Can You Don't? - Can You Don't? | Seat Settings. Rope Swing. Toes. Shingles.

Episode Date: March 26, 2025

If you had to take a blind guess, how much do you think someone could sell a couple severed, dog-vomit covered human toes for on the black market? Never thought that would be a question we would ask ahead of today's episode. Let's talk about that, what Joe is really thinking about when riding in the car, probably the most messed up use for AI thus far, what's ok to adjust when borrowing someone's vehicle, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast ***New Episodes every Wednesday at 12pm PSTWatch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/aeApjJ_JDNwSend in segment content: [e-mail]: http://canyoudontpodcast.comMerch Inquires: [e-mail]: http://facebook.com/canyoudontpodcastIG: http://instagram.com/canyoudontpodcastYouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wyt5rtOfficial Website: http://canyoudontpodcast.comCustom Music Beds by Zach CohenFan Mail:Can You Don't?PO Box 1062Coeur d'Alene, ID 83816Hugs and Tugs.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Seat settings, rope swing, toes, shingles. I mean a 145 feels pretty good. It's not a round number in a technical term. I mean, fuck it5 feels pretty good. Nice. It's not a round number in a technical term. I mean, fuck it. It feels good. There's a hole in the floor. Yeah. Five more and we'll be at 150.

Wow. If my math is correct. Get it? What a stretch. Yep. I can add five. I mean, I'm no fucking math rocket science. You know, I ain't no guy.

I'm an optometrist, not not a how's the shingles doing socks brian might have shingles i well which is like which i mean that's like the closest you can get to being a pirate yeah like it's such a pirate disease is it got like scurvy uh and fucking shingles well shingles is just it's a free flare-up of uh chicken pox oh which is the bigger like a grown-up version of the grown-up of uh chicken pox oh which is the bigger like a grown-up version it's a grown-up version like you supersized it yeah did you i mean what i don't know what happened yeah it just like my the from here from my right rib yeah around to my the middle of my back on the right side aches and then my skin is just on fire so like wearing a shirt is not fun just what every time

i move it rubs on my skin it feels like a really bad sunburn well then why are you wearing a shirt i winked with the wrong eye yeah i winked with the one that no one could see if you're watching the video right i saw it but no one else could everyone was like creep it looks like you're staring at me yeah i know i know So you might have shingles. That's what the, I went to the walk-in because I couldn't. Oh, like the discount version. I couldn't make an appointment for my doctor, so I went to the walk-in. That's what he said.

The walk-in phoenix. Okay. Yeah. Christopher walk-in phoenix. He just took a look at it. He goes, shingles. Yeah. Well, he was like, the way you're describing it, the way it burns, the way all that's...

And the way I don't want to be here. Enough about my shingles. What? Why are you carrying your phone in your fucking belt, you nerd? This little number? Yeah. Well, Brian... You got a phone case for you?

No, this isn't a phone. This is the original... Oh, my God. iPod color. Hold it upside down. The original iPad color. I was looking for some shit. iPod.

Yeah, so it's very fun. It's very fun in the household. Pepper is getting full-blown into guitar. Ezra, you know, Pepper had no idea he could even play the drums as well as he could. She's like, well, can you play this? He goes, yeah, duh. And sits down. So now they're jamming out.

So I'm hooking them up and trying to find some equipment to make it so they can have a little jam session. And as I was looking around in the garage, I found this original iPad color. iPad? You keep saying iPad. I don't care. iPod. Just change the A to an O, Joe. Yeah.

It has the charger that I don't think I have anymore. So I'm not sure if it works. But I mean, this. I bet you I have it in my box of cords at home that everybody makes fun of me for. joe yeah it has the charger that i don't think i have anymore so i'm not sure if it works but i mean this i bet you i have it in my box of cords at home everybody makes fun of me for i mean look at this pancake this is 40 gigs yeah like right now i have a hard drive upstairs for video editing that i mean not even kidding is probably over a thousand percent smaller than this ipod and it has four terabytes on it well yeah i mean a camera card i'll just put an sd card away before we get hurt i have a 20 i have a 250 fucking uh card for

shooting on my camera the store is more than that i know it's a little flat flat piece of plastic little teeny thing it's a little guy like a pop so i decided to wear that on the show today hope you don't mind it's pretty slick with the oh mix it in with the glove oh i'm not wearing my gloves oh yeah but you mix that in with your gloves dude look out i know you you know exactly i'm listening to fucking pod like that's the only option right you're definitely a youth and regenerate or youth generation generation yeah we are we are youth of a nation youth of a nation yeah there it is

I remember I liked that band and then when that song blew up I fucking hated them cool I know just too cool for success

yeah at the time yeah sign up for Patreon get the bonus content exclusive merch merch discounts whatever you want

head over to patreon.com slash can you know podcast send in your content suggestions stuff you want to see on the show to hey guys at can you know podcast.com hey reminder we have that new merch giveaway going on right now it's the you send or we send and we just dropped some new merch available right now at can you know podcast.com hope you enjoyed that promo video we made oh yeah Fuck yeah dude We had fun Put my pants again Had fun making it

But there is new merch available And anyone who buys anything off the website At the end of the month We'll pick a name at random You can decide to either send us an object that you want Of your choosing Object of your desire And we will sign it

And we'll send it back Or you can be like I don't even know And then we'll pick some random shit and send it to you Promise to make it funny. But add it to the store. Since we last had an episode, we have Don't Care on t-shirts and coffee mugs. Which on a, I mean, they're both, it's great on a shirt, but you're at work.

Right out the gate. And someone, your boss walks in. He's like, hey, we don't have that TPS report. Just take a sip out of your mug. Without even saying nothing. You don't even got to say anything. You just lift up and take a drink in here. And then we have like an old classic original Mac or PC.

Like the kind that you would play Turtle on. Kind of looks like, from here, it looks like Oregon Trail. Yeah. Yeah, a little bit. But it just says, would you like to see some photos of Yellowstone National Park Joe? With a little cursor after it. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

And then some graphic art made up with just characters on the keyboard. Some mountains. Supposed to be Yellowstone, I guess. I don't know. I'm not AI. There's some more merch on the way, too. We're going to try to fill it in. Just going crazy with it.

We have a couple quick updates. Speaking of AI, our AI overlords, a couple different examples of what's going on in that world. And this article, I just love the concept of this because we talk so much about AI answering any question you want. This is really funny to learn that AI eventually tells you to fucking do it. So on Saturday, a developer using Cursor AI, which I haven't

heard of, for a racing game project hit an unexpected roadblock when a programming assistant abruptly refused to continue generating code, instead offering some unsolicited career advice. So it went on to say the AI,

after producing approximately 750 to 800 lines of code, which is what the users call locks. I don't speak the language. Do you? I used to a little bit. Okay. Back when it was HTML? Yeah.

And script. A bigger sign, less than sign slash carrot. Yeah. So the AI assistant halted work and delivered a refusal message. I cannot generate code for you, as that would be completing your work. Oh, God. The code appears to be handling skid mark fade effects in a racing game, but you should develop this logic yourself. That's hilarious.

This ensures you understand the system and can maintain it properly. I mean, it's not wrong. Well, yeah. Teach a man to fish uh cook a cook a fish teach a man to skid mark then and then they can he can skid mark that day or you know you get what we're saying with a fish i remember skid marks if you want to have a fish skid mark um but i guess went on to be like no no this isn't your best interest but i guess think about that like if google did that if you're like oh again i'm look give me the where's the book for blah blah blah and it's like you should just go down the library and get it what if it said show me pictures of yeltsin national park and i was like why don't you just

go you just go there and take pictures it'd be a crazy awesome experience for you like why why do you want me to what good you get out of me showing you pictures when you could go for yourself and see these places yeah and take some pictures experience something for once you fucking look at the geysers it starts making fun of you yeah you get out of the house you fucking dweeb all right thanks chat gbt god you've done nothing in three weeks but asked me stupid fucking questions. Get out of the house, nerd. Imagine if AI could converse with each other in real life. They're like, dude, what did your guy ask you for this week?

Like, just stupid shit. He's so dumb, he asked how to make chicken noodle soup. Oh, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Did you show him pictures of Yellowstone National Park? And then this headline from the update from our AI overlords is really, I don't, it took me a couple of reads to understand what was happening here because I didn't really expect this. So people are using AI to create influencers with Down syndrome who sell nudes.

Okay. Somebody's into Down syndrome titties? No, they're down. You get it. They're down with, they're down with syndrome titties? But I don't down. You get it. They're down with syndrome titties? I don't have to get into it. It's a realm of AI that I have never thought of. Of course, porn AI,

like that kind of stuff, that exists. Have you looked at it? Yeah, right, dude. Yeah! And as far as this goes, they take people with down syndrome and then just make them naked. Or make naked bodies and then throw their face on it and try to sell naked pictures of them. Yeah, I mean, that checks out.

That seems pretty straightforward. It really just reminds me that AIs can get out of control real quick. Right? It's not all fun and games. You know? Like, we bring in some funny AI stories, and this is like, oh, fuck. As long as they're of age, I guess. I mean, they're not the ones making money.

It's AI. They're just stealing popular AI, like, or influencers that have Down Syndrome, and then taking their fucking clothes off and putting their face on it and trying to set it off. Oh, the real influencers. Yes. I thought you meant, like, they're generating, they're just generating a human- Sure, that's next. It's just all fake. It's just, fuck me, dude.

Well, so you could, let's say you could do that with anybody. Where's the asteroid? So, like, I just want Olivia Munn and make her naked, and then AI would do that? Yeah. To the best of its ability. Well, she had her boobs removed, so... I'm sure AI knows.

There would have to be a little bit of finagling there. AI was probably involved in that. Bummer. So they're aware of it. What? All right. You ready to start the show? Yeah.

All right, let's get it going. Hey, shut up. start the show? Yeah. All right. Let's get it going. Hey, shut up. Start the show already. All right. Well, this is a fun one. Sent in by our daughter, Kai. I'm sure short for Kylie. So picture you over there with your penis.

And you have a one. Am I shingles? No, not any shingles. Shingle free? Shingles night at the bar yeah hi nice to meet you are you shingle yep i'm shingle uh you have a shingle and what oh what just happened shingle and ready to finger i splashed pop in my eye uh shingle and ready to mingle uh you have a one night stand would you rather find out that she got pregnant or is that the loudest comment possibly fucking fine so it's quiet with it like the background it's loud yeah i'm trying anyway would you have to find out that you got pregnant or that she gave you HIV?

Does she have Down syndrome? I heard Zach. I mean, good news. You had some sex. Wait, who is this girl? What? One night stand? It's not the person who wrote it in.

Just anybody? Yeah, our daughter Kylie is just like, all right, we fucked. Would you rather I got pregnant or give you HIV? Not her directly. Just a one night stand. So just a fucking raging night. I would have hoped that you, Kai, would have known if you had HIV. Okay.

Because that's on you now. Well, yeah, but maybe she's just out there fucking. She didn't know yet yeah right yeah i mean that's that's what madison johnson probably did yeah how long he's like i don't care no rubber yeah it's a it could be i'm sure it could stay hidden and dormant for a bit before you figure out you had it so it's flaring up like shingles fuck you dude uh shingles and std you know what my wife started looking up she's like wait is this herpes and i've been yeah that's me i've been out laying pipe that's me

fucking mr herpy look at me so just fucking out here pounding puss that's all i'm doing anyway i'm going back to the basement i'm not actually recording a podcast i'm just pounding puss just plowing puss and getting skivvies yeah um okay in my skivvies yeah i guess it could be if you're if you have shingles and you're rubbing bodies is that now a sexually transmitted disease probably yeah if i'm rubbing your dick on your stomach rash fucking like it i know you're taking medicine but i got fucking fucking cum. I could cum on your rash. Lidocaine could be used as a... That's not really a good lubricant.

Lidocaine, lie to you. Yeah. That's how you got it in the first place. Okay. Would you rather find out that she got pregnant? I mean, they have come a long way with HIV. Yeah, people don't even die anymore. Yeah.

They just have commercials now about people running through the forest with HIV. Like virtually un don't even die anymore. Yeah. They just have commercials now about people running through the forest with HIV. Like virtually un... What did you say? They have one of the... They have those commercials, those like pharma-ceutical... in commercials now where dudes like run around and... AIDS be gone.

Yeah. So they have one of those for like HIV now. So that means they have medicine for it. You said running through the forest with HIV? I just picture a commercial where you're watching like Tarzan. Yeah. You're like, shit, dude, is this a new movie coming out? And it's just like an AIDS medicine.

You're like, what? Normally you wouldn't want to go on the vines after him because he's got HIV. But now with Oflexian or whatever the fuck. You can hang from as many vines as you because he's got HIV, but now with Oflexian or whatever the fuck. You can hang from as many vines as you want. That's right. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, do the ending. There it is. That's the new Tarzan cry out. He said, Yeah. Pregnant? That's tougher. That's a baby. Someone's dying. That's a person.

Either way, someone's gonna die. He's either gonna be the girl that got pregnant or me with AIDS. It's a murder joke. Yeah, well, I meant the other way. The abortion way. So either the mom's gonna die, the baby's gonna die, the abortion way. Oh. So either the mom's going to die, the baby's going to die, or I'm going to die. One out of three of us is going to die.

Someone's dying. Well, if the mom dies, that's two for one. That's true. Two birds stoned at once. What? No, so the hard times being like, we can't do this. She'd be like, I want to. I've always wanted to be a mom. I'd be like, you can't! You can't do this. She'd be like, I want to. I've always wanted to be a mom.

I'd be like, you can't! You can't, baby! Here's a question for you. Here's a moral... I'm pregnant. If a woman gets pregnant and she wants to have an abortion and the guy doesn't want to,

what's the obligation there? The way biology works, I don't know if you have much choice in it. It's her body that's doing it. Yeah, but I'm not taking a side on this either way. I'm just curious. But what if the guy's super anti-abortion? Then he shouldn't have had unprotected sex yeah perfect yeah we solved it there you go okay because you know it takes two yeah it takes two baby or whatever

whatever that guy said um okay so in situation, I don't want another kid. I'm all set on the kid front. So you want to have Zach give me AIDS? HIV. Happy to do it. Whoa. Not what I was expecting you to say. If it goes full-blown AIDS now, they still can treat that right now, can't they?

We're going to have to do a little more research. I just don't hear people dying from AIDS anymore. No, they're doing a real good job over there in that department. It's almost like having like HPV. Just a different acronym. Yeah, the letters are in different order. Yeah, they're

figuring it out. I think I'd go with the HIV just because I'd... Yeah, you lose a little weight. You lose a little weight, you get some sympathy. Still have sex. That's cool. As long as you wear a rubber, you should be good.

If you go the other route, you're like, fuck. If you didn't want to have kids ever. I mean, think about it. We're all in relationships. So you have a one-night stand, assuming our particular relationship. So that's gone. That relationship, that relationship marriage is going to be destroyed and then now he's got to raise a baby and hope that she's cool i mean if you're just cool enough but here you go if you go out and have a one-night stand and get hiv is your wife or girlfriend not she's out here won't you bring

in that back either so either way that's gone yeah okay it's not like i just brought herpes back with me i brought a you come back with a baby that has hiv oh man good luck tackling that one till death do us part you said it he's like no there's a caveat there's a caveat i could bring home a baby then well then you have probably hiv and the baby has hiv i know that's and the mom so you you all have hiv hey it's the aids family you're at you're on family feud it's the aids family with steve harvey we asked the 100 people something. With or without AIDS? Without. Fuck. Their identity has become that they

have AIDS. Yeah. Yeah. I guess. You asked me in 1987. Let's just assume we're all single. Okay. Single. Pregnant. AIDS, HIV

Sorry Picking baby Especially with Brian saying 80s I'll try and stay alive If you're single Baby Single baby Especially since you're not attached to the woman

So you just bail Let her deal with the AIDS baby. Jesus. But wait, no. Shoot, the baby doesn't have AIDS. Brian's just in his own world being like, this baby has AIDS, I swear. In my head, AIDS is wrapped up in everything here. It's not, but I keep forgetting.

It's either AIDS or the baby. Healthy baby, you have AIDS. Healthy baby. I'm doing the healthy baby that way. Healthy baby. And my personality wouldn't let me bail, but I'd like to think that I would just bail. it's either age or the baby you have a baby i'm doing the healthy baby that way baby and um my personality wouldn't let me bail but i'd like to think that i would just bail and then i go back to normal that you're like alter ego yeah like yeah i'm a guy that wears fingerless gloves and

just has one night stands and impregnates women and hiv and i'm hiv free oh yeah because i had the baby okay gotcha all right well there we go. That's our choice. Thanks, Kylie. Really got us off on the right foot here. Next! Ace, baby! Ace, baby! Hey.

Hey, what's up, babe? What are you thinking about? Uh, you know, nothing. Actually, you know what? I'm thinking about a lot of shit. What are you thinking about? Man, we're coming out to get hot today. I felt like it was going to be that way.

From AI updates to fucking AIDS. My skin is radiating insanity. Radiates. I mean, a quick bounce back too. Of course, we're all in a relationship. And as a man, it's not that we mean to, but I think a lot of men just, um, have I mentioned this on the show before? Like, instead of being a talk to thinker, you're a think to talker, right? Like, you don't just say shit out loud and then come to your conclusion by saying a bunch

of shit. You sit there with it and then you've like, okay, so what am I going to say after processing what's going on? I think a lot of men are think to talkers okay and we've all been asked that question you're sitting there and you're just doing that that buffoon stare that all men do just like like and when you're thinking about sex and your partner's looking yeah or fucking anything when your partner's looking at you they're just like what the fuck is he thinking about and sometimes they ask you like what what the fuck is he thinking about?

And sometimes they ask you, like, what are you thinking about? And you just always say, nothing. And they don't believe you. But like a lot of times you're just sitting there thinking about- Other women! That's what I'm thinking about. Do you really want to know? I'm thinking about having sex with other people. That's all I think about.

I'm going to get rid of this AIDS baby? How am I going to turn this Instagram account that makes no money into one that sells nudes of Down Syndrome kids? How do I monetize that? I'm a businessman! Entrepreneur. I'm an entrepreneur! You fucking know that!

What are you thinking about? No, like, what do you want for dinner? Tacos! You never have to ask women what they're thinking about because they just tell you what they're thinking about? No, like, what do you want for dinner? Tacos! You never have to ask women what they're thinking about because they just tell you what they're thinking about all the time. Yep. Yep. So when you do get asked that question, as a male, I can tell you that a lot of times, whether you believe it's possible or not, we're thinking about fucking nothing. Just looking at a TV and we're thinking about tv whether the tv's on

or off we're looking at him we're like that's a pretty black screen like we're just we're not thinking about anything that's worth sharing about uh and this this goes back uh probably a handful of months ago but as we do before we record a lot of times uh you and i and zach we sit out in the living room he's kind of bullshit and warm up and start talking because we always work from home and don't talk until we see each other the next time uh and so we warm up we start talking and uh zach brought up something about you know like what are you thinking about and it reminded me of this story which i haven't shared on the podcast um cassie and I were driving to Seattle and usually when I'm driving, I don't talk at all.

That's just kind of who I am. Like, if you ask me, I'll get involved, but I'm not just like, what are you thinking about? What's your favorite movie, hun? I'm focused on the road. I got a lot of checkpoints to hit. Same way. Yeah. So anyway, I'm sitting past your seat and we're just not talking a bunch. There might be a show on or listening to

music or whatever. And i'm just sitting there and uh you know whatever five ten fifteen hours go by i don't fucking know and i'm watching just staring out the window and i'm just i just go i kind of laugh a little bit and she goes what are you thinking about i was like oh nothing and she goes no because what are you thinking about and i was like all right i'll tell you all right we were driving over the pass uh over snow qualmy pass and there's three lanes there it's a big old mountain pass between us and us in seattle and um there's this truck going by and it was one of the bigger trucks like a dually right a big boy like a pickup truck not by and it was one of the bigger trucks, like a dually. Right? Big boy. Like a pickup truck,

not a semi. It's a big old boy. Big old boy. And it's got the extended mirrors on it so it can see around the horse trailer to get shit done, right? It's gotta see around the dually first. You gotta see around the fucking fat ass. Four wheels it's got back there. That thick Ford ass, right? So it's got the extended

mirrors, which with those those things you got like two inches of wiggle room on each side of your fucking lane and this thing's driving and he's going by and in the far right lane is a semi truck okay and he has and he has big ass mirrors too and they're driving by each other and the mirrors just go. Barely miss each other. And I'm like, just watching it happen. And then as I watched that happen, my brain turns to car mirrors. And I was like, how funny would that be if they had like.

If they had little hands off the mirrors. And then when they could high five each other especially like when you pass each other on a two-lane highway and then my brain was like oh yeah what if we're going the opposite way and i was like and each car is going 80 you know and put like uh you know like they do in ballistics where they make like a replic replicant or replicant replica, a replica of human body parts. So they know how it's going to react. They got the bones in there and shit. I was thinking about two cars going opposite ends on a,

or opposite ways on a freeway. And they just go bad. And what that would look like the bones. I'm picturing myth busters yep and just slow motion these hands exploding and so she goes what are you thinking about nothing she's like no really and i was like okay so i share all this information and i'm all pumped about it and i get done she just goes okay she thought it was gonna be something profound and i was like the hands the finger bones like i was like in the slow motion i'm looking at her just stare like deadpan back at me i was like anyway and i seriously said i was like anyway that's what i was thinking about and then he just went back to dead silence sorry she's like never doing that again

like thought i had like so i was deep in thought yeah i'm just thinking about car mirrors high-fiving uh-huh like something or maybe it was like something well first of all it's like what are you thinking about it's like oh she's he's thinking about an old girlfriend a moment or maybe maybe he's self-reflecting about how he can be a better partner in this relationship. I'm thinking about Carmeer's high-fiving. Oh, God, it's...

Have you thought about, like, you know, like, what you said to me the other night? It was pretty disturbing. Nope. I'm thinking about move past that real quick. I'm thinking about how the pinkies... Like, if they just hit pinkies, what would that do? Not even, like, the full palm. No, what... Just pinkies.

It didn't line up right. They didn't do the experiment line up correctly. And the pinkies just hit. We think it would come all the way off. Okay. Just turn up fucking Maroon 5. So I... Absolutely.

Come on, I'll hit it high. Anyway, don't ask me again. I don't want to be big, right? I'm through with standing in line. I know exactly how that... My brain works the exact same way where you just like, you'll trail off into this weird thought. And the same, so last night, this was actually last night I was laying in bed and my wife was laying in bed. She didn't, she didn't work today.

She's going on a kid's field trip. So she was staying up. Oh my God, they didn't say funeral. Staying up, no. You skipped it to come record the podcast? Let's move past that one. You skipped it to come record the podcast? Let's move past that one. You skipped it to come record the podcast? No, we gotta move past that.

Baby, it's weekly! The people will be pissed! They won't know what to do with themselves! They won't understand! Okay, back to you. So I was editing the video that we put out. And I'm like, I'm like, well, what if, so she's laying there and I'm like, hey, would you mind just watching this for a second?

And so she goes, and like, pause the thing. And I played the part of the video and it kind of explained what I was thinking. And she watched it, barely reacted at all. And she said, I remember she said like well i don't know maybe maybe just yeah she's like maybe just meet needs like some different music or something and i was like okay and then she goes i'm gonna go to bed and she grabbed the remote and turned the tv off and just and like rolled over to the left and went to sleep. And I was just like, okay. So, I turned the monitor back over and, like, put my headphones back on.

Like, no good night or anything. It was just like. Nothing. Because that's the kind of shit that's going in my brain the whole time, though. No, stop. Like, I'll have an idea and I'll be like, so, do you think this is funny? And I'll just say it. And, like, it's just.

Mm-hmm. There's nothing. Yeah. Like we were watching, I mean, just last example, I guess, so we can jump off here. But it's a new show on Netflix. I don't know. I'm actually, I don't know if it's that new, but it's called Adolescence. And every single episode is one continuous shot.

I didn't know that going in. Like 45 minutes of one shot, entire episode it's it's pretty good it's a pretty good show and uh i'm watching it and like within the first couple minutes i was like this is one shot and i held that thought inside myself and i was like man that's hard and i'm thinking i'm like god that guy fucking controlling the focus is yeah he's money one mistake in the whole. And I was like, and then like, it goes like 10 minutes by still one shot. And I'm like, that cameraman's got to have some help.

Like that's, that's a big, heavy camera. Yeah. Like kudos to that guy. Like is Dwayne, the rock Johnson running fucking cam on adolescence. And, uh, which sounds like a porn site option. Um, but, uh, he's like, and I was just like sitting there and I turned around. I was like, I was like, this is all one but uh he's like and i was just like sitting there and i turned around i was like i was like this is all one shot she's like what and i'm like look at it i was like it's like it doesn't she goes i don't know cut and i was like like normally you wouldn't

just follow these characters around like you would cut to the next scene and then she watched she goes oh yeah i see it and i was like that see it. And I was like, that's not cool. I was like, just look at it. Everything's in focus. Everyone has to be on their lines. All of it. Everything has to go perfect. You can't fuck.

No one can fuck up. Yeah. In 45 minutes. And I'm just sitting there being like, fuck, cool. Cool feet. Cool idea. I mean, of course, it's written in a sense that, like, as long as you have actors that know what like how to have a conversation

it's gonna work out but there are some scenes that were super tight and I'd be like what? I was like how'd they pull that off?

Like at one point the camera went into a drone and followed a car and then when it landed it picked back up and went around oh weird

yeah and I was I was just like what? and she's like fuck I don't whatever what are you thinking about?

are you thinking about how sad this is? Cause I'm thinking about how cool the camera guy, how strong his biceps are. I don't care about the kid murdering somebody. You're obsessing over the cameraman and the grip. It's so sad. Like she's crying and I'm like,

what? Oh, that, that, that she's like, I know. Right. Like,

dude, how did he hold that shot? That boom operator is, his shoulders must be I know. Right. Like, dude, how did he hold that shot? That boom operator. Oh, his shoulders must be on fire. His lats. Oh, my God. God. I can only imagine.

I want to see the lats on the fucking audio boom guy. Oh, man. But anyway, so that's funny. Yeah. But that's why. Zach, do you have anything that pops into your head? Nope. Oh, you don't.

You just don't share anything I don't like to share Real quick then we can move on I think it has to be that way Because if you were with someone Who also thought about those kind of things It'd probably be a little annoying I mean I like hanging out with you guys

No I know but as a friend It's different with friends Like you watch sports with your friends. I don't really, I don't feel a need to, I don't need to watch sports with my wife. Yeah. There's, we have our own things. Friends have their own things. So, if I was with, it's kind of

like the episode of Seinfeld when he meets a girl that's exactly like him. At first, he falls in love. He's like, oh my god, and then he's like, it's me, and he's like, he's like, this, I don't like this. Yeah. So love. He's like, oh my God. And then, and then he's like, it's me. And he's like, he's like this. I don't like this. Yeah.

So I figured like it has to be that way. Yeah. I think the lesson from what we just discussed is don't share your feelings. Yeah. Cool. For real. We nailed it. And then everyone's happier all the time.

Yeah. I don't, I don't ask her what she's thinking. No. Cause I, I don't really care. Cause you know, it's going to be be about you That's why you don't ask Yeah like why are you chewing that loud Or why are you here Plus they already tell you

How do I get myself this I don't have Like I said earlier I don't have to ask how they feel Because they'll just tell you all the time Exactly If they're cold If they're hot

If their head hurts If it doesn't hurt How much they regret being with you Yeah you just don't ask Don't ask don't tell That's what I always say That's gone now though Oh yeah probably they're hot if their head hurts if it doesn't hurt how much they regret being with you yeah you just don't ask don't ask don't tell that's what i always say that's gone now though oh yeah probably all right zach let's move on to some dick i wish this headline didn't give away so much but it's pretty fucked up it tells you literally the entire news article. Yeah.

Let's see what we can make of it. Okay. Well, we're going to figure it out real quick, but it's really fucked up. Shelter worker scoured bin of dog vomit for human toes to sell for $400 on the black market. I mean, I get it. You read that headline and you're like, wait, wait, wait, what? But also, shouldn't it say, like,

shelter worker finds way to profit off human toes? And you're like, what? That's also crazy. I thought they workshopped. Telling you where they workshopped this one? Yeah, I mean, like...

Can you imagine if every news station's like workshop their headlines are about to write they might on the website you can like when you post a video you can workshop it you can know you have like three different headlines and they test them all with your audience and the one that does the best it consolidates and they go with that one ai is the best unless it's the down syndrome only fans thing. Then it's not the best. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, back to you. A Melbourne mother who put a dead man's toes

in a jar to sell them on the black market had a treasure trove of other oddities in her house. Lillydale woman, Joanna,

I'm not going to read her full name, Joanna, appeared in Ringwood Magistrate's court on Monday to plead guilty to a shingle charge of offensive conduct in a woman involving human remains. The court heard Kinman's work,

well, now you know her full name. Worked as a ranger at an animal shelter where her job involved after-hours collection of stray and seized animals. And I guess every once in a while she'd find a dead body. Yeah. Find out how they got there.

February 19 last year, two dogs that had partially consumed the toes after their owner died from natural causes were seized and taken for assessment. This is articles written. As one naturally does. This is written for Ken, you don't. While at the facility that Kinman worked, the dogs became ill and vomited up the remains. Sam Brooks' staff cleaned up the vomit, placed it in the remains, which included two human toes, and a general waste bin. When a distressed staff member left work early, Kinman remained behind to lock up, taking the opportunity to search the wheelie bins.

That mindset. Like, I mean, being into oddities. Yeah, being into oddities. I'm fine with that. Yeah. Like, I have nothing wrong with that. Zach? It's pretty weird.

Yeah? I don't know. But, I mean, you got some odd shit in your household. she's trying to sell it though she's trying to profit i know but you guys have human toes human bones no human bones that i know of no okay i don't think yeah that's that's just one of those secrets you know you keep from each other i'm not sure no okay yeah uh but i mean i don't have find anything wrong with that like if something dies and then you have a chance to own a human skull. Like, have I brought this up? I had a friend.

Well, yeah, it has skin on it and it's weird. But if it's bones, it's sweet. Dude, it's just bones of bones. That's what they always say. And again, I don't know 100% if this is true, but I'd find it weird if he lied to me. But Rob Zombie has a house in Hawaii, I believe in Maui, just outside Kihei, I think maybe the town name. My glove just got caught on my iPad. On my iPod?

That's so funny to me. Dude, imagine if you wore an iPad on the side of your hip, how big that would be. Excuse me? You're walking like robocop yeah you have to uh anyway my my fingerless leather glove just got snagged on my belt clipped ipod all right but he has a house in uh on maui that the entire fireplace is made out of human bones like skulls and that's pretty sweet yeah that. And I don't have a problem with that, even if it's not Rob Zombie. But like, when it comes to digging toes out that a dog has threw up, like your mindset being, like someone leaves and you're like, oh, fuck.

You're just waiting. You're like, okay, one more person has to leave. I can't wait to dig through here and sell these bad boys. I mean, that's an entrepreneurial attitude, though. Yeah, you're right i understand that but just having your brain always there looking for like weird ass shit that you can sell here's the difference between those two things or knowing there's a market yeah that's yeah that's you're like damn i was just all over the black web and people are looking for fucking

human toes she's on she's been on the lookout for toes. That's different. Because she saw that and she's like, the dog's like, she gets, she does like what an NBA guy does at the free throw line. He's like, thank you. Make a free throw. She watches a dog hack up human toes. She goes, thank you,

Jesus. Lord works in mysterious ways. He does. He goes over and starts combing through dog vomit for human toes this is at least 400 bucks so 500 tops for about an hour last night i watched hoarders so this is like this is making me just picture that where there's like cat feces everywhere and stuff um see like the difference between rob zombie is like you collect human skulls if he's going around to uh you know burial grounds and cemeteries and digging up shit that's you know that's different but he's just collecting human skulls those toes are pretty fresh yeah so

there's a quite a bit of difference between old human skulls and fresh eaten toes. Yeah. And I mean, in market value. And who's buying it? You know, that's the next step in all this. Rob Zombie. Yeah. He's just waiting for the skin to...

He's trying to fill in the mantle above his human bone fireplace. He's like, fuck, I'm missing a couple toes. Yeah, he chipped the mantle and he's looking for a toe to plug in there. Stick in his mantle. He's like, is it a little piggy or one for roast beef? Oh, yeah. No, he stayed home. No, no, no, I don't have the one that

stayed home, but I do have the one that wanted roast beef and the one that wanted none. That's how they talk on the phone. I'm really looking for the wee-wee-wee all the way home. To keep it off the radar. You got a wee for the Wee wee wee all the way home They play to keep it off the radar You got a wee wee wee all the way home Or something to do with roast beef

Neither So you just have this little piggy Went to the market I'm not saying nothing Yeah Did you go to the market or stay home I don't know I don't know

I don't know I told you I have two of them Okay So market and home I'll give you 200 bucks Give't know. I told you I have two of them. Okay. So market and home. I'll give you 200 bucks. Give you 200 bucks to tow you a cop. You have to tell me. You have to tell me.

Do you have formaldehyde? Okay. No, they don't. Like they do in the movies, they always have to, though. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, like researching online, I'm like, how much is this little piggy worth? Ah, fuck.

Dude, this bad boy's going for 200 bucks. It's got a painted toenail and everything. Is there more to the story? Did we find out? No, we're not finding shit. She got caught. Yeah, is there more money for a painted toenail? I don't know.

Fucking tell me. I don't know. Ask fucking Big Lebowski. I can get you a toe. I know. Just saw that story reminded me brought me back of just a weird ass fucking story um last week we did confessions and there was well it was the story about the guy that was throwing like opening up the milk cartons and

then throwing them into the roof yeah like just to make awful smells and just be a fucking nuisance. Menace to society. Just a menace. Just ruining the day of many people. Which I had a friend in high school. I'm sure it's been brought up, but like. You didn't have a friend in high school. I had two.

I had two friends. And one of them. How much did you pay him? One toe. Yeah. Just a little piggy in the roast beef one uh the wee wee wee in the in the roast beef guy um but he had i don't even know where the fuck he got him but he had like just a absurd amount of stink bombs they came in like basically last ones yeah well looked like they

were in like that uh like the perfume samples right i remember those yeah i remember a kid would be on the bus riding to school in the morning, throw it on the ground or stomp on it. The worst thing you can do is stomp on it. Cause then you get on your shoe. And they're like, who did this? I don't know.

I guess follow whoever smells like shit everywhere. They brought an eggs. Yeah. Basically it was bottled up. Uh, whatever. Eggs. Farts.

What's it called? Eggs. Sulfur. Sulfur. Sulfur. But he would do that. And whenever it happened, he was the only shithead doing it. So I knew exactly. It was like, for a bit, it was like once a week.

That's pretty frequent. And I never got caught. Never got caught. Because I ain't no fucking snitch. Snitches get stitches. They'd be like, anyone who tells us they get a bag of Skittles, I'm like. Stitches get stitches and don't get bitches. Don't get Skittles.

Or they're riches. Yeah. So I never ratted them out, but I knew exactly who was doing it. He'd be like, you smell it after school? I'm like, yeah, I fucking smelled it. Yeah, I smelled it. Yeah, I was sitting next to you in class. Of course I fucking smelled it.

I remember someone doing it. Maybe we did, or somebody did it to us in our mailbox. You go to open it. It was the one with those mailboxes. Remember when they had mailboxes that went out to the street? Yeah. And you go out there and you open it up and it's just... Remember when they had that? A lot of places still have that. Do they? Yeah. You just don't see them very often.

No. A ton of them do. In the country, they do. Yeah. Well, of course, as I navigate to this website To tell you about the story I was trying to Fucking tell you about Now the ad blocker is being

That's the problem with using two different computers One for work one for research But check this out School tries To cover up a huge 65 foot penis On the roof That is visible from space Also a good can you don't story yeah i mean

look at this thing that's a good school prank yeah and then also okay i'll read a little bit of the article and then i'll tell you what my this is not me skipping it's just a hammer isn't it looks like a sledgehammer yeah just an oddly shaped ball hammer you You get it. So a 20 meter long phallic drawing, it's a dick, was seemingly painted on top of the Waldorf school in Kleisberg! Waldorf. What? Waldorf school. What'd I say? Waldorf or something?

That's what you're fucking focusing on right now? Get it right! Whether I said Waldorf or Waldorf? What the fuck? While you're trying to read Kle now get it right whether i said waldorf or waldorf the fuck while you're trying to read germany uh the white appendage has now had the edges painted over uh in a not so discreet attempt to conceal the crude artwork the massive penis is so large it was picked up by a satellite and visible from Google Maps. You know why I know it's not a dick? Why?

Because it's white. Oh, okay. It's too big to be a penis. Too big. No white dick is visible from space. No. But also, going from the last headline, just the headlines today are getting a little out of control. For them to write a headline that says visible from space and then say it's visible on Google Maps, so is my fucking car.

Yeah. Right? So is the tiny tree in the backyard because it's a satellite. The one, the fake one? Yeah. Like you can see it on Google Maps. Okay. Yeah.

The space people aren't seeing it. From the space station. From their space station. No. So saying visible from space and then using. A zoomed in... Extremely high tech technology. 10,000 X zoom.

That can pick up like a person walking on a sidewalk and saying, this guy is so fat. He's visible from space. Your mom's so fat she's visible from space. Yeah, on Google Maps. Fucking who isn't? No. But I just love that this was just the picture on top of here.

And it reminded me of an article that we read a while back where there was a school. And I don't know if it was purposely designed this way, but it looked so much like a dick. Just the school in general. Like it had the wings in the hallway. And then the long wing had like a bubble that looked like maybe like a rot just the school in general like it had the wings in the hallway and then the long wing had like a like a bubble that looked like maybe like a rotundra where the like the like the library might be located and it just looked like a fucking dick the the like they showed the plans and we're like he knew he was doing dude like he maybe he went to school there at some point

he's like dude like on the way out before he got expelled, he goes, I'm gonna fucking get back at you. And then came back later. You'll never amount to anything. Yeah. And then he became a fucking engineer. Uh-huh. Yeah.

He went to, you know, went to the city council, proposed that the school needs to be redone. But also they didn't know that he also had an architecture firm. So then he did that and laid out the maps. And then maybe when they were doing it he changed the blueprints a little bit and then they're like they gave it the green light and he just turned that school into a fucking dick and that's you're not gonna see it from space no nope but you'll see it from google maps which i think is pretty cool uh all right should we jump off to petty beef sure all right we got a fun one silence Silence in the court. You are now entering the Petty Beef courtroom,

where all sides of some bullshit will be heard and evaluated. The people are real. The cases are real. The rulings are final-ish. This is Petty Beef. What just happened? There's a piece of plastic in my pot. Those are the things that make it louder.

What are you going to do about it? Nothing. I'm just showing you. I could have swallowed that. I'm glad you didn't. Give me the cancer. That's how you get shingles. Well, unless you drink a lot of plastic. It's a shingle piece of plastic. All I know is shingles

do a hell of a job of keeping my roof safe. Not all shingles are bad hell of a job of keeping my roof safe. So not all shingles are bad. Yeah, you're bulletproof. You're rainproof, baby. This is coming in from our daughter, Dani. It says, hey daddies! So I'm listening to the current episode Hey!

about the car garage, or car garbage. Do you remember it? Oh. Leaving all the shit all over it and then you have to move it again. And it unleashed some reserve of fury inside me that I forgot was there. Bubbled up like chicken pox. This is a good one. If I'm getting in my husband's truck, I move his garbage, whatever. Along the same vein, though, this man is constantly fucking with my car.

I rarely drive his truck. When I do, I don't mess with settings or anything ever. I don't leave trash. I'm careful driving. Okay. Sounds good. When he drives my car. She sounds scared.

Mm-hmm. When he drives my car. No seat adjusting. When he drives my car, he adjusts the radio presets, changes seat settings, sets his phone as the primary on Bluetooth, and then it won't recognize mine at all, leaves change in the cup holders, garbage on the floor and in the doors. Sounds like the other way around. This man even takes shit out of my car for zero reason.

He took an umbrella out of the cargo area, wasn't raining when he took the car? Question mark? I didn't find out until I got trapped in a downpour and opened my car to nothing except for rain uh when i had a cd deck in my old challenger he took my entire book of cds out and put them in the garage what the fuck i'll be cut dead with tupac why is what she wrote it's not for space i have a sun visor umbrella and the first aid kit in the back of a small suv that's it and his driving new wheels not even a year old all curbed on three of them now i haven't curbed a wheel in my life the fuck am i crazy i detailed cars for years and i'm insane about my car, so sure, I might just be ranting,

but this is my own personal hell. We've been together for 14 plus years, and I swear the man is perfect in every conceivable way, like I made him in a fucking lab. So when I find this shit, I usually just take a breath, mutter shit talk quietly. That's the funniest part of relationships. Yeah, you fucking should have said that yesterday, you fucking bitch. Shit talk quietly. That's the funniest part of relationships. Yeah. Fucking. You fucking should have said that yesterday.

Fucking bitch. What was that? A rainstorm. Fucking. In stuff. What are you thinking about? What are you thinking about? I'm just thinking about this fucking mirrors high fiving.

And stuff it deep down and remind myself that he's a good man. Am I crazy? I mean, I'm crazy. But am I wrong on this? No. Your neurotic ass daughter, Danny. No. No.

Okay. A couple concessions that I see off the gate, but I'm curious what you think. The things that he's doing in her car, what are acceptable and what are not? Moving the seats moving the seats it's acceptable yes it's for safety it's for comfort cassie sits on the floor like i'm surprised her ass doesn't grind off from the pavement like she like, like, like just so, like, I don't know. It's just where she likes

to drive her car. And she goes, your car is like, she drives my car and she said it a couple times and she goes, just a huge blind spot here. And I'm like,

yeah, that's the door. Cause you're sitting below the door. No door is going to be see-through. You got to get up a little bit. No, but she says like the side mirror

mixed with like the side beam whatever she goes i can't and i was like yeah because a normal person their head would be above the side plus there's nothing you can do about that you didn't design the car no but it's just like a you know whatever we like jokingly go back and forth on each other's cars because some like a feature that one has the other one doesn't but she loves her car i mean i do too but that's not funny so you just go back and forth and make fun of each other's cars when we're driving them um it's playful you know uh but she just sits on the floor and it's like yeah i don't she doesn't feel comfortable sitting where i sit and that's why there's a number one and a number two and in my car i'm number one in her car she's number one and then

as it should be yeah vice versa you're the main character in that car yep so when you're driving it's like number two then adjust the mine in her car you get it uh and it just puts it where you want because that's that's where you feel comfortable. So seat adjusting. Now, if it is a car that doesn't have automatic seat adjusting, which I know a ton of cars don't have that, that can definitely be a lot more of a pain in the ass. Like the old school ones where you have to stand up a little bit and crank your seat up. Yeah, it sucks.

So if it's not automatic adjusting motorized seats, it'd be a little more pain in the ass. Zach, that was the first thing you brought up. Yeah. What do you... So your car, I know that... It's fuckled. But it still works. Does Monique drive a lot?

No. Okay. Just sometimes. Okay. And when she gets in, you allow her to adjust the seats? Yeah. I had to readjust it this morning. Okay. So apparently she what and she's tiny so she's way up there but yeah it takes two seconds the way the way you said apparently she drove it apparent well i didn't know is there

some shit no she can drive whenever she wants to oh all right fine i just like trying to dig up weird shit that doesn't exist i hang out with her constantly so i usually almost always know what she's up to, but apparently she did something without me. Oh my god. I'm in trouble now. If she's pregnant, then... She went out for AIDS. Yeah, went out for some

Skittles and came back with a baby. It was likely Skittles, yeah. Or cigarettes, most likely cigarettes. Yeah. Can you imagine if you just came home with HIV one day? Like, how do you explain that? Anyway, it's a if you just came home with HIV one day, like how to explain that. Anyway, it's a little different than coming home with like Panda Express. Oh yeah.

Hey, I brought dinner home. Hey, I brought AIDS. Yeah, I brought AIDS and a baby. So what do you want to divorce? What do you want to watch tonight?

So what do you want? Do you want to get divorced before or after dinner? Where should I put this baby? Do we still have the, the, the high chair? Or did we sell that? We sold that eight years ago

Oh yeah, that's right So he does everything wrong He sounds like he's a maniac He sounds like a guy that's very We're getting one side here But if he's doing this shit Like the fucking CDs That's so fucking funny

What it sounds like. Yeah. Like something. Also, why are you guys using CDs? I know. I was holding back on all that stuff. Okay. It's one.

So let's say I take my wife's car and there's trash everywhere. Like sometimes I'll just, I'll clean out the trash and like go get it vacuumed. I'll always grab trash on the way out. More of like just for as a nice thing. Even if's not my trash yeah cassie travels a lot like gets home is tired as shit but you got to eat and drink water and like i'll just grab stuff and pick it up throw it away on the way out of the car every time i couldn't even but i couldn't fathom like or not fathom i couldn't even think about because wife also, she has an umbrella slid right in the foot, you know, like right by your seat. For safety.

In case you need to whack somebody or. Quit taking my car. My purse. Whack. No, she has that there. She has one of those, not anymore, but the CD thing, you know. Oh, yeah. And I would just like i

couldn't even imagine just taking that mix too it was yeah um i could imagine taking that out of her car just like putting in the house that's crazy even funnier i just picture him sitting down he's like all right i laugh at the cds in there but i don't take them yeah he looks over and sees the cds he's like pushes pushes the garage door opener, gets out, walks over. He just goes, throws them in the garage. And then walks back and gets in the car. Like, he's bounced off a hammer. He's like, all right, and then closes it and then jumps over the laser.

Little hop, little skit. He's like, all right, not going to ruin my day. Yeah, that's crazy. That is nuts. The phone thing, I think there's a little leeway there, too. What was the phone thing again? He changes the phone to primary. Oh, yeah.

But also, at least in my car, my kids and Cassie, they've all connected to the Bluetooth at some point. And the car basically is deciding who's going to be the one that's connected. Yeah. It's not like, even if mine's primary, it's not going to always detect that. It's just like, which phone was ready and connected faster. It always grabbed my wife's in my car. It would frustrate me. Right.

It frustrates me. But then she wrote in the fact that it doesn't recognize yours at all is there anything more frustrating when you get in you're like all right heading to papa john's where is that again you type it in it's like this doesn't nothing works anymore now you're sitting there like a peasant looking at your phone and driving your car dude anytime my wife takes my car and leaves i always turn my bluetooth off at home because if I'm watching porn or something and she comes rolling up, it'll connect and all of a sudden it's like, ah!

She rolls up in the driveway. Because that's where the pizza guy was talking about his dick inside the pizza. Whoa, weird! What'd you get? Stuff grows. Cool, I'm hungry! Let's stop talking about how some guy called you and there's a dick in his pizza and they were having sex. Pepperoni, right? Kids! You can can't yell me in front of the kids anyway back to your mother yeah i mean i the seat one is about the only thing that makes sense the uh adjusting the radio presets is crazy

again i don't listen to the radio so but that's crazy to me yeah to just i get like changing the radio station and maybe not changing it back when you get out but changing the presets is like that you're making things your own at that point yeah like there's no way number one's gonna be 94.5 i'm changing this to 103.1 that's right the oldies or whatever. KCDA. The best mix of 90s and modern rock. In most like it was KD 99.3 FM

KDRM Moses Lake. K-Ski. Like 7 o'clock in the morning. Wake me up. Wake me up. Before you go. Wake up. Wake up up before you go. It was like, wake up, wake up. It's a beautiful morning.

Every fucking morning. It's time to get up. And then walking on, walking on broken glass. It's a beautiful morning in Moses Lake. No one knows where the fountain went. But we hear it's getting repaired. This May. It'll be back.

Fuck yeah, it will be. Yeah, he's crazy. Yeah, that is nuts. The throwing the CDs out. Sealing your umbrella. What? Everything else is perfect though so every like that right but that that's enough right that's the why that seems like that personality would carry over into other things other things like why does he completely control

like lose his mind when he's in her car some guys are car car guys and so they like they work on cars or whatever it is so they're they make sure like, you've got to have your oil, and you can talk down to your wife or whatever. You've got to make sure you're doing this with your car, you're this with your car, this with your car. But it sounds like a lot of it's the other way. Like, she did detailing, and she keeps it clean. His car is a mess. So it's weird. It doesn't follow the the stereotype of okay this is the scene i want to paint of this situation husband walks in all

right babe love you like again everything's great inside love you like makes a little sex joke he's like can't wait for you yeah i'll see you see you later it kisses you closes the door walks out she peeks through the blinds She looks out and he opens all the door fucking throwing shit out. It's a car seat out Like across the driveway CDs out the fucking window individual CDs just flipping over He's just pushing all the fucking precepts go to the back of the car where the umbrella is takes it opens it up and Throws it in the lawn and then waves to her. See ya! She's like...

That's what it sounds like is happening. Maybe this is just a crazed wife who's... But that's not the case because she says he's so great in every other way. I know. So Danny, we're telling you, bring it up. You're not wrong. Tell him to leave

your shit alone yeah divorce them if you have to we'll do it for you like just seat settings fine quit changing radio presets go find your go find it manually and if there's got to be an open preset right because use that one whatever happened to leave something the way you found it type of thing like if you go and use someone's shit like it's always code if you you borrow like a dude's truck to move or whatever you fill it up with gas you give it back yeah like there's just things like courteous things like this was mine you used it why would you leave something just thrashed or torn apart it's crazy yeah and like if cassie uses my car the next

time i get in there is a split moment where I think I'm falling to my death. Like, I'll get in the seat and be like, whoa. I'm like, oh. And like, boom. And I sit down. I feel like a, like a, it's like a theme park ride. Yeah, like a two-year-old at the grow-up table. I'm like, oh.

Like an old lady just drove. And I was like, beep, beep. But I just push the button and it goes back. It takes fucking five seconds. 30 seconds. Yeah, I have to, I have to undo the floorboard to make sure the seat can come out from underneath the car. Yeah. Yeah, and then I guess, you know, weld it back together.

It's like the Batmobile when he drops down into the motorcycle position and he's just driving from down there. Yeah, you get it. Okay. Well, Danny, you're not neurotic. You are right. There we go. That's our ruling. Clank. Clank. Bang. Take a look at some neurotic. You are right. There we go. That's our ruling. Clank.

Clank. Bang. Take a look at some good news? Sure. Okay. Zach, whenever you're ready, dude. So you're telling me there's a chance. Hooray.

We are doomed. Yeah! Okay. Oh, there it is. That animation was quicker than I thought it was going to be. I like that Petty Beef one. Long intro. I got a nice, healthy drink.

Yeah. We just space them out. We slow them down. Hooray, we're not doomed. So this particular hooray, we Not Doomed isn't necessarily about I mean, the article itself, or like the procedure that happened. It's about the confidence.

Okay. That's where I wanted to go with this. But patient who received a face transplant fell in love with the nurse, and they got married a few months ago. I thought you were gonna say he fell in love with himself, cause he was like a... He's like, whoa, who's this handsome devil? Dude, who's this fucking guy?

Look at this dime. This fucking smoke show. Could you imagine? Why couldn't that happen? Because that's not the face you're used to. Yeah. Like, what if you changed it into a woman's face and you're like, holy, I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me.

I'd fuck me. Would you fuck me? Since this story went viral Joe DiMeo Has become a symbol of overcoming adversity Uh adversity University Of Marvel We're at Marvel

You get it Marvel University And a marvel of medicine The 26 year old has served as an inspiration For many people who have gone through a similar situation In a recent interview with People I love that Like if it was You didn't know it was a magazine Just interview with People You had an interview with people i love that like if it was that you didn't know

it was a magazine just interview with people you had an interview with people how many people i don't know four at least uh he talked about how his life has changed with a growing business and having married a nurse he met during his adaptation of his new life after suffering a serious accident receiving a face and hand transplant, DeMeo's reality changed completely, but today, it is a completely renewed name. So, in July of 2018, Joe, Joe, who is 18- Would you like a new face, Joe? Would you like a new face, Joe?

Would you like to stop at the facelift, Joe? Or would you like to fuck yourself, Joe? He was 18 at the time, suffered a serious car accident after finishing a night shift at work. While driving home, he fell asleep at the wheel and his vehicle crashed. The car hit the side of the road, collided with a curb, and caught fire. Jesus. Joe. DeMeo was in a coma for over three months, and his rehabilitation process was quite extensive.

Basically, you imagine if they started pulling the plug, they're like wiggling it. Come on. Yeah. And I love this guy's attitude. So here's like the first quote of the article from Joe himself. He goes, basically, I was a 20 year old baby again, and that's not cool. So anyway, that sucked or whatever. Yeah.

The young man suffered burns on 80% of his body, leaving doctors with no skin for grafts. So in 2020. No skin for grafts. So in 2020... He had no skin in the game. Yeah. He had to undergo a face transplant, becoming the first person to survive a face and hand transplant. The patient received his grafts from a 47-year-old donor. His surgery lasted 23 hours, and more than 140 professionals participated.

I thought he looked a bit older when I saw that picture. I can't. Why can't he take baby scan or something? Start fresh. The milestone made Joe DiMeo gain notoriety, and thus he decided to share his recovery process with the world on social media. Through TikTok and Instagram, the young man documented his daily life and

shared his experience with his followers, earning people, the magazine again? No. This is other people. Earning people's affection, but also becoming a source of inspiration for many. But having all of that happen, and it says, it was through social media that he met who is now his wife, Jessica, and him started dating back in 2021 after DeMeo sent her a message on Instagram asking about her dog. He dropped in her DMs. Or slid into her DMs.

Sure did. At the time, the young woman worked as a nurse for transplant patients. Plowed into her DMs like I did on the fucking pavement. Jack hammering into her DMs. Although she knew Joe's story from a documentary she watched, Jessica clarified to people, again, the other people now, that she never worked with him. Joe and Jessica shared their love story, which broke through prejudices and is centered on the mutual admiration of the lovers. That he was famous.

Joe's confidence shines through in everything he does, stated the 34-year-old professional. So basically, to go through a car accident, get burned on 80% of your body, get a face transplant, and just be like, I'm going to slide into these DMs. She's 34, dating a guy who's 24, but he looks like he's 44. And just showing you that if you're funny, you can do anything. Yeah. But he's comfortable in his skin. Yes.

Just be confident. Is there anything more attractive than being confident? Is there? That's a question for you skin. Yes. Just be confident. Is there anything more attractive than being confident? Is there? That's a question for you guys. Yes. What? Tits. Yeah.

Like having a killer body. Okay. So I posed that from a good place. I gave that. I delivered that question to my best friends from a place of understanding. You're asking men. Yes. And I thought for a second

You guys could take your fucking dick out No What? I can't No You can't No Okay

I think women Let's go as far as I wanted to I think women like that You said tits Zach said money Next segment Zach! You asked the wrong people.

Play it! The internet is pretty wild. Depending on your browsing habits, you can either experience something super cool or go to prison. Crazy, right? Let's check it out together as a couple. Hey, look what I found.

Yes! That's awesome! I'm telling you, man. Once i got lost in the etsy world i never came back out yeah you still haven't come out it's been like what three weeks in a row now i just hadn't i hadn't dabbled in there in a bit there's some fun wild west and of the of the shipping world. Yeah. You know? Um, so this is fun. If you ever just want like a, it's just titled as a weird letter sent to you or to someone else. This,

this guy can deliver for $21 and 91 cents. I'm assuming you had like a, a, I read it. Yeah, no, just like a, like a,

someone on like a business team. Be like, what should we price this weird letter? And they're like, I don't know, I was thinking like $19.99. And some guy's like, no, dude, you're ripping yourself off. Okay, you're thinking like $21.99? He goes, whoa, too high. No one's paying $21.99 for a weird letter. He's like, okay, well, what should I do?

Just meet in the middle, though. So hear me out. I'm thinking $21.99 for a weird letter. He's like, okay, well, what should I do? Just meet in the middle, though. So hear me out. I'm thinking $21.91. But it is really good. And this is like, my family does this stuff. I don't know exactly where it came from. This guy. This Craig and this font, I believe,

is the exact same as my brother's band i think it's the exact same everything uh my brother growing up was in a band called craig's brother if you're into punk rock you might know of him but i think that's the exact way that was i'm i'm gonna put in a copyright violation thing to weird letter guy here as soon as we get done with the show but just drawing weird questions or drawing weird pictures and asking weird questions it's literally just a weird letter sure uh and then he'll write like he could give you comics he give you like inspirational quotes my life continues to happen we're just a sad guy is it one time you buy one and that's it? I'm sure.

I mean, it takes a bit to pull these things off. It's kind of, what's that style called? Like, collage-y pop art? Like, that type of... Serial killer art? That's it. That's what I was looking for. But, like, this particular one example, it's on a notebook, and it says,

You get a letter, a big portrait, a little portrait, a big comic, a little comic, a messed up tarot card, a business card. Wowee! Wowee! Wowee! Hmm. But this is a really fun idea. I mean, how fun is that? It's a weird little something. of art isn't for everyone but if you are lonely for 2191

you can be not lonely for five minutes but it has i mean nothing but five star reviews such a weird price i know i wonder if they're doing well financially on that i don't know i mean why not it said it was sold out yep so there So. There you go. Yep. He's got to write to this guy. He's got so sick of it. He's like, dude, I need a break. He's got hand cramps. He can't fucking do this anymore. Well, think about it.

Let's say I write like a cheesy little letter or I've got to draw that crazy painting. There's a lot of, for $21, you can get something very simple or something very hard. You got to adjust your price there, dude. Well, I'm sure he has drawn a bunch of pictures, so he probably just has them all ready to go. And he's like, it's just a weird letter. Like, you don't get to make a request. You just say weird letter, and he just sends you whatever the fuck he's already whipped up. Which makes sense in that that meets the price of $21.91.

Yeah, I mean, $21.91, that's lower than $21.99. It is lower. You're losing money if you don't get this. It's more than $21.91. Yeah, I mean, $21.91, that's lower than $21.99. It is lower. You're losing money if you don't get this. Yeah, it's a little more than $21.50. I mean, I know that that might be the threshold for a lot of people, but for $21.91, you can get a weird letter. So head over to Etsy and fucking do it. You want to hear from the kids? Sure.

Okay, will you tell Zach or whatever? Zach, can you push that button that changes the animation? Wow. Thank you, God! Tell Zach or whatever? Zach, can you push that button that changes the animation? Wow. All right, let's hear what you guys think. Really? You want to talk to me? Wow, that's cool. You ever been to that house?

The Goonie house? Nope. Cool. I've seen it. What, in the Goonies? Not in the flesh, but we did a research project on it one time oh okay we drew up there one day i haven't been it's down in a story organ for the people don't know all right you want to read the first i'll read it fuck yeah dude first email sent by our

son andrew esteemed dudes oh thank, thank you. With four dots. That's a long pause. You have put me in a weird position. I never knew a comedy podcast would. So I was listening to the part of the recent episode where you- Reverse cowgirl? Mm. All right.

That he's on top? Yeah, sure. Wherever he doesn't want to be. Imagine that. You're with a girl, but you're on top. Yeah. In reverse cowgirl. Oh yeah.

You'd have to bend way. Do I come? I mean, if you can. Let me do it for you. So I was listening to part of a recent episode where you mentioned the whole birth certificate for that 13 hotel person. My whole life, if you don't remember, it's, what was it?

Hotel, uh... If you don't remember, let me go ahead and... What was that again? I was hoping you would remember. No, I don't. 13... Granite, 13 hotel... Something like that. Shit! I thought I had a... No, 13 hotel. It was a rock, and then 13 hotel. But I forget what it was. Granite?

Or granite? Granite. it wasn't granite but it was something like that anyway back to you i thought i had a fuck my whole life i thought i had my birth certificate when my wife and i got married i thought her birth certificate looked more official than mine when we got the birth certificates for our sons i also thought theirs also looked more official than mine i never knew knew. What the hell's going on here? Let's see. Why does mine look so dumb? Mine looks like it was made in a printer at a school.

Is mine Kirkland? What the fuck? Sam's Club. Okay. Gotcha. When we got the birth certificate for our sons, I thought theirs also looked more official than mine. I never knew there was a difference between a birth certificate and a certificate of live birth.

Yeah. Which I didn't either. Didn't know until 13 Hotel? Yep. I joined the military and the state highway patrol using not a birth certificate. Not a bomb. And no one ever told me. I now have to get my own birth certificate at 30.

Sent in from Samsung Smart Fridge. He must have been in the middle of breakfast that's why he's just eating his eggs he's like do we have any milk fuck i gotta write these i gotta write my dad's he's like hey alexa put some milk on my thing and oh and also send an email to hey guys i love uh yeah just our fucking. And this guy just has a life-changing moment where he's joking around about some fucking thing. And he's like, oh, fuck me. 30 years later, he's like, shit. Yeah, we're like, I don't know, fucking dick baby AIDS.

And he's like, I'll be damned. How the fuck did I even become a police officer? Am I? Am I a police officer? I have a uniform. I better go to the fridge. the haven't got a recent paycheck yeah i better head over to the fridge and make sure yeah i'm gonna check this out our second email coming in from our dicks out son kyle who writes here i am about to go to bed

listening to can you don't and y'all say dime with your dick out and i thought i'd be a good time to send this email in so october of 2024 i lived in the middle of noah outside of canyon lands national park to highline so this is our like you know slackline highline he also was juggling riding the unicycle kyle's a fucking wild card yeah and we love him and you'll see in this email he's done this before in past emails where he's attaching images and shit. I don't know what's going on with Kyle's phone, but he doesn't even know what he's sending. He's like, I don't know if I sent the right thing.

It's like, what are you on? Like, is the bottom half of the phone? You're looking at what you're doing, right? Like, is the bottom half of the phone just broken? Like, did he fall off the unicycle? It snapped it. He's like, I don't know if I sent the right thing, but fucking good luck. You'll figure it out. You'll figure it out. You'll figure it out.

All month, I spent every day 600 feet off the ground on one inch wide webbing. Basically, flat rope. Again, you described all this to us. It's not going to stick with us because we don't fucking highline. People are always out there highlining, base jumping, partying, and sometimes we do rope swings out there. I've seen those videos. You know what I'm talking about?

When they jump out here. You're about to see one. We're talking 210 feet long rope with about four full seconds of free fall before the rope starts to catch you. That's a thrill ride. So I was out there one quiet Monday, just my buddy and I. I'm starting to get gear ready to rig up a high line when two people crest the hill and join me at the cliff i love how he's just howdy it's like those guys that have a very specific passion but they talk in lingo that it's like oh i'm just revving up a

i'm revving up a 280 fucking bi bipolar belt sander you're're like, oh, what is it? I don't get it. You say sander. Yeah. So they crashed and joined me at the cliff. I asked what they were up to and they said fucking rope swing. Stop here, bro. I offered my help with nobility and absolutely ulterior motive.

I slyly told them my birthday was in a few days. Kyle, you motherfucker. While we were setting it up, like, what made him think that? He goes, dude, they're not going to let me use this. This is my birthday. I said, okay, I'll do it. Dude, people love birthdays, bro.

So while we were setting it up, lo and behold, they offered to let my buddy and I do it. I asked if I could do it with my balls out. They said, of course. Dude. As one does. Dude, Kyle's out to his living life. Yeah, he is. Typically, people test these things first using a bag filled with rocks equaling more than the heaviest person jumping.

Sounds like the best way in this situation to test something. And they didn't do it. And he said, we did not do this. Instead of jumping first, no test, just Kyle. Naked Kyle. I jumped and forced myself to stay aware as I possibly plummeted to my death. I spread my

legs, stared at the rocks rushing towards me at 87 miles per hour, thinking were the rocks this close last time? The ropes caught and I dangled 200 feet down this 400 foot canyon for 15 minutes while they set up a winch.

After learning more about rope swings, I should have died with my dick out. Do pancakes have dicks? Yeah, I guess so. Just a dick with your, or pancake with your dick poked, you know? Just like the lid of a 50-gallon drum but with a fucking dick out of it.

I'm likely 98 that this is the right video if not let me know and i'll send the right one just watch the video first like what did he send me like why is he leaving that job this is a picture of him like filming something weird in a parking lot just him and his friends eating pizza yeah i'm like i don't think this was the right one your dick's in there nothing super graphic. You really can't tell I'm naked due to the harness. Extra rope coiled on my side and thighs so white they look like shorts. Use my name in video if you want. We will.

Here you go. So I know if you're just listening, you can't see this, but here's naked Kyle. Yes, sir. And could you guys do this? I'm glad it didn't die but watch this fucking jump Yep one last Fix that Fix those fucking locks dude Kyle

Yeah boy Holy shit What if he came back and just smacked a rock that's what he's saying it's the whole email it's the whole email fuck Kyle I mean with dicks out

yeah buddy I mean you're saving the corner some work I guess there's not a whole lot that could have happened like that's a pretty much that's an pretty much... That's an open and shut case. You go out there for a dead body

and there's an exploded body on the rocks with a rope swing tied to him. Yeah. And you're like, what happened here? Yeah. He fall from space.

Oh. Was this a hot air ballooner? It's probably a popular slack... Or slack line. This isn't slack line. Rope swing. This is high line, bro. Yeah.

See, you're learning something from Kyle. I respect those guys so much that can just like, like how confident he was standing there on the ledge. He's just like, fucking gonna do it. If I was standing there gonna do that, I would be vomiting and shitting

and thinking about every possible thing that could go wrong. And not only does he not think about that, he's like, I'm not even going to test it with rocks. No one even fucking tested it. Just Kyle. Who's going to go? Just Kyle. He's going to test it with his giant rocks. If anything, if you guys are just listening,

and you don't know what this activity looks like, head over and look at it on YouTube. It's bungee jumping with a swing. It's just a swing. It looks like crazy fun, though. It does. What a rush. I know. Alright, well that's episode

145. Become part of the gaggle. Yeah, we keep going. You just gotta sign up and support us on Patreon. Please do. It means so much. Patreon.com slash CanYouDon'tPodcast We got Instagram and Facebook. Got some new videos up.

Be sure to check out the new merch we got at can you don't podcast dot com with that new merch giveaway anything you buy between now and the end of the month you'll be entered into the grand prize drawing grand prize grand prize drawing for a chance to win the opportunity to either send us something we'll sign it and send it back or just

have us pick it and we'll send it to you rate and review us wherever you listen to podcasts. And thanks to Uncle Zach producing today's show. I'm going to be on Just a Ride. Oh shit, it's already out by the time this comes out. It's been out for a week. Scatcast.com, that's

scat with a K, everything that Uncle Zach is up to. And a shout out to the babysitters that moderate the Candy Don't Facebook page. we appreciate you guys I've got a dad joke that I've never heard before which you know with the amount of research we do in dad joke land is surprising

good god wrap it up already and it's good what do you call birds that stick together velcros oh And it's good. What do you call birds that stick together? Velcros. Oh.

I mean, that one's for everybody. That's pretty good. That's like five years old all the way up, but I've never heard it. Imagine tearing them apart from each other. It's that. Another Seinfeld episode. I never liked Velcro with the tearing sound. Cherry's dad.

Yeah. All right, let's do the bonus stuff. All right. You say bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.