Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - 15 Red Flags to Look Out for in Relationships, Part 2

Episode Date: July 10, 2023

Aim of the game? Get wind of the red flags BEFORE you get in too deep, and then run a mile in the opposite direction. Let's go! ​For more awesome content to read including beauty, fashion or dating & love features, please do head over to my digital platform www.nixalina.com. Don't be shy, come say hai! Head over to my Instagram or Tiktok to slide into my DMs.

This podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships, sex, and love. It may not be suitable for younger listeners. This is the Can't Keep My Mouth Shut podcast, and I am Nick Salina. Red flags are now like the buzzword when it comes to the dating world and relationships, of course, because red flags can materialize when they weren't there at the beginning. Because there are so many red flags and I obviously want to talk about them in depth, this is going to be a part one and part two kind of situation. So tonight we have eight to 15 points.

Red alert. Red alert. Point eight leads me on to the crazy ex syndrome in a very similar vein, but it might not be about cheating. It might be other things. If they have a billion crazy exes, that's an issue. My fiance's sister-in-law, I remember when I met her and she was staying at our house with us and she said to me oh thank god I finally got a sister-in-law

that's not crazy and I felt very special because I was like oh yeah I'm the non-crazy one lol like no and now in hindsight I realize that he makes every girlfriend look fucking crazy because he treats us so badly and bullies us and manipulates us that we then turn crazy if this person in your life says every ex is crazy please look at the common denominator as to why it's him red alert red alert point nine um if they're addicts or they're substance abuse um this is tricky but honestly run uh they only want to they only want to help themselves when they want to help themselves so if they are hiding alcohol abuse drug abuse anything gambling addictions hooker addiction whatever it is just run if it's a substance abuse or an addiction

that's a very unhealthy person you are not their mother you are not their caregiver you are not the person to look after him you are a person in your own right it's a 50 50 partnership and this is not going to be a healthy relationship so i'm really sorry but if you meet someone and you find out early on that there's an abuse there of substances and or some insane addiction please leave right alert right alert point 10 they're isolating you from your friends and family this is another given nobody in their right mind she was after healthy love a healthy relationship would want to do that so um yeah I don't think it's fair or fun at all to have someone try and alienate you from people that you care about the most and who does that like if you want a healthy

love and you want to be in someone's life and you genuinely love them you want to encourage them to have the most incredible connections, you aren't going to try and make them feel like there is nobody there for them. And you know who does that? Fucking toxic assholes like, I'm the only one that loves you. Everyone else is trying to get you. I'm the only one that puts you first. No, and it happens so much. If you feel yourself slowly being isolated away from friends and family, I'm telling get rid of that person and everything will change right alert right alert point 11 they refuse to put a label on it or commit now is this borderline yellow flag yes because there are many reasons why people don't want to commit maybe it's not the right time maybe they've been hurt before and

maybe it's it's just where they are right now or maybe they are unsure about you and it hasn't been long enough yet maybe they're traveling loads I don't know right like if they don't want to commit or put a label on it there is loads of scenarios why but I've often found actually that men that go I don't want a relationship I don't want to commit it's because they want a billion pussies and not just one and they're not if they're not in the right space still like why are you staying around there's no reason to stick around you can't convince them otherwise never have i ever been with a guy who's like yeah i'm just not into a relationship at the moment and managed to change his mind never i've just dated him for months

thinking that i could and i got hurt no if they make it very clear then it's been made clear Take that as your red flag, or even if it's a yellow flag, I don't care. Let them wave it and let you walk away. Red alert. Red alert. Point 12, anger, outbursts and temper issues. What did I just say earlier? My fiancé punched a wall in. He also smashed phones up.

He also bragged about punching cabinets at work and beating up bouncers. Like, hmm, yes. and I still went, oh, I love you anyway. No. If someone has a serious temper problem, they can't regulate their own emotions. If it's always when they're drunk, then they got to stop drinking. If it's like, oh yeah, but I made him do it. No, you didn't. You can't make anyone punch anything. You can't make anyone violent and angry. You can't make anyone raise their temper and oftentimes if they do have angry outbursts there's a serious issue but like all that and you are not a paid fucking therapist so you run red alert red alert point

13 there is a distinct lack of empathy this is a huge red flag empathy is part and parcel of what makes us beautiful humans and if you start to notice it oh you gotta leg it honestly so like my ex ex lived with me and the cats i used to watch him step over my cats who were lying on the floor as if they didn't exist and one time he like walked through her where she basically had to just get up and run away he'd been living with me for years at this point and i got terrified because I was like, what the fuck are you doing? And he was like, what? It wasn't even like it was a living thing

on the floor in front of him. It was like a cushion that you can just walk through. I was fucking raging. And then it turns out when we were splitting up and we had a fight, he grabbed a knife and ran after the cat. What a cunt. He's still in Singapore, by the way.

So if you're needing help on who to avoid, come at me. But yeah, complete lack of empathy towards animals. and then he would post his shit on his Instagram about charity work and all this stuff and I'm like you're so fake he gives no fucks about anyone but himself and that's shown and highlighted by the fact he's not even in the same country as his son because he don't care because no one comes above him not even his own child what a skanky man if you see this kind of lack of empathy run it don't change, it gets worse. It means that they don't actually understand how other people feel and they don't care. So when you're crying your eyes out or when you're really ill or when you're giving

birth or when you need the most, they will disappear because they don't give a fuck about how you feel. You're irrelevant to them. They have no empathy and they don't want to find empathy either. Run, run, run, run, run, especially if it's animals. Oh my God. If that person in any way shows you that they treat animals with a disdain or a negative no leg it trust me it always starts with animals you see that thing with serial killers what is it the three it's a three triad thing where it's bed wetting be used to animals and then something else when they're kids and that basically is a formula for serial killers i'm not saying you're dating a serial killer I'm just saying. Animals, kindness, lack of, run.

Red alert. Red alert. Point 14. Codependency. Are they dependent on you for everything? Do they turn up at your house? Do they turn up when you're out? Or you're having a girls' night and then they turn up. Hi, I missed you codependency is an issue is it a yellow flag it can be yes um but it just means that they're not in a healthy wholesome space as they are right they you can't have someone who is dependent on you and doesn't have their own friendships their own goals their own hobbies outside of the relationship if you feel like you can't breathe without them being around it's a problem because also these are the types of people that like they would threaten to do something serious you know

like take their own life or self-harm if you ever try to leave the relationship because they can't leave without you it's too much pressure on either one you deserve your freedom and they should have their own and if they don't and you see it quite early on i would run before it goes any further That is one hell of a toxic, suffocating relationship. Red alert. Red alert. And finally, point 15. Your gut instinct. Your gut instinct will be able to tell the red flag.

I fucking know. I know. Both times. Both narcissists. Covert and overt. I know both times. And I think deep down you will as well. never ever ever ignore your gut instinct I chose to ignore mine and I paid the price

when you got that niggling feeling inside of you or you can't put your finger on why that person you're like I don't know what it is but I have a problem with that person I don't know what it is but I don't trust you when you just said that that's that's your gut instinct that's your intuition and the most annoying part is you're you're always right I was always right with my gut instinct always and I chose to ignore it and I just wasted many months of my life when I could have got out a lot earlier you don't need to justify why you feel your way you feel about something and if that person sets off something in you where you just like I don't know man please listen to it you are tapping into some energy level shit in the universe that's trying

to help you out here and you won't regret leaving let me tell you that you won't regret it you'll regret staying if you ignore your gut instinct okay and that's us up to date thank you so much for listening to part one and part two of 15 red flags in relationships to look out for. I really hope these have helped. I hope that if you do see any of these, you do run a mile. I'd also love more red flags. I know these aren't the only ones. These are just the main ones in what I believed are the issues. But yeah, if you've got any more red flags, please come at me. I don't mean men today. Keep your red flags fuck away from me but if you want me to do another episode on this i can do a part three i can do a

part four we could go on and on and on and really nail down these red flags together as always just slide into my dms if you have anything you want to say it's at nixlina n-i-x-a-l-i-n-a and you can find me on instagram and tiktok thank you so much and i look forward to seeing you all next week Thanks for listening to the Can't Keep My Mouth Shut podcast, produced and hosted by me, Nick Salina. I'm recorded in the Splice Cast Studios in Singapore. I'm available to listen to on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google, and all major podcast listening apps.

Do subscribe to enjoy a new episode every Monday evening. Please do give me a five-star review. It helps other people also find my podcast. for more content and features to read you can check out my website nixalina.com that's nixalina.com i'm also on social media simply search at nixalina n-i-x-a-l-i-m-a to find me don't be shy come say hi