Can You Don't? - Can You Don't? | Topless Coffee. Wrong Baby. Burrito. Banana Car.

Episode Date: July 1, 2026

Have you ever been to a topless coffee stand? Have you ever been to a topless coffee stand on accident? Have you ever been to a topless coffee stand on accident with your mom and kids in the car? Let's talk about that, trying to jump a BMX at your current age while drunk, giving birth to a baby that isn't biologically yours, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://www.patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast ***New Episodes every Wednesday at 12pm PSTWatch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/Rcxfk7lGIf0Send in segment content: [e-mail]: http://canyoudontpodcast.comMerch Inquires: [e-mail]: http://facebook.com/canyoudontpodcastIG: http://instagram.com/canyoudontpodcastYouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wyt5rtOfficial Website: http://canyoudontpodcast.comCustom Music Beds by Zach CohenFan Mail:Can You Don't?PO Box 1062Coeur d'Alene, ID 83816Hugs and tugs.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Topless coffee. Wrong baby. Burrito. Banana car. What are you laughing at, dude? He said something just go? No, no. Like 60 seconds ago. And you said it in the radio voice. And I giggled. And then we changed the subject. Yeah. And I never got back to commenting on it. And then now I don't remember what it was that you said. And it was so good, but we moved past it so quick. That's the beauty of the radio voice.

You said something like, I've been talking all day. And the way you said it, that may have been it. That sounds like it. That sounds like it. I've been talking all day. Fuck. Since 3 a.m. News, news, news, murder.

On the radio. On the radio. Episode 2.11. 2.11. Of the Canyon know podcast. We have a hundred to go. I used to... Before we play Amber.

Right. We can't forget. No. It's the color of your... It's a year away. Yeah. A year away. We used to drink heavily at the...

Math. At the 211. Math. 311 is not a year away. No, two years away. Almost two years away. Because 52 weeks, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. we are one year I knew it was something like that it's something we're gonna fucking Amber of your energy forever do you every time we try and do math on the show math is hard

what sorry what we're gonna say Amber that's my wife that's your wife yeah that was it Amber is the color of her fumes Amber is the color of my wife she's kind of an amber

it's a brown Send in your content to including stuff for petty beef so I get to be racist for dick for hey guys for confessions that email addresses hey guys it can you know podcast.com damn that music bit's going hard like it's making me yell I wanted to like get up and start knocking shit over you can't get a good good you can get you can't be by himself in like a personal studio he's like dude that was sick he's showing to his kids he's like look how sick this music They're like, can I have chicken nuggies?

Don't care. We are four away right now from reaching our next goal, part of the honkathon. Right four. I can taste it. Dude, it's, oh, yeah, I know. Just fucking wait. I cannot wait for you assholes to taste stromone. I've had multiple dreams.

And I just remembered it right now. There was a dream I had last night. And there was like a group of people eating the. is strolling in, but we were watching it from the outside and they were in a closed room and they were eating it and I remember the reactions of people and I, but I don't remember if it

now if it was on like a game show or a show I was watching, but it was that's what they're eating. Okay. And I just, yeah. It's got to be inside for it to do its thing, I think. It has to be something. It's got to stick to the walls and all that stuff. Yeah, it's got to stick to your

fucking arteries. We also have to come back here and record every week and if that smells that bad and it's lingering. I love how you're concerned about showing up one time a week. I live here. You'll get used to it. I'm here. Yeah, but how often are you in this room?

We can't, no. I cannot explain the potency of this fucking stink. Who cares about you, Joe? I understand that. I understand that. So that is the only reason I think the garage is the place We'll clear it up

We'll set up a little spot We'll do it in the garage Garage door is the biggest fan That's a good Compromise Yeah Yeah So we open that up

What if we asked a bar If we could come in and shoot a segment And then just whipped her open Sure as long as you mention us You're like you betcha And just ruin their business They go bankrupt But we are four away

At this time Part of the Honkathon at patreon.com slash can you know podcast. So help us reach 450. I want to watch these guys throw up. I've still been seeing emails, so they're like, it's not fair that Joe doesn't have to eat it

just because he ate it before. Yeah, no, it is, actually. But I have suggested that I will do radio voice commentary. Right. Like I'm watching an NFL game. And that, I think, is enough. I just think it's funny that we're dragging Zach. I can't sit there by myself and eat it?

No, but it's just so funny because he wants nothing to do with this. Because I hate fish. You're going to hate this so much. I remember the smell and... I still do. It's so bad, you guys. We got a thick fucking dirty girthy flonged hog on the show today. It's been a bit.

You know, since you've really gaped up. So start lubing up right now for that. We have this goose. You might be wondering about it. If you're watching, Ezra was doing some Father's Day shopping for me. And he bought, oh. I did not mean to have that. That sounds like a legit fart.

It's like he's asking a question. So how was your day? So he bought us this goose. He bought me a hat and he bought me a jacket. And he's been saving his money. He used his own money, huh? He used his own money. To buy you things?

That's not how you saved money. Yeah, I know. Concerned goose. Now, you said that's a dog toy, right? Yeah. So if a dog's chewing on that, it's just going, Yeah, it's got the, like this, you know. We should hang that from the ceiling.

It's got a little, uh, a hangy loop on the beak. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. so thanks as good boy is little handwritten note his handwriting is so bad that looks pretty awful like I'm a little worried about him

yeah it took Brian five minutes to set that up and you just toss it out there I'm gonna happy I can't even happy happy happy

da da da da da da dad dad dad day father's day right now he's never been a strong point let me just let me take a stab at it Okay, go ahead. Good luck with that. I don't have my glasses either. Weird.

Happy Farther's Day night. Now I'm tired, so sorry for the messy handwriting. Anyways, love you very much. Hope you like the stuff you got, Ezra Paisley. Boy! With a heart. That sounds about right. So thanks, Az.

We haven't checked the mailbox in a couple weeks. so we can get over there. If you check the females box. And apparently... Jeez. Oh, yeah! And apparently this keeps happening. And then we're going to jump into the show.

But remember our stories? Bees! Yes. Millions of bees escape after semi-truck hauling beehives overturns. Like, out of all the trucks to fall over, are the qualifications lower for... If you're driving beehives, Do you have a CDL? They're like, no.

They're like, here, take these beehives? Yeah. What's the correlation? Do you have any idea what you're doing? Well, you have to have a Class C driver's license, right? You don't have to have a Class B license. That is funny. Good job.

I just made it up. But nowhere near here. It's in Texas. But these pictures, dude, look at it. What? Good Lord. Look at this fucking thing. This mob.

So they all took off and went to a tree. Holy shit. And then he's like, God. Is this a kid? That's a child. Why is that cartoon B so hot? That's a good question. Queen B. Slippy?

What is her? Supply. Oh, supply. Slippy? Slappy? Queen B. Slappy. Sampsonite. Can get this.

But. Samsonite, I was way off. All right. Let's get the show going. Zach Foss. Shut up. Start the show. Ready.

Oh, let me see. Could I find it again? Yeah, dude. Nice. All right, sent in by our clearly drunk son Aaron. Who writes, oh, hold on. That's sick. Okay.

So, you and your bros are in the yard and having some beers. That's bros do. That's what bros do. Just doing bro stuff. And there's always that one bro. that has a great idea which never actually is a great idea. Dude, I have a great idea.

You know how to really punch this up? So your drunk dickhead friend challenge you to a couple of options. Okay. Number one, jump your kids' BMX bike over this three foot high launch ramp and do a cool trick

like you used to do back when you were 15. A cool trick. Dude, check out this. A cool trick! Take out this cool trick. Super trick. Super awake. Or, number two, chase down a family of geese.

Pick up one of the baby geese and taunt the angry mother goose as you dance around with the baby. Keep in mind, you are into the better part of a 12-pack when you're doing this. God, the visual of just going, It's chasing you around You're like fucking Hong Kong Hong Hong I mean When was last time you did a BMX

Cool trick When I was Before 15 Because I started playing other sports So it was Man Like 9 or 10 But I'd BMXed

What was your sickest trick? Bar spin Yeah I think it did a 360 no I tried a 360 once the names that tricks have have always entertained me

yeah it's like a 360 McTwist McTwisty daddy down you're like what I mean I came from a skateboarding world What did you call that dude this fucking Mick twist All right dude

Fuck yeah dude And then everyone's doing the McTwist Just a gnawley inward heel nose blunt To Casper Everyone's like Are you are we talking the same fucking language.

You got to do it in that order, though. So, yeah, so I get it. I get it from coming from skateboard land. That was gnarly, dude. Thanks. One of these, like, his geese are scary, but they're not going to impact, like, they're not going to

result in a medical bill. Like a mad goose mom. I don't think you've been harassed. Dude, I have five fucked with geese. I've kicked him. Oh, yeah, we've, you know. Yeah. You get off on this shit.

I'm so hard right now. But three foot high kicker. There we go. Jesus. He's got to get one squeeze in? Yeah, well, you said you were so hard and I was going to squeeze about it. But I thought I could just squeeze up here, but it didn't work. No, down to the belly.

Try harder. I'm going to push the wall off. Okay. We can't move on until you make that thing make. a noise. It's very specific. Oh, there we go. Got the rumble.

A three foot high kicker is, it's no joke. You know, we're going three foot high. I mean, that's not, that's more than three feet, but what? That's more than three feet. I mean, what am I? You're like four foot six, aren't you? Or a 5-6. No, there.

That's a three-foot kicker. That's a three-foot kicker. It's got to be right around there. That's pretty scary high. Yes. At this age, no way, dude. I'm not doing that. It's like when surfing is happening.

And when you measure the wave and people are like, there's four-foot waves, you're like, that's nothing. And then you're swimming around in. Yeah. Then you're swimming around in the four-foot wave. And you're like, oh, my God, never mind. This is a lot. This is a lot. take in, I think I might die.

So if this comes down to, do you want to get really hurt or do you want to battle a family of geese? Yeah, I mean, I'm just visualizing me jumping. I used to jump like curbs and stuff. I would have been like Napoleon

when he tries to jump that thing and he racks his nuts. I visualize... Did you ever be a max or anything? I I know, not to the extent where we were like, but we built, we had dirt tracks in our field. So we hit, we had jumping,

nothing like, we weren't sailing through the air. Like if you got six inches off of a little dip down jump, that was sick. Yeah, we were doing that stuff. Yeah. But three feet high,

I'm sure the people out there going, you fucking pussy's three feet's nothing, but, yeah. If you had to pick the cool trick that you would do, where would you go? Best chance of survival I mean I wasn't doing any like

fucking 360s or shit I would just hit the jump in land That's about as crazy as we got No it's not but that's about as cool as I got I'm guessing at this age It would be like a little tail whip Like a little push out Because you can bring that back

Handelbars aren't spinning So you're not going to get a handlebar in the chest What about Superman? No I was going to say it's no hands count That's about all I can do. No, that'd be the worst. I know. Well, just no hands for a second.

Hey, Mom. Like, just open your palms and then grab the... No hands! Oh, that's so scary. You think about it? Like, fuck you. Dude, the older I get, too, like, I just, like, falling down...

I was playing Wiffle at the kid's school the other day, and so on Blacktop. And my feet were hurting so bad. I got home. My back hurt. My knees hurt. And I was just running around on. pavement. If I tried to jump a bike and crashed, dude, that would do some, that would do some

damage. Yeah. Right. So again, back to the, like the statement of one could be a potential medical bill. And the other one is just like geese being mad about it. But, but the mental state of knowing that you're like stealing and taunting. And how long do you have to do it? That's not in there. I would feel one, like two minutes, two minutes, one minute? of taunting of family of geese and holding their baby as it squawks, scared for its life, getting attacked. And you're like, this is so funny. Because I love animals like that kind of stuff,

it would be hard for me to do that because I would feel like a fucking prick doing it. But he did smartly put in here. You're into the better part of a 12-pack. True. So better part is at least seven beers deep. Are you jumping the bike? or tormenting geese I would probably feel

more comfortable jumping the bike because when you get to drink and you're like, I did a flip off of an RV onto a pile of bark at a at an eastern

when we were at tailgate yeah but that was so long ago I know but it was like when you start drinking you think you can do whatever yeah like we could also just pick up a baby goose There's something, something I think in my brain would say like, nah, dude, still with animal shit.

Like, I just, I don't know. But they would forget, right? They would. Yeah. Like, as soon as you put the baby down and then it went, it went back to its family, you just walk back to what you were doing. But don't some moms like fucking kick their baby to the side once, like certain birds once their baby's been tarnished? That's like. Was that a myth?

That's right out the gate. I also think it's a myth, right? Zach? It sounds like a myth. I'm not sure. Yeah. Like, if they fall out of the nest, they don't just fucking, like, if you touch them, I think that's an old wife's tale.

Yeah, I just remember hearing that one time and thinking like, man, mom would just be like, no, it's tarnished. We're about to learn something now. See, like, the way my brain works is I would wake up the next morning and, like, feeling guilty. I'm like, oh, why did I do that? This fucking poor mama goose. Like, that's how my brain works.

No, it's a myth. That parent birds will abandon their babies if you touch them. Most birds have a very poor sense of smell and continue to care for their offspring after human contact. So, no. So that's out. Now what? I guess, fuck. Three foot kicker.

I think I'd have some fun with the baby goats. I just don't know if my body could survive it. See, that's what... The three foot is so big. So a kicker. Like a jump. You have to go into it with so much confidence. Know how to lean in.

And then land it. And have to do a cool trick. The fact that you're concerned about it, it makes me more concerned. Yeah. Because I know you were doing harder stuff than I was. And if you're feeling concerned about it. I have really tall BMX trophies. Because that's how I grew up.

You jump them? Your trophies? Some of them are close. Probably two foot tall. Two footers. Two footer first placer. Yeah, yeah. But no way.

Right now off a kicker. Like coming from a skateboarding background, nothing scares me. If you watch like skateboarding half pipe is already really hard. I cannot imagine being on a bicycle in doing it. That's always blown my fucking mind. and people do it and I have that like

maybe deep rooted seed of watching that and then watching the falls and the bales like if you miss on a skateboard a lot of times it just like slides out and you slam down if you fuck up on a BMX bike

you're slamming into metal with handlebars and pedals and you just get fucked up and I just can't afford the hospital bill I'm going to pick up a goose. I'm going to taunt you.

If we set the parameter that two minutes of me getting chased down and attacked by mom, and then I give it back, and then I get to carry on. I think that's a safer bet than jumping your kids' BMX bike and doing a cool trick. I think my wife is much, she would want me to do the goose thing. Yeah. Because she's like, we've been through some. Not a fan. Motorcycle accidents, torn ASEALs.

She doesn't want me to get laid up again. No. So I think for the sake of my marriage, I would have to do the geese thing. Okay. That's smart. Zach, what are you thinking out there? I just hurt myself probably instead of the goose. Oh, my God.

It's a little heart. I can't imagine Zach on a BMX? On a tiny little kids bike? Like a little fucking redline or a mongoose? What are the BMX bikes called now? This is just all I know. Huffy. Yeah, you had redline and mongoose.

That's what you needed. I think they still do the mongoose. Really? I think. That's cool. Okay, love it. Well, Zach, we might add that into the honkathon. Me doing a BMX trick.

Oh, my God. We reached 400 and you have to hit a BMX bike show. You're like, dude, I'm not getting paid enough for this shit. Yeah, dude, look at the mongoose. It's still around, huh? Hell yeah, it is. Fuck. I'm sure there's other ones.

That's what I had. The super goose. I had the red. Sorry. In the pad? Yeah, just the Velcro the... And I love how you guys know that I'm colorblind.

I said, I had the red. No red. There's a little strip of kind of a brown. And that's what I looked at. And I was like, I had the red. No, I had the blue frame. And I had red tires. Oh, there are blue tires.

Fuck, they've changed things up. Why are they so expensive? It's a bike. But tax, that's a $700 bike. Fuck, dude. That's ridiculous. All right, well, we got to move on. Let's move on.

Oh, we can't quite yet. For the golden geese. Daniel Akeye! Ha! Juddn't Ho! Jason Clacer. The Sofa Key. Nealdafi.

Stapham Gras Jordan Holliday Daniel Matthew Leotard Leonard Leotard Leonard

Leonard Leonard Thank you guys Golden Goose top tier appreciate you guys If you head over to Patreon.com

so as can you know podcast If a slot opens up and you pay for that you get a personalized video from us and you get mentioned in every single episode

Let's move on Okay I'm excited to hear about this Zach Hey Hey what's up babe What are you thinking about You know nothing

Actually you know what I'm thinking about a lot of shit What are you thinking about What are you thinking about What are you thinking about Um Let's see I'm trying to think how

Okay Maybe I won't I won't give any clues I'll just tell the story Okay So, been doing baseball. Yeah, we have. A lot of the games end up, they're kind of like in North Central, Spokane area.

Okay. And there's a block of, like, some fields at this one place called Franklin Park. And five fields there. Five fields. Five fields. And it's right in the middle of this. Five Fields Park. That's what they should call.

it. Yeah. Back to you. So, times vary for the games. Sometimes it's afternoon, sometimes evening. In this case, it was eight, I think it was an eight o'clock game. 8 p.m. 8 a.m. 8 a.m.

8 a.m. clock game. And the way that our team does it, most, I think a lot of teams do this now, like the competitor of the league, they get to the game an hour before so they can hit, warm up, throw the ball around, all that kind of stuff. make sure they're warmed up and ready to go, especially in an 8 o'clock game. You know, kids are getting out of bed. They're rolling out. They're tired.

You've got to get them little energy and stuff. So I take Amber stays home with our youngest because there's no sense in them coming out an hour early for the game. So they're going to come meet us at game time. So I take miles to the field, kind of get them settled in. And we're kind of standing there. and I'm like, man, I'm dragging ass. I'm going to run and get a coffee. And so we're kind of in a, you know,

like a well-populated area. There's stuff everywhere. So I'm like, I want to go get a coffee, but I don't want to have to drive far away. I don't want to hit a bunch of red lights and all that kind of shit. Just want to get a coffee. Hit a bunch of red lights or run. Yeah.

Yes. Right. Yeah. Uh-huh. Ah, yeah. Still. Yeah. So I put into my Google Maps,

I'm like coffee. And one pops up, it says like 0.2 miles away. I'm like, fuck, yeah. I usually have to drive down somewhere a couple miles, and it's going to take 30 minutes. And I'm like, devil's brew. Ooh, that's kinky. It sounds spicy.

But you, they've got some good stuff. I'm like, it's right down the street. I'm just going to run down there. So I'm like, Miles will be right back. And one of the dads was there. I was like, you want anything? He's like, yeah, grab me a high. black coffee.

And I'm like, you got it, brother. You're kind of racist, but fun. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And he's married to a white woman.

So. Yeah. Super racist. Yeah, he's kinky. She doesn't know that, though. Mm-hmm. So I hop in the old car and zoom down. I'm heading down division.

And I'm looking, I'm like, where the fuck is this place? It says it's over there. And kind of behind some trees, like there's a building, and then it's kind of hidden back in the trees. And I'm like,

oh, it's kind of hidden back in the trees. there out of the way. And I come rolling up and there's no one in the thing. I'm like, hell yeah, dude. No one's here. I'm going to get in and get out of this place. And I come rolling up in there, drive up to the window. And I'm kind of looking at the menu. I'm like, yeah, they got what I'm looking for here. I just want a vanilla latte. I'll take a six, six, six. Yeah. Hell yeah, brother. And then the window is, windows there. And all of a sudden the window opens up and there's a woman standing there,

topless with pasties, and barely any bottoms. And I immediately just, I'm just, keep my, this is 7 o'clock in the morning. And she opens up the window, she's standing there and up, and I'm just like, look over at the menu, and I'm like, ah, what do I want?

And she's like, how are you doing the day? I'm like, fuck good. Good, good, good. She's like, good. And I'm just like, fuck. And we must point out a lot, there's plenty of places in the country that don't have, topless coffee stands. Yeah.

We don't have them in Idaho. Yeah. Washington's like, dude, get them out. Yeah. Do whatever, whatever will sell this caffeine. Let's go. And I remember when these places started popping up, I had never been to one. I didn't realize they were still a thing.

looking back devil's brew probably should have but it was 7 o'clock in the morning I'm just looking for a coffee um tits help so I am trying not to look back and stare at her so I'm looking at the menu like squinting my eyes and we're chatting

I'm like I'll take a vanilla latte all that kind of stuff what are you doing today you know just baseball you know just doing that having a conversation but but just trying to not look at tits and I didn't have my glasses on because I was like I'm just, I pull up, I want to be able to look the person in the eye when I'm making the order and all that kind of stuff. So, so you wear your glasses to order coffee, but not to read on the podcast?

No, not like shades. Oh. Because it was sunny. It was the sun was coming up, but I was like, when I pulled up the window, I was going to take them off so I could have a conversation. Because sometimes I feel weird talking in glasses. It's like, it feels impersonal. Now I wish I would have had them on. Then I could have grabbed a peek or two.

But anyway, so she, she. asked we were having a conversation she makes my coffee turns out she's makes a hell of a vanilla latte i bet so i get i go on my way i go back to the fields what kind of milk do you want you're like and and the other dad was asking for hot black no milk uh no cream yeah she wants straight black just hold but that's not that wasn't an option at this place it was just her working um so we get back to the place and i walk up and i give him the coffee i'm like you ever I heard a devil's brew? And he just goes, you didn't.

And I was like, yeah. And so we're joking about it. And there was another dad there. So now we're joking about this and we're laughing about it. And they're like, did you at least use cash? So your wife's not seen you're going to Devil's Brew and all that kind of stuff. And I was like, oh, she'd be fine with it, whatever. It's funny.

So. It's funny that that's a funny conversation. Yeah. Instantly, because being like, what if your wife finds out? And you're like, why? Well, first of all, I was like, I didn't go because I, what I, and the whole time I was there, I'm like, she thinks I'm here because I came here because of this. And I just came to get a coffee.

So now my brain has this weird thing going. She thinks I'm here to look at her in her pasties while I'm, and be all creepy. But I didn't, I'm not, because I know I'm not. I'm like, I just came for a coffee. So I'm having this internal awkward battle. She's like, here's your coffee. And you just like, reach out and take it in a baseball glove. Thank you.

And then give her a nipple a little. Strike. And the way, it's funny because the way she talks, she's talking like a stripper wood, like, you're looking for a dance, you know? But I'm like just trying to order a coffee. So I get, we get back.

What was the vibe? Was this like going on? Two for one. A new banger. Coming up on stage, drive through one. Oh, God. Get your dollars ready.

Here's a. Dad from a baseball game. Get your sunblock on. It's sunshine. I didn't plan on being creepy, but here I am. Here I am. Have you tried our new drink? What's it called?

Brand new banger. Can I have a 20-ounce brand-new banger, please? Oh, fuck. Can I have a 20-ounce brand-new banger? Brand-new banger. 16. Free shots. Three shots.

Three shots. She puts Yeager in. Yeah. Hot shit. Here it comes. Because it's 7 o'clock in the morning, that's not the vibe. But the whole time I'm thinking she came straight from work. Okay.

Out of the state line, right? Like she had to. Can you just do that job and not be a stripper? Yeah. I agree. You could. Okay. I do think that you could be like the tips.

have got to be fucking sick. Yeah. And it says we're the tits on the side. Or coffee's the tits. But so, okay, so that happens. I think there's quite a bit of difference between being a stripper and serving coffee. Have you been to one of those places? I have.

I actually brought my kids once. So this is the next part to my story. So a couple weeks later, this is last weekend. Amber's out of town. My mom came up to spend the, weekend with us for Father's Day and watch baseball tournament. And we take miles to the field. We drop him off.

We're putting the chairs out and stuff. Again, it's 7 o'clock in the morning. And I'm like, we should go get a coffee. And then my mom's like, yeah, I could use a coffee. And I'm like, so funny thing happened a couple weeks ago. I did this. And she's laughing because she's like, she's like type of mom. She likes to have fun.

like she'll go to the Thunder from Down Under, like the male stripper show, like Chip and Dills. She's retired in her 60s and her friends love doing shit like that, like casinos and stuff. So I'm telling her story, and she's laughing. She's like, let's go there.

I'm like, we're not going to that play. I'm not taking my mom. And we've got my niece who came along with her and my youngest son. I'm like, not taking him to this place. And she's like, oh, who cares?

And I'm like, you really want to do. do this and she's like it'll be a fun story but something we can laugh about. Something you can talk about on the podcast. Right. That's why I was like, you know what?

You're right, mom. I like what you're talking, what you're saying. So, we get in the car and we start heading down the road and I'm like, it's right up here. We pull in and the sign

that I missed before is on the other side that said, topless Tuesdays and Thursdays. And I'm like, oh. Oh, they don't They're out of lids. I completely missed this the last time. Now it's not catching me off guard. But there was a lot of trucks this time.

So we're sitting there waiting in line and we finally get up to the window. But wait, while I'm waiting in line, I get a text from the guy that asked me for the black coffee beforehand. And he goes, hey, just saw you leave the park. You had in a devil's brew. And I'm, and I saw that and I showed my mom. I was like, yeah, with my mom. And I was like, I was like, yeah, you want anything? And I'm with my mom and he's just, it just lies, you know, L-O-L-H-H-H-H-H-E-Creamer.

All that kind of stuff. And he said, no, I'm good. Because he actually texts me after, not realizing it if I wanted Starbucks. So we pull up to the window. She, gal opens up the window and just plain old tits. It was a different chick. But same, same. That's right.

And so we're just like my mom's there. My eight-year-old sons in the back. My niece is there. And she opens up the window. How are you guys doing? She's like, sorry, we're really busy. Just give me one minute. She turns around and goes to the other side.

And it's just thong and pure ass. And so we're just like, I'm like, I'm thinking, oh, my God, I cannot believe I'm doing this right now. I don't need a coffee anymore. I'm good I'm woken up I'm fine you did it not only

I mean it would have been funny if she she didn't remember obviously it was a different chick but it was like the idea of like so like from there and on the other side like single dudes in cars by themselves

and trucks by themselves was her rolling up to the window and this chick's like she leans over what can I get you and then on the other side you just see her bare ass so it's like

you don't really mind if she's taking her time because you're getting a nice view whether she's coming or going. They know what they're doing. And so the guy would just roll up, big smile on his face, and he'd roll up with, and my mom's just like seeing that, so she's laughing. And the kids are in the back seat, giggling. And then I'm like, can we get two Italian sodas for the kids? My mom wants a hot mocha thing.

And I'm just like, I cannot believe him. They're like, yeah, she likes. And then my, and she's like, oh, dollar off for. women, for women's appreciation or something like that. It's my mom. You're like, fuck yeah, dude. And then so all the jokes coming out, like, do you have cash? You know, my mom's

like, she goes, do you take cash? And she's like, yeah, we love Cass. Cash is king. And the whole time I'm just like sitting next to my mom thinking, this woman probably just got off work from State Line and came straight here or something. And State Line, by the way, it's a script club.

It has like dollars still wedged in her. Of course I will. Check this out. Yeah. And so there was not many... Yeah. The only thing weird than that would be like going to a strip club with your mom, I think. Mm-hmm. Because she's standing there with just fully exposed.

And not only is my mom there, but my niece and my son is there. Well, and we're just waiting for a coffee. Like a vanilla latte. It's very weird. They'll think about it forever. Yeah. And that's beautiful. And we have something to joke about, but it's like, in the moment, it's like, this just feels...

Yeah. This doesn't feel right. I mean, I don't know sure what was more awkward, though. That way, or rolling up by myself, and then me having the scenario, she thinks that I'm there just to see her creepily by myself. Well, that's in your head. And I've been through that. I actually took my kids through a topless one. I had no idea.

I was like, dude, I needed a coffee. And just took them through. And I was like, I had no idea. Just tits and thong. Hi. Person with kids. you must be responsible. Well, then that's the funny thing because now I go back to the baseball field.

And all the parents. With a boner. Some of them had caught. I kind of joked about it with some of the dads the first time. And then I think, so the guy that was there the first time, I think his wife found out about it. So then she knew that I was there with my mom. So when we get back and now it's like everyone's aware of where we just were with the whole family. So it was just like, it was, that's good.

So now that we're chatting about that and making jokes, but like. And your mom was right. Made a nice memory. Now I'm the guy that takes his mom and his kids to the topless coffee shops. Well, don't stop. At 7 o'clock in the morning. Then don't stop. Next, bringing the wife.

It's so close. It's right there. I get it. I get it. It's no judgment from here. Yeah. You're good. Yeah.

I totally get it. Well, speaking of boners, someone's sledding some dick. Hell yeah. All right. Let's fucking get good. Is it dumb, trusting, then it's dick, B. Okay, so not quite sure where these are all going to go.

But I'd like you guys as a penny on this one. Okay. Florida couple in IVF. So internal. In vitro. Yeah. Oh, boy. Yeah.

Huh. So the clinic messed up. The embryo that they were trying to have. And they're going to go ahead and keep the baby who isn't genetically theirs. Here's the family. Huh. And this is not racist. Right.

But the baby is the blackest black. And the parents are the whitest white. And they're like, we'll take it. It looks like a soccer ball. The family picture. It's just like, it's just checkered. Right. So a Florida couple embroiled.

in an embryo mix-up will keep their infant after reaching a custody agreement with the baby's biological parents. Tiffany's score. Nice. That's a funny that you said. Sarker. And Stephen Mills sued the fraternal center of Orlando and its lead and its lead, fuck me. Reproductive, idiot. I know, but the next word is what I started looking at.

Endocrinologist? What? Is that, that's the thing? Doctonologist? In January, after learning that the daughter, whom score had given birth to a month earlier, was not genetically related to her and Mills. Score!

But like, a month earlier, like, you know that right out the gate. You're like, maybe it's not a color-changing gem. Like, you know right out the gate that baby's not yours. And then they contacted the family and came up with, like, an arrangement to, be like, listen, we've already, we've already fallen in love with this baby. We're going to keep it. What would you guys do in this situation?

Can, maybe I'm not getting it. Can you explain this again? What? Okay. So, in vitro. Explain it like I'm a five-year-old. No, so they have, they, the clinic mixed it up and injected the wrong sperm into, the mother.

Got it. It was the wrong sperm. So they had to plant the seed inside of her and she gave birth to a baby that wasn't theirs. And they're like after a month

they're like, okay, we'll keep it. But what do you mean it wasn't theirs? It was implanted in her. How was it not? What the fuck? Do you want to see the picture again? No. What I'm saying is I'm confused

and, uh, it's, it's half hers. No, yeah, that's what's what I'm saying. That's why I was confused. It's not theirs. It's half the mom. Hers on accident.

But the dad, it was supposed to be the dad's sperm? That, yes. Okay. That's what I just wanted to confirm because. Or they put the egg, the wrong egg inside. Okay. So it goes both ways. Yeah.

Okay. So it could be the wrong. Okay. That's, I just was slightly confused of which was mixed up. Yeah. I know how in vitro works. I just, it wouldn't. Yeah.

So, SCORE and Mills, who are both white, had undergone in vitro and fertilization at the Longwood Florida Clinic and pursued genetic testing because their baby displayed the fiscal appearance of a racially non-concation child. Hmm. Are we, we're so far into being so scared of saying something wrong. Non-Caucasian. The lawsuit said, the testing revealed that the baby named Shea was 100% South Asian, according to score in Mills attorney. Just right out the gate, like, we need a 23 and me. So is that Indian? What?

South Asian, would that be India? Sure. Korea and, wait, no, it's Northeast Asia. It's Vietnam. I don't know. Because Asia's part, I mean, India's part of Asia. Yeah. The suit prompted a search.

the couple whose embryo had been mistakenly implanted into score. And back in April, attorneys for score and Miles announced that Shea's biological parents had been found. The names of the biological parents identified in court documents only as patient zero zero four have been kept confidential. Oh, 004. Can you imagine if you were 007? I'd like to meet my parents.

I don't have a whole lot to go off of. This is 004. We have good luck. good luck. We have patient double O four. God, man. I mean, the

most prominent part of my reaction is that, like, good on them for just being like, okay, we can do this. We can make this happen. This baby is half yours. It has nothing to do with me, but thinking that you are having

a child together through that system, and then it gets fucked up and then reaching out and be like, well, we're going to go, we'll take it from here. Patient W. Double four. Thanks, mom. Thanks, mom. What would you do?

I don't know. It's such a tough one to be in. Is there a lawsuit here? Yeah, they already sued the clinic. Okay. So, but also you could sue the clinic and then, you know, return the baby. I'm guessing. Here's my receipt.

What's your return policy? Oh, my God. Just in store. Credit, okay. I feel like store credit. Two free eggs on us are bad.

I don't... I mean, I love babies. I can do it. As much as the next guy. As much as the next guy. Probably more than the next guy. But thinking that you are

going through this with your partner and then getting a baby that for the man is not yours and being like, we'll take it. That's like going to a restaurant and then giving you the wrong meal and you're like, I'll eat it anyway. I know and you guys not complaining about mistakes. Is this

the line? Yeah, like, I think my mashed potatoes weren't I got a baked potato set of mashed potatoes. I'm like, I don't want to ask for me. You guys put bacon on it. Yeah. And you guys would be like, I'll just eat it anyway. But in this case, I'll just raise it anyway.

Could you do it? I don't know, that's a tough one, man. I guess it depends on, so if you, if you, if you have the baby and you had some time to grow attached to it while you were deciding what you want to do, and then you're like, yeah, I just love this baby for who it is. And I don't want to, you know, like, if I get a new animal, it's like, I don't think I could be a, a, a foster parent or a foster, like, animal parent, because I think I would get attached to the thing. so I see where these people are coming from like you get it you get attached and you're like god damn I'm way to attach to this thing

such funny wording them god I'm so attached to this fucking thing yeah I don't know I don't know that's a really hard one to no matter how your brain would work

to put yourself in that situation to be like and maybe maybe the dad doesn't want any part of it, but he's like, you cheated on me? He's like, it's not how this works. I've already sued the clinic. I didn't cheat on you. But yeah, I was just wondering, you guys' thoughts were on that?

Because I have no idea how I would respond. Yeah, that's a tough one. Yeah. But good on them for, I mean, they could just let the baby go into foster care and have its life figured out, but they're going to do it. Yeah, they're going to make it happen. Love it. So good for them. This could be kind of a.

the good story good news story I forget what the segment's called we're not doing it Jesus it's only been four and a half years Yeah I brain farted All right you take the next one No

No All right we're gonna We haven't talked about this Very much in a while But we're gonna do some door dash Oh yeah I love it But not in the way that you'd You'd think.

Okay. So, we love robots. We love AI. We love SWAT situations. And we love DoorDash. And this has all of it. Yeah, that summary of just this show. Yeah.

Listen, we love robots, AI, SWAT situations. Welcome to K&D you don't. What is the, this, this has, it has intrigue, you know, that has all the things we're looking for in a story. Food delivery robot caught in the middle of Chandler SWAT situation. Help. A robot took a turn into a dangerous situation in East Valley on Monday night. A DoorDash food delivery robot, dot the robot, had a food delivery in the area where Chandler Police SWAT situation was unfolding.

Rather than avoid the crime scene, the robot rolled right in. It's like the story we read about the delivery robot that rolled through the crime scene, right? but way worse because they're trying to be sneaky. They have like tactics. They're coming up with plans. And this robot's like, excuse me.

Help! It's like they can't know that we're out here. We've set up primeters. We can't know that anything is going on out here. You just hear, how? The guy looks out the window. Burrito. You lied to me.

Burrito. Hot and ready. Hot and ready. Hot and sweaty. Wee, boop, boop. Excuse me. Help! Help guns! He's getting caught in like a trap.

Please order the robot to turn around. No! Got a job. No job to do. Nope. Sandwich. Can't turn around. Late. Late for sandwich. Sandwich cold. It's hot and ready. Can't get cold.

Hot and ready. Sandwich. Sandwich. Help. just fucking wearing the SWAT gear dealing with a fucking dot the robot shut the fuck up just walking up with like you know what are they the battering ram like to get the one two sandwich

help Philly cheese hot and ready Philly cheese guy runs out the back door he's like Jesus leave no Can't compute.

Hungry man. Sandwich. Can't be late. Can't be late. Yellowstone. The door dash technician picked up the robot and took it away from the scene of the crime in a box truck.

Come here, I'll take it from here. Dot the robot may need a good night's sleep to recover from this delivery and maybe reboot to avoid future sticky situations. And we are living, I think we're living on the front end of what a world this is going to be going. Oh, yeah. Right?

So there's only some cities. We don't have food delivery robots here at the moment. I'm sure that we're on the list. But once the floodgates get bursted open to the robotic delivery system, whether it's drones, or on the ground door dash robots. What the fuck is that world going to look like? Excuse me? Because we've covered a lot of shit.

We've most recently covered the food delivery robots smashing through the bus stop windows. Yeah. And then some getting caught and then refusing to cross the street. Like they're just terrified. Fuck. Yeah. As soon as they start becoming, like they have like a fear. can't. Yeah. Yeah, they're like fearing for their lives and stuff. And we're in the testing stages, right? So right now, there's like, you'll see one, if you're in a city, wherever you are, I don't know, you may have seen these things. I have not seen them. But if you're in a city where these things are kind of roaming about, we're just on the front end. Like, imagine if every... Just running you each other and shit. If every Uber, DoorDash, Amazon delivery has a robot? Like, they're going to need to.

to bike lane. Excuse me. That's probably what Amazon will be willing to fit the bill to... Oh, absolutely. The amount of money they would save on gas and paying people to have a robot deliver your shit. It's almost like a tramway just for robots delivering. Which is why, I mean, smartly, and I mean, if you look back at it, is why Amazon,

and I think Walmart at one point, and Amazon still, they're skipping street to a drone. Like you cut out, you don't play in the 2D world. You're like 3D is way faster. So they're skipping to the drone drop type situation. But not every company can afford that. And if they're close enough, they're going to have a little robot that drives. It's going to be a fucking disaster. It gets in the middle of the road or something that's holding up traffic. I'm dot the robot. Just two like robots. Like have a good day. Like just fucking. They stop and have a conversation. Gotta get on the way.

How's your day? I'm good. I'm going to have a burrito inside me. When I was living in San Francisco, they started doing that. In 2014, they had flying shit. And the joke was that it's skeet shooting with prizes. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

I'd love to keep talking, but my burrito's getting cold. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I understand. I'm delivering insulin. I have to go as well. It's one of those robots. I have NARCAM. It's the,

I'm in a hurry as well. I'm sorry about your cold burrito. I'm delivering Narcam. Ha ha ha ha. Have a good day. Just fucking. What was that robot chasing? Wasn't like a bear or a moose? Boars.

Imagine the robot. He's running chasing boars and then dots going the opposite direction. They're having that conversation. I can smell your burrito. Ha ha, ha, I'm chasing boars. Have a good day. as well. Ha, ha, ha, ha, pizza.

I can't wait till I'm not chasing boars and I'm delivering gold burritos. Cootney County. It's just, it's going to be a fucking nightmare. And you know they will try to

personalize it just like that. Excuse me, I am trying to deliver Narcam. Fucking Ha ha ha ha have a good day Overdose two blocks away Thanks for the chat Joe

One of those guys just getting caught on a curbs Help Send another robot out to help him Help cold pizza And you're just And you're just walking around You're like what is my life And you just go to your job

And pretend like that's fine There's going to be 5,000 of them per city block. Yeah, there's supposed to be more robots than humans on Earth at some point in the future. Just cranking up your fan noise to drown out the robots having conversations on the sidewalk outside your window? Whoops, died. I would love to keep talking about Yellowstone National Park. But I have a kidney. I am delivering a kidney.

I must go, ha ha, ha, help. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. That sounds like a rough day. Dot the robot. I'm sorry about your burrito. I'm delivering a kidney.

Ha ha, have good day. Dude. And you're just trying to sleep, listen to a chorus of robot convos, dude. Fuck. That rumble of conversations, but it's But a whole block of ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha's? Excuse me. Help.

I cannot help you. I don't have arms. But I do have a kidney. Excuse me. Heart transplant. Fuck. Anyway, in that same vein. Let's jump off to this really quick.

Your grocery cart now has cameras, trackers, and targeted ads. Okay? So the same boat, and we're not going to stay on this for very long. I'll just get you guys read on this really quick. But how would you guys feel about having a smart grocery cart? Okay? So something that tracks, hold on!

You're already getting pushed ads. if you were at the grocery store and the grocery cart already knew what you were looking for and it told you where to go to find it and it pitched you ads about shit you actually cared about is that the line that's too far?

Like there's a deal on fucking Ritz crackers and you bought soup and then you put it in the cart it scans it and then an ad pops up and says you know what to go good with this? This. And you're like, okay.

Okay. That's a lot of upselling. It is. And the amount of money they would make for selling those ad spots is crazy. But here's what I think is solving the age-old problem that we've discussed on the show before. Calling your wife. Yep. I was going to say it.

And then her not picking up the phone and you're standing in the aisle wondering which kind of sugar you should get. Your shopping cart knows what your wife wants you to get and tells you where to go in the grocery store. Is that that bad? No. I mean, it's only a matter of time, obviously, before grocery stores are gone. We know that. I would say within...

What would you guys guess? Five years? Ten years? Oh, not five years. Ten? Five years a little sudden. But look at the progression of all this shit. Where, like, I already prefer the curbside where you can order and then just go drive up and they walk it out

and put it in your car. Oh, so you're saying they still have... The grocery store still exists, but you don't go into shop. There's no employees. It's all like delivered stuff. By dot the robot. Right. I have your condoms.

We have all our groceries delivered. Yeah, exactly. I have your condoms. I have your magnums. Joseph. And some rubber bands. Do you mind if I put them with a banana, nas? It's just like, so it's a matter of time.

This seems like it's jumping the gun a little quick to be worried about because no one's going to go into a grocery store. It can't be that long. No one likes it. Like being like, I don't know. I don't mind that as much as I don't like the flex pricing that everybody's talking about. Oh, yeah. This would be part of it too.

Yeah, where the prices adjust. Well, I watched wind. I mean, the company Wendy's has just lost a ton of money over the last three quarters or so because they went out and said, hey, we're going to do this thing. And it's going to be cheaper for you. everybody was like, we don't want you to mess with the prices. What is it?

Flex pricing? Flex pricing. So if it's not busy, they might drop a frosty price down to 89 cents. If it is busy, it's regular. Yeah, and grocery stores are fucking with that too. Like having the, they'll automatically adjust depending on what time of day or have like flash sales, right? And they're worried if Lucky Charms will be $2 less. Yeah.

And they're worried if you come walking up to the thing wear nice shoes or something. It's like, oh, that's $4 for you, a $2.00. Yeah, it'll go there. Right. But I think we will hit that. So everyone's going to be dressing like a piece of shit. Yeah, why not? To get a good deal?

Just like the airport. You just crawl in there and they're like, everything's free and you're like, thank you. Hell yeah. Dude, I fucking love it. Anyway, I just want you guys just read out that. Hoof. I love the guidance. I don't like ads.

I don't like being forced and sold stuff. I don't want to walk around. Just like if you go to a fucking gas station and the second you swipe your card in a five, 500 decibel ad starts playing. I don't care for it. Have you joined the Mavericks Adventure Club?

You should fucking join it! It's so loud and you're like, I... Probably because there's engines running and stuff so they got to be loud. What? If you're running your engine... I've seen so many people

pull over and run their engine while they're filling up gas. You're not agreeing with me that it's annoying to have a gas station. No, I'm not agreeing with you. I'm just saying, I'm just trying to. They just want your attention. Yeah, I get it.

When I go to Idaho, there's one where it's just all digital screens, but there's a volume control at the bottom. So I just turn it all the way down while I'm sitting there. That's the company. I haven't been no gas station in years. Oh, yeah. You have no idea how bad it's been. It's real bad. I stopped at the Maverick today to go in and get a burrito and a pop.

And it wasn't at the gas pump. No. Yeah, it just yells at you. Did you know that if you join the Adventure Club? And you're like, Jesus Christ. And they all start at different times. It was like, did you know to you? Did you know did you know did you? You're just like, they're echoing each other.

You're like, oh my God. Have you seen, would you like to see pictures of Yellowstone National Park? Adventure awaits. Forty sets here. Unletted. All right, let's move off to some good news. Zach, play it! Please!

Do it! So you're telling me there's a chance. Hooray, we aren't doomed. Yeah! Huh. Hooray. I did not doomed. I did not foreshadow this when we were talking about skateboarding earlier.

But I do love this. Skateboarder rolls across the United States coast to coast in 39 days, shattering his own world record. I love it. When he did it, the first thing, he was like, no one's ever going to beat this. And then he's like, I can do it. Super skate. Super skate. Super push.

A California's scat. skateboarder has once again proven that grit, four wheels, and a lot of stamina can carry a person across the entire country. And this time, he did it faster than ever before. Who wrote that? Punch them.

Not a skateboarder. Chad Caruso pushed off, nice, from Venice Beach on May 1st and rolled into Jacksonville, Florida on June 8th. Should have said, he dropped in. He dropped in from Venice Beach, covering more than 3,000,

miles in just 39 days. That pace works out to roughly 72 miles a day and average that's hard to imagine maintaining on foot. Well, yeah. What? Yet alone,

balanced on a skateboard. And that was the line, okay, it's the good and the bad. When I was reading this article before I put it in, I come from skateboarding world. You're too close to this story. But I,

read that it's like you cannot imagine walking this yet alone balancing on a faster form of transportation it'd be like someone who wrote this had never written a bike and they're like this feet which you can't even imagine doing you imagine for peddling that far yet alone balancing on a bicycle it's like oh my god it's the same thing once you figure it out it's a person that never skateboarded yes that wrote this article yes Absolutely, and it drove me crazy. Being a skateboarder, that's fucking nuts. Skateboard lingo.

Pushed off from Venice Beach. Fuck, dude. So the journey was in Crusoe's first cross-country track back in 2023. He skated from Venice Beach to Virginia Beach in 57 days, six hours and 56 minutes, a feat that earned him a Guinness World Record title for the fastest skateboarding across America. This year's trip was, in part, an attempt to beat his own world record. I wonder if he set up like some kind of sponsorship deal, right? Because if you're not getting funded through all this.

It's expensive. It's tough. And I have skateboarded, and I'm not trying to knock down this fee. Actually, I'm trying to not minimize this feet because going 70, was it 9 or 72? miles a day, 72 miles a day on a fucking skateboard. Just the vibration alone and the loneliness. That takes a special person because you're not making it town to town 72 miles. And there's up and down.

It's not like it's, you know. Yeah, going up. Is he walking uphill though or is he pushing through it? I guess it depends on the trek. He can't push along a freeway. he's going to get pulled over you're getting in trouble but hey you can't skate here

classic yeah there's like that there's a guy and I'm not diminishing either but there's a guy and when you go to mirror games or Seahaw games and stuff there's a guy that he's sitting out on a stationary bike and he's like he's riding

like Iron Man distance or whatever certain distances for charity but he's doing it on a stationary bike and it's like a dude's in like crazy shape, crazy athletic looking, but he's not riding on up and... On a bike bike. Yeah. So...

So what's the point? Who cares about childhood cancer? Or whatever you said? Well, I'm just thinking like, is this guy, is he pushing up a steep incline to go, like, five miles up a hill? Or is he walking it and then riding down the next side, is what I'm wondering. Not, again, like, sounds like we're taking away from what he

did. We're not. Because there's no fucking way I'm doing it. I just thought it was cool. Like it's just one of those things. Being a skateboarder myself, I was like, that's pretty fucking, I mean, I cannot imagine. Imagine you lock into a Tinder date, right? And you're like, I'll be there in 57 days.

And they're like, what? Smelly. Yeah. And you can skateboard to fucking Jacksonville. God, if you don't get your dick touch, I swear to God. You get a hand job? Can you imagine from Venice Beach to Jacksonville for a handy?

I mean You're holding your You beat your own record You're holding a trophy Your Guinness World Record plaque Getting a hand job in Jacksonville Oh man That sucks

All right moving off for something I found on the internet Zach, fuck! The internet is pretty wild. Depending on your browsing habits, you can either experience something super cool, or go to prison. Crazy, right? Let's check it out.

Together, as a couple. Hey, look what I found. Yes! That's awesome. Yeah. I know it's, I know, dude, don't, don't knock a hand job. Take what you can get sometimes. I love a good hand, yeah.

I'm fine with it. As long as he's passionate. Yeah. Like, if you're just like, watching handmaid tail. You're rolling your eyes. If we're just watching Handmaid's tail and you're jerking me off,

like I'm just a side product of whatever, you know? She's watching a show about Women's Rice being taken away and all that kind of stuff while she's... Yeah, just women's suffrage and jerking you off. Half-hearted. Yeah. Kind of with a little spite, actually.

Oh, that's fine, actually. Well, she's thinking like, This is the way things are going. If you don't vote the way I want you to vote. I want to be jerking you off forever. You're like, I want a divorce. I was thinking that she's thinking that this is the way America's going. We're going to be doing this.

I'll be jerking somebody else off. Good luck as long as you don't get to the sight on it. This is a funny story because it goes cross-platform. I actually talked about this on my radio morning show. Oh, man driving giant banana gets pulled over in Montana. Banana and Montana. Oh, my God. Montana and Nana.

I love it because if you've ever been to, my brain goes to Mexico. Okay, because they have the banana raft, right? Where you sit in a row on the banana raft. Everyone's seen it. You've fucking seen it. You've been to Cabo. I haven't been to Cabo. What?

So they make banana rafes. And they're just long, fucking rafts, and everyone sits in a row. And this guy was like, I'm going to make a car. Mine's going to float on the road. Yeah, you don't sit next to who you want to sit next to you. You're in, like, kind of a roller coaster type setting, and you're just all strapped in. According to the Montana State Police, the giant banana car and its driver, Steve Brothwaite, were pulled over near Billings because part of the license plate was blocked. He did not receive a ticket.

Also, the plate reads split. Nice. We've stopped speeders, distracted drivers, and even a few unusual vehicles, but this one definitely stands out. The big banana car was stopped cruising near billings. While it may be appealing... Mm. Fuck. Oh, yeah!

Traffic laws still apply to fruit. Safe travels, Montana. According to the report, Brathwaite has been pulled to. over hundreds of times over the decade. He's been driving his banana car across the country. In fact, he believes that during the first few years, he had the banana car. He was one of the most frequently pulled over men in America. Here's a quote from Steve. Driving around in a banana and having all these people, all these smiles and waves affects me, it actually does something fantastic. And I agree. There's some power there. He even claims to have been pulled over once for peeling

out. Oh yeah. Which was, of course, a joke. Another report claims that Brathwaite began working on the fiberglass banana back in 2008 and finished in 2011. It's based on a 1993 Ford F-150 and is about 23 feet from tip to tip. There is something special. The dude that has the boat car on the South Hill in Spokane, you see that thing driving

by and you're like, fuck yeah. dude, it's a boat on wheels and you can't help but be like, hell yeah, dude. So this? Yeah, I know. And then my brain goes to, of course, the, um, we've talked about when you're dressed up

for Halloween or in costume in a serious situation. Imagine having to rush someone to the hospital in a fucking banana car. Keep pressure on it. Come on, peel out. Oh, God. I can't. I can't. I can't.

put pressure on it. I remember we're in a single file line in a fucking 23 foot banana car. Like, and seeing this thing pulled over would be hilarious too. So good. So good. You're driving by and a dude just sit in the front scene. Not again.

You know. But yeah. And he's like you drive your newborn baby home in a fucking banana car. Welcome home. You know, the, whatever it is, the car. seats backwards just to be safe. Yeah. Yeah, because until a certain age, it's got to be backwards.

We're all about safety here. Sorry, son, you can't sit in that seat until you're 13. You've got to sit in the back. You've got to sit by the stock. Shotgun. All right, let's hear from the kids. Zach, fuck! It's play! Hey, you guys!

All right, let's hear what you guys think. Really? You want to talk to me? Wow, that's cool Okay Joseph Our first email is coming in from our son Matt Hey Matt Who writes, hey Joe and Brian Hello

Not that you needed any more confirmation Of the vans of death But my grandfather took his life this morning On Father's Day Which is a choice Oof I wonder when that music was going to cut out Go ahead and take out the fun music.

While we're dealing with the police, they dispatched six cars to our middle of nowhere house. Had a crime scene investigator in a corner all asking questions if they hadn't known our entire family for years before this. But I'll just tell myself that actual murders are hard to solve and they were paying a tribute to my grandfather. Anyways, my brother and I laughed until he cried when a need. neon blue van pulled up to take my grandfather away. God. Neon. Guess my family has to get van tattoos now to honor all the fallen men in the flock.

Oh my goodness. It's pulling up like. Is that it? Laft backing. Yeah. Laughter helps the pain and may the geese forever fly. Happy Father's Day. And now I know that sentiment hits different.

Matt. Dead Dad Club keeps growing. No, it sure does. I'm just picturing like what this is done. Like this whole conversation is done for people when you're, you're like, it's the worst day of your life, your dad, dad, or whatever. And you're just, you're there. And all of a sudden you, like, around the corner comes a van.

And you're just like. A neon blue. And you're like, you're so devastated. But at the same time, the podcast, you've very, visualize that fucking podcast in your in your kind of like and if it makes you giggle a little bit and like gives you just a few minutes of relief then it's been well worth it's been well worth it well just wait for this one this one sent in from our daughter brittany who writes hey daddies and wonderful uncle scriptkeeper i have unfortunately joined the group of kids and dads who have

lost a family member son of up so i got to experience the funeral home coming to pick out my dead grandmother in a van from her trailer home. I'll go ahead and kill that same music. You knew this was coming, dude. That's on you. While we left the trailer, while they carried her out, because the hospice nurse suggested

it since they would have to burrito my grandmother in a blanket to get her out of the trailer tight spaces and all. Bunk in her head on the doorway. They showed up in a van, to carry my grandmother to the funeral home. I was, it was

an experience to say the least, I have not joined the Dead Dad Club, and I hope that it doesn't happen anytime soon either. But it may come sooner than I would like as my father's health is declining. Sorry. I thought maybe you're hitting the A button.

No, anyway, just wanted to share my newest experience of joining of the Death Van Club because while I was obviously sad and upset, it made me internally giggle and smile thinking about you guys talking about the van. There you have it.

Thanks for the laughs in this tough time. Our daughter, Brittany. Our contribution to the world. Fuck, dude. I had no idea. I had no idea. I mean, probably what? Over three and a half years ago,

that one observation was just the way the world worked. Thinking it's a special one-time moment. Maybe the car that they usually usually used isn't. Yeah, it has a flood tire. Yeah, so they sent a van. I had no idea.

And just and again, like we just said, the fact that this keeps happening and you guys are in these situations and you guys think of us and laugh, just lets me know

that this podcast is worth it. All right, you want to read the next one? God, another one. Mm-hmm. is a short one Lee was from our son J.T

in the latest episode Daddy Brian talked about picking up his kids to take to baseball games my parents never took me to my games one time another player's dad

was driving me home and a car cut him off and he chased him down and threatened to beat him with a bat out of my baseball bag your son JT sent from my iPhone

okay I thought that was going to be. Yeah, his dad cut him off for something. Yeah, and got killed in an accident.

Like, got picked up in a van. Um, but, uh, and used your bat as a kid, he's like,

they'll never catch me. You did it. Slip it back in the, in their bag. Yeah, like you'll get, you'll get way less time than me, dude.

He's wiping his fingerprints off. Oh, man, I remember some of those parenting situations. You're like, I don't even know why I'm here.

I hate it. Like growing up when you're stuck with the, like, a little, fight or an outlast and you're like oh boy um well that's our show if you have something you want to see email it in whether it's a petty beef or a confession or something you find in the internet

waves hey guys at can you don't podcast.com we are four away at the time that we record this of reaching our next goal part of the honkathon head over to patreon.com slash can you know podcast rate and review us wherever you listen to the podcast and then a shout out to uncle zacks for producing today's show my pleasure check out what he's doing. Yeah. Over at scatcast. Nothing.

We do zero. Yeah, nothing. Never busy. It makes of the babysitters that moderate the Can You Don't Playground on Facebook. I have a joke.

Let's fucking do it. Good God. Wrap it up already, huh? All right. So picture this. A guy comes home from a doctor's appointment. And he says,

honey, my doctor gave me a note. And it says, I can masturbate whenever I want. She grabs the note. from him reads it and says you idiot this says you can have a stroke at any

moment oh yeah glass half full yeah maybe masturbating more would would lessen the chance of a stroke relieve some tension sure

Jack's like hell yeah did God just hear us on who touch it you don't touch you weem boy touch it fucking cub in your mustache yeah All right, off to the bonus content.

We love you guys. See you guys in there. Bye. Hey. What the hell is that about? Good job, that. Push it. I did push it.

Push it again. Push it. What the fuck just happened? Something got set up wrong. He's going to hold a thumb there the whole time. There.