Can You Don't? - Can You Don't? | Needle Nose. Cone Killer. Babydust. Kaleidoscope.

Episode Date: November 26, 2025

We have all been in intense arguments over something stupid. However, those arguments don't usually end in gunfire over how many eggs a chicken can lay. Let's talk about that, heading over to Facebook groups to find sperm donors, vivid memories of kaleidoscopes but no one actually likes them, almost dying while replacing an outlet, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://www.patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast ***New Episodes every Wednesday at 12pm PSTWatch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/-uE5vDJgzWUSend in segment content: [e-mail]: http://canyoudontpodcast.comMerch Inquires: [e-mail]: http://facebook.com/canyoudontpodcastIG: http://instagram.com/canyoudontpodcastYouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wyt5rtOfficial Website: http://canyoudontpodcast.comCustom Music Beds by Zach CohenFan Mail:Can You Don't?PO Box 1062Coeur d'Alene, ID 83816See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Needle nose, cone killer, baby dust, kaleidoscope. We're off to a ripping stuck. I'm not sure if you've noticed this about the, uh, like so the in studio. a little timer right. We have a big ass clock in here so we can manage time and progress the show. And usually I have to push the start thing like seven or eight times.

Oh, we just win? I don't know. The very first push, dude. Right now we're at 40 seconds. I mean without the intro. You'd still be pushing the button to get it to work. The whole time I'm pushing the button just off to the side here. Just trying to keep it cool, getting your teeth. What is it with it?

How are you doing, Bri Guy? What are you doing over there? Good. Staying busy? Super busy. Yeah. Super fun. How's that mustache?

Back, baby. Yeah. Look at it. I had a little, I let the rest of the beer grow a little bit. Yeah. And I was like, what am I doing? This isn't me anymore. Let's just get back to the basis.

Yeah. I used to, I mean, for years, I just had basically, you're like that what you have. And I'm like, you know what? That's just, it's time for a change. It's not questionable enough. Right. Like, I want people to not trust me. Yeah, exactly.

I don't like to stay stagnant for too long. yeah right yeah sure like things evolving and moving I hear you right yeah full 180 oh yeah we're doing a little escape word full one it's big 1080 we're back side in 64 game Ricky winterboard choose your character

Shinsumi young Gimmy the Japanese kid that was in green Spont Fast Send your content in your suggestions Petty Beef confessions I feel like maybe another confessions episodes coming up probably we talked about that but it has been a bit we do need some more confessions though i know we did get some some good ones though we did but we can we use more yeah more

just spill some of them are for the show some of them are so i could hank off hey guys at can you don't podcast dot com of course we're working our way through honkathon had some more signups over the last week uh trying to reach that 450 so we can get zach his own camera i and then i mean we should have made 450 and then 451 would have been hiring someone to show them how to use the camera that's in the other room because that's going to be a whole process

we're going to need Ezrae in here for the first couple episodes I think yeah 475 that hot air balloon ride 500 is where we've ended this lead off little honkathon goal and that's the extra Patreon episode every single month

mumpf on the show today we've got that frothy hog bone stiffed out inappropriate apparent teacher conferences efflongated dick on the show today quite the name really

yeah we're gonna fit it in we're gonna stuff it in and Zach's over there is that consensual? No turning himself into a card what did I do? The last pawn that we had I forget who made the comment

but we said that you were sick and they said yeah right he'd probably just turned himself into a card okay and you couldn't you know carts can't drive that's true yeah Yeah, feed the whole feet. And then we just visualized you, like, flat on a table, trying to yell for Monique.

Just, I'm too D as fuck. You're too small and no one knows you're there. It's honey I shrunk the kids. Which I think led to a Beetlejuice reference. It was a whole thing. It did. What's going on over there with that scat card? Can you don't cross over?

Well, this is kind of what it looks like. There's a bunch of, uh, got hogbone rookies. There's a peaches rookie. I've grabbed as many fun pictures. Yeah, there's your business meeting there. But almost every single thing that you guys have put on the show and put on a t-shirt has made it its way into a card. There's three puzzle sets. Fucking Gertie.

There's a bunch of fun shit. So, yeah, Gertie's, Gertie rookie card. Come on. And, you know, we're only going to print them for the next week. So if you want them, this is the only time to get them until next year. Okay. So you head over there. And there's a couple different packs you can get, right?

That's right. So you can actually get just the 36 card set and we'll throw a mystery card, some kind of hollow or some autograph in there or you can get the big package where it has all sorts of stuff in it and then there's one that's just called the enigma pack where you can get three real special it's called the we do enigma packs oh i thought you said something else it just guarantees a really high quality low print card so it'll be an autograph a hollow gold card those kind of things so we went all out and they're all trading card size and they're all high quality gloss and or other stuff have you both want to laugh at me screw both of you have you been sleeping well i've had three weeks

A flu, motherfucker. What? What did I do? I just love it. Because I know you, and then, like, we're here and we're doing this. And then just knowing the second you leave here, you've just been making fucking cards. He's got to go back and cut more cards. Dude, if I can work for...

It's like you're in trouble. Like, it's like a punishment. Oh, if I could work for tops, I would do it in a heartbeat. I love designing cards. I love giving people cards of themselves. I know. It's one of my favorite things. I love watching you guys sign cards.

because it's, I don't know, it was fun as an athlete to have a trading card. I know, I just love it. And then even though you've been super sick, you're still, you're still, fuck yeah. He's cutting the card. coughing all over the card. It's a small business. We don't have time to be sick. Oh, man, so good.

Yeah, so head over to scatcast.com. Okay. And those are available, write me out. Yeah. And all you guys, all the patrons for Scottcast, you can make sure you use your discounts. Okay. Get on in there. Before we jump into.

our show. This came across, and I felt like it just had to be brought up. Like, sometimes you're like, well, you know, this article kind of fits in. I don't know where the hell else this article would go besides Cady You Know Podcast. But Megadeth, back in the headlines here. Hey, me. Well, I guess this isn't really a headline. This is just like way too long.

But it's a quote. It says, I saw they sent a bunch of celebrities into space, and I thought, well, if them why not me mega death frontman dave mustane wants their final show to be in outer space what a dork okay why not i guess fucking what well hey me you know what's crazy is just something like that so babe is everything okay up there hey houston it's me again we've got a problem The boosters aren't firing I don't know if I'll ever make it home I'm getting floating away

I mean some guy like that says something and gets headlines and now Megadethin' headlines like that's how easy to do it brother. All I have to do is mention that stuff at least it's on the job. Maybe we should be the first people to do a podcast in space. And then someone should clip what I just said and then And then compare it to you being scared to going in a hot air balloon, but fine getting in a

space shuttle? Yeah. I think I would rather get in a space shuttle than getting a hot air balloon. I think so. Yeah. It's not a basket. It's a very secure machine. And you're going so fast and it would happen so fast you wouldn't even know you were dead.

Yeah, you'd be vaporized. Yeah. Okay. I'd rather be vaporized than... Than bounce? Than entertained? Then bounce on fire. Then have a good time.

Anyway, so I'm going to go ahead and file that into probably not going to happen. Are you ready to... You never know. That's one thing I've learned about the world, Joe. You never know. Yep, yep, yep, yep. Dave Mustaine's going to die before that. Before he gets up there?

Okay. Get the show rolling? Okay, let's do it. Zeeck! Hey, shut up. Start the show already. Zeke. Hey, me.

Are you ready? ready for this? Yeah, I'm rude. This is for my son, Shane. Okay. So would you rather? Okay. No signs of piss or poop or sex or dongs or anything.

This is just a nice old fashion. I'm proud of you. Yeah. Have we addressed that on the show? No. But would you like to? So, probably a lot of just who I am as a person and like just how my involvement and what makes me feel safe and good.

I mean, it's probably like 95% of the stuff that goes into the script I go out and find. And then sometimes just too busy, especially lately, and I'm just like, you're like, I got it. And if that ever happens, 100% of the time so far, you grab stories and emails that have to do as like shit, come and piss. Yeah. Every time. I'm drawn to it. And Joe's, he's like, I'm going to take this out because we've been talking about piss for six weeks. That's fair.

And you just go, that's fair. That's good. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with it. It says, like, just kind of where I'm at. And then. I get it. Hand the reins over. And you're like, how about a dick?

Yeah. But I also says something about our listeners. It does. Because it's working. So it's not just my fault. Okay I just have to be the one that picks them All right back to you

All right Would you rather Have to pack up all your shit And move every eight months Oh man But you're not allowed to start preparing for anything Until seven days before you move out Oh

Oh my God My heart just started racing How I mean Eight months moves Eight months is pretty quick these days It's kind of like how long the Canydon Studio lasts in one location. That's not even enough time to cook a baby.

Nice. Or, legally. Right. Okay. Have the, that was the sound of a baby getting cooked? Yeah, it was. Cut in and out, though.

It was kind of weird. That was you closing the oven door? Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's closed now. Okay, back to you. Beep. Or have the vision of a kaleidoscope randomly for two hours throughout the day for the rest of your life.

Oh, boy. Okay. Anybody does know what a kaleidoscope is? Goops, Google it. I'm not going to explain it to have that happen. I mean, that's the end of your day. Yeah. You can't just continue.

Two hours, dude. That's what I felt when I was like, when I was going to drive out for the pond the other night. When you were high. I had kaleidoscope eyes. Experimenting. They're like Betty Davis eyes. They're just a little different. A little diff.

She's got, she's got clitoscopic guys. That sounds like a nightmare. So that shuts you down. And that's every day for the rest of your life. Oh, boy. You wouldn't want to wake, you wouldn't want to open your eyes if you're, I mean, oh, God. Yeah, but kaleidoscopes don't sleep. So you'd be sleeping and everything you see would just constantly be rotating.

Your dreams are kaleidoscope eyes? Yeah, you're a fly. Your dreams are already fucked But now there's a hundred of them I have a quick question When's the last time you guys Took a peek through a kaleidoscope

Decades ago But we all remember That you don't want it Yep I don't own one for a reason You know Because they suck Yeah

They're good for One second You're like Whoa that's cool I saw that And then you just put it back in the gift shop. Yeah, some grandparents like, this is a toy. And you're like, no, it's not.

This is a nightmare, Grandma. Yeah, this is what toys were you guys playing with a stick? This is better than a stick, I guess. Like, no family heirloom is a kaleidoscope. No one cares about it that much. Yeah, Joe's right. You never, I mean, you rarely seem out of house anymore. They're in like a toy store.

You're driving around or you're walking around through the toy store. next to a funny book uh-huh and you're like oh you pick it up you're like oh man i haven't seen all these forever and then you pulled away and you're like oh man and i hope to never see one again you're like that's crazy and you put it back and you move on move off to the the funny socks yeah so for two hours every day randomly yeah you don't get to prepare for it right out the gate down the street yeah the rest of your life yep working driving if you were driving you would kill people in yourself having some sex mm just i just i'm trying to keep away from it. That's where immediately was going. Four thousand rotating

tits. That's pretty sweet though. Okay. Now I'm back in. And more than merrier, brother. Okay. So that is an everyday thing. One of the worst things, and it progressively gets more and more inconvenient in such a pain of the ass, is moving. As you get older, you acquire, you have bought into capitalism, and you just have so many boxes of kaleidoscopes. just in your garage kaleidoscopes one

colidoscopes two gonna be worth money one day yeah keep these around beanie babies one kaleidoscopes three just so many dumb boxes don't you discard a lot of shit when you move each time

you throw stuff away you try to at least yeah that's the goal so if you're doing that every eight months you should be downsizing at least nah because in that eight months you got more shit you didn't need yeah

never gonna learn our lessons huh but you would get so efficient at it. Like, I have to lean towards the moving thing. Like I, but I'm not, you know, like you love a house and that's fine, but there's so many cool houses out there. But then the process of like selling a house every eight months, but you can't really start working on it until seven days before. I mean, the financial burden going through all that. You'd have like a dedicated real estate agent on retainer. She's like, it's been about eight months. What do we, what do we thinking,

I actually just a real estate agent, like we work with us, but like I, I strictly work with Joe. And it's enough. I meet my quota with him. It's, we're fine.

We're fine. I mean, you'd have to, you'd have to downsize and basically move into, like, you would just have, you'd have to have the bare minimum. Like,

you couldn't have the little trinkets everywhere. You know, when you get to a house, when you move, one of the exciting parts is like getting your stuff out. setting up your you're putting your posters up putting your whatever whatever it may be getting that fridge ready uh-huh got the fridge magic or magnets and then all the school pictures all the

stuff that you that's home and you put like in newspaper and pack all the glasses yeah that's never coming out again all the my when we've moved before my wife just taking every individual glass and wrapping it in newspaper and putting it nicely into a box and doing that every eight months. Fuck that. Yeah. Nope. She,

everything would go right to paper plates. I would have paper plates and plastic cups. Yeah. Life would change in a lot of ways. You'd become a bachelor pat again. Mm-hmm. I would move away from you, like as a friend. Mm-hmm.

Just so I don't have to deal with that. Well, I would never ask you to help move. Yeah, you would. Hey, you would. No. You'd think about it. Mm-mm. Good for you.

I don't even know what to do about that. Because I would help you move. I know you would want to, but I wouldn't want you to. Oh, man. Okay. Just hire folk. Yeah. It's not too bad.

Must be nice. When's the last time you moved, Zach? 14, like two Spokane from California like 11 years ago. Yeah. We moved like five times in between there. Imagine moving your place every eight months. That was awful. I almost died.

You guys are settled in your place. Yeah, we'd like to think so. You guys are dying in there. Yeah, I'd hope so. Mm-hmm. So. that's moving terrariums yeah i don't think it's me that chose the heavy things to be fair i don't give a shit about even a coffee table through sickness health and terrific happy life happy life

but collided colloquy doggily i think that i'm fine like i don't have a lot of connections to objects like being surrounded by things isn't where i find happiness so i think I'm picking moving because I would just get it down to a science and be able to live a normal life. But if my vision just went to a kaleidoscope for two hours every day randomly, then that impacts my entire life. Like, I don't even know. What could you do?

Sit at home and be scared? Sweet! You got to live your life, brother. So, I mean, I'm packing. I got to figure it out. Just get rid of shit. Same. Everything's kind of ready to go.

You'd figure it out, maybe one, two of them. those moves before you just didn't unpack shit ever again. TV, bed, paper cups. The difficult thing is, like, if you're a bachelor and you're listening to this, you're like, dude, I could, I could, no problem. And most guys, I think, are that way. Like, you just, the bare minimum, I saw a meme, and it was like, I sent to my wife, it was like, if guys, or I forget what it was.

It's like, how guys are acceptable. And it's just a lawn chair. There's like a TV on the floor, a lawn chair, and a cooler right next to the lawn chair. And you're like, and it was something like men can be, think this is fine and it drives women crazy, whatever the meme was. But it's like, yeah, we just need a room and a TV. Don't need the surroundings. I just need, I need the feeling. But here's the thing, though.

I don't need to have the surroundings make my feeling. but I will say this about about that kind of stuff is that no I would never buy that and when guys go on trips we buy chips and beer but when a woman comes along they do bring things and do get things

that you end up loving substantially make the whole thing better you're glad that that stuff exists and that it's there and that's one of the great parts about the way that they think is the comforts and the things that you love and very comfortable in are there because they brought them in you wouldn't have done it women help

domesticate men a great deal more than anything else they do and as much as it drives you nuts like oh we don't need this shit like you get used to it and it's when we go camping it's if i was going by myself it would be way different than when my wife goes but when she goes and it is comfortable it's like it is nice it's very nice very nice yeah so yeah i get it um having a family and a wife really changes the moving situation yeah it's it probably still lean towards that but it definitely makes a decision a little bit tougher yeah because for eight months my wife's still gonna want to have a nice house in a place that feels inviting and homely you know she's not going to be cool with boxes all over and you know sitting on boxes you never even knew you wanted 12

pillows on a bed did you nope nope and still don't still don't still don't All right. Okay. So, what are you picking? I'm moving. What are you picking, Zach? For sure. Moving, okay. I'll pick the moving too. All right, all right. Just because that other way sounds psychotic. But thank you, Shane. That was a fun little thought experiment. What do you thinking about? Is it time? It is time. Okay. What are you thinking about? Hey. Hey, what's up, babe? What are you thinking about? Uh, you know, nothing. Actually, you know what? I'm thinking about a lot of shit. What are you thinking about?

Guess where we're going? Back to the kitchen. So it is getting close. Tile is in. Grout is drying. We got to paint. We got to get the electrician back in here. Finish up, it's like the under cabinet lighting and the outlets and all that kind of stuff.

Oh, you're hiring an electrician? That's smart. How did you know? For shadowing. So all that said, there's like the little, what do you call that shit? God, I guess, so dumb talking about design things is that a bar the thing that i like to the side of the kitchen side bar is side bar easy bar so i we're all idiots like it has a whole thing but anyway it's like a

like a prep like a little prep area but it has like the the beverage cooler and it is a it's a bar it's something that rich people have joe god dude so i don't have a side bar yeah but you have a time share and the And I'm paying for it The little sidebar area Is where a coffee bar Because that's what it is Sure

Coffee bar, that's good Yeah Fuck yeah dude Killing it Because that is where This whole story starts The coffee The espresso machine

Is plugged in over there There's like the The automatic wine openers Have a little charging station Now over there Charging station So it's that. It's whatever that is.

And a wine cooler, right, where you stow the wine. You get it. See? So it's a coffee bar. Coffee wine bar. Easy bar. Whatever Zach said. I have no idea where that came from.

Easy bar. Easy bar. Easy bar. It's your own little speakeasy. Is your coffee bar too complicated? Time to get easy with easy bar. Check out easy bar. I've been sick for three weeks.

I've been sick for three weeks. And so. the request last night after work and we were like we were talking and i had like a like a crazy busy day and uh cassie had a busy day and we were just kind of talking and filling things up and then i had a little bit more of work to do so cast started working then i started working a little bit and then anyway that just kind of turned into other things and then she was talking about the outlet she goes you think that you could do it because i know how to do outlets i did all the are the outlets on the rest of the house and the ones in the kitchen just aren't like done they don't

have they don't have a all set and you can't use them and she was like can you do just do this one because then i need to have a place to plug the espresso machine in and i said yeah of course so anyway i was still i just continued to work after that question was made so i made the mistake of not uh immediately throwing my computer out the window and installing the outlet oh gotcha right yeah you didn't stop what you're doing and and i said i said something like well yeah like i just have to like this that and she goes okay well i mean i'll just do it and i just look at her and i go can you give me five minutes and she goes yeah and i was like okay and i just go back and then i'm just like typing and then i think i said something else i was like what if i just did

that to you you're in the middle of your work and i was like hey can you just go fold the laundry Yeah, I'll get to it. Guess I'll do it myself! And she didn't say it that way. Like, it wasn't like a fight fight. Yeah. But it just kind of, I was like, God damn it. And it went that way.

And we had a little back and forth, and that turned into something different. Anyway, it was just a little bit. And we were both tired from a busy day. So I'm in the kitchen, and she leaves and she goes into the bedroom. And so now I'm standing out there. And I'm just, I'm like, what just happened? Just taking a deep breath. And I look over the outlet and I go,

Well, might as well. And with new electrical, this is going to be, I know you're going to hear this and be like, you're an idiot. But I've done this many times. When the electrical is done right and with the way that a lot of new outlets are, it's really not that crazy to install a new outlet or light switch without going and turning the breaker off. I know. Yeah. You say that and it's like 101.

It's like, yeah, you could do it. But there's little holes for all the wires, all the wires, because they can. kitchen just got redone they all are capped so you take one cap off and as long as the wires don't touch everything's going to be fine there's also professionals that there's the reason they're professionals yeah yeah yeah whatever and so i take it and put put it in and click that in click that in put the ground on everything's hidden it's no exposed wires and then i went to push it back in so it could go back into what i want to call the receptacle and i always feel like you're always messing this shit up When you talk about some tradesman, he's just like,

We got an email about. Is it today? About this exact thing. Is it on the show today? I don't remember if it's in there today. But it's exactly what you're talking about. Oh, that's so funny. I know that because I guess know how this whole, like this field is.

They're just like, you idiot. God. Stop calling it that. I haven't even seen that email. That's so funny. So anyway, the wires were too long. So I'm pushing them back and they won't fit back into the box. So.

But it did before. Right, before they got pulled out, and then now they're not squishing in there. So I was aware of what I was doing, but I didn't think I was being extra safe. There's no exposed wires. I wasn't pushing really hard, and I do know the breakers on. So I grab needle-nose pliers, and I grab the wires from the back of the outlet, and I just give them a little bend, right? Because they weren't bending the way I wanted. I'm over the plastic or rubber

or whatever it is to like basically prevent the wires from just shocking and setting on fire all the time so I just grab it with the needle nose pliers and give it a little bend and apparently when I did give them a little bend I

what is it like I didn't stab I fucked it up I cut through the wires just enough to create the circuit between my needle nose pliers and the white and hot wire I'm just standing there

and I just go boop and he just goes and I just goes like I'm going to stand there kind of like the like a fucking comedy movie like Sylvester and just

just in his face is blast yeah it's like yeah like when Looney Tunes like they think they're smoking a cigar but they're smoking dynamite and it shoots their face backwards and I just go my brain's there

but kind of also like god damn it I don't want to do this tonight and I just turn it and he goes and just stand there there, and I guess move the pliers back all slow and let go of it. And then I look at the pliers and they're gone. So I just blew up my needle nose pliers. And it was loud. And I'm just standing there just being like, okay. You're not dead. Yeah, you're alive. The lights are all off. So now I'm in the dark, just standing in the kitchen, thinking about my decision to not go

downstairs and turn off the breaker um and i go okay and i go and i get a uh a headlamp and come back out there and you know now i know the breaker's off so i'm good to go the way it should have been when i started and i cut the wires back past the damage because there was so much i just could do it from there so i cut like eight inches off this shit i while that's happening i'm thinking of myself I was like, if I would have got shocked, Cassie's not out here. I was like, I for sure would just be dead. Just laying on the cold on the floor.

Yeah, just laying there. Don't care. No one's around and it's over just some dumb shit. And I'm just thinking about that. I'm like, God, it's so, so ridiculous. And then, as I have a headlamp, Cassie comes out and she slides two, like, USB-charged lamps by me, like, trying to help out. And I take a little pause, and I look at her, and I go, I guess I almost died. And she goes, ooh.

Because she wasn't there. She doesn't know how scary it was. Being dramatic, Joe? Yeah. She just goes, oh, well. And then, like, while helping me, but we're still, like, in a little tiff. And then she just walks away. And then I'm like, all right.

And I just finish the job. But it's just so funny, like something like that. And it just a dumb little argument. And it could have been, you know, 10 minutes before she walks. back out there to see me laying in the dark dead she comes out to well i'm trying to think what she comes out to like steps over my body to get water joe nap it on the job that's enough yeah you couldn't even get him away from his computer now he's just fucking nap it on the kitchen floor you can't even die right god you make the

worst smell when you die oh my god you couldn't have died off to the side that is funny like when you think about that like you're sitting next to your spouse or whatever you're watching a movie and you're eating something or you're breathing too loud and just sometimes when you're if you've had fights or you're just in this weird spot as a couple

and they're just staring at you like there's watching you eat or breathe and they're so annoyed by you but like if you would have just died right then does any of that stuff matter does that fight you guys had make it into the obituary

yeah probably not yeah I know like how I mean we talk about petty beef um and it's it's a joke but it really is it's like you're fighting over the stupidest shit that doesn't matter ultimate like all in the grand scheme of things in the world doesn't matter at all but it matters to you guys in that moment enough where you just won't even talk to each other you'll you'll pass each other in the kitchen and not say a word because of some stupid fight you had that didn't you're saying matter about anything you're saying stuff and I'm saying stuff and you almost just exploded yourself. Yeah, then I also do think about like, how close was I really to getting a nice shock? Have you guys ever been electrocuted before that? Yeah, I've been electrocuted, but not by an outlet level electrocution. So 110 or 220? That's got to be 110. It wasn't 220. It wasn't going to something like that. It was just a normal, whatever it's called a G-C-U, whatever the regulated ones that have. have to be if they're by water or whatever they are yeah our hot tub has one of those where because i remember asking the guy i'm like my paranoid brain like what if something is weird

and can you get electrocuted in the hot tub and he's like no it it's made to be where anything happens it clicks off so fast it doesn't even give a time for electricity to i'm like well yeah in theory that's what's supposed to do what if it doesn't well if it doesn't your family's in the hot tub then it explodes your pliers Yeah. Big deal. Mm-hmm. Ooh.

Ooh. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I bet. I bet. Oh, my God. Did you get the thing I asked you to get done, though? Yeah, I did.

The outlets in. I mean, yeah, it's all plugged back in. It's working great. So anyway. Going back to you, the reason this whole thing started, though, is kind of funny because it is funny how, I feel like I'm tacking women lately. I really don't mean to But like

It's natural How relationships, men, women It always happens Wives or whatever Like Amher's done there before too Like well Like I'm in the middle of something She's like can you go grab the

The laundry Or grab the dry clothes and Put them in the You know The wet ones in the dryer And I'm like yeah in a minute Because I'm like doing something And then I was here like

Or like And then you hear gung down the stairs I'm like how How come I have to stop And how come all of a sudden you can do it. Right. But it's, it's that, it's that loud sigh and the do the thing to make a point, like, you couldn't just do what I asked you to do. It's like, I was going to do what you asked me to do. I'm also not a fucking lap dog. And sometimes I'm like, sometimes I feel like an

employee. Like, don't stop this project and go, go finish that other project because that needs to get done. That's enough. Yeah. And you're like, okay. It's like, I was doing something too. Why is what you need me to do more important than what I? I'm doing than what I'm doing right now. I wouldn't even think to do the same thing the other way. What you're saying without saying it is that your life is more important than mine. Uh-huh. You don't even know you're saying it.

It's like, well, you didn't do it. I asked. But you can't say, you can't say anything. You can't say that your life's more important than mine. You can't say that. Even though that's exactly what's happening, you can't say it. And I just, I saw this video the other day about like how, how if guys treat if guys treated other guys like women do the gaslighting between like no no no no

you're amazing you're like just how i some things have happened before where i feel like i have to say no it's but i'm like i'm totally just saying it because if i said what i really think i'm in huge trouble yeah yeah and the couch is uncomfortable yeah yeah sick of sleeping on the car so why am i on the fucking cove. Yeah, exactly. Because we'll, we will do it. And not complain about it. All right, let's move off to a big, fat, frothy fucking hog.

Are you ready? Uh-huh. All right. Ziz. Is it dumb? Is it interesting? Is it cool? Then it's dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.

Dich, d'loadia. Dick are growing. All right. What do we got here? um have you ever i mean i'm sure you have you know you're like when you're at a you're at a bar or like you're you're with your buddies and you're you're drinking and stuff and then a subject comes up and you're like you start you're like have you're you get in a heat of conversation you're like we're friends but we're going to argue like this fun yeah and for fun like it's the

biggest deal in the world and it's one of the funniest things you say that and immediately there's There's like two friends that we both love to just do that with each other. Like you'll scream at each other. Yeah. Like love you, but fuck you. You know what I mean? My brother, my brother-in-law and the other brother-in-law will be at a family get together

and we'll be screaming at each other to the point of the family. It's like, you guys have to stop. Like you're getting, and we're like, what? They're like, you're going to ruin Christmas. No, we're good. Like this, we're having fun. And they're like, it doesn't seem like it. Like, no, this is fun.

It is fun. so can be fun it can be fun yeah both people are participating right you got to be you got to make sure you're participating so let's see if how this one played out it seems similar

bar argument over how many eggs a chicken can lay leads to gunfire I mean that's that sounds like tequila yeah that sounds like a tequila argument doesn't it I love the the picture of the guy on the security camera he looks

like the guy from the going back to Looney Tunes the McCoy the Hatfields of McCoys like when you think about that West Virginia overall beard

that's the guy he looks like he walked into like a spirit Halloween with a different costume in mind but they didn't have it and so he had to do that I guess I'll be a crossover between Curious George and Amish guy

he looks like he should know how many chicken how many eggs of chicken ice up that's probably why he opened fire because he knew exactly the answer. Eight. Look, he's walking out and just carrying his handgun. What is he doing? An argument over chickens and how many eggs one can let...

I'm going to put these on just to make sure that I'm doing this, correct? There's the whole point of this, right? What, reading? An argument over chickens and how many eggs one can lay led to a shooting in Florida last week. I almost said shootout, which would be way. more intense than just a shooting. Police said a 44 year old man pulled a hand.

That guy does not look 44. I mean, it's a little blurry. Yeah. Yeah. Police said a 44 year old man pulled a handgun during the heated discussion and fired four shots at three people as they ran away. No one was hurt by the gun fire. Show a hands.

Who thinks it's fucking seven? And they like three hands go up and he's like, that's it. That's it. No one was hurt and gunfire Terrible shot Officials said three victims knew each other But I just met the accused shooter that night

So they're egging him on Oh They cracked him Mm-hmm Peter Riera Was arrested and faced multiple charges Including aggravated assault With a deadly weapon

Okay I love this story is short and to the point No other information needed It also gave more questions than answers because now I want to know how many fucking eggs can a chicken lay

and then what's the time frame what led to this like just in because you know how these conversations spitball what was the turning point the three guys and he's sitting at the bar

and he's like actually and they all look down he's at the end of the bar smoking a cigarette it's nine nerds no way excuse me and he goes over there

and AC Slater's the chair wearing that wearing that straw hat and fucking overalls? You're really going to question me? You're going to question me right now? You think I don't know fucking eggs? That's all I know.

I know eggs and fashion. You get some alcohol in the system. But you know what I mean, though, where it's just like everything's fine. They've met a new fellow. They've combined a little friend group and took him under his wing. Yeah! still got it and at one point maybe it was like you know three three a.m.

They're like oh man you haven't solved it yet no no no no it's a normal conversation it's just a normal friend talk and then one guy just goes oh man I'm going to head back I got to get up and make breakfast in the morning and think oh what are you making he goes well I got a couple more eggs in the fridge and then a chicken coop out back go see how many legs they a let or how many eggs they lay and then one guy goes how many do they normally lay and he goes I don't know like five or six

never seen more than that and he goes you've never seen more than five or six they can lay up to eight I've just never seen it you call me a fucking liar no I'm not saying you're not I'm not saying you're lying I guess I've never seen it oh so it's your reality

and that's all it matters and they go whoa whoa geez I'll make you a scramble And he's like Fucking scramble this Scramble this But just

You knew You know there was one thing That it could have The night could have continued And everyone just went home And somebody mentioned Fucking eggs And this guy would have none of it

He's like that's enough What was his name again? I was gonna His name is Peter Riera Like Peter Riera is way more That's not what I expected Having seen the guy

and knowing that he pulled a gun on him I was like I didn't expect that Not out of you buddy Popcorn Sutton That's what I expected Yeah that would do it You know who that is? No

Moonshiner back in the day He died Oh wow But I guess moonshining was pretty popular Out here in Liberty Lake Do you hear that? I didn't know that

I learned that of the internet Is that right now? Yeah All right moving off to our next Piece of hog here Our Romanian Inmate Hacks into prison

an IT system modifies sentences for others hell yeah this almost could have gone like into the like hooray were not doomed because I love the concept of it but also what stopped that from happening was the fact that you have to remember they're in there for some pretty

serious shit yeah there's a lot of people in prison for a reason like I'm like oh that's cool and like it's not all wrongfully accused like some dude that has like 15 rapes under his belt and 14 of them are actually confirmed he's like it's not even 15 yeah but 14 of them happened but it's not 15

and he's like that's a little my my sentence is a little high because 15 puts me over the limit so this guy broke in and he had access to the ability to modify the way that sentences were executed detention conditions and other rights

for 15 other inmates in other prisons oh not even just one prison? I mean, and the way that you think that they maybe viewed it was like, like, I told you if you put your faith in God. And it's just some hacker in another prison

getting some more oatmeal. And he's like, I prayed hard enough. Through him, anything is possible. He's like, thank you. And some guy's like, yes, yeah. Just fucking with things. Just having funsies. So they have a whole chronological

like order of events showing that the inmate allegedly renamed or remained logged into the system for a total of over 300 hours So that's quite a few hours During which time he was able to modify For himself and other inmate sentences Rights within the penitentiary

The visitation schedule Hey You want your ex to get in here this weekend That'd be great Bob All right no problem How much time you need I mean

Anything you want You want in a fucking Snickers bar I can get you some wine I am so he did that the visitation schedule and the money that are made are put into the accounts and used to make purchases inside the prison oh damn so you could make everyone rich yeah wondering like dude how was everybody getting so much money yeah imagine that after being transferred he logged in as an admin what was the password password password admin oh yeah admin admin admin just like you know when you get if you are into the IT stuff

you know that often when you get a new router the default is like it's admin admin and then you can just get into people's shit and change everything so this guy might not have been

a real good hacker yeah the walls could have been way down sure yeah yeah they got the new Wi-Fi at the prison and they just let Barb, set it up.

Mm-hmm. What were the big ones that he did? I, because I know that he, so 15 inmates were identified as having benefited from the inmates' action through reduced sentences, purchases, and money in their accounts, modifications of days from compensatory. What? Compensatory? What?

Appeals. Compensatory? Sure. And granting of visits. I don't do a whole lot of jail reading, you know. The inmates even had access. to security data, intervention recordings, and intended to clone the entire application. Jesus Christ, that guy had some access.

I know. Like, once you were in and they just threw it all on there, it's like having one little drop box and just all the information, all the records, you're like, no one will ever get these. But on the other side, 300 hours is quite a bit of time. but you're uh like whatever the position is when you're in a jail and you're you're checking people in and out and somebody walks up like all right my time's up when he's just staring at him he's like like flipping through his file he's like says you killed eight people mr kemper you're not supposed to ever get out of you no no no no he's like no no no check again check

again he goes i mean are bad open it up like just no one no one questions shit Yeah. Some guys, like, can I get like two Twix? Just put it on my card. It's like, all right. And he just rings it up and looks at the balance. It's like $600 million. And he's like, okay.

How about a round of Snickers for everybody? He's like, God, you must be kicking ass in the cleaning the library. Here you go. Wish I had a lot of license place out. I wish I had $3 million. Yeah, my first thought was thinking about like San Quentin, like just the roughest. fucking dudes gangster like biker gang

whatever whatever sort of gang you want to come up with in a dude that's just like fully face tat has murdered so many people and he walks up to leave and he's got like a six month sentence it says this is here

you got six months left and he's like yeah that sounds right he's never he's gone here yeah he's like hey yeah Rehabilitation these days I'm going to tell you what

But he's murdered Families Everybody Dude Damn I mean our bad You're supposed to get out of here Three years ago

And they start writing a check to him Yeah Fuck yeah I was Yeah Yeah that's Yeah Fuck yeah

I'm gonna sue this place There's no reason Joey Hogbone should ever be in here Can you write My motorcycle Put a motorcycle on there Whatever you say Mr.

Brand new Harley Hogbone Woohoo Oh man, good stuff Yeah, that's I mean, you can have some Real fun with that Think about getting it hacking Hacking into anything

And getting to change people's things Just subtle little things That no one knows is gonna happen So when you think about like Someone meeting up and it's like you change something Mm-hmm And it's fun Like how, think about that

Just how like Something something small Are you getting hungry with power right now? A little bit Okay Like just an airport Mm-hmm Well, I hear you.

All right, let's move off to our next dick. Okay. You want to read this one? No. Okay, do you want me to do it? No, I'll do it. You don't have your glasses on you? Like, I'm not willing to do it.

I'll do it. Okay. Give it to me. God, he's fucking pop-ups, dude. All right. The title of this article is called, They treat men like vending machines inside the hidden world of social media sperm selling. Is that a red flag?

Huh Huh After all the reports out there I just You know You know Joe Parenthood can seem An impossible dream for many

You know Yeah I can And online sperm donor groups Offer a solution But they can be a murky world Oh murky Is that a nice little

Things can get a little murky A little cum play A man going by the name Rod Kiss Me claims to have You can trust me Trust me The name's kiss me

Rod Trust me Kiss me Rod trust me kiss me Trust me kiss me Trust me is my middle name Claims to have Very strong sperm

In quotations It may seem like An eccentric boast For a Facebook profile page But then This is no mundane corner Of the internet The group where Rod

and other men advertise themselves Is a community where women and couples come in many cases to fulfill a lifelong dream, parenthood. Okay. Desperation. Right.

There's a growing number of online sperm donor groups on social media. They offer the people a chance of parenting children in an unregulated, dangerous, but surprisingly straightforward way. When you want to get pregnant.

But don't want to ask questions. When you want to get pregnant, but miss the thrill of, like the thrill of not doing, Doing it the right way. Right. Yeah. If you like to live left on the edge.

I mean, you could do it safely or. Dangerously. Or Facebook. Right. Facebook marketplace, but sperm. That's what it is. Membership of groups such as sperm donors UK, start a family. Start a family here.

And get your baby dust here. Who? Who would shove sperm up in them? When the title says get your baby dust here and they're just like I can trust this I just like how cheeky it is I can trust these people okay well I like how they're different yeah uh they're thriving Joe yeah this is due in part to the prohibitive cost of the official route through the human fertilization and embryology authority the HF EA regulated clinic look at those fucking glasses mm-hmm killing it Wow.

For those who do things by the book, the cost can easily run into tens of thousands of pounds, especially if they do not become pregnant at the first attempt. Okay, now I get it. Lengthy delays and shortages of donors from certain religious backgrounds or ethnicities also drive many towards unregulated means. Okay. That's right. When you put God in the way, man, it just puts up a lot of barriers.

I hear you. Usually through Christ, you can do anything except forget pregnant. My area seems to be a weird loophole Yeah Selling sperm for profits is illegal in the UK And donors are allowed to be compensated Only for legitimate costs And with the illegal route

Comes considerable risks And now the best paragraph Ever In the groups there are numerous posts from women Who describe having bad experiences One woman in the same sex relationship Said they met their donor to receive a sperm deposit Only to find he would not go through with the deal

Unless the couple showed him their breasts I gotta get something out of it Man That was the No no, I'll get right to it Just show me your fucking tits Or whatever How bad you want this baby?

How bad you want to You really want to have a kid? Show me your tits Just I got some beads Hell yeah And he's like I mean

No skin off my back and they're like no and he's like no come off my chest yeah he's like I don't care he's like well no I mean either way and he goes okay I'm just stats over walk so let's give a fuck yeah he's jerking off I mean it's supply and demand brother how bad you want this plus you don't even like dudes so what's a big deal yeah you know what I mean yeah one more paragraph more alarming still are their responses many of which tell the couple they should have gone to a sperm bake even if they did not want to have a threason with the donor.

Man. There are a little time for sensitivity, it seems, in the competitive world of online sperm selling. So that's out there. I never really thought about that. It's like, you got two choices. Show me your tits. If you don't want to do that. Both you fuck me. Then we got, you

both got a climbing sack and we're going to fuck. You can cover your tits up. Yeah, whatever. Whatever. And if you don't want to do that, I guess I'll see you back in the baby dust. Fucking baby dust. Group. Rod Kisby, signing off. I love baby desks.

Just add water. Just add water. Oh, yeah. Like instant mashed potatoes? Gross. Anyway, so that's out there. We can present the question. I'm not sure if anyone on either side of it.

If you're a dude listening, have you gotten involved in jerking off and sending it to some sort of online sperm bank situation? Or haven't been able to conceive, whatever it may be. you ventured into that because you want a kid so bad that you were like the legal way way too expensive too much trouble where's mr hogbone this is the the tough part about regulations is regulations are good they keep things in order but sometimes like because regulations and costs someone will find a way to profit off of people yes you got to go and it's like too expensive so

you got to go that route and then it's kind of like the abortion thing where well if I can't go illegally get an abortion I guess I'm going to have to go in a back alley somewhere with some dude in a fucking coat hanger ironically enough that other group is also called baby dust can I make that joke and there's a weird connection between people who really really want to have a baby and someone who is like

I don't want this thing yeah yeah yeah it's wild it's a weird world out there Joe I know I know it is buddy all right Good news is here speaking in for the golden geese Maggie Stokes George Tosato

The sofa king Neil Doverty Matt Johnston Jordan Holiday Jason Clacer Daniel Spatz Matt

Hugh Leonard Daniel Collier All right Golden Gooses thank you so much Thank you You guys are awesome That's that $100 tier, which is a huge help to make sure this show can keep going. And at the time, we have 10, all 10 spots are full.

If it ever drops off, patreon.com slash can you don't podcast if you want a chance to get in there. Get a personal thank you and then mention it in every single episode. You got jumping quick, though. Yeah. All right, you ready for some good news? It's time? I mean, it's jerking off online and trying to see some tits. Is that bad news?

That's good news for the people who are involved. Yeah, but some of the people that are involved. Who? The guys that just get to jerk off. That's pretty good deal. You're right. Zach! So you're telling me there's a chance.

Hooray, we aren't doomed. Yeah. Quick question for you, Joe. Hey. If you were legitimate, it was a legitimate business and you were selling sperm legally and you were making really good money for it, is there a better job than that? Than jerking off? and getting paid for it

uh yeah there's a better job because there's things I want to do if it's if it's strictly just like if my ambitions were just make money then I guess that's a fine job but I made enough money

like really good money I don't know and you could go you could travel the world do whatever you want just jerk off but all you got to do is just jerk off and send in a cup I feel like I'd feel empty yeah you'd feel really empty

from you know what i mean though like it just yeah but you're giving people i guess i could still do fulfilling things i could still have a podcast and make people i get what you're saying yeah i'm fulfilling orders yeah but uh having a worth and so yeah if i could do that for money and then do whatever i want yeah then i guess but uh taking your your hobbies your passions or whatever and turning it into a way of life also comes with a lot of self like accomplishment yeah but is there a better hobby jerking off and making money from it. I don't think you heard me. I heard you.

No, that's you to me. All right, let's take a look here. I just love this wheelchair user blown away. That sounds like he's injecting it into his veins. Like he's a fucking wheelchair user. I was thinking a big gust of wind sent this guy down the street.

By how new girlfriend's family changed home to make it more accessible. So he was taken back, not physically blown away. Yeah. In the quiet stretches of the upper peninsula, Serena Denson and her husband, Don Denson, own a property that holds both a family home

and three inviting cabins tucked among the trees. Since moving to Iron River, Michigan, two years ago, the Denson property has become a retreat from daily life where family and friends, including Serena's sister-in-law, Jamie Gausman, 45 can relax and recharge. Despite living four hours away from Madison, Wisconsin, Gossaman was eager to share that piece of her boyfriend for three months. I think you should read that again.

What I do? Share that piece with her boyfriend. With what I say? Shared a piece of her boyfriend. Oh my. Share that piece with her boyfriend of three months. Steve Emp 55, a two-time Paralympian who has been in a wheelchair since the age of 25. So we'll just watch this video here.

But the family, like as you can see here, like nothing. has been done but he like her boyfriend could not come and visit the house so they had to basically redo and build out the entire entrance and the inside to get them in and they're like yeah of course bring them up and then dad's like here we go this guy's like god damn i couldn't find a boyfriend that could walk around that's so sweet though because that's a lot of work he's doing a good job He didn't just, like, go out and get, like, a piece of, uh, a sheet metal. Uh-huh. That's a hell of a ramp.

Yeah. What if they break up? I know. And he's just like, God, damn it. Sorry, I can't help. You just get an invoice. Get an invoice for a bunch of lumber. You're like, fuck.

I know this is supposed to be good, but I just can't know of it. That dog's name is stink. That's my people. That's fun. Oh, yeah, brother. Good job. It's an old weiner. Yeah.

Look at that dog. Anyway, you guys can, you can look it up, but, I mean, they just redid the whole outside to make sure that the boyfriend could come and visit and not have it be a huge pain in the ass. So that, that restores a little bit of humanity for me. Yeah. Yeah. Moving on to something we found on the internet. Hey, Zach! The internet is pretty wild. Depending on your browsing habits, you can either experience something super cool or go to prison. Crazy, right? Let's check it out.

together as a couple hey look what i found yes that's awesome what the fuck was that were you dying over there well yeah what just what did you just accidentally play the computer oh he just goes what's that in the middle of the atrial i uh i uh i was queuing up the video oh what video are you doing the daddy slow down oh okay okay you want to go with that one yeah okay it's the other one The other one's funny, but this is just The video is so funny. It's insane.

Yeah. And I did, I mean, did not know that this happened for, like, so first of all, our daughter, Aaron sent it our way. And Red Bull, if you're familiar with it, you might have seen, like, some of the Red Bull, they shove them off the end of a dock, and they have to try and fly as far as they can to win some trophy. And they have, like, soapbox races, apparently. and this particular fucking thing is so funny my god I was dying I was dying okay but if I if you have seen that you can look up

I think it is Red Bull soapbox races if you want to take a peek at it but all right ready for the video boy am I Zach you've never seen this right no oh my god get ready I've seen stuff like this but not this one this so good

a real man on the front in case you think it is down they go that really steep part and oh he's gone straight away so it has like a robot now you can tell it's definitely not a real man he's still peddley part of the circuit he slams his feet he's gone face first into the hay bales the mannequins seem better days and there's still quite a way to go it's one of the funniest ones i've seen getting a big push down from behind with perch the feather up on the punch of the bike. Let's have a look at the time

if they can make it. Push him up again. That's it. Get down towards the finish line and there we go. Oh my God. What's happened? Reving soaked up choices is also for dummies. He did what his head pull of his body

kicks up? Oh my God. Just imagining if that was a real person like this was just the tour to France. It's just like this part this front shot though. When the helmets I've seen on the side of getting a big push now from behind which perched the front of the function of the bike.

Let's have a look at the time. Wait, come on. This shot right here. When you see this straight on, it's... What it reminds me of now is... What it reminds me of now is...

Like, that's funny itself, but it reminds me of, like, what AI does when you try to give it prompts, and it just gives it terrible. Make this look as real as possible. It's like, you got it. It's like, burn and durn. Oops, missed it.

Oh, so goddamn fine. You guys have to look that. up. What was the soapbox Daddy slow down. Yeah. But just look it up. It's hard to explain. But the driver of this whole bicycle robot situation, like, isn't a baby carrier

and he has control over all of it on like some screen. And he just keeps eating shit and falling apart. And everyone's laughing. It's amazing. So go look it up. All right. Time to hear from the children. The kids, Zachary. Hey, you guys.

All right, let's hear what you guys think. Really? You want to talk to me? Wow, that's cool. All right, you ready to do this one, buddy? Wow. Our first email is coming in from our daughter, Kayla, who writes, Hey, Dads. I'm listening to your most recent episode, and you're talking about Brian,

driving at night and hitting construction cones. I made this, uh, it, it made this wonderful memory resurface. So back in about 2014, I was in the military. My job was a truck driver. and we drove the biggest trucks in the military known as H.E.T's heavy equipment transportation. Getting that H.E.T.

Sounds like a big outfit. Yep. Looks like a hard one to hide. That's right. They are big eight-wheeled tractors that haul a trailer with 30 wheels. It's too many wheels. The trailers of these trucks

are wider than a lane on a road, so we would always be going over the white line when we drove them with the trailers. Well, one of the first exercises driving the truck, I was the very first truck in line. So, this is going to go great. We were coming back from the training exercise out of state in the passenger seat was my sergeant who loved to joke around with me. Well, we had to go through a construction zone that basically went to one side, then to the other side, then back to the same side. And somehow, a minivan had ended up in the middle of our convoy.

Like Clark Griswold just showing up in there. They were right behind me. I, being a novice truck driver, was not very good at controlling the trailer. And in the construction zone, they had those big barrel-sized traffic cones. Oh, yeah. The back of my trailer was hitting every single one of the trucks behind the minivan. We're watching and keeping score as if it was a video game. Apparently, I almost hit the minivan with cones about three times.

James! And I developed the nickname Cone Killer. Oh, yeah. The sergeant in the passenger seat was just laughing. and monitoring the score. Hope y'all like my ridiculous story from my good old army days. Love your cone killing daughter, Kayla.

God. So when I read that, all I could think about was what's in that minivan. Mm-hmm. What's going on? Yeah. Dude,

in a black minivan following this. Being like, oh, man, Joe's dad's never making it. Mm-hmm. Is he on his way? Good thing he's already dead. This is a nightmare. Right.

But have you ever, like, zoned, I guess we all do. You zone out when you're driving. And then all of a sudden, you're just like, whoa. How did I get here? Yeah, but you're also, like, in a weird spot. Like, if you were paying attention, you could clearly see coming up, there's a million cars that are trying to get on the freeway. But you're just kind of hanging out in the right lane. Oh, yeah.

It's been like, this is going to be fine. And then before you know it, there's a semi-truck next to you, and a million cars trying to come in. You're like, fuck. And it's like, you wake up in a panic. Yeah. And that's what it reminds me, this minivan. He's like, oh, just getting over there going to see the grandson, and then snaps out of it. And he was between the biggest military convoy. He's like, oh, God.

Yeah. It's like you're in a Fast and the Furious movie. He's going to get caught up in the war. He's going to be in the front lines now. He goes, well, I'm part of the convoy now. I didn't sign up for it, but I'm up for it. I'm up for it. That's my daddies, do we say.

Yeah. You want to take this next one, Brad Guy? Sure. Let's do it. It's coming from our son, Justin. Hey, this just in This just in Sup turdbirds

I love that It's Justin and I'm a first time Long time Welcome to the party I'm currently listening to Mayo Meltdown Lenscrafters 100 million airport lounge And when you guys mentioned the lady That was smoking crack in the hospital

I knew I had to share my wife's story I love how a story like that It's like someone's like Yeah yeah I can relate I haven't written into the show fucking ever, but now I have to. So my wife is a nurse in Oregon, beautiful Oregon. And a couple of months ago, she had an incident at work.

It's from the subject line. You can possibly guess what comes next. It was a normal day in the hospital when suddenly the day took a turn. The hospital staff had an incident of an unruly patient. Now, why was he unruly, you ask? well because he was told he couldn't continue to smoke Get going

God damn it Brian That was good In the hospital Now this is Now the silly goose Has his buddy bring him meth And a pipe to the hospital Because he couldn't leave to get it himself

He's got a meth guy He's got a runner He's got a great meth guy Yeah he does I said bringing it into your hospital bed. Once confronted about it. It's okay. It's not about being able to see.

This is the problem. You've done a great job today. Once confronted about him actively smoking meth while he was admitted. See? But why are you putting periods all over the place? Why is it? Because I can't read. Once confronted about him actively smoking meth while he is admitted to the hospital,

his response was, what's the big deal? I'm not in the oxygen room. I'm not in the oxygen room, which is fucking bananas, banana lands because every room has an oxygen connection. And, which is the most important one, he was smoking meth in the fucking hospital.

Yeah. What's the big deal? I still can't believe this happened. I'm on the daycare. Right. You're still smoking meth, sir. I'm an adult. Yeah.

I still can't believe this happened. And I also can't believe how the whole staff was just like, yeah, that'll happen sometimes Keep up the good work I appreciate all you guys do mostly Fair enough, Justin P.S. Keep your fucking kids out of the breweries.

Whoa. How would Also, I feel compelled Uh, how would you like it if I smoked a cigar and slammed a beer at a kid's playground while they were playing? Yeah, that's that logic is airtight, Justin. Oh, you'd say maybe

not the time or place? Well, The brewery is a playground for adults like myself with a healthy minor alcoholism and an unhealthy coping mechanism for feelings sent for my neighbor Samsung Smart Fridge. Just out of nowhere. Just a attack on children. Anyway, don't smoke fucking. Don't smoke meth in the hospital. P.S. Fuck your kids!

God, it's kind of like Kanye going, George Boyd doesn't like black people. Yeah, you're like, well, where's that going from? Talking about the nominees. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, you get it. And I do love the sign off there sent for my neighbors. Not just your own, but you went over. You went all the way over there to send this.

Well, thank you guys. That was a fun show. Hopefully you guys had a blast. If you have something you want to see on the show, the email again is, hey, guys, a can you don't podcast.com. Thanks for all the support on Patreon. Got to keep hitting those goals.

Got to rip through the honkathon. Right and review us wherever you listen to the podcast. It truly does help us out when people get there. and see a bunch of ratings. Thanks to Uncle Zach for all the cards he makes. And for coming in here and producing the show today, go pick up the SCATCAST. Can You Don't Crossover Package.

Come, go grab the package. Can you get the package? Can you? Right at the top of the website, scatcast.com. Oh, yeah. And a shout out to the babysitters that moderate the Can You Don't Playground on the Facebook. Dude, I swear to God, every other time I get on Facebook, I get a notification that's like, hey, you might want to check this out.

You're like, eh, things are getting a little saucy in there. And I just ignore it. And then it hasn't. And then it resolves itself. Yeah. It's the best, you know, it's the best thing to do. It doesn't go away. Sometimes that's one of the best mentalities in all of life.

It really is. Like, I can get really worked up about this or if I just let it go for a bit, it's probably it'll be fine. Sometimes if I just go to bed and I wake, it'll work in the morning, you know, it'll just fix it itself. You get it. All right, Zach, let's wrap this baby up. D.

Good God. Wrap it up already, huh? I saw this. I was going through, like, the newspaper the other day. Uh, what? And I saw this. You were reading the newspaper? I didn't.

This is the joke. Oh. Premature ejaculator seeks a young, attractive woman for a fling. Must have large tits, big lips, a tight ass, and... Never mind. That worked. that's pretty funny yeah anyway

so there's that I love how he was writing the ad and then never he sent it off nope just came just got it out of the way all right we're heading off to the bonus content if you support us on Patreon that's how you get the bonus content if not we'll see you guys next week

bye You know,