Can You Don't? - Can You Don't? | Unwrapping. Swan Warden. Worm Charming. Joey Hogbone.

Episode Date: October 15, 2025

How much weight do you think the position of "Volunteer Swan Warden" holds on a resume? Let's talk about that, trying to go about your everyday life knowing exactly how you were going to die, a brand new most annoying thing to do in public, pretending you're trapped in an active shooter situation in order to make new friends, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://www.patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast ***New Episodes every Wednesday at 12pm PSTWatch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/v391CZV0fJsSend in segment content: [e-mail]: http://canyoudontpodcast.comMerch Inquires: [e-mail]: http://facebook.com/canyoudontpodcastIG: http://instagram.com/canyoudontpodcastYouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/3wyt5rtOfficial Website: http://canyoudontpodcast.comCustom Music Beds by Zach CohenFan Mail:Can You Don't?PO Box 1062Coeur d'Alene, ID 83816Hugs and Tugs.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Unwrapping Swan Warden Worm Charming Joey Hogbone Hello Brian Hello Brian Hey Joe! Hey Joe!

We'll still be a little bit of Background noise today, episode 174. Yeah, I think it's strictly drills. Today, they've moved from hammers to drills. And there's a little grumble with it, too. It's like it's, it feels like it's going deep. Yeah. Yeah, the base might penetrate

the studio today, but stuff might fall from the ceiling. That'd be cool. Kind of frayed a little bit. Yeah, that'd be a neat little trick. Some of this brick might come crumbling down. Nice. They don't know. They don't know. They don't know. They don't know. They don't know. They'll never know. All right. Send in your content suggestions. That's stuff

for dick for petty beef things you want Zach to investigate for lap time send it into hey guys at can you don't podcast.com of course Patreon's going we just checked off our second tier part of the honkathon

you gotta get your fucking eyes checked you have that scheduled yet? Well so here's the thing what it's hard to do it during the week so I was thinking we I mean we're gonna have to do it together right or am I just doing this by myself? No I mean I fully intend

to go with you What are office hours at the eye checking clinics? Well, here, that's the thing. Like, a lot of them are just during the week. That's why we might need to go to Walmart or something. Get, get in there on the late night. Uh-huh. Just the late shift at Walmart.

Sit here. It's like some weird deal. It gives you, like, a six-pack of Twinkies with every eye exam. And you're like, fuck, yeah. A coupon for a... When's the last time you had a Twinkie? Not too long ago. Really?

My... So... I feel like it's been maybe... At least 20 years. Well, they stopped making them. They did. They discontinued him. And then I'm sure they had a billion left and then they put them back out for sale.

Like these are going to be here after the apocalypse. We have to do something. My son, being a picky eater, one of the things that he watched a YouTuber and then sometimes he'll eat stuff because of YouTubers talking about something. They finally feel like it's safe. Yeah. So he went out and got a box of Twinkies one time and he ate when he liked it. So it's like, well, it's hard not to like Twinkie. I know.

And I think I have. a little bit. Okay. That's fair. That's fair. They're good. So that 425 has been officially checked off, making our way to 4.50. I got the hot air balloon ride there, but I think we are officially swapping it and doing 450. Zach's going to get his own camera, and then

475 will be the hot air balloon ride. Yeah, just not going to work out season-wise. Yeah. Season-wise, heart attack-wise. Heart attack wise. Stress, anxiety-wise for Brian. So the faster we can get there to 475, we will accomplish Zach on camera, and I get

watch Brian have a panic attack. 500. That's how you get that extra Patreon exclusive episode every single month. We did our second, The Pond, live hangout last week. It was awesome. Thank you guys for being there. I'll have another one coming up here Tuesday, October 21st, live in the Patreon.

And if you are part of the gaggle, then all you got to do is slide on in there and have, just talk to us. Just a fun little hangout for an hour or so every other week. So, that's one of the gaggle perks. Can you scat fest? it's coming up

I mean this month's flying by it is so again 2025 live podcast music festival right there in cruisers state line Idaho yeah but the official

somebody wrote in and the official address is actually in post falls Idaho you think they can they just change that to because state line sounded cooler I think they did yeah yeah because if you look up one cruiser's boulevard it says post falls Idaho

and then they state that they're in state line Idaho. It must just be a cooler thing for them to say. You got you got to get into Idaho a little bit before you get to post falls. It must bend over. I don't know. Google Maps has them. May you get it. The mayor of state line Idaho hangs out at cruisers at the bar.

So that's how state line is. State line's a big city. Pretty tight little community. Tightening a community there. Good stuff. So you can head over to Scatcast. Rusty Jackson is going to be there. Is that his name? Hell yeah. Head over to scatcast.com.

And you can pick up your ticket. I know a lot of people coming from out of town should be a lot of fun. What are we doing there, Zach? I know you can have a bunch of cards, but give us the layout again. It's the whole thing just to sell cards. You show up and it's just like a baseball card trading festival. Basically, that's it. Okay.

I'm done with it. No, we got live music with Drake Rozier, a bunch of scat tunes artists. Okay. And then we've got podcasts with you guys, podcasts with a bunch of different guests that we've had on through JAR through the last three years. Okay. Should be a blast. Nathan Chartre is pretty cool, too.

Gifts and stuff prizes. He's a cool musician. Yeah. Oh, man. These are some of the favorites of the Scat tunes world. Nathan's opened for the Outdoor Comedy Festival last couple years. Oh, it was so amazing to see you, too. He did so great.

So again, that's going to be November 1st. Go to Scatcast.com. We got a sweaty, thick-ass flung dick hogbone on the show today. I like that. You ever heard of Hogbone? Those two words together Just sound fun Fucking hogbone

Check out this hogbone If I was a motorcycle guy That'd be my nickname Joey hogbone Oh man Can you see the leather jacket Can I use that Joey hogbone

Yeah Can I use that for a character You could do whatever you want with it Yeah I haven't had a chance To copyright it yet So if you get your shit done And put out there before I copyright it

then you won't owe me anything So before we get going We do have to showcase this shit During the pond Our son Dustin just casually rode in And he was like hey by the way I have this tattoo And we're like

Wait you can't just hide this information But he also sent this message It says While Chop Stewie and I were out riding motorcycles In North Carolina We decided to go whitewater rafting So I had my tattoo all exposed and after we got off the river

our female tour guide who had us laughing the whole time we weed on the river was behind me when I got to the top of the stairs of the bus I heard her say oh my God

can I take a picture of your tattoo so there's a picture of it floating around somewhere check this out it just says grow up lick a butthole and it's the same design that we have on the merch version

that says grow up like a butthole so there's a little flower it's very bubbly and happy and it's right on his calf and after we showed that tattoo off he informed us that on his other calf he's going to be getting a coming in a tattoo oh my god

his poor grandchildren oh yeah they're just laying on his deathbed yeah what's this mean what do you fucking think is it why did you why do you have grow up like a butthole coming in it's like you fucking tell me brother I'm about to leave

I'm fucking Joey Hogbone I'll do whatever the fuck I want. With a name like Hogbone, it's got to be good. All right, let's get the show rolling. Zach! Hey, shut up. Start the show already. So not a whole lot of funny with this particular eye.

What do they? Oh. He must be rearranging the furniture again. Last week, they moved it, and then they moved it back. Was that Jack yelling or was that someone that smashed their finger? That was me. Or, like, put a drill through their fucking... It was a drill.

It was a guy drill in his hand. So here's just a thinker for you. Would you rather know when you're going to die or how you're going to die? And you can't change the time or method of your death. So it is... I've seen this would you rather floating around. It seems like since the beginning of would you rather's. But we've, at least a mind haulage, have never brought it into the show.

And what are the pros and cons of each of these? when you're going to die or how you're going to. Can you live with how? Yeah. More than when. Okay, but there's like a percentage thing, right? Where if it is like an Uber specific way that you're going to die,

that's going to fuck with you no matter what. But if it just says something like heart attack. Like a train ride or airplane, like an airplane? Yeah, it's like, uh, it's like yellow train car. I derailed yellow train car hits you It has like you and your grandkids And you're like Jesus Fuck

Right Well you're on a fun family trip Your kids are trying to Your son You're just trying to prevent them from having kids Yeah Yeah But still you can't change it

So it's all gonna happen Can't you avoid yellow trains As much as you can see You think you're gonna be able to But something's gonna happen Well it's gonna derail you're like you don't have to be on the train no you could be off the train

you could be just sitting in a car or driving along and then all of a sudden it derails and kills you I'm on the night train can you move to an island that doesn't have a train I'm still gonna find you yeah well that would be interesting if it did if it fell out of the sky or something so came up out of the toilet

because you can't change it so something would prevent you from moving to that place yeah no matter what or you're gonna be like you're gonna be safer for 30 years. And then finally you're going to be like,

I can't just be on this island anymore. You're going to fly. And then as soon as you land, a derailed train car is going to wipe you out or something. So it's going to happen no matter what. But then you kind of made that decision. You're like, ah, fuck it.

I'm leaving. Yeah. I'll go die. I'll go die. But you pop over there and you come back and then, yeah, it's like every trip you take, every time you leave the house.

Or just staying there, you're going to be haunted by this Uber-specific way that you're going to die. But again, be more reckless with your life? Yeah. You go ahead. Sorry.

No, it's all right. I was going to say, but the odds of, like, what are some acceptable ways, right? So, like, the odds are, like, there's cancer. There's heart attack. Dying your sleep, man. Dying your sleep. That's good luck going to bed forever. Ever.

Yeah. You'd think about it every time you went to sleep. Yeah. So there's a gamble on, I guess, the higher probability of things that you don't have any control over, I was like the how you're going to die. If you knew you're going to have a heart attack, Like, it doesn't matter. Be in the best shape of your life, but it's going to happen.

And you'd have no idea when or how. But then the win you're going to die doesn't, like, what do you do? But you could win out. And it could be like 96 years old. And you're like, oh, fuck yeah. Which means. Invincibly. Yes, exactly.

Which means that you can just start eating whatever the fuck you want. Take all the risks. Take all the risks. Get in all the hot air balloon rides. See that, the, before we. You even started giving details of the other one. Yeah. I feel like I was kind of leaning towards knowing when.

Because if it's the other way, like, it could be anything like it's a heart attack. Like you're saying, like, you're just waiting for it to happen. It's like, it's just the anxiety of like, could it be this weekend? Or is it in 20 years or 40 years? But knowing, yeah, let's say, let's say you're going to be 63. And you're like, well, exactly what's going to, yeah. You're like, okay, for 20, I have 20 years to do all the stuff that I want to do. Even though it sucks to know, it also, you also benefit from getting to know.

Yeah. Because you're like, my kids will be X amount of years. You can plan for it. Yeah. Like you have everyone, you have everyone around. You have towards the end of your life, you're able to really set up the best possible way to exit this world. But it would be weird. I mean, if it's the day.

like if you say 63 or whatever you're going to die you have a whole year of like shit when's it going to happen but if you know the day you have a little death party you could and that but that week leading of like the night before you're supposed to die imagine that mind fuck like tomorrow I'm going to die at some point and you're like saying all your goodbyes and shit well I'm sure that's what people with like it to a degree terminal illness when it's getting really bad like they know and they're like see ya yeah see you later like i i remember that like i'm not going to get too much too far into it but i remember that with my dad i think i've talked about it like the you would get these polar opposites versions of them one where the cancer was winning and then

there were stages where it'd go from that you'd see him again and then it'd go back and like they were just it was like fucking with them and you can tell it was fucking you know it was it was having a huge toll on on him he was like why can't i do this right now And then he would disappear. Yeah. Definitely. What would you guys, to lighten it up a little bit, what would you guys do for your last meal? If you knew it was your last meal.

I know one thing for sure, and that's mashed potatoes would be involved. Really? Yeah. That much of a fan of mashed potatoes. I'm from Idaho. I'm from Idaho. Me, big old steak and mashed potatoes, bro, doesn't get much better than that. Nice.

What about you? I'd fuck a whopper. For your last meal, you're starting only fans? There you go. Be the first person to start an only fans for their last meal. you're giving me all the good ideas now I think you set up a fun for your kids like you would have still the same

it's not like you're sick and you're like oh I can't eat because your body is deteriorating like it's just you going through your normal things so you're like yeah I want to get a whopper uh huh I want to get some you're just like eating all the shit you want but you could be sick it just says when you're going to die you could oh true

yeah you could get really sick and the last 10 years are just you struggling and then you die I mean let's let's say you're fine but you die in a car accident that day or like it's it's remember final destination like there's kind of a little bit to that to it where that person that in front of you dies

and you're like I'm next and so you're just suspicious of everything like how much that would fuck with you yeah the generalizations of like the how you're going to die I guess think it would fuck or they like if it was a general death where it just says car accident or heart attack

you'd never want to get in a car with your kids and shit I know exactly but even though it could be 40 years from now that you die in a car accident the next 40 years you can't get in a fucking car so why I don't want that playing the odds

yeah playing the odds no way because are you going to take someone with you when you die too in the car you don't know so like I would never you always drive alone just in case today's the day. Or drive a Tesla that's always on automatic.

Well, maybe it takes off on its own and fucking Yeah, Tesla makes mistakes too. But if you have a heart attack while you're driving, maybe that won't hurt the people in the car. I don't know. I see where you're going with that statement now. If you're on self-drive, sure. That's what I mean, yeah.

I really do that. Yeah. The Uber specific way of how you're going to die, if it's crazy, you can just avoid that. for as long as possible, but I just can't, it just seems like it would mentally destroy you. So I'm going to go with the when you're going to die. I hope that it doesn't say like, tomorrow. Next week.

Yeah. And you're like, oh, man. But even then, at least you get to action pack some stuff in and really make sure you say all your goodbyes and leave on some kind of good terms. The thing is, you were going to die anyway. At least, why not be a Tuesday in October, you know? Why don't it be like, why not you be able to say goodbye and do all the things you want to do? because some people they get in a fight with their spouse or whatever and they just never made up with it and then they go and die it's like at least

at least i've got a week to straighten things away get this fight out of the way before i die yeah before she moves on and marries somebody else imagine you can help her imagine your spouse fucking getting mad at you knowing you're going to die like how could they how could you know that person's going to die and then still get annoyed because they're breathing too loud always making it about you leasing you know what i mean Like they're chewing their chips too loud But they're gonna die in four days And you're like Can you just not chew your chips that loud

And you're like In four days You won't have to worry about this Any chips at all So we're all picking the No Win You're going to die? Yeah

I think so All right Well that's the I think that's the responsible one Because it could kickstart you too Man if you get lucky And it says it gives you like a 70, 80 year 80 year old benchmark

You're like fuck yes let's go i think it would be worse if you like find out when you're when your kids are going to die or something like that would be that would be the ultimate mind fuck unless it said 90 and you're like fucking great max sweet like i don't have to worry about them at all because i worry about that shit every day i wake up worrying about i go to bed worrying about it you yeah mrs i mean just my brain went darker you know when like the your loved ones around you're going to die and it has all the same day and it's all 10 years from now

and you're like sweet so you know something super tragic is going to happen like the gas explodes in your house and kills everybody so you just make sure not to sleep in the house that night and you turn the gas on fuck that dude I'd go with him there's no way

I know be a lot could you just keep going so you just leave me yeah in a heartbeat cool could you just make it worse for everyone then could you go on Yeah, I could go on Dude, that's crazy

Because I care about you And Zach No And other people No, not Brian No way I don't see ya Can expect this to be so

Sad All right All right Let's move off to What are you thinking about Zach Hey Hey what's up babe

What are you thinking about Eh you know Nothing Actually you know what I'm thinking about a lot of shit What are you thinking about Let me just ask you guys This question

What are you thinking about Some of the most annoying things That we come across in public Lay it on me People talking People just talking in general In general Okay

Zach not a fan of talking In the fucking aisle Right when there's ways to get out of the way Just stopping to have a conversation Where people are walking In the walkway Human stink that isn't my own Okay human stink that isn't your own

Okay. People not getting out of the left lane on the freeway. That's a good one. Pretty much anybody driving ever. Zach just hates people. I'm not a fan. I'm a misanthropal. I'm not a big fan of that.

Well, Zach, you're close to what I find to be one of the most annoying things in public. Is it my B.O? It is not. It is people talking, but talking on speakerphone in public. I know this has been discussed across all the different mediums for many, many years. And I'm with you. when someone is forcing me into their conversation for whatever reason

like there's not a whole a lot of times there's not a whole reason to have it they're just doing it just because you can't put the fucking phone up to your ear and it doesn't make sense if they're like all their hands are tied but those people have Bluetooth

like talky earpieces in which is also a little annoying but way less annoying than speakerphone especially when you don't know they're talking to someone on the phone you think you're talking to you like oh yeah just buy it You know, you're like, me? No, I got two yesterday. And he's like, they point to their ear and you're like, I'm on an important call.

I'm on an important call. I'm talking about buying stocks. Stocks. Sell, sell. Sell, sell. Biscuits. Web. But I have discovered something that I didn't know would be the most annoying thing in public because I was forced into it.

So at one of Page's softball games, this was last week. I they're playing well that's not the point it's a beautiful evening good stuff and I come and I sit down on the bleachers and I keep on hearing like rustling noises I wish I had man I should have brought some fucking foil in here like it was that loud of a rustling noise like like someone yeah exactly like someone has like a gift bag and instead of pulling the gift out of like the bag they just ruffle all the tissue paper. Okay. And I'm sitting there and it's kind of, kind of bothering me.

I'm looking around, like, seeing if someone's digging through a bag or something. Because there's no way that would be a phone. No. And it's like, it goes, it goes in and out, and it stops for a bit, then in, out, in, out. And then I realized what it is. There's a grandma sitting a couple rows in front of me in the bleachers with her phone on full volume. and she's watching

unwrapping videos of baseball cards no no not baseball Pokemon I watch that shit all the time I bet you do okay so it is at home

it is drawing pictures it is cranked up and she just has it sitting next to her like on the bleachers as she's watching the game and it's just so I don't know

every 10 15 seconds it just goes Oh, Tani, parallel. And then nothing and then... Charger! Exactly. To the point where, like, everyone's starting to look at each other. Like, is this really happening?

And then every now and again, you'd get excited. And she would look down and grab it and put it right to her ear. Oh, you too. Like that. And then the problem is, like, when she would pick it up, she would, like, cup it. So then you would hear... That's also one of the most annoying things that happened. is that Brian, after three and a half years of the podcast,

doesn't mute his phone when he comes into the studio. I'm a busy guy. Oh, yeah. R2D2 Alert would... That may be not. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. And she would cup it, and then it would just go...

Like, even louder, and then she would get her, Phil. And she put it back down, and this went on for, like, 45 minutes. And I mean, no one said anything But I was sitting there And Brad Who I love you, Brad Was also there And we started just like laughing

And I was like This is unbelievable I was like this is really bad And so now at all the softball games Going forward We just look at each other and go I threw out the game And she has no idea

But she's there all the time But how Is that the only time she's done that though? That's it And I've seen her at every game She has a kid that plays on the team and then this time just happened to crank card unwrapping

It was an exciting break It's so bad Like what are you thinking Um Why now? Why at the softball game? Right And put some

I'll give you some headphones If that's what you want to do I'm not trying to say You can't have your own little hobbies And your own fun But you don't You don't force your hobbies on other people No

In public That'd be like just turning up Pornhub While you sit in the bleachers It's the guy that showed up With his guitar And tried to play for everyone and I was just trying to eat their lunch.

Right. They hired me. It was an RV showcase. Yeah, right. I was paid to be here. Quit leaving. I'm supposed to be here. Yeah, right, nerd.

Don't be sad for me. This is my job. Why are you crying, mom? Didn't you see the sign when you walked in? I just had different expectations when you said you were on tour. It's the tour model. Yeah. All right.

Superstore with Zach Flannery Saturday from 2 to 4 I do like it when other people start to notice because there's a lot of times when stuff like that's happening I notice because I pick up on that stuff right away and then I dwell on it and obsess about it and get really annoyed

and then I look around and other people are just like sitting there with a smile on her face I'm like aren't you aren't you guys annoyed by this they're not noticing at all and like I want people I want them to be as annoyed as I am so maybe somebody else will say something right because I'm not going to say anything but hopefully someone else will and then I can be like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah he's right well that kind of noise triggers what is it misophonia

misophonia yeah so people that have that condition will punch a guy over that yeah if my wife would punch her yeah and I don't have that I don't have violent thoughts or thoughts of anger, I just get annoyed. And it's more of like disappointment that you don't realize how annoying you're being. But when it comes to the mouth sounds and stuff like that, at least you're eating. So it doesn't bother me that much. It's like, yeah, I hate it and it's gross, but it doesn't make me angry. But in this case, it's like, how could you be so inconsiderate? And this was the same, I just remembered this sharing the story that the card unwrapping full volume lady was all, I'm also sitting next to way too excited for

freshman girls softball grandpa like way too much and it's dead quiet because it's not you know whatever they're playing softball but it's not high tier softball but this grandpa is there for I'm guessing granddaughter and dead silent and out of nowhere he just goes

let's go Falcons he just goes boom boom and stomps on the stands twice and he does this is like five or six times. No one else is making any noise. No one caught on. No one, no one picked it up and started stomping with him.

He's doing the one guy wave. And then also because of my, my music brain, I'm also annoyed that he's just stomping twice. Yeah. Instead of going, dun, done, dun, dun, done, done. Right?

He's just going, that good. Bomb, bomb. Let's go. You're like, dude. I'm like, get it right if you're going to be so fucking annoying. Does he do that and then go back

to this thing here? I think he just went Woo! Where they're just They're like Cross arms Like real like Yeah

Real alpha Giving himself a man hug Yeah just alpha Oh come on It's a table cold blue Yeah yelling at the umpire It's always fun And lean back

It was confidence Uh huh Freshman softball Screaming at the umpire They're there how They don't know why they're there They're probably on like probation or something That's why I had never joined the ref

I was going to ref basketball But then I watched them treat the ref that just in YMCA or AAU. It was not worth it. Yeah. You know what's... My ego is too fragile. You know, what's also annoying is that our seven-year-old soccer game, those moms that make sounds for everything that happens when they're watching, they're like, oh, oh, oh, get it.

Get it. Honey, go, go, go. Get it. No, no. That was my mom. Yep. Yep. Get it.

No, no, no, no, no. Go with it. Get it. Pass it up. Pass it up. Good job. Good job. Good job. Oh, oh, almost. Good try, boys. Good job. Oh, no, pass it. Just walking you through every bit of it without any of the lingo.

And it's not even like, not even like productive stuff. Just going, oh, oh, oh, oh, good try. Missed it. Oh, oh. Almost got it. Oh. I've told you guys this, I think. But in the middle of a football game, my mom screamed out above the crowd.

Come on, sticky fingers. Make it stick. I didn't live that down for five years all through junior high and high school. Hey, sticky. Yeah, I was sticky fingers. Come on, Joey Hogbone, make it stick. Come on, Hogbone. Come on, Joey Hogbone.

Jamming the goal, hogbone. Make those sticky fingers stick. That's it. That's a good one. My mom's go-to. A lot of it, I'm sure, was just because it was your own mom. but her word it would

like you could be in the front lines at D-Day and she would hear her saying this one word would cut through the noise and make my head instantly fucking throb and it was this one

rebound oh jeez rebound like she doesn't have an annoying voice but when she says rebound like I want to rip my fucking head off Come on

Rebound Do you feel like we're getting a root canal All of a sudden? That's a low-in rumble there Yeah Nice little vibrator Need a little more painkillers So there you go

I just want to share a new entry Into what possibly could be The most annoying thing I've ever Experienced in public It is weird Now being the parent In the stands I used to be the player

and now just being around other parents because I like if I'm watching the things I'll like chime in if it's helpful. Right. If the kids get like all right go down the sideline pass it up like given like instruction like actual Yeah

Here's an opportunity go do that But just going like get it kick it Go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go get it rebound! How does that help? It doesn't. It's just for them. They're standing there and they hear the parent go, go, go, go, go, go.

Like, shit. Yeah, we should be going. Yeah, let's go. Where do you want me to go, bud? All right, let's venture off that. It's like fucking Chris Berman, just commentating. Uh-huh. Get back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back.

All right, you ready for this? Thick, what? Did I say Squabby? Sick wavy? What are they doing over there? What is it? What is it? Is it a compressor?

What in the fuck? Who is there? I wonder, I mean, I'm not sure. Hopefully the noise cancelling is getting it out, but that feels like that rumble is a little too powerful to just be canceled. Fuck up with the grinder! God damn, sorry, guys. But the kitchen's looking good. Yeah, it is looking good.

Dick time, Zia! Is it dumb? Is it interesting? Is it cool? Then it's dick. There it is. That's a... Yeah.

I mean, I could go say something, or at least try and move what's up there, but... That's fine. The gate will get it, right? No, probably not. I just said that. I literally just said that. Did you? Oh, I said hopefully the noise gate will get it, but probably not.

Then we come back and go, hope the noise gate will get it, right? God damn it, Brian. I wasn't listening to you. That's all right. I believe you. All right. So this is a fun one. Black Swan nicknamed Mr. Terminator.

Fucking Mr. Hogbone, dude. Evicted from town. Carl Hogbone. After trying to drown local birds Good Lord What a nightmare You must all die This has a couple different facets to it

That interested me A black swan has been removed From the Stratford Upon Avon After it became aggressive With the area's famous local mute swans They weren't speaking for themselves You know

Oh good They don't have an advocate kitten. Yeah. The bird, named by locals as Reggie and nicknamed Mr. Terminator was captured by Swan Warden, Cyril Bennett. Fucking what?

Do you have ranks? Swan warden? Oh, and he's been doing it a while. You ready? And it's now being held in a local park before he will be moved on to the Dowlish Waterfall Center in Devon.

DeVon. Mr. Benis, who has volunteered as Stratford upon Avon, Swan Warden for 45 years. What? Volunteered. Yeah. There's no way that was going to be a paying job. I just like punching swans. God.

Said that when Mr. Terminator first came to the town nine months ago, residents found it very exciting to have a black swan appear. The black swan, not native to British rivers, was so regal in many respects. A black swan is usually. bad luck, right? Black Swan event is usually terrible. Yeah. However, for some reason, this fellow, Mr. Terminator, as I called him, decided that this is quite a nice place, so during

the winter months, it was lovely to see. As word traveled about the black swan, everybody fell in love with him. According to Mr. Benis, who said there was no doubt about it, he became more popular than William Shakespeare himself. No doubt about it. That's a Swanwarden joke right there. Yeah, and that's high praise.

No one's just bringing that to the table. Unless you have 45 years. I mean, he's seen it all. Of Swan Ward experience. When it comes to swans, try to show him something he hasn't seen before. I guess picture Mr. Benis going through, like, the Indeed website, and, like, looking for job matches, and it's like looking for a Swan Ward,

and he's like, got it. Honey! Told you! There's no way. You said it would never happen. And he gets the email, he goes, we love overview, or look at over your application. However, we found someone with 46 experience

volunteering a swan award. He's like, bullshit! I'll take no pay. They're like, you got it. You got it, buddy. Everyone was coming to Stratford to see the black swan. On the one hand, it was great. On the other hand, it caused a bit of a nervousness in a sense

because we didn't want it to settle him and we didn't want it to get too familiar with our mute swans. Now he's playing matchmaker? Oh, they just, do they not honk? I don't know. The Mute Swans? Stratford upon Avon is hoping. to a flock of around 60 mute swans, famous for their S-shaped neck and orange bill with

a black base and a black bump. I'm guessing it's the classic swan. It's the classic swan. Okay. We didn't want any hanky-pankies or intergation going on in regards to the mute swan, Mr. Benis said, but after a few months, Mr. Terminator showed another side. The darkest side of our Mr. Terminator happened when he started to muscle in on a pair of our residents with a young signet, signet, signet. What is it? I can't see. I was, I was looking

at mute swan. So, side net, maybe signaut. Let's go with that. Sounds good. Yeah. Side note. And then things got a bit nasty. He kicked out the male and the signet. Skynet. Skynet. He tried to take over its territory with the other female. Mr. Terminator then started trying to drown and get aggressive with the mute swan. Good Lord, dude. Say something. Oh, I'm so pretty! Look at me, I'm white. Look at me, you're all perfectly white with my yellow bill with a black bulb. With my S-shaped neck.

S-shaped neck this, motherfucker. Oh, now you can talk. Yeah. Oh, no, I'm good. Yeah. It's hard to hear you honking under water. What's that? Oh, quit fucking your wife.

I'm fucking you. Mr. Terminator then started trying to drown him. The Swan Warden said he was reluctant to remove the black swan saying I was going to be damned if I did and damned if I didn't. Yeah, that's what happens. I hear you. Swan Warden, voluntary Swan Warden is not a job for everybody. No. It needed to move on, he said.

And then he drowned that motherfucker. Just took it by a Y-shaped neck of it. By it slightly escherved. Inferior S-shaped neck The process of removing the black swan Wasn't easy, said Mr. Benes Who is still recovering As his chest remains a little bit sore

But he managed to calm down the bird And bag him up In the holding area What the fuck's happening in Stratford Upon Avon? Kids are crying Mute swans are like Yes! Yes! Get them out of here!

They're finally speaking up He killed my kids Yeah, and I fuck your wife Oh Oh man Today the river is quiet And the mute swans are just relaxing Now that Mr. Terminator's gone

I don't know if this is the dumbest thing I've ever said Wouldn't the goose be like I'll be back I'm sorry I'll leave I'll be quack And here comes Mr. Bennis With the Shakespeare shit again

It's like a play out of Shakespeare Things are calm and it's just settling down. Okay. He likes two things. Shakespeare and fucking wrangling black swans. Dominating swans and wrangling. And having the Shakespeare.

Yeah, no, keeping swans from fucking and quoting Shakespeare. Fucking Mr. Benis, dude. Swanwarden. God, what a wild scene. Look at this. Here's a little picture of this guy. He's bagged up and he's pissed. Oh, I have a red beak.

Can't go anywhere. Look when he's, look, he backed him up, like, those little, you pull up, like, a baby or some milk cartons in behind your bike. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, definitely Mr. Benis is riding a bike. Volunteer Swanward doesn't. Look at in the, the little caption underneath for his anti-social behavior. After anti-social behavior, hostile swan. That's a no.

That's a bad swan. No. No. Mr. Terminator will be removed. Oh, man. No. Dude, there's always one in the grid for a group. Yeah, all right.

You want to take the next story? Sure. It's a dozy. This motherfucker. Curious what you guys would do. French influencer jailed for six months over fake syringe attack prank video.

God. What? Not funny, bro. A French influencer has been jailed for six months for faking syringe attacks on unsuspecting members of the public in a viral prank video

like how is this a prank no people think they're going to die look at you you were so fucking scared you have AIDS here sign this release form yeah right Elon M

who goes by online handle Amin Mojito was arrested after the video shared on TikTok shortly after the Fete de la music

World Music Day in June sparked widespread outrage in the clip captioned Mohito and bequeer the mad stinger

a 27-year-old pretended to inject people with an empty syringe and film their horrified reactions I thought he's wearing a little

mouth or a mask whatever there face mask a sick pranks a mouth face the sick pranks

caused a stir in France coming out of the country was gripped in panic over reports of needle attacks at student parties in festivals. God. Police received 145 reports of needle spiking during the June music festival

although a few concrete cases were found. I didn't even know that was a thing. Did you? Well, that you'd be just out and about enjoying your day and then someone would come up and inject you with some shit. I mean, I've heard of stories, but I It was like a thing that was happening.

I think I did know that it was, because it was, there were talks of like people wanting to avoid big crowds because stuff like that was happening. I have a small memory of that now that you mentioned it, but I'm not, I don't, I don't know. But it wasn't. We read so much on the internet. I have no idea. But this, this prank must have been after all the, because those things were going on. Yeah, exactly. So is this guy actually sticking a needle in their arm or was he just like given a little poke like it was a fake?

like one of those ones of the knives that go in go in I mean he could even be just cutting the needle part off yeah and then you just get close to him and if you watch the video

you can see he's like deliberately just trying to get them to notice busy guy it's about his RV what is it I check I check up

is it a Gmail no just video post cool YouTube notification Hell yeah, brother. So I'm guessing... I gotta go do some prank vids. I'm guessing maybe the needle

just wasn't there, like that, and then you turn around and you see a syringe and then you're tied to other recent events and you just freak out. Of course you'd freak out. Fuck this guy. You'd run to probably to a hospital. Yeah. That's what I would do.

Or like, can you suck it out? Like, sucking out the poison into a snake bite? I think once it hits your blood, depending on what it is. So, like, someone picks you, you're like, oh. And it gets in your mouth, though, and that's just as bad. Yeah, then you just do that. If you get AIDS in your mouth, is it bad? Yes.

Even if you don't want AIDS in your mouth, no. Like, I wonder if that question's ever been asked in a doctor's office. Any questions for me? Mm-hmm. Just one. Just one. If you get AIDS in your mouth, is that bad? And he's like, yes.

It's not great. Not ideal. Could it be worse? Yeah. Is it bad? Yeah. All right. Thank you.

Do we need to check you out further? Nope. I haven't had any AIDS in my mouth yet. Just, you know, you might end up in a situation where you end up with some maids in your mouth. I just need to know what's the protocol here. What I should do if that happens. This isn't a prank. I'm happy that he got in, like, big trouble.

There are certain things that. They've taken prank videos too far. where if you're if you're impeding on someone's like physical space or like touching them and doing shit like there was that video that dude that got shot oh yeah at the mall because that you guy was being pranked and he took out of gun and shot him in the stomach

at some point it's like that something like that needs to happen to just keep people in check right because you think like because I think he was like physically like doing something to him scaring him you know it's like fuck you yeah if one of them's gotta

fucking get shot i think we talked about that on the on the podcast at one point was he pretending to take his credit card information or something i forget i think that was a different one this was like a dude that seemed like he was kind of homeless yeah i think he was just fucking

with homeless people or something i think a lot to a lot to do with how corrupt we or where pranks went and how there was no line drawn was what we were raised on and that was jackass calling their stuff pranks

when they would literally like flip them upside down in a porta potty and then like and then shoot fireworks off and hit them in the face with a bottle rocket but those they were all in on it

exact but we watched that and we're like oh yeah that's funny because it's a prank no it's funny because it's insane and it's not happening to you yeah it's the way the only reason that works is because they're all

they've all signed off on if something crazy happens, I've accepted it because I'm part of the shit. If you're just going up to someone in the middle of street and you're like pricking him with something or doing, like they have, I would think you'd have every right to fucking beat the shit out of them. And that's what happened in a lot of these. I mean, he just got chased around, but he does not show him getting caught. But I'm glad he got in trouble.

There was that dude Vitaly, that Russian guy. He's actually in jail. somewhere now i think but like he would go up into the ghetto and just like fuck with like gangsters and then they'd run around and have a gun fall out remember like a gun fall out of his pants or something like that or pull their pants up or down he he did that he did that whole thing that right of the bath salts where he was in miami and he acted like he was a zombie and like chasing people around and he is doing that in the fucking hood oh man that's There was a guy that would walk up and he would just go up to like dudes that were like in gangs.

He'd walk up to a group of guys and just be like, he'd like step up to him like he's going to fight and they would look at him. He'd just be like, what's up, girl? He was going to fight him. What are you doing? Getting clicks. Yeah. Getting a bunch of clicks. Got addicted.

A video took off and now he'll do anything. Yeah. And you keep up in the stakes. At some point you're going to get shot. I guess you've accepted that too. you will get you'll die uh so um yeah just a lesson in don't fake stab people with syringes that's not a prank not a prank at all no yeah that's not it's not scaring somebody that's not that's not tricking somebody that's them fearing that they're going to die it's terrorizing someone

can we say that's terrorism yeah yeah sure he's a terrorist right there's no political motivation but for all intents and purposes why not yeah why not i get it you can be a terrorist without being political can you no no that's one of the death that's part of the the definition. That is the definition. Violence with a political motivation. My guess. Like, if you go into a place and you shoot up a fucking

building, they just call a mass shooting, that should be an act of terrorism. If it's over a political ideology, it would be. How about that? Semantics. Semantics. All right, let's move off to our next one. All right.

Zeus is here. For the golden geese. Jordan Holiday. Matthew Leonard George Tosato Jason Kleiser Neil Daphne Matt Johnston

Daniel Collier Sofa King Maggie Stokes Daniel Spittad Joey Hogbone You left Number 11 in Joey Hogbone? Yeah

Welcome to the fucking gaggle Hogbone Mr. Hogbone The doctor was see you down, Mr. Hogbone. Mr. Hogbone. I bet he will.

Yeah, sure, yeah, thank you guys so much. Golden Goose tier. It's full right now. We've talked about maybe expanding a little bit. If we do, we'll let you guys know. But thanks to everyone who supports us at that $100 tier.

And goes a long way. Yeah, you get the personalized thank you video and, of course, mentioned on every single episode. This, I guess, could be classified as a prank. Terrorism? If you're fucking, nope, not terrorism. Brian, just over, you're trying to rewrite the definition of terrorism today.

I want some terrorism. That's all I want. Terror. Woman behind hoax threat at Joint Base MDL in New Jersey wanted to trauma bond with coworkers. Sounds like terrorism. This smells. This smells of terrorism. This reeks of terrorism.

Malika Brittingham, the woman in custody for making a false report of an active shooter at a joint base causing a lockdown wanted to quote trauma bond with her coworkers because i just want to be friends i just want i'm terrible at meeting people i just i don't have any good icebreakers i'm desperate for friends i don't want to talk about the weather i needed something else which i get yeah a i'm fucking i hate talking about the weather a criminal complaint filed you know what i hate is uh when it gets smoky around here and the Pacific Northwest.

Smokey, yeah? I had a meeting with an old friend I don't know, a month or two months ago now. And that was right before I left, I talked to Cassie. I was like, how many seconds in do you think until one of us mentions how smoky it is outside? And she goes, well, you're not going to do it. I was like, I'm going to try not to, but I can't, I don't know.

And she goes, well, hopefully you got, and we didn't. No one mentioned it. And I'm proud. That's probably why we were friends. You know what I mean? Yeah. He's walking, like, man, smoky out there. but it's every conversation with fire season hits up here in the

there's a dad that every every time I see him the first thing he says is nice day huh yep anything else that's what I basically go yeah it's lovely and then like that's it I'm like I'm not taking this any further yeah lovely so hand job still 50 bucks a criminal complaint god damn this smoke is bad today so

Rim job still 80 bucks He's a guy Wouldn't be comfortable with that conversation So maybe I should start doing it That's why you start doing it All right I love you Try that one A criminal complaint filed in federal court

Said Brittingham Who works for the naval air Warfare center in Maryland Dude McKita Brittingham That's a fucking name It's good I mean Does it sound like someone

Who'd call it a fake shooting No No But assigned to the joint base MDL texted someone around 1015 a.m. writing that a shooter was on her base. Real quick, sorry. I said Makita. It's Malika. Malika. Malika bearing him, which is tougher to say. Makita. Makita. Makita. Like Lefem, Nikita.

Yeah. Right. So she texted that she had heard five or six shots and that she was hiding in a closet with coworkers. When she's sitting there crafting it, she's like, how many shots did I say there were? If I say there's two, if I say there's two, it's not that serious. She's doing research on how many bullets fit in a magazine for a certain type of gun. ChatGBT. Write me a text message about an active shooter that makes me sound friendly, but not too desperate. But confident and secure. What have Chad GBT?

I'm having a really hard time making friends at work. What should I do? And chat CBC is like, don't worry. A lot of us have a hard time making friends. Here's what I do. Set out a fake shooter alert. Would you like me to craft one for you? Would you like me to make it humorous and witty?

Humorous or more professional? Do a little bit of both. Okay, no problem, Magida. That sounds great. Here you go. Magica? What's it? What was your name?

Malika. Malika. Fucking butcher. Macheca? I don't know. A text prompted a lockdown order just before 11 a.m. After the person she texted, called the bases operating center in 9-1-1, reeling that Brittingham told her, the lockdown, which drew statewide attention in multiple social media posts from

Governor Phil Murphy was lifted. after base officials determined there was actually no shooter. Our priority is the safety and security of everyone on the installation. Sorry, I was just was picturing like, is there an active shooter? Everyone's like, shh, shh. No? I don't hear anything. I think we're good.

You think maybe they're just not shooting right now? Be like, that's not, I mean, I've been involved in, this is America. I've been involved in 15 to 60 active shooter situations, and you definitely hear it. There's a pattern. Yeah, they're not quiet. Yeah, they don't usually keep it down, all right? No one's throwing silencers on their fucking, on their ARs. Okay, Brad.

Jesus, sorry. So, no, there's not one. Okay. She now faces counts of knowingly conveying false and misleading information related to the use of firearms their federal facility. According to a criminal complaint filed by federal prosecutors, it wasn't known back on Wednesday if she retained an attorney. No one cares about how big the base is, but they included that information as well. um that that is a i mean trauma bonding is powerful sure it is so when you're in a lonely spot

and you're just trying to relate to somebody i get the motivation god and it's funny because she didn't like lie to the whole base she lied to somebody that she was talking to so maybe that person maybe she's trying to one up the trauma she was like nope like i just i have a lot to deal with right now someone broke into my house and like we were threatened they should shot my brother and took all of our stuff. She goes, God, that's never happened to me. How can I show her that I get it? You know what? I'm going to say there's an active shooter at a naval base. I need to feel like true empathy in order to have this conversation. Right. And so she just went

way too far the other direction and now she's fucked. So there's that. What's going to happen to her? I don't know. About to find out. He's going to get a roommate named Babetti. Yeah. Hogbone. Hogbone in the house. You'll live with Josephine Hogbone. Inmate hogbone. Hogbone? Yes. Johnson. Anderson.

What do you want? Present. Hogbone. Harley just reps? Okay, okay, okay. You get it. For the last time, you can't have a Harley in prison, Mr. Hogbone. Well, I fucking do.

We can do that, nerd. How does he fit it up his ass? you'd be surprised god damn it who who didn't expect Hogbone when he came in from work release

you gotta get way up there you know he can we've done this 15 16 fucking times Hogbone can fit almost any size Harley up his ass

sure can Rhyr Hurt his fan cheek slavin loud pop Save Lof Yhoo

not saving your life you're on death row hog bone fuck you officer what's for lunch what's for lunch diesel are there any diesel motorcycles maybe the ones that are really fast

the ones that race like land jet fuel ones okay all right we have some good news should we hog off to it yeah Zach please so you're telling me there's a chance Hooray, we aren't doomed Yeah!

All right, bright guy, you want to take this one? You want me? This is some great news. Um, I will take it. Yeah, you take it. I'm going to take it real good. Yeah, fucking deep. Gavin Newsom signs bill that restricts loudness of commercials on streaming services. Oh, yeah!

That's a big news. That is a problem. That is a problem. That is hilarious because... What? It seems like it wouldn't be like a... A thing? The thing it would make it to the top.

And I believe what we have covered on this show when they started doing regulations for just TV shows, too. So now it looks like it's branching over to streaming. And we worked in television, commercial television, and radio. I've watched a lot of TV in my day, too. So I'm very familiar with this. And on regular TV, it does seem like commercials have gotten a little better. Like, you're not just watching something. And then it's just like, Budweiser!

Like, it's just, everything's toned down a little bit. So I think it's working. and now they're going into the streaming side of things which I like hang on

I got ads popping up all over the fucking place here we go was yours a shoe ad I didn't even look at I just got rid of it okay streaming services

in California will have to ensure that their commercials are no long no louder than the show surrounding them you'd think that

I'm not a not like a TV guy technician or like a an audio guy But you'd think that the station that's running all this stuff

would have a limiter, right? Yeah, and that is true. I bet you a lot of them do have a limiter. But when it comes to audio and movies and shows, there's a lot more of a dynamic flow within like a movie and show. When it comes to a commercial, it's compressed and it's smashed

to be as big and loud as possible. So even though the show itself is like, Yeah, because that's how real life is. So they want the ups and down, it's the dynamic feel of a show. And then the commercial comes in, it's just like, Johnson Motors! Yeah. Tell them the bones, sent you.

You're like, Jesus, J.B. Trucks, trucks, and more trucks. We're going bankrupt. Harley Davidson. Ah! Cruise on down to Joey Hogbone. Tell them the Hogbone sent you. We're having our 25th.

the annual crawfish fucking cookout Crawfee and cook out Yeah Woo Let's see Don't tell him Joey Hogbone Never told you nothing

Don't tell you Don't tell him Hogbone never told you nothing There's a lot of English mistakes Don't tell nobody Hogbone never told nothing It's like Open every day, close on Sunday

Joey Hogbone It's not responsible Responsible for anything he ever says. Gavin Newsom signed a bill SB 576 that bars the services from transmitting the audio of commercial advertisements louder than the video content

the advertisements company. It's a weird sentence. Did I read it weird? Legislation cleared the legislator with no opposition. What? The legislation cleared the legislature with no opposition.

Perfect. I'm just glad their priorities are right. Yeah. I mean, everything. Nailed it California. Everything else is just perfect. Homeless is out of control. Make sure those commercials are... We, next bill will be to turn down the homeless population.

No, no one... Put a muffler over the... Yeah, SB 577 will be homeless people aren't allowed to be louder than other people. Fuck yeah, California. Volume stuff! We heard California loud and clear.

Like the commercials. get it. And what's clear is that they don't want commercials at a volume any louder than the level at which they were previously enjoying a program. Such a fucking political response. They also want to be able to afford a house. You know what's

funny about that is I have nothing to back this up but it'd be funny if they were just like it's the Republicans commercials are too loud and like that's what got a it's all these Republican own ear monitoring companies. They're trying to hurt your

earring, or hearing. Your earring. Can't rip your earrings out. Oh, speaking of earrings. All the liberals, all the fags run around here. To blow your eardrums out. What? All right. So that's the good news. I hope it passes across the board.

But I also hope they regulate the intros and outros of these shows is what concerns me. One in particular is Schitt's Creek. What the fuck's going on with that show? And if you watch it, you know what I'm talking about. The intro and the outro are

easily 70 decibels higher than the rest of the show. And it's like funny music, like bing, bong, bing, bong. And then the rest of it's like, and then the episode ends and you're like, you're sleeping and they just go and then it's going, boom, boom, boom,

you're like, fuck. I wanted to go to sleep to this show. Now I'm awake again. So California, work on that next and avoid everything else. Start with Schitt's Creek. Start with Schitt's Creek and we'll work our way back. All right. This is something I found on the internet didn't know existed. Zach!

The internet is pretty wild. Depending on your browsing habits, you can either experience something super cool or go to prison. Crazy, right? Let's check it out. Together, as a couple. Hey, look what I found. Yes!

That's awesome. I'm pictured it's a merch, like a fake motorcycle bar. I think it says Joey Hogbone. Mm-hmm. Joey Hogbone's Bar and Grill. Yeah, Hogbones Bar and Grill. We'll get to work on that. Hogbones.

You guys, I'm sure, I've heard of snake charming, right? Yeah. Brumley's Bayton. Yeah, who hasn't, right? Did you guys know that there is such thing as worm charming? Did not. No. Didn't realize that had to be a thing.

Yeah. So this is in the heart of Cheshire's tranquil countryside, the annual earthly competitions come alive with an electrifying challenge the World Worm Charming Championship originating back in 1980 by John Bailey the deputy headmaster of Williamston County Primary School his peculiar let captivating contest

grants each competition a modest three by three meter plot in 30 minutes to lure the elusive worms out of the ground. Three by three meters, huh? Yep. And then what's that? 760 fucking grams of turkey. like what the fuck are we talking

what the fuck's a kilometer it's a little shorter in a meter isn't it or is it longer than a meter way longer than a meter way longer than a meter uh so I have a little video oh no sorry it's a yeah you're saying mile I was thinking meter not a yard I was thinking meters to yard sorry and then yes kilometers to miles

so look at this goofy shit check this out oh look at the nipples on her I mean what worm charm yeah you've got the ability to waggle his four back and two or in a circular motion which is called twiggling

or we can tweak which is such a distance so they're shoving a shovel in the ground and beating it with wood come on come on and they have been known to switch over

from one side of the field to another to avoid bringing up again oh Jesus dressing up as a bird why would that wouldn't that make him not want to come out the worms would charm out of the ground today

are down under the ground so down into the ground we do worm Australia connection really what that was like that was the ultimate high thought that guy just gave is that because the worms are in the ground they're basically trying to drag bring them away from australia because they're on the other side of the planet and he's just so fucking happy that he's saying this on camera right now

they don't really want to go to australia they won't be over here so we want to get him out of o'ad he so that's the connection to australia and he's been trying to get on camera for 15 years to share this little thought that he's had and finally he got to do it. 2025 was his year. Yeah. This guy's dressed up.

Yeah, it looks like a penis, but I'm guessing it's a worm. I look ridiculous. There are various techniques that you can try. It's supposed to be the way that you hit the fork and mimic the rain that attracts them to the surface. They'd have no success with that. So we thought we'd try doing it by dressing up and singing as well. There is something for everybody.

Yeah, this is so funny. Look at these. It's a family. They're just tapping the ground. With the aid of Gillies, that's the people who can help you get the worms. Thank you, Charles Darwin. Yeah. Here's the winning.

So then they count the worms. And then we have the winners. Look at these fucking worms. That's so exciting. Okay, we've got a big board. They're tracking it. Oh, they got stats. Trophy presentation.

Do they store the worms in the trophy bowl? She's rookie of the year. Fantastic. Great job. Well done. Okay. So, there were five of us. We're on a tag team plot, so we kept on swapping. World champion.

I got to eat them. And we just used two garden forks and kind of rocked them back and forth and then um, use something to. Roped him back and forth. We got loads of worms. So when I was a kid, people, I love events like this. Just keep doing weird shit out there, guys. When I was a kid, my, uh, dad's neighbor, Ron,

oh, okay. Used to. His name was Ron. yeah okay you're still not off the hook yet what's next he so so they would go fishing I did have fish lot and stuff and so we'd go over to this you know little patch of grass and he would put the stakes in the ground the electric uh-huh so we'd put the I'd help him I was just a little little guy help him put the rods and the stakes into the grass turn on electricity and the snakes would come up out of the ground snakes or worms sorry worms would come up

terrifying. It's like bullet constrictors and rattlesnakes coming out of the ground. You disturbed us. Jesus, Ron! No, they would come out of the ground and I would have to, I'd go around and grab them and collect them and put them in a little thing. And that was one of the activities on like a little Saturday. A little electric worming. Oh, man.

I've never, I've never done. I don't want to do that. We should do it sometime. That'd be fun. We should come up with some kind of weird event. Like what? For Kenya. I don't know.

Some kind of goose thing? It's got to be a goose thing or a wiener thing. Those two things could be the same thing. Dude, goose charming. Jerking off in a Home Depot. Whoever can go the longest is not getting bitten by a goose. There you go. Like out on the island.

We'll go get the terminator. I heard Zach say the shed. Whoever could come in it the fastest in a shed. In a low's parking lot? Doesn't have to go to jail? I bet we got a lot of competitors listening. Oh, the loser has to go to. jail right yeah yeah that's it

your first second and third place first doesn't you have to go to prison for or jail for a decent exposure two only gets like an overnight and then third place gets one week mr meaner everyone else gets three months missed your weiner and 10% off merch yeah 10% off the new joey hogbone t-shirt and that's all you have to jerk off

to it's hanging up in the shed dude his name should be ronald hogbone Ronnie Ronnie Ronnie hogbone Ronnie hogbone Ronnie hogbone dude All right Let's get out of here

Let's hear from the kids Zach please thanks All right Let's hear what you guys think Really? You want to talk to me? Wow That's cool

It's quite the adventure You want me to take this one When do you want me to take Or you take it I want to prove to you That I can read it All right Well I'll get my eyes fixed

Okay This is going to be good First email is a saga coming in from our son, Kyle. Okay. He writes, Sup fuckers. It's your unicycling, juggling, juggling, retard son again.

And I got a double story for you today. Woo! Yeah! So my, no. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So my son's husband died. Exactly.

Sorry, that was exact. I was just impressed. Yeah, he did. I was there. Exactly. Just an ill-timed. And I did it. It's mostly what I do is doing ill-time things.

Ill-time confessions. Ill-time insertions. Nice. My bad. Okay, this again. This is going well. And my mom's birthday was pretty soon after, and because she's not doing great health-wise or grief-wise, she decided to do a road trip.

On the eastern U.S., which fucking sucks, if you didn't know, everything is flat and boring and so much goddamn corn everywhere, not a single mountain, just some covered corn covered hills. Anyways, my mom's shoulder's bad, so I drove the 30 foot long and full parking space wide RV for a full week. I ended up being pretty, I ended up

being pretty sleep deprived, very fast because my mom has sleep apnea and my choices were run the generator all night, every night, or hear a fucking freight train snore all night. Eventually, we got to Lake Erie,

which was so cool. I guess the most of the time my mom had no we gotta try that just try that sense one more time yeah just can't do that we're gonna do it one more time I know you can do it you can't just do that let's try it again I know I added so in there I don't even know what happened you you messed up just one

yeah and then from there it was a panic started just making stuff up then you just restructured the whole thing so that so made sense the post correcting so we just can't yeah because he says cool I guess yeah you're like it was so cool and you're like

oop you're like where am I gonna go from here eventually we got to Lake Erie which was cool I guess and most of the time my mom had been laying in the back in bed watching TV like I said she's not doing great well we needed gas

and I needed to shit and get some caffeine so we stopped at a loves truck stop I went in, took a leisurely dump, and got what I wanted, and went outside. My mom was in the RV when I started pumping gas. I remember because I talked to her. You can tell it is because the way it is.

You can tell it's an aspirin because of the way it is. I went outside and finished pumping gas, so I hopped in and looked to the back and thought, I saw her under a pile of blankets and said, all right, you ready? To no response. So naturally, I figured she was asleep and started the RV up and got the driving.

Probably should have done a little shaky poo. Oh, yeah. Sure. I'm enjoying the drive. I got sweets, caffeine, and a solid playlist going when my mom calls me, so I holler back to her, why are you calling him 20 feet away from you? I answer with the same line. She says, no, I'm still at the fucking truck stop. Whoops.

Whoops. I had driven maybe 15 minutes by this point and thought she was fucking with me, and I laughed and realized that she was not, in fact, messing with. me, and I had actually abandoned my poor old sick mother at a loves in the middle of nowhere in a western part of New York. Ah, they got a glory hole. She'll be fine. Yeah.

I pooped a U-turn and then pulled in to see my clearly sad mom in a smile. It'll make your day t-shirt. Shaking her head at me as I pulled in the truck stop. Not smiling. Yeah. She's just like, smile, it'll make your day. Oh, man. later that week

I stayed in an actual RV park which was not my speed but my mom wanted a fire so I tried to make a fire but alas we had no axe so my Colorado and ass was like I don't know why I added the tea

like who needs kindling me I do that's it so I failed to make a fire in front of a bunch of flatlanders looking like a foolish man a guy did give me an axe briefly and I got the fire going

Obviously the subject line doesn't have Failed to make a fire like an idiot It says covered in shit So The next morning we're leaving And we decide to empty the gray and black water tanks Which is never Oh man I was never done before

I'm a man though And I understand things By looking at them once I briefly It once briefly so I got to work At the dump station and the RV rental people said to do the black water first and the gray so it kind of cleans it

yeah okay so I took so I hook all the hoses up and let the black water rip my watch as shit flows down oh god down the hose until bam

the in hooked to the RV oh this is so fun as a person who's done this before it's wonderful the end hooked to the RV burst off and splattered me belly down in shit and piss

my own my own and my mothers which I don't know if that's worse or better than any other options I react fast and shut the valve stopping the great shit splattering of 25 and then covered in Duky finish the job

of emptying the tanks while ignoring my mom asking questions and talking to me that too like when something's having your wife's like what if you just you're like shut the fuck up I am covered in shit. I will strangle you. Now is quiet time.

Like this is moments where wives get killed because they're talking. Well, but you should have done it. How does that help? Eventually, I turned to her and say, please stop talking. I'm covered in shit. And I obviously not in a talking mood right now. My mom will do the thing where we'll be like setting something up. we've gone camp before and

I was like trying to hook all this shit up and like in blow up air matches and she kept saying I should have brought my my uh um yeah the pump the pump she said I should have brought him pump and then I'm like still struggling like a few minutes later it's like

ah man I should have brought my pump and it took and you're like it took everything I had to not tell my mom to shut the fuck up like well you did it how does that help yes it would have been great but we don't have it, so stop saying it. So let's blow, yeah, let's just blow this thing up. I wish you did too.

Mm-hmm. We're done. I'm obviously not in talking mood. Yep. So she got, she soon, fuck you. She soon got the idea, yeah. She soon got the idea and grabbed me new clothes from inside, and I went to the shower at the RV park, uh, had nearby. I was in there for a solid 40 minutes and scrub my, scrub myself countless times.

Anyways, thought of you guys would get a kick out of these stories. Also, fuck you. Hotter balloons aren't scary. Oh, that is a, and I love that this story, because if I'm remembering correctly, Kyle wrote in and he was sharing like some bad news that his stepdad had passed away. And it was like pretty sad. And I think that was the last that we heard. He was going to go home.

It was going to be kind of like a big, pretty big financial strain to get back and make sure mom's okay. So he does all that and then he gets back and all this shit happens. Kyle hang in there You're a good son It can't all go bad Like this all just happened Like I'm piecing the whole storyline together

But he went back I praised him for doing the right thing And making it all work And being there for his mom And then the next time we hear from him He's covered in shit Wanting to strangle his mom No good deed goes unpunished

Kyle we love you We sure do buddy Alright our next story Coming in from our son Sean who writes, and it's a very short one, I keep forgetting to write this in, and I've been a bad boy not keeping up on the podcast. You son of a bitch! But this last episode I listened to, you, Joe, you, Joe, spoke about how your neighbor finally caved in and said, love you too. I responded to this email. It was not my neighbor.

It was my girlfriend's ex-husband. So it's a little more awkward than just telling it to my neighbor. Yeah, the neighbor was just the dick for the parking spot. Yeah, the parking spot stuff. I have for years now, because it brings me such joy for no reason, telling people, friends, family, randoms, whenever they leave, okay, drive safe, love you, bye. Even when it's just my friend going to bet, and they aren't driving anywhere. I love this. Even when I'm online playing games with friends.

Yeah. But now, because I did it at work, my coworkers now say it whenever we're splitting up to go to our, do our job at other properties or even just going to different apartments to do work. Okay, drive safe. Love you. Bye. It is a fun little addition to add on. Drive safe. Even if they aren't driving anywhere. So now that your neighbor said, I love you back, add in that drive safe part, even if it was just him grabbing his mail. Honestly, his face of confusion most likely make will give you joy for the rest of the day.

You're okay, good luck. Love you. Drive safe. Son, Sean. The thing is great about that is they're probably going to go in there and tell their wife too like i gotta drive somewhere i don't know what's up with joe i think he's high he's like told me to drive safe or he's like me am i supposed to be driving somewhere and wait am i late did i talk to him today monday you're just fucking around you end up saving his ass he's late for something yeah all right well that's one seven four of the can you don't podcast seven four uh make sure you go online scatcast dot com and pick up those tickets for the can you scat fest we have going on November 1st, all the details

there on the web page. Reminder, that's Scatcast and that's Scat with a K. K. K. K. Hawkingthons on. Brian's going to go get his fucking eyes checked. Sign up, support us on Patreon. It's a gigantic way to make sure this show can keep going. Rate and review us, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And a big thanks

to Uncle Zach. Yeah, you producing today's show. You got a bunch of cards. We sent you a bunch of pictures. I'm excited to see this next batch of the can you don't scatcast card crossover. I've never made so many cards in my life It's been a lot of stuff But yeah I can't wait for you guys to see

Your guys' cards They're pretty cool I'm gonna see all them fucking cards I saw him last night Yeah you fucking did Thanks to the babysitters To moderate the Can You Don't Playground on Facebook

You guys are superheroes in my eyes All right let's wrap this thing up Zach Good God Wrap it up already, huh? I just happened to glance down I saw the joke I usually try to avoid

wait it in you wrote it in well thanks for ruining it we still laugh yeah what's still funny oh what's a vampire's favorite fruit oh a nectarine get it yeah because yeah because of your neck because your neck because your neck stuff all right off to the bonus content we love you guys thank you so much bye I'm going to be. I'm going to be. You know, I don't know

a a Thank you.