Can You Don't? - Can You Don't? | Stick Butt. Glass Shard. Centaur. Fun House.

Episode Date: July 23, 2025

Fashion is a funny thing. And chimps are taking it to a whole new level! Let's talk about that, adding lead-based paint to school lunches for some reason and getting hundreds of kids sick, an AI band that is doing better than probably 99.9% of real people bands out there, Joe almost getting blasted by a rogue shard of glass at the dump, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://www.patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast ***New Episodes every Wednesday at 12pm PSTWatch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/Xa6PNK07SM0Send in segment content: [e-mail]: http://canyoudontpodcast.comMerch Inquires: [e-mail]: http://facebook.com/canyoudontpodcastIG: http://instagram.com/canyoudontpodcastYouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wyt5rtOfficial Website: http://canyoudontpodcast.comCustom Music Beds by Zach CohenFan Mail:Can You Don't?PO Box 1062Coeur d'Alene, ID 83816Hugs and Tugs.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Stickbot, Glass Shard, Sentire, Funhouse I mean is are we is this really 162? I don't know. I feel like I lost count a little bit. Zach can you confirm over there in the production side? 162. 162. I don't know why but I feel like you're just like dude. If you're not watching the video version right now. It's a little tight. No I have so much. Wait what were you talking about? Oh I think my bump in my head against the wall. Oh yes that is what I'm talking about, but it's so close. I'm gonna have anxiety the whole episode of you unhooking the telephone It's I mean it's right there how much room I got zero Yeah, so the wall but one little flick baby and that phones coming off the hook don't get me too excited Who knows when I get on the other side?

Don't get excited brother hawkathon is going on as the time that we are recording this we are just under 25 away from getting a fucking tattoo Are you nervous? So we talked about that we talked about the the hot air balloon now being nervous Are you nervous to get a tattoo? No, you don't have one. Not really. Yeah, I have no tattoo But I I feel honored that if the first one is I'm being nervous. Are you nervous to get a tattoo? No, you don't have one. Not really. Yeah. I have no tattoo, but I, I, uh, I feel honored that if the first one is going to be something based around this podcast and it was all put together by the listeners of this show, like I'm,

I'm in, I'm okay with it. I've been through a lot of ups and downs with tattoos. I went through the whole process, had a whole sleeve drawn out, got cold feet, never did it. Well, do you have it drawn up still? No, he the guy took it Come on, let me take this somewhere. Oh, yeah, true. Yeah He's like imagine taking someone else's art somewhere than having them have to do it. They kickers are having a sale whoo So no, I never got it, but I've something I've been thinking about for a long time But anyway that honkathon that's what we get at 400 and then multiple tiers as we progress through and get more patreon subscribers Please jump over and help us do dumb shit

patreon.com Slash can you don't? podcast We also have some pretty big news doing new yeah, so over the what fuck it's been How many years been doing this shit? Three years, three years. I we've had a lot of people listening and saying that they wish there was a way for us to give more. They also asked like, like, what was our Venmo? And we've always just been like, no, like, just head on over here and do this and support us here. And then now

Like just head on over here and do this and support us here and then now Firing up the honkathon and as that train just chugs and continues to gather the gaggle. I We've picked up geese get more emails of people just wanting to Give what they can to help support the show and make sure that we can do this for literally forever. I mean, who knows the technology is going to be here and let's give it 50 years. You might be able to do this forever. From our grades. AIS, yeah. Yeah.

Just ha ha ha ha, Joe. But we are launching a new tier inside of Patreon as of right now. Uh, and the name was just too good and we're calling it the Golden Goose. Perfect. Okay. It's a limited slot. It's a limited slot. It's a hundred bucks a month. Okay? So if you're in a position and you want to do it, we do have some perks to come along with it, but there's only ten people at a time that can be part of the Golden Goose

tier. The Golden Geese. Golden Geese. The Golden Gagglegle the golden goose gang yeah the GGG the German goo girls nothing triple G's I that's how I know I've been to darker depths of the internet than you have because I have a different understanding of GGG anyway head over there I got take a ten slots you can sign up right now and on top of all the other perks that you would always get at whatever other tier that we have there on patreon, you're going to have your name mentioned in an episode, as long as you are part of the Golden Geese. Every episode, as long as you're in it. As long as you're in there. You don't do it one time and your name's in forever.

Right. But it's whatever 10 are in there, you're going to have your name mentioned on an episode and then you're also going to get a personalized thank you from myself and Brian. A little vid. We'll send you a vid. It's yours to keep. Have it forever. Do what you will with it. Do what you will with it. Jerk off to it.

Yep. Flick your bean to it. Put an AI and make us say stuff and cancel the show. It's up to you. You really can do whatever you want with it. That's going to be tempting to some people. But that is live right now. So if you're in a position to help out the show in a financial way, the Golden Goose Tier is live right now at patreon.com slash can you don't podcast. Send in your content suggestions to heyguysatcanyoudontpodcast.com. Of course, we have the spin the wheel merch

giveaway. God damn, there's so much shit happening right now. Between now and August 12th, buy a piece of merch at candompodcast.com. And then on my birthday, we will spin the wheel. It'll land on one of these sections here. I'm spinning the wheel right now. It has t-shirts, sweatshirt, miscellaneous. And if you buy one of those items, your name will be thrown into the randomizer.

And if your name is picked, you win 150 bucks. So again, buy something right over there. 150 bucks, dude. Right over there. 150 bucks dude! Right over there at candydontpodcast.com we got a flong dong dick hog on the show today. Flong dong dick hog. Big ol' fucking juicy bitch. That's what my dad used to call his penis. Yup.

He goes hey son watcha lookin' at my flong dong dick hog. Hey why don't you go outside and play if dad's gonna give your mom the flong dong ding along whenever the hell. Sing along. Whatever the hell. Sing along. The long dong sing along. Is that a blow job? Flung dong sing along.

Yeah. Sucking. You got a little ball. It's a testicle. It's a testicles bouncing above the words. Long dong sing along. All right. Good stuff. All right.

Let's get the show rolling. Fuck yeah, dude. Okay. Fucking Zack. Hey, good stuff. All right, let's get the show rolling. Fuck yeah, dude. Okay. Fucking Zack! Hey, shut up, start the show already. All right, so are you ready for this one? Am I? I went into the interwebs and pulled this baby out of here. Okay?

Okay. You ready to hear it? Yeah. And the mental pictures that this thing fucking gives me, I did not touch that. Dude, it keeps happening. No, like they're one of these little buttons on my soundboard here keeps firing off and nothing is touching it. But I mean, it could have been worse. The song kicks out. But the mental images that this one gives me are are very funny, but would you rather be a reverse centaur?

Okay, or a reverse mermaid merman. Mm-hmm Okay, so just so we're clear Centaur is a horse body with a man top with a man top right and a mermaid is a Fish bottom man. I'm in top. Right, and a mermaid is a fish bottom and a human top. So reverse both of those. So you got a fish top and two legs. Are you gonna say something, Zach?

A fish with a dick. Yeah, fish dicks. Fish with a flong. Yeah, dude. I don't even know how to picture a reverse centaur. Like, first of all, you're gonna have the smallest dick out of all your friends. Yeah.

Compared to other horses, you get it. For sure. You get it. But you got a horse top, and like the bottom part of human- Human legs? Is not very horsey. So there- It's gonna be deformed.

There's a couple ways I see it. Like we don't have the rump of a horse. Right. Right? Yeah So it's like this huge majestic Muscle Eve horse top. Yeah, and then just like this like dad bod noodle little top heavy I picture Hank Hill. He's got a little bit of a gut and the backside just goes straight down. Mm-hmm Not a lot of curvature going on.

Yeah, nothing. And just some little human legs on top of this, like a Clydesdale. And just my legs, just like, kind of touch the ground. It has to walk like this. So are you visualizing two legs and a horse torso head, two head, or are you visualizing two legs and a horse torso, head, two head, or are you visualizing still like the body, but then like four human legs? I'm picturing, well, I'm picturing two human horse legs and then two human horse legs, sorry about that sentence. Yeah. Two horse legs and then two human legs.

I picture it like looking like all- Oh, so two, so still four legs, two horse legs and two human legs. I picture it like, Oh, so two and so still four legs, two horse legs. Centaurs aren't walking around straight up. They're like a horse. Well, no, but it's a reverse Centaur to me is a human bottom. So two legs and then a horse, horse. So, with a human head, okay, so like oh you remember the fucking show with will aren't will aren't it Bo Bojack horseman, right? Okay, right isn't that I understand I I understand how you would Well, I can't wasn't Bojack like that. Yeah, you're right, but I can't apologize for the way that I thought no

I think your way is better. Honestly, like because isn't a centaur Centaur just happens to be a horse bottom. So I have the four legs and the neck is the torso the torso It's a human torso has six. So it has basically horse legs and two arms on top. Yeah You were visualizing it completely wrong It's a disaster is what I was picturing. Okay, the two front horse legs and then two back you so so now we just have Look, okay. So we're stopped Bojack horseman is Basically what I visualize you were talking about the human Bottom half in a horse head if you if you type in

Reverse sent on let's see what happens I mean I can't be alone and where my brain went with this all the internet will provide I really do hope so look at this one yeah okay so that's a normal yeah okay that's more like you guys yeah that's like Bojack go to the related photos. Yeah go down middle one Yeah, this one Oh golly that oh man, this is great Okay, so this yeah. Oh, so there's the fish. There's your basically your reverse

Mermaid mermaid right there Set just sexy cross. Oh god. Look at the look at the one the hairy human body with the horse top Yeah, that's more maybe that's more centaur. Oh my god, that sucks Okay, well now my brains going a little wild I Mean which way could I come? Look at this real quick last one. That's my favorite. Okay. So that's more in the demographic that I was looking for. This is, so this picture, if you can't see is a, it's basically human bear crawling on,

on all fours. And then where the neck is the half of a horse with two front legs. Right. So that's what I pictured. Okay. That was my picturing of it. Oh, okay. So I'm not, I'm not crazy. The internet's got me. Uh, but yeah, he's not, you're not just standing on two legs. Like you're the whole human, your arms and your legs have to be a part of it. And it just, sorry, go ahead. I need to see it now. You should not be. So this is, uh, it's got the four, it's got the two bottom legs as the back legs. And then it's got the two horse legs up front.

And then two dangling arms hanging off the bottom doing nothing. Yeah. It's like the back person on a tandem bicycle. They're not pedaling. And you're mad at it. And every time you look back, they pretend they're pedaling. But then as soon as you go forward again, they just take their legs off. And you're like, you son of a bitch. It's the fucking guy.

It's when you go to that, when you're downtown and it's in a city and everyone's on that peddling trolley, you know, you're all drinking. Yep. There's, you know, there's like two guys that are actually peddling. Who fucking does that? I don't know. I've never done it. I would never do it. I'd get a tummy ache. Instead of drinking beer, just eating tums and peddling your ass off.

Joe likes, Joe's a guy that could go out and do like play fucking volleyball. It's beach volleyball and drink beer. Hmm. Yeah. That's not me. Like I, I can't mix the two. I could have, I could probably 30, 40 beers and kick your ass at volleyball. Yeah. Probably.

Cause that's the kind of guy I am. 40 beers and kick your ass at volleyball. Yeah, probably. That's the kind of guy I am. But can we all agree, I mean, it seems pretty clear, right? Horses, they have a look, right? They're majestic and they're beautiful. And they have a head of hair. Yeah, they're muscular. You can see the muscle definition. So then you have the reverse mermaid. Who wants to be that? Pete Slauson You can swim around, that's like flying. Pete Slauson That's like a Spongebob character. Pete Huston Can you swim though? Because you wouldn't have a, you wouldn't have a fucking, so, one of the things-

Pete Slauson You wouldn't have a tail, you'd have some kickers. Pete Huston Yeah, so one of the things that makes a whale or a fish, they have the fucking, they have a dorsal to keep them, you know, upright. Pete Slauson Keep them in line. Pete Huston Yeah, you gotta keep them in line. But the tail, what the, the fluke, it's they have a dorsal to keep them, you know upright keep them keep in line. Yeah, you gotta keep them in line But the tail what I know it's called a fluke The fluke is what keeps is what actually pedals it or gets it going. So if you said feet you'd have to wear flippers

Now what are you? Fucking cop out man made with flippers But no one's gonna talk to you like your friends, like you have a whole fucking fish head. You just, your gills are just working. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Hmm. What was that Joe?

But a horse, I feel like it has something to say. Me. I don't think so. Yeah. Nice. You just like, Hey, they turn like, aha! Good one! Like, no!

I'm actually trying to get your attention. I'm trying to have a conversation with you. Hey you! No, for the last time I don't have any fucking hey! Hey you, hey me! Fuck you! But I'd rather, just from an outside perspective, I'd rather hang out with someone out of, like, a horse head, opposed to a fish head. Jared Slauson Well, but-

Pete Slauson And a fish out of water head? Jared Slauson BoJack's ruined it for me. Because now I can picture just like a fucking horse going to work, living a normal life, like, wearing clothes. So, he kind of ruined it for me. But if we make it, it like the other way where it's not just the two legs in the top, like we're more about what you're thinking, that's a fucking disaster mutation right there. Like that's just a fucking mess. It's a lot.

It's a lot to get around every all clothes you wear, but you have a little leeway. Like no one's not going to, no one's going to care if you don't have pants on right. With your tiny human dick with a horse head trotting around in a bear crawl. But you have a little leeway. Like, no one's gonna care if you don't have pants on, right? With your tiny human dick with a horse head trotting around in a bear crawl? Yeah, but your tiny little pecker bouncing around? Yeah, and your butthole up in the air. Like picture you getting naked and going out into your street and just walking on all fours naked down the street.

With a fake horse head on. Yeah, that's basically what we're talking about. Hi my friend yeah yeah you guys have the key to the boat the boathouse can't find mine just go ahead and stick it in my butthole i'll bring it back yeah can you carry anything like just put it in my saddle my saddle put it in my little satchel i'll be right back people like horses more than fish yeah to have a really great personality to be liked as a fish person. Well, I think, I mean, I got the cowboy hat on and horses, like a horse is, it's a companion. A fish is something you go out and try to catch. You either let it go, like you either get it and tell it to get away from you or you kill it and eat it. But I mean, there's some pretty

fish in the tank. Jared Slauson It depends on the fish too. So, like, let's say you're going to go like bass fishing and you take, you're trolling out in there in the lake, you're by the edge, you're catching bass. Pete Slauson Trolling lake. Jared Slauson That's right, brother. Trolling lake, catching fish, brother. Avoidant fountain. Pete Slauson Avoiding fountain, trolling lake.

Jared Slauson So, you're catching those and you're tossing in the cooler, whatever, you're going to go home and you're going to cook those up maybe. But if you're like fly fishing and you're going down the river, you're trying to catch like fucking trout or something, a lot of those guys get a picture of it. You keep down the water, keep it breathing a little bit and get a picture. All you're doing is making a late, like Mitch Hadbury used to say, just making a late for something. Yeah. Just showing up to dinner late. That's all you're doing.

He's like, dude, I'm supposed to be here earlier to come on these eggs. You're not going to believe what happened to me. First I had a hook in my mouth, then I was out of the water. I thought I was going to, I had a full belly, then all of a sudden a guy in a cowboy hat was taking a picture with me. I can still come on it though. Yeah. But I mean, it's like, like no your brother already came on it. Yeah dude Picture this for a second

Let's say like when you let's say the reverse This has nothing to do with the would you rather but like if you're a human and you go underwater You're good for a little bit, but it starts you start getting like like holy shit I gotta get to the top. You're like you get up the top. You top you're like oh that sucked but yeah we just like we pick up a fish and just hold it like we're taking pictures with it and the fish is so calm and just like you know like this but think about what's going on that brain fuck fuck can't breathe fuck I gotta get down gotta get that put me down get the picture everyone smile and get the fucking picture put me down get the picture

Like that has to be what's going on I guess that's what we would be doing not one more fuck Can you really see how big it is using the point five that fuck your point five Put up your dick and get a measurement and get it out! I'm bigger than six inches, take me home! That's why, you know, that's why fishermen always have it up close, makes it look bigger. Same thing with dick pics. Yeah, just like you always, down and up you get that big old cock-a-locka. Boom cock-a-locka. For this one, I'm picking reverse centaur.

Just get my dick out, horses have hair. People respect a horse more than a fish. They do. So I was gonna go with that. Plus, this is something we haven't thought about, and this ties into what I was just saying. If you're a merman, the reverse merman, you have to be in the water. Because you have gills.

Unless you have a water helmet or something. That's ridiculous, dude. You're walking around with human legs and a fish body in a... Just a fish bowl on half of your body. In this economy? You'd have to... Now, okay. During fire season?

Let me type in... Reverse merman. Reverse merman, because... Hey, sir, you're not supposed to fill your water helmet on Thursdays So here's the reverse merman. Here's a couple different pictures. No, I see it So like let's see. I mean, yeah family guy did it, of course But now if you picture this you have to you'd have to have a fucking bowl of water over your head Yeah, I mean they all pick like basic fish because they don't pick like the crazy one There's a lot of a lot of options out there

Dude the angler fish with the thing hanging over his head with the little light, you know, or like how about a fucking? We kind of think of the Goblin shark. Yeah, you want to see what a Goblin shark looks like ugly Yeah, so picture that is your we brought that in the old show here once Yes, that's your upper half right there Walking into a restaurant with human legs in that fucking head, you know, it's made just happening for him. I Haven't had three benasian But again, you got have a fucking water head. Can't do it. Nope.

Or a mister. Not like a, like a yeehaw. Like a mister. Like a water mister. Yeah. Yep. Or something. I'm going horse.

Yeah, horse. Zach, horse. All right, let's move on. Zach, let's go, baby! Hey. Hey, what's up, babe? What are you thinking about? Uh, you know, nothing.

Actually, you know what? I'm thinking about a lot of shit. What are you thinking about? Uh, hey, fellas. Howdy. So, as you guys know, things with house things, it's just a constant never-ending project, getting moved into the new house. I mean, it's been what months,

few months now, two months, I don't know, but you're never just like quite done. But this particular situation that prompted a dump run wasn't entirely my fault. One of my best friends who doesn't listen to the show so I can talk shit about them. Kind of friend is that a good friend. Like just he's had enough. He's like, you can, you'll take it. You can take it from here. I got it. Like he's growing up with me. He's he doesn't need anymore.

I got all the joke and all set. No, thank you. Well, anyway, we had him over for the 4th of July. Uh, and one of his daughters, like, just, I don't know. Kids are so ridiculous. We just got done eating dinner. Oh no, we were playing a game Ransom notes gives her play that game. It's a fun game. You know the magnet tiles that on refrigerators Yeah, so it's the same thing but it's turned into a game

So it has a topic and then you have your words you have to make a thing and there's a judge kind of like apples Apples kind of thing. I thought you were gonna say we play a game called ransom And then it's like you actually went on kids He's in the closet right now. It's a super fun game. Oh wait, I gotta feed my guy that in the closet That's why we have the golden goose tear like if he raised enough money. I'll let Josiah go So his daughter was over and we finished the game and for no reason at all She just stood up from the table and then ran towards the deck at all. She just stood up from the table and then ran towards the deck and then clearly didn't see the screen. And Super Mario jumped thinking that she was going from the inside to the outside and just pushed through the screen, screen door and ripped it off and

like hung on the on like the little TV stand we have. It's like almost regained the TV out the sound that that had to make. I was just like, flink-a-clank-clank. I was like, no fucking way. So anyway, I tell that story, took that screen door, threw it off, and then for the last couple weeks, we've been meaning to make a dump run, because that's not the only thing, but there's just shit that we've taken out of the house

that we have to get rid of. So anyway, I tell all that to say that this morning, before you guys showed up, I made a dump run. Okay. And loaded it in there. Twitter die. That's it. Hey-o. Yay! you guys showed up, I made a dump run. Loaded in there today. I just shit old blinds, screen door, boxes, styrofoam, fucking metal things. I don't know where they came from, but they all had to go. And we didn't want to feel like taking up, uh, like a two months trying to put

them in the different, like normal trash and recycling containers and figure it out. We're like, I'll just go. So anyway, I go to the dump, I do the whole process, get in there and I back up and the second I get out, like I'm, it's very loud. Which is not unusual for a landfill because everyone's just like throwing shit out. Screech! There's huge things, beeping, there's a,'s an incinerary? What are they called? You mean a claw grabbing all this? Just... Ippie!

Incinerator is what you're trying to do. What did I say? Incinerary? Yeah. Incendiary? Is that a word? Just couldn't think of at the time. And the guy tells me, he goes, number one, you know, number one.

That's me, brother, number one. So I back in there and I park and it's just so loud like clearly glass being thrown and I'm like, oh man I got school kind of like you on a Sunday morning. Yeah when you're dumping all your your bottles into the trash All the wine bottles. Oh, yeah From what from Sunday morning? Yeah, so this is like late Sunday morning and I'm done. I get it even church Yeah after church after all you get everyone else drinks the Jesus blood, you got to get rid of the wine bottles. Pete Slauson Yep.

Pete Slauson Girl, the evidence, I mean, come around here. Jared Liesveld And it's super loud, and I'm not really paying attention because I'm throwing away my own shit and ripping all the stuff out. And then I throw one piece and then I didn't like feel, but definitely something happened like just outside my right calf, where I felt something go flying by. And after I kind of felt that, then I looked up because I heard a noise of glass going and like shooting across the next stall where I'm at. And I turn around and I look over and it's just another guy looking at me. See that? No. So I'm like, I'm like, shit dude. Like, so I know that that was glass

and it like missed my calf that I don't know about how much, but I knew something happened. You could feel the wind. So it couldn't have been that far. And then I heard it and I turned around and I'm just staring at him. And he's just going like staring back at me, like just total man stare. Already looking at you. Like he like, I mean, just your like typical kind of construction worker dude. Like we kind of look the same. And we both have the same expression. I'm just like, and he just stares at me and he goes, and grabs another window out of the back of the truck and goes, and throws it

and moves on with what he's doing. And then I started analyzing what he's doing and like, they have an entire trailer full of fucking windows. And instead of walking like the two feet to like, just go to the pile and like put it in so it doesn't explode. He was like, I'm not doing that. Like, this is the, this is good. He knew this is the best part of my day. And we just avoided a disaster together.

Like we don't know each other. I will never see that man again. And I just dodged having like a four inch shard of glass goes straight into my cat. Your artery just ripping the shreds. I have no idea what would, how bad it would have been, but it was humming like fast, fast enough to feel it. All we did was stare. Just coming fast and furious.

And then we both just kind of like looked and kind of acknowledged that I was okay. And he was like, you're cool. We started throwing more windows. And for a bit, I was like, I was like, God damn, dude, I was like, it's so it's so reckless and then like keep on hearing it and like as I'm unloading my stuff I'm timing it out because my man instincts are also like this is probably pretty cool. Mm-hmm Like he has a really cool job right now so every time I feel like he's gonna throw it like I would like stop and look and he throw it like And he threw it like, yeah, dude, that's sick. You're getting, getting to destroy stuff.

But then also having this like internal battle of like, that's not safe. Like the dad, the dad guy, this guy was not dad stuff. Right. He was like early twenties. Uh, little fucking stick figure build, like basically basically looks like Ezra throwing fucking window panes. And so I had to like, I had this inflect this internal battle. I was like, come on, man, that's not safe. Like someone could run over that glass. And I'm also thinking like, how come you didn't fight me over? I want to throw a fucking window. Like two different sides. Do this all by yourself. So as I had these emotions and I got rid of all my stuff and I close it down, he throws

another one and I hear like another piece like clang off in the distance, but it wasn't towards me. I seriously did this. I got in the car and I shut it and I kind of had like a, like, come on, man, just walk over there and put it down. Like it doesn't have to be this whole thing. And while I'm having these thoughts, I'm also watching from the safety of my car as he throws three more windows and I'm like fuck it You're like I'm not keeping anybody here. I can sit here for a minute

I was like fucking throw him higher now that I'm safe. Yeah, like what is that? You're out of harm's way So now I'm like fucking you have at a buddy. Did you have a little bit of like kids these days? Is that no a little bit of that just more of like the, I don't know. Like if I would have, not back then, because I'm just thinking about me now, like I would definitely throw a window, but as soon as I saw it, a piece shoot off towards somebody, I'd be like, ah, shit, nevermind. Stop me. I'll stop. Well, it's too close of a call. God damn it. And I guess I start stop. Well, it's too close of a call. I'm like, God damn it.

And I guess I start walking the windows out and like kind of dropping them from a safer distance besides throwing them out of the back of a fucking trailer. Especially when obviously it was a near miss because you looked over there. And he was, and he was looking at me. Yeah. So he, it bounced in such a way that he saw the glass go and shoot off and he turned to watch it and watched it miss me and then we just each other like it was almost like a mm-hmm he's like mm-hmm and he goes right back to throw it like this

well that'll never happen again yeah yeah it's happening again anyway it was just like that internal thing of like being a little upset but also like that's pretty fucking cool like if someone kind of was like, uh, like using a flamethrower And you're like that's not safe then but you also are like that's fucking I but If you ask me to use it, i'm gonna use it. Mm-hmm that type of thing I mean I get that like you see you down somewhere. You see some kids skateboarding like out in front of some business My first instinct is guys. That's a terrible, it's so loud. It's a fucking business and people are trying to run a business

and you shouldn't be doing that. They're going to have to paint the rail and everything. You're going to mess it all up. And then it's like, ah, you're just kids having fun. Like you're also like, like watching them do it. You're like sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, move, I can tell you didn't skate. Yeah. I'd have, I've had, I've run into didn't skateboard.

Yeah. I've had, I've run into that too though. Like even being a skateboarder myself, not, I mean, not anymore. I would die, but that was a huge part of my, my childhood. Like I've had that too, where someone's ripping around on a skateboard. I'm like, God damn dude. Like down a sidewalk, just like,, you're like fucking so annoying. And then also being like, well, at least do something.

Yeah. Can't just go straight. That's the best you did. Like, come on, if you're going to be that annoying, you better be cooler than that. Just do something neat. Yeah. Cause it conflicts some conflicting feelings. I, uh, I love how guys also at the same time, what you're talking about was like, we can

have, you could have an entire conversation without saying a word. So like that whole close call thing, like not a word was spoken, but everything was understood. I mean, we, well, we didn't, we didn't get anywhere. No, but we just, it was more, all that was said was, are you going to die? No, I'm not going to die. And he's like, I'm gonna go back to what I'm doing. You're like was are you gonna die? No, I'm not gonna die He's like i'm gonna go back to what i'm doing. You're like i'm gonna go back to what i'm doing Yeah, but you didn't say that. Nope

It's all in the it's like all i'm just in the the head nod and the eyes like his stare Like he was just standing there with his little gloves on and just whip around he's already looking at me and then Just grabs another window and fucking throws it. It was like a cartoon. Like you dick. Like he wanted it to happen again. Like he was trying to kill me. Like the worst hitman ever spoke up. Yeah. He goes, I know exactly what'll take this guy down. It'll look like an accident. It'll look like an accident, but it's going to have to be a really perfect accident. But I got so many windows. Yeah. It's a perfect crime. Perfect crime.

I have a question for you. What? Going back to the head nod, do you nod differently between like races? So like, if you see, like you see like an old, like not, it's like you see like a white guy. Okay. It looks like you give him, give him a little, like the little lip, the little lip crunch and then nod down.

Yeah. If you see a black guy, do you still do that or do you kind of give him an up? An up. Cause I do. You do down for down for white and up for black. I've never thought of it that way. I think it's more of like how much I know him. Like a like a like the up is more like a I don't know you down is like I'm confirming. I know you

hmm right It that makes sense, right? It makes sense, but I don't think that's how I do it I got it cuz skeptic it's it's skeptic with the up for me. It's a it's like blah blah You like yeah, what's up like you want to know more? But if someone's like you're like, yeah Yeah, it's like a partner. I think it has a lot to do with age. Like if it's an, if it's an older person, I usually, I, my default is the down,

the little, but uh, yeah, if it's like a younger, maybe it's not necessarily, it has to be black, but like just an younger folk, like if it's some dude, yeah, some dude skateboarding and I'm like watching him skating. He looks over I'll give him a little what's up like Enough to be like I see what you're doing and I it doesn't bother me type of thing You know, I mean, I know I know the rest of the world doesn't like you but I'm here for like I like I know I'm older but I get it. You're just kid having fun Like I'll give him a little so a little acknowledgement because I like to be cool with the young folk, you know?

Yeah. I try not to be that stereotypical like older dad that's like, oh, you got rips in your jeans. Like I, I feel like I can relate to the younger crowd, even though I don't know all their lingo. It's like, I acknowledge that you're young and I was young once. I know what it's like to be young. Cause I think a lot of older people don't do that. They're like, oh, he's young. He doesn't know anything. I know everything. Cause I'm older and it's like, where the fuck does that come from?

You don't know shit. Just people in general. Yeah. Stupid. So no, no, yeah, but no nods in the glass situation. There was literally just a dead pan stare. No one nodded. Just two dudes staring at each other.

That's it. Imagine that like someone seeing that from a distance, that like three second interaction where you look over and he's just already looking at you. And then some guys like throwing his stuff in the trash like, oh shit. And then anyway, we have fun. Yeah, having a good time. That was all just that little conflicting thing. I thought it'd be fun to bring into the show I've got a thick-ass flog dick hog sing-along get into All right, what do we got here bright guy Well All right. What do we got here? Brat guy. Well, um, you know, chips are smart. Chips.

Chimps. Like, oh, not like not Doritos. Yeah. Okay. I don't know what the IQ of a chip is, but I know chips. Chip. Here we go. I know chimps have something.

They're, they're up there probably higher than a chip, a little lower than us, probably a little higher than a chip Little lower than us but a little higher than a chip It's imagining a documentary The chimpanzees IQ although Slightly larger than a chip a Dorito. I mean, he's pictured a whole laboratory of people trying to teach sign language to chips. He's cracking under the pressure. The heck is getting tons of funding.

They're like, no, no, no, and the camera just goes, it's just a fucking Lays potato chip. Come on, say something. You're our closest ancestor. Nothing coming from it. Just like, ah. We're never gonna break the case. All right, bring out the next.

Well, so chimps, you know, we're a lot alike. We are. And this proves that. Okay, prove it, show me. Chimps are sticking grass and sticks in their butts, seemingly as a fashion trend. That's funny. I mean, not the first place we start with fashion, but I get it. No, but they, you know, we take risk with fashion.

Yeah. I mean, how far... Is there a celebrity alive that if they started sticking of like a stick in their ass That would get other people to do it for a fashion trend. I think they would as a human thing I mean we just sit down too much Yeah, but like someone like uh, someone like what's her name? It's that young gal, huh? Which one she used to have green hair. The little, ah, it's right there. She sings with her breath. Billie Eilish?

Billie Eilish. Like Billie Eilish, if she started sticking sticks in her ass and walking around, people would do it. I mean, I'm not against it. It sounds kind of fun. I'm not against it either. It sounds silly. It's a lot of work.

Yeah. Cause everything, glowing butt plugs. Yeah. Yeah. And the, I mean, and the Fox tail butt plugs. Yeah. I'm just kind of a fashion trend. It's not really catching on, but I get it.

You don't see it at the bank. Yeah. Some guy with a vibrating, illuminating dildo going off in his pants and you're standing behind him in line He's like yeah, I need to transfer some money into my account He's trying to sign up it's like Vibrating it's all scribbly DMV visit a lot more exciting.

Sarah, your signatures don't max. One second. Sets it on the counter. And then no problem. And then just goes, oh, there it is. Imagine if that was just commonplace where like you, you just like in a situation it got to so comfortable where someone sits down at like you go to meet friends at a restaurant and everyone pulls their fucking

Butt plug out of their butt and sets it on the like all right instead of cell phones in the middle It's like all right. Yes ready. Yeah keys like put your butt plugs in the pile Well, I left mine on it's just on The AMC movie theater thing where it has the popcorn roller coaster. And it gets to the it's like a huge like thing. It's like blah, blah. It's like, please visit our concessions and please be mindful of the theater attendees by silencing your cell phones and butt plugs. And everyone's like, Oh yeah. And of course you push the wrong button.

It's like, Yeah. It takes five to shut it off, but you're going through. And then you push the two mini, you started back again, like shit Some people customize their vibration to it's like it's like I

Tune mine to the new kids on the block But stuff Anyway, what are we talking about chips? chimpanzees taking stuff in their butt a group of chimpanzees in Zambia have it resurrected an old Fashion trend with a surprising new twist You won't believe what happened next twist through 15 years after a female chimpanzee named Julie first stuck a blade of grass into her ear and started a hot new craze among her cohort at the Chimfunchi Wildlife Orphanage, an entirely new group of chimps at a refuge have started doing the same thing.

Pete Slauson Okay. Jared Slauson We were really shocked that this had happened again, Jake Brooker, a psychologist and great apes researcher at Durham University in England told as it happens host, Neil Kosai. There it is. We got all the information. The whole paragraph of source documentation. We were even more shocked that they were doing their own spin on it by also inserting grass and sticks in different orifice. The chimps, he says, have been putting blades of grass and sticks into their ears and anuses and simply getting them- Letting.

Letting them dangle there for no apparent reason. Grass, though? The study published by the journal Behavior last week sheds new light on how social culture trends spread and change among our primate cousins, much like they do among humans, which is what we were just talking about. I get it. Look at the picture of this fucking chimp. I see it.

He's just like, I think he's reaching back with his left arm and like, yeah, he's just, just got a stick, got a stick in that ear. They learned it from us, some of it. Anyway, in fact, researchers suspect chimps learn the behavior from people, the ear part that is. The two groups of chimps who display the behavior don't have any contact with each other, but they do share some of the same human caretakers.

They learned the butt stuff from the people too. Right. And those caretakers, the study notes reported that they sometimes use match sticks or blades of grass to clean their ears when working in the animal sanctuary. Also, what the fuck are they doing? Clean your ears with a fucking match? He's like, I'm going to get this stuff out of my ear. Ah, shit!

Lights it on fire? Just start to go fun me. I mean, Q-tips aren't a lot. No. I mean, you buy one box, you're- You're set for life. The orphanage there should be good for at least a month or two. I mean, they can't, like, they're just walking around and be like, oh, dude, it's just, I

love my job, but god damn, I have to clean my fucking ears with matchsticks and blades of grass Like are you a prisoner of war? Dude, that's some that's some like you want to talk about primate like that's going back to fuck our fucking roots right there Yeah, like you don't even oh man. We can't even afford q-tips anymore. We got to use fucking Blades of grass and sticks and matchsticks. Pete Slauson Mm hmm. Because something tells me those aren't going to be doing the trick in the right way. Jared Slauson No.

Pete Slauson Yeah. So, the champs booker says, have potentially copied it from a human who was walking by the enclosure or one of the caregivers who was just going about their daily lives. Like with all cultures, things change over time and they get refined and new quirks and new traditions pop up. It says chimpanzee influencers. In this case, the team traced the new quirk to a male chimp named Juma, who seems to have originated in the grass and butt variation. Who started this? Oh fucking jumma, of course Juma god damn it. Always a practical joker jumma god. Guys get over here Get over here and all the chips like this waddle over with sticks and grass in their ass Who fucking started this?

And like no one's speaking up What's so what's so funny about that. From there, the study shows it spread rapidly to most of the group, group mates within a week. So like, we'll be at, I'll be at school, fucking pickup and it'll be November. One of the kids, they're like, they're, they're playing and one of them will take their shoes off and play on toys. And all of a sudden you look over and eight kids all have their shoes off

because one, one kid did it. And so all the kids did it. So now they're all running around in winter with no shoes on. And it just took one kid to do it. So this makes fucking, this is why we're related. That's a good idea. Right. Why not?

Why'd you do it? Well, I'm gonna give it a shot too. And then we're all doing it. Why are you guys doing it? I don't know. I don't know. They never have a reason. But it says it took about a week.

Yeah. Who was the last person? The last, the last holdout? Fine, I'll stick it in my ass. He's like, he's like, you guys look ridiculous. You're like, come on, he's doing, he's like, no way. You guys are looking dumb idiots. What's the one's name?

Like a. The one that wouldn't be called the last person. Yeah. You guys look ridiculous. You're like, come on, he's doing his like, mm-mm. No way. You guys look like dumb idiots. What's the one's name? Like a... The one that wouldn't do it? Yeah, like a... Like a John. Right?

John won't do it. Come on, John. You're the only one. Jim was like, come on, man. And like, everyone's hitting John in the face with a stick in their ass. You know you want to. You can borrow mine. It's fucking on, man. And like everyone's hitting John in the face with the stick in their ass. You know, you want to, you can even borrow my fucking ridiculous. Come on, let's go back to back double ended to get your butt over here. John, we can share the same stick. Fuck you. Juma fucking Juma, dude.

You suck. I already have love Juma. We get it. I get it. I already have grass in my ears. I'm not putting a stick in my butt. I already gave it on the ears thing. All right. I'm not sticking anything in my ass. You will gave in on the ears thing. All right. I'm not sticking anything in my ass. You will by the end of the week. Yeah, right. Well, okay. Well, that's what they all say.

I'll bet you have three blades of grass and two matchsticks. Three blades of grass and your other fucking ass. I'm going to fuck your ear with this stick. I'm going to let it be John, bitch. Hey, I'm going to go fuck your sister. The same thing happened in Julie's group. Oh, group. She started putting grass in her ear in 2010 and pretty soon seven other chimps were doing the same. The phenomenon even continued after Julie died in 2013. The researchers observed Julie's group again for the new study and

found that two chimps, including Julie's son, were still wearing grass in their ears. So they carried the legacy on. Okay. Monkey see monkey do. Yeah. Also a little identifier. I get it. I get it.

All right. Well, I feel like we can also feel, uh, like I feel a little more happy and safe knowing in this world right now, as we record this podcast, there's a group of chips sticking sticks in their ass. Right now, right now. That's what they're doing right now That's their fashion thing and that's fine So real quick before we move on there's a quote in here that says they spend a lot of time looking each other's butts and

As for Juma's grass in the butt variation Tight grobe says it's possible that they're doing it to make themselves more attractive to potential mates. Females in particular, she noted, display a swelling on their ear, on their rear ends. Swelling on their rear ends to indicate when they're receptive to a little hanky panky. Do I look like a peacock? You look like a peacock, you look like your peacock. It's like, it's just like a swollen butthole means I'm ready. Huh.

So- Sticking the ass really does it, huh? I mean, it's, it's just like putting makeup on or like a, an elegant dress to go out on the town. I wonder if the connection is just so basic. Like, you don't always know what little tiny thing out in the world is going to be like a trigger to turn you on a little bit. But if you see like, if you see some dude walking around with a stick in his ass, like that's not the turn on, but the stick in the ass then got you started,

started making you think about other things and holes. And then you're like, Oh, but that thing in my hole, then before you know it, you got a round Robin all started by a stick in the ass that put your brain in the drain, you know Yeah, it all all it takes is oh that's possible. Yeah, and that's however that's in how innovation happens Mm-hmm didn't know it was possible now. We like I know we're landing on the moon Like I fucking I don't got don't give a shit about that stick in your ass But I started making you think about other things in your butt and you're like, oh I like butt stuff. I like them in here and now Adam and Eve is a billion dollar company. Yeah That's how they'll get you

Alright ready to move off to the next story. Yeah part of this flong-dong sing-along. Mm-hmm chef's food decoration at Chinese preschool poisons 233 children It's a lot of children. That's a lot of children. That's a huge fuck up. That is not a tiny fuck up. No. And this is a wild tale.

So more than 200 children are being treated in a hospital with lead poisoning in northwest China after school chefs used inedible paint to decorate their food Like fucking up the Thanksgiving turkey and then gets painting it brown Yeah, they're like it was someone run to Home Depot and grab some brown paint. It's on get up get some fucking lacquer and Really just dial in this crust. It's taste funny Yeah, well, you may cooked it too long Crust has taste funny Yeah, well, they cooked it too long

Eight people have been arrested after tests showed the food samples from a kindergarten in Tuan Shui city in Gansu Province had lead levels that were two thousand times Over the national safety limit. That's a lot of times That's more than double the thousand times. So much like you look at that. Okay. And just a quick little correlation here. Let's think about it in terms of alcohol. Right?

So when someone says, someone got pulled over and they were like three times the legal limit, you're like, yeah, you, oh boy. Yeah. That's three. That's three. Yeah. 2000 times. Yeah. You don't ever read that article. No, this is DIY with a blood alcohol level, 2000 times higher than the legal limit. No, that's not possible. It's, I don't think it's possible. No, in total 233 children from the nope kindergarten had high levels of lead in their blood after eating steamed red date cake and sausage corn bun transfer school. That should have been, should have been the, uh, what am I trying to say? No wonder they're painting it.

Should have been the line, draw the line at the red dead cake and dead, or whatever the fuck it's called. Red dead cake. What'd you just have at school today? Like you expect to hear like, I don't know, chicken nuggets, chicken sandwich, corn dog, fucking red date cake and sausage corn bun? How was your corn sausage corn bun today at lunch? How was bun nerd. You still want me to what do you like with your sausage corn bun? Uh, do you have any paint? You have lead paint?

The school principal asked the kitchen staff to buy the paint online. According to the police report, just pop online, go to homedepot.com or the paint and they will deliver it There's like there no one's eating it. It's they say the food's not bright enough Then paint it I'm not gonna tell you to do your job the principal's like you're fucking sends over an Amazon link I am gonna do how to tell you how to do your job. Go get this fucking go get some paint But after the children felt ill officers had to search for the supplies, which had

been hidden. Whoops. The paint was clearly marked as inedible. So someone starts people getting sick and they're like, like Jeff, go get Jeff like grabbing the paint cans and he's like, putting them in a closet and backwards. He's walking back to the closet. Slowly walking backwards in front of the police officers. What you got back there? I just edible paint. No, everything behind my back.

You can eat what, what? No, it's just sausage, corn bun, dime a dozen and edible paint. You got it. Fuck. Can you imagine the chef at like a thing like that? We need more corn bun. Corn bun. We got plenty of sausage. Eat more corn bun. We're we're actually, if you guys are here for the sausage corn bun, sorry, we're at a sausage and we don't serve corn bun by itself. No, that'd be a travesty. The paint was clearly marked. so what does that mean? Clearly

marked? Like what? Don't eat. It just says inedible paint, yellow. Inedible yellow paint. And then you look at the other one, it's like inedible blue paint. Like what does that mean by clearly marked? And the tiny thing where he also says you can't put it on a rag and leave it anywhere else you have the risk of it blowing up into flames. That just happened. Yeah. A parent told the BBC that he was worried about the long-term effects of lead poisoning,

understandable concern, on the son's liver and digestive system. Mr. Lu took his child to hospital in Xi'an for testing last week after other parents raised the alarm His son now needs 10 days of treatment and medication Chinese state media aired footage which is said was from CCTV cameras in the kitchen which showed staff adding paint pigment to the food Need more orange gosh dang, dude In case you're wondering investigators found that the red date cake and the corn sausage rolls, that's a different order than last time.

Yeah. You can't just change up the whole recipe. Had lead levels of 1052 milligrams to milligrams and 1340 milligrams respectively, which both exceed the national food safety standard limit of point five. Half a milligram is the limit. How many were in there? Over a thousand. You're not going to believe this shit.

All right. Anyway, that's sad. I hope all the kids are fine. Lead poisoning is no joke, but here we are. You have an experience with this next story. You want to rip it off for us, Brad Guy? Please do. Uh, so, I don't know, there are, are you, yeah, we've already talked about this. You're, you've had experiences with paranormal and stuff like that. And so has Zach.

Zach. Stuff like that. And so has Zach. Zach. Zach. So I, so there's a doll Annabelle. Anyway, so here's the headline. Paranormal investigator dies on US tour with the, with the allegedly haunted doll Annabelle. Okay.

New England society for psychic research announcement, the sudden death of Dan Rivera, the organization's leader. Yeah. We'll talk about this and then I'll talk about my experience. So, a paranormal investigator who has helped lead a national tour of the allegedly haunted Annabelle doll has suddenly died over the weekend. On Tuesday, New England Society of Psychic Research announced the sudden death of 54-year-old Dan Rivera, the organization's lead paranormal investigator and an army veteran. Rivera's death occurred on Sunday during his visit to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania,

where he was leading the Devil's on the Run tour. Pete Slauson It sounds like something Motley Crue would be on, dude. Jared Slauson Yeah, dude. The Devil's on the run tour with Iron Maiden and fucking... Black Sabbath, Motley Crue, and Iron Maiden. Not a doll. As part of the tour, Rivera and other NESPR members were bringing the supposedly haunted, raggedy Ann doll across multiple states. The doll, which was popularized through the 2013

horror movie, The Conjuring, and its subsequent franchise was first purchased in 1970 from a hobby store by a mother and given to her daughter, a nursing student in Connecticut. Annabelle was reported to have moved around on its own, leaving notes and psychic slashes on victims. The note was subsequently given over to the late paranormal investigators, Ed and Lorraine Warren. Sorry. What did I say?

Porn-a-normal? Thank you. Paranormal ghost. Like just... Porn-a-normal. Porn-a-normal. Mm-hmm. Ed and Lorraine Warren, who kept it in their occult museum based in Monroe, Connecticut. Rivera, who said Lorraine Warren had mentored him, told participants gathered at the Gettysburg Soldiers National Orphanage over the weekend about the precautions he had taken to protect

them from the dolls' supposed hauntings. What Lorraine would say to protect yourself is, close your eyes and envision yourself in a halo of white light. Rivera told participants in the Evening Sun reports. Pete Slauson Okay. If that doll, okay, all the stuff around this doll, and all you have to do is think of your, just like, keep you safe and close your eyes and think about being inside of a light. Pete Slauson Thanks for nothing. Pete Slauson That's not a very powerful doll. Well, so I think this is the same doll.

I would assume so. I think I'm pretty sure that Mr. Zach Bagans, she's now like, I think, well, I don't know if she was there all the time or if she was just there when I was there, but it was at the Zach Bagans, uh, haunted museum in Vegas. And we went into this room and basically what Zach said was, don't look it in the eyes. And so you had some people walking by and like, you just walk through it, like, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. And some people stopped and they're like, look at the feet. There was like staring right at it.

I think I did like a little bit of a little mixture where I walked in and kind of did like side-eyed it as I was walking through because my rational brain says, fuck you. Yeah, nothing's going to happen. But the side of the brain that's like, that wants to be scared and it likes, likes the side of it. The environment too. You're in the house and it's, and it's very, feels supposedly haunted,

all this kind of stuff you want to play along. Yeah. And so it's a little scary cause it's like, well, what if, what if I do get cursed or something? What if it did get up? Mm hmm. And like touch my nutsack. Yeah.

Now I have to hump this doll. I have to look at it. I'm not going to look it in the eyes while I'm humping it and tell you that much. So it's just like normal sex. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was the question that I had for you guys was like, how far do you take the haunted item side of things?

Zach? 0%. No, nothing on haunted item. No. Like a cursed item? Pulling it up from something and like, Oh, you're cursed. Cause you, and it has a whole thing. Yeah. I don't, I don't think so. I don't know how that would happen.

I just, it baffles my mind for that to be a thing. And the things you've been through. Yeah. And what you've seen, I'm kind of, I mean, I'm in the same boat as you as I don't necessarily believe doll has demonic powers. Like if you were that powerful, you wouldn't be trapped in a doll, you fucking nerd. Exactly. Get out of the nerd, you fucking idiot. What a hell.

Like what are you doing in here? With all the things I've seen and heard from and experienced and researched and stuff, I still remain pretty skeptical about all that stuff. Especially items and whatever. Everything would be haunted then from 1800s on or even before that. Every square inch of the earth is haunted then.

Yeah, which is different because you don't have one, but Zach and I have ghost experiences. And I feel like there's a different, it's a different lane than the item haunting thing. which I don't, yeah, I just want to talk to you guys about that. Like I don't, that's just where I go back every single time. Like I believe in my experience with like ghosts and things moving and all of the things around that whole story that I told years ago now is one thing, but being trapped inside trapped inside something is just doesn't make a whole

full of fucking sense to me. It's like sci-fi fantasy, like holocron. Yeah. Or a crux. It's like, what are you doing in here? But if a let's, this is just asking questions. If a demon or like a spirit could get trapped in a house, why couldn't it get trapped in a doll?

Yeah. I don't believe in the demons trapped in a house, why couldn't I get trapped in a doll? Yeah. I don't believe in the demons trapped in the house. So like, I feel like you're either on the fence about it or you're not. So like, if you think that if you can accept one, how can we can't accept that too, is what that question makes sense. You can be like, well, I've had experiences with ghosts and I, but it's like, yeah, but I don't believe that you get trapped in a Doll yeah, how do you justify that? I don't feel like they're trapped in there

Does that make sense? There's no what there isn't that no enough like they like exercise a house Yeah, like that. Yeah, I know I get it but like it's the There's the the side of like a doll having the power to fucking kill you is different than a spirit existing inside of our world and having interaction with wherever like our different, I don't know, universes or whatever. What do you want to call it? Like where they, like they overlap. There's a difference between that and a fucking raggedy end doll that'll kill you if it looks you in the eyes. See, I guess I hadn't considered the killing part. I was thinking just the spirit being trapped or the demon being trapped in the doll is

what I was thinking. Yeah, but you take it and then negative and then they die. Like that's where the line is. It's not about what they're trapped in. I just don't feel like it's... It definitely helps feed the narrative of this thing being haunted though. The fact that the guy died while- Pete Slauson The next person that owns it is so fucking

pumped right now. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, so when I went into that haunted museum, like, they purposely make everything really tight and dark and weird noises and they have like, the spirit catchers and stuff in there where you walk down this basement and it's like, and you're supposedly, you can hear things. Um, so they, they set you up to be like spooked, but could you imagine just going through that house in the day? Like he's walking in there and it's like

the sun shining through. Hey, I got a Jersey Mike's for Zach. Number seven, right back number seven Right back here, okay. Well weird dolls, dude Yeah, some of them into you. All right, man. We'll have a good day Exactly totally different vibe. Thanks for what here? I'm gonna toss a couple bucks extra on there get to wait so long You guys have like an old TV on like the static channel or what? It's fucking annoying. No, it's a spirit box and apparently you can what? What? Well, if you next time you want to order, I'll turn on my spirit box and you can fucking call me over here at Jersey Mike's. Can I get pay-per-view with this? From this weird

box? You guys are weirdos. Anyway, tip me well. See ya. Yeah. So whenever like I used, I mean, I used to watch ghost hunters and I watched some, I watched some ghost adventures with Zach and it's funny cause whenever they do the, you know, whenever they do the, they always wait till night. It's always dark and they use night vision shit. I've always just thought like, why don't they just go during the day? Yeah. And if the ghost is there, the ghost is there.

Yeah. They'll get the fuck of it's day time or not. it's like, all right. Or the sun's gone down. Can't wait to touch some people. So that, so I love the idea of all that stuff. Like all day they're busy. Yeah. My rational brain, that's the way that's immediately the kind of stuff that I think about. It's like, well, they took a day off because they're tired of conjuring or whatever it's like. So it's hard for me to go completely there, but there's a side of me that wants to be scared and we'll let it happen. And I think that that's why it's a billion dollar industry. Yeah. I mean, if I haven't had the experiences I've had,

I'd be in the same boat. But I mean, I do that same thing. I guess, why would, why does the ghost have to wait for this? Why can't a ghost do this? Why if a ghost had all this power, they turn the fucking light on and not ripping your head off. You get it. Sometimes there's just, might just be like a loose wire. Could be. Or something like that.

Or that made the house vibrate a little bit and the window shut because it wasn't fully lodged. All right, well. Sorry, I don't want to shit on your experiences. Yeah, that's all right. You weren't there, fucking loser. All right, next thing, Zach, go!

So you're telling me there's a chance. Hooray, we are doomed. Yeah! It's my fault you weren't there. It's not my fault that there's multiple people involved Hooray. We are doomed. Yeah. It's my fault you weren't there. It's not my fault that there's multiple people involved and you weren't one of them. It's like being invited to a cool party and you weren't there.

Yeah. It's the, yeah. Just, I didn't want to go anyway. It's just fucking losers. Zach and Monique and my kids and the ghosts. Uh, so you guys hear this news? That's convenient. Oh yeah.

What? That the kids were involved? Mm hmm. Can you just go back and listen to that story again and then? What, that the kids were involved? Mm-hmm. Can you just go back and listen to that story again and then tell me to go fuck myself? Because you can't do it. Anyway, back to you. Did you guys know this happened? So the TSA will no longer require all passengers to take their shoes off at the airport?

Doesn't matter to me, brother. I'm fucking... Wow! I'm fucking... TSA pre. I'm pre-checking. I don't care. I don't giveSA pre. I'm pre-checking out here. Yeah shit Okay, well for everyone else

after nearly two decades Of being terrified of exploding shoes Passengers going through airport security in the United States will no longer have to take off their goddamn shoesies Well, guess what's gonna happen what shoe bomb? I Well, guess what's going to happen? What? Shoe bomb! I fucking hope so. Well, you know what I mean. I hope that if that happens, please don't make us put our shoes on again.

I'm guessing the technology has advanced enough in the last 20 years that taking my shoes off and putting them through an X-Saver machine that someone who looks like they shouldn't be running the X a machine is really controlling everything Yeah, how funny is it when you go through the thing you you put your thing through there and like, you know Nothing's in there, but you're still watching the guy looking at your stuff And they're not they're not do like looking at but also like over their shoulder being like you got it now get a Okay, I'll get one too. He's good. Venti. Yeah. Yeah, right.. But they're like, you can feel a little judged that they're looking at your stuff. Looking at my dildos. Yeah. And they have all my switchboards. The Transportation Security Administration will be eliminating the security requirement

effective immediately. Kristi Noem, the Secretary of Homeland Security announced Tuesday. TSA will no longer require travelers to remove their shoes when they go through our security checkpoints. We want to improve this travel experience, but while maintaining safety standards and making sure that we're keeping people safe, the news was first reported by the blog gate access. Now, correct me if I'm wrong.

And I feel like this might be a thing that Zach knows better than I. But the shoe situation. Are we, are we the only country that makes you take your fucking shoes off? Right? Yeah, I think so. Okay. I'm not sure though. We don't in Mexico. We fly back to Mexico. I feel like Canada. We had that one incident. You see that? And then they've been checking everybody for 20 years.

I know. Ain't that the government? Yep. Uh, we could do a quick little search here. Do other countries make you take your shoes off? Do the terrorists hate us as much as other countries? Uh, I don't think that's the point. Isn't it?

What? We're definitely one of the least favorite on the terrorist list. But with shoe bomber, was he a terrorist? Yeah, he was. I think so. Yeah. Well, yeah, it's it doesn't matter if it's a white guy. You see, that's racist calling the terrorist brown. I guess I didn't like America.

That's still a terrorist. So was the guy that blew up the fucking- So if I don't like something, I'm a terrorist? No, the guy that blew up the fucking Oklahoma City was a white dude and he's a terrorist. So was the guy that blew up the fucking- So if I don't like something, I'm a terrorist? No, the guy that blew up the fucking Oklahoma City was a white dude, and he's a terrorist. Okay. Terrorist doesn't mean you're brown. Terrorist means you do terror. Why you just boxed me in?

I didn't say anything. Because you're fucking racist, dude. I didn't say shit. Like I said, not liking your country and trying to blow something up doesn't necessarily mean- You're brown Terrorism is political violence. Yes. Thank you. This means you don't like something you're fucking mad. You try and blow it up Your country doesn't mean to fucking do you want to tear? Usually you're brown. What are we doing?

He just went from flipping this conversation onto me and So and then just be Look at me with a cowboy. Yeah, I think brown people are terrorists. Yeah, take that clip and you took it You're like you're like, yeah, cuz go what jokers are not brown and then I said something you're like, yeah, cuz they're not brown Hey, my wife's brown. I could say that. Okay, that's fair. She's not eastern too. Yeah What are you gonna do? I'm bulletproof either come Mary's's Eastern too. Yeah. Come after me. What are you going to do? I'm bulletproof. I'm married. One of them. Yeah, we'll see. I'm married. One is that that's one of the most phrases ever. I'm married one. Yeah. So anyway, no longer have to take your shoes off. I'm getting high. I got to take these gloves off. Let's see how that goes. But I felt like that was

some good news. Something we found on the internet. You guys want to rip it off? Zack, let's go! The internet is pretty wild. Depending on your browsing habits, you can either experience something super cool, or go to prison. Crazy, right?

Let's check it out. Together, as a couple. Hey, look what I found. Yes! That's awesome! God damn it. What? I'm trying to open this fucking article and I got seven pop-ups. Wow.

So, one of the things on this show that's kind of a staple are AI songs. Uh-huh. Yes. And as we've talked about, it keeps getting better and better. Sure does. And better and better and better again. Well, it's gotten so good that there is, I mean, there has to be, I'm sure there's more than one, but this is the, let's see, I'm trying to, so now, excuse me, I'm gonna get this pulled up so we can. Okay. Oh.

Okay. So there's a band, a psychedelic rock band called the Velvet Sundown have garnered over 500,000 monthly Spotify listeners and released two full length records in a single month with a third on the way this July. Dude, how do they think of all this stuff? God, this must have a lot to write about. They're the best dude. They're like the most productive band ever. Just the fucking an album or a song that's ready for an album every three days. They don't sleep, dude. No. While the rapid rise would be impressive for any music act, it appears the group may be a product of generative AI. I mean, I haven't listened to this. I'm excited to hear it.

Oh, let me, let me just play something for you. Okay. Cause I want to know if I could tell if it was AI or not. Hello? Hello. Is it plugged in? Yeah. Are we alive?

Is it muted? I really need to hear him. The foot, but it says according to their bio, the velvet shunt sundowns music is site a 70 psychedelic alt rock and folk rock and the lineup is comprised of four members singers. So they have their names too. That's so funny. So there's like Gabe Farrow, guitarist Lenny West, Milo Reigns, and Orion Rio del

Mar, Ryan. Oh, it's so good. Milo Reigns and Orion Rio Del Mar. Orion. Oh, it's so good. Dude, I can't. It's not playing. I'm playing the fucking song and I can't hear it. Well, anyway, try harder. God damn it.

Is his computer on over there? Does that keep you? Yeah, it is. Yet the members aren't traceable online beyond the band's Instagram account, which was started just days ago. Some of the photos feature the members enjoying burgers to celebrate their second LP release and recreating the Beatles' Abbey Road album cover. Okay. Yeah. All right. Yeah, I don't know why it's not playing. I'm playing it on a different thing it's just not playing no geez you're not muted or anything no all right anyway

you can listen on your own I guess no I have a computer too damn it way to go guys it's not me it's by me like as soon as I plug in it goes away Wow are you sure you're plugged in over there? You got something going on over there? I ain't no idiot. Blowing up Spotify. This is a YouTube thing I'm trying to find. Okay, let's see.

This week the music industry was taken by storm by the emergence of a artificial. Well now everyone knows that it is. Artificial. Here we go. It may be a little bit generic and derivative, if anything, attempt to create one of these. I don't care about this guy's opinion. It might be.

I don't know what this guy's doing, but yeah, so that's going to be a path that us as a species are going to have to figure out like how good but what they can't do is they can't take away the live performance yet. I'm sure there's going to be AI crazy shit where they put on as nuts. I know, but even then I've seen a hologram performance and it's not nearly as good as watching a person do it. Well, and imagine like the after, like the inviting them to the after like fucking groupies and shit.

Come back to my charging station, Joe. Yeah, you come back and it's like, I was looking to fuck this guy. Do you mind if we sit in the sunshine? My solar panels need charging, Joe. I'm glad you like the show. I see that you have tears. Sometimes I get sad when I don't have tears, Joe. But what I do have is a new brand new album. Pete Larkin And I will have a new one next week.

Joe Larkin I have a new album today. I'll have a new album tomorrow. Pete Larkin Imagine putting out a full lengthlength album every month. I know like a polished Every start to finish 12 albums in a year. Hmm every year Just word 44 albums in 12 years. Great sense It's all new original stuff. Uh-huh. Yeah, also there's not I don't know though, I think it's just one of those things we've touched on it before that it's gonna, it's gonna work its way out. Like it's gonna have to just figure how it plays, how people react to it. There'll be some people that embrace it and they think that it's fine. And there's gonna be people that like, this is just,

all they did was learn from us and make a song that's going to strike a chord, but it's not the same thing. Pete So, the only, I, on a, on a, on just like a basis level, I have no zero problem with it, but from a, on a level of like a person that their livelihood is creating content, it, it's a constant battle in my brain with that because Like I could my brain needs to think of all these ideas and put something out and like and that's how we get a paycheck Versus like some guys sitting in a basement Creating something like this and then figuring out a way to monetize that and make a shitload of money Yeah, and all they're doing is prompting. Yeah. Well, I think it'll just be shut down like yeah And they are locked down on it. And then they'll come back

and there'll be a place that is for not like, what am I trying to say? Like Spotify, all the outcasts, all the AI outcast shit is going to have a place to go. It's going to be a genre. It's gonna be fun. It's gonna be a genre. Exactly. It's gonna be AI. I listen to AI country. Like I don't like real country. Like I get it. Like 90s country. Yeah, there's gonna be AI. I listen to AI country. I got like real country like I get it. I'm not used country Yeah, there's gonna be the separation the split between the two there's gonna be bands that have like one AI member And then other people that are real they couldn't stand them. Yeah, this dude sucks. He's got rid of them

Yeah, exactly. So there's gonna be a whole blending thing and we have to figure out how to how to navigate it But quick question. Yeah, was that a record company that put that out or was it just a guy? Just a guy. And it does, does it say who the guy is at all? Not that I could find. It's just a band. So he still went viral because of this creation. So they found it organically and then it grew that way. That's crazy. Yeah. Or it grew that way, but also he, whoever's creating it has a marketing team behind it and knows how to do it. And was like, this band who's supposedly AI has this many followers, creating a whole buzz storm around it to make some money before these companies crack down on it.

And then now this business model is going to be gone. But right now it's a business model that probably has made him a lot of money. Doesn't it seem like something a record company would do knowing how they treat artists, most of them? It's like, fuck these people, let's do machines. At the time of that article, it said 500,000 monthly listeners. It's up to almost 1.5 million. I think I'm on the Spotify right now. Verified artist, Velvet Sundown. What's its biggest song? Does it say? Dust on the wind. Not generic at all? No, not at all. Well, since Brian can't figure out how to make sound work. It worked fine before I plugged it in. Oh, so what do you think it is then? I don't know. Watch.

You think it's me or you? Okay, here we go, ready? I have it on my computer. ["I'm Not a Man"] I mean, it's not like it's good, it's fine. I think people are okay with listening to something that's just fine. It sounds like an alternative country, like that genre, like alt country. Music video is already done. Yeah, if you bring it up. So it's all AI too. But it's still I creating the video so it's not right. A cowboy in a, two with three legs.

Kit. Toss cry out. Oh my God. Future's fucking dumb. Ashes fall. We still got time to make a stand. the the the the Not for pride, let that flag turn with the tide

That's terrifying. I mean it's not... it's fucking... it's fine. Anyway, so it's definitely just a marketing ploy. Alright, well there it is. Let's move off to hear from some of our kids. Zach, fuck yeah, dude! Thank you, guys! Alright, let's hear is. Let's move off to hear from some of our kids. Zach, fuck yeah, dude! Hey, you guys! Ha ha! Alright, let's hear what you guys think. Really? You wanna talk to me? Wow, that's cool.

Alright, our first email is coming in from our son Chase who writes, What's up, daddies? Hey, son! This is your son Chase writing in about your inquiry on the life of a carny. Well, it had been years after the carny life before my dad decides to not be a winner at a pullout game and I came along I feel like the carny life mentality never went away carny conceiving yeah I found out he was a carny in Florida in the 80s that's it

man you're gonna carny if that was that was the best time dude to be a car I'm fucking full-on party. He was in his 30s Sitting at a bar. Sorry when I was fucked one thing is read When he was 30 sitting at a bar drinking with my father and his buddies it sounded like an experience to say the least The day generally started with some booger sugar and a beer. Fuck yeah, dude, let's go. Oh, yeah! Followed by cat calling and terrorizing locals,

especially on the beach. Then usually a fight or two in the fun house. Like bare knuckle brawl or fight club style, but with carnies. That's funny. Yeah. Just looking at, where'd you go? You look over and like some guys like, whoop, and he's like, eight of you?

Eight of them with like really tall legs and a tiny body. Come here, motherfucker. And then that was basically just getting ready for the day. Running the funhouse turns out it was pretty eventful, usually ending up in a fight. Dude, it's just, it's describing exactly what I thought a carny life was like. Totally. Or having to get fucked up people out of there when it was past 10 PM. But he made sure to add that the old dude who worked the fun house before him passed

on all the tricks of the trade on how to woo drunk bachelorette parties wandering through the fun house and how to angle all the mirrors to get good views. So it's just a full on textbook definition of carny. Like this is exactly just so come about 1am. Everything starts to shut down and then all the carny's get turned loose on the town, going to bars or beach party, running back into said bachelorette parties or people who

they got into a fight with, but now having a few more friends at the bar. Well, I guess whatever group they ran into kind of determines what the rest of the night looked like. But I say the Cardi mentality never goes away because this is the same man that had a knife drawn on him walking into a local bar and didn't even flinch and charges the knife holder. Or even when he was pushing 70, doesn't question fighting a security guard at a concert who is being an asshat These are just some of the examples that come to mind Anyway, there's a small look in the life of a Kearney I guess honk honk fuckers. Bye

I would that's it. I want to sit down and Have a night with that guy fucking share a corndog with a carny? Oh dude, yeah, fucking elephant ear. I like to share an elephant ear with you, dude. Instead of like, that's a guy I could have a beer with, that's a guy I could have an elephant ear and a corndog with. Fucking deep fried Twinkie with that fella. Just that, that fucking free lifestyle, brother.

Getting out there. That's freedom. Just letting Gravitron guide you. You wanna read the second one? No. Okay, you want me to do it? It's so long. Is it?

Oh yeah. It's coming from the other side of the world. Okay. And it's from Kyle, he writes, shout outs from Sweden. Ah! I had written to you guys, I got, I was gonna do an accent.

I had written to you guys a few years ago. I to do an accent. I'd written to you guys a few years ago. I don't know what happened, but a lot of the stuff I emailed, and I guess did not come through. I'd gotten bounce back messages that the emails could not be delivered. Don't know if there were server problems or whatever. I had all those old emails still in my sent box. I'd also done copy and paste and I had also done copy and paste and had sent a lot of old stuff as direct messages to the Can You Don't Instagram and Facebook Messenger accounts. And the other day I took a chance and tried to resend one of those old stories to the email again. And it seemed to come through since Joe answered, so here I am back again, resending more old bullshit.

Welcome back. Joe, now a reference to you talking about hurricanes and tornadoes blowing shit around, the reverse yard sale deal. Dude, I totally forgot about that. This one is from the early to mid 90s. My own high school days, there was this chick, Heather Hine. Heather was a skate Betty. Chicks that hang out with skateboarders for the people not in the know. Not in the know was a skate Betty. Hmm. Chicks that hang out with skateboarders for the people not in the know.

Not in the know that the skate Betty. Yeah, it's kind of like a snowbird or whatever. Like a what they fucking called what from concerts. The chicks that blow the musicians. Groobies? God, yeah. Is that what it, same thing? I don't know. Or just hang out at the skate park. Okay, not blowing.

Yeah. Matt? Sorry, jump the gun on that one. Oh, snow bunny. Snow bunny is what I was thinking about. Okay. The chicks that hang out with the skiers and boarders. Ah, the skateboard, the snowboarders.

Yeah. I was actually not in on this prank, but a lot of my skater friends who were also friends with Heather did this to her. So a bunch of my friends went around stealing random shit like shopping carts, signs and banner stuff from gas stations, I know that game, etc. Just gathering a buttload of random stuff. Then they made a shitload of yard sale signs for 6am on Saturday morning. They dumped all the random shit in Heather's parents yard and went around town putting up yard sale signs. I have another story about my friends fucking with Heather as well, still from the mid 90s high

school days. One time when Heather's parents were gone for the weekend and Heather threw a house party, folks were leaving hidden notes all over the house like someone unrolled the toilet paper in the bathroom and at the end of the roll wrote, Hey, asshole, we're out of toilet paper. And then re-rolled the paper roll back or like in the sugar bowl buried in the sugar, refill the sugar. You dick. Her parents were finding notes all over the house for weeks and they're pretty pissed. What did Heather Hine do to everybody? Didn't blow them. Must have done something.

Oh yeah. And from the episode where you guys had the story about the shithead manager from Olive Garden. Oh, I don't know that one. I'm not bringing a bill. Are you talking about Zach's son? I kind of remember. The last story reminded me of in 2000, 2001 when I lived in Escondido, California. I worked for Kinkos, the copy place that is now FedEx office.

I remember Kinkos. I had an assistant manager, Kerry, who was always kind of a dick towards me. For example, one morning when I was driving to work, I got into a car accident. The guy driving behind me rear-ended my pickup. There was actually no real damage done. My back bumper brackets, my back bumper brackets, got bent and the bumper was bent down, nothing major. The guy who reared him, he just drove off and left the scene. Son of a bitch. I did not have a cell phone at the time and found a payphone and called into work. God,

what did we do before cell phones, dude? My coworker Todd, fucking Todd, forgot to tell anyone at work that I had been in an accident and would be late. I got to work and K wrote me up for being late. When I told him I had been in a car accident and the other guy just drove off, Care's reply was, you should have left your house earlier. Empathy. None of it just doesn't give a fuck. Basically meaning implying if I would have left my house

earlier, I would have been work on time for work. Like what in the actual fuck? I was on time to work. I got into an accident. There was another time that Kerry wrote me up for being late. Both he and I were actually late. He drove into the parking lot behind me, but got into the store before me. And yeah, wrote me up and bitched me out for being late. And yet, and again, as I wrote, we both were actually late, jerk off, needed to write himself up as well. Have fun stuttering your way through this one, Brian. Peace out you asshats, Kyle.

I think you did a pretty good job. You did too bad. Yeah. I think you did a good job. All right. Well, thanks for writing in and recapping some of those stories. Those are memories that, like as we've mentioned a million times that we bring up.

And then as soon as we say some shit on the show, we're fucking flies out the other year. All right, well that's it. We'll get after the bonus stuff. Something you want to see on the show, email into heyguysatcanyonownpodcast.com. Reminder, the honkathon is on. Patreon.com slash Canyone on podcast.

Check out that golden goose tear if you're in a position to support the show in that way the merch-a-thon is on too just fucking the Joe-a-thon the Brian-a-thon the Zach-a-thon fucking honk-a-dong-a-thong-a-bong the bong-a-thon show my python rate review the show thanks uncle Zach producing the show check out to what he's doing at scatcast.com and a shout out to the babysitters that moderate the game you know play with them the show thanks to Uncle Zach producing the show check out what he's doing at scatcast.com and a shout out to the babysitters that moderate the game you know play with them play with them all right let's wrap it up Zach let's fuck it

good god wrap it up already huh hey so today my son asked me can i have a book mark hmm my breast into tears he's 12 years old he still doesn't know my name Hmm. What'd you say? My burst into tears. He's 12 years old. He still doesn't know my name. Nice. You get it?

Yeah. It took a second. Yeah. Cause. My name's not fucking Mark, dude. Dude. I'll get you your own book. Get you a book, but.

Just call me dad, dude. Just call me dad, dude. All right. Off to the bonus shit. We love you guys. Hey, yeah, brother. Bye. Wee.

Wee. Wee. Wee. Wee brother, bye! Wee! Woo! Woo woo woo woo!