Can You Don't? - Can You Don't? | Oil Change. Thailand. Tree Trimmer. Secret Video.

Episode Date: September 9, 2026

How backwards do things have to be in this world for you to catch your wife cheating... but you're the one that ends up going to jail? Let's talk about that, answering a WYR that makes everyone uncomfortable, accidentally smashing your co-worker's head because you're making shadow puppets, why do oil change places show you everything they are doing, and more on today's episode of Can you Don't?!Vote for the cute baby: https://babyoftheyear.org/2026/emily-ea56*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://www.patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast ***New Episodes every Wednesday at 12pm PSTWatch this episode YouTube: https://youtu.be/CnXfCpizB8oSend in segment content: [e-mail]: http://canyoudontpodcast.comMerch Inquires: [e-mail]: http://facebook.com/canyoudontpodcastIG: http://instagram.com/canyoudontpodcastYouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wyt5rtOfficial Website: http://canyoudontpodcast.comCustom Music Beds by Zach CohenFan Mail:Can You Don't?PO Box 1062Coeur d'Alene, ID 83816Hugs and tugs.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Oil change. Thailand. Tree Trimmer. Secret video. You boys feeling silly? You boys feel like doing a fun little show here? Episode 221. 221.

Of the Can You Don't podcast. Right here from Beautiful. Your house. Comfort on the ceiling. You can't see podcast studio. Is that a... That's an old comforter I found in a box. What do they call that, though?

Ross Special. Were they, it's the... Fuck, go ahead. What is it? Where they got the hole in the duvet. Oh. Is that a duvet cover? I would never.

I would never waste a good duvet. Mm. On the podcast studio sound treatment. Duvet. Sending your content suggestions to can you don't podcast.com. Yeah. When you get the cheeks going and the smile, you get the cheeks going?

I can't handle it. Hey guys at can you know podcast.com. Thanks to everyone who's supporting us on Patreon. Of course, it's amazing. We were so close. We were probably within two of reaching our next goal. We're going to figure out what the next goal is. If you guys hit Zach Cam before we figure it out,

Zach will get a camera. Head over to patreon.com slash can you know podcast. And then we hit like, it was yesterday. It was like September 2nd. And it just dropped off like 10. So strobing videos live. So go enjoy that wall. Yeah.

Well, they've seen it. Yeah, the Patreon has seen it. Well, yeah, they have. I'm talking about everybody else. Everyone else that's right there on our YouTube. Right there and just had the premiere today. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, Joseph, if you slap your computer a little bit. Or kick this thing down here? Slap the bejesus out of it. I can start. That's worse. That's much worse. Okay, that worked. Great.

Top-notch. Good foot her on the ceiling. That's like Nintendo stuff right there. much this fucking studio cost i wish it all comes down to one little connection doesn't it really fuck it all up oh man that fucking maverick grito starting to hit my stomach what does that mean

like not in a good way oh yeah it just kind of hurts look at that this is kind of like sharp pains yeah how do you bright guy got us all little maverick burritos today which i shouldn't eat i feel okay because i didn't eat shit so uh yeah

full of salads i was worried about zach I got into burrito and then we got here. I'm like, oh, you know what? He's been trying to be all healthy. And he can't say no. He loves a good burrito. Can't turn down a burrito. But as far as gas station burritos go.

That's the high quality. That is a Michelin 5 star. I mean, there's a chef back there making them. There's something back there. I saw her. I looked her in the face. Chef. Chief, maybe.

Do they have a hat? Have a cool hat? Yeah, she had a hat. It was a Red Bull hat. It was a backwards No Fear hat. Is what this chef had? I think she was wearing a backwards hat.

Of course she was. In a nose ring. She makes a hell of a burrito though. She did. So shout out to her. Great burrito. Thank you. You.

Anyway, quick update before we get going. Just holy shit, it's happening. Brian, you and I made and we talked about it on the show. Not quite saying that it was going to be to AI levels. But we made a funny video about

just calling 911 and having to sift through like a menu option. Yeah, during a middle of an emergency. Right. Like shit is falling apart and you've got to press two. If it's a commercial or residential fire or whatever it may be. Fire. The reason I'm

talking so slow is because apparently my fucking link is not going to work anymore. Why does this happen? He's trying to kill time while it? Yes. I was like, you fucking remember? all those good times we had Brian. It just keeps seeing your refresh.

You're like, God, damn it! Fuck! I think Brian might have it. Is it a hot chicken a dress? Yeah. That's not it.

No, it's not what I picked. Norlands hoping limited AI use could speed response for emergencies. Mm-hmm. It's going to be great. Go ahead and give us a little update on how this is going.

If you call 911 in Norlands, you may hear the sound of an artificial intelligence, agent answering your call instead of a human voice. Ha ha ha ha ha. It sucks. The Orleans Parish Communicated District.

Communication District. Where you fucking? The OPCD. Just put them on. Thank you. Has used the intelligence to handle some, not all. Emergency calls and nonolins mainly related to auto incidents. Let me forge you to a real human.

Joe. The OPCD for two years. has accused this tool designed to reduce the volume of calls just turn it down what you guys do human dispatchers must handle which is over a thousand emergency calls a day

fuck am I right that's crazy just bonking around the city you're not in bumper cars guys excuse me what are people doing I don't know the department

says it receives numerous calls about a single auto incident. It uses AI to filter non-important calls. Can you? Yeah. Are you bleeding out? Hi. No. Hi. Are you calling about auto accident on Cherry Lane?

Press one. Beep. You're late. We've had eight other reports about auto accident on Cherry Lane. If you have any other additional questions, price is zero.

Are you? missing any body parts. Yes. Do you feel concussed? Do you feel concussed? Are you forgetting what day it is? Today is. September 11th.

Never forget. 2,026. Never forget. You get it. Call back. 25th anniversary. The 25th anniversary party in the park. When you get done with your concussion,

you're calling for more information on the 25th anniversary. Head down to City Park for a fun celebration. Food vendors, live music, good times, family fun. Press 2 to disconnect. Please stay on the line for an additional survey. Let me know how I did. Ha, ha, ha, ha, Brian. Fuck. It's happening. In Spokane's looking to do the same fucking thing. Just a room full of robots sitting in there. They called again about Cherry Lane. We already know we've known for hours. It's just, it's going to be a nightmare.

And yes, I understand. It's going to eventually be very helpful and sift through the bullshit so that our resources and taxpayer monies can go to the actual emergencies. But you called, you're like, are you aware of the, we have heard. heard about, we've heard about Godzilla on the building. Godzilla? We've heard about Hong Kong. We've heard about Kongong on the building.

You are the 18th person to call about gorilla on the skyscraper. I don't know. You are the 19th person in the queue to call about gorilla on skyscraper. Please hold. They'll never change that. Yeah.

Beb, bat, ba, da. Press zero. And we will call you back at a good number. Is the right number 509, 382? To talk about gorilla on skyscraper. Fucking infuriating. Dude, it'd be so bad. You're bleeding from your ear.

It's just like, no, I'm next to Gorilla on skyscraper. I'm not calling a... I am calling a... about it, but he threw a window. He threw a person. A plane hit a building adjacent to gorilla.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. I've seen that movie before. Seen that before. Call you back. God damn, dude. Anyway, so that's wild. It makes me think about I don't know if you've seen those robots that have been racing. Yeah, no. Yeah, no.

And crashing into the wall and stuff. And then, so now I'm visualizing like AI commentary of that. So robots doing commentary about robots racing on a truck. Cross finish line kept running bounced off a bag. Nailed it. Broken half. Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh. Coming from the first annual race in Cardaline. It's like, no, it's not. It's Cordillane. Quardlein. Quardlein. Quardaline. Thank you. joining us first ever robot race in

Coordaigne. Does no one knows how to fucking spell it or say it? From Spokane. We are proud to announce the first race from Spokane. We're broadcasting live all the way from Spokane to

Coordalee. Spokane to Gwardine. Thank you for joining us. Good day. Good weather. 65 degree day, hey. Let's watch these robots run. Ha, ha, ha. Things might get a little weird in the future. I'm excited.

I'd watch it. Yeah. I'd drink a fucking bud light while my AI made brings me one. Doesn't it feel like the NFL was trying to get you ready to watch robot football since the 80s or 90s? They're just like, look at these robots that have nothing to do with football. Yeah. You're like, it's coming. Get ready.

I remember playing that robot baseball game. Yeah. Yeah. And you would steal a base and you'd have to. Fight your robots. You be the R2D2 that was running between bases with their arms out? Sly. I'd watch that.

Out! We got a plumply pumped, piss-blistering meat candle of a dick. Jesus. On the show today. What a description. Super flung. I'm just the normal flung. All right, let's get this shit rolling.

Zach. Shut up. Start the show already. Yeah. I know. Okay. That's enough. That's enough.

That's for the listeners at home. I'll take it from here. Oh, that made me queery. They're all at home. That'd be weird if they were in here. That's for the listeners in the studio. All you listeners here. Hiding in the walls.

We have been putting off. I still think we should put this off longer. I'm out. It has been sitting in our inbox for three years. And I've read it many times And I go, no, no, no. No way. Joe.

Once you start me on the robot shit, yeah, I know. And we just haven't done it. And I came across it again. Does Ethan still listen to the show? I have no fucking idea if Ethan's even alive. Ethan could be graduated

to death. If you write something like this is a good chance you're high. But also, have you met the internet? Yep. Okay. We didn't write this. Okay?

To all of our sponsors that put ads on our show every week, better help. Whoever you are, go find Ethan. They need you. Ethan needs you better help. Okay? Ha ha ha ha, ha, ha, ha, better help. We didn't write it. Here we go.

Would you rather? Still time to change it. Here we go. Would you rather? sleep with a willing 15 year old Zach we're not done yet

or sleep with an unwilling 85 year old it's upsetting all the way around I'm aware but that's kind of the part that makes it hard I dig the show the only saving grace about this is that 15 is close

I mean an 85 close to death yeah oh boy 15 is still very bad, but it's not as close as it's in the ballpark, 17, 11 months and 25 days. Jail! Can't even drive a car yet, legally.

At 15? You can in Idaho? Yeah. Well, oh my God, I just realized this gets worse and worse. This is the age of Pepper. This is great. So Pepper's hottest friend? So this is getting really.

real close to home all of a sudden. Well, welcome to Can You Don't Podcast. This just went from, could be anybody to... It's Joe. She sleeps right over there. Down the hall. To do her bedroom is

25 feet away. Oh. But to be honest, Pepper wouldn't sleep with you. She has higher standards. Okay. So there's that. That's good to know.

Because you were thinking about it? You don't want to waste money on flowers. Oh, I don't want to do this. This is why it sat in the fucking inbox for three years, dude. But why did it resurface now? Why?

Because I just happened. It just got way too. That's the point. Welcome to hell. You know I'm going to push you, buddy. So, I think sometimes when you refresh the inboxes in the folders that jumps down, and this one jumped down when I got in there.

And I was like, oh, what's this little fella? What's this guy doing? What's this guy doing? Why we use this one? It's like when you find your keys. What's this old guy doing? Okay. We're focusing, hold on.

Let's step back and again, like you said, I get it. Like, how are you going to deal with the legality of it? Because, Zach, please help. Joe's trying to justify this. I'm not justifying anything. Well, he's from an outside. standpoint. Let's look, let's go back in history. Like, look at civilization.

Nope. People are fucking nine-year-olds. Like, if you can, if you can, fuck, you can suck or whatever my dad used to say. He said something like that. But it was, like, they were doing this shit all the time. And then we were like, hey, knock it off. Alabama never stopped. Alabama was like, let's just keep going.

Let's just keep doing what we were doing. Fuck the man. But we have been conditioned to not do that. Because the difference between 15 and 18 is crazy. Says who? Abraham Lincoln? Yeah, I mean, you're right. That's, I mean, I get the logic there.

I know, I'm just trying to stick with me here. Yeah, I just. No. Oh, man, you're mad. This is. We're doing a thought experiment. No. Ethan made us.

I didn't do this. I feel like anything I say It can't come out. It can't be taken any other way. That's what the 85 year old says. The degree of difficulty. The idea of even just entertaining it makes you sound great.

Like just a monster. It's a good person. But I feel like I did say it early on when I said at least the saving grace is that 15 is full of a very controversial topic. Right. Because it was the first thing in pot to my head, I was like

If they were 12, no way. If like 12 is still elementary school. At least 15 is high school. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. End of middle school. Freshman, sophomore. It's the summer between middle school and high school. No.

You want to go to the lake? You want to go to the beach? Pretty girl. You want to go to a hot topic? We can't. sucks. Go buy an emo shirt at Hot Topic. God. You go to the mall for dinner,

take her to Hot Topic, get like a Cinebond. A slice of pizza. Sabarro's. Just listen to her and just talk about something you don't understand. Knowing that that's got to happen later on. But she's willing. But she's... God!

Let's flip to the other side. Yeah. Can we please? Can we please? Let's roll this Let's roll this over. Sleep with an unwilling. We'll come back to the other one. No, we're not. I hope to never come back.

Because I don't know. You're right. But it's willing. She's like, I love you. We can spend her life together. That is a little different than an unwilling 85-year-old. I mean, she's frail. Dude.

I mean, unwilling is loose. Like, nope. It wouldn't be difficult. I was going to say it wouldn't be hard. I'd be rock hard. Yeah. She's like, don't. You're like, please.

Yeah. She's trying to fight you off. And you, yeah. You accidentally pin her down? You're just there? It just doesn't take much. Oh, my God. It comes down, like, rape an 85-year-old.

my god when you say when you don't you don't say it unwilling is that i know but when unwilling if she goes to the police just take away her walker yeah she's not going anywhere just take off her life alert you take off her life alert and hanging up on the wall put it on your neck god damn it oh this is why you can't give us these things even It's just, it's rough And we might lose some listeners I'm trying, okay, so you, the 15 year old, you put a face to it So let's put a face to an 85 year old woman

So Dolly Parton was 80 Don't you She was 80, but she didn't It was Dolly Parton, so she, her face You gotta think about a regular looking 85 year old I need to help woman I'm gonna take a peek

Look up a Let's spiral this further down the hole. Average 85 year old female body. Guilf.

That's BeyondGilf. BeyondGilf.com. Grand gilf. Oh. Okay. What do you got there? Pick it. Okay.

Well, I mean, I picture this. Oh, my God. This? This? Put your crochet down top for dick. She's playing... What are you knitting me a condom? God.

Why are you knitting me a condom? She's playing bridge with her friends. And you just walk up and grab her wheelchair. Fuck! No! No! Just! Oh, he has to listen to all the stories, too?

Oh. This is officially the worst can you? Well, I mean, yeah. It's the worst can you don't. It's the... It's the... It's the one. from Titanic.

She's telling you this story about... Yeah, but she had a diamond. Yeah, but she... She was kind of... She seemed like a frisky woman. So... Okay. She might be unwilling, but

she might submit. Yeah. Eventually. I'm just going to get a little more... More peeker. Please don't! No, it's an old British woman. Sorry, did you say, please do? Ah, this is awful.

Ethan, fuck you. But I'm glad it got it out of the way. It's deleted. Anyway, what's your answer? God,

I wish I could, I wish I could let myself, um, there's not, there's not going to be a safe answer. No, there's not. And I,

and I, I really want to play in this playground for the comedy aspect of it. So does the 15 year old. Yeah. And the grandma watching her great, grand, Yeah, she's just happy to be there.

Another beautiful day. She's happy to be alive. I don't know what tomorrow brings. Happy for my grandkids. You go to the nursing home and you're like changing her diapers and getting her in a good mood. You're sitting there eating dinner at 4 o'clock.

No, I know. But this is just, it's on your time. You're not worried about what she's doing. You're changing the diaper. for your own good. This is selfishly. This is self-serving. This is self-serving anal.

Oh, you're such a sweet boy. Am I? You have no idea. You have no idea how fucking hard I am. Oh, God. This is rough. Hmm. Well, I'm not going to say it.

I have so many thoughts. And you just don't want to ask the questions. I just, I can't detach enough. It's like, I'm... The sex is going to be better. Which way? Ah, yay. What do you fucking think?

you fucking kidding me I didn't want to say it you made me you pointed the gut at me and you made me say it and obviously I'm talking about God can we move on pinning down a grandma she just showed any pictures of her grandkids

you don't want to do this I'm fucking how do you know that I'm fucking coming St. Peter's gonna bring this up when we get to the pearly gates and be like this episode Bring it up to Ethan.

I guess if she had dementia, make it easier. Yeah, she doesn't. I want you to remember fucking all this. She's still sharp. You're going to save so much money on face lotion. Fucking coming on it. Coming into canyons.

Little creases by your eyes. Let's pull. Do we have that? Gell. Which one do you think you could get away with? No. Guys. I don't want to be here either.

Too bad. No. I don't think I want to be here. I think we're doing our due diligence. You produced this show. It'd be easier to get away with the older woman. So I'm going there. Fucking sex is six.

Yeah. The other way around, it's, uh... Yeah, turn it over. It's, she's willing, but eventually it's going to come out. Like, it just, you know, you're, it's it's gonna the cat's gonna get out of the bag and everyone's gonna know it

with that one that's legal legal but isn't either way is rape but raping a kid what's the my camping bus search for this I feel like it'd be easier if it was if it was a boy like somehow

yeah because you teach him about sports and like what it's like to go to Penn State oh That's an old joke Is that still play? It still plays

Okay Is that all this? You guys got it Yeah, it's like a decade old That's like over 20, Almost 20 years old 20 years old. 20 years old.

20 years old, how old am I? Isn't it close? When Joe Pa? Joe Pa was, I'm pretty sure I was driving tractor when that went on Because I was listening to We're searching

We're searching two great things Yeah, I'm searching more jail time For fucking a minor Or an old lady And you're searching Raping kids in college football You're poor Wi-Fi.

Dude. Nothing wrong with thinking Moretale time And state controversy I'm just going to type that in Mm-hmm Mine's longer This is hard

Minor or Raping your grandma It has to go through your NSA 2011 so 15 years ago Okay Ah This is too much Jerry Sandusky

It's just giving us Like statutory rape for Arkansas. I mean he says, nothing on the books. Just kidding. So Jerry Sandusky

is 80, 82 years old. Is he still? So he's in the ballpark for the For the dig. And his wife is Dottie. We don't have to answer this one. Ethan,

I'm so happy to get your fucking email out of our inbox. So, can you pull us that real quick? Don't. So this is, this is Dottie Sandusky. Oh.

So she's 83. So, she's in the she's but again unwilling right but so was sandusky's victims yeah yeah we're not talking about them daddy sandusky what a name dotty sandusky that's a name you could just sounds just sounds good coming off the tongue comment comment no comment I'm not gonna not gonna say let's just move on yep we don't have to do this let's get out of here it's out of the way we're great oh shit No, not him. For the golden geese.

Stephen Guerrera. E. and tres. Jason Glacer. Kelly Geiger. Matthew Leopard. Lerbran. Jordan Harroddy. Neil Defar.

Annual. The Count King. Tartlandh. Thanks for sticking with us through that shit. Let's move on. Six. Fuck. Hey.

Hey, what's up, babe? What are you thinking about? You know, nothing. Actually, you know what? I'm thinking about a lot of shit. What are you thinking about? I feel dirty even. But it kind of feels good.

It does, but it's like, it's weird because I feel like, for comedy, I wish I could have let myself just go there. But I would have, like, I can't, I don't know if I could let that be out there on the, for everyone to just hear. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, I clearly don't care. All right, moving on. So, with all my driving for a work job, right,

I got a 45, 50-minute commute every morning at 3.45, 4 o'clock in the morning. It's not funny. Loving it. Why are you laughing? Because you sound so pumped about it. Thanks. Hey, those ratings are good, though, yeah. Things are going good.

Yeah. Yeah, we're kicking ass right now. So apparently I'm good at reading and whatever. And the car maintenance has gone way up. So I know that, you know, obviously, gas. No, I don't. God, we're not doing this again. Maintenance?

No, I don't know. No, you have wheels. And you have to do anything. Okay. So wheels, oil, gas. Nope. Fluids. Nope.

Oh, you just float around? Yep. Can't wait for you. The only fluids I need are. I can't wait for you. windshield wiper fluid. I can't wait for your fucking batteries to explode with your family inside of it. Can you don't?

Episode 221. It's unique for reasons. Just kidding. I hope it doesn't happen. Jesus Christ. I didn't mean it. You know that. You realize your engine could explode too, right?

Yeah, but I get oil. Your batteries are just ticking time bombs. That's on Jiffy Loop then if that happens. Mm-hmm. Tell that to my 85-year-old wife. What? She gets all the inheritance. Getting my oil changed. So I've had to do it multiple. It's like for how much I drove before, it was like a once a year with the amount of miles I was putting on my car before this adventure.

And I've had to do it multiple times in the last three months. This last time I went was so funny to me. And again, just being who I am. And if you've ever gone to one of these like, like quick lube, super lube. Right? Like they're just, they're fast with it. That's the idea. We'll get you in and out in 10 minutes.

Get you in there. It's faster than Jiffy. It's the new one. They've really ramped it up. They have multiple bays, right? Where you park behind them and they come out and they're like, you fucking, yeah, yeah. So is jiff is not a jiffy anymore. Like, right?

They've set the bar for what a jiffy is now. He's about 25 minutes. I was just there. Oh, my God. Get fucked. Yeah, Jifil loop. That sucks. So they've gotten faster with Vax.

They have multiple bays. And they're just ripping these vehicles through there. And this last time I went, which was, yeah, a couple weeks ago, pulled into like one of those. I think it was like valvling quick change, whatever they call it. Some catching. All I know is that I keep on getting coupon sent to me. I was like, I don't need it that much. I just got one like two weeks ago

I don't need another oil change I'm set and I look at the mileage and I'm like fuck I guess I maybe do need one because I drive too much and while I was getting my oil changed I was also doing work I was doing emails and sitting there

and if you've ever been to one of these establishments you know that they just show you stuff right while you're getting your oil changed they will just like pull shit out of your car and then walk up and show you it. Are you still sitting in the driver's seat? Yes. So you're in the bay and you're sitting

your car, windows down. And if it's not down, you have to roll it down every time. They want to come show you some shit. And they pull like your filter out. Look at this. Filter. Look how dirty it is. And they do that and they have like readings on the different fluids that you have. They ask if you want this or that. And they

just show you different things that you can do. They probably have to. Stop it. That's part of my story. Okay. So I'm doing this and he's pulled out like two or three different things. He's come up to the window to talk to me about it while I'm just on my phone doing work. And I go, mm-hmm.

And look at him. And he pulls my filter out. And he comes up and he shows it to me. And he goes, look at it. He goes, take a peek. Take a peek at it. And he goes, looks pretty good. And I went, yeah?

I looked up. I go, hey, you don't have to keep doing this. And he goes, I do. Oh. And I go, what? He goes, I have to. I was like. Okay.

And he disappeared. And we had a good laugh about it. I was like, you don't have to keep doing this. And he goes, actually I have to. They're watching me. And he walks back up with the dipstick.

And like, I didn't even look at the dipstick. He's looking at his eyes. He's like, trying to hold in our laughter so hard. See how dark it is? Yeah. He goes, well above the line.

I was like, Yep, looks great. He just stared at each other, and he's like, I'm just laughing at it. And he's had to keep on doing it, like, over and over for all the different fluids and shit. God, it made me so loud. I made me laugh so hard.

And, like, pulled my windshield wipers up and, like, rubbed them, right, to make sure they were good. And he stares at me. Then he goes, they look good. And I was like, thanks, dude. And he starts laughing and slaps it down. I love it, because he's, In on it with you now.

So every little thing. You don't have to keep doing this. Actually, I do. If I want to keep working here at valvling quick, quick-lood. Quick-y-lube. I have to show you all the things I'm doing. As funny as that is, it makes sense because it's such an industry where they're like, all your in-line specs are bad.

You've got to get a new set. Oh, that sounds bad. That sounds terrible. We can't do it, but now I can show you what they look like. This is what this looks like, this and this one. And I get it. It's like the customer thing. But then that also elevates to the business model of the oil change place.

Right. So some exec came in. Who knows how much they spent on figuring out what that was? Yeah. But just they were like, listen, we're finding a 12% increase. if you shove their air filter through their window and show them how dirty it is. They will replace it.

And they're like, mm-hmm. All right, great. So how many locations we have? We have 7,500 locations. Great. Shove all the air filters in their fucking window and show them how dirty it is and see if they want another one. Like, great.

And he's been doing it for years. Ever since I, they always just walk up and just go, you fucking yeah? And you're like, yeah. That's pretty bad, right? This sucks, huh? Yeah? We get you another one for 200% market value.

Put it in. Let's go. Looks like Chad Kroger with a picture. Look at this filter. Look at this filter dirt. You're like, yeah, it looks pretty bad. Is it bad? And they're like, not really.

You're like, fuck, this is, what are we doing? Just two humans. I think the 3,000 miles thing is a Jiffy Lube exclusive to where we all kind of think it's 3,000 miles. But if you look in your owner's manual, it's forever miles. It's like 65 or 7,500. or something. Shovelcock that so you don't listen to the podcast guy.

I mean, the new ones, they're in cahoots with all of them. Yeah. Big oil. Yeah, big oil. That's the biggest one. Like my car, my Subaru, how did it possibly make it from 1985 to 2010 with five oil changes? What? And now I have a oil meter.

It's like, you got to spend fucking 100 bucks to get this done. That's what it is, too, 100, 150 bucks. So ridiculous. It used to be 20 bucks, dude. I used to take my car when I was like, I used to take my car to Walmart. Oh, yeah. 20 bucks. I forgot about that.

Then we're going to get out the dick because we're running a little bit behind. But when they said, like, you want the synthetic or the whatever, the hybrid synthetic? I said, well, whatever one's cheaper. And he goes, well, the manufacturer recommend. And I was like, give me the cheaper one. And he goes, okay. That'll be this one right here. also didn't have to say it.

Like, he's just doing his job. Yeah. It's like, you know it's not going to fuck my car up. Yeah. To go from 120 bucks for full synthetic. Super synthetic. When I go there, I just say, I do want all the cheap things. So whatever the answer is, is it's the cheapest one.

I want the bare minimum. The bare men, bro. But it was just a, it was a great moment. You don't have to do this. I love that. That's awesome. Actually, I do. Try it at home, gang.

Try it at home. You don't have to do this. All right, moving out. to a big old fat, piss blistering dick. Hey! This is fun. This is from People magazine. But there's multiple reports of the fact that it's from people deters you.

Yeah, don't let it. Man uses robot vacuum to catch his wife cheating, then gets jailed for secretly recording her affair. Is it relevant that he's Taiwanese? No. I guess maybe their laws are different. Yeah, that's for sure. But just think about it.

And we've talked about this before on the show where like the same reason that when you go to a gas station is like, you're being filmed because something happened. We're like, well, I never would have done that if I knew I was being filmed. And they're like, fuck. I wouldn't have robbed this place if I knew there was a camera.

I never would have stole if it was a fucking camera. And the judge... You get that, right? Judge was like, I get it. And then the world was changed forever. So a Taiwanese man won a lawsuit after using a robot vacuum to record his wife naked with another man. That's not, I mean. Naked with another man.

Just friends. Only to later be convicted for the way he obtained the footage of the affair. The man received a five-month sentence after a court convicted him of privacy offenses for recording his wife without her consent. According to South China Morning Post, the SCMP. The husband remotely activated the robot vacuum through a mobile app after becoming suspicious that his wife was involved with another man. Lying naked with another man. I think she's lying naked with another man. Please pick your leg up.

I was right. I see you're doing missionary. Can you pick your legs up so I can vacuum these Cheetos? I see you're doing missionary. I see you're doing missionary. looks fun. He maintained... Well, you're really giving it to her.

Wow, wow. Nothing like your husband can do. Move your legs. He maintained that he initially intended to use the device to speak with his wife, but saw another man inside the residence and then activated its recording function. The footage showed his wife naked

in front of the other man. Can we see the footage? Is that sex? Is... Just... I picture it. just two, like, man on couch. Just standing.

Man on couch. Woman naked. Just standing like a Sims game. Mm-hmm. Just like, we have yet, going, jam-y-hmm. Just staring at each other. The robots like, Mm-hmm.

Help! They're getting stuck on a carpet. Getting stuck on a carpet. And he's like trying to record. He's like, fucking, always something. And she's just like, she's cheating on me. Like, they're just looking at each other naked. What a weird.

Fair. Yeah, maybe they, maybe that's just the thing. They just, mm-hmm. The husband, the husband's,

uh, subsequently filed a civil lawsuit against his wife and the man, alleging that they had infringed on his marital rights. He's naked in my house. He is naked. He is sitting on couch. Woman is naked.

Lawsuit. And wanted 500,000 N.T. New touch. What is N.T.? Nebels. Nebels, Nebel tuts. Let's see. The wife then filed a criminal complaint against her husband, accusing him of recording private.

New Taiwan. The nude? New Taiwan. Gotcha. New Taiwan makes so much sense. Old Taiwan. Yeah, what's the old? Can you pay me a new Taiwan?

The O.T. All I've got is the O.T. The wife then filed a criminal complaint accusing him of recording private images of her without her consent. Fuck. Can you imagine going through this? He reportedly admitted to operating the robot vacuum and recording the footage, but argued that he had done so to collect evidence for his civil case. The court rejected his defense, finding that meritable obligations do not override an individual's right to privacy. This is such a fucking shit show. It's in his house.

This is why I am pumped that I don't live there. like what a disaster this is my my my wife no she she killed she killed our kids I caught a lot of the robot vacuum did you have permission to film sure didn't

everyone's free and you're going to jail you're going to jail for five months for using a robot vacuum to film it and you're like well fuck me huh justice fuck myself

How about I go outside and go fuck myself God Who sits there in your judge chair It just looks at it Like I know your wife was clearly cheating on you But how did you catch her How did we know that they were cheating He was sitting naked

They were just standing there naked Maybe they're having coffee naked Is that against the law? Oh what? Could I not just sit naked in my own house And you drink coffee? What's that? What's next?

What's next? No robot vacuos? The robot vacuum allowed the husband to view a live feed through its app. But he had to activate its recording function separately before the footage could be saved. The device reportedly issued an alert when recording began. However, the court found there was no evidence that the wife knew that she was being recorded. She was busy being naked. She was busy fucking hand job. Super blow.

The court... ultimately convicted the husband of a privacy offense for recording his wife without her consent and imposed a five-month sentence. Here's what's crazy about that. Fuck. As you know, they each got lawyers or whatever, and the lawyer was like,

I know you were cheating on your husband, but watch this. And like he found that loophole and she was like, oh, yeah, yeah, we're going with that. How did you get caught? Was it like,

it's like a normal camera? He goes, no, it was a robot vacuum. And he goes, I got this. That's crazy. This one's going to shake stuff up. It's going to shake shit up. They brought in the high profile attorney for that one. And his lawyer was just like, I'm not going to work on this case.

It's open and shut. Open and shut. No worries, bud. Yeah, clearly, your wife was cheating. Obviously. Are you going to, is there anything you need to do to get ready for the court? No, dude, we got this. We got it.

Just show up. Crazy to think. that in a country where that type of stuff happens, right? Like, I cheated on my wife. You would go to the court to be like, you have to prove it. It's like, no, you guys just figure it out. And then let us know what you guys do and we'll take it from there. But they're like, the only way I'm getting out of this marital affair is if I prove it with a robot vacuum camera.

It hopes someone else agrees. It's like, no, you guys just end it. That's how that works. Unless he was like She's gonna try to get If I leave she's gonna try to get Alamoney all that kind of stuff She's gonna take the robot vacuum

Right You can take the house The robot vacuum Probably a couple chairs The couch The dude was naked on Fucking that beautiful couch That just left fucking wet butt cheek marks

From the dude's fucking swass Fuck that's hot You can have the couch bitch You could have the couch just give me the robot vacuum All right, let's move off for the next one. You want to read it? No. Please?

Let's go back to across the other... Let's go back to across the place. Let's go over there. Let's go spin the globe. We're going to Thailand. Oh, boy. This time. So we were in...

Where the hell were we? Taiwan. Taiwan on. In Thailand. Nice. Oh, no, Taiwanese. That is Thailand, right? Probably Taiwan.

No, Taiwan. Taiwan is different. Yes, Christ. Probably Taiwan. Taiwan and Thailand. I think Thai would be from Thailand. Right. My favorite.

Yeah, I got our back. She's cute. Okay. Sorry, there's a commercial plane. Mm. She was really, nope. Oh. I just have to look at Trump's face.

That's my ad. Oh, there, yep, there he is. Not as hot. Boner down. Okay. Oof. Okay. Thailand.

Whoa. Issues prostitution warning as 5,000 U.S. sailors arrive in tourist town. after 200 days at sea. That makes sense. So funny. These dudes are ready to fucking explode, so be on the lookout.

Just a national alert? Like a fucking hurricane siren? A tsunami. Sailor dicks, coming in. A lot of horny dudes. Pent-up balls. Tons of semen. Tons of semen looking for semen dump. The USS Abraham Lincoln will dock at Thailand's resort city of Pataya, Pataya.

Sure. Where prostitution is illegal. Weird. And that's a weird, weird one. Say, okay, we know this isn't supposed to happen anyway, but it's going to happen anyway. Local authorities in the Thai resort city have issued a crackdown on prostitution ahead of a visit from a U.S. Navy aircraft carrier carrying 5,000 sailors in Marines who have been at sea for...

What does that happen? For over 200 days. The USS Abraham Lincoln will dock on Wednesday. So they're docking. At Thailand's resort, city of Pataya. The visit has raised hopes of an economic boost. Maybe legalize it and they could see some of it. No one's going to... You get it. ahead of its arrival, police... What? Do you read that? Yep.

No. No. You read that. Ahead of its arrival, police are preparing additional patrols around Pataya's main beachfront and nightlife district besides raids over the weekend that led 40 to 50 people in detention for suspected prostitution. Finishing at nearby lame chabang! Jesus! Lambchabang!

Just called fucking... Banghole port, bitch. With two accompanying Navy vessels, those aboard will be allowed to rest and recuperate over 200 days at sea. Ah, yeah. Yeah, we're going to rest. We're doing our best. But it's difficult.

Yeah. Petiah Police Chief Anik Srethangu said on Monday, explaining that sex workers could potentially solicit in public areas without the knowledge of these authorities. Yeah. You ever heard about Thailand? We are super concerned. Lady boys. And more.

And more. And more. Prostitution is illegal in Thailand. You wouldn't know it. The prostitution is illegal in Thailand. And despite occasional crackdowns, the sex industry is openly visible in major tourism hubs. You can't be out here. Okay.

I love how all the places, they're Patea and Bangkok. I mean, come on. You can't call a place bang cock. And not expect to have some little sex. Yeah. Just a little smidge. The Lincoln left its home port of San Diego in November. The Lincoln left its home is like saying you took a poop.

It was later redirected to the Middle East to support military operations in the U.S. Israeli war with Iran. Setting a modern day record for consecutive days at sea, according to Democratic. They're like, usually. we what is the record you think I don't know but the conversation

on that boat was hey guys this has been a record setting amount of days and see we can go home to your families

we can make a piss or we can go to Thailand kids can wait dude you're like listen you go home to your loving families they miss you so much

or all 5,000 of you could fucking take over of Thailand and just It just bites his lip Just like

Or you could Fuck And they're like Thailand Thailand Thailand Thailand Thailand Yeah Well you guys know that For home

One guy's like I miss him Everyone else is like Shut up Brad God Shut up Brad God Nothing

Fucking fucking guy loves his wife But the prolonged deployment is also brought with it reports of mental health concerns and deteriorating conditions aboard. With two military focus outlets this month describing suicide attempts and declining morale on the ship. Well, yeah. And Patea, a fishing village, partly transformed into a tourism center on the back of the U.S. servicemen seeking secure during the Vietnam War. in the summer hoping for a financial boost. Yeah.

Each military personnel could spend $1,000 to $3,000 per day, $30 to $91, depending on how long they stayed ashore and whether they stayed overnight, said the mayor. Well, they're not going anywhere. The boats there. I'm not staying overnight. Your boat is. Where the fucking go? We're going to go back to your bunk?

No, just stay here with me. the problem for 200 days. Yeah, stay here with me, buddy. And this lady boy. Yeah, just so funny to think about it being like a whole warning. Being like, oh my God. Hornie Dicks!

Big old throbbing cocks! Come on it! Fuck. I mean, think about being on there for 200 days. As, you know, as often as guys jerk off. Yeah. Like being in closed quarters. where you're just like

Yeah Like there are days You know We've talked about this before When you know When your family leaves the house And you're home by yourself You get to sprawl out a little bit

Stretch it Uh Show your taint to the neighbors Exactly But you're on a You're on a ship with 200 dudes For more than half a year Well they got like jerk off stations

Like it's a whole spot It's like I just got to do this I know but Nothing against the captain I guess I just got to come. Yeah. But I,

but it's not as, I'm not shooting a gun until I fucking come. Come before gun. It's mental health stuff. Yeah, it's come before gun. It's my dad used to, it's, it's hard to, I imagine you get used to it,

but I would have, I feel like it'd be hard to relax and be like, I'm going to get a good, good, gank going here. Just the biggest fraternity. You got to go into the wank room? The biggest fraternity house

just getting dropped off in Thailand. I get the warning. Like, they're locking their windows down like a zombie apocalypse. Like, there's families with gardens. They're like, oh, my God, I've got some fucking U.S. cocks coming in here.

Fuck. They're just, like, locking it down. Yeah! Fucking y'am! Like, they're fucking your window cell. You fucking... Huh? Where's their elephant?

I'm a fucking elephant. They're just pumped to be outside. Can I ride your elephant? Will I fucking come? It's shaking your fucking door. You're a little tie hut. We're going to be okay. We're going to be okay.

Officer Begain King Chol. He's on it. Wait, what was that? It said something about a wife of the USS. It was a video. It was a wife of the USS. Oh, wife of U.S. service member aboard USS Lincoln speaks out. Oh, what is?

I don't know. It's in a video. Let him suffer. Don't let him go to Thailand. Just the thing. Bebe, be, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Super glue his penis hole shot. Bebe, beep, beep, beep.

I know my husband. Please do not. This is the last thing. It's the last thing I need. He has kids at homes. We explain that to him. We were very adamant. He didn't listen.

He jumped off the boat. and swam to shore. Bebe, be, be, be, beep, beep, beep. Use his dick as a sailboat, be, beep, beep. All right, let's move off to our next one. This was set in by our son, Ryan. Not funny, kind of. Tree Trimmer killed coworker while playing with shadows.

You gotta slap your computer again. Oh, right down here? There you go. It worked? Cool. Not much to show here, but as being dumb, Being dumb dudes. This is why men died before women.

This is one of those reasons. What did my dad say? It's one of those reasons. This is why all men died before women. I mean, we're here. We're going to Minnesota. A Brainerd man was charged with second-degree manslaughter after authority said he crushed his co-worker's head while playing around with the hydraulic grapple. He was using to trim trees in Apple Valley.

You, watch this. Wait till you hear all this place out. Oh, I saw the video. Oh, what? Mm-hmm. What? Mm-hmm. Are you on, like, LiveLeak?

No. Yeah, just Pornhub. Christopher Boone Crimmons. That's not funny. Aw, Chris. That's Christopher. He sounds more like the town name, Brainerd. Hey, Brainerd.

He's got a cross tattoo underneath his eye. Brainer Trimmins. 34 was charged with one count of second-degree mannors. slaughter, according to Dakota County Attorney Kathy Kina. According to this person, just say it. We don't have to know who said it. This is what

she thinks. She told us this. It could be wrong. About 7 p.m. Apple Valley Police were called to the scene and found Tyler Anthony Lynch. Bad last name for that incident. Hanging from something? 26. With a significant

head injury and was pronounced dead at the scene. The criminal complaint said that the two tree trimmers were working in Apple Valley when the incident occurred. Crimmons told investigators he was on top of the boom operating from his seat while Lynch was on the ground below cleaning up branches. Typical fucking Thursday, right? The two were fooling around. Grab assing. When Crimin saw that the sunlight was casting shadows of both the grapple and his co-worker onto the street.

Check it out. Dude. While looking at the shadows, Kriman said, he moved the grapple so it appeared as if the shadow was grabbing Lynch's shadow. Kind of like when you're in spotlight and you do the little dinosaurian or whatever. He was doing hand puppets, man. Early morning, I'm guessing. Hang it just like, this is funny. Yeah.

While he was doing the shadow puppet show, he was not looking at Lynch or the grapple and didn't realize the grapple was actually moving towards Lynch. his head accidentally won the cross like the claw machine he closed the grapple on Lynch's head which said a witness saw that the injury occurred just popped his brain look at this just and then you lift it up you're like whoa I looked so real is oh fuck oh my god my deepest condolences or condoluses to the or to Mr. Lynch's family members and friends and all those affected by his death imagine that You're telling his wife and his kids. He died at work today.

What happened? His friend was fucking around with shadows. What? What? It took shadow puppeting too far. It was old Chris Boone. You had to be there. So what were you doing?

You were, I was making a shadow. I was making a bunny rabbit. Like I was grabbed. You know like when you go like this and a thing. And you work in construction. If you've been up early, the sun, you guys are all fucking tired. And like, you know that shadow look. Like you're on the roof.

and you could be like and like just fuck their face from a shadow and like hey look Brian I'm fucking your face but instead he's like look I got you just I got your nose you smush your fucking friend's head

God what sound did that man crushed his skull just can't wait for the weekend watermelon noise my God That's awful.

So when you do something... It's hard to make that sexual. So do you ever... Do you ever... I mean, yes, I'm sure you do. What? Sometimes I'll be driving and or doing anything. Let's say you're driving and you're like, what if I wasn't paying attention and I just ran somebody over?

And then you play the scenario out from there. You're like, oh my God, I just did this. And then the panic that would set in, you're like, I just changed. so many lives because I like I wasn't paying attention I was doing something I just plowed into somebody

after a family tree just cut the branch off like kids wife parents all that stuff it's just you changed everything and it's like

you can't undo it um doesn't mean you can't be hard that's right yeah that's what my dad always says sorry that opening question got me in the dark spot

yeah this is gonna be hard but the idea of like anybody you could like anybody has the power to do it how crazy that is so this guy's here's working do to do does that and then like once you realize what you did you're like that's not funny holy shit mm-hmm like everything and turning off the machine and just sitting there being him with your grapple full of his head just from like he and you're he just squitches his head and you turn from the shadows and be like got your and then

and then everyone just sits there should have moved away shit I knew I should have come to work today God should have had that coffee I knew I should have coffee yeah that silence some birds like while your little grapple is just holding a head And you're just sitting the keys or jingling a little bit while your little grapples just holding my human head. Like do you sit in your co-workers like, I saw that. Yeah.

Got them. I was fucking around with shot. Do you sit there like, oh my God, what I do? Or is it one of those things where you notice it? And you're like, oh, fuck, you forget to shut it off and you jump out.

Maybe. You know what I mean? Or you turn it off and you go, turn it back. Turn it back on and he just go Hmm, open the grapple and drop the head You're like, I don't want to be That's my only chance of getting away with this

He probably had to make the phone call too, right? Yeah, or the co-worker that saw The engine on and he's like, oh, hang on I think he's okay All right, say it again now, sir? I was fucking out with shadows We ripped a head off What?

What? In all fairness, he made a good bunny before he died. He did. Cheeseburger. The sounds of an early morning. Fuck. All right.

Well, let's move off to some good stuff. Zach, play it, please. So you're telling me there's a chance. Hooray, we aren't doomed. Yeah! You boys heard of CRISPR? We've talked about CRISPR. a rough episode.

This has been great. This has been great. For anyone who likes us that are worse, this is great. Publicly terrible. With a snip of a gene, what's that?

I was going to say punch your computer, but it punched itself. Oh, wow. It's up, no, it's off again. Oh, shit. Let me do that. Mamp.

Oh, we did it. Oh, fuck. With a snip of a gene, scientists hope to erase high cholesterol for life. Oh, yep. I get up my medicine. It's right there, just hop right off that hot cut.

Get off that high sea. Which ironically caused the high cholesterol to begin with. Remember high C? Oh yeah. All right. I thought you meant music. No, no. He could sing the high C all night long.

A one-time snip of a key or of a gene lowered heart-clogging cholesterol by about 50% over an entire year with no adverse effects scientists have reported. I mean, say what you want about CRISPR. We've talked about the designer babies, right? I just want my kid to have all of the perfectness. And then the society divides where it's like, well, we did it the way the Lord intended. I want them to be what? We did it the way the Lord intended. And then we did it this way where everything is perfect.

And the society will have a wall about it. It's coming. But the overwhelming positive results from this one were found in four people who had taken the highest dose of an experimental treatment during a bullet study published in the New England Journal of Medicine. That study was extremely small. Only 15 patients with dangerously high cholesterol that did not respond to medication. The research was designed to test the safety of five different doses of a gene-altering infusion delivered by CRISPR, cast nine. a biological scissor which

which cuts a targeted genetic location to modify or turn a gene on or off so what world do we live in I can keep ridding you guys get the idea where your baby is born or before your baby is born and you can look at it or take a sample and get their DNA and they just start

pumping them full of medication or going and change their DNA so they come out and they will will never have a risk of heart attacks, high cholesterol, it's the living forever. Whatever other disease you want to put in there, it's not quite live forever. They have talked about,

they have identified like the aging gene, right? We just eliminate that. Doesn't work well. Doesn't work as well as the high cholesterol one they're talking about. Where they're like, well, you trip, there's so many complications between aging and just trying to pretend like that doesn't exist.

But how far? far out are we from people never having to worry about getting some sort of terminal illness cancer. They're like, oh shit, this one causes cancer. And they just clip it out. You mean very, very rich people. How long before very, very rich people don't get cancer. Yeah, like us. Yeah, we're still getting. Yeah, I'll get cancer, but yeah. That's the way the good old intended. It's going to be like Elysium of that movie where only the rich people get the healthy stuff. And you can go suck your own dick. As long as I come. You will.

I'm not flexible enough. Yeah. I have dreams where I have, I can. What? Yeah, I've had dreams where I can. I can get quite a bit in there. You've had dreams of deep throat in your own cock? Right here.

Yikes! Episode 221. This is where it all came on done. In 221, there's nothing special. I mean, I never, don't finish or anything. It's just like, it's really short. You don't know that? Sorry.

Well, maybe. No, it's usually short-lived. Like, holy cow, I actually can do it. Oh, wow. Mom said I could never suck my own dick. I think when I was younger, I was able to, flexible where I could at least, like, reach it with a tongue or something. I tried it one time. Really?

I never tried to suck my own dick. I mean, I just didn't try. I was just seen if I could reach it. Yeah. Like a science experiment. It was like, no. I got a no, at least. You had a lab coat on and a clipboard?

Can I suck my own dick? You said like, yes, no. Like a line down the middle and you're like, someone walks in the room. And you're like, you stick your tongue out, you're like, no. Is my penis too small or is my tongue too short? One tally mark, send it off to fucking Harvard. Here's your research.

Can't. This top rib needs to go. Yeah, can't suck dick. Where's Marilyn Manson? What a funny rumor that was. Anyway. Everybody knew it, though. That's going to be a crazy world.

I just wanted to talk about it. it because it's coming. It's coming. Here, something I found on the internet. Let's talk about it. Okay. The internet is pretty wild. Depending on your browsing habits, you can either experience something super cool or go to prison. Crazy, right? Let's check it out. Together, as a couple. Hey, look what I found. Yes. I thought so. Well, you don't have two headphones in. Yes, they do. Show me. And it's worst because I can't even hear out of this one. I can't hear out of this one. Okay.

What you guys don't know is that I have like the, you know, the custom molded in ear system. So I can't hear anything. So sometimes between when segments are going on, I yell at Brian or we just like talk to each other like, okay, so what's coming up with Matt? And that time I did that and Brian goes

okay. I was like, I forgot. You can actually hear me. I can't fucking hear you. So we have covered a couple times now. We had an update on that. One company that has the mirrors that want to redirect sunlight to solar farms, right? But also that expanded to if you're having a sick Labor Day weekend, you need a little more sunshine. You can rent some sunshine and have it bounce it down to your backyard and you're beautiful.

Truly unique, one-of-a-kind townhouse. like I pay to get my concrete slab lit up to look at a little section looking for a little sunshine have an extra five grand for three minutes this is not going to go well but here you go startup wants to use drones

to clear clouds and boost solar farm output how does this contrast with the people the chem trail people Oh, I don't know The cloud seating

So solar panels Might be a clean energy producing technology But there's little we can do When the weather interferes Or is there A startup backed by Y Combiner

Combinator? Sure Has plans to manufacture drones that fly inside clouds To disperse them So get out of here Get! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Delight! it. Move. Hey, come on, man. Go and get. Come on now. Not now. Come on now. Not now. I got that sun. Like, come on now. Come on now. Hit.

Yeah. Go. Matoric Technologies Incorporated. Meteoric. Meteoric. How do you have... So, like, I'm bad at reading, but you're terrible at words. You don't know that. I do know that because I...

Yes. You're terrible at words. Look at my ratings. It might be because I've been awake since 2 a.m. The creation of two engineers from the University of Cambridge announced his plan to use drones as a way of increasing the efficiency of solar farms. The proposal involves sending fleets of drones or even hundreds of autonomous drones into low and mid-altitude clouds, about 0.6 to 3.1 miles eye above solar farms and altering the water droplets that form

then without the use of chem trails. Chemicals. This reduces their reflectivity and brings back measurable amounts of sunlight to the panels below. Last name, no.

Karslioglu glue. Karsliogliogu. Karsluigi. Karsleoglu. Added that low and mid-level overcast clouds cut incoming sunlight by 73 to 82% while overhead. Alasi says the drone

can partially reverse. This, just like redirecting sunlight with mirrors. It is. This is also probably not a good idea. You start fucking with weather. Right? We do it, though.

We do, but if other companies start doing this, though, Zach? No more clouds. Just blowing, again, what's stopping any city ever from being nothing but sunshine? like you look up over New York and there's just 10,000 drones making sure the cloud cover doesn't get too bad

and blowing them to some poor neighboring city The interesting thing is though It's raining here again Fuck New York sucks to be poor Um No I mean

I had two thoughts Hmm We already alter weather and stuff by Debris and things like that So clouds, you know, they can be affected from debris in the atmosphere. So we're already sort of altering it. But what you were just saying there, what if, so let's say there were fires in Spokane. Yeah.

And you were able to move clouds from somewhere or move or make clouds and make it rain to put out of fire. Is that for the greater good or is that? They can do cloud seating. They can. Idaho doesn't have the rights, right? But Idaho does. Yeah. And they've done it in the military several times.

Yeah. Because it sucks to fight in rain. Yeah. But how do you control that? Right. Yeah. Who gets to control it? Yeah.

Exactly. Just like just to bounce back to, I think, last week, the flock cameras where it's like, we're just doing the bad guys. And it's like, how about the tens of thousands of reports of police immediately misusing flock cameras to track down X's. You didn't do a good job. And that's basic level shit. But who would have thought that was going to be the...

When you're thinking of the thing, you're not the first thing I would have thought of. Yeah. Yeah. How's it going to be abused? So cloud seeding is agricultural. That's the basis of it, right? So you give the crops of rain to grow and make food.

And at that point, you're like, that's great. But then it's like, hey, there's a protest that's happening. I don't like. it let's make a thunderstorm that's why giving politicians this power is yeah and how do you stop a real protest they would just stay on the rain if they actually cared about the cause yeah but if you really fucked around with it i get it but that's where this comes in when it comes it's like oh shit it's raining but who has the power to be like let's just make a bunch of rain clouds stop these fires it's like what's stopping them from just fucking around and doing something like voting day

polls something that people are subjective to weather. They will not go out if it's a shit fucking day and people will dump rain while there's like a voting day. So here's to stop them from coming out. Here's just a thought. Here's a thought adventure here. Yeah. Let's so we're just living on earth. Mm-hmm. Lightning, we have a lightning storm. Lightning strikes the ground, starts a fire. That's Mother Nature cleansing itself. If we have a fire department, we go out and put the fire. fire out. You're saying let's let everything burn? What I'm saying is if you think of things just from a standard situation, that was that was that's a natural cause, something that's naturally causing and we're

altering it by putting out the fire for our own benefit. But that was that that wasn't part of the what's the alternative? No, but you heard me. Do you go with me on this, Zach? I got it. It's very, I got it. So it happens. It's supposed to happen. Let it go. Let it burn. What if there's a neighborhood there or a school? No, that's what I... You're not getting what I'm saying. What I'm saying is I'm fine with putting out the fire. This isn't, I'm not saying let's let it burn. I'm saying let's put out the fire. But what I'm saying is we already are altering. So you're saying what, uh, the good and bad of the other thing. The good of the firefighter to put out a fire is that we saved the houses.

lives. But you're only looking at the good of it. So, but what you could, someone could maybe make an argument that if that fire would have burned, it would have cleaned out the crop, cleaned out this whole area. Like if we didn't have houses there. Yeah. That's the problem. The deciding factor is.

But who gets to, but again, who. We do because we have hoses. Who gets to decide. So why, why can't we look at it the other way? If someone wants to make clouds go away. the people that are making the drones definitely are looking at it that way they're like why the fuck not let's just mess with it and that's probably your fair that's right what's the worst that happens whatever it works for humans is what we're up to that's if it saves us we're doing it but it's the yeah it's the domino effect of pushing the clouds out of the area how bad is fire season going to get for everyone around the solar form right so it's just fucking with things that are mother nature it's that saying again just because you can doesn't mean you should should. Cause and effect is different.

And we're not ready to talk like that. So yeah. And I get it. So what I'm proposing or what I'm saying is that it depends on your perspective of what you think is good and bad because we affect things the way when it benefits us. So who gets to decide who benefits and who doesn't benefit from is what I'm trying to ask. Your governor. Yeah, that's showbiz, baby. So it really comes down to anything else.

Sunlight is one of those things. Like, who the fuck would want sunlight all the time? The other side of it is like, what ecosystem are you fucking up? By blasting sun over here. But we've already fucked up so many ecosystems just by existing. No, God damn it. We've already killed off so many species because we hunt rhino. Things like that.

We're fucking up the population. We're endangering species. we're making animals go extinct because we're hunting them and doing all that. So we're already affecting the world for our own a benefit. So where's the who gets to decide? That's what I'm, I guess that's where it's like, hey, eventually we've learned that this is not a good idea. Let's quit doing it. Usually a little too late.

With fucking weather and fucking with sunlight. So, but I'm going to, I'm going to bring something back again. It's like mining. They're like, just pour in the water. Yeah. Back then, and you're like, whoa, bad idea. No, I get it. But what I'm saying is, let's say.

Okay, so again, I'm just making this up as I go to push back. Let's say, would you rather move the clouds and make less rain, but we have solar power, clean power, versus not doing that and mining and drilling for oil and having, wars because we're fighting over oil and we have industries, it's a billion trillion dollar industry of people fighting over power and all this kind of stuff.

Straight up her moves. Yeah, things like that. What's worse? Altering rain for a thing or something like that or global warfare. Again, I'm not taking a side. I'm just proposing That's a good question, really.

I don't have the answer. But fighting for oil is one thing. We will fight for solar panels and who's pushing clouds into each other's country. I think solar panels are made of oil, too, just for the record. Fuck, it's so hot. Yeah. That's a solar joke. Plus they have to power those drones, which is weird.

Yeah. Last thing, and then we can move on. But the reason I even propose that is, again, it's because it's who, it's who's benefiting and who. So we all, we all. You can build more solar farms without fucking with the weather. Yeah. You can capitalize on getting clean and fuck off with oil and stop fighting each other without alternating the clouds or alternating sunlight. Those all can exist.

It's not one of the other. It's like if you don't have clouds get out of the way of solar farms, then war will stop. Like it's just they're not, they're not musically. I realize that. Yeah. You don't just stop doing it. Oil can be one thing, clean energy begin another. like there's ones like right now with solar farms that are building their their panels taller

to make sure that the same area could be occupied by livestock and not one or the other. So we're already adopting to or adapting to what is happening. It's like, okay, you can have a farm here too with this and that's where solar is in its very early stages of figuring out how to use it the best we can. And it's not a useless space, but we don't, I just don't think you should be dissipating clouds because you don't care for it. You're like, I don't like it. It seems like there's going to be some unintended consequences.

Let's send some drones down there and get these clouds out. It's like, dude, fucking what? Where'd all the birds go? Knock it off. Yes, exactly. It's just not a good idea. But there's a difference between energy sources like oil and war and solar farms. It's not one or the other.

But yes, I would rather not have people die and fight in wars. But we can also do that and still have. But what if you got to? if you had to pick one of them. I would rather. I would rather that people not die and have solar power. So that's, I guess that's, I mean. But it's already fine. Just put more solar panels on things.

But that's, that's the thing. Like, you can unlearn something and learn a new thing, right? Like, we, we've accepted that alcohol is fine. And then when you want to legalize weed, we're like, that's a fucking terrible idea. And then all the commercials are for booze and the Super Bowl and people drive home and they kill each other on the roads and do all the kind of stuff, but then people will think that weeds bad because it's new and it's, it's not legal. So you're like, this is crazy. Why would we ever legalize anything? And then they're like, slamming a beer. Those are things that you do to your own body that don't affect the solar system. No, no. I'm just, I'm bringing the exact same sort of way where you're just going to be like,

well, we already, we already do oil. That's the alcohol. We're already doing oil. This is crazy to think that we should move clouds. That's cannabis. But that's in our bodies. No. It's a self. I'm using it as an argument. But they don't relate. I'm using it as an analogy.

I understand. We have to move on. No, it's an analogy. Jesus Christ. It's not because it affects you. It's like your choices. You want to do weed, coke, meth is a personal choice.

No, you get on the road and you kill a family. Great. That's five people. Different than controlling the clouds. How many people die from a drunk driving every year? 80 million. I don't know. But it's different

than controlling the clouds. I don't know. I don't care for it. It's not the same. The power to control the weather controls the entire fucking planet. We probably should be a little careful about it. You're just dispersing a few miles of clouds

to get some sun through to get some clean air. Where are they going to go? What's after it? Who needs water? What is everyone doing after you got rid of the clouds because you're fucking solar farm? Trying to find the birds. What's the farm going to do across the way?

Be like, fuck, solar power. What's happening into the earth with all the fucking drilling and all the oil and all that shit? Again, but the rain still shows up. Where was it when we needed it for the fires? Not here. So you're saying that we shouldn't be able to... Oh my God! You're saying that we shouldn't be able to make clouds to put out a fire to save a thousand houses? That's not what I said.

Yeah, it is. God damn it. You said we can't alter the weather. It's a bad idea. Would it have been a bad idea? Go talk to the families that lost their house and ask if that would have been a bad idea. Once you ask them if that would have been a bad idea. Every house is a fucking snow gun.

Episode 221. Like a goddamn ski mountain. It's all about perspective. I think if you were to ask those people that lost their house, they're like, if we could have legally made clouds to save your house, would we have done it? They'd probably have been like,

yeah, would have been fucking awesome. Or you could kill the arsonist to set them all on fire. You could do both things. Both things. All right, moving off. Let's go to Hey, guys. Zach!

All right, let's hear what you guys think. Really? You want to talk to me? Wow, that's cool. Okay, I'll read this first one. Our first email coming in from our daughter, Summer. Summer. Who writes, hey, I'm not sure if you guys remember us or not,

but we sent you a save the date for our Summer and Dustin of 2024. Anyway, we got married on May 29, 2025. have been happily married. I do remember that. I do. For a little over a year now. With that being said, you know how the saying goes.

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage. That's right. We welcomed our beautiful baby girl, Emily, in April this year. Emily is absolutely precious. She has been accepted into the baby of the year competition.

Shit. And we would absolutely love your support along with the gaggle. I guess recently went back to work for my return to leave as a pre-k paraprofessional at a Title I elementary school. So believe it or not, I don't make a lot of money. That's a lot of big words. I know.

Shocker. Yeah. If Emily were to win baby the year, that would give a, get to star in vanity or variety and win 25K, that money would change our lives in so many ways. We love listening to you guys and you bring joy to our very chaotic, busy days. We have been longtime listeners and don't plan on dropping this. this filthy habit anytime soon. Although after this episode.

Yeah, you haven't listened to this one yet, which is where we tie it in your baby vote. Love you guys and thanks for the support. Feel free to share, Honk, your daughter's summer. So we will throw the link. I tried to find a way to talk about where to go to vote. It doesn't exist.

So I will throw the link to vote for their baby in the episode description. Here they are. Oh, they're number seven. And there's only seven days left, and this doesn't come out for a week. I know, it'll be close. Shit.

Like the final day. So maybe, okay, so this will have been a week ago, but maybe we can post about it. Yeah, they'll have like, when this comes out, you'll have like 40-something minutes to go and vote. She's number seven, though. I know. She's adorable. Do I have to put in a bunch of information, though? Just your Facebook or whatever.

But that's there. We'll post it. Maybe we'll post it on Patreon or something, too. But that's right there. Love you guys. Thank you so much for the invite. We talked about just going. Just showing up.

Just showing up without telling you guys. But ultimately, life happened. All right. You want to read the second email, Bri Reye? Nope. Okay. Our second email is coming in from our son, Randy. I'm kidding.

Go ahead. Ha ha! He writes, all right, fellas, I'm either high. Or, nope. Yep, either I'm high or this is actually hilarious. My lovely wife and I have been trying to make some babies for a while now. Fuck. Ah, yeah.

That's the funnest part, because there's just. just no repercussions. Yeah. You can just fucking come in you. Your come doesn't cry. Or whatever. Back to you. Episode 221.

She had me coming in you. Yeah, coming in me. We are now expecting twin boys. Come November. I think you should call her an offer to buy naming rights to the babies. Pushing hard to name them Joe and Boy! We are currently undecided on names. She introduced me to,

you fuckle heads and now she'll get a laugh out of it. Maybe Daddy Blanc can call her though because she's worried. I'm worried she'll be able to hear Joe's horse cocko with someone in his voice will give it away. Or she'll get, she'll get super turned on. Let me call her to see if she answers. Oh shit. All right.

Her name's Allie. Okay. I was just about to say the numbers out loud for her phone number. Oh, go ahead and don't do that. I'm not going to do that. Yeah, that'd be bad. Oh, it says don't. say the fucking number.

That's weird. I need to read ahead. I'm terrible at reading ahead. It's one line, though. It is very bold. We're going to let this go. How are you going to open it? I don't know.

Hi, we're from twin baby naming service. Your husband requested a call from twin baby naming service. Shit. I guess to sleep. Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system. Alie. Oh, Alicia. Is not available.

At the tone, please record your message. When you finished recording, you may hang up or press one for more options. To leave a callback number, press five. I'm just, hi, this is Bill. I'm calling here from the Twin Baby Namin Academy, Business LLC. And we received a call from your husband. while back you said you guys going to have some twins or something and we's recommending

we had these two failers in mind, they's named Joe and Brian and I think that they'd be real happy, real pleased if you go ahead and name your twin boys, Joe and Bwine. Joe, horse cock and Bwine whatever the hell you want. Cod. Just make sure

there's a, Brian Cod, just make sure there's a Y in it. That's the whole thing. We want to make sure that uh well so anyway yeah like i said we're from the we're from the twin boys name and service academy it's a very specific academy only twin boys yeah so uh see you good luck this is joan and bry don't you talk oh shit what that's against academy rules you don't talk oh yeah shoot i blew it all right this bill bye it's bill bye bye no she told me about it she told me about it No. She's, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she did.

Okay. Click. All right. Well, there you go, Randy. We turned our best. She didn't pick up. I love that it says sent for my neighbor's 5G enabled life like fuckable silicone ass. All right. Well, that's our show. If you're still here, have something you want to see on the show.

You can email that into, hey guys at can you know podcast.com. Of course, the honkathon is on. Support us. Patreon. com slash can you don't podcast. Great review. wherever you listen to your podcast, see what Uncle Zach is doing. I'm still alive.

It's scatcast.com. That's Scat with a K and a shout out to the babysitters that somehow managed to keep the Can You Don't Playground alive for over four years. On Facebook, go join up, have some fun. All right, got a joke. Fah! Zit! Good God. Wrap it up already,

sent in from Gabe the Shade. Apparently, in order to start a zoo, you only need the following. Two pandas. two grizzlies and two polar bears it's the bare minimum bear necessities it's the bare necessities a simple zoo open recipes yeah uh good one game love you guys off to the bonus shit uh fuck yeah yeah brother bye bye bye