Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - 20 Signs He's a Fuckboy

Episode Date: May 29, 2023

Why is the world breeding fuckboys like there's some fuckboy farm out there making billions for every fuckboy let out into society? ​For more awesome content to read including beauty, fashion or dating & love features, please do head over to my digital platform www.nixalina.com. Don't be shy, come say hai! Head over to my Instagram or Tiktok to slide into my DMs.

This podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships, sex, and love. It may not be suitable for younger listeners. This is the Can't Keep My Mouth Shut podcast, and I am Nick Salina. Hi, it's me, Nick Salina. Welcome back to another episode of Can't Keep My Mouth Shut. this episode is 20 signs he's a fuck boy yeah so I touched upon this first ever ep first ever season many many years ago and I realized that then seven seasons on I haven't really fed back to the fuck boy narrative and it's such a buzzword that doesn't go away when you're dating and a guy can

do something or say something and your girlfriend's like, oh my god, he's such a fuckboy. Fuckboy. And you're like, but is he? Is he? And then you feel like an idiot if he turns out to actually be a fuckboy and you didn't notice yourself. Sigh. You know that sigh already. I don't need to explain that. So I figured I would help you, me, everyone with some blatant signs he's a fuck boy. Okay. And I've got 20. So I'm going to work fast through this list. Some of them will be fucking obvious. Some of them may be less obvious, but they all need to be kind of registered in your head if there are one or a few of these that pop up early on I'm sorry he is a fuck boy you need to leave if it's one thing it might be yellow red red yellow red flag it might be a yellow flag or it

might be a red flag but it's something you know the problem with spotting fuck boys and yellow flags and red flags is that they can overlap is they can be perhaps circumstantial you know maybe the fuck boy got hurt before or maybe the fuck boy is in just a different like age to you like you know I'm not in where you're at like I don't know do you mean that doesn't really make him a fuck boy see it's difficult this is why we got 20 signs 20 signs my friends okay and this is all pointing towards he's a fuck boy so let's let's kick it off point one categorically refuses to label it now before we go into that let me just explain that labeling something really too soon too fast in a relationship is actually a red flag okay and this lies the problem it is a

red flag if someone after like three weeks is like i love you i want to be with you you don't know me after three weeks, do you? You can be like, I want to get to know you more. I love where this is going. I love where this is heading. I love spending time with you. Fine. But someone who labels it from the get go, like, yeah, you're my girlfriend. Come here. That's a lot. That's actually too much. So there's the issue, because the fuck boy is actually someone you won't label it so you think you're dating you know casually you're you know going on dates together having sex having fun you talk a lot and you think okay they're basically my boyfriend and he's like what no no no like uh why can't we just stay where we are why can't we just keep it at it as it is

oh I have issues with commitment or I'm not ready to commit yet or I don't I wasn't looking for a relationship. I don't want a relationship. Or more truthful, like, I don't want to be tied down, you know, to one woman. Whatever it is, if you have invested a healthy amount of energy and time together, and he's treating you in a way that says it's kind of like boyfriend status, but then won't, will not actually be your boyfriend. Bug boy. Point two, he's irresistible, charming, charismatic, seductive. He is a smooth criminal. You know that kind of guy? Oh, yeah, we all fall for him. Extra bonus points if they're really good looking. he's irresistible from the get-go I often find with very charismatic and charming men

that I have personally dated throughout my whole life um that there's a reason why they are like that now people can be naturally confident people can be naturally magnetic in fact my girlfriend said that about me the other day she's like you are just magnetic like everyone wants to be in your life on some level and it's just who there's something about you nicks and i don't even know i wouldn't be able to put my finger on what that was and it's not done on purpose i don't go on a date and go i'm gonna make this person like me i'm gonna be magnetic right whereas i feel like with these charismatic fuckboys, it is a facade. It is done on purpose. They are doing this to seduce you. They want to win you over. They want to conquer you. They want to get you in bed.

And I feel like once that's done and dusted, then the charisma, the charm and all that slowly fades away. Annoyingly, it's like, how do I know whether he's just a really cool as fuck person or how do I know if this is like fake charm because the only way you can really work that out is down the line right but the way I always say is if it's too much too soon then there's a problem there like if he is all over you and you know like you are the only girl in the fucking world it's so fast come on now come on point three the timeline doesn't match his behavior. Very self-explanatory. Like I just said, he's so into you, so fast, and he barely knows you. And chances are, he's not even asked you any intimate or deep questions about yourself

or your past or where you came from or your likes or your wants or your dreams or your aspirations. Nada. But yet, he is fully in, you know? If your timeline doesn't match your behavior towards someone if you are so committed and all over the top from the get-go if you are jumping on someone without having a healthy calm time together that's a huge red flag and chances are he is doing it just to conquer you chances are once he's had his way we're gonna get a ghost basically and you're gonna be left feeling like what the fuck just happened fuck boy point four goes hot and cold so he's all over the top then he pulls back plays it cool he might even disappear for a few weeks probably dating someone else in that time maybe he's found a new toy to play with

inconsistency like that in that behavior is a like a serious red flag um and there's definitely something to take note of that's pure that's not because for me that's like okay it's massive fuck boy energy but it's also just massive dickhead energy to have no respect for someone that you can just be all over um really affectionate or whatever and then ghost or even like ghost halfway through making plans what is wrong with you that just says to me i have no respect for any other fucking human but myself so that's like way beyond fuck boy that's like i'm not just you're not just trying to get laid at this point you're actually a shitty fucking soul so yeah run hot and cold doesn't work with me a lot of fuck boys do it to keep you interested

treated treat him mean keep him keen all right yeah sure it's such a childish and pathetic immature outlook yes yes it's nice to have to feel like you've got to earn something and you've got to work for it and no one wants you know someone on a plate straight away but hot and cold hot and cold hot and cold like that's that's done on purpose you know what the result was going to be the other person will get very confused. It's a mindfuck and it's pure fuckboy energy. Point five, he does not publicly engage with you on social media. Of course, social media was going to come up. This is where, you know, he's texting you all the time or even like in your DMs or responding to your stories. But you post a photo of yourself publicly. He won't like that

shit he won't leave a comment he will not make it clear there's something beyond anything with youtube publicly like what fuck no do you know why because it's an online footprint of where he's fucking been if he commented on your stuff he'd have to comment on all the other girl's stuff and everyone would be able to publicly see what a player he is and then his game's not gonna work So, he will not engage with you publicly on social media. He might not even accept your friend request. He might not even follow you back on TikTok. And he'll have excuses, I don't use it that much.

Oh, I didn't see it, sorry. Oh, I was drinking at the time and I got the notification, I forgot. Yeah, bollocks. Fuck boy. Point six. His social media is full of females. Now, come on. we all know we can have male and female friends i have a fair few guy mates um yeah are they on

my social media yeah do i have lots of guys coming in everything i post yeah yeah i do yeah but there's a certain different level of energy with a fuck boy where you can see the reels of women coming in and they're probably all really good looking they're probably all women of status or you know what I mean they've got to have something about them and maybe he's got a stream of being tagged in photos with them right maybe guys don't seem to accept tags and photos much anymore I don't even know if they ever did it's like we women love a tag oh it's a beautiful photo tag I just don't get the same energy with men in like just general but if he's got a fucking whole album or whole video shit whole reels of being tagged in girl stuff

it's a red flag my friend point seven a complete opposite end he doesn't even have social media fuck my life uh yeah my ex-fiancee didn't have social media do you know why do you want to know why? Because he once went back to his home country and he was spotted in the background of a story on some other girl's story where he was on a date with another girl when he was in a relationship. Oh, bad move, bro. So yeah, he got called out. He is a serial cheat. So social media, it's uncontrollable. He loves control. You cannot control who's taking fucking photos when you're sitting in the cafe on a date with someone else when you've lied to the girl you're

supposed to be with can you and you can't lie your way out of that when it's it's there it's now screenshotted and sent to the missus you're fucked so what did he do he removed himself of social media then when i met him he's like yeah i don't have social media and i thought fucking dream because the one before him used social media just to perv on every possible woman going while we're like watching a movie together so I'd gone from two opposite ends so I was like oh thank fuck he doesn't have social media this is great yay love that no no no and no no no it was pure pure fuck boy energy and the proof was in the pudding because after we left after I left him um he got Instagram again

what a fucking tool yeah doesn't have social media and he's what like a successful attractive modern day man fuck boy point eight always has his phone face down whenever you're together oh i hate that if i see you come into the fucking restaurant or you're coming around mind to watch a movie and I've watched you purposely put your phone face down whenever you move it, whenever you look at it face down. I don't trust you for shit. There's a reason why it's constantly face down. It's because you don't want the other person to see the notifications that you don't know are coming just in case the other 20 billion girls message you while you're with that other person that's it really isn't it let's call a spade a spade here that's what it is

if I have nothing to hide why do I need to put my phone face down like what it's you're hiding something who wants their screen face down it's more likely of being broken and also you want to see something you know I want to see if perhaps my mum's calling or there's emergency and my best friend needs me and it don't matter what guy I'm with I'm picking up if I put it face down on silent it's because i don't want you to fucking see fuck boy always point nine he's busy as hell always this is another self-explanatory one he's here there and everywhere oh i can't see you i got that going on oh i can't see listen if a guy wants to see you they prioritize you it's that fucking simple it's that simple like even this year for my birthday the guy come and spent the

night with me and he had like three or four other things to do like leaving parties and all that jazz I he prioritized me because he wanted to see me it's that simple and I'll do the same back if they're like I'm busy I'm busy I'm busy I'm doing it I'm doing that one who the fuck wants to be around someone with a schedule that packed who wants to have to be roted in three weeks in advance and where is he always busy and what is he always doing I have a busy schedule but if I like a person I will cancel shit for them I will move stuff around and I'll do it without any concern if you are being palmed off about making dates together about being roted into his schedule it's because he's not bothered about rotating you into his busy schedule

aka fuckboy point 10 he's always online but not responding to you ouch that really hurts that one oh yeah i'm sorry that is what it is he's online and he's talking to other people if you like someone you know what it's like you want to hear from them you get little butterflies when your phone goes off and you see their name if he's able to be online for five six seven hours or even days and you've been left on on red with no response or worse still he's not even bothered to read it run he don't give a fuck you run. Point 11. He actually has other women call him when you're together, who he claims are just friends. So perfect example. I went on a date a while ago with a guy that I knew was just

full fuckboy energy. Like I knew it, but we'd been talking for years and years and years and years. and honestly he's fucking stunning I am a sucker for a pretty tall guy oh he's stunning oh so we go on a date I just like very charismatic yeah anywho while we're sitting there and his phone was face up so well done kudos to that we're talking having beers and then some girl tries to whatsapp call him and he'd saved her under a pet name he saved her name with the word sweet in front of it and I'm like oh okay okay I see you and he got a bit flustered and I just like walked off to have a smoke and I'm like dude the girl's calling you on a Sunday night come on and he's like no I've met her last week I said you didn't meet her last week because then why have

you saved her under a pet name? Do you save everyone under a pet name that you meet? And also, if you met her just last week and nothing happened, why is she trying to call you on a Sunday night? I was like, this is such bollocks. Anyway, it's fine. It was just the fuckboy energy I knew that he had. So yeah, if someone actually calls them while he's with you, please don't let him talk his way out of it. Don't be offended by it. Just laugh it off and be like, Yeah, that's that's fuckboy energy right there. Number 12. He doesn't ask a thing about you. Very self-explanatory. He doesn't want to get to know you on a deeper level. There's no deep questions. There's no random questions to learn more. It's just surface chat. Nothing, nothing

beyond that. I bet he doesn't even ask how you are. Guarantee he doesn't. He doesn't ask a thing about you because he doesn't care enough. So run. Point 30, sends nudes straight off the bat. Listen, I don't mind sending a nude, right? I'm not against nudes. But I'd send them to boyfriends or guys that I'm like involved with. I don't think it's normal to like match or meet a gut person and then send them like a photo of your dick or like, I mean, do it clearly because all you want is sex. So if someone's sending you photos of their topless body or their dick before you've even met, how much more of a fuckboy red flag do you need? That is basically like, this is just sex-based. Done. Take it or leave it. And if you want to jump on that dick, my girl, be my guest,

right but don't fall in love with it point 14 there's lies upon lies you will at some point in the period of dating catch a fuck boy out on lies maybe they said they were i don't know staying in but then actually they were out or maybe they said they were at one place and then they got tagged in a story at a completely different place maybe they said they were with of boys and then there's like a shit ton of girls with them or maybe they said they were somewhere and then later on it was a completely different like destination or they were in a different country I don't know like it could be anything but you will find the lies um don't ignore them don't ignore them because here's the issue if they're lying a little bit like that little lies

like that. They're lying in general. I don't lie. If I lie, I'm doing it for a fucking reason. If I'm lying to you, it's because I'm hiding shit from you. If I'm lying to you, it's because I don't want you to know what I'm doing or saying because it will hurt you and ruin what we have. That's why I lie. So if you look at it in that respect, and they are lying, even on like just stupid shit, ask yourself why would they feel the need to lie fuck boy point 15 their actions don't match up with their words this comes in with like the charismatic charming vibe but what if they are very like all what if they're all over you but then say they don't want anything or what if they're all over you and saying they want all this stuff in person and then immediately disappear

the next day what like if they act in one way and then they change it that's a huge problem that's so inconsistent and unreliable and suggest something's fake there also if they act one way but they say other stuff like that's probably because they're trying to get physical connection physical sex from you but that's as far as it goes hence why the words don't match up like if you genuinely like a person in the bedroom and out of the bedroom everything will be consistent so if you're starting to feel like you need to see through the text or you need to overanalyze things that come out their mouth I would say that that's a red flag for yourself to be like why am I feeling the need to like overanalyze the shit because something is is triggering me

something feels off inconsistency is huge fuck boy energy point 16 sex seems to be the main focus always yeah there we go just sex done sex is great we all love sex right good love sex great sex is definitely addictive like if you finally find some good day oh it's great if you have a connection to that person beyond the bedroom, it's fire. That's all they give a shit about, right? There is no pretty date. There is no hand-holding. They don't kiss you in a way that's not sexual. You can tell the fucking difference. You can tell. Like, I can tell a difference between a guy kissing me because he wants to put his dick in me versus a guy kissing me because he really likes me as a person. You don't even, it just, you feel it. If sex is his

main focus throughout that's just making it very obvious about what he wants and what he wants is just that it's just sex fuck boy he'll happily play with your emotions or pretend to skirt around and want other stuff because he wants the sex but that's all it comes down to point 17 plans are made last minute and easily cancelled last minute yeah do you know why because he might have a better offer that's what it's all about he might keep his friday night wide open to see which girl he can pull maybe you'll meet a new one this week and if not who's around who's reliable who's stable oh yeah that girl i know i'll ask her randomly on a friday lunch what she's doing tonight. If he gave a fuck about you, he would plan it in advance because he wouldn't want you

to be busy. I want to see her. I want to take her out for dinner. I'm going to ask her a week in advance. Same goes to easily cancelling last minute because he's like, ah, this other girl is now free and she's definitely a better option. She's my primary source. So I'm going to ditch the secondary source, but I'll keep the secondary source in the back burner, obviously, because no one wants to be alone as a fuckboy what sit in your feelings be alone face who you really are don't think so let's surround ourselves with loads of pussy and ignore all of life's problems so yeah he will cancel on you if he gets a better offer plans are made last minute just in case he does get a better offer if he does make plans of you he's all in like he will be there because he

knows what he wants and what he's gonna get and you ain't gonna stop him point 18 you've never made friends or family and there are no plans to either very fucking obvious if you've been dating for more like you don't say oh we've been dating two weeks why have i not met your mum don't do that no then then you're the walking red flag but if it's been months or a timeline of which like it should be moving forwards or you see each other all the time but it's only in the bedroom you know you don't actually go to bars to clubs you don't he's always with his mates and you're not involved that's a red flag because that shows that he's keeping you at arm's length and he doesn't he's just not interested in integrating you into his life you are providing

what he wants when he wants it with just you but he's not going to risk bringing you forwards it's sad but that's pretty much it you don't have to meet the family for ages i understand that part but at least mates like if he if he's not a fuck boy and he really cares about you definitely he'll want his mate's approval and he'll want to be able to bring you out and show you off if he's not showing you off he's hiding you and why is he hiding you fuck boy point 19 his past holds a lot of drama relating to women this is self-explanatory every ex is crazy i ignored this red flag with the fiance his ex was crazy no one before that one before that um she actually apparently like threw a knife at him and installed two hundred

thousand dollars off him apparently oh honey now I know why now I know why you if you did throw a knife at him girl I got you so yeah after my turbulent relationship now I completely get it and then I've read between the lines worked out some of the lies he said put pieces together and now I've got the full story I got half the story of course he was the victim she's the psycho ex And if that happens a lot, he is the psycho, not the women. Stop blaming the other women. If his past is drama filled with women, the one common denominator is the fuck boy in the middle. And point 20, your gut instinct just tells you something is off.

Listen. you gotta listen i had gut instinct kicking in like for ages with the last one and this horrible gut instinct kicked in which is why i actually even read the phone i'd know i haven't been given any kind of um reason from him to think he's cheating but i just read the phone because i felt sick looking at this spare phone and you know the rest is history you know the story your gut instinct never lies i'm sorry but it doesn't even if you have an anxiety disorder like me where your gut instinct is just always baseline anxiety oh my god what about this what about that oh my god i know this what about that like we could have a little less instinct gut okay

let's dial it down but even if that level it never lies you can read people's energy and you've got to listen to yourself and get really in tune with yourself and you'll realize that yeah listen to your body if your body says something's off fuck boy he's a fuck boy and that is the end of my list what have I missed off is there any fuck boy traits that I haven't included that you think need to be added if so please let me know slide into my dms as always instagram tiktok at nixalina n-i-x-a-l-i-n-a i'd love to hear your fuckboy stories i'd love to hear if you think any of these were wrong or if they're all right and yeah let's let's share some fuckboy energy together you know if discussing a problem is halfway to solving it isn't it uh no seriously

i hope these have helped you i do hope if you have picked up on any of these at any point or moving forwards when you date, you do run. It's very important for us to dodge fuckboys. Unless all you want is sex, and that is a huge caveat to this whole episode. Unless all you give a fuck about is great sex, then scrap it all and enjoy yourself, judgment free. If you want a date for something more than that, you need the list of the fuckboy. Thank you so much for listening, and I will see you all next week. thanks for listening to the can't keep my mouth shut podcast produced and hosted by me nick selena i'm recorded in the splice cast studios in singapore i'm available to listen

to on spotify apple podcasts google and all major podcast listening apps do subscribe to enjoy a new episode every monday evening please do give me a five-star review it helps other people also find my podcast for more content and features to read you can check out my website nixalina.com that's nixalina.com i'm also on social media simply search at nixalina n-i-x-a-l-i-m-a to find me don't be shy come say hi you