each

other over this this is crazy uh do you want you put an email in here someone yelling at you do you want to read it before we get into the show yeah uh my name is brian with an i um it says with that the only correct way to spell brian is with an i this is my first time posting the comments of a podcast, and I just want to mention that the Helen Keller or Stephen Hawking's battle was great. I remember that one. I was talking to my son about the episode since Stephen Hawking was mentioned in Young Sheldon. So I explained to him the would you rather before bedtime.

He said he would pick Stephen Hawking. I keep saying Hawkins, but it's Hawking. Because Brian, this fucking guy that spells it with an I, is writing it wrong. I would pick Stephen Hawking and figure out a way with spikes to slow down the chair by deflating the tires. This would help defeat him. I love you guys. Can you give my son a shout out if this goes on the show? His name is Tyler.

Thanks. Bye. And so I just want, like, I love Tyler the way he thought about it. Like, he's just like, he's thinking logically about it. Like, yeah, I could do all this stuff. He's like, what? Why don't you throw some spikes out? I feel like I'd have a hard, if Stephen Hawking is trying to chase you down and run you over,

what do we pick? 25 or 35 miles an hour? Something like that like that one thing like now you're defending yourself if you slow him down and now you're just beating the shit out of him in a wheelchair i feel like i'd have a hard time with that do what you got to do man don't hit ow ow ouch ouch you punch like a pussy hit me harder puss a little bit whips it around he's hitting hitting himself. He's like, stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself.

Ha ha ha ha. But that'd be hard to just beat up a bunch of just stationary Stephen Hawking's. See, I love the idea of these. I do these would-you-rathers with my kids. Their takes on it are funny. Did you do the dead body one? No.

Explain. You're like, I didn't know it was legal either. Crazy. You didn't know either. My six-year-old will see his take on necrophilia. See where he stands on fucking dead bodies. Get a read on this. He would bounce on, he would jump on a dead body. Fun.

Hop on pop. All right, you ready to get the show going? Yeah. Okay. Zip! Hey, shut up. It's not the show already. Okay.

What do we got here? What are we doing here? What do we have here? This is a combo between Curtis and myself. No, not you. He spells it with a Y. That is funny. We got a Brian with an I and a Brian with a Y.

All right. This is a merging of their ideas. So would you rather have to be on a call once a day to deliver a baby? Be on call, but on a call. I mean, if you could just phone this one in. All right, push. Are you pushing? Doesn't sound like you're pushing, Debra.

Yeah, you're breaking up a little bit there. Sorry, I'm in a dead zone. Would you rather have to be on call once a day to deliver a baby, doesn't matter what time of day, or have the ability to run through walls 50% of the time so you just never know? No. Oh, man. That'd be a funny, like a little party trick. So, like, you would just, you would go, you wouldn't run through it like you can break through it with, you would just go, like, invisibly through it, right?

I picture you just get to vanish through a wall. Yeah. Yeah. And then if you don't, you're smacking the fucking wall. Yeah, the ability, it doesn't say superpower, it says the ability to, yeah! Like, you just, it just depends on how drunk you are. I don't love the odds. Yeah. 50% is not great.

Like trying to get out of a tricky situation. Yeah. But 50% of the time, so you can just keep running into the same wall until you go through it, which I think is pretty cool. You can. You'd be pretty beat up, though. Yeah. How hard do you have to run?

Is it a full-on sprint? I think you have like to make it worthwhile For this to even have any meaning I feel like you have to charge through it. Hmm So you otherwise you get to slowly step through it. Yeah, I mean, I guess I that'd be not running But I mean because there's a difference between Full-blown sprint and going for a run. Let's sayry potter let's say it's a hundred meter dash hundred meter dash fuck that sucks yeah and then i get concerned with going through a wall what's on the other side of the wall yeah but if you know what's through the wall then then what's i mean how often you're using the superpower you're going to check the mail and you're like i'll just go through the wall no let's say you're say you locked yourself out of your house or apartment or something.

You're like, fuck, my keys are inside, and I'm late for work. Imagine that. You're just running into the wall. Smack. Your neighbor's across the street, like, picking up the newspaper. It's like, what the fuck is... Dude, what is Steve doing? Watch it, because you know when you...

He just disappeared. You flip a coin, and sometimes you get tails 20 times in a row. And it could be one of those days for you going through a wall. And the guy's just like, Jesus Christ, we gotta move. He's just standing there with his cup of coffee and a rolled up paper. Oh, man. This guy's a fucking... So, I mean, you call the HOA on this fucking guy.

This guy's crazy. Doesn't he have kids? Man. You know what would be really nuts is by the time, let's say it happens four or five times in a row i mean you're having to like drag yourself back far enough to run i know i can do it yeah this is the time i don't know why i picture jim carrey as the character running into this wall oh yeah yeah just getting through it do you mind i'm kicking my own ass uh reverse those yeah you get the idea being on call have to deliver a baby you would eventually get used to delivering babies but for a long time you would have no idea what you're doing

have did you watch any of your either of your sons be born yeah i held a leg like straight on out watching it come right out of the shoot there were three there were three people let's see my wife was sitting i had a leg and the uh the midwife had the other leg and i think there was one lady maybe roaming around so yeah i was right there watching his head come out and no problem it was your kid so that's different yeah and your wife's vagina i thought it was gonna be someone else's kid i was just hoping he was black yeah so you're like come on come on and then he came out just well the first one came out like you well the first one came out dark like amber

and then i was like okay so this i think this is mine i think this is mine and then the other one was like just crazy white and i was like god one one for two and even like when his face came out i was like he even looks like me that's weird god damn it looks like that's what i look like oh no that's what amber sees when i'm going down yeah like this picture that like oh my god imagine your baby coming out like this. It looks up at your mommy, and you see your, like, your husband's face, but in a baby form, down at your vagina.

Yeah. Good luck recovering from that one. But, yeah, on call, delivering a baby... Don't get old, though. Like, you couldn't do anything. Well... Yeah. I mean... Are you on call for any... Let's say you go to Copenhagen. Yeah, does it have to be anywhere?

It has to be within reason. Like, you're not going to get a call living in Spokane to go deliver a baby in Indiana. Yeah. I don't think. Hop on a plane to fly to Indiana. Yeah. What happens if you say, fuck it, and I don't want to deliver a baby today? You die.

You die. Yeah, you got to live with the fact that you weren't there to help somebody deliver a baby I could live with that No, these things have to have some real repercussions You have to go deliver this baby There's no other choice It could be at 12.15 in the morning It could be at 11.58 at night

Anytime in the day you gotta deliver the baby Like the SWAT team Comes to where you're at And they drag your ass from where you're at And take you to the hospital To gotta deliver the baby uh like the SWAT team comes to where you're at and they drag your ass from where you're at and take you to the hospital to go deliver a baby yeah like you have we can do this the easy way or the hard way let's try the hard way i've been doing the easy way for fucking a little bit 30 years you guys start shooting you with fucking fucking uh rubber bullets rubber bullets and fine fuck i'll go deliver a baby you guys are crazy you guys realize how

crazy this looks you guys are shooting a doctor you're not a doctor brian after kind of but just i mean yeah after a while the people have to start calling you doc would have to always be sometimes you go to homes you have to learn how to do like water births underwater baby pool births you got to do that you might get called into a warehouse go deliver a baby right or is it always in a perfect sanitary hospital i feel like i could totally do i feel like i could totally do that go deliver babies i really don't have an issue with that it's not even the baby it's just having to be somewhere i think yeah because the baby dinner could be interrupted golf could be somewhere, I think. Dinner could be interrupted. Golf could be interrupted.

Let's say you don't have to be there for the full labor. It's like, nope, this baby's coming out. You get called. You got to go over there. You get the baby out. You slap it on the ass. You know? They still do that?

I don't know. Well, they... Still slapping babies on the butt? If it's not crying, they got to get it to cry. Okay. I can think of worse things, they gotta get it to cry. Okay. I can think of worse things to do to get it to cry. Slapping the butt's not so bad? Welcome to the world?

Yeah. Twist their fingers? He's a lunatic doctor? It's like pinching their nipples. Yeah, biting their toes. Like, what are you doing? You get bored, you come up with some new what are you doing? Yeah, you get bored. You come up with some new things.

I wouldn't have a problem with that. I think I would have to pick being on call to deliver a baby. And that just seems less painful than, I don't know how often I would have to. I've never, I'm 38 years old and I have never had to run through a wall for any reason. So I'm just going to deliver babies. Imagine combining those two. Yeah, run through a wall to save a baby?

Deliver a baby, you just appear through a wall, push! And they're like, what the fuck is this? And then on the way out you slam into the wall and can't get out. And they're like, hold on, 50% of the time i think it's just disappear don't people say that like oh man i i do i'd run through a wall for you there's not a thing it's a thing you know but i guess i haven't had to so i don't think that there's any super

awesome situation in my life we're getting through a fucking wall it's gonna be oh going to a bank you could rob a bank just go right through the vault 50 of the time you get in there you get stuck yeah only for 50 of the time i mean if you if you if prison was on the line i think you could mustard up enough runs to finally get back through the vault wall well let's let's assume the vault's not big enough for you to get up to speed because i feel like as fast you can no i feel like what if you get in there and the fucking vault's smaller? How many steps do you need? It's like the DeLorean. You gotta get up to 88.

It's exactly what I was gonna say. I feel like there has to be not like a quick acceleration lunge. You have to run. If you put a starting block on this side of the studio by the time I hit that wall, I could be going pretty good. Three steps of pushing off into that wall.

I feel like that, but it's got to be a run, not a acceleration. Like, you're running. So, the scenario I was thinking was, let's say you run through the wall to get into the safe, but then you can't get up to speed to get out, so you're just stuck in there. I was picturing this guy, I got the security cam footage. They're like, you need to check this out, boss. They're looking at it, and they just see you coming down the sidewalk, just like,

and then you, it works the first time, and then it cuts to the inside of the lobby, and then it gets, fuck! Well, if you can't get fast enough, you just keep hitting the wall yeah just bound well yeah you fucking knock yourself out i think that that's to me that's funner it's like you got to get up to a certain speed and then you just not use the i guess just not deliver babies but

having just the ability to run through the wall if i don't have to use it i guess i'd pick that but imagine saying like you know baby i i do i'd run through a wall for you. And then you just run and go through the wall and then come back to the door and be like. And if you don't. Either way, you look good. No, because like. Or you look really stupid. Yeah. But it's like you.

Am I going to marry this bitch? You threw yourself at that wall for her. Yeah. I have to marry this fucking guy? This fucking. One more time. Guy's willing to run into a wall? I don't know if that's...

It's not as romantic as you think it is. I'm not sure if that's good for the kids to see. No. I don't like that. But it's just the ability to run through the wall 50% of the time. I mean, that's just like an optional superpower. Or if it was different, it said you have to run through a wall every day. Only 50% of the time you make it.

That changes things. I might pick that over delivering a baby. But the way that this is worded, I'm picking a baby. Sound good? Yeah. I just hate obligations of being somewhere. So the idea that I never know if I'm going to have to be somewhere, you know what I mean? Yeah.

I pick that over fracturing my collarbone or shoulder every fucking day. It's a lot of pain. It doesn't work out for you. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Broken arm running into a wall every day. Broken face. Got to learn how to fall.

Ten days in a row of sprinting into walls and just hoping it worked out. All right. I'm picking baby. What are you picking? I'll probably go with that, too. Okay injury i'm gonna go with wall well yeah i'm not responsible for anyone nice all right let's move off to what are you thinking about you ready all right brian do it what hey hey what's up babe what are you thinking about uh you know nothing actually you know what i'm thinking about a lot of shit what are you thinking about

what are you thinking about i'm sick of yelling at zach i want to yell what? I'm thinking about a lot of shit. What are you thinking about? What are you thinking about? I'm sick of yelling at Zach. I want to yell at you. I'm thinking about your t-shirts. They're sweet. Yeah, thank you. I'm wearing one of Cassie's shirts.

It says, Daddy Issues Made Me Do It. What's the story? I don't know. She said she... Is it a shmedium? Oh, this? It's super shmedium. I had to stretch it out. I think this is a small...

And it looks like some of the shirts i wear so that sucks it looks like something i should cut up and put on a card that's what you're doing yeah well so we're wearing cards cards yeah we're wearing these shirts and then uh what the fuck was that uh and then zach's taking them cutting them up and selling them that's right we're gonna get you guys some candy dome cards and there'll be some special chase cards like what gold rookies a freeze frame next to it like see this was shirt actually was worn it's podcast game worn that's awesome and those will be on scatcast.com yep they're gonna come out in june oh soon soon super fun soon as fuck oh boy sorry about whoever gets the armpit on this your medium i don't know if we'll cut the armpits just for that.

For that reason? Yeah, for that. Here's the white with yellow. All right. Nice. Well, we'll talk more about the card, can you don't shirts. As it comes out. As we get a little closer. Yeah.

That's awesome, man. Excited to see them. Me too. All right, Brian. So what happened? You shared just a little sliver of your life with me. I'm sorry to interrupt again. Would you plug in your computer?

No, don't you dare. I to interrupt again. Don't you dare. I'm very sorry. Don't you dare. Brian, would you plug in your computer? It'd be a dear. God damn it, Brian. Sure not. It's the HDMI.

It just wasn't all the way in. Thank you. Get it in there. Okay, so what were you thinking about this week? So I was on a little friend's trip in Leavenworth, Washington. Oh yeah. Beautiful! Downtown Shrek Town. Little Bavaria.

Did you ride the mountain coaster? No, we looked at it and thought about it, but it's like you gotta reserve it a day ahead. It wasn't in the cards. Cards, cards, cards. So, we'll do it another time. But anyway, cards, cards. Cards, cards. So, we'll do it another time.

Okay. But anyway, one of the guys was there. He got sick, and then everybody got fucking sick. So, when I got home... Like food stuff? Food poisoning? No, it was... I don't know.

It was just a bug, because we all got it. Okay. So, I got home Monday, or Sunday. That night, started puking anding and like pissing out your ass, diarrhea type stuff, you know, just like it's just right out of your butt, which I tend to, and you know, you don't love it at the time, but it's like, ah, now I feel nice and cleared out. But the problem is, is when you're still in that phase, like you don't know if how if a fart is a fart or not

you never do yeah you just you you don't know and for someone who likes to fart like when you got one it's like you want to you want to experiment a little bit like what can i make this one do what were you doing you were tuning we're talking about tuning them or you had some fart trick oh yeah you said you can do one of them i said like I can have it squeak out and then squeeze my butt cheeks so it'll go whoop. And it'll make like a little. When it just a little. And I can feel it snap against my butt cheeks too. Yeah.

Like a little. It's like a whip. Crack. Like a crack of a whip. That's funny. Anyway, so we're not talking about that this time, though. Not talking about my talents. Enough about me.

Enough about me and all my talents. My amazing fucking, my ass play. My archive of talents. That's right. Bottomless pit. So I was done puking, and then I think this was two days later. So I was still kind of like diarrhea. But one morning I woke up and we were going to get the kids ready for school.

She was doing her thing. The kids were getting up and I was like kind of like waking up and I was getting ready to get out of bed. And I had felt like what I thought was by now probably a fart. So I pushed it out and it was like a pop smack right into like it was just a shit. Like a smack of shit into my underwear. And I was like, oh, crap. Oh, nice. Oh, that was not a fart. And so I'm like, oh, shit.

I got to get out of bed here. So I crawl out of bed and then then I can feel it in my underwear. I'm kind of doing like a waddle walk to the bathroom. Pull the underwear down to sit and poop. And it spills out onto the rug. It's all in my pants, which I have to basically dispose of. It was only like two months ago where You had pictures of shit on the floor. Yeah. This was a little bit worse.

It sounds like it. Upgraded. Well, the other one I was... I put myself walking into the house. I couldn't stop. This one was... I thought it was a fart. It's crazy when you get sick and your O-ring is like, I'm not doing that. I'm not going to do what I've always done.

I'm taking the time off. So that... Then, I was like, I'm taking the time off. Yeah. So that, like, then my wife's like, hey, can you get the kids breakfast ready? I'm like, I just need a fucking minute here. And so I'm in there, like, spraying my ass with the bidet. I'm wiping down the rug that's got shit on it. I'm trying to, like, wrap my underwear up so I can throw them away. And for some reason i don't know why the toilet clogged so it rose up so like and so she's she's like can you get that

kids eat breakfast i'm like i just and it was kind of like no i couldn't it was right at the the top so you can't like plunge like you want you're kind of like doing a soft because you don't want to create a wake like a tsunami of shit coming over the top. It's a no-wake zone. It is. It is a no-wake zone. So, get that taken care of, and then get out. And then I come out of the kitchen, and I'm like, whew, talking to my wife.

Wow, man. And she's like, you didn't get in the bed, did you? I was like, oh, actually, I don't know. So, I walk back in there. Oh, yeah, there's a spot on the bed, and my dog's licking it. So I have to get some rags and spray that down and wipe it. And this is like we're just trying to get the kids ready for school. She's getting ready for work.

She's getting all three kids ready for the day. And herself, because she's got to go to work. So this is all happening. And then so I wipe down the thing. It's the best I could do. It's the best it's going to be for now. So then she finds herself in there taking the duvet cover off

of the thing and she's like clearing the bed. But she left the sheet. I was like, I'll take care of the sheet. And then I didn't take care of the sheet when she was the sheet she's i was like i'll take care of the sheet and then i didn't take care of the sheet when she was gone because i forgot and then uh so when she got home i was like oh my god i haven't done the sheet yet so we take it off and go throw it isn't amazing how fast you remember when they get back home oh fuck oh yeah i did shit the bed yeah i did do that all day you're like i don't never shit the bed yeah Yeah, I did do that. All day you were like, I never shit the bed.

Yeah. That was weird. So, she... Oh, defrost the meat! The second the car pulls in. But the other eight hours, you couldn't even... Not even a tiny thought of defrost the meat. The dishes are out.

The meat's still frozen and there's still shit on the sheets. The defrosted meat is in the bed with the shit. And you're like, instructions unclear. Fuck. You gotta make this more clear for me. I need a list to check off. Have you met me? So, we get the sheets in there

and washed and then in the dryer and then like, we put the you know, now by this time we're getting the kids ready for bed. So it's been a full day. So, getting the sheets back on all this kind of stuff and things have calmed down. Like she's not mad at me anymore. And so in my,

I'm like feeling better. So what does the guy like, well, it doesn't matter if we're on our deathbed or thing. Like we're, we want to jizz. So yeah. Oh yeah.

So I, uh, so as kids get in bed and then she's come back down she's like folding some laundry and i'm like you know you know kind of you know what's going on how you doing type of thing where'd you learn how to fold a fitted sheet yeah i like to fold your sheet she's like what i don't even know what that means. You're about to find out. What's funny is Remember when I sheet the bed? Those three sheets to the wind. I put it out in the wind just to air it out.

I hadn't seen the family in like four days. When I got home, I was like, we're all excited to see each other. We even hugged like, yeah, tonight. You're going to get it tonight. But then I got sick. I was like, you know, we're all excited to see each other. We even hugged, like, yeah, tonight, you're going to get it tonight. But then I got sick. So then a few days had passed. It was all week.

So it's on now. Like, remember how we were going to make this happen, but then I got sick and all that? And so I kind of given her the, like, eh, what do you think about that? And she goes, I don't think so. Not tonight. I'm like, I don't think so. Not tonight. I'm like, why? And she goes, you, you just, you remember you just shit in the bed that where you want to do this. And I was like, yeah, I'll do it again. Yeah. I was like, but then we washed the sheets and she's like, no, I washed the sheets because you forgot to take them off the bed.

So like, as what's all this to say, it's funny as a guy like i just want to come that's all i will do and she's in but in her mind she's like i like i don't find you sexy you shit in our bed this this morning and now you want to just you want to you want to have your way with me in the bed where you shit like brush that aside yeah like the dog was licking it uh you you had to throw away underwear that like you put in the target bag in the trash can and then you are hanging up a a rug that's still hanging over the balcony that has shit on it and you you just want to go at it right here yeah i'm like yeah i know? I know you're just as horny as I am. So are you.

Are you saying you're turned on? So, wow. I know how crazy horny you are right now. I mean, you need to dial it back. You're way too horny. Dude, you're making me horny. I'm doing you a favor because you are so horny. I'm trying to take care of you, baby.

Take care of you. I mean, I could do without it. I don't even care about coming. But you, man. See, women. horny i'm trying to take care of you baby take care of you i mean i could do without it like i don't even care about coming but you man see women i can't imagine seeing that much shit and not being horny i i know this isn't gonna be all women but i just like i picture and i i guess i get it like let's say we're in the bed just going at it and then she like rolls over oh yeah and then sees that like where the spot and then like the wh whiff of maybe there's still some poop on there. And I could see how that could be a turn off.

The dog's still licking its lips. Yeah. Because, of course, she's got to be in the bed with us or she'll be barking and shit. So I would see that and be like, whatever. But she's like, there was poop there a little bit ago. She just throws the whole game off yeah i know it's different a huge difference between men and women it not again not all but it seems like a lot where like men will have like a ton of things on their mind and they're like you know what i could do about it i could come about

it like that's what i could do that clear my head then i can then i'll tackle the list yeah and women are like like got to get all this stuff taken care of and out of my head and then i'm ready to come yeah and it's just completely flip-flopped between the two it's like oh my god i'm so stressed out i'm gonna fucking come yep women are like i'm so stressed out the last thing i want to do right now is come yeah and that's just uh that's the devil that's the devil's uh it's a play on humanity it's a freaking fun prank yeah just completely flip those two things make life as busy as possible everyone like trying to play the game and keep everybody moving and everyone's fed and happy and the million different things you got to do every day and just make one of us be like i could have some sex about it the other one's like i'm not having sex so this is all taken care of and he

just watched those two clash for eternity and just talking about it maybe you want to come throw some kids in there and throw some like after school activities yeah school dinner the idea that the the fact that you actually get it on is like, it's a friggin' miracle. And the fact that you even want to is even a bigger turn off. Like, how could you want to do that right now? You have so much to do. It's like, it's when I want to do it. Honestly.

That's when I want to do it. I want to fucking, come on. Because I've been thinking about it all day. He's like, oh, one last thing to do. Clean up cum off my tits. You're like, I'll do it. Yeah. That's one thing I'll help with.

I'm not going to fucking take the shit sheets off the bed that I shit in. But I will help clean my cum off my tits you're like i'll do it yeah that's one thing i'll help with i'm not gonna fucking take the shit sheets off the bed that i shit in but i will help clean the sheets are already dirty so let's just use that let's just come on the shit bed and then i'll clean the sheets so the one another time uh so our son puked in the bed and it was a mill it's like three o'clock in the morning and she was gonna take the sheets off to go wash i'm like i realize you want to do that but we just want to go back to sleep and he's sick let's just go back to sleep so i was like they'll probably throw up again just yeah so i just went and got like a big bath towel and and threw it on their thing classic and then what she did make the comment she's like uh something about i'm glad you didn't just throw a towel over the shit. Yeah, yeah.

Throw some sawdust down. Yeah. A little kitty litter. You sprinkle it over your shit bed. That'll do it. Kick it around a little bit. She lays down. She goes, is there sand in the bed?

Yep. No, but it's, I mean, it's medium grade kitty litter. I didn't get the really nice kind, but anyway, you hot, you hot horny, you as horny as I am. I get so turned on when i'm laying on sand just imagine you're on the beach with a with a cocktail and the waves crashing with with two cocks one cocktail yeah and me yeah one cock minus the tail all right we can try oh my god ow you're shoving kitty kitty litters all over your dick we got sand in your vagina no it's kitty litter it's kitty litter you fucking psycho please just come and go to bed okay i will well yeah i haven't i haven't pooped the bed in a bit zach no no really shit the bed on that i've been i've been close i had ecoli and i had the same

exact experience where the o-ring didn't work. That sucked. Where you're puking and shitting at the same time. Yep. And you don't trust farts at all. Nope. Had that with food poisoning, where I was on the toilet. I was shitting in the toilet and throwing up in the bathtub at the same time.

Just black. Just evac bubbles. You feel like you're winning really good in life when you do that. Yeah. It feels so good. Like, oh, boy, can this go on forever i love it and you just like the smell of the shit it's like if i didn't have to puke before i do now yeah just throw up on your shit bed oh man oh god i'm so horny right now but it's like it's just guys are just it doesn't matter it just you're ready to go whenever like i know. Like, you can be really, really

sick, and then the next day, if you're like, still really sick. You're looking for a dopamine drip, like trying to make yourself feel better. It's like, yeah, yesterday, like, I didn't feel like it because I really was sick. I'm still really sick, but that's on the table. But I didn't feel like it yesterday, so I better

do it today. Yeah. I mean, sex is still on the table. Always. I don't want to have, well, you know, they're, you know, what's going on,

you know. Doesn't have to be sexy. Should we move off to some dick? Yeah. All right, let's fucking do it. Zick!

Is it dumb? Is it interesting? Is it cool? Then it's dick. Dick. Okay, Brian, what's up?

Okay. What's up? Okay. What? This is like the biggest dick of all right here. Oh, yeah. This is big. Are you looking? He's looking at me with this fucking shirt on. It's kind of sticking up over your pants there.

Daddy issues made me do it. Right there. Yeah, me too. Hey, you guys are fucking. Put that away. You guys are like in, yeah. That's it. Put that away. You guys like a show 96? That's illegal in Wyoming. Okay.

That's sexy, though. You know what you look like right now? What? You look like... Me wearing a tiny shirt? No, like... Medium. Medium.

You just look like a way bulkier version of Freddie Mercury. I do? Nice, dude. That's fucking dude you know what i mean like freddie mercury's white t-shirt tucked into his jeans yeah and and fingerless gloves like that's what you look like freddie the ginge that that's a compliment oh it is yeah nice dude thank you freddie was a good looking guy yeah i had a i had a comment that wasn't gonna sit well so i'm just gonna tuck it away what's going on with dick hmm something about aids he sure was i picture you just being like you like freddie mercury if he didn't have aids

like that's what you're like no thanks oh yeah i mean that's true oh wow because he got real skinny yeah he disappeared he just into a little stick. Turned everything, he turned it into a microphone stand. Okay, what do you got? Alright, so this was sent in by our son Richard. Speaking of dick. Yeah. Yeah. So, originally it was just like, he was like, I think you guys might find this appealing. And it was just a blog about this fucking

water slide okay and it's it's this thing i didn't i may have known this place existed i think it was back in the 70s oh action park yes it's a rise and fall of action park new jersey's most dangerous water park god this place was a shit show i didn't i didn't there was a a documentary about action park on probably Netflix or something. I don't remember if I, if I watched it or not, but I'm excited to revisit this place because God damn, I would have gone. I, if I, if there is, maybe there's something on YouTube. I don't know.

Have you heard of action park, Zach? No. Oh God, this is going to be good. So it was a water park from, from way back. Just from the looking at the picture, that doesn't look like something you should let your chitron go on. Yeah, can you pull that up real quick for anybody that's watching? So it looks like, okay, so you know, like, speaking of Leavenworth, like Little Bavaria, those guys on top of the hill are like,

but it's instead of having an opening for a horn, it's a loop-de-loop, completely covered loop-de-loop tubed water slide. Yeah. It's just pitch black. It looks like you could barely lay it out in that. Yeah. And it's designed because you're doing a fucking loop. And if you fall out of the loop, they want as little space as possible for you to fall to the other side of the tube. Yeah.

It looked like the straws that some parents got you that loved you. Yeah, like a silly straw. It's a little twisty. Yeah, a little twisty, silly straw guy. Yeah. Mama loves me. It looks... But as a slide, it looks fucking dangerous.

Yeah, it looks like you shouldn't have built it. And I see a ski lift in the background at a water park. Also, it doesn't seem like a good sign. No. Okay. Okay, so then, that's not just it. Okay. So this place opened uh in new jersey 1978 it's one of the first modern water parks united states um god i just see the

picture it's one okay this is another example of the park i don't know if you can see the image here it's like a it's a concrete fucking slide it's like a bo here. It's like a concrete fucking slide. It's like a bobsled. It's like a bobsled, but it's concrete, and it looks terrifying. It looks like you're sending three-year-olds down a bobsled course on basically little tiny sit-down scooters. Yeah. It's a go-kart, but it's driven by gravity. And children. And children are on it

and you control how fast you go and everything yeah it's like but the brakes so it says in here somewhere it's like uh so extreme example the uh the alpine slide which has been described by an old action park railers essentially a giant track to rip up people's skin rip people's skin off that was disguised as a kid's ride. That is beautiful. The slide featured a long cement and fiberglass-filled track that visitors rode down in a wheeled device. First park goers would take a ski lift to the summit, where they were greeted by photographs

of injured children accompanied by a warning for riders to keep their arms inside the device. In theory, each rider was in charge of their own speed and their own life, but the devices were almost always broken. Some had no brakes, which meant there was no slowing down as they would zoom down this concrete slide. Others had the brakes

lock on, causing the rider to crawl down the slide. So they'd just get stuck and they'd have to climb. Inevitably being hit in the back by another speedier rider. So you would get off this thing, walk down the slide, and then just get absolutely fucking drilled by someone going really fast. They have these at Mount Baker. I saw that in the flesh.

Yeah, and I was talking to when Zach was like, I was in Leavenworth, they have a mountain coaster, but the technology on the mountain coaster in Leavenworth it actually exists. It only lets you through certain zones if the zone in front of you is cleared. But you can control how fast you go to

a degree. This one, it's just like a free-for-all. Are you tall enough? Picturing Ezra and Pepper, pepper there is huge kids pepper could go and go karts with me when she was two because she was tall enough to get it so just picturing pepper getting her own cart on the alpine slide alpine yeah alpine slide at fucking two because she was tall enough yeah he's been like this is the break a two-year break. This is the break and then you control how fast you go and she goes, okay.

And then he goes, just kick her down the slide. Have fun, don't die. Remember, keep your arms inside the device. And I just picture the guy up at the top, he's smoking a cigarette. He's looking down, he's like, alright, go ahead. Go ahead. Go a little bit slow though because you've got a two-year-old in front of you.

You know two-year-olds. You know how stupid they are. A bunch of pussies are such dweebs. There's no way she's going to go fast enough. This is how things used to be. Okay, so the park saw its first fatality on the alpine slide when a 19-year-old rode off the track and hit his head. Weird. According to New Jersey records, there were at least 26 other serious head injuries and 14 fractures attributed to the alpine slide. And there he's kept it rolling.

Who's insuring this place? Should we put up banisters? No. You're good. No. Should we close this one? No. That's the thrill of it.

That's why people like it. That's why it's called action park they might die they know why they're here okay love it one of the park's most notable attractions was the tidal wave pool one of the first to open in the united states which quickly became one of the most dangerous rides at the park nicknamed the grave pool it was filled with fresh water not seawater which made patrons less buoyant and left strong swimmers and non-swimmers alike literally in over their heads as waves that could reach 40 inches at high blast. The 12 lifeguards on duty rescued on average 30 people a day on high traffic weekends. Oh, my God.

But the most infamous of the rides at Action Park was the Cannonball Loop, an enclosed water slide with a complete vertical loop. According to one urban legend, when the park owner sent a dummy doll on a test run of the ride, it came back with no head. Gene Mulville offered his employees $100 to test out new rides, including the Cannonball Loop. And despite employees winding up with bloody noses and bruises, he opened the ride. One person even remembers hearing that a patron got stuck at the top of the loop, causing the park to build a hatch to aid in future rescues. Instead of not getting rid of it, like, oh, let's put a hatch here.

I knew we should have put a hatch at the top of the loop. God, how'd I miss it? Just a month after it opened, causing the park to build a hatch and aid in future rescues. Just a month after it opened, after countless injuries were reported, it was shut down by the advisory board on Carnival Amusement Ride Safety. It says in here, this quote,

son admits they never quite perfected that one. Yeah, Mobile's son. He's like, oh man man but he remains proud of his father for taking a risk with the ride in the first place my father if he could find a guy with a crazy idea for a ride he'd hire the guy even if never been built before like this this could kill people but we've never seen but you'll build it right and he's like you're gonna pay me right yeah yeah and we'll just give people money to try it out he goes yeah that's business of course i'll try and build a loop slide i have no idea what i'm doing we could give me ten thousand dollars who doesn't love a loop yeah i mean i love loops and i love taking your money to build one do you like loops yeah i do i do i like loops too hired build it yeah so uh anyway i just thought that that it's so funny like when we think about

oh my god like the 60s and 70s 50s 60s 70s i feel like that was like the the usher in like maybe the modern age of entertainment right but they were those people were like the first ones to really try shit out and then they realize like like not putting seatbelts in cars or like put letting kids sit in the back of a fucking um what's the wagon car the uh station station wagon yeah and like facing the other way and those seatbelts they're just like it'll be all right it should be fine this is gonna be great so thanks out to all of you that had to Endure all that for us to have Safety regulations This paragraph

Action Park was finally closed back in 1996 By then the park was responsible For six fatalities Including three drownings in the tidal wave pool And the death of a 27 year old man Who was electrocuted on the kayak experience When his boat tipped over And he came

in contact with the water that had a loose wire touching it awesome whoops just a slight oversee or a slight oversight fucking jeff didn't tuck the wires in oh my god i mean imagine hitting the kayak experience and you tip over, you're upside down. Where's the loose wire? What the fuck? How's the machine still running when a loose wire is just lighting up the pool that you're going to fall into? Oh, fuck me, man. I mean, it's funny.

When you go to an amusement park, obviously, they're always dangerous. And every once in a while, you hear about someone... Well, they that dangerous dying on a roller coaster well that's what i'm saying like the the amount of the thousands millions of people that go on rides and that don't die and then someone will fly off and die um but like to think how safe things are now and the idea that people were just being electrocuted or being decapitated or it's like it's fucking crazy like old old school toys back in the 50s they'd just give you uranium to fuck around with here's some glass shards yeah they get used to have like plutonium to fucking see if it could build your own bomb and kids like this is fucking sweet

when nuclear was all the rage it reminds me of that rat or that uh mousetrap that we showed months and months ago now they had an actual gun that would just shoot the mouse in the head when it went to go get the cheese and they're just like oh there's gotta be a little safer way probably i mean yes it is effective it is effective but we could also not have a gun attached to it. It's just so loud. Yeah. We want to send a sign to all the mice who are thinking.

In the last one, it says, 2010, Mullville led a committee to buy the park back. It reopened in 2014 with the new name Mountain Creek Water Park. And now advertises its trained lifeguard staff, which it feels like you should have done that the first time around right be like no no these aren't just normal run-of-the-mill lifeguards these ones are trained and they're stringent up to standard safety features yeah man just things you but for a generation of kids from the tri-state area, nothing will replace the dangerous thrills of a hot summer day at Action Park.

Yeah, the fear of dying is what kept that place alive. So here, and I know there are people, maybe people listening to this. If not, there are people out there who, you know how they are. They're just like, well, I don't see that problem. Rides back in my day, rides used to be fun and dangerous. It's like, dude, come on. Just because you were born and you made it through doesn't mean that kids are pussies now because they have a seatbelt. Or it's because they don't expect to die hitting the kayak experience and getting electrocuted to death. I want to go to a theme park. Well, he fell over. He don't expect to die hitting the kayak experience. Yeah. And get electrocuted to death.

I want to go to a theme park. Well, he fell over. He shouldn't have fell over in the kayak experience. I love the idea that I can go to a theme park and I may not make it home. Like, there's some, like, no, dude, I want to go. I want my family to go and I want us to ride home and talk about our experience in the car, not leave with four of us instead of five because someone got decapitated. Got their whole face ripped off

in a loop slide yeah imagine packing for like a fun family day at action park and you're just like all right everyone about ready to go you're like yeah dad everyone fill out their living will he's butting up his flannel is uh he's putting sunscreen on his nose on their way out. He's like, did you fill out your living will? Yes, Dad. All right, good boy. Have fun. Or did you fill out your living will? Okay.

And you're giving sister your Pokemons, right? Right. We promised. You did it. Well, you've got to do it in the car. You can't go in until it's done. You filled out half of it last week. Right.

What if something happened at Action Park? We wouldn't want to do it with your body. I know, Dad. I'm sorry. I said i'm sorry okay it's all filled out yep okay i remember when i remember when i was a kid man i knew my will was was filled out before i was 13 kids these days they don't even have a will no you gotta get it filled out ready to go weak shit fucking pussy kids now don't have a will

uh okay let's move off to our next story we We've got a lot of dick to get through. Which one do you want to do? I'm going to grab this one because it is funny. And I always love when things are not supposed to be on a live news broadcast. Find their way into a live news broadcast. So, as you can imagine, this news station was just kind of showing stuff from the eclipse. They were showing clips, and I'm guessing whoever loaded these clips in didn't take a full look at what they were putting in there.

And as we get to a certain part of this, they're just showing off the Corona. They're taking it in. Looks great. Okay, there we go cut into the next clip and here's the sun and here comes some hairy balls the woman on the left she goes she gasps she's like oh no god she goes oh no my job i love how you can see you can see like you know when something's dark and you shine light like you could see the leg the leg hair was so visible yeah i was like looking at like a spider leg like it's just like all the little

fuzzies coming off and they blurred the the nutsack in this video but just to know someone just was like typed in like solar eclipse videos and was like i don't know just started loading them in to show on the live broadcast and one of them was fucking nutsacks being being dipped over the sun i want to i want to meet the guy that did that that's fucking found his way on there uh it has nothing to do with nutsacks but it did make my nuts tighten up a little bit i want to share you uh share your little story here okay uh about for whatever reason i'm sure for months to come you'll be hearing me drop in little stories about this trip for whatever reason the first like 48 hours on the way to houston so many funny things

happen that i don't even know why they happen, but they happen. Because it's you. You always get fun stuff. Yeah, well, I mean, some of them are self-induced. I've told you about one of them. But I'm not going to talk about that one right now. But when we got into Austin to see the solar eclipse, we had to take a red eye from Seattle. So we tried to get on an earlier one.

We were flying standby, and we barely missed it. We needed one more fucking person to get in a car accident or something so we could get on the airplane. And it didn't happen. So we didn't get that flight. So we had the rest of the day in Seattle messed around and then went to get on the 11.45 flight.

Right? So we're landing in Austin with the time changes and shit like around five o'clock in the morning um i know so we get on we fly down there and we arrive we land we get in an uber my brother doesn't live like downtown austin he lives out of town a little bit so it's going to take 35 40 minutes to get out there so by the time we get off our ship get in an uber and get out to where we're staying it's just about six o'clock it's like 5 40 5 45 in the morning and my brother had texted me their address uh because we are going to be staying with his wife's parents because they have they have their house they have three kids there's just a lot going on their her parents are older

super nice met them many times and they were like oh it's totally fine they can just stay with us we got you know all these spare bedrooms why not so like okay and my brother told me that they were going to be out of town here's the address and then he never really texted anything else i just figured like i don't know it was a busy is this a day and you figured like okay well the door must be unlocked or there's going to be a key under the doormat, and that's how we're going to get into the house. So the Uber drops us off at the address. We get out, walk up to the door. There's, like, a UPS package thing and then some more, like, Amazon packages in front of the door.

Okay, it makes sense. They're not in town, so here we are. So I go. I grab the door. Locked. I'm like, it's the front door. I'm like, God damn it. So I here we are. So I go. I grab the door. Locked. I'm like, it's the front door. I'm like, God damn it. So I get.

Here we go. Yeah. Get the flashlight phone out. And I'm looking in the front door. It's kind of scanning around. Go to a side window. It's like an office. I'm scanning around the office.

I'm just trying to figure it out. Like checking the windows and shit. And this is at what time? Like 545 in the morning. And so Cassie and and i we just leave we're like well let's go see maybe they just left the back door unlocked so we leave our carry-on luggage at the front door and we sneak around the back we go back there we're like this is sweet there's a hot tub and a pool and we're like feeling the water and splashing it around a

little bit we're like oh pretty cool but it'll be hot tomorrow. It'll be great. And we walk up the stairs in the back and they have this beautiful open air kind of patio. It looks like a room. We walk all the way through it to the back door. I grabbed the back door, shake it. It's locked. I'm like, God damn it. So I call my brother as I'm flashlight phone again, just looking in their kitchen and then peeking in some other windows and looking in the other part of the house. And I'm sitting there and I'm on the phone. He't pick up and i hang up i'm sitting there and i like really getting in there and shaking the door i'm like god damn it and cassie we're like well we could just sleep out here if we can't get in and just wait for for max to call us back and tell us how to get in and as we're talking about that just like it's like fucking dog it starts barking in the house and i'm like oh my

god i'm like fuck i'm like like why is the dog here like no one said a dog anything about dog max calls me back and he goes what's up and i'm like i'm like do they have a dog and he's like no and i'm like what uh i was like well fuck and i turned the flashlight off my cast i was they don't have a dog he's like shit so now we're And I turned the flashlight off. I'm like, Cass, they don't have a dog. He's like, shit. So now we're sprinting through the backyard, back around, going through this fence in some other person's yard. And we're going up to the front. I'm on the phone with my brother.

He goes, what's going on? And I'm like, they don't have a dog. There's a dog at this house. And we run up to the front door and we're grabbing our fucking bag. All the lights are flipping on in the house. And the guy opens the door in just his underwear. He's like, who are you looking for? Right?

And we're like, I'm sorry. Sorry. And Max is like, what is going on? I'm like, hold on. I'm trying not to get shot. I'm trying not to get shot. And he's like, blah, blah. And I was like, this is the address I was sent.

I was looking for blah, blah, blah. And he's like, haven't heard of them. And in my head, I'm laughing. I'm like, well, who the fuck is going around robbing houses with carry-on luggage? Obviously, we're in the wrong spot. And Max just sent me the wrong fucking address. Their house was across the street. Dude, that could have been really bad.

Yeah, it could have been really bad. Especially in fucking Texas. Yeah, that could have been really bad. Yeah. It could have been really bad. Especially in fucking Texas. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Yeah. And luckily, he wasn't nice, but he wasn't... I mean, obviously, he's started awake by his dog, and there's just people in his fucking lawn with suitcases when he wakes up. So he was just off. He just typed in an address that was some old address they had and didn't fucking think about it.

And then he just sent me to Austin to go to a fucking house that wasn't the house we were supposed to go to. So it was a sweet tail end to a trip to Austin. Just like, oh, I cannot wait to go to bed. Maybe got an hour of sleep, maybe combined on the four-hour flight. On the way down there, stayed awake all day, just so tired. And show up to the wrong house. And then, wherever you're staying show up to the wrong house and then uh where we were staying went over the next day and talked to him and he had like a ton of guns

oh yeah like i mean you'd have to be a crazy person to just open your door and start shooting people on your front lawn but we were hammering the doors in the dark right in the dark with our flashlights going so that looks like a breaking and entering to me. Sure does. Shoot you through the window. I mean, could have done anything. And it didn't happen. We escaped. But that was how our trip to Austin started out. Like, imagine someone if

they just, they weren't, they're like, fuck it. And they just shot through the door or something. Like, that could have happened. But luckily it didn't. So, never let max live that one down just send us to the wrong fucking house and be like whoops yeah sorry that was just an old address that we used to have it's actually this it's like actually first he said he goes oh no i think it's the other no whatever i'll just say some numbers i think that was the other seven like seven six

four two i was like max there's only one fucking 7642 per street. They don't just have a bunch of them in the same area. And one's north and south and east and west. You just get into a cul-de-sac and all of them are the same number. It must be a different one. It's like, no, I think you fucking gave us the wrong one. That's not how addresses work.

Just not owning up to it. Yeah, and then like after then we found the house. And then he goes, oh, he goes, oh, yeah. And I yeah and i was like all right well glad we didn't get shot he goes hey they're there i was like you fucking you never even said anybody was here that's how this all started and he gave us the wrong address and then he just basically shushed me and hung up on me to go back to bed i was like you fucking dick he's like do you know how early it is yeah yeah i'm aware i'm i'm wide awake now yeah and of course couldn't fall back asleep to like eight in the You fucking dick. He's like, do you know how early it is? Yeah. Yeah. I'm aware. I'm wide awake now.

Yeah. And of course, couldn't fall back asleep to like eight in the morning because adrenaline's pumping. And that brought, yeah, that guy probably couldn't either. No. So he was just up. No. But we said, sorry.

Yeah. Everything's well. All right. Let's move off to our last dick and then we'll wrap up this show. Okay. What do you want to do? Let's do the Sierra Leone declares emergency after addicts dig up graves to get high on drug made from human bones. What?

There's not another alternative? Like you have to have... Not when you find the stuff you want. You have to have human bones? Yeah. Oh, jeez. A psychoactive drug crafted from human bones is leaving addicts in the West African country of Sierra Leone digging up graves in order to get their fix. According to the BBC, this haunting menace has forced Sierra Leone to declare a national emergency. Police officers in the Freetown are guarding cemeteries to thwart the disturbing practice of exhuming skeletons

for the zombie drug production. Notably, the drug dubbed Kush is made from- That's already taken. You can't just- Yeah. I guess it's been long enough. Like, I don't know. We got to start recycling drug nicknames.

Just call it Kushy or something. Yeah. Unless they say Kush. You should have called it Bone. Yeah. Yeah. Femur. Femur.

I like that. A little more medical yeah uh it's made from a variety of toxic substances with one of its main ingredients being ground up human bone what in the fuck the narcotic first emerged in the west africa country around six years ago according to the outlet the uh it induces a hypnotic high which can last several hours the drug has become a widespread problem and dealers have reportedly turned into grave robbers, breaking the thousands of tombs to steal skeletons to keep up with the demands. Our country is currently faced with an existential threat due to ravaging impact of drugs and substance abuse, particularly a devastating synthetic drug kush kush cheerlead president julius marmaida mara bio said i can't imagine

ingesting a drug where one of the main ingredients is of human bones like you take a hit you're like oh damn that's some good bone it's a good femur cow man this guy taking a hit, and you're like, oh, damn, that's some good bone. It's a good femur. God, man, this guy. Taking a hit, you're like, damn, vegetarian. Yeah, or like a. This guy was an athlete. That's some Colombian bone. I feel like I could run forever. This is some pure Colombian bone.

Damn, where'd you get that femur? Just imagine showing up to, like to like say a cemetery one morning and there's like seven graves that were dug up and then just did you know left everything just took took the bones and it's like what the fuck who's grind and then the process like how far separated from just any sort of moral compass you have to be to not only steal a dead body. Just like... And just drop it. Yeah.

Honey, you be able to help with the kids this morning? Nope, I'm grinding bones. What are you shoving them into? Like a wood chipper? Yeah. Like a small wood chipper? Yeah, you have to use like one of those, like those Roto-Sanders.

He's like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just grinding down bone. There's got to be a better way. Grow some mushrooms. That's easy. It just hits different, you know? That bone hits different.

Oh, yeah. Those hand bones hit a little different. What's crazy, though, is the supply, like demand and supply, it's going to get crazy. Because if you're picking, if you're growing plants or things like that, there's an abundance of it. This is like, I think it actually says in here, they've added, there have been escalating fatalities among drug users. Oh, I don't know if it's because people are dying because of the drug or what i imagine well that seems like a pretty good business model honestly just kill the people that buy your drug and then grind their bones up to make more yeah but then you're not getting repeat customers

that's all right there'll be more what i was thinking was the hardest part is getting the bones they're gonna have to start killing people to get their bones so you're not you're digging once you've cleared out all the cemeteries, and now you're just having to kill people. I mean, there's a lot of dead people. But what a task. It's going to run out. I mean, it's like, okay. It's like fossil fuels.

That's what I was going to say. It's like, how many dinosaurs were there? There's a lot of them. But eventually they're going to run out, right? Yeah. They're going to have to travel to get them bones. So they're going to have to come up with an alternative source. Man.

Like a windmill. Like a windmill bone thing. Like we're doing. We're getting power from wind and solar. And tidal waves, which is sweet. So we're going to feel like that's going to have to be a thing, right? Like the bones. Yeah.

I mean, there's also any other drug that you don't have to do human bones true yeah you just grow it yeah i guess go do not those drugs don't do ones we have to go dig up a body to get your high god that's a lot of work to get high yeah but it you know like if you can sell it for a pretty penny well i doubt it well no the people that are the people the high if they have the money i bet you they're not they're not looking for human ground up bone drug they'll just go get fucking something like cocaine or whatever yeah but it seems it seems a little meth-y is what i'm getting at it doesn't seem like this is targeting people that are gonna be paying a pretty penny yeah you know what i mean well yeah but it's not gonna be the people that want to buy it just go buy it it's the all the work comes from the people that are going to be paying a pretty penny yeah right i mean well yeah but it's not going to be the people that want to buy it just go buy it it's the all the work comes from the people that

are making it i know do you think somebody's been like hey i'm out of all the bone stuff and they're like you can take my arm if i can have some but you can't take my freedom yeah like like i don't even use my left arm yep here take it how many it. How many hits will that get? Yeah. Make this get me through Tuesday? I get a discount. Let's get me through Tuesday. Did you say five-finger discount? Yep. Nice.

I get it. That's crazy. I never... I don't see that going on and on, especially when there's so many other drugs and chemicals you could do to get the same... I don't know. I've never smoked bone. You know what I...

You fucking know what I mean? You fucking know what I mean. Yeah! But I've just never, I've never done it, so I guess maybe it's that fucking sweet. I mean, that's the thing. Maybe it's so, like,

euphoric that you're just like, oh, my God, I cannot wait to smoke more bone tomorrow. Don't knock it till you've smoked it. Till you've smoked it. That's what my daddy

used to always say. That's what my old man used to say. That's wild. Alright, well you have some good news for us? Yeah, dude. Okay. Zach!

So you're telling me there's a chance. Hooray. We aren't doomed. Yeah! Speaking of death. Yeah, let's fucking do it. So,

fucking ads. Just let me read this. Animal lover rushes sick baby hedgehog to the vet, only to find out she's been caring for a hat pom-pom. What the fuck? All right, well, I'm intrigued because I don't know what's happening. So, an elderly woman, let's see, a tender-hearted- Oh, I get it now. Okay.

A tender-hearted animal lover spent an entire night tending to what she thought was a sick baby hedgehog, only to find out it was nothing more than a faux fur pom-pom. I thought a hat pom-pom was going to be a nickname for a different little animal. Yeah. But it's not. It's like a beanie, the little pom-pom on top. With a little ball on top. The elderly woman had rushed into action

when she'd spotted that she believed to be an abandoned critter on the side of the road in England. Oh, man. After a night without witnessing the puffball move or eat, the Good Samaritan rushed it to Lower Moss Woodnail Nature Reserve and Wildlife. That's a long fucking word. Name for a place? Name for a place, yeah. It was the first admission of the day. The lady came in with a place. It was the first admission of the day. The lady came in with a box.

She said she'd found this baby hedgehog on the pavement and was cold. It was cold and she picked it up. That's what Simi said. I was alarmed. It was very early for a baby hedgehog, so I was a bit concerned. I took it from the box, took the box from her and

took it through to the triage, which was in a bit concerned. I took the box from her and took it to the triage, which was in a separate room. So they're like, set up an OR. We've got to take care of this. Opened up the box, and well, I couldn't quite believe what I was seeing. I thought, it's definitely not a hedgehog. Perhaps it's some other kind of fluffy creature. As soon as I picked it up, picked up the fuzzball,

Cozy realized it was precisely what it was. I realized it wasn't animated at all. What? Yes, you got it. Yeah, I realized it wasn't animated at all, and I picked up, and obviously with the weight, I could feel that it wasn't a hedgehog or any animal at all. My gosh.

Was the lady that found it smoking bones? Probably. She was just so high, and she high and she goes this little baby hedgehog somebody gotta fix it i got nothing else to do tonight i'm gonna take this little baby hedgehog home while i smoke some bone yeah you know what i mean can't imagine getting that i mean doctors hospitals get crazy shit all the time yeah oh my god it hurts so bad over here. And they go look, and they're like, oh, yeah. It's a scratch. It's a fucking, it's nonsense.

Yeah. Like, they're flipping this thing over. They don't quite realize it. Like, is it like they're losing their shit? Is it male or female? Mm-hmm. They're just spitting a hat pom-pom. And they're kind of just going like.

Yeah, they're poking it. Getting it. For some reason, it's got a squeaker in it. Mm-hmm. The dog toy. Yeah. It's like... Hang in there.

The rubber chicken noise? That's what I was trying to do, but I didn't... Anyway, so... Anyway, she was embarrassed, it says. But I just thought, like, the reason I brought this in here is because it was like, what a nice old lady. Like, the fact that she thought it was a hedgehog and then, like, nursed it and then was like, I gotta, I gotta. Like, I just pictured this old woman like, oh, dear. I gotta take this in.

Yeah, like, I gotta take it to the vet and all concerned about it pretty cute pretty cute I bet you everyone in the vet lost their shit that day oh yeah they're gonna talk about that one for a while

now but if she sees something she'll probably be like oh it's probably just a fucking finger you know a glove it's probably just a glove

there's no way that's there's no way that's a starfish yeah and it's just on the side of dying suffocating whatever starfish. Yeah, and it's just on the side of dying, suffocating, whatever starfish do. Die. I don't know. Hey, SpongeBob.

That's what they do. That's exactly what they do. I have a little bit of a little informational piece. Do you? For the, look what I found. Okay. Okay. Zach.

Oh, fuck. The internet is pretty wild. Depending on your browsing habits, you can either experience something super cool or go to prison. Crazy, right? Let's check it out together as a couple. Hey, look what I found.

Yes! That's awesome! We've all gotten spam calls. Yes, we have. And none of us like them. Nope, we don't. But I didn't know that this, I guess I wouldn't say I wouldn't be able to figure this out. I didn't think it was a thing.

But here's a little warning for everybody. It says, don't say yes when caller asks, can you hear me now? Okay. And I was like, okay. I think they were amping it up a little bit then they explained i thought they were just kind of a little fear-mongering but uh anyway so when someone asks can you hear me on the phone when you pick up if so hang up it could be a scam the can you hear me scam has been targeting consumers for quite a few years it's unclear

exactly how the scam might play out, but customer advocates, including the Better Business Bureau, say it's better to just hang up and not engage. So what is the danger? It's likely the scammers are trying to get you to say yes so they can record your voice, which can then be used to edit and make it seem like you're authorizing something that you didn't, according to the scam alert from the BBB. And that's really all we have to cover with this article. Because the more I thought about it, the more I thought about someone trying to use your voice to authorize something.

Right? They sound nothing like you. Like, okay, Joe, Mr. Paisley, do I have you on the line? Yes, you have me on the line. Do you authorize this? He goes, yes. And they're like, what was that? Yes.

All they have is one yes? There's no other inflection at all. Okay. And I just need your date of birth? Yes. Yes. Yes. Mr. Paisley, are you okay yes all right oh man this is kind of weird

what's your date of birth yes yes 1980 yes august 12th 1980 yes just like the guy's like okay that'll do we will transfer the fifty thousand dollars immediately yes is that anything else you can help me with today yes all right well what is it? Yes. No. They just have little words. That's all they have. Like picking a soundboard.

Anything else I could help you with today? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Anything else I could help you with today? Oh, yeah. Well, someone's enthusiastic. You're excited to hear about our cruise line offer you fucking but yeah but anyway i guess we've talked about and covered going into the aa or the aa the ai world and they can recreate your voice i mean apple has a feature where

you can talk into it and they can recreate your voice so this type of shit is just getting going but if you get a call from a number you don't and you pick it up for whatever reason because maybe you're waiting for some other call they're like can you hear me maybe this will help you maybe this will save you from uh yes by the time i hear that i usually just hang up anyway the second i pick it up and I'm like, hello? And there's one second of silence and I'm like, beep! Not waiting for you! Hello! You've been selected to... You have a once in a lifetime opportunity to travel

to... And they call back and pick up right where they left off. Travel to Bermuda. Alright, let's hear from some of the kids. Alright, Zach! Hey, you guys! Alright, let's hear what you guys think.

Really? You want to talk to me? Wow, that's cool. Just want to point out that we paused so you could go up to the bathroom. Yeah. I needed to do that. I've had to do it a couple times. I was really uncomfortable. Because I have to poop. Yeah.

And I can hold that. It's fine. But having to hold both. And it's like, you've got to hold both sides. Oh, jeez Louise. I just want to concentrate on one set of muscles. One hold at a time, please. All right.

You want to take this first email? Sure. Read it to us. All right. This is coming in from our tough girl daughter, Teddy. time, please. All right, you want to take this first email? Sure. Read it to us. All right, this is coming in from our tough girl daughter, Teddy. Oh, Teddy. Hey, fuckheads. Nice. It's Teddy at your service to put some perspective on the tolerance of I don't fucking know his name.

What? Yeah, you got it. Of I don't fucking know his name's... Oh, yeah, yeah, of the petty beef. Was this from last week or the week before? I don't remember. Some shit about his wife's pain and his pain and doing the same shit and outcomes are different.

Yep, I remember. So, yeah. When a lady pushes a sweet, sweet babe out of her vagina, the pain builds up from a little to an overwhelmingly large amount. We got time to prepare ourselves for the worst pain that is to come, causing

it to seem like we aren't really in a whole shit ton of pain. Which makes sense. And you're probably just ready for it to be fucking over with. Yeah. It's just kind of like, ugh. Like a band-aid. Or something. That was a terrible example.

A band-aid is more like a smash in your thumb. Kind kind of i was trying to think of something that like it's trapped and you know it's gonna get it's gonna hurt and it's been hurting and then eventually you're like i just fucking cut my arm off i'm just ready for this to move on well i but i think like maybe the the pain of giving birth it's like you've already been doing contractions which fucking suck so i mean i like getting a tattoo It's I think it's more like that where when you starts out you like oh, it's fucking sucks, and then you sort of like Zone out still hurts same pain. Yeah, but you're just like I guess I'm kind of used to the pain in a way anyway Where was that yeah a whole lot of shit ton of, if we hit our fingers with the guy's theoretical hammer, yes, that shit hurts fucking instantly.

Also, women are looked at as the weaker sex, causing men to what? To look or be, look stronger, or be stronger. Us gals don't really think about the pain y'all's penis swingers go through because of the above sentence. We think you guys are strong all the time, so when you're sick we think you're being baby bitches because you're the strong ones! It's not because we think you're actually baby bitches, we just forgot you're

not invincible. Okay. You're welcome for that information. Now take it home to your living, breathing sex dolls and apply it to your everyday lives. Teddy. I like Teddy. Funny. like teddy funny funny funny funny um i've never heard that before that actually it makes sense i'm not all the way in but i also have never thought of that angle on it yeah where it's like if you're just being a emotionalist

stoic fucking strong piece of guy all the time i was gonna say strong piece of shit but like you're just being an emotionalist, stoic, fucking strong piece of shit guy all the time. I was going to say strong piece of shit. But you're just not as emotional. You're like, yep. Like something crazy happens and you're like, whoa. And then you're like, can I have some soup? You're sucking your thumb. Yeah, it's like, what are you doing?

My tummy hurts. Yeah, what are you doing, you baby? Yeah. So that does make sense. Yeah. yeah what are you doing you baby yeah that so that does make sense yeah because you're just a stoic get things done on the day-to-day so that when you lose your shit you're like what are you doing yeah like it's just like this isn't normal yeah this is not yeah it's like you you didn't fall off a ladder and break your back um because that would hurt and i would be but you'd probably

also expect them to pop up and be like it's's fine. Well, that's what I'm saying. I would expect you to lay in bed, then I'll get you soup. But you don't. You walk it off like a fucking monster. But when you're tummy-hooch and then you're laying down in bed, you need a little bit soup and a little blinky.

Yeah. And then you want to have sex too for some weird reason? Right after you shit the bed? Dude, if you fell off a ladder and broke your back, you'd still want to have sex. Yeah, I'd be like, you know what would make me feel better? Yeah. Fucking coming. I think I should come about it. Our second email sent in

by our son Devin. He writes, What's up, my all-American bomb pops tripping over children chasing the ice cream trucks? The fuck? I don't know, but I like it. I bring this story up in relation to Joe's nightmare casino bathroom experience. You say nightmare.

I say I fucking came. Use that for material for the spank bank. I forgot the episode name. That's fair. Yeah. I had something somewhat similar occur to me after ingesting about five eggs and an unseemly amount of hash browns the morning after drinking a shit ton of craft beer at a Dropkick Murphy's local craft beer festival thing in Minnesota about eight years ago. I've seen Dropkick Murphy's twice, and I'm with them. I don't think it's possible to just contain your alcohol consumption at a Dropkick Murphy's concert. Kind of goes hand in hand.

If you had self-control, which I don't, I guess you could control it. But no, I've been pretty drunk both times I've seen Dropkick Murphys. Upon finishing my breakfast at some local diner the next day, I had hit the bathroom before I left. There were two stalls in there,

but the handicapped one was the only one in operation. The other stall was under construction or whatever. I never got to see inside it. What were they doing in there? It was like a little crane. Caution tape. A little crane with a little American flag rotating around inside.

You're like, what are they doing in there? What the hell are they doing in that stall? That's crazy. It's got like Walker construction on the... There's a guy outside in a hard hat. Three of them are standing around. Yeah, two of them are talking to the one guy, and the one guy's kind of... He's catcalling you because you're trying to take a shit.

And then one guy's got a shovel, and he's digging or something. Yeah, nice ass. You're like, oh, God. Bathroom's under construction. I hate it here. So anyway, God. Bathroom's under construction. I hate it here. So anyway, guys already have to go into a bathroom and stand around in front of people and fucking piss. So imagine that scene where you're just getting catcalled. Ezzy and I got a good public bathroom fart show a couple weeks ago.

It was really good. It was downtown. It was that beautiful downtown Spokane in River Park Square. Bathroom bottom floor by the big shoe. Oh, yeah, yeah. I know that one. And we went in there. Long hallway.

Long hallway. Right there on the left. Only one urinal. It's a fucking mall. There's going to be more wieners and butts than I think you expected. Yeah.

And I'm taking a pee and there's a guy in the stall and he's doing like the little antsy heavy breath. Yeah. And then gets a fucking just a and I'm peeing.

I look back at Ezra and he's just like, he's just laughing. And he's just like, he's just laughing. And he goes. Just like, he was, if his butt was outside of the Bellagio in Vegas, like it was a show. Okay. It was a show. Okay.

Good, like good laugh. I walked by him. I just gave him a high five. I see his next thing is the urinal. I was like, I'll just see you outside. And he's like, okay. And I walk outside and he's like... He's like, fuck, finally I can let loose.

You know my favorite fart when you're pooping is the one that goes... It's like a... Yeah. Yeah, I hear you. I feel it. I feel it. I feel it. It vacates the bowels nicely.

It's the first thing that comes out, but it hits that aluminum and the covered... Like you're waiting for a harmony to join in. Never got to see inside. I sat down and proceeded to make that toilet attend confessional the next day. Midway, though, the door opens to the bathroom and there's a commotion out there i hear an old man say is there someone in there well i'm blasting off my greasy breakfast food and then hear his caretaker say i'm sure they'll be done soon i then hear the old man say i'm not going to make it and i scramble that's a good breakfast that's a good breakfast. That's a good breakfast pun. Yeah, it is.

I wipe and get off the john as fast as possible, but it's too late. The old man fell is shouting things, and so is the caretaker. I exit the stall to this poor old man shitting in the urinal and all over the wall. But I was moving super quick, so I had to wash my hands. You bump him out of the way? Excuse me, can I get to the soap, please? Sorry, sir, you're standing in front of the fucking paper towel dispenser. Please move.

Cue super awkward eye contact between everyone in that fucking bathroom. Fortunately, I managed to run out of that diner fast, and I had already paid up. Good stuff. That's a nightmare of using the luxury stall with the leg room. It's like sitting in an exit row. Imagine, let's say you came out and you didn't pay, so you're at your table waiting to pay, and then the caretaker comes out, the old guy comes out, and the manager of the restaurant, and they're over by the bathroom.

You just see him point to you. Pull your hat down. They're all looking around. That guy right there. Him! Him did it! Is that the man that made you shit in the urinal? That's the guy!

Is he in the courtroom today? That's him right there p.s my dad died from als 12 years ago jesus so i think i just uh jump kick at the hawking for holding out on whatever that epstein island secret is until i'd eat okay so that is exactly how the email ended just like that i don't know if they had a stroke or what but it's like it's like he said i know whatever that episode island secret is until i'd eat and then just yeah nothing so is this guy alive like did he bump send and just gone i know he's probably what that's that's short for die right

well he he probably had to uh oh is it i think so zach no idea but there's no period so there's nothing it's just how it ended My dad died ALS 12 years ago I think I just Jump kick all Hawkins For holding on Whatever that

Epstein Island secret is Until I'd E Maybe he got ALS Right then Just the letter E That's all we got His muscles gave out Just thought that was

A good end to that email Whatever he meant Whatever he meant I'm sure it was this Alright okay Well that's it for episode 96. Time for the bonus stuff. If you want to hear us keep talking and doing a bunch of funny things,

patreon.com slash canyoudontpodcast. That's where you sign up. Thank you to everybody who does that, and you'll find a link in the episode description. I will say, so really quick, I feel like last week's, I'm not just pumping Patreon. Pumping. Last week's conversation about Zach and his performing at RV shows. Yeah. That was one of the funnest.

I talked about it with people when I was in Austin. Like, family members. I was like, yeah. That was one of the funniest Patreon shows. Yeah. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Good laughs. It's still not my worst gig ever played. Well, I can't wait to hear about it in the bonus content that you can only get.

But no, thank you to everybody who has signed up. We've got merch deals, all that kind of stuff. If you want to pick up some merch, we've got a ton of it available at canyoudontpodcast.com. Of course, we've got Instagram, Facebook, and the video version on YouTube. Check that out. If you want to email something into the show, that's heyguys at canyoudontpodcast.com. Of course, you got Instagram, Facebook, and the video version on YouTube. Check that out. If you want to email something into the show, that's heyguys at canyoudontpodcast.com. Then rate and review us wherever you listen to shows.

Zach's going to be making cards. Oh, shit. For Scatcast. What are you doing? My left eye. Oh, yeah. I see it. I've seen it the whole time.

No, but I was just itching. I feel like it's about ready to pop. Yeah, the eye saga of Brian's continuing. Oh, wow. Hey, you could probably go pop that sty. Look at that thing. I know. Look at it.

It's like a giant white head on your eyeball. That looks like Mount Rainier. You should name it. Murphy. Let's name it Murphy. But you'll be making cards out of the t-shirts that we're wearing today. Yep. And those will be coming out in a little while.

But you can check out everything that Scatcast has going on at scatcast.com. That is scat with a K. Don't go to scat with a C or you're going to come. And thanks to the babysitters that moderate the Can You Don't Facebook page. It's called the Can You Don't Playground if you want to go join all the fun. Do you and your sty have something for us in the end of the show today? Yeah.

Okay. Zach! Good God. Wrap it up already, huh? All right. This was sent in from our son, Tim. Tim. Two cannibals are eating a clown.

One cannibal looks to the other one and says, does this taste funny to you? I get it. Because it's a clown. Yeah. It's funny.'s funny i don't i don't know if he made it up or if it's one he found but uh i want to think that uh he made it up and i'd say good for him good for you clever that's funny good job solid solid joke we'll take it hilarious hilarious all right off to the bonus stuff all right i'll see you guys in all four of us

me you Zach and your Stye alright bye yes