Can You Don't? - Can You Don't? | Snort. Sketch Artist. Gerty. Male Escort.

Episode Date: June 25, 2025

When you think of jobs Bryan could possibly have in this world... would you ever imagine courtroom sketch artist?! BECAUSE IT F**KING HAPPENED. Let's talk about that, snorting liquid poop off your mom's finest china, the worst blowup doll for your dog, your grandma giving her entire estate to a male escort, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://www.patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast ***New Episodes every Wednesday at 12pm PSTWatch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/_vY3WSGmX6sSend in segment content: [e-mail]: http://canyoudontpodcast.comMerch Inquires: [e-mail]: http://facebook.com/canyoudontpodcastIG: http://instagram.com/canyoudontpodcastYouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wyt5rtOfficial Website: http://canyoudontpodcast.comCustom Music Beds by Zach CohenFan Mail:Can You Don't?PO Box 1062Coeur d'Alene, ID 83816Hugs and Tugs.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Snort. Sketch Artist. Gertie. Male Escort. The mission is simple today kids. We have to save Brian. What? From sadness from sickness. Yeah, I'm not sad. That's debatable. Little scared.

Scared. I mean, we are, we are getting the show up and going today. Doing a little pre funk as we always do. And just I took one look at Brian. I was like, I'm gonna go put a put a vest on. So if you're wondering why I'm wearing a tiny vest, it's because I wanted to cheer Brian up. There's something missing though. You're missing your little cowboy hat. Well, yeah, you're not this isn't the same vest. Oh it's not?

No this is like the dress vest I used to, Moretta, for the first like three years. Oh yeah. We had the whole like classic look going. Yeah. I had a pocket watch that came out of here. I thought that was your cowboy vest at first. Oh no no no no. It kind of looks like an Amazon vest. Like a little name tag on there.

Yeah. Joe. Joe. Amazon Joe. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Just let me fucking enjoy your product. I have a funny story about that type of situation. Maybe I'll get into it next week's show. But it's very- What a tease. It's a good one, I know, but it's just not in the, not in the cards for today. Episode 158, a reminder and a big thank you to everyone that has jumped over and decided to join the gaggle.

We're getting so close. I mean, we're inching up there. I think at the time that we're reading this, we're well over what is 450, which is awesome, but keep going. Not 450, 350. Yeah, it's like, good God, no, you're jumping too far ahead. I'm like, we are well over 700 and we just have to do all the things at once. Once. Record an episode in a hot air balloon. But just a reminder, you head on over there to patreon.com slash can you don't podcast,

pick whatever subscription's right for you. Got the five, 10, $15 tier, all different little perks. But at 400 Patreon subs, Brian and I are going to get a silly goose tattoo. At 425, Brian is going to go get his eyes checked. I mean, I'm not trying to curse you or whatever that is, but it seems like the second we brought that goal in your reading is really in a fucking wall. Oh, I thought you were saying it's improved.

No, the last couple of weeks have been an absolute disaster. Well, hopefully, hopefully it'll just be an excuse to maybe I need glasses. But I doubt it. I think my vision's great. I think I just suck at reading. Yeah, I hear you. It's always good to get checked though.

Consult with your doctor every once in a while. First, denial, then get checked. Right. Then you have AIDS. At 450, you and I are going to go on a hot air balloon ride. 475, Zach gets his own camera. 500. Me, you and I are going to go on a hot air balloon ride. Four seventy five, Zach gets his own camera. Five hundred.

We're doing a exclusive, completely full, extra Patreon episode every single month for the gaggle. So you'll get more of what you love. Yeah. I see you eye on that four fifty. Yeah. So it's been keeping me up at night. So I love the idea of like, you're laying there and you're having

like a peaceful dream. I don't know, pick something you'd like to do. You're sitting there in your dream. You're there with your family. You're at T-Mobile watching the yams play. And then this fucking hot air balloon just speaks and it's like, you're trying to sleep. It flies over the stadium and it's like, be a shame if I caught on fire and wrapped your kids in death It's it's no joke. I'm driving it. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Yeah Pull the thing Joe, huh? Go higher come burn your kids No, go above I'm coming down.

I think Joe needs to get his ears checked. Nice. That's maybe we'll do that same time. Get my eyes checked. No, but I've been, uh, have a lot of hot air balloon dreams lately, like weird, just random, I'll just be walking through a field and I walk up to a hot air balloon and then go like, it's time to go like panic mode like I actually wake up and then I wake up in the morning like oh my god so I know and every every morning I've been I've almost texted you and saying can we swap out the hot air balloon because I wake up like with like with anxiety there's not a whole lot of funnier things to just be cause it's the perfect object.

The hot air balloon to just get to invade your dream. Yeah. Just just come crashing through my yeah. We're sitting there at a picnic and all of a sudden the baskets like scraping on the ground. Go over to you reach in for a sandwich and you have what and you look up and you're reaching into the wicker basket of a hot air balloon and it's tearing through the backyard You want to go for a ride?

Like no, we haven't hit 150 yet. He gets his phone out. It's like I'll be back Can you please at least drop the sandwiches fuck you Brian Drop the sandwiches. Fuck you, Brian. I'm really hungry. Kids are crying. You're like, this is why I can't do this. Mm hmm. When we hit that mark and the day of when we're going up in the air balloon, when you two are going up, that's going to be a bad day.

You just wrapped yourself in. Yeah, you did. I think you're involved in this. I'll be there, but I'm not going up. You need to go up. I'll fall off and die because I will shit myself and die. You know, we have to go on like a little adventure, right? You know that? Because there's no hot air balloon rides in the Pacific Northwest. I've been meaning to ask you about that.

Where are we going to have to go? You know, we'll figure it out because I was thinking all Arizona has to offer because I've never seen one. I mean, I have. It's very rare seeing one around here. But my way we're going to do this. We got to go down to fucking Sedona or that's where I did it. Yeah.

So I, I'd rather not risk my life. If I'm going to risk my life twice, I'd rather see a different landscape. You know what I mean? I mean, been there, done that. I, I have my arm, my left arm shaking. Been there, bounced through the desert. Hold on for dear life for a level three. I Still think it's stupid. No that this that it actually exists

I think that you're gonna have a blast just go up there and there's nothing keeping you Hmm alive then heat. Mm-hmm And balloon it's one of the dumbest things humans have ever come up with, in my view. Just throw that away. I agree. And that's why I wake up in a panic every night. And that's why it's gonna be great for the show, Brian.

Because the content is really gonna turn things around. If we die, then there's no show. Then we die together. If you live though, then you'll be fearless. Fearless. Brian just gets gateway drug. Yeah. He does our skydiving and doing all sorts. Or just traveling the just gets gateway drug. Yeah. He's like skydiving and doing all sorts of-

Or just traveling the world for hot air balloon adventures. Yeah. Oh, fuck! Going to the hot air balloon ride. Is that the AI song? Yeah, I do. I think if we're going to do it, maybe we should do like a hot air balloon festival. Oh, really?

Really risk it. No, but I just think that that makes me feel more comfortable seeing like a bunch of balloons out there if it's just Up playing the odds by ourself It's it's a little lonely It's a little I'm right there with you bud and probably 10 10 10 to 15 other strangers In a flammable wicker basket one of them them won't be me. And Zach will be there on the ground. I forget about that. I was just thinking a bit like us two in this tiny basket. I'm not trusting that. That's what I've been visualizing. We'll go on a commercial hut. We're

not going to just go seek out a two person. See, that's what I, that's what I think. That's why I've been stressed out because the vision I just been visualizing this tiny little basket where it's like you, me, and the guy. We're all like shoulder. Yeah. And we're just up in, in, you know, like it just tiny little basket. It's creaking. Yeah. You look over the edge, like, no, we're going to, it's going to be great.

So that makes me feel a little bit better. I know it'd be a little bigger funeral. I think, I think a couple, a couple drinky poos. Okay. Before will have to be had. Well, the one that I went on, we had to like get up at 430 in the morning. So get ready for that when the winds are calm. Anyway, moving on. So if you want to support us, head over to patreon.com slash can you

know podcast. Yeah, you get the bonus content, if you want to support us, head over to patreon.com slash can you don't podcast. Yeah, you get the bonus content, stuff you want to see on the show, the email address, hey guys, at can you know podcast.com. I love that you're having fucking nightmares about hot air balloons. And I think my anxiety is back. Like I'm dizzy right now and I'm not sleeping. This is when I had to get on anxiety medication. You think it's hot air balloons?

I'm off my medication and I have been for like, almost about a year. And I think the idea of going on a... It's not about a year since I've been on a hot air balloon. I don't know. As soon as I got that out of the way, your anxiety went way down. Yeah.

And now the idea of us doing it, I think it's brought it back. I think it's a real, I think it's a great idea. And I want the kids to get behind it. Brian needs to conquer the sphere. All right, you ready to get the show rolling? I guess. All right, let's fucking do it.

Zack! Hey, shut up, start the show already. All right. It's just, it's so entertaining. I mean, just thinking about dreams in general, and you're just having one, like whatever it is, and a hot air balloon just always finds its way in. It's so funny.

It has been a huge part of it. Like your whole, like your dreams going fine. And you just hear like in the distance, just like a. Yeah. You're like, what's that? You open the window. It's just there's like hundreds of them and you're like and they're all it's happening. All right. Well, we haven't done a super

gross start the show in a long time. So why the fuck not? Would you would you rather have to snort liquid shit or eat a solid log like a sausage okay so my first my first right out of the gate thought is i i actually asked this one time and the socials when you you go into a bathroom, do you breathe through your nose or your mouth? Like, do you want to smell the fucking shit that's in there? Or taste the smell. Feel like you taste it.

Uh, and I don't know what I prefer. Cause like, when you smell it, you're like, you know, it's there. But when you, if you're breathing through your mouth, like you still know it's there, but you still kind of taste it. It's all tied together back there. So my, as the spaghetti noodle trick i'll show you you ever seen someone do that yeah yeah yeah yeah love that guy my first initial thought is to go the route of snorting just because tasting something is tasting feels more intimate.

I was going to say intimate. Like is that, is that what's wrong, honey? What's wrong, honey? You haven't touched your shit sausage. I'm just not hungry. God damn it. Deborah throwing your shit down. It's just, I you fucking slaved over this.

What do you explain making dinner and then going and taking a shit to make her dinner. It's so funny. You make like this beautiful pasta dish. Eat it without her. Just you can go take a huge shit and then give her your poop. I slaved. What would you prefer?

Hmm. What would you prefer? Spaghetti. I. You want it. You want to. You would you prefer? Huh? Hmm. What would you prefer? Spaghetti? I, you want to, you want to, you want to smear me in just, uh, this is too much, but we're going to, we're going to do it. Welcome to Ken, you know, podcasts. So the consistency of diarrhea, right? Like the little chunks. Yeah. Kind of fuzzy. Little green stuff that's getting scraped off the side of your intestines and tossing there that were, you know, a little rubber free loading. Yeah.

Like they were hitching a ride. Yeah. They're, they're saying with their thumbs out and they're like, here we go. It's happening. He went to taco bow. All the corn, all the corn's like, yay. Where are you guys headed? Sheboygan?

I don't know. We'll see what the good Lord takes me. Yeah. So like in the acidity of, and then, God, this sucks. This is a terrible idea because I'm not feeling well and I might vomit. That's okay. So picture a white plate. Pristine white plate. Pristine,. That's okay. So picture a white plate, pristine, white plate, pristine, like mom's China.

She only gets out for Thanksgiving. Uh, it's in the, it's in the cabinet. It only gets out once a year. It's why you can't play ball in the house. Right. Okay. I know that thing. You know, so it's there and it has like, you know, it's, it's good.

It has a good, like nice design kind of ribbed edge. Yeah. And then the gold leaf around the far side and then in the middle, it's just a spat of diarrhea. Well, you know, you have a straw, you know, when they have like, they'll make like a steak and they put like a little drizzle, like a sauce. Yeah. Like a little drizzle of a top. Bougie. So that, but without the sushi, just the drizzle.

The fuck is this? That's diarrhea. That's a drizzle. That's diarrhea. Drizzle. Diarrhea drizzle, sir. Have a good birthday. Hi, but you're all singing to you.

You're all singing happy birthday while you're sitting there staring at it. Staring at a, at a China plate of diarrhea and they just hand you a straw and say happy birthday. Oh, straw. Yes. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one.

That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. Happy birthday while you're sitting there staring at it. Staring at a, at a China plate of diarrhea and they just hand you a straw and say, happy birthday. Oh, straw. Yes. A 20. Yeah. I mean, what did you a 20 to like, as long as we can watch, you can use this. Um, but yeah, just like that plate, the consistency of diarrhea with like the, the clear edges, but the middle has all the pieces.

You can see it and you have to snort it. And that burn, that taste. The drip. Here's the thing, my first initial, like when you say that. Fellow drug user. Yeah! Yeah, yeah.

I, like, my brain already leans one way because when you're saying you have to snort it, I, my brain already leans one way because when you're, when you're saying you have to snort it, I'm not getting that initial gag release. Then, then I would, if I was like sucking it up in my mouth through a straw, like that, that makes me want to gag. But the other way doesn't, it's not giving me that feeling like the gag feeling as much as ingesting it through the mouth would. Right. I hear you there. So again, exploring the solid log option.

Again, silverware, pristine. You've got a knife and fork. You've got a salad fork you ever use. You have a couple of forks that you. You've got a lobster fork. You're not even having lobster. Got a salad fork. The same salad. The same salad.

Could be some lobster. It could be born in their little corn for corn salad for hey you got any corn forks are we use them all last night there should be a couple corn forks in the dishwasher god damn it you know it's kind of funny if you'd enough corn that log of poop might look like a ear of corn Hmm and you see like you want to have you get those little things that you poke into the ends of the of the cob You know, you know what we used to have wiener dog head and tail Well, yeah, yeah, we didn't

We've had a yellow, little yellow. Little tiny corns. Yeah, little corns. Smaller corns with pokeons. We had corn on the cob last weekend, man. First time I've had it in a long time. I don't know if we've ever talked about this. Be a big corn on the cob fan. So in Moses Lake, the sweet corn is,'s, it's not even yellow. It's white.

And it is fucking sweet as it gets right out of corn, right off the stock, brother. I used to, uh, sometimes I'd just be out there in tractor, you know, and I'd be like, we're going by a huge, uh, pop out there and take it. I would like be right off the fucking thief. No, Mike. So we knew the farmers. So my dad, it's okay to steal from them. We didn't steal it. They let and take it. I would like we write off into fucking thief. No, Mike So we knew the farmers so my dad's okay to steal from him. We didn't steal it They let us do it so Mike cuz my dad was the water master So he provided the water for them to grow their fucking corn. Yes water master. So he The corn slaves and water master so no he would he would when especially when I moved away he would whenever he came to, especially when I moved away,

he would, whenever he came to visit, he would bring me like a safeway sack of corn, so sweet corn that he just grabbed while he was out there. Cause he knew all the farmers, so he'd let them, so I could just pop by, rip her off the stock, rip her open. And he's the fucking water master. What am I supposed to say? No. Do you want your water this week? I control the water. Dictatorship out there in Moses Lake. Hey, John, you wouldn't mind if my son had a couple ears of sweet corn, would you? I mean, it has been tough. You wouldn't mind, would you? Be ashamed if you if you get your water

God if you shave all your sprinklers are damaged tomorrow morning John All right All right, what? All right, what I thought and you're just like Yeah That's what I thought. And you're just like, go get yourself some ears son. So I used to speak of that, the, I'd be driving along and it'd be like, you know, my track is getting pretty dirty. So I just go find a circle and pull up there and they had the sprinklers that would hang down from the circle.

You know, I just drive through there and they'd be going around. I just ease through like a car wash and they just spray my tractor down. So you got it all figured out. Yeah, dude. Just chomping on my ear, a corn tractor wash. It does remind me though. Do you know how much pirates charge for an ear corn? How much?

In here? No, buck in here. Oh, buck in here. Yeah. Right. I knew that. Yeah. And here.

That was the real thing. Charges in here. Hey, you want to, you want to. Buccaneer. Yeah. Right. I knew that. Hey, you want to, you want to. Pirates charge for their corn Buccaneer. Yeah. I remember the joke now. Thanks. I knew it had something to do with an ear. Are you going to pay me up or what?

Anyway, back to cutting logs of shit. Yeah. Fuck that. I mean, that texture pushing it. So it's an acidic ripper that you just snort it and then you're done. But you have to really push through a solid log. See that I'm not even thinking about acidic. Like that's the last thing I'm not thinking about acidic. It's gonna it's gonna just hurt and

Burn and make you throw up both are gonna make you throw up But oh my god two girls one cup brother putting your napkin down at the end asking for a toothpick Mmm to pick shoes that hold this move You got one behind your ear. Dig it in there and then put it back behind your ear. It's that, the dad leaving- That's a good lock tonight, hon. The dad leaving Perkins, you know, like, ugh. Yep.

Anyway. When's happy, so happy hour still, uh, what, noon to four tomorrow here at Applebee's? Yep. Alright. See you then. Ding. Oh, just spitting shit pieces. The old, uh, early bird. Yeah. I think I'm going to snort it and get it over with. It's going to be a rip. Diarrhea is disgusting. I mean, shit in general is disgusting, but I can't imagine actually chomping or trying to bypass my teeth like a small meatball. Like chopping it up, putting it in your mouth and going, and just sliding a chunk of turd.

There's just too much in a log. I'm going to have to just rip it. I'm about to rip it. There's something about being able to snort it and just it's the quick bypass like getting it over quick that draws me to it. Also, as soon as I think your nose later, Oh, blowing shit out your, but so if you do snort the shit, it is going to, it is going to go down your throat and you're going to taste it. You're going to get it on your tongue and shit. Like, yeah, you haven't done enough drugs. It's

going to 100% get in your mouth No, I know it will yeah, that's in the bar later. Yeah, it's just blowing your nose and with Diarrhea I'm picturing Joe over here like snorting Snorting the diarrhea and then stick running his finger through the plate and then putting on his teeth and his gums doing a gummer Yeah, doing a gum with these like I just make it making sure he's licking the plate and then putting it on his teeth and his gums. Doing a gummer? Yeah, doing a gummer with it. He's like, I just making sure he's got, making sure he's licking the plate. Oh my God.

Watches someone lick a plate of diarrhea. Like you think, okay, think about that. It's like watching a dog eat throw up. You got to watch, you got to finish the, you're, you're going to snort the, um, the diarrhea, but there's going to be remnants. You gotta have, you gotta clean that. That plate's gotta look like it was when it was in The cabinet. No, is it a curio cabinet? Is that what they're called? That's beyond me

Why am I doing that? I don't know curious curiosity care Killed the cat. I think just China cabinet is what as far as my check. Oh, there you go My roots weren't would you call it curio cabinet? That's what I always my mom You said something you get on the infomercial my mom called it a curio cabinet Let's see if I you spell that. Yeah, which is just cute. Oh, so she didn't get off Wayfair Yeah, it's a brand So curio cabinet for definition a curio cabinet is a type of display case typically made of wooden glass designed to showcase protect collectibles antiques and other valuable items like plates

Wow, what a cultured fuck you are. Yeah, look at you carry our Thinking about curio cabinets where you're stealing corn. Mm-hmm Tractor from a tractor. So we always call the girl. Oh my god. I think we had this one We had that that looks like my house Is it though that we had our screen door right there and there the dining room table was is it would would have been right here Yeah, so that isn't but it's pretty close. They just locked the booze in there Yeah, all sorts of all sorts of things. I would have supposed six packs of six packs of beer in the warm

Cheerio closet whatever the warm Cheerio closet. Whatever it is. Cheerio closet? Yeah, you in the Cheerio closet. Alright, I'm snorting shit. Zach. Yeah, I'm gonna snort it. Alright. Let's move on.

Zach, fuck yeah, dude! Hey. Hey, what's up, babe? What are you thinking about? You know, nothing. Actually, you know what? I'm thinking about a lot of shit. What are you know what? I'm thinking about a lot of shit. What are you thinking about?

So I feel like you guys will be a little proud of me, but lately, because of all of the things that are going on in the world, I don't normally, I don't normally watch the news, but I felt like I was like, I just gotta see what's going on. So I've been watching a little more news lately and outside of all the things, by the time this episode comes out, who knows what the fuck's going on? Um, but I was just watching stuff and then one of the stories that came across was about P Diddy and his whole, like, you know, I guess block all this shit out.

I mentioned on the show, I don't even fucking open social media anymore. So I'm sorry if you're writing me messages from three months ago. I just checked out. I just, I guess I want to be in there. I don't want to be around anymore. I don't want to be around anymore. But one of the stories I caught on the news was the P Diddy thing. They're talking about it and they're like bringing up all the different sides and people that were on trial and they're showing like courtroom sketch pictures of P Diddy and he made some comment he was like you're making me look like a koala yeah like something i was like just again working but also just like catching the the highlights from the news and then the more i sat there and the more

they just showed different courtroom sketches My brain my brain I was like How the fuck our courtroom sketch artists even a thing big sketch? Big big sketches sketches and big paper big pepper big pepper big pepper and big sketch all in the same room together Yeah, charcoal and paper. You know the fuck come get you, baby. But I'm just looking at it and they're not good. Like, there's so many angles that I, you know, maybe pause what I was doing. And I was like, this is ridiculous. So I get it. And I started looking it up. But it's for the, all the obvious reasons that you would think that a courtroom sketch artists exists. And that would be, what's your guess? My first guess is they don't want cameras. Bingo, you nailed it.

Okay, so coverage with like video cameras or just cameras in general. But these rules go back so far to like, when it was like, everybody say cheese. Sparks would fly out. Catch the courtroom on fire. Say cheese That's where this all started cuz yeah, that's distracting like you're out there doing shit Everyone turns and he's like, oh he's like,, he's like dunking his film in a tank. He's like, yes, turn the lights.

Oh, is that a bad time? Yeah. You guys, you guys look so blurry. So that's where like all this shit comes from. And then like in this day and age, there's so many things that can take pictures without making sound. One of them is in all of our pockets. Okay. And pretty good pictures. And there's a way to like make it so it doesn't like to have no flash and to make sure that someone can swipe and take video. So I get the video part of it. Cause you don't want to take these things and then put them out of context and then have the whole world have them, especially in the fucking social media landscape we

live in now, if someone just take a little, a little clip of something that's happening in a courtroom and then say, this is how it was. Okay. I get it. But you can 100% have a device that only takes pictures and makes no sound and does not disrupt anybody. And then actually shows us what the fuck is going on in this courtroom. Okay. That's one.

The other one is this grown ass adult that is hired to sit there and draw pictures. He's got his little, his little cram box. He's got one of those little sharpener on the back. Yeah. Cherry. He loves blueberry. So everything's blue.

It's just like, he says, what the fuck? I look like a koala. It's like, well, I love the smell. I love black licorice, but like, it's just so dumb, right? So the idea that you get hired for that and we're just, we're just accepting that that's the, that's the insight we get to this fucking case about this guy, potentially sex trafficking adults and drugging them up to have sex in front of him and we get someone that's like He's just sitting back like

Like the guy on the side of Vegas like drawing the characters the couple sitting there A caricature Yeah imagine that Characters characters a couple sitting there He's got like a caricature of P. Diddy And I don't know what like how do you visualize sex trafficking early oh my god, that's so funny character card courtroom artist Huge nose Imagine like a huge teeth like okay, he's like a huge head with little black gloves on Comes out. It's like if it does not fit you must be must include it. Yeah, it's like eh like Michael straight in He's like I would never drug anybody that's the picture we get

All the news outlets having to display that as a serious. Yeah, it's a serious thing but again this like this is a talented artist who can rip out a Full scene and I don't know damn near real time. I'm guessing they're a little behind. Like, damn it, just missed it. Yeah. Can you turn? Hey. Hey. P Diddy. Diddy. He turns and goes, thank you. That's what I needed. That's what I needed. Got your ear. Just wondering what your left

ear looked like. I love how not serious P Diddy's taking it too. He's like, instead of, Oh yeah, he's being pompous. Yeah. He's just being like, Hey, I look like Koala instead of like taking his, like, Oh shit, I could go to jail for life. Yeah. And I fucked up a lot of people. He said he's like, you didn't get my beard, right? You make me look like an animal.

Man. So I have a kind of a fun story about that. Used to be a courtroom sketch artist. One day I do. I was what so when I worked at KXLY I know I'm gonna tell you. You've been holding down. This is the perfect time to tell the story. So we're at KXLY. I'm working there.

Can you even draw? Yes, that's why. So you could draw? I was been drawn. I mean, I haven't drawn in a lot of days. So as soon as I left for college, I, my drawing days were pretty much over. But as a kid and it's like through high school, like I have sketches of like Michael Jordan and all this stuff that you'd be blown away. All right. Well, let's not jump. I'll bring it to you sometime.

Yeah. Uh, will you sign here. I'll bring it to you sometime. Yeah. Uh, will you sign it? I'll hang it up. I will. No, no, maybe. Yeah, we'll make it happen. So we're, uh, we're, so we're, I'm at work and at this time I'm like running camera for, for the news. Drive and tractor running camera.

Right. And, uh, there's a story about something. I don't even remember what the story is But someone's like someone the news was like fuck we need there's no skit We need someone we need someone to go do this and then someone said like well Brian can draw whatever So one of the producers came back and they're like so we heard that you can you can sketch or you can draw And I was like or you can draw and I was like You think you can draw Worst reality show of all time

You can draw Yeah, I mean yeah, I think it puts you in courtroom situations So I Saw they're like and it's like a mad scramble. They're like, you draw them like, I guess it's like, okay, fine. We don't, you're the only, you're like our option. So at this time, you know, like in news, I'm just wearing probably like shorts and it just a regular, probably some regular Mariners jersey, like some smart ass t-shirt, whatever. I'm like 24. And they're like, all right, we're going to to get you down to the courtroom So they like they get me like a KXO wide polo and so I'm like, it's a like I said, it's a scramble They're like here comb your hair change your name all this shit. Like don't be yourself like be anything

But you you have Ryan with an eye if anyone else we want to raise So there so I I'm like then I, cause in this, at this time, I'm still like very timid. Like I, like any time I have to go do something or like people are expecting something out of me, I am really timid. And so I'm like, fuck, I get, okay, I guess. So they send me with some paper and like a pencil and send me down the fucking lunchbox. So, I'm like, but they're like, you got to get down there quick. So, I'm like driving down to the courtroom.

I can draw, I can't run. I can drive and I can draw. So, they figured I'm the guy for this. Two for two. Right. So, I get down there and have to go to the courtroom, I have to put all the stuff in the pocket and do the metal detector stuff. I go in there and I sit down and they bring the person out and they sit down and they

start, I don't remember what they're talking about, but they're talking about certain things and maybe. So I sit down and I start like, and the guy's sitting there and I've got the piece of paper and I start like, kind of like drawing a portrait of the guy's face. I'm like, I get around him and like, yeah, it's like super, kind of like drawing a portrait of the guy's face I'm like I get around him and like yeah it's like super I'm like drawing a picture of his face because I never fucking done this before so I'm like I draw the nose draw the eyes and then they're like all right so he's bleeding pleading whatever and they're like all all right. And then like, all right. Case over. The guy gets up and walks out.

I've got like a head, two eyes and a nose and like a little like a smiley thing. And they're there. I'm like, fuck. That's all I have. I have zero. I don't have the setting, the courtroom, nothing. So I go back to I go back to station like this is what I came up with. And they look at it. Here's my final. Yeah. And they're like, nothing. So I go back to, I go back to station, like, this is what I came up with and they look at it. Here's my final. Yeah. And they're like, okay, I don't even remember what they said. They put on the, they didn't use it. I'm pretty sure they didn't

use it. But from then on till after I left, um, my fellow smart ass coworkers who were in the graphics department with me, it was up in the hallway, like walking out to the studio. So you'd walk by and it's just up and said, have you seen this man? Picture, but it was so basic zero detail. I was just getting started drawing this and then the thing was over. And so that's what I think it was is because they need to get done there quick, so we would have already started. So when I got in there, I had less than five minutes. Mm-hmm, and then it was over

And so that's all I had was just this crude drawing of a guy's face. Oh, man No courtroom no jury or Noah. I think that real life experience would be one of the funniest comedy sketches of all time The sheer panic the funniest comedy sketches of all time. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah. The sheer panic. Just getting in there, doing like little exercise warmups. And you're like, all right. And like you get the chin and they're like, adjourn. You have one half of a face and an eyeball.

It was the worst possible thing because usually when you know, like, like you're talking about when you see a courtroom sketch, it's like you see the background you see like the Like a crude drawing of like shaded heads in the background. It's like a scene This was just an outline of a face with eyes nose and a mouth on a white piece of paper And that was it. They should have put it on the news. I know dude Ridiculous it kind of oh, actually, you know what it kind of looked like in our in our senior courtroom stretch artist See the leprechaun sketch. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Let's see looks like this. Yeah, I mean little more detail little more detailed Than that but that's basically what it was nothing else except for the head

That's funny, dude. And so it was up on the wall and it was, it was just a long ongoing joke for so long. Do you have a picture of it? I don't. God damn. My friend, Zach might, I can reach out to him and get another time, but Zach needs to have it. That is so funny.

It is. If, if you could, I, I mean, I have vague idea of what it looks like, but I mean, it's, that's pretty much it there Leprechaun sketch I picture like taking it a little bit further like you you rush in there But it's back in the day. You just have like quill and ink Like you have to get your whole jar out and you're like Like it's not the right It's not the right feather. You can go through a couple feathers. You dip it in.

You look up and everyone's leaving. They're all walking out. Oh, fuck. And you're like, shit, you wipe off the... Wipe off the... And then pour it back in. Anyway, go out to where your horse is tied up. Throw the saddle back over.

Throw the saddle back over and be like, I missed another one. Well, I'm fired. Well, I'm dead. One of these days I'll get one. You wouldn't get fired like, fuck, I guess I gotta shoot out at noon. You're gonna be hanging. You'll be swinging from a tree, bro. Yeah, I guess I gotta leave another, leave, leave, leave old tumbler weed.

God, I really started to warm up the sunset tumble weed. Tell Daisy I love the kids. This cowboy's got another town to draw in. Can you write off past like a, a wanted poster that waves? It's just your shitty. You're just shot it. Yeah. You're terrible. Wanted dead or alive.

It's just half of a face. You're like, this guy sucks, dude. We're tired of all time. Imagine people bringing in the guy based on that. You guys are like talent. If you're fucking kicked in the teeth, come teeth come on now Daisy let's get out here fucking right out of double we yeah here's go on them here's go in there you somebody'll know go when they see it you guys just fucking foosies you guys

don't know nothing around these parts. Come on now Alright, well that was one of the funniest unexpected stories I've ever heard in my life So you're talking about like oh fuck here we go All right, let's slide off to some dick. It's good. Fuck. Yeah, is it? Is it dumb? Is it interesting? Is it cool? Then it's dick dick Oh man, my visuals of that whole situation. You sit down and I just fucking, I know you. And I love you. And you're walking in there with your little paper pad and pencil. And you sit down and you do this number, you're like... Turn your head backwards! And you sit down and you do this number you're like

Like like sliced alone and over the top yeah sit backwards in the chair like a Slater mm-hmm yeah Yeah, you fucking get ready to go here's licking your lips, and they're like all right. We're out of here, and you're like And the panic of like not doing a good job mm-hmm and You know it's you know my anybody that knows me knows my anxiety can just run rampant and like just get so worried and like so panicky all right so here's our first dick article okay family challenges 84 year old BC woman's will after 11 million was left to a male escort. Pete Slauson Okay. Pete Slauson Talk about winning. Pete Slauson I like the sound of that.

Pete Slauson So, the closest living relatives of an 84-year-old BC widow who left her $1 million estate to a much younger professional companion and male escort have been given the go ahead to challenge the will. Janet Henry executed her final will and testament in August of 2021, three months before she died, leaving the bulk of her estate to a man named Simon, I wanted to say Gerthden, so bad. When I was first reading this, Simon Garston. Jillian and Ross Sutherland, McCrone, Henry's niece and nephew are seeking to have the will overturned, which would open the door for them to potentially inherit the money. What a shit show. Like, is this a Hulu episode? Like, is this like a show you'd watch on fucking

Hulu? Yeah. I mean, I'd watch that. Some male escort gets all the money. Uh, a lot of innuendos in there. You said bulk and I wanted to hear bulge. Jared Slauson They keep doing more. Pete Slauson And then there was the thrust of authority or something like that. Jared Slauson Yeah, it says the thrust of the plaintiff's claim is that the deceased was subjected to undue influence by Mr. Garston, a decision handed down in BC Supreme Court back in June, or back on June 12th. The presumption of undue influence is established when the nature of the relationship between the parties

demonstrates the potential for domination. Fuck, dude. Oh, yeah! You know what I mean? To rebuke the presumption, the deceased, must be shown to have prepared his or her will of his or her own full, free, and informed thought. The decision explained that Henry had no children and her husband died 17 years before she did.

Following her husband's death, the deceased apparently enjoyed retaining and paying for the services of various male escorts for the purpose of companionship and sexual services." Jared Hmm. Pete Now that you got that old bag out of the way, let's get some young dick in here. Jared Let's get some fucking… escorts for the purpose of companionship and sexual services. Now that you got that old bag out of the way, let's get some young Dick, just get some fucking girthy hog in here. Sweaty flong and I got all this estate and no one to fuck with it. Know what I mean? I mean, that's a, you know, it's a big house to fill.

Nice. Henry and Garston met online via Skype in February of 2021. And in person for the first time in April, the decision said, over the next six months, the pair had a number of overnight visits, meeting in person for the last time when Garston stayed at Henry's home for three nights in October. The sexual and companionship services Mr. Garston provided were paid for by the deceased at agreed upon prices, which were not insignificant. Okay. What a funny, like then you're in court fucking drawing this shit up, but I just

picture, I'm not sure how this is going to play out. I mean, I guess it depends on just how many steps you go through with the will process. And if it's sealed and documented, then this male escort fucking wins the game is what he did. And maybe he did love her. Chances are probably not. Sounds like, I mean, how good does your dick laying have to be to have someone sign over a million dollars state, but maybe she just didn't a couple of months.

I mean, but maybe she hadn't had some good Dick in a lot of years. So any, any, yeah, just just a hard Dick, like a dildo would have done. Yeah. But a dildo with a person attached to it's a little more fun, probably. Yeah. A little emotion in there. Maybe he had a promising art career or something. She wanted to help and support that.

Some courtroom. He's got, yeah, he's got like a little museum of courtroom art. Imagine walking into a, and a museum of just that like old. Of Brian's courtroom. Courtroom. It's just an empty room with one picture. I mean, that's what a great museum is, right? Like you walk in there, it's this long hallway. It's a long hallway. And at the end, there's the picture of my drawing.

And I'm standing, standing next to it. This is like, this is seriously would be one of the funniest comedy little series of all time. Where you draw this shit, bring it back. It made fun of. Then you leave work, you take it and your next job doesn't work out. So you go to the gym, you go to the gym, you go to the gym, you go to the gym. It's comedy little series of all time where you draw this shit bring it back It made fun of then you leave work you take it and your next job doesn't work out So you open up an art gallery? Mmm, and that's the only picture you have and then some Michael Jordan thing you drew

Yeah, dude, the Michael Jordan thing is pretty great. But still is only his head It was a portrait just standing there and it talks and someone's walking around with drinks and hors d'oeuvres. I was never good at drawing bodies. Perfect for a sketch room artist. Exactly. Just the tip. Just the tip, just the face. I mean, I killed the nose.

Tell me that doesn't look like his nose. You're fired. Imagine, okay. It's just the nose. We can come to the last thing, but the idea of like picture me driving back to the news with my picture thinking this is what I got to show the executive news producer. Like they sent me down to drive to thing and this is what I'm bringing back. Every red light you're just looking over the past and I get back and I'm like so this is what I came up with and

they're in the producers like we can't put that one can't put it down the show you just go I tried I can't rush art I can't rush art. I mean, you can't rush it. I know that if there's one thing I know about art is you can't rush it. He's like, what? You're like, what? You should have sent me down there sooner. Oh, I mean, you can't have me walking in there late.

Try to fuck, dude. Anyway, that's so funny. Um, so back to the story. I picture that all this is happening like at a will reading, you know, those situations, some guy with no personality sitting up behind a desk and then family members will be trolls. They're waiting to find out what they're going to get. And you have like this whole family and it's just a male escort in a thong. In a thong like a vest. Just like every time he wins something, he just starts putting his dick in grandma's face.

Yeah. Dude. Every time he wins something, he rips a piece of clothing off. Oh God. And it's just like, he turns, he's like, and the next thing he turns down the music like A little boombox he's like also goes to mr. Garst

The family's just so they're like just fucking busted fucking the nephew's face Just fucking his face. And the guy's like, he goes, oh, sorry about that. He like, he does a little dance like over to his boombox again. It's like, slow shoulder. And Miss Henry would also like to leave. Miss Henry would also like to leave He's fully naked rock hard Her husband's her husband's collection suit collection along with all the guns Just fucking goes over. It's just fucking the desk

Just putting his dick in a stapler. He's like, fuck you guys. Whoa. Just doing like little twirls. And the grand the grandmas over there or the ladies, she's like, everyone's kind of getting into it. Yeah. Like, all right. And now we have now we have to move on to the whole estate. He's like, oh, this is the big one. It's just staring at him. Now he's jerking off. He's like, the estate also goes to big surprise. Mario or whatever. Fernando, whatever his name is. Yeah. Some, some jiggle. Oh, name. Yeah. What's a good jiggle name?

I don't know, but it wasn't, it should have been Mr. Girth and Matisse. Yeah, it's a good gigolo name. I don't know but it wasn't it should have been mr. Gerth den matisse No, but he was what was his name again? I'm gonna go back and find it We have to know oh Simone or I think it's so Simone or Simon Simon Garston Simon says a good name Simon says put me in your will Simon says this is my fucking house now Simon says get the fuck out of my house. Yeah, Simon says this is my courtroom now get the fuck out dude How about that must must give me your pen. Simon says this to my desk. Simon says my whole property, touch my dick. Oh, Simon did.

Everybody can relate to like the idea of well, remember like, uh, what's her name? The, the and Anna Nicole Smith. I remember how that the the she married that old dude and he died and she inherited all that shit. Like there's so many stories of that kind of happened where the family that the husband or the wife, whoever is just being, uh, what do you call it? Gold digger. Yeah. But it's like all the family knows what's the you'd clearly see what's going on except the the husband or the wife that are just like living their life whatever they're like the like the guy who wanted in and coal Smith, right. But the family's like this fucking bitch is going to steal our entire inheritance and she did. Yeah. But imagine how frustrating for the family that would be knowing like this is this is one day All this will be ours And then grandma gave it to a yeah a male

Not even it's it's not even like Because even like someone if they like if he or she remarries a lot of times the family doesn't like the person they remarried Because like they're gonna get all this stuff but but especially like someone like that like a stripper or someone that's just there just because They're sticking their dick in it or something, you know, like how much that would suck You got you lost the whole estate cuz someone made your grandma's pussy wet. Yeah, and you just have to live with. Yeah, grandma never got her grandma never got fucked like that Until Simon came along It's a Simon said

Simon says and then Simon came. Yeah, I did. I mean you want to read the next story. No, okay Should we just move on then? Yeah Petty beef Let's see here. What do we got here? This thing fucking load pizza order shows the world is on the brink This is something I'm almost 100% certain Zack knows all about Have you heard of all this? I don't know about the pizza part, but I see some of the headlines there

Yeah, but the I thought you would 100% know about this whole pizza thing. Oh, I guess not pizza game. What? Oh, man All right, I thought maybe Nevermind you having a thought on it. I thought he's gonna have a little something to say about this, but it is good an hour before news of Israel An hour before news of Israeli strikes of Iran, or Iran, however you pronounce it, on reach in public, a strange pizza ordering phenomenon occurred near the Pentagon. Okay. A surge in pizza deliveries to the Pentagon has become surprisingly accurate predictor of war.

I did see this. Okay. With this week's pizza index, once again, lighting up just moments before news broke of Israelis major attack on Iran. That's so weird. I know. Like, oh, fuck, here we go. I know.

I didn't hear about this. It's crazy. I know. Internet sleuths on X reported a sudden spike in deliveries near the US defense headquarters, suggesting that Hungary military leadership were hunkering down to monitor unfolding activities. I'm just picturing them all going like, they're like getting ready to bomb or like, but they're like, do we want pineapple? Pete Slauson Yeah. Pete Slauson Dude, pineapple doesn't belong on pizza!

Pete Slauson Eater! Pete Slauson Don't make me start World War III in this fucking office! Jared Slauson Give me meat lovers. You shouldn't be eating meat lovers. God damn it, Janet. Damn it, Janet. The popular account Pentagon Pizza Report led to theory claiming to offer hot intel and painstakingly documenting the dramatic spike in traffic at local pizzerias. As of 6.59 PM Eastern time, nearly all pizza establishments nearby the Pentagon have experienced a huge, huge surge in activity, one post said,

noting this was about an hour before the Iranian state television reported explosions in Tehran. There's a lot of information to digest here. But the biggest one for me being how simple humans are. Like if you just comb away the top, comb away all the bullshit. Like you picture someone, uh, you know, that has like the, the stereotypical board in the basement with the red strings, like being pinned around to all the different pictures. He's like, I can almost see it. He's going mad. Yeah.

And then some accounts like, I don't know, they're all ordering pizza. He's like, what? It's like, Oh, it looks like they got hungry. And then, then this happens. And it's like, you just gotta look at the basic shit, fucking food and piss and something else, probably coffee. Sure. Hookers. Give me a long night. Give me a long night. Let's get some hookers, pizza and hookers. Dude, that sounds like a college party, But it was just so ridiculous to me.

You can track all that. But it did remind me of, I think we talked about this last week on the bonus, the honk about it part of the show, where we always just have a question that we all talk about, patreon.com slash Kenyano podcast. And it was something that we invented before it happened. Oh yeah. And then it ended up turning into something, but the idea of like, didn't exist. You just weren't, uh, cool enough to capitalize on it. I've always thought, and I'm glad it doesn't exist, at least not to my knowledge, but when I was a kid, I realized if parents wanted to know if kids

were partying at their house house when they went out of town You could hide a flush counter Inside the toilet. There's a high traffic. There's a lot of people over there right now, right? There's no way Your kids went from using the bathroom You know five times a day to four hundred and twenty unless you eat some bad chicken. No way To four hundred and twenty. Unless you eat some bad chicken. No way.

I've done that one. Good one explaining that one. All right. But that number you would eat, you'd catch every house party that's ever happened because instantaneously and no one's checking underneath the fucking toilet for a flush counter. It's gold. That's not a bad idea. That is a good idea.

And no one would even- The flush counter of four thousand? Yeah. Well, let's start with one, two and three. And then we'll get, we'll get up to four. It has Bluetooth. I mean, it's, it's outdated now because now you just have all whatever you imagine getting an update every time a toilet was flushed. Like you're sitting at a play.

You're in Broadway. How much it weighed. You're like a six pound load just went through the toilet. Hefty shit was flushed. And you're like, you're on your honeymoon. Back to watching Book of Mormon. Yeah. But I go, that was another idea like tied to this, like, you don't have

to do all this roundabout shit. You don't have to install cameras. You don't have to have all this Bluetooth shit. Just have a little counter on your toilet and you'll 100% know if your kids are having parties when you're gone. And you're that in that way, you're kind of like, it doesn't feel like you're probably like evading anyone's privacy. You're not putting them on camera.

You're not listening to them. You're not saying I don't trust you, but I also don't. You're just, you're just counting the flushes. Just doing a little data. It's a little water conservation, you know? I mean, that's all you have to say is like, you know, the, we're just trying to watch our water intake and outtake. Yeah.

But yeah, that's such a funny, like, and I guess this happens for a lot of different things with the Pentagon pizza report. Like if something crazy is about to happen, they all order pizza because they know they're not going home. That's what that graph is, right? Can I just this shows the different pizza factories or sorry, pizza places that were ordered from. Okay. So this is not showing a clear picture of it, but there's like Domino's and then whatever other ones that were in the area. And it just shows you a little spike in pizza orders.

The spike of war. I love people that are just following that kind of stuff too. The slice spike. Some guy, like you said, said in the basement like some conspiracy guy Something's going on Domino's is fucking I see Domino's cars everywhere. It's off the it's going off the hook tonight Mm-hmm. What's happening? Maybe World War three. Oh Man, can real quick. Can you pull up my screen Zack and just show the ads that are on my page? Damn, wow. This is these are the ads that i'm being shown

Three fucking ai that's ai beef cakes Uh with no shirts on because the the unless the they're all twins and a diamond now now a diamond ring And then enlarged prostate and large prostate. Yeah Can stop so we can would just say stop fingering your butt and large prostate There's nothing to do with age. Just stop doing this one common thing You won't believe what happens next if you stop boinking your fucking stop boinking your holes your prostate will stop swelling you're like Makes sense. It checks out. Yeah, maybe I'll stop boinking my holes. How about that? Ice move off to Petty Beef. All right, Zack. Fuck it. Let's

go. You are now entering the Petty Beef courtroom where all sides of some bullshit will be heard and evaluated. The people are real. The cases are real. The rulings are final ish. This is Petty Beef. That's the first time in a long time I've watched that whole intro. You like it? Hell yeah. That's great.

A lot of courtroom stuff today. Not a courtroom stuff. Imagine someone drawing this. Petty Beef. We should hire a courtroom sketch artist to draw our show. Maybe Zach should come in and try it. And it's just the same picture over and over cause we don't move.

Like every now and again I I go, and then you go, and it's just 800 of those. And that's the episode you get. No more video version. We just do a slideshow of courtroom sketch artists of the show. That's the museum. Yeah. Just, it's going to be great. Different angles of us. All right. What do we got here this week? This is a it's a little bit different than normal of the Petty Beef variety. This is from our sweet child Jordan. Oh hey Jordan. Hello slut puppets. Muppets. I like puppets better. Me too. Both have holes that are gaping. And hands and hands and places where they don't bling. They don't bling. And hands in places they don't bling. Know what I mean?

Know what I mean? Feel like a noodle in a tuna can. I've been listening to the show since Brian talked about shitting his pants and Joe's dad died. Never missed an episode. Quickton Phonics, am I right? Nice. Anyways, there's been a debate at work, sparked by my 13-year-old nephew. And overall, consensus seems divided, so I'd like you all to weigh in

Okay What do you call it chode? Okay, is it the little spot between your balls and butthole? Which I was thought was the taint. Mm-hmm or the gooch gooch aka the gooch or taint. Okay, or is it a short fat dick? or taint. Okay. Or is it a short fat dick? Personally, I've always, I've called my taint the chode. Objection, your honor. This guy, Jordan standing in there in a suit. All serious. You drawing? The idea of a, of a, of a case that's as ridiculous as something like this, but everyone playing it serious, like they're trying to win the case is pretty funny. The Bayliff watch that walk in evidence up and he's got a picture of a short fat

dick, the hands up to the judge and he puts his readers on and he goes, I see. That's pretty short and pretty fat. Oh, I'll allow it. Now, you know, you're supposed to bring this before so we can check it in, but considering how important this case is, I'm going to allow it. I'm going to allow it. And the jury's like, you have jury duty. You have to leave work to come to this case.

What do you, what do you, what do you occasionally, I can't talk about it. I can't. I would love to, honey, but I can't like, it must be really important. He goes, Can't talk about it. I'd love to, honey, but I can't like, it must be really important. He goes, I guess who you ask. And I guess if I want my $5 lunch, I can't tell you shit. This is way better than making my 80 K year job, getting $5 for lunch.

Put my job on the line for a free sandwich and a chode case. Chode. Oh shit. Cats out of the bag. Is that too much? Anyway, cats out of the chode case. Chode. Oh shit. Cats out of the bag. Is that too much? Anyway, cats out of the chode. Anyway, take, take your pants off. You think this is a joke?

I'm not supposed to talk about this, but what do you think? What do you think? Is this a short fat dick or, and then pull your nuts and dick up. You're like, or is this a joke? What do you call this? You start pointing to your team with a little pointer, a laser pointer. It's kind of like What do you call it? Shades where you can't say it's like a tape good

This you know the area the hot you like god damn it. You take your pants off and start pointing to it Gooch chode chode Taint yeah, that's one point. And therapy. Personally, I've always called my taint the chode ever since I was a little child. Okay. As have a few coworkers. However, many people disagree and think it's a fat dick. It's about 50-50 in my place of work. Now I know the Urban Dictionary says, and some Google searches even say both. What do you think? Anyways, the show is pretty cool or whatever.

That's fair. And I don't jerk it while listening, but I'll try anything twice. Keep doing the stuff with the things. Boy learn to read. Joe, fuck you. And Zach, sub dude. Suggest kisses, love forever. Okay.

Well, I'm going to say, I mean mean chode was definitely part of our our childhood Chodes not one of the words that really didn't stick around in my vocabulary. Yeah, but a chode was definitely It wasn't just a short fat dick, but yeah, it was like you described someone who was a chode Yeah, it was more like you call it was a name. Like you call someone. Yeah. You're a dick. Yeah. Yeah. But it means that you're a dickhead. Like, so I get the, the conception of all that. But for in between, that's never been a chode for me.

That's been a taint or a gooch, which is super funny because one of my high school baseball coaches nickname was gooch. But that's because of his last name. I think it's unfortunate turn of events, turn them into a team. Yeah. Sometimes it's funny when you just happen to have a name and then a phrase comes to, and you're like, yeah, he was like 70 something. And then all of a schedule, like, do you know your nickname means?

He's like, no, it means that I was a, it means this and just pull your dick and balls up. Hmm. Yeah. For what I don't, I recall the name or that word being thrown around a little bit, maybe in middle school and high school, but for some reason, I, for some reason, like that when I first hear that word I think of a vagina hmm like calling someone a pussy or something yeah I don't know why but that's maybe

that's not the way it was but that's what my memory is telling me what a what is like a mouth shape you have to make to do that word showed yeah well imagine that like in the bedroom. Like, if I can show I'm gonna finger your chode. Why but I want to see your George W. Bush say chode. Chode. Stop acting like a bunch of chodes. My rackies are acting like a bunch of fucking chodes.

The official definition is a penis that is wider than it is long. Oh, because those exist a lot. Yeah, I don't know. And you're going to touch the bottom of the tuna can, but it'll scrape the sides, brother. Give the sides hell. Ding! What am I looking at? What in the Minecraft dick am I looking at? Wider than it is long. Yeah, but it's definitely always been about a dick and then a person acting like a dick like you fucking chode.

The second definition is basically a jerk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So the space in between has never been it for me. So unfortunately, Jordan, the space between the space between that Space between that's gonna songs never gonna sound the same anymore Joe yeah Nowhere in the definition does it have taint? Okay, that's kind of weird Well Jordan you brought it into the courtroom and you got fucking wrecked I mean again, I think I think the consensus between at least us three is that Chode I think the consensus between Eliseos 3 is that Chode was more of calling someone a name than it was referencing a place on the body. Yeah, like a unicorn?

Like, you fucking Chode. Like, oh my gosh, show me your Chode. And he's like, you fucking chicken. And he whips out his pants and his dick is wider than long. Is that what you want to see? Is that it? Oh my god. What is that? Is this what you want? W? Is that it? Oh my god. What is this?

What you want? Why do the is that exist? It's like the fucking mushrooms in Super Mario. Yeah, like, yeah. And even they are longer than wide. Like, what the fuck am I looking at? I can't even visualize it. It's like the mountains in the back of Super Mario.

Like there's no, there's no way that just exists. All right. I'm gonna try and look it up. You look at porn and it's like the guy's dick is just fucking fat. Yeah. But it's still longer than it is wide. But it's a might. I mean, if you actually check the circumference, real life, it might be kind of close circumference. Okay, that's not not diameter. See, I'm thinking circumference versus diameter. diameter. Yeah, it's got to be circumcised. Well, then there's gonna be a ton of them because circumference and length. One is 2d one's 3d. What's it's kind of like the what's the Da Vinci's man? The? Yeah. What is it,? Zach the Da Vinian man or something like that. Yeah, we're with the arms and the legs out. Yeah kind of like that. He's

A little different that is not a fun thing that you looked up there. There's me. Yeah. Yeah, there's some penises and stuff but It's oh, but those aren't that still it's still not even close to. There's a tuna can. Yeah. Wider than long. I guess maybe it must be comparing two different dimensions of measurement. It's got to be circumference because circumference, you might get pretty close.

Yeah. Like I think I've got a short stubby Dick, but it's fat. Yeah. But like just, yeah. Okay. I hear you. So there might be more chose out there than I could have ever imagined No, that's what shows out there. Anyway, so Jordan it sounds like at least us casting our votes in you're wrong. That's okay It's okay to be wrong. Thanks for bringing it in here. I used to think like you too

I always thought taint was a chode. Hmm interchangeable. Okay sad now thought taint was a chode. Interchangeable. Okay. Sad now. Gotta edit a whole lot of scatcast. Hey, don't don't let petty beef ruin your dreams, buddy. All right, I have some some good news. Zack, let's fucking go. So you're telling me there's a chance. Hooray. We aren't doomed. Yeah, we like dogs. We do. And then dogs that are disowned by other people, and thenowned by other people and then adopted by other ones

and then does something really cool. We like those dogs even a little bit more. And the people that adopted them. So Japanese monk adopts abandoned dog deemed too noisy later saved by him by a fierce bear. I don't think that was a sentence. I know, but it didn't make sense to read by canine because I was already talking about the dog. So I think the might be translation issues with this, this particular order. I'm not going to be go. I know. So a Japanese

Buddhist monk who adopted an abandoned dog was saved by that canine during a fierce bear attack. Should I even try? Yeah. Tugen Yushihara. That was bad. Thank you. I mean, the abbot of Yukoku temple, the historical temple in Niigata in central Japan was taking his one year old Chico.

I don't know why that's funny. You're like, you're like, Tuganya Yashihara. And then his dog is like, Tamale! Because I picture like a little Chihuahua. Yeah, Chico. For a walk in the woods near the temple back on May 29th when an unexpected encounter occurred. Suddenly a 1.6 meter- What the fuck is a kilometer?! I gotta say, he doesn't look like your typical monk. He's wearing like a wifebeater tank top.

Yeah. You know. With a fucking arm sl typical monk. He's wearing like a wife beater tank top. Yeah. You know. With a fucking arm. Well, that's part of the story. Oh. Talbir appeared before them, leaving Yoshihara in shock as he had never before faced such a beast. In a panic, he stumbled and fell while attempting to escape, resulting in a dislocated right

shoulder. There you go. Okay. At 45, Yoshihara was an avid exerciser with an exceptional muscular physique. That's an interesting- Sounds like this journalist has a little bit of a crush. Yeah.

Who's ripped- Exquisite body. With a fat chode. A chode I would like to- A chode that- Get a better look at. A chode that would gape me like no monk has ever gape me before. Yet at the moment he felt nothing but helplessness aware that survival seemed unlikely. To his astonishment, Chico sprang

into action, barking fiercely at the bear, successfully scaring it away and even chasing after it. Fuck yeah, Chico! How about that, making the bear not only just like retreat, but like fucking run away. I know, we've like if you don't have you don't have the fight in you and Like something comes and out crazies you yeah, like it is it is wild Like if they if they race you to the top of the crazy if you guys escalate at the same time Then the one that's bigger is gonna win. Mm-hmm, but like say there's I don't know like you're you're us We're us and we're out and there's a, there's a Zach. But it's a scary Zach, not the Zach that we have. Pete Slauson The docile Zach?

Jared Slauson Yeah, we have one that's very mad and very angry. Pete Slauson And very, he's fucking screaming things about communism. Jared Slauson Yeah, and then he, then like, he bumps you and you're like, what the fuck dude? And he's like, you want to fucking go? And you go, yeah, you want to fucking do it. And he started like fucking punching yourself in the head. He's like, Jesus Christ. Yeah. Like I'm not signing up for this. Right. Yeah. This guy's this little, this little fella is crazy. I'm so good tactic. Yeah. So as Chico Chico darted into the woods in pursuit of the beast, Yoshiada began searching for him despite the intense pain from his shoulder during the search his wife called tearfully

To inform him that Chico came back Yay overwhelmed with emotion upon hearing the news Yoshi Hata also shed tears He recalled seeing Chico return home his expression full of pride That's a good boy. He comes back. He's like I fucking chased that beast off. He's like you saw me, right? He's like fuck yeah, yeah, I gotta throw this in there. Okay, so you've heard of eye of the tiger Yeah, you know what it is. Yeah in the scat cast universe We have beagle eye the eye of the beagle and this fucking dog is the epitome of that So it's either beagle gonna have a name now over in the scat cast world

It's just beagle eye the beagle eye your Beagle Eye, you're fucking- Beagle Eye Cherry? Could it be Chico? Beagle Eye Chico? Beagle Eye Chico. Chico and the Beagle Eye. I love that band. Chico Eye. Previously, Chico had been returned by his former owner to the kennel because he was deemed too loud, Yoshihara, then adopted him and provided him with a loving home, Yoshihara. Now refers to Chico as his savior and allowed him to sleep by his side that night? All the nights. Yoshi Hata. Mm hmm. Yoshi Hata.

Listen to hear Yoshi Hata. That dog deserves. If I have one thing to say to fucking Yoshi Hata is that fucking Chico gets to sleep in the bed. What's wrong with you? Yoshi Hata. Is that fucking Chico gets to sleep in the bed? What's wrong with you Yoshi Hata? It's not a you can't scream it you can't know you want to find something I found the internet or

You love that The internet is pretty wild depending on your browsing habits you can either experience something super cool or go to prison crazy right let's check it out together as a couple hey look what I found yes one thing stupid in this vest I'm wearing is me saying to you do you want to find something I found on the internet well the only thing stupid in that might be this thing that we found on the internet. Well the only thing stupider than that might be this thing that we found on the internet. Yoshi-hata. This looks awkward. Gertie, the inflatable friend for your dog. Dog separation anxiety relief, calms your dog, dog stress relief. Oh my god. So I'm assuming this is for when you leave the house and your dog doesn't like to be home by itself itself So if you would like to comfort your dog while you're gone you can purchase something like this for 39.99. Okay, a sextile so

We go oh my god t-rex arms. Will you hover over the box? Look at the doctor like, Look at the bird! The bird on his shoulder. Ha! Gertie? What are we doing here? They tested that name too, probably.

Fucking Gertie? This sounds like the best prank of all time. If I left the house and came home and Gertie was on my couch with those stubby ass arms, wearing my clothes. Right. Your outfit. Like the can you don't shirt with that face. Like if you're not watching, it's a, imagine like a Wish product. Right? Yeah.

And if you don't know what Wish is, cause it kind of disappeared. Wish didn't keep going, did it't people see you swish just call it teamu I mean it's basically teamu yeah so like the the knockoff of Amazon with shitty stuff that you order you forget about and then literal half year later it shows up and you're still disappointed that is what wishes it looked they printed Gertie's face on a blow up sex doll that looks like it had like some kind of deformity when it was born. And apparently it just sits on your couch and keeps your dog's company. The dogs like this ain't a fucking real person, dude. I don't know. They got videos proving the the effectiveness.

I think it keeps some dogs company and some dogs tear the shit out of it immediately. Okay, let's take let's take a look at this video here. So we have a, we have a good boy. Do they're doing something. I'm, I don't get, we don't have any shitting on the couch. Uh, yeah. Shitting or just something. What is that? What kind of dog is that?

And annoying Charles. Skipper. Cut to Gertie sitting on the couch and the dog just lying next to Gertie. You gotta be fucking kidding me. No way. Watching the game show network with that. I mean you have that. Fuck me.

Well, how they put the dog food on the couch. Yeah. Maybe train your dog a little bit better. Hmm. Yeah. You know, dirty girl. Yeah. Okay. Oh, she's a dirty girl. Dirty, dirty. I think she just likes that blanket. So my first, when I see the picture of this,

it makes me think of Goldeneye. Oh yeah, the N64 version. Yeah. They like throw the face on a 3D graphic and that's what it looks like. Yeah, that just runs up. It just runs up to you. Mm hmm. Holy holding a equally great resolution gun skin. Look, you shoot the lights and it goes out. RCP 90 dude on the train. You shoot the lights out, but the bricks around it don't change. Mm hmm.

Oh, oh, we got more footage of dirty solving the world's problems Yeah, Zach's right duties. They just put the blanket on the Gertie It's my dad used to always say But things are good when things are going wrong in your life. Just put a blanket on a Gertie Life-saver anyway, I'mothing my pooch. Yup. Fucking doubt it. But anyway, that's out there. 40 bucks.

40 bucks. If you want to waste 40 bucks, Gertie's waiting for you. With her wallet out. Alright, let's hear it from the kids. Zzz You wanna talk to me? Wow, that's cool. Yoshi yada. Yoshi yada? No, Yoshi yada. Yoshi yada. You want this one or you want me to go?

You got it, you read. It's a long one. Okay. Our first email is coming in from our big baby cock boy, BC. Nice. Hello Joe and BWAHIN and fluffy Uncle BC. Nice. Hello Joe and boy and fluffy uncle Zach. Hello. BC here. I've been a loyal listener since the beginning

and this is my first time writing in. Okay. Before anything, I'd like to just clear the air. Most think my name stands for big cock or baby cock. Ooh, those are. I love how most people think that. Yeah. Everybody I meet. What's your name BC and baby cock. Ooh, those are, I love how most people think that. Everybody I meet. What's your name?

BC and baby cock? Like that's your, you jumped to that. You're hanging out with some, some cock loving either big cock or pedophiles. Yeah. Big cock lovin's side. Chode lovin size queen or pedophile. It's actually just a nickname for my initials. Any whore. All right. I heard a few weeks back that y'all wanted to hear some shit. Well, do I have a story for you? About 10 years

back when we were around 19 to 20, my buddy and I had just moved into a new place with this girl. And his Gertie. Yeah. Would that be a red flag? A little bit in the closet, Gertie in the closet. You have the best day of your life. You're like, this girl could be the one. And you go back to her place and there's a Gertie on the couch. What does that do in here? Oh, my dog just, you know, he gets a little worried when he's like, when I leave.

Before she could even answer, I'd be right back out the door. I'd be like- I'm three way with Gertie and her though. With that face looking at you? Where do you want it Gertie? Gertie? She's a Gertie girl. Fucking where do you want me to come Gertie?

Fucking dirty Gertie. Can't even kind of hold her mouth because it'll pop. Pop it and and fucking coming in Come in a deflated Amazon product. You're gonna come in you fucking moment to come in in the Gertie The fact that any of that makes sense Fucking coming in the goody. The fact that any of that makes sense. That's why I love this podcast. You're fucking coming in the goody. What'd you do last weekend? It's just fucking coming in the goody. Coming in the goody, calming my dog down. What? What?

What do you like to come in? I bet you're just jealous you weren't coming in the goody. You fucking hate me. I think we should get one coming in the girdy I think we should go for the show just have her sitting right here in the desk Ask her for her opinion from time to time. You know a girdy cam the girdy cam Okay, we get to 475 fuck this out cam we're getting the Gertie and a Gertie cam We're fucking coming in there t-shirt coming in it. Oh my god fucking Gertie It's if you're not laughing as hard as we, you need to go look up the Gertie.

Then you'll see why that's perfect. Anyways, back to you Brian. Alright, this place needed a lot of work. Meaning they didn't have running water. Our bright idea, let's get plastered for a housewarming party. This was the first time ever having fireball. Oh boy. for a housewarming party this was the first time ever having fireball oh boy about halfway through the bottle our other buddy you fucking coming to you

everybody was coming in the bird the big the gritty buddy you fucking coming in the gritty buddy get dirty a friend back to you dirty gritty hmm he had started puking so naturally I'm giving him shit guys are just a different kind of species right is there anything I can do to help no just instead you like yeah he's so funny we're just fucking can't wait to you pass out my drug dicks on your face best friend girls are like holding their hair for each other I've already called him uber talking him through it I've already called an uber get you home and then guys like you fucking bitch you fucking pussy

You fucking puking out your nuts fucking showed Man don't puke on the fucking toilet more room for booze you picked it all up Fucking toilet more room for booze. You picked it all up. Uh, about halfway through the bar, what other buddy, a little spit in my mouth. Started puking. So naturally I'm giving him shit. Well, between that and everything else we had drank that night, I blacked out at some point in the night, I had to take a shit and was too fucked up to walk to

the gas station about a mile at the road Okay, how drug you are on the backyard? Yeah, it's not convenient. I love it. That's the reactions like oh fuck. I guess he's pretty far away I don't take a share the inconvenience You have an income you have a convenience yard, yeah All right, because I I gotta poop so bad. Okay. Back to you. I need to start marking where I get going.

Yes, we've learned that. So I thought I'd be a good houseguest and I just go shit at the edge of the woods and wipe myself with a sock. That's a firewall font. Here I am, shorts around my ankles and squatting in their yard right on the tree line My buddy that just moved into catches me and comes running yelling me to stop walk to the gas station for a bathroom Go get it sounds like you in this neighborhood Where's a perfectly fine gas station one mile away. Come on, go get, go, baby, baby cock.

Get the fuck out of here. Come on. Joe's very protective of this neighborhood. When we're shooting a video, I was doing the line, I couldn't get the line out, I was like, fuck, and he's like, no, not here. Not now, boy. Let's be respectable. Brian, come here and just talk to me about it.

Stop screaming and yelling, just fucking get through it. I just get so mad. I know you do, Brian, come here and just talk to me about it. Stop screaming and yelling just fucking get through it I just get so mad. I know you do Brian. Come here. It's a man. Come here. Come here. That's it. Here's a good boy Here's Gertie Gertie in your passenger seat Me being blocked out I start running from him Get away I think it's a monster. I poop poop for the poop waltz. I start running from pants around my ankles, stopping every half of football field or so

to squat down again. I love it. He gets it. He gets it. That's a hell of a chase. You get enough gap and you're like, oh, this will be, you shit it out. I say you baby cock. Never going to catch me.

Fast as fast can be. You'll never catch me. Fast as asking me, you'll never catch me. After trying to shit next to their grill, he finally got me, or down enough to get me to go lay on the couch in the garage. Just, you want me to poop then? Just poop next to your Blackstone?

You're like, you're never coming over again Oh, I can't I can't poop out there some people when they get drunk are just so worse fucking crazy They're the worst. Okay, so we tell me I can't poop a couple football fields out there and if they so it's Part and you're done your deck. You're like, okay, but poop here here. You're like, I fuck just please go to the garage in the thing Okay, they're they're reasoning and in like this goes out the way like you're the biggest fucking asshole they've ever met Oh, I can't poop on your blackstone. Oh Me on the junk guy. I'm a junkie. Yeah, drunk guy. It's Chinese shit in my fucking barbecue. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, and then they bring something up that you did from, you know, just trying to make a pancake. All right. Go to the garage. Fucking party pooper. No, no, I hang out with you anymore. I don't know. We don't even know who you are. We know you are anymore. No, I woke up the next morning, the next morning thinking I need some water and that something seriously smells like shit. As soon as I sit up, I feel both

wetness and crunchiness between my cheeks and decide that I can't be caught like this, so it's time to go home. I walked three miles. That's it. Back home and shit, stay shorts. be caught like this so it's time to go home. I walked three miles, that's it, back home and shit stained shorts! Go to undress and shower and realize how bad things were and absolutely caked with shit! Not wanting that to stick around the house, I put it in a little Walmart bag and go directly to the garbage can. I'll

back with it. Later that day, I get a message from my buddy asking if I'd shit myself because the garage stinks like I did. I told him, I never shit myself. I'm a grown ass man. That's crazy, dude. To this day, I still vehemently deny his shitty yet true allegations. Just own up to it, dude. Dude, quit gaslighting me. Yep. You were ass-lighting me, bro. Thank you guys for all the hard work and making me laugh. Every time I listen, it makes it hard for me to handle my cock at work sometimes from

laughing so hard. Hope you all keep this up for years to come. Love you all and always remember to wake up. There's a gas leak. Wake up, there's a hot air balloon. That's the new wake up is hotter. Wake up. Wake up. Well, yeah, take that one to the grave. Baby cock. Our second email coming in from our horn dog son, Andrew, who writes, Hey, Dennis, it's Andy, the kid who ate out his girlfriend at his high school when he was 16 and almost scarred some little kids for life.

I do remember that story. Remember that confession. Oh shit, wait, not a confession anymore Andy. Oops. He's out of himself. Your horn-dog son from South Africa, I'm 18 now. And I actually just relocated to San Diego because I just finished high school and wanted to pursue my dreams of becoming a Navy pilot God, maybe we should edit this and getting girls with my accent. Why? Oh

Cuz he's just really narrow in where he is right now what he's going for in life Where he's going what he's doing. He's like, I just moved to San Diego my address 676 Lincoln Boulevard names Murphy. Yeah. Well, I I was thinking like the Navy's like going through their checklist of questions and they're like, okay, no, I mean, everything's good. Just one final question. Did you eat out a girl by your high school when you were 16? He's like, no, it doesn't sound familiar. He's like, listen to Candy No Podcast. I guess I wanted to write it and tell you guys about the first time I tried to search up naughty things on my trusty iPhone 5 when I was 13 years old

You know when you're 13 and you're young and full of cum they even driving in the car with your mom gives you a boner Because of the vibration of the car and your balls On account of the vibration and balls. I know I'm glad that sentence came that kept going I mean just like you know when you're like young and you're just driving the car with your mom You have a boner because she's hot and you, and you fucking want to come in and you want to forget Let's get to the point though one night. I was feeling real horny. I didn't know what to do about it So I started beating my meat. Yeah, wait, I didn't know about beating my meat yet because I had not discovered it I'm guessing the cum part not the penis. But of course, I was intrigued to see

some titties and some ass. Well, of course, I can't just go out to the mall and rip off a girl's shirt to see them because apparently that's not very nice. Can't do that anymore. What's next? What happened to this country? Luckily, I had been told that girls love posting naked pictures of themselves all over the internet instead so I tried giving that a shot. I turned on my phone, opened safari, and typed in NAKED 13 YEAR OLD GIRLS. And that was my last day of freedom. And the email just ends. Let's take a pause and remember I was 13 and stupid as fuck and didn't know shit about the world. Oh yeah and let me add I wasn't even in incognito mode I

Waited for the tab to load load and all I got was pictures of 13 year old girls modeling different kids clothing brands It's like gap kids and they're like that's not my color. Of course. I'm bummed sitting there with my boner Thing thinking I was lied to by my friends little Little did I know, all I needed was to remove the words 13 year old and I've gotten everything I've ever wanted. Just unlock the holy grail. Oh, but of course I thought that I wanted to see naked girls that were my age, but little did I know it was illegal as fuck, which I only realized like a year later. I'm just thinking about if the government had access to my search history back then, which they probably did, they would have pulled up to my house and

accused my parents of being in a pedophilia because their dumbass son searched up nude 13 year old girls on his phone and was only allowed to spend 30 minutes a day on. That memory will always stick with me and I remember how young, dumb, and full-of-cum I was. Anyways, love you guys' podcast. I've been listening for four years since back in the is we dumb days. I just bought my own Patreon subscription. Yay. Cause I have my own job now. I'm somewhat dependent or dependent, independent so I can choose what I want to do with my body. I could spoil my dinner. I could buy Patreon. So give me your phone. No, I will look up naked pictures all what? I'm a grown independent man. Okay, then you can go to jail. Well, I haven't suffered independent.

Thanks for keeping me entertained and keeping me company in the horrible California traffic. Don't miss it. American is a different world, man. American is a different world man That's fair lots of love from your horn dog son Andy. It is a different world We're super nice see if that especially in California Yeah, well fucking welcome to the States Andy I just love the idea of the government showing up and arresting his dad and him trying to say you know like up and arresting his dad and him trying to say, you know, like, Oh, it was my, it was my son. And like, just trying that. And then the wife feeling like, Harold, what did you do? You know, like try in the whole time. And he's got a boner. Yeah. He's just sitting there with a boner.

He's watching his dad get arrested. He's like kind of grabbing his dick. He's like, this is a hot cop. Why is this working? Why is this doing it for me? But that's better move to San Diego. That it's, I mean, it's, it's a, it's a real thing. The way that kids use the internet, they don't realize the repercussions of the internet in there and what they're doing. Yeah. It's kind of scary world. It's scary. All right.

Well, that's it. If you have something you want to see on the show, email that into HeyGuys at Canyon on podcast.com. Of course, the honkathon is on. Do what Andy has done and so many others. Jump over, support us, help us hit our goals so that Brian and I do super dumb shit. Don't do it.

Rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcast. Thanks for the five star reviews lately and thanks to Uncle Zach for producing today's show. Happy to do it. And check out what he does at scatcast.com. That is scat with a K. And a shout out to the babysitters that moderate the Candy Don't Playground on Facebook.

I'm gonna wrap this shit up. You guys ready? I'm ready, Zach is. Zach! What are you doing? Good God. Wrap it up already, huh? This is so stupid.

Anyway, I didn't know this. Neil Armstrong backwards is Norts, Mr. Alien. Maybe on other, some other planet in some other galaxy, Norts is a word. Nor good or it's good. Nor is Mr. Norts Mr. Alien.

I can or to you too. Good Norts's mr. Lawrence. Good north mr. Alien. I can or see you too Good north to you Hers got a big north today, it's kind of like smurf shut up chode Sorry, mr. Alien North mr. Alien zoinks. Oh my god. Oh, it just feels like one of the things I would I would notice In my life, this is kind of how my brain works. Yeah. I guess never knew it.

Norrts, Mr. Ileum. Someone, it's just, again, someone just fucking high and they're like, Neil Armstrong, strong arm, strength, Norrts, Mr. Ileum. Well, all right, well that's it. Let's get after the bonus content ready to roll and you go take a poop I am okay Thanks for watching!