Can You Don't? - Can You Don't? | Tennis Balls. Cowboy. Childbirth. Garden Hose.

Episode Date: April 10, 2024

Imagine two rival gangs facing off in an alley. The hatred they have for each other has been stewing for a little over 35 years and FINALLY... it's time to settle the score. Now, imagine that all the gang members are riding unicycles. Let's talk about that, whether or not flipping a coin is truly 50/50 odds, getting terrorized by random cows for over two years, what the heck is wrong with Bryan's left eye, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast ***New Episodes every Wednesday at 12pm PSTWatch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/YJ6qTQo76EgSend in segment content: [e-mail]: http://canyoudontpodcast.comMerch Inquires: [e-mail]: http://facebook.com/canyoudontpodcastIG: http://instagram.com/canyoudontpodcastYouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wyt5rtOfficial Website: http://canyoudontpodcast.comCustom Music Beds by Zach CohenFan Mail:Can You Don't?PO Box 1062Coeur d'Alene, ID 83816Hugs and Tugs.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Tennis balls. Cowboy. Childbirth. Garden hose. I am happy to be here. I see what you did there. I am so thankful for your friendship. I am so thankful for our listeners. And just, I mean, I want to know what the fuck happened to your eye. What is that? Get in there, Zach.

I know. I wish we could zoom in. Hello. What the fuck is happening? I think it's a fight. I think it's a stye. I think it's a stye. You know who could tell you?

The doctor? Yeah. Yeah, well, I haven't been able to get to the doctor. There's a lot of shit going on. Looks like you're just kind of winking at me, but also kind of got stung by a bee. I would say it looks more like stung by the bee but you know what it didn't stop me from doing what solving this mini oh look at you did it right as we finished it right as we were oh my goodness a lot of people

had a lot of things to say about our rubik's cube talk yeah we are going through so cassie and i were cleaning up some shit and found a couple tiny Rubik's Cube. We figured we'd bring that in for you. We brought it in, and while we were getting ready to record, I sold it for you. Didn't even take the stickers off. Nope. Oh, I'm so proud of you. Fucking cheaters.

We both went to a Seattle Mariners game, had some fun. Yeah, they won. No, they lost. They lost their season opener. It was fun, man. It was good. It was the kids' very first professional sporting event. Whoa.

So that was wild for them to see. You know, just haven't gotten over there for one of those. So it was fun. Yeah, we went. Ezra was super nervous. It's just a lot going on. Hell yeah, a lot of people. But once he settled in, he had a fucking blast.

We had my kids and my niece, and all three of them got a ball. Yep. We got no ball. Because that's what happens when you roll with me now. Every time we go, we get a ball. Uncle Bri? Yeah. You have to take my kids, because I have no idea.

I'm just like, I don't know. Dad doesn't know how to do it. Well, good luck. Just make the bullpen catcher feel bad. That's right. At the All-Star game, my Spanish came in handy because there was a Spanish-speaking lad who was a bullpen catcher, and I asked him for a ball in Spanish, and he immediately turned around and threw me a ball.

Okay. That's pretty sweet. Perfect. All right. So our Patreon content, we keep talking at the end of every single episode. I choose my words very carefully. I bet. And you can sign up and

support us on patreon it's awesome patreon.com slash can you don't podcast exclusive merch new merch check that out at can you don't podcast.com um we have an update remember we talked about the the chess player that got in trouble accusations for the vibrating vibrating butt plug yeah i mean this is just a marketing play. We've read this before when it comes to, or things like this before. We've read this before. I guess keep bringing up

the same article. I know we read this last week, but I'm just going to read it again. No, like Pornhub has tried to sponsor soccer teams and like stuff like that. They're like,

no, they're like, come on, come on. They try to build, uh, dude, everyone's watching porn.

Come on. Like NFL stadiums, but Pornhub's like the Pornhub Arena. Which, I mean, that'd be cool. Brazzers Stadium. This place is stuffed tonight. It's oozy. Jam-packed.

Halftime, they give away free cream pies. You only enter through the back. Yeah, make a half-court shot, win a fucking free toaster strudel. I thought you were going to say dildo. I know, that too. So St. Louis Chess Scandal inspires offer of free anal vibrators to level the playing field. So there's a big old chess tournament in this local shop, like a sex shop, which I know it's in here somewhere. What is the name of it?

Oh, yeah. So the company is WeVibe, and they're offering free anal stimulation toys to all players in next month's World Chess Championship in Toronto. Hmm. So they're like, listen, this kind of, I mean, it's the same thing we've talked about with baseball and steroids. Just because you took steroids doesn't make you good at baseball. Right? You still got to be good. You still have to be really good.

And then steroids is going to up it a little bit. So in this case, just because you have a vibrating butt plug in your ass isn't going to make you good at chess. Right. Right. But it might give you a little advantage. Yeah. And I just thought that that was just a funny, funny thing. They're like, listen, if you want it, come on down.

We'll get you a little free. Come on down. Come on down. Get this on in. Yeah. Come on down. Come on down and we, come on down We'll get you a little free Come on down Come on in I think everything should be Everything in the world Should have You should allow steroids

You should allow butt plugs It would make the game more exciting Make everything more exciting I never thought about those two things together Steroids and butt plugs? You know where I want it brother Yeah, oh man. Oh see okay. You know how there's the whole Astros Scandal about the the trash cans and all the stealing signs and shit

What if that's the thing like you have a butt plug you're up to bat mm-hmm and you're the yeah you have okay Curveballs We were joking about this a couple weeks ago, all the different patterns on the vibrating dildos and toys. Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom. Oh, knuckleball. Click, click. Mooseknuckle. Here comes the mooseknuckleball. Yeah. No, you're like, that's not the one you click. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Reminds me of my old phone. Click. Click.

Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom.

Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom.

Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom.

Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom.

Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom.

Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom.

Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. vuh-vuh, vuh-vuh-vuh-vuh. Like you're trying to start a motorcycle you haven't started in a couple years.

Yeah. God damn it! Some daddy issues there. Yeah. You get it. Fuck it. I'm all for it. All right. We'll put that... Start working on that. Yeah, we'll get right on it.

Put it in the merch store. You want to start this show? Sure. You and your eye? No. I would love to. Zach! Hey, shut up.

Start the show already. It looks... I feel like it's so swollen I can see my cheek. And if I close my good eye, it's just blurry. What if you close your brown eye? It's clenched up, baby. Yeah! I need to get an eye patch. When you walked in, I was offended.

Yeah? I almost didn't let you in. I was like, we don't. Halloween's over. Yeah, I don't want that in in this room i don't want to breathe in whatever you got going on this is a terrible halloween costume uh so this is a it's wordy there's a lot going on so i'm gonna have to break this thing down but it's sent in by one of our children going by the name bunny hopper do you remember naming one of our kids Bunny Hopper, Brian? No. Either way.

I don't remember last week. Yeah. So if we had any part in naming you and your real name is Bunny Hopper, blame your mom. Would you rather be an underage illegal immigrant driving an ice cream truck and hit a guy juggling tennis balls while he's riding a unicycle? Jesus Christ. Okay. Take that in.

Or be the guy that's juggling tennis balls while riding a unicycle. Jesus Christ. Okay. Take that in. Or be the guy that's juggling tennis balls while riding a unicycle and be hit by an underage illegal immigrant driving an ice cream truck. That's a lot. Okay. So, driving the car, you're not going to die. That's cool. Right? So, you're driving the ice cream truck. At least you know you're going to be alive, but you're not gonna die that's cool right so you're driving the ice cream truck at

least you know you're gonna be alive but you're gonna get in trouble yeah but maybe you didn't put your seaball on and then you you hit him plow through him and then go oh my god you turn into a tree yeah oh my god what are you in a phone call yeah hold on one second here can i pick it up it feels like we're just setting this thing up maybe it's my eye doctor with my medication hello joseph is this the whole music this should be the new hold music for everybody well joseph maro we're glad you're doing well buddy oh here it comes no

all right we love you okay i know it sounds like you're busy in the studio love you okay bye the new recording yeah i mean he fucking better well that was really good timing on the uh the hang up and yeah that's because that was actually just because it was all it was real yeah no that makes sense yeah that makes sense cool cool that sound like it could be it's kind of tinny like uh hold music is i i was talking to one of our listeners it might have been on our patreon it might have been on facebook but uh we are having a good laugh and she said she's she's done it before but is there anything more frustrating when like a company calls you right you're like hello like oh hi is this you know this is brian yes it's brian okay one second i'll get you connected to who you have to talk to

then they put you on hold but they called me fuck ass imagine joseph morrow like hello and it's just fucking like is this joe yep www.commonallover someone will be within a second and then i love that song's playing it's like uh your call is very important to us your business is very important to us uh someone will be with you shortly sex on on me. Sex on me. Sex on me. We should set up a 1-800 number just for that. Just to call that number? Just to do that, yeah. Sex on me. Is that enough letters?

Yeah. 1-800-SEX-ON-ME. Yeah. We got to get him in the studio. I know. I've tried to reach out. He doesn't have any contact info. His numbers are fucking up there now.

I know. He's flying. Way to go kids yeah good job kids love you um yeah that's such a funny old music idea have you visited our faq page at www.sexonme.com www.comingalloverme.com, your expected wait time is seven minutes. Seven minutes. Sex on me.

Dude, all the people just like, fucking yes. Some old lady. That would rival. It'd be a tough one. We should do a remix of those two. I love it. Okay, so we got the, yeah, you're either driving this ice cream truck or you're getting hit by this ice cream truck.

I mean, one's embarrassing. Like, you have to, like, you, at the end of the day, you're a guy juggling tennis balls riding a unicycle. Like, you take away getting hit by an illegal immigrant in an ice cream truck, you're already a disappointment. Really?

What if you got a sponsorship or something? By who? Wilson Tennis Balls. Yeah. Fucking Toys R Us. Yeah. Well, what's a brand that makes unicycles? Is there multiple unicycle makers?

I feel like there's got to be a monopoly. One company making all unicycles. I guess a rival unicycle gang? Like they're trying to talk shit, but they have to keep balancing back and forth? Oh, yeah. Imagine like a rap battle. Two guys on unicycles. In an alley, just fucking wheeling up.

And then they're standing there like hey heard what you said about my sister and they're going back and forth I don't think that's very funny

and they're just fucking and the guy in the back guy in the back wheels up a little bit yeah I don't think it's very funny and then he wheels back and has to keep balancing And the guy in the back wheels up a little bit. Yeah, I don't think it's very funny. And then he wheels back.

They keep balancing. What's that, a huffy? And they're laughing and the whole group's wobbling, just keeping their balance. Yeah, it's like the Michael Jackson video. The beat it or bad. He's got the crew behind him. It's just like that. One dude dude staring to do staring each other in a group of guys behind

In rhythm you see when people have to turn on a unicycle and they're like I'll meet you back here tomorrow same time. Oh looking forward to it and they're circling around each other but fucking doing like the the fucking the swingy arm thing to make the wheel turn oh you know there's whenever there's a battle

it's all intense and they are yeah it's like half all the the fucking unicycles going around like a circle pit

two guys in the middle one guy the switchblades one guy in the back he's new he's a rookie i'm not sure what the unicycle gang rookie term is but he's new and his he's been patched in yet yeah and his pedals squeak a little bit so he's like trying to talk shit in the background like god damn it he's just like the leader's like fuck jeff it's from wd-40 i know i meant to put it on there my i couldn't like i looked in the garage my grandma said squeak squeak there'd be some wd-40 i couldn't find it squeak squeak anything

anything that's that's so goofy like that trying to be badass is funny it's always a good time but you but you had you run the risk of dying you're getting hit by a fucking ice cream truck now the would you rather did not set up how fast the ice cream truck was going but i'm assuming the ice cream truck's not on a freeway no it's probably in a park it's a residential park is a bad spot for an ice cream truck yeah parking lot would be great well like so we have a park by our house and it there for an ice cream truck yeah parking lot would be great well like so we have a park by our house and it there's an ice cream truck that drives around the park yeah i guess how funny would that be it's just like trying to play like some kickball and just fucking

into the fucking baseball diamond. Rocket Pops! Ice cream sandwiches! But super faded. And then, yeah, so then you get hit, and you run out and check on the person. It's still going. Is he okay? Shut the fucking music off.

What? What are some other songs ice cream trucks play? There's some other ones in there. Who knows? Doesn't matter. When the sand is marching in, do they play that one? Do they play the circus song? Please buy a sandwich.

Please buy a sandwich. that makes sense with the unis the unicycle the circus unicycle yeah so let's let's just go residential speed you're getting hit 25 miles an hour and then depending on how things go the entertainers playing in the background as you lay next to a bunch of tennis balls in your unicycle. And a guy comes out and he's like, bueno? Like, you know, you know, immigrant? Yeah. Yo bueno?

Or how do you say you? Estás bien? Estás bien? Estás bien? Here? And he's like, whatever. Aquí? And he hands you an ice cream sandwich and you're like, what the fuck is happening?

Put that on your ankle. Yeah, put that on your ankle. No, but it's La Cucaracha. Oh, okay. Because he's a little Mexican kid. Okay. I don't know. But you're going to get in so much trouble. Well, yeah.

So if you're the illegal immigrant, you are getting deported. Or running. Like you're going to have to make it to the border in an ice cream truck? Just some fucking, oh my God, what a day that would be. You're a border guard and you're standing there and you're looking down a freeway. And you get your binoculars out and you're just looking and very faintly just that you can't shut it off the faster you go the faster the song goes yeah you slam the brain you're going 80. It's like... Well, it depends on which border you're trying to get to.

The Canadian border is a couple hours above us. But if you're trying to get back down to the Mexico border, that's where as far as it gets. It's going to be gas money. Dude, imagine OJ Simpson. The scene of OJ Simpson in the Bronco with all the cop cars. And now picture that same scene with a, the helicopter following it.

Just hear it. The background. I think, I mean, just because even if I die and I get, I don't, you're not going to get any money. I mean, how much money are you getting out of this situation? So me personally, if I die juggling tennis balls and riding a unicycle, what are the chances that my family will get any money? I'll just be dead.

Because 25, I mean, that's some speed. And you're on a fucking unicycle. And you're not looking, I mean, how good am I juggling? I feel like there's a decent chance you'd live. If they hit you and you fly off, but if he keeps going and you're getting run

over and stuff too, that's a whole other thing. Zach, do you have any thoughts on this? Yeah, I'd rather drive the ice cream truck. And just take the trouble? I mean, get caught, go to jail for whatever they they just let you out immediately they're like we were waiting for someone to hit that fucking guy yeah i'm sick of jugglers fucking god dude i've been trying finding i mean i've been digging deep to find any dirt on this tennis ball juggling motherfucker he got kicked out of clown college for a reason he's not he's got to give it up my

kids into unicycles because of this fucking asshole. Maybe you're a government plant. So they're like, yeah, well, we can just blame it on him being an illegal immigrant. And they give you some cash, send you back home. And put you in jail. No, you don't get to go to jail. Because they were trying to take out this unicycle juggler guy. Matricity.

Yeah, they're like, we can't get rid of this guy. Let's menace the society. Just riding around, keeping everybody up. Hey! Squeak! Squeak! Squeak! Check out this new juggling trick! Tennis ball noises. Fuck, drop one! You know the movies when someone

would be like, there's like a triumphant thing where they're walking down the street and then some guy looks out the window. He's like, oh, cool. Guy's juggling. He comes out, starts juggling. And then there's a crowd of people behind you all. So now, yeah. So that's what this guy does.

It's like Forrest Gump. He's just like a group of full of some kids on bikes, some kids on skateboards. Yeah. You're the reason I do what I do. Yeah, keep it up kid. Yep He's where he's ripping through town and you got kids on skateboards rollerblades They're all feeling like they're part of something now movie saw would be a lot less scary Yeah, it's guy coming in fucking dressed up in makeup on a unicycle and juggling Want to play a game?

Want to play a game? Want to learn how to juggle? Buy my book. There are 50,000 needles. 50,000 needles. Can you hand me that tennis ball? Fuck, I always drop one when I do this. It's so hard to talk and juggle.

But he says it like that. It's so hard to talk and juggle. You have no idea how long it took to master this just this watch does the one trick you're taking your chain to a toilet he's like you like that he's bouncing off your forehead while you're sitting on the toilet it's your choice you can saw your own foot off or you can learn how to juggle and you're just like, these guys are like, where's the saw? Come on, it's not that hard. Here, check out my pamphlet. How to juggle when chained to a toilet.

You're gonna die. Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak. I'm gonna take getting hit. I just don't want to get in trouble with the chances of going to jail. I'm just gonna be juggling on a unicycle and hope I survive. Hope I get a nice bounce off the windshield.

I don't know. A friendly bounce off the windshield. Yeah. I mean, if you, it means you've dedicated your life to something, you know? I mean, what? Juggling in a unicycle? You can't do that overnight. Not overnight.

How long did it take you to juggle? A month. When you learned? A month. With 10 minutes at night. When I'm fucking exhausted. Yeah. So, I mean, come on.

Can you ride a unicycle? No, but I've never really tried. My dad was really good at it. He could juggle and ride a unicycle. Now that I think about it. He was just trying to find it find a start a family circus yeah and i'm like no thanks goddamn kid won't follow follow paul in his footsteps no thanks but check out these power chords he passed his unicycle down to you right yeah he had like a

monster one haven't we talked about this It was one of the giant ones. Huge. Like the tire was fucking giant. He would ride it for fucking 15 miles. Like one of those tricycles from the old days. Like Tony's with the huge tire. We'd be like, I think we built this backwards. We should probably. He's like, no, no, no.

This is perfect. This is perfect. It looks ridiculous. I don't care. I'm going to take it and hit. I'm going to take it and hit. Just because I guess I feel like you're 100% trying to run for law enforcement. If I'm an illegal immigrant, no ice cream truck is out.

And it doesn't have to be south of the border. It could be north of the border. It could be from anywhere. It could be from Beirut. That sounds like a lonely life. But God, you have so many ice cream sandwiches. Yeah, it's true. But God, I'm so lonely. Then you look over, you have so many ice cream sandwiches. Yeah, it's true.

But God, I'm so lonely. Then you look over at your giant box of ice cream sandwiches. You're like, but I'm okay. I mean, if I'm going to get hit by something. Because he laid down on some rocket pops. It could be worse. It could always be worse. If I'm going to get hit by something, something that's frozen, having something that's frozen would be ideal.

So if I'm juggling, I get hit, at least until the ambulance shows up or something. You just sit in the freezer. So many ice packs? Yeah. Yeah. Given you can get up, but yeah. Well, hopefully the guy would stick around and help you out, even though he's illegal. See, that's tough.

He's going to run. God damn, he's going to run. He's been running his whole life. Well, all the kids would come over and steal all the ice cream. Now, making's tough. He's going to run. Oh, god damn, he's going to run. He's been running his whole life. Well, all the kids would come over and steal all the ice cream. Now, making another movie. I'll be the juggler. Okay. Two jugglers and an illegal immigrant driving an ice cream truck.

We could play this thing out in real life with these decisions. Yeah, we could. All right, let's move off to what are you thinking about? Okay. Zach! Hey. Hey, what's up, babe? What are you thinking about You know nothing

Actually you know what I'm thinking about a lot of shit What are you thinking about One last little scene I have in my head Is like a bunch of people waiting outside of a club to get in But one person's on a fucking unicycle Keeps running into your legs Bumping your legs You're already pissed you've been in line for

an hour and he's just behind you he's like sorry sorry sorry sorry all right sorry sorry about that just always forward and back just out this fucking guy this is why i don't go out this that image is so funny of someone just like having to balance keeping their balance stay still sir getting his mug shot but he's fucking just nothing blurry photos yeah photo? Yeah, it's blurry. Please, I can't. I'm on a unicycle. Alright, okay. So this, what are you thinking about is stemming from a conversation I had with Cassie

a couple days ago. She was traveling for work and she had like a stuffy nose. Right? And she was in the airport and we were talking about like snot and she had to blow her nose Did she have a tummy ache too? No

No tummy ache Did she have a tiny nose? Did she have a woody tummy When you meet me? That's how I used to talk to her Whenever she's sick She's like Joe

We got big now God damn it We got some big things to do today Do you Do you What do we have to do today? What do we have to do Put on your little pants?

I She was traveling And then we were talking about How just obnoxious blowing your nose is. Like, it really is. Yeah. When you got a real good one. Like a sinus infection, or it's just goopy?

It's a fucking trumpet on your face. Nice. First try. Fuck yeah. Never heard the first try. I love a good elephant noise. And we were just like uh like how annoying that is how annoying it is to everyone else it's like coughing like everyone looks at

you like i don't fucking come around me sicko don't get me sick you fucking ass especially covid oh yeah post-covid world with some sneezes anybody coughs go oh my goodness sneezes christ nice thanks sneezes h sneezes h christ i and then and i was like oh what we should have done is pack for you one of those baby booger bulbs you know talking about the booger baby baby bubble they're typically blue yeah and they come in different sizes oh yeah uh and before you're like a turkey baster but for a nose for a nose before your kids can blow their nose you shove that little thing up there and just go and suck it out yeah and that's awesome and then as we were talking about that she goes that'd be you know that'd be cool that'd be great that would i wouldn't have to blow my nose it wouldn't be loud obnoxious for everyone waiting for the flight and then i was thinking about that i was like well

why the fuck not it was like why at a age, which for this particular example is as soon as you can blow your nose. So what? One years old. But we just stop using it. Like, it's not really that crazy. Out of all the things, the crazy things that humans do. Why would having a little bulb when you're sick and just be like and suck the boogers out of your nose. And then put it away. What's even grosser and is acceptable is a fucking hanky

that you blow your boogers and put it in your pocket and then reuse it and pull it back out and peel it apart like a fucking grilled cheese sandwich. And then some people ask, they're like, oh, you're using my hanky. May I use your hanky?

Yeah, I'm going to use your fucking snot rag and everyone just blow and then give it back and you're like thanks and you shove it in your fucking flannel pocket it's i mean it's gross but having a little bulb that would suck your boogers out totally practical right yeah so why don't but you'd look ridiculous using it you're, just blow your nose, you baby. And then this got me thinking about that topic. And then I started thinking about bibs. Like, at some point, no one likes having food on their clothes, right? Yeah. No one's pumped about it.

Like, you drop some spaghetti down. You're like, oh, shit. And you're like, oh, I was hoping I could fucking ruin this shirt today. This is great. But at some point, outside of some gimmick at Red Lobster, where you get a plastic bib,

and they're like, oh, you can eat, and you're like, got crabs? Everyone got their bibs on for Fuckfest, for Lobster Fuckfest 2024? BYO Butter?

Let's fucking go, kids! Like, outside of some gimmick Like bibs are not acceptable What if you brought your own bib Is this BYOB They're gonna put it on you And you're like no no no I got it And you put on your own bib

This is not my first rodeo It's not my first lobster fuckfest It's not my first lobster fuckfest You don't recognize me Come on It's Joe It's Joe the Lobster Guy. Look at his face.

You do like some lobster hand thing. Oh, yeah. Sir, Captain Lobster Hands. Who do you think you are? Are you? Start pinching him. You'll remember me next year. You'll remember me next time.

2025 Lobster Fuck Fest. Remember me. But bibs, why not? It's really not that crazy. 2025 remember me and uh but bibs why not it's really not that crazy love it you get older

and you have to you evolve and you upgrade quotations to a napkin on your lap because how's that gonna help

your shirt it's not that's what I'm fucking getting at like they totally should be fine bibs should be a part of life because why not can you don't bibs should be a part of life because why

not can you don't bibs available in the merch store soon can you don't get my shirt dirty well why stop there so diapers so many things that you use as a baby we just stop using like i don't want to walk around in my own shit but the idea of like like, oh, crap, I just sharted. Oh, crap. No, that's fine. Yeah. Because I just take this diaper off. Because I got a safety net. Yeah. Uh-huh. And it's not something you're like, nah, I'm wearing a diaper. No one wants poop in their pants. Yeah, you're not just going to be like, oh, I could go to the bathroom

and I'm just going to shit right here. That's not what I'm talking about. But if it happens, you know you're covered. You're covered. You're safe. It's scented. Maybe there's like a little rosy, whatever. Keep going. I like what you're saying. Smell.

I like what it is. I wanted to say hue, but like whatever hue would be like for smell. Aroma. Aroma. Aroma. There it is. That's the word. Thank you.

That's the word I was looking for. So you poop a little bit and it's like, did you poop or is that? Did you poop or put on perfume? Yeah. Like, no, those are my new, check out the new Wranglers. That's the commercial right there. Yep. First date.

He's like, did you poop or did you put on perfume? Wranglers! Rose aroma! Hug your. This ain't my first rodeo. Smell great. Hug your ass. Taste better.

What? Huh? Huh? I don't know. Yeah! Yeah! We're just yelling stuff. Yeah, so we're three for three right there.

I think so. And that's all baby stuff. Let's just keep it a lot. Okay. I mean, we, okay, we, once you become an old, you're like a big baby, right? Mm-hmm. You start wearing diapers again. Why don't, why do we stop doing that?

I don't know. I don't know what to. We're trying to, we're trying to impress somebody. who am i who am i trying to impress my my wife makes fun of me already because i every time i we sit down to eat i spill something on my shirt yep every fucking time not not a joke that's not exaggeration i mean even the the bibs that catch the food yeah they have a little pocket and you just dump it in there. Those are so funny. Those are so funny.

I mean, just a collection dish. Yeah. And babies wear them. Yeah. Well, the thing about all the food they're wasting, dropping it on the floor, dogs getting it. I do like the idea of, what was I going to say? Having two eyes that are fully open. I love that.

I love when that happens. Dude, I love the idea. Why, when you get older, why does your left eye get swollen and close? I know, I know people can, uh, I know people can relate to this. You know, when you, um, when something like this happens and you're like dealing with it and then you, you take for granted like Just your eyes being normal And then when they get back to normal

Or anything it's like Fuck you feel that relief When you come out of it You just take for granted that your eyes just work Were normal things for a bit And now they're not But I was going to say something about The napkins I think I don't remember what I was going to say something about the napkins, I think.

I don't remember what I was going to say. Was it sporks? Oh, yeah. Because that's what it should be. Yeah, sporks. Fucking great invention. But if you have a metal spork in your home kitchen drawer, you're looking a little crazy. Can we normalize sporks?

Normalize sporks. Is there a politician that's pushing for this you got my vote so how many times have you eaten something politician you want to vote for aligns with everything except for sports yeah when you're like nope next that's like his platform is anti-spork you're like god he's just he's smart he's he has He's like, I'm going to limit taxes. It's going to be for the people. People do whatever they want. We'll keep religion out of politics. But fuck sporks.

And you're like, fuck you. I'm voting for the other guy. And he just gets assassinated by a guy with sporks. With a spork. Just stabs him to death. Kills you and can scoop your guts. That's right. Without switching hands.

I mean, that's the thing. Have you ever had a meal where, let's say you're eating... A thick soup. Yeah, I was going to where, let's say you're eating a thick soup. Yeah, I was gonna say, let's say you're having a meal and you have soup and you have spaghetti or, I don't know, something. A brick. Or something that you need to poke with. Meat. Some sort of a meat.

What? Is there a spork with a sharp edge? It'd be a knife. A knife spork. A spife. Well, I would be a little bit Worried that you'd go And cut your Side of your lips But Let's

We can get into that But the spork So it's like Let's say you're having Don't put a knife in your mouth You're gonna have steak Mashed potatoes And clam chowder

It's just For example You can poke You can poke the steak You can cut it with your knife Whatever You can You can take the bite You can cut it with your knife whatever you can you can take the bite you can and then you you can scoop some mashed potatoes and you can you can

get a bite of soup and you don't have to have three however they you know the fucking rich people how they have like three forks for salad yeah the first one's for for air like the first one no one uses it just sits there so someone can take it away? Yeah. Like, oh, you didn't use this one. What a waste. No one does. Think of all the metal and stainless steel we could keep if we just made sporks. The water wasted cleaning. Fucking just, yeah.

No, I'm with you. I'm with you. All right. And then this little thought train, just skipping over all these different things down the middle it came to the biggest one that i think that we are dropping the ball on as the human race is shoelaces yep yeah we are so far past shoelaces what are you wearing uh some slippers some slip-ons no shoelaces though and i get it like there's some normalcy you have uh i don't know familiarity and you're used to a shoe looking a certain way but how long are we just going to pretend like velcro doesn't exist when you just

you love lacing up some shoes i love it when my shoes come undone when i'm walking oh your kids oh my god it's so much fun to kneel down and tie my kid's shoes on the sidewalk when we're in a hurry to get on the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland. You know what? The best part about that is, and so if you don't want to have to stop and tie your kid's shoe, you double knot it. But then at the end of the day, when it's time to take your shoes off, they're ripping at it, and then they're making the knot even tighter. Now you're spending half the time untying the shoe just so you can retie it. And here we are. I could be teaching my kids so many things.

I could use that time to teach them to read, to write. To make fun of shoelaces. To become little comedians. Little shoe comedians. And I'm all in on this one. Because I'm a, I got slip-ons. You got the Vans. You know, like, just throw them on and go. All the time you would save not having to fucking teach your kid to tie their shoes.

It's like, well, what about dress shoes? It's like, who cares? Velcro. And I know Velcro is a brand. What's the hook and something? There's a different name for it. Velcro is like Kleenex. I've never heard of any other than calling it Velcro.

Like the invention. Hook and loop or something? Yeah, something like that. Yeah, hook and loop or blah, blah, blah. No wonder no one says that. They're like, how about Velcro? No, it's hook and loop. You got your hook and loop shoes on?

Sounds like you're heading out to fish. I'd buy that shit. Or go fucking ride a unicycle. No, it sounds like a cereal. I'll have some hook and loops. He's great. Honey, what's wrong? You barely touched your hook and loops. Well, I'm just not hungry. How come you can't get velcro we just don't have it's like it's not in the budget right now kirkland brand

what was that oh frosted flakes and then uh there's like there was one for no there was uh so fruit loops and then i'm not sure if it exists anymore, but there was a generic brand that was Loops of Fruit. This shit fucking killed me. Frosted Flakes. It's like flakes that are frosted. They probably got sued and they're like, all right, I better actually come up with a name. It's too close.

Yeah. Cheerios. It's like Cheerios. Cheerios. Yeah, it's like an I. Oh, oh, oh. Cheerios. Cheerioi. Cheerioi. But, yeah. cheerio it's like an i o cheerios uh cheerio cheerio but yeah so velcro these shoelaces go just fuck out of here yeah it makes we're so far past it i mean it's just the world moves on and i

get it looks one way and the best analogy i can have and i'll move off to dick here because we've been just harping all all start of the here. But it's like a guitar. Okay. And I have this kind of prejudice against this too, just because of being raised with a certain shape of guitar. It doesn't have to be shaped that way at all. And I get it. So you have a shoe and you're like, where are the shoelaces? Oh, you're talking about a headstock?

Yeah. If you cut the tuning knobs off or even if you take it and you cut it into a square, or it's a circle, like Prince's guitar, I look at it and I'm like, no. I was like, that's not a guitar, it's fucking stupid. Just put it away. This is so dumb.

But it's the same fucking thing! And you can pack it easier. The ones, they fold up, or it's a tiny little thing. But there's so many different ways to do it, but you're just so used to seeing it look

a certain way that you see it in a different cut or shape. And if it's too far of a deviant from what you're used to, then you're like,

fuck that. Well, headstocks are kind of iconic. Yeah. Because some guitar designers, they make a certain, whether it's a V or a fucking

BC Rich hook or just that, the point, like, you know, it's just you're used to that. The whole, like, the sweep, the body of a guitar,

electric guitar, acoustic guitar, you know what it looks like. If you turn that into a fucking rhombus. Like, what if your acoustic sitting right there didn't have the headstock

with tuning knobs? Yeah, and then the body was shaped like a pyramid, but it sounded better than that guitar It still be like I'm not buying that. Yeah, it's like that's a toy. Well, it just doesn't work I don't know so I get it but velcro so much better. It's tighter. It doesn't come undone Everybody can use it from infant to 95 years old Do you realize what this all ties back into this is all kids stuff that we just gave up on to prove that we're adults yeah but i can tie my shoes i'm not in fucking kindergarten you know i mean like i don't need a bib yeah you do your shirt's a mess just wear a bib oh i mean you're probably right but but i

don't look like a fucking idiot well you look like an idiot with fucking spaghetti yeah spaghetti yeah spaghetti sauce that looks like Louisiana on your shirt. Dude, that's a good shape. You know what I mean? Yeah. Okay, that's enough on that. Let's take a look at some dick. Okay.

Let's grab it. Let's choke it. Let's throttle it. Is it dumb? Is it interesting? Is it cool? Then it's dick. Dick.

When I first came across this article, Interesting. Is it cool? Then it's dick dick. Blah, blah, blah. When I first came across this article, it just intrigued me, but I wasn't sure if it was going to be what I was looking for. And then the more I read, I was like, this is exactly what I'm looking for. So the headline reads, Cowboys wrangle escaped cows on the loose for two years. That's a long time on the loose. And two cows were driving ice cream trucks. Yeah, I was going to say, they were on the run.

They were trying to make it to the border. So, here we go. Two escaped cows have been causing big problems on an Oklahoma woman's property. It's been going on for two years now. That's a long time for some cows to be up to no good. The cows first got loose after a trailer accident back in 2022.

They're treating it like a prison bus crashed. And these cows ran out of there with shackles on their udders. They're in a chain gang, but it's just by their udders. It's utterly impossible to get out of there with shackles on their udders. They're in a chain gang, but it's just by their udders. It's utterly impossible to get out of these. We've got to figure out how to remove these. The two cows were finally caught

after cowboys and their dogs chased them for nearly 20 miles. Oh my God. Oh man, after multiple attempts. They couldn't wrangle them in in 20 miles? Not out the gate. These were different species of cow. That's not a good cowboy.

Mm-hmm. But you'll see why. After multiple attempts by sheriff deputies to wrangle the cows in Brenda Stapleton's yard in neighborhood, authorities told her she was going to have to hire professional cowboys. Mm-hmm. Yep. 1-800-YAH! 1-800-YEE-HOW 1-800-YAH 1-800-COWCATCHER

1-800-COWCATCHER 1-800-COWCATCHER For a professional cowboy, say For all of our inquiries, stay on the phone. I'm a lion. I'm a lion. I understand full sentences. I understand full sentences.

For a professional cowboy, say. If you can't do that, press one. Someone's going. You sound like an idiot. Yeah. Sorry, I didn't get that. I didn't get that. You sound like an idiot. Yeah. Did you say that? I didn't get that. For a professional cowboy, say, get along, little doggy.

So Brenda's response to being told, motherfucker. So she was told she had to hire some professional cowboys. And then her response was, who's got money for that? It shouldn't be my responsibility to do that. They're her cows, aren't they? No. These cows are felons. Oh, yeah.

They're on her land. Yeah. They're encroaching. For two years, the cows would come into Stapleton's yard, leave a mess. This is my favorite part. Cause damage and even get right up to her window the slider like a little screen door she hasn't brenda she thinks that things have turned around the cows have moved on right and she's like oh two weeks and she she's like i haven't seen the

cows in two weeks she goes out there She makes a little fucking cup of coffee. Goes to the dining room and, you know, pulls the windows up. The fucking cows are just right there. Standing there. God damn it! Just fucking shit on her porch. And then run away together because their udders are still fucking handcuffed. Oh my God.

You can do this till the cows come home. Just looking in the windows. So anyway, they showed up and caught the cows. But just what a funny, it seems like such a simple thing that should have been able to be handled in what, a couple hours? Yeah, you think. Because they're fucking cows? Yeah. What, the smartest cows ever?

Impossible cows? You get it? the smartest cows ever? Impossible cows? You get it? They're, cows are herded. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's what, you know. They're looking for a leader. Yeah.

The dogs could do it. Yeah, no, they tried. But two years. That's way too long. Brenda kind of liked them. How would you not? I don't know. How would you not? I don't know. How would you not like a couple of cows coming up on your...

If cows wandered up to my house, I would welcome them with open udders. I would snip their little udder handcuffs. Yeah, get the little chains off there. Come here, guys. Come here, Betsy. They'll walk in the street and just get plowed over by an ice cream truck yeah come here you can make ice cream with the fucking milk you got from the cows she ruined a good opportunity yeah she did she had free milk yep and she was like i'm gonna call professional cowboy hotline 1-800-CHAAAA 1-800-COME-ON-NOW! Come on now, big boots!

1-800-CHAP-GUY! 1-800-CHAPS? These cowboys are trying to find something that fits. I don't know, 1-800-CHOOSE-BIT? They're sitting around trying to think of their motto. 1-800-BUD-LIGHT? 1-800-MOUNTAIN? No.

That's taken. God damn. I'm trying to pick a username on Reddit. Yeah. Like, what's the most obscure thing I could think of? 1-800-UTTER-KETCHER. Utter Ketcher. Milk and fuck it.

9-7-3-8. Already taken. That's already taken. Son of a bitch. God damn it. Just put posters up. I know. From trying to get like an Xbox handle.

I know what that's all about. That's why I'm so proud of, I'm not going to say it because I don't want to get my kids playing, but I want to say mine on the air, but it's super short because I've had it since the beginning of time. It doesn't have to be capital letters, backwards threes, fucking 012 to make some word. It's just fucking straight up one word, make some word uh it's just a fucking straight up one word short word and it's mine it's just joe isn't it yeah just joe that someone has that probably oh yeah back in the day they didn't have any like requirements for how long something had to be

um but i imagine like fielding that call when brend she's what, a year and 10 months into this shit? And she goes, I'm just- That's it. I've had it up to here with these fucking cows. What happened? These cows, how long ago did this happen? Fuck, fucking 2022? They've been here the whole time?

They've been like, hey! Yeah, Rick! Oh, man. All right, you want to take a look at this next dick yeah sure fucking take a peek see if you can milk all right see if i can milk this story for as long as until the cows come home uh firefighter impersonator with garden hose arrested after refusing to leave fire scene you don't think I know what I'm doing? What are you doing?

Well, you know what you're doing. A man impersonating a firefighter and trying to put out a fire with a garden hose was arrested after refusing to let firefighters do their job. Which is also funny to think about. Put it down! We're trying to do our job! This is what tax dollars... Just a maniac with a garden hose slapping firefighters no it's too big he's doing the thumb he's kicking them put your hose down i got it he's trying to get her over you quit stepping on my garden hose i can put this get out my fucking house this water pressure goes down a ton when they hook up the fire hoses.

Your hoses are too big! Ow! Stop it! Oh, God, this picture of this guy. Yeah, he looks like a guy that would be... He looks like... He looks like... His eyes look like both of my left eyes right now.

Yeah, he looks like... Yeah. Wait, let's see. Can you... No, I didn't. Can you do that? That's what... That's Colin.

Oh, fuck, dude. I was trying to's Colin. Fuck, dude. I was trying to put it on fire. What happened? I was fucking putting it on fire or whatever, and then all of a sudden I'm in here with a new shirt. Standing next to a ruler. Standing next to a ruler. That's crazy. Is the fire out?

So did they. So did I do it? My fellow firefighters put it out? Am I hired or am I fired? I did fire. You guys got any fucking Twinkies? I don't get it. High people eat food.

Oh, okay. Is there more to this story? Yes! There's more to it. Where the hell did it go? Okay. Okay. Morganton firefighters began to put out the fire

However, they said the neighbor refused to leave or allow fighters to begin their work. Mm-hmm. Did I miss? Nope. Just keep going You got it. Wait, hold on when firefighters first arrived They said the neighbor was on the scene dressed in FDNY fire gear and trying to put out the fire with a garden hose No boys, I got her. You guys want to see my badge? It's a real hat. It's like the little plastic red one that kids get. Junior officer?

Yeah, the little sticker badge. Honorary junior firefighter? With like that plastic super bendy hat that kids get? It's official. It's like the outfit he's wearing is super small. It's just for a kid. He's just busting out of it. Fucking dick out. Wearing rain boots.

Yeah, like red, the red rainbow boots. My kids have a little firefighter suit. They have the plastic hat and a cape. That's what I'm picturing. It's like a little cape with a plastic badge that's like stuck on his shirt. I don't know why this was funny.

Hey guys, welcome. Glad you guys can make it. Yeah, yeah. But you guys, rest easy. And he's putting his thumb over the end of the garden hose. He's like, watch how far I can shoot it. He pushes. He's doing like his lip or his tongue in his lip.

He's like, watch. He's like flexing a little bit. It's like. The harder you squeeze your thumb, the farther the water goes. Look, I can make two streams. Like, sir, please get out of the fucking way. The house is just fully engulfed. It's just like it's's a fucking three story mansion.

And he's out there. Look how far I can shoot it. It's going 15 feet. No, but I was saying for whatever reason, he has one of those, those like puffy bags. Oh yeah. Yeah. He has that like on a holster. Like what the fuck are you doing out here?

And one of those little like log pokers. I'll take it from here guys. I'll take it from here i'll take it from here i got it he's like what are you gonna do you're gonna take your ass to fucking jail but look what he got charged with seems a little harsh okay after multiple commands law units responded and took christopher uh morgan whatever into custody Meglino was charged with the following Resist Delay obstruct public Officer that's weird Sentence impersonating a Firefighter slash medical Personnel city ordinance

Violation obedience to fire Personnel Meglino did not Receive a bond since he was Currently on a Pre-trial release. I know how to win the jury over. Did it say what he was on the trial before? He was impersonating being a carpenter.

Police officer. Being a carpenter that built the... He was being a fire inspector. He's got all these kids' costumes in his closet. Impersonating a Harry Potter You're like This had to have been a wild scene to get these charges Cause normally, I mean it just feels like

the firefighters would be like Just knock him over Shoot him with the hose I'll take it from here, you fucking take nothing Yeah, what did this guy do? Stuff like this. It's like, I wish, I wish there was a body cam or I wish there was something. Something's being omitted.

I want to see exactly what happened. Reminds me of the, the, it was, I mean, it was a while ago now that I remember when I saw that fight downtown and then the opposite. I need to get all angles. Except yours. He's like, I got to make all good guys just want to, you know, do my due diligence. And he gets his notepad out and I start telling him my story. And then as soon as I started talking about it, I was like, I don't think you guys had to push him over when he was handcuffed.

He flipped his notebook closed. I just love that visual. He's like, all right, tell me, tell me everything you can. You shouldn't have done that. Flip. I think we're done here. He's got to want to leave anything out. Every detail matters in these situations.

I was like, well, I don't think you should have done that. He's like, all right, you have a good day. And clicks his pen and puts it away. He gets fucking fucked me, right? Puts his pen back in his pocket. Gives me a junior badge sticker. So I guess we're done here deputy puts a fake firefighter hat on me

good luck all right thanks for all your help but something must have happened we're not getting the full story well it says resist and delay so i'm wondering if like he's spraying him with water yeah like he's the firefighters trying to do their job oh man what a scene i don't know only there's only a what probably 10 people that know exactly how this went down all right all right let's head off to petty beef this week silence in the court you are now entering the petty beef courtroom where all sides of some bullshit will be heard and evaluated. The people are real. The cases are real.

The rulings are final-ish. This is Petty Beef. I never really watched the video before since we made that. Yeah. But the hand shaking in that video. So good. It was like, who shakes hands like that? Rubber arm. Couple McGillicuddy. Couple Stretch Armstrongs making a business move. Who shakes hands like that?

Rubber arm. A couple McGillicuddy. A couple Stretch Armstrongs making a business move. So, I mean, we have fun every week. Today's episode feels extra fun. It does feel extra fun. So our petty beef for this week was bravely sent in by our son Bart, who writes... I'm not going to call you daddy or anything like that because I'm older than you. I don't think my mom would fuck any of you.

Challenge accepted. Yeah. But I've been thinking about how women say that they have a higher tolerance of pain just because they give birth. In my experience, that is a lie! Just for some context, my wife had a sliver in her finger, and he thought that it was the end of the world. She was whining and crying about the pain, about having to dig it out. If I had a sliver, I would dig it out with a dirty-ass pocket knife, wrap some duct tape around it or whatever I had on hand, and get back to work. Another example is if we're working on the house or anything and both hit our thumbs with a hammer while setting a nail,

a woman would most likely give up and quit working right away while being, while being me, I would keep hammering away, probably hitting my thumb 20 or more or less times. Say fuck every time and finish the project. Fucking nail. God damn it. Oh,

it's a classic story. Classic stale story of my dad when just standing outside the garage and you'd hear him scream something and then the next noise was that thing hitting the wall and it was so fun fucking hammer and then oh fucking stool. Guys get so fucking pissed when you're working on something. You can't, like, you're trying to unscrew something and it won't move. Fuck.

Oh. Sweaty. And most of the sweat's from screaming and yelling. Mm-hmm. Fucking super fancy vacuum system that's installed in the garage to make it easy to clean upside off. And then. Fucking throat. And then.

Dad, quit choking yourself. Fucking throat. Okay, anyway. So I'm sure there are many more examples that could be discussed. If we were the ones that had to give birth, I think we would do it right there on the job. Tape that shit up and get back to work because, man, that's what we do. Oh, God. Bart!

We're just picturing going to the doctor to give birth. He's going, rips off some duct tape. Sorry, you're still bleeding. I got to get back to work. He just duct tapes a pussy shut.. Sorry, you're still bleeding. I gotta get back to work. He just duct tapes a pussy shot. All right, you're done. Next. Slap on the butt.

I mean, you guys need a little duct tape for the road? In case that thing comes unglued? Oh, jeez. Okay. I don't want to piss off any women or anything. Yeah. Too late. Should have led with that.

As I love them very much, but I wanted to give you guys some food for thought. If this email is too long, I don't really give a fuck. It was on my mind and wanted to share. It's like, if you didn't have an orgasm, I don't give a fuck. That's your problem. That's your problem for not orgasm. I have an orgasm 100% of the time. Guess who came? I did.

Who do you think you are? I am fucking coming all over your love the show keep up the good work here's a towel clean yourself up three out of five stars you know the rest p.s i just started listening to scat cast and enjoying the shit out of it tell zach that an angus is my spirit animal. Bart. An Angus approves. That's funny. There's a little, I mean, those big landslide things. There's examples everywhere.

It goes back and forth, but sometimes, I mean, they get ingrained in society, right? Whether it's prejudices, stereotypes, whatever it is, they do, they find a way of getting ingrained into our day-to-day lives right like the the one for men is you get sick and then you're useless yeah right and i try not to be that but there's been times where i'm like i'm fucking sick and you almost sense it you know where they're like okay yeah you're not really like no i'm really sick like okay here's some chugging chicken noodle soup let me know when you're let me know when you're better and they fucking tap your head did you need it you want a little fucking blankie yes please yeah i would love a blankie i would love a blankie okay brian oh my god thank you for my blankie you'll be boopy you'll be you'll be upright and be a big boy again soon can i have

them seven up in the blankie and the toopy can you can you put on mickey mouse funhouse for me please can i watch chips but there's times where i've been sick and i've i felt that and then they get sick and it fucking destroys them and i'm like fucking told you yeah see it sucked right yeah and there's been other times where like someone gets your partner your girlfriend wife whatever it is they get sick and you kind of do the same thing back it's you like god damn it like i know you're sick but now i have the fucking kids all day by myself and i don't know what we're gonna do i'm gonna do anything because you're you've opted out of today you knew it was a big day and now you're fucking sick you're opted out of you've opted out i know

you could do that i'll do it next time all right but there's been like those situations but there's a lot of truth in that like women i feel like really do have a better ability to suck it the fuck up yeah you got am i alone on that zach that sounds fair does that sound fair yeah my wife certainly does yeah like really suck it up and i think some of that comes from now this is gonna this is gonna sound bad maybe i shouldn't say it i think that men have a hard time doing something if they can't do it to their best ability i'm not saying that women have a really easy time fucking being half ass fucking humans it's not what i'm implying because they're they're super they're super women all of them like they're just have fucking magical powers but men have a really hard time

if they were already just disabled like we have a memory sucks and we're trying our best all we got is muscles and we can fucking hit that i'm gonna put it in it and i'm gonna fucking fix it and that's all we have that's our drive i'm gonna fuck that and i'm gonna fucking fix it and that's what we're here for i'm gonna kill it i'm gonna kill it i'm gonna fix it i'm gonna fuck it maybe not in that order but i'm gonna do it i gotta get a gold star i so i think we have a hard time like if we're not feeling somewhere near 100 unless like it's hard to to put your effort in and maybe you're just wore down maybe there's a lot of shit that you have going on that you're trying to do i don't fucking know but i know that it goes both ways as far as childbirth goes, thoughts, Brian? Yeah. Would you like to push a baby out your taint?

No. And I've said this before. If men had babies, I probably wouldn't have kids. Nice. Because I just don't see myself going through all that. I do get that. So going to his email, I do think guys are better at certain things. Like we've been in situations where like a lot of times, if I say it's like a crisis

situation, I think a guy will do, can do really well in a crisis. Like, okay, we don't have time to cry. Cause we did this with my wife years ago. We were almost, we were in the middle of a fucking huge river almost getting capsized and she was gonna start crying i'm like nope just wave that towel you know what that does don't fucking cry it doesn't help to scream doesn't help to cry um let's just get out of this then you can cry now that we're safe like you can let it all out but right now is not a good time can i say something real quick yeah just picture you like

you guys are paddling in your stupid raft and she starts crying you're like oh i didn't know this boat ran on tears should i start crying does that make the boat go faster maybe if we both cry you know the water will get higher and we'll float faster pick up your paddle! You fucking baby! You fucking baby! Oh, is this boat powered by tears? I think women... Let me read the tag. You go over to the little tag on the raft.

You're like, always wear life preserver. That's not crying. Fill up... I didn't say anything about fucking tears. Make sure you fill it up to 45 PSI and you like you push on it a little bit you're like looks like it's full

doesn't seem like crying is going to make it fill up no room for tears no room for tears in this boat seems like water in the boat is bad huh keep them in your head put your head on the boat if you want to fucking cry I think women are just better

they're more maternal or whatever we're gonna fucking cry i think uh i think women are just better they have their their uh more um maternal or whatever like so guys if it happens so if i'm building something and i smash my thumb yeah it's gonna fuck it's gonna fucking hurt but i probably would continue on whereas my wife if she did that i don't know what she would do she's pretty fucking tough yeah um but i think so when it's like a family thing i think women they're just better caretakers and they um i think guys are i don't know how i'm trying to say this but like it's it's very so hard from person to person too i mean the other best example I can give, I mean, to Bart's, I guess, side here, Pierce Point. You look at, like, sports, and I've played sports around a lot of women.

Like, the things that are, like, skateboarding and shit like that, the crashes I have taken, and then crashes I've seen, like, girl skateboarders take, and then they're done. And it's like, that happens every time I'm learning a new trick probably 400 times and you just get the fuck up because there's some anger some testosterone you're like you fight through the pain but i mean but there's also women that are way stronger than i am when it comes to pain too yeah like and that's they break their fucking leg and keep playing soccer i don't know if i'd fucking do that probably because i hate soccer my what i've i've been in the room i held i don't hate soccer don't send emails I'd fucking do that. Probably because I hate soccer. I've been in the room. I held my wife's leg twice during childbirth.

And just seeing how strong she was during that. The way she did it, I know I wouldn't have been that smooth. So it's different. If you want to say, yeah, you smash your finger and you go back to work, if that makes you tougher, if that's the way you see it. But I don't. I see it differently. Like I said, we wouldn't have kids if I had to have kids.

Just because I don't know. That's terrifying to me to fucking something rip out of my body and i just i don't and one time she she after being pregnant she had a hemorrhoids but they like they had they were so bad they were so bad they had to use a like exacto knife and go in there and slice them open and all that shit and i was in the room with her she was way tougher than i would have been during that too like she was just she went in there room with her, she was way tougher than I would have been during that too. Like she was just, she went in there and it fucking hurt, but she did it. Whereas like when I had my surgery done, I had to have them, they had to give me a shot.

So I fucking passed out so they could give me another shot because I didn't want to have to deal with it. So I was like, just put me under when you do it. Cause I don't want to have to deal with it. Yeah. I'm having a hard time finding out where that line is but we're saying the same things like there's self-inflicted pain and it's not for everybody but like if i am doing something that hurts myself right like not having a baby there's a weird it feels like more male reaction where you get so mad the pain goes away right like you fall off a fucking ladder you drop something on your head you smash your leg with the fucking beam of metal and because you did it you fucking pop right up and

you're so fucking mad that you're dumb yeah i think it's a pride thing yeah and you're just like god damn it and he's fucking yeah so i don't i don't know there's less women that have that but i i don't find i don't science says i think it's a weird women have higher pain tolerance i don't fucking know i think it's a weird um male i think it's a weird male pride thing too where um i don't think i think when it comes down to it women they just they just do stuff because it needs to be done whereas like going back to you guys will find a way to not have to well no like what you said about you want it to be perfect or if it's not good enough i think guys have this weird thing like it's that it's got to be i have to i

have to be able to stare back and look at it and be like i did that and like this pride thing where women are like fuck that just get it like i just want it done i don't i don't need the pride thing just fucking get it done so i think childbirth like what would guys do like i didn't i didn't rip my asshole big enough you know like it's nah i'm not satisfied you know like some you're a half-assed baby. And if you had the baby and it turned out to be not bright, I think you'd be like, fucking kid came from me and it's not bright, fucking stupid-ass kid. Don't guys do that? A bunch of terrible dads already do that.

They do, but imagine if they themselves had the baby. I think it'd be even worse. It'd be like, fuck, I'm responsible for that? God damn it. Then you would strangle it. It's fucking tough. I don't know. Zach, do you have any thoughts? I'm thinking about like, this is so dumb, but thinking about having like,

let's say you had a knife right now and you had to. If us three, if you were like, cut yourself. I bet you all three of us could do it some weird thing, I don't know how many girls would be like, I can do it if I was in a group of people where it was like a thing I don't fucking know, but there's plenty that would do it

it's just person to person, it's tough Zach, do you have any thoughts? I don't think women need the credit that guys need I think is what it comes down to I'm trying to say, I think women will just do something because it needs to be done where guys will do something because it There needs to be some sort of recognition about it

And I think women do I think women do a better job of just being behind the scenes and getting shit done I know that like in family situations where you have kids and stuff Moms, just like they're in they're fucking doing all the laundry. They're cooking all they're doing all this shit and then a guy's like you see i'm off the floor you know what i mean like yeah they don't wives aren't looking for recognition there's getting it done that's true my wife does things that i have no idea no idea she's doing and then if she wasn't there you'd be like oh wow why didn't that get done oh shit oh shit the magician leave yeah well i think that has a lot to do with it. Like, it's just... I thought the trash

can people came inside the house and got the trash. So maybe when we're doing something and they get hurt, maybe it's like now it's their chance to fucking just have some pain and deal with it. Or like, maybe we should be consoling them because they fucking hurt themselves because they do

shit behind the scenes all the time. I don't know. Rub some dirt on it. That's a good one, Bart. I'd like to hear everyone's thoughts. If you have them, send them in to heyguysatcandydontpodcast.com. And I guess last thing, it's not fair. I don't think it's a fair comparison because I've heard this a lot, and I think if you just look at it from straight reading that, there's so much more to it than women being tough versus men.

And this type of guy is a construction guy. He's fucking working every day, smashing his fingers and just getting shit done. Yeah. But if you had to fucking push a baby out of your fucking asshole. Nice. Could you? I mean, how else is he going to get out of there? Could you do it? If I had to get it out of there?

I don't have a choice. It's coming out. No, I mean, would you get pregnant? Like, I don't even think I'd want. That would be the way things were. So I guess so, yeah. Because that's the way... Let's say things tomorrow at Switch, like,

biologically... You could have a baby. Biologically, a Switch flipped, and it's like, alright, now men have the babies. Would you do it? I don't think I would. Oh, man. You know when Python, like, eats an alligator? And what that looks like inside its belly? Now I'm picturing that,

but it's a baby coming out of your wiener. Yeah. Like the face is like stretching through and he's like, he's trying to squeeze a baby through your penis. I just really, really quick question. Yeah. If,

like I said, if the, if a switch flipped tomorrow and roles reversed, you're still the same guy. Your, your wife, girlfriend is still the same person. And, but and roles reversed. You're still the same guy. Your wife, girlfriend is still the same person, but your roles flipped. Do you think you could do it?

Yeah, I could do it. Would you want to do it? It would be a big old learning curve. Because I wouldn't. I could do it. I wouldn't want to do all the things that my wife does without. And your wife wouldn't want to do all the things that you do. I think she would have it tougher.

I mean, I think she has it tougher than I do. Yeah. Nice. I might have her listen to this section just so she could appreciate what I'm saying about her. Maybe get a handjob or whatever. Can't say it to her face, so I'm going to say it to a microphone.

Oh, man. Just picturing you having sex with that eyeball right now. Oh. Does that feel good? It looks like something had sex with that eyeball right now oh does it feel good it looks like something like something had sex with it yeah bumblebee uh okay let's move off to some good news ready yeah okay so you're telling me there's a chance hooray we aren't doomed yeah amazing story coming in these are me type me type of people um i'm just gonna

read the read the article so i'll give you a little little paraphrase here because it is a good piece though so if you're interested in in learning more and all the details about this story you can definitely go find it but some byu students threw an annual party for a man they didn't know they never imagined what it would become so these group of high school friends went to college together and the walls were bare right so they went to a thrift store and started buying things to decorate the the apartment i was gonna say they're byu so there's no fucking vodka bottles and no shit littering the there's something and one of the things they bought was his birthday announcement and it's just like a handmade sewed thing that says ty christopher

six pounds 10 ounces march 1st 1991 so on march 1st every year they would throw a party for ty christopher and it showed up it was like you know it was a party and then it just got bigger and bigger and bigger and it was so much fun that this tradition got carried on once they even left the apartment. Oh, that's cool. So it just kept on going

and people would show up and have fun. So the cross stitch featuring the name Ty Christopher, March 1st, 9-1-9-6-9-9-9-9-9-9 hung on the student's wall

throughout the school year and quickly became an inside joke it was our wifi password for a while just ty christopher all lowercase as march 1st approached the students had another idea involving the now beloved cross stitch

so they threw a party and there was like 30-35 people that showed up the students had no idea what they had started and the whole tradition was born the roommates got older, moved out, more people moved in they kept the ty christopher party rolling in more recent years we've done like a white elephant gift exchange around christmas and whoever ends up with the cross stitch frame was responsible for hosting the next birthday party

at one year's party they even did a kahoot or survey where attendants answered made-up trivia questions about ty christopher's life some of them were just like general things and then some of them were super crazy jokes and stuff like that but anyway it goes on and on it kept growing and it got so big they decided that they wanted to try and find ty christopher the real ty christopher find this fella they looked on social media they could not find a Ty Christopher. They looked on the back of the cross stitch and it had like Jill's name or whoever made the cross stitch. Right. But they couldn't find her either. And then things got crazier and crazier.

My brother-in-law, Jackson, he got really into this idea. He's like, I'm going to be the guy that finds Ty Christopher. Tingy sent him Jill's Facebook profile to see if his brother-in-law could do anything about it. Then fortune struck. Lo and behold, as he looks on the page, he has a mutual friend with a lady. And that was so suddenly the case that cracked this back open. The mutual friend was able to get in contact with Jill and connect Tingey and his friends with the woman. I think she was a little bit uh caught

off guard at first and then after kind of sharing the story she was laughing on the phone she's like this is awesome i'd love to help you guys get connected jill told them the real last name they're looking for was nelson but that the family had moved and she hadn't spoken to them since approximately 1991 she made that cross stitch and then they they kicked her out of the family hey yeah they're like this is shit they they it didn't never even made it in the house they went straight to the thrift store with it no one bought it it's been sitting in there since 1991 they hadn't been in contact for at least 30 years but then a day or two later jill calls me back and is like hey i found cheryl we had a great conversation we were able to kind of reconnect here's her phone number

she's eager to hear from you tingy was able to contact uh get connect with ty christopher's mother cheryl and then the birthday boy himself so it goes on and on and at that next year's birthday party everyone got rolling and then fucking ty christopher walked in that's awesome and they didn't announce it he just walked in and everyone just slowly figured out who the fuck this guy was so that that start that god that's so it was originally made in 1991 yep that's crazy yeah and they just went and bought it at a thrift store and they couldn't find this dude and just party just kept going for years and years and years and then they found him and then he just walks in one day and fucking ty birthday boy shows up 30 years so yeah three days later so he was what in his 50s yeah no 91 33 yeah you're 33 oh no oh sorry i thought this happened in 91 that's why jill got

kicked the fuck out of the family because she showed up with the cross stitch fucking 30 years late i was confused i was thinking this happened in 91 so it was 30 years ago that it happened ty graduates from high school and jill hands him a cross stitch from when she was gonna hand it to him when i was when he was born he's like thanks i'll be sure to take this right to goodwill have you heard my friend will he's he's a good guy i'm gonna bring this right down there. He knows exactly what to do with it. He's fucking tossing it in a bin. Fucking Jill.

My friend Will. Will, you throw this away. But everyone was taking pictures of him. Celebrity stuff. But goddamn. That's pretty cool. Woo! Woo!

You got to love that. That's good stuff. When people just keep stuff going. Keep it going. And you don't even know the original thing of it. It's like, well, fuck it. Let's just keep it going. Funny traditions. We've, you know know we talked about the baby jumping not too

long ago but just that was so funny so funny there's so many around the world and little things like this i love hearing those stories um i got something that feels a little bit kind of like a like a lap time but not nearly as as in depth the internet is pretty wild. Depending on your browsing habits, you can either experience something super cool or go to prison. Crazy, right? Let's check it out together as a couple. Hey, look what I found.

Yes, I thought so. Hi, everybody. I mean, probabilities, right? Flip it a coin. 50-50 chance, right? Flipping a coin. 50-50 chance, right? And that's what I always thought. Obviously, if you flip a coin five times, 10 times, 50 times, that probability could be super skewed. But if you just keep on flipping that motherfucker, like eventually it'll be exactly 50-50, right?

A thousand times or some scientists decided to put this to the test and they actually found a little bit of an advantage one way or the other i thought this would be a neat thing to share but scientists toss 350 757 coins to prove theory that coin tosses are not 50-50. Do you believe it? Don't worry. It's not like... What if it came out and it was like fucking 90-10? Yeah.

You're like, what? The NFL are like, oh, shit. We've got to change everything. Yeah, it would. Back to rock, paper, scissors. Could you imagine that in a game? That would be awesome. The captain's out there doing paper on scissors.

The crowd cheers. It's like, go, go. Paper beats scissors! Pussies! Fuck you, Philly! Tails never fails. Tails never fails. So, I'm not much of a gambler.

This is written from the perspective of the guy who wrote it, the writer. I'm not much of a gambler, but I think it's safe to say that 50-50 odds are pretty good. With just as much a chance of winning as there is of you losing, people often rely on 50-50 odds to help make decisions, like deciding whose turn it is to take out the trash, or

whose turn it is to get anal. He didn't write that. This is why I don't work for newspapers. A coin is, or who has to take it tonight? That's all it says. No lube. Crying.

Just raw dog. Who has to get raw dogged in the ass tonight? And just continue on with the article like, I didn't just type that. A coin is often used in these kinds of situations with the theory being that it's an equal chance it'll land on heads as there is that it'll land on tails. As it turns out, however, that's not actually true and it's not due to the case of heads I win, tails you lose.

Classic dad joke. So the revelation comes from a pre-registered study which recorded the results of 350,357 toinkosses toinkosses and suggested that there is in fact a tiny bias involved in flipping results of 350,357 toinkosses toinkosses toinkosses toinkmoppet and suggested that there is in fact

a tiny bias involved in flipping of any coin. The study involved with 48 people who flipped the coin that many times in 46 different currencies or currencies after all the flipping the researchers found that the coins

had a 50.8% chance of landing on the side that it started on. Whoa. Okay? Now, again, some mathematicians out there, and I'm with you, because what if we just double this amount? What if we flip this coin a million times? And we have computers that can do this. Mm-hmm. that has to do with like the how hard you flick it and

the like which part is facing up and whatever I'll read a little bit of it maybe we should start with it on side right you flick it this way so it's down to a theory called the diaconis model that's let me answer I'm going with

where the researchers used to claim that coins are more likely to land facing the same way that they were when the coin toss began. The paper explains, according to the Diaconis model, precision causes, or yeah, precession. Okay. Precession causes the coin to spend more time in the air with the initial side facing up. I'm guessing it must have been some slow-mo footage taken where it spent a little more time that way. But I just thought this would be a neat thing to share. So the next time you're involved in a goddamn coin flip, if you, as long as you guys aren't flipping this thing more than 350,000, 757 times,

if you want a slight advantage on what is believed to be 50-50 odds, look at coin and then say say the side that's facing up whether it's heads or tails well so maybe maybe there it doesn't start with the coin maybe you need to do paper rock scissors to see which way you get to pick which paper rock scissors huh what the fuck did you just say i don't say rock paper scissors oh my god i think that eye is infections i've always said paper rock scissors paper rock sounds better it doesn't sound better no paper scissors how dare you rock paper scissors how dare you paper rock scissors yeah must be that water that sounds like something you could buy a fucking dollar tree get a fucking paper rock scissor it's the cheap version it's the

same fucking words just in a different order I don't like it Why don't you put scissors first Scissor paper rock Scissors paper rock Scissors rock paper Paper rock scissors rolls off the tongue Rock paper scissors

There's a breakup in the flow Rock paper scissors Paper rock scissor Paper rock scissors Scissorsor Scissor? Scissors Paper, rock, scissors But with rock, it's like, there's a k Anytime you put a k in the beginning, it breaks it

Rock, paper, scissors What about fuck you? For saying it that way Does the k in fuck interrupt the u? For saying it that way? Well, because the Q sounds like Q. Fuck you. Fuck you.

So it molds the word. What about fuck off? Fuck off. Yeah. Fuck off. What about fuck the way you say that? Fuck. Fuck off.

I wonder how many people fucking say paper, rock, scissors. Right in. Oh my God. Which way is it? Rock, paper? I was excited to hit episode 100. I'm not sure if we're going to do this. I don't know if we can get over this.

I only hear people say rock, paper, scissors, but when I was a kid, it was, you want to play paper, rock, scissors? So that's how I've always said it. Jeez Louise. Fucking Moses Lake. Just let me say it how I want to say it, you fucking asshole. It's just my opinion, dude. Yeah.

Yeah, well, sometimes your opinion's wrong. What's going on in Moses Lake? I didn't say you're wrong. I know, but I'm just trying to make it way bigger of a deal than it actually is. Because you just my opinion, dude. Yeah. Yeah, well, sometimes your opinion's wrong. What's going on in Moses Lake? I didn't say you're wrong. I know, but I'm just trying to make it way bigger of a deal than it actually is. Because you're a piece of shit. No, I'm a shit piece. I'm disabled right now. Look at my eye.

I'm making fun of a disabled person. Piece of shit. Shit of piece. That's how I say it. You're a shit of piece. You're a shit piece. You're a shit piece of. It means the same thing. You're a shit piece. You're a shit piece of. That means the same thing.

You're of shit piece. Does it? I've never heard anyone say that, dude. God, that's upsetting. I'm going to lose sleep over it. All right, let's hear it from a kid. Wait. Shut it.

Wait. What were we originally talking about? I was making a point. Oh, flipping a coin. Oh, yeah. So maybe you need um so if if you can't trust the coin to be um right you have it feels like you have to do a game to see who gets to choose which way the coin faces now shoot out you know what i mean like you have to there has to be

an unbiased way to get to decide who gets to say it because it's biased. What's it called when you stand with your backs to each other then walk and turn and shoot? Yeah, like a duel. That's how we should start football games. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Fucking Ray Lewis vs. I'd watch a rock, paper, scissors tournament at this point. Rock, paper, scissors

sounds so lame. Paper, rock, scissors. Oh man. I don't give a fuck i know there's some people out there that's that say that have to say it like that and we're uh we're about to find out yeah come on i'll do a little tally okay just for you and if you're wrong i'm not changing the way i say it oh i was gonna say if you're wrong you die no because every time i do it i'll be like oh yeah i'm gonna say rock papers just let me say how i want to say it if you're wrong, you die. No, because every time I do it, I'm going to be like, oh, yeah, I'm going to say rock, paper, scissors. Just let me say how I want to say it.

It's like pronouncing a word wrong. You're like, I don't care. No. I'm trying to think of a word on the spot. It's hard. Restaurant? Restaurant? Restaurant?

You want to head down to the restaurant? God, I can't even not say it right. Yeah, let's head to the restaurant. Okay, that's enough. Zach! Play it! All right, let's hear what you guys think. Really?

You want to talk to me? Wow, that's cool. Will you email Rita? All right. I'm going to strangle youangle you no you know what you strangle when i uh i'll get my gratification when everyone writes in and says that the way i say it is right i'm gonna get my gratification everyone writes in about canceling their patreon membership our first email is coming from our recently liberated daughter mind Mindy, who writes, My son has played baseball for six years now.

I'm not a typical baseball mom, but I wanted to fit in with the other moms so bad. I faked it for years. For a few years. Kind of like with your husband, bro. But I gave up last year, thanks to y'all. During the game last year, I overheard a mom say, I'd say it about a football field anyway. Oh, I'd say about a football field away. I immediately thought of my daddy's. I got so excited. Is she a kid? I looked at her and said, can you don't? She looked at me perplexed and said, excuse me and i realized that she was in fact not a kid and now she thinks i'm rude and don't know proper english kind of like joe i've officially given up uh trying to fit in and now i just go watch my my boy play it's actually kind of freeing thanks guys good much love keep doing what you're

doing please your bipolar daughter mindy that's right you do you you do you fuck yeah yeah i love that and uh because that whole mom thing it's like should i should i make mom friends and then the whole thing like i'm just not i'm not one of those i'll give it one more shot there there are moms that are kids school right now when we first got to that school i remember thinking like where's the cool mom club is there a cool mom club and then there was a there was kind of one and then i was like i don't want to be part of that group like they're fucking lame the the parents that i've befriended like they get they like to joke and talk then the ones that were like the group that you thought you wanted to be part of they're so fucking lame just so fake yeah and just lame care about education and they can't talk like you

can't even have a conversation because they don't have their own thoughts on anything no jokes no jokes just yeah strictly no i talk about the weather all the time yeah they wouldn't play fucking you get there and like oh i thought it was gonna snow today oh really how do i get out of this conversation? I'm going to put a fucking scissor paper rock. Nerd. Don't talk to me about the weather. Sign up for Patreon.

Patreon.com slash canyoudontpodcast. You'll find a link in the episode description. What? Uncle Zach. Why? Thanks. thanks my pleasure i love you love you too and i love scat cast scat cards i've got some cyd cards cards yeah cards gotta get you some pictures okay i already made them you just gotta send me better pictures okay that sounds good i'll send you one with my eye like this it'd be like a it'd be a special edition. Yeah. What would it do?

I don't know. I'll make it a gold foil card. Gold foil. Or red foil, baby. Or just a, it has a picture of your face normal, but it's a hologram.

So as you turn it, one eye swells and shuts. Done. Okay. Yeah. Scatcast.com. That's scat with a K. Got all of our socials,

YouTube, check it out. Thanks to the babysitters that moderate the Can You Don't Playground on Facebook. That's scat with a K. Got all of our socials, YouTube. Check it out. Thanks to the babysitters that moderate the Can You Don't Playground on Facebook. Love that page. So much fun. Entertains me every time I pop in there. All right, let's get out of episode 95, and then we'll get into the bonus shit. You ready?

Okay. Okay. Good God. Wrap it up already, huh? What do you got, Joe? I have a joke for you. Okay. Well, and Zach.

He has headphones. And for the kids. Big headphone sale. Sale, sale. Driving to Coeur d'Alene, there's a... Beautiful. Beautiful. Jesus. And he died.

Oh, fuck. Driving to Coeur d'Alene the other day, And there's a billboard up for a fucking RV super sale Oh yeah R&R RV RV super store Taking place at the Spokane County Fairgrounds One weekend only Until

Three weeks from now when we do it again We'll do it again We will extend this sale For one week only. Grand opening. We're giving them away. We're having our grand opening sale for six years. You don't even need money.

We have to liquidate everything. Going out of business sale. Extended. Two years. You guys saved us. We're not going out of business. So to celebrate, we're having a grand opening sale. Saturday's

going out of business sale will lead into grand opening Sunday. And on Monday, Monday, Monday, back to regular prices. Back to regular prices because we're losing money.

What kind of bear is the most condescending A panda Yeah Yeah Duh A panda Went to a zoo in Seattle saw a panda There's gotta be a

Like what Which Which Piece of In your fucking kitchen There's gotta be a Like what Which Which Which Piece of In your fucking kitchen This is great What

What Like a pan But in your kitchen What do you call that Scissors, rock, paper No What do you call A pot

Yeah like pots and pans What do you call that though Cookware Yeah What sort of cookware Does a bear use? Yeah. A pan pot.

I like it. Okay, bonus shit. Okay. You want to say bye? Bye. Bye. you