Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - 5 Things That ALWAYS Happen After a Man Fucks Me Over

Episode Date: October 27, 2025

Spoiler alert - here are the 5 things I explain in this episode about what happens to me after I leave a toxic mofo: Denial & Derail Rumination & Revenge Bod IDGAF Peace & Penis Locked IN For more awesome content to read including beauty, fashion or dating & love features, please do head over to my digital platform www.nixalina.com. Don't be shy, come say hai! Head over to my Instagram or Tiktok @nixalina to slide into my DMs.

Your sales order says one thing, your inventory says another, your spreadsheet says good luck. Odoo brings your business together on a single platform. From sales and accounting to inventory and marketing. Visit odoo.com to book a demo. It's O-D-O-O dot com. This podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships, sex and love. It may not be suitable for younger listeners. this is the can't keep my mouth shut podcast and i am nick selena hi it's nick selena i am back if you guys are on my social media you will know that i have had black mold poisoning okay that was a little bit dramatic as per um i was very ill because i

had black mold in my aircon units and my voice went completely. So I haven't been able to come to the studio and record and I'm finally back to my full fucking healthy self. As you can hear, I'm all good and I'm very excited to start recording new episodes. So we begin tonight with five things that always happen after a man fucks me over why do i laugh at my own trauma so guy recently called me a trauma queen and i loved it i was like i love that brilliant uh he's a nice guy like we like this guy but yeah it's like pipe down trauma queen it used to be drama queen

anyway what happens as i've noticed and i had re-noticed it again this summer and i realized it's a pattern of behavior five core things that always always happen once a guy in my life does something so fucking diabolical and fucks me up right now usually it's cheating lying manipulating any kind of you know shitty mental and psychological abuse usually it's them having secret lives it's not funny stop laughing nicks it's not funny Like, when we get to the fifth thing, you'll realize why I'm laughing because that's where I'm at now. That's the stage. We're going to get there.

Bear with. But I go through this cycle after the dude has destroyed me, right, broken me down into nothing. There's five things that then automatically happen. And it's not conscious. I'm not doing it consciously. And it's not like a one-off. it just it's the order of life and I just want to share these with you guys firstly because you voted for it on Instagram thank you to everyone who wanted to hear this but secondly maybe you

will experience said stages as well and you're like oh that's actually what I go through and then it'll help you to get to stage five okay I call it stages things we're interchanging it um let's begin fuck it let's go for it Stage one, denial and derail. Yay! I love a derail. Denial and derail. So what happens once a man has, you know, broken my heart and stamped all over it and then stamped all over me and then left me? Wow, I'm very dramatic today, aren't I? Love that for me. What happens is I go into denial of who they even are because my brain and this is not me this is a collective this is what happens globally but my brain it struggles with the cognitive dissonance of

understanding the man I met versus the man I left let's take the boy this summer I say boy he's a 40 year old man so come on now you think you think you'd grow up by that point um unless it's midlife crisis which again makes more sense so they're taking the person I met was absolutely like in hindsight love bombing but at the time adored me adored me wouldn't leave me alone wouldn't fucking stop calling and texting daily obsessed with me thinking about me all the time went to see me all the time I'm amazing I'm the best woman he's ever met I'm changing his life he wants to be with me fuck everything I'm the only thing that matters blah blah blah blah blah in a very short four months by the time he's fucking blown up like atomic bomb blown up

he's not the man I met I'm like what and the conversation he's actually quite boring the conversation is so dead in fact I think I spoke to him recently and told him it's like pulling fucking teeth for me now it wasn't before it was effortless it was incredible and the obsession and it was an obsession he had with me then at the beginning didn't marry up with the ending where it was like there's like a fucking harem of women going on right and lies coming out of his butthole so I'm in denial about the man himself always the first thing denial and in that denial of who, did he really love me? No, he can't be this person. Did he lie? No. He lied the whole time? No, he can't have. No, he did really love me. No, this can't be who he really

is. Because I won't want to accept that he's a raging psychopath. I don't want to accept that I got fucking tricked again with another manipulative, emotionally avoidant prick of a man. So denial helps me, helps me at the beginning. And whilst I am trying to wade through said denial, I'm derailing. Now, my derail era is going out, going out, going out, going out, going out. I might throw myself also into fitness, into gym, but I ain't eating, which we'll get to the next point. I'm too stressed. I'm not taking care of myself. I will be wanting to do things to keep my mind off the fuckery. And I will go out and drink to not be home in the silence. This is also a very common thing, right? So

whilst it's super unhealthy, I do embrace the derail. Also, look, I'm a party queen. Come on. I am out. I'm out a lot. We know I am weekly. It's not new news for me to be at press events at champagne dinners this that and the other just that's my lifestyle more the derail is like fuck everything vibe you know I'm gonna do what the fuck I want and I'm gonna snog that guy over there and I'm gonna do this and do that just but I embrace it before I would try and avoid derailing and have a lot of shame but I would do it anyway it's like not a conscious thing now I'm like derail in fucking coming because I need to I need to go through that phase and that stage and it's fun it is fun at the time however swiftly I get tired of it I'm

all right derailed long enough next and we move on to stage two the second thing that always happens is rumination and revenge bod so the rumination if you don't know this word sets in my rumination will be overplaying every conversation i'll be in the shower I'll be making dinner I'll be at work and it's ruminating on everything because the cognitive dissonance can't marry up the man because of who he was to me in the first say two months contradicts everything I found out in the final two months and the behavior he changed into it was like he went from loving me to fucking hating me right like he wanted to punish me he wanted to hurt me and um all I done was love him really so that sucks so the rumination is then part and

parcel of the denial stage because you move past denial and you're like fuck it was all bollocks like the man I saw at the end the monster is who they are please accept this if we can accept this ladies and gentlemen we're gonna save ourselves a lot of fucking long ass recovery the monster you meet at the end is who they really are. The person at the beginning to hook you in was a facade. Like they say, the devil don't come with fucking horns and hooves. He turns up with a smile and a bucket load of charm. So my rumination focuses all on that. I ruminate, oh, was he with her then? Was he with that girl then? How many times does he fuck someone behind my back where is he now I wonder who he's fucking now oh how comes I fell for it again why

does he think that I'm not good enough for him why does he act like I'm not good enough for him he's a piece of shit I should never have even let him in my fucking house I endured a lot of bollocks for that cunt and look how he's treating me a rumination right on and on and on so whilst the rumination is happening that derails going on i deal my body deals with stress i think differently i think some people stress eat and other people stress non-eat it's not even a phrase but i just said it i'm i'm the latter so then revenge bod kicks in because i i do like i do continue my fitness I'm always like I might when I derail there might be actually that it's bollocks I just lied to you all when I derailed this time I didn't set foot in a gym for two months yeah

eight weeks and that yeah two months and it's something I religiously do like netball and gym is part of my routine it's who I am and I love working out and I did I have fucked it off but the lack of healthy, sustainable eating routine brings back revenge bod, okay? And it happens every time. If there's one thing that's going to happen post-fuckery with a dude, I look fit as fuck. It's not a conscious thing, once again. I'm not like, right, I'm going to do a juice cleanse and I'm going to be in the gym five hours a day. No, I'm drinking pints of beer like it's fucking H2O. Also, I love a beer, okay?

I love drinking beer, love a beer. But for whatever reason, unbeknownst to man, revenge bod always happens. I'd like to write a book about how to get it, but I don't know, I can't, I don't know why. And the only thing I can say is that the stress and the pain and the trauma from what I've been through and what he's just done to me triggers the cortisol which must fuck

with my metabolism I don't know I do lose my appetite but it doesn't that doesn't go long like you know I can't lose my appetite for months on end it's usually like say the first three weeks where I just don't want to eat not hungry just sad derailing sad and that's sorry I should have put that in earlier that is part of derailing as well is your sadness for sure for sure so anyway rumination revenge bod overthinking you're still sad because you're not eating um because you're sad and you're stressed and you start to look a bit better like okay revenge bod I see you and then I start to feel a bit better because I'm like oh hold on this is a vibe and then and then the third thing happens

i call this stage i don't give a fuck about anything this is when i go into my i don't care i don't care about anything so what has happened i spent so many months caring too much right brain is in overdrive, ruminating every waking hour of the fucking day, crying, crying over this piece of shit, feeling worthless, feeling like I lived in someone else's fuckery towel and I was just collateral damage and I wasn't seen and I wasn't heard and I was used to hurt other people as well and I'm just fucking, I go into it, and then I give a fuck, oh, I go right the other way, people, right the other way, I don't give a fuck about anything, it's a problem, I start doing whatever, whatever I want, whenever I want, there is no stress, it's almost, I

should be more stressed, there's no deadline, there's no timeline, there's no alarm setting, the morning to go to work. I don't give a fuck. I will start saying what I want, when I want. It may cause problems and it may offend people. I don't care. I don't give a fuck. I don't care about being liked. I don't care about meeting a man. Oh God, I don't give a flying fuck about men. I will rip you a new arsehole verbally. You come anywhere near me in my I don't give a fuck stage because I'm just like fuck you and fuck you and all men are cunts but I also don't care don't want it sex don't even think about it don't touch me don't come at me don't look at me I want to go out when I want to go out with people I love if I want to

cancel plans I'm cancelling them nope not coming souls oh did I say I'm coming not coming don't give a fuck. I'm not saying this is a good stage. It ain't. We're still in the thick of it, all right? It's not good. But it's better than where I was before. I went too far one way, I go right the other way. And then the fourth thing that happens. I call it peace and penis oh peace and penis it was actually originally called the man magnet stage but i like the idea of peace and penis just makes more sense i'm not saying i went around and sucked a load of penises you guys fucking wish no what i mean at this stage i've battled through the rest Therein is this overwhelming feeling of peace

I think about him a little less I think about how he fucked me over a little less I go through days where I'm happy again I start feeling excited about stuff I start caring I care about how I come across to people I care about whether strangers think I'm a total cunt Disclosure, I am

still I'm there is a level of cunt to me that will exist forever I love that side keeper I am thanks peace peaceful stage is usually comes with no contact you can get there with contact say you're married or you have kids or pets or a joint mortgage or joint business and you still have to communicate you can still get to peace peace and penis so what happens is I start to settle down my emotions start to level out and I start being more objective in my opinions right because all the other previous things where I'm all up it's like I'm high I'm low cortisol is high um apparently my metabolism is high and then my sadness is also high and my self-esteem is low you know what i mean so it starts to level out where i become the person

i was before he came along and fucked me over i love the fourth stage not for the penis bit which we will come on you're like fuck the peace talk about the penis wait I love this because it makes me go like objectively I didn't deserve that that and that and that maybe I deserve that maybe I should have ran away the first 20 billion red flags I'm a tourist bull people I fucking love a red flag you get red flag to a bull tourist bull I'm in I'm chasing that motherfucker. And then I'll moan when I get stabbed. What? Who saw that coming? But that, I can be objective. And then I go like, not my man. God, not my man. And it's not rumination anymore. It's reflection. Oh God, did he do that? Did he really say that? Did he say that about his

ex. What a disrespectful piece of shit. Did he say that about me? Did he really video me with that fucking girl sitting next to him on the sofa? Like, levels of prick to this man. Did he really go and fucking have a threesome behind my back and brag about it while saying he loves me and wants me to be his girlfriend. Really? Really? It's reflection. And it comes with peace. And I'm like, ew. I start to see the man for who he is. And I'm like, ew, ew. And then along with that, with the peace, with the, oh, thank God he's out of my life. Peace. Oh, thank God he's gone. All that then makes me a man magnet, right? Penis.

Fucking can't bat him away quick enough. What happens is when you reach the stage is you are in your full feminine energy era, right? You give off this energy of someone. Well, I do. This is my five things that always happen to me. So I don't know whether you're the same. Please do let me know. But I give off this energy and aura.

the attractiveness of what brings in all these fucking men in the first place when I'm back to who I am like I know my worth I know what I deserve I'm very happy with my life I love my life I love who I am I know all that I just live through that's his shit that's on him and then I sit with myself you know what do I want to work on and all that energy just is positive energy that attracts men. Not only that, it's the energy of, I don't want or need anyone to be whole or complete. I don't need validation from anyone to love who I am. And I won't let any fucking raging, toxic piece of psychopathic shit make me feel crap about myself anymore. and that, ironically, is when all the men come running.

I love you. Thanks for coming running. Don't listen to this and be put off. I assure you I'm a wonderful woman and I am looking to settle down. Maybe if I did that without the sneaker in, they might actually believe me. So we move on to the final thing. stage five i've called it locked in slash universe delivers and this is oh it's fucking brilliant it's not just the peacefulness we're leveling up from that it's not just having loads of attention that you don't even need or want we're leveling up from

that it's everything starts fucking going amazing and i lock in on myself i'm like right what the fuck are we up to right what are we doing because when I'm being fucked around and fucked over by a man it's almost all absorbing like my brain my productivity my career I can't I feel like I can't focus because I'm too busy fucking having anxiety attacks over how many women he's banged behind my fucking back do you know what I mean whereas now stage five all that's gone. I'm glad he's gone. I feel ashamed at myself that I even associated with him, right? Like, how did I ever look at you and think you were a potential? Like, girl, sort yourself out. You know what I mean? I give myself pep talks. What are you doing? And I lock in on who I am. I lock

in on what I want and I and I'm telling you the universe fucking delivers I don't want to do any spoilers for what's to come but it's things just align align align and then and then you start to feel healthy again and happy again and then when you've got that more energy then you're attracting more people but then you're attracting more things about work and passion projects and pleasure and oh right no I'm not having sex so don't even think that's what that's referring to I know I made sex noises I can't help myself but it's just wow wow wow wow you're yeah the universe has given me a life orgasm it's fucking amazing and it always happens after I get fucked over always always it's almost

like I have to get fucked over first by said troglodyte for me to go through these five things that always happen for me to get my body back for me to get my health back then for me to get my brain back my attention back for me to get my energy back to get attention from people that I don't even want or need but it's there because I don't even want to need it because I'm so focused and in my in my own personal feminine era dare I say it phoenix energy right dare I say it but it's it's true it's why I use this analogy because it's how it is and um yeah it's fucking amazing amazing it's fucking amazing and that's where I am in case you can't tell I'm well in the fifth stage right I've lived for the five things I'm in the fifth stage and I am so happy so so

happy at this point to be here and if if I had to go through what I went through this summer ten times over to feel like this and to be here I would do it in a heartbeat there you go did you enjoy that? those are the five things

five things that always happen after a man fucks me over and I don't know whether you guys thought it was going to be a negative shit show no, nay nay it's a positive one girl match me would ya

match me because it's fucking glorious if you are stuck in any of those five stages if you're like fuck i go for the same thing too anything you want to say and comment slide into my dms at nixalina n-i-x-a-l-i-n-a and with that i look forward to seeing you all next week and thank you once again for tuning in to can't keep my mouth shut thanks for listening to the can't keep my mouth shut podcast produced and hosted by me nick selena i'm recorded in the splice cast studios in singapore i'm available to listen

to on spotify apple podcasts google and all major podcast listening apps do subscribe to enjoy a new episode every monday evening please do give me a five-star review it helps other people also find my podcast for more content and features to read you can check out my website nixalina.com that's nixalina.com i'm also on social media simply search at nixalina n-i-x-a-l-i-m-a to find me don't be shy come say hi you