Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - Ben Affleck & JLo: Getting Back With Your Ex

Episode Date: July 8, 2024

I mean, was it really ever a good idea? Does returning to an ex partner ever work out? Let's discuss! With love, Nixalina.  ​For more awesome content to read including beauty, fashion or dating & love features, please do head over to my digital platform www.nixalina.com. Don't be shy, come say hai! Head over to my Instagram or Tiktok @nixalina to slide into my DMs.

This podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships, sex, and love. It may not be suitable for younger listeners. This is the Can't Keep My Mouth Shut podcast, and I am Nick Salina. Hi! Welcome back to me, Nick Salina, on a Monday evening. I'm dedicating this episode to Ben Affleck and J-Lo What? What? More specifically, I hear you say Is getting back with your ex a good idea?

So, this has been in the news and all over fucking socials And YouTube videos of people gossiping and whatnot about Ben Affleck And Jennifer Lopez, who rekindled their relationship And it now seemingly is all over Before I briefly detail their relationship timeline, the reason I'm talking about this is because it raises a relevant point about getting back with your ex. The pair initially met in 2002. By November 2002, they got engaged.

September 2003, they postponed the wedding. So that's what, almost a year later. And by January 2004, they break up just two years after meeting. They remain friends, right, since then, which is important information that we'll come back to later. But they both went off and married different people and had children and rah, rah, rah. And then they rekindled their romance in April 2021, a long-ass time later. And they went IG official in July 2021. one. By April 2022, so not so long, less than a year later, they're engaged for the

second time. And by July 2022, they're married. So obviously the first time the wedding never happened, the engagement did, but the wedding got postponed and then they split up. This time, wedding did happen in July 2022. All right. So great. Everything looks great. You know rekindled life is gray obviously meant to be lovebirds blah by may this year 2024 couple weren't photographed together for like almost two months um this is all bollocks here say that stuff i hate like when paps and people and press like oh they haven't been seen out together like stop spying on people for fuck's sake but it's relevant to the story so i kept it and then by June end of June somewhat last week 2024 it seems that Ben Affleck has moved his

belongings out of the house so for me raised a very good topic of which I don't think I've covered in eight seasons and that is whether it's a good idea to ever get back with your ex obviously with these two many years were were passed in when they were with different people married different people children and they stayed friends it's important to say they stayed friends because obviously it wasn't when they broke up originally some big ass betrayal you know this is also speculation but like no one cheated on each other no one was abusive or violent or whatever um hence why the friendship remained and jlo has been said to say that like it was the biggest regret kind of breaking up with ben back then blah blah blah and now they're separating

again so let me look at my own dating history and tackle this one i'm getting back with the ex big fat fucking no the end i'm kidding um most of my exes have resurfaced it could be eight months later could be two years later one of them 12 years later 12 years and whilst we're still we still chat and we're close would I get back with him no and here's why for me and like I said we're friends I mean it was a very turbulent ending I find lots of my breakups are quite turbulent and maybe it's because they're so passionate it's always a very intense

connection I do vibe intense connections um but when that all dies down and the years go by and whatever whatever and I I'm like yeah we can be friends but I don't want anything with you and half the time my exes when they come back they do they do want something again and I'm like the ship has sailed for me when I love someone I love so deeply I will ignore their flaws I will turn a blind eye to very obvious red flags. And it's something that I'm fucking working on because I need healthy, healthy. And I will just love with everything. Give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give. And half of them were like, take, take, take, take, take, take, take. And at the time, it won't matter to me because they love me and I love them. And we get to

curl up together at night and plan our future and blah blah blah but when I then get out of said relationships you know even if it was a nice breakup or it was a bad one or they cheated or they were nasty to me or I've left them because I wasn't in love with them anymore whatever the breakup was my feelings are done when I heal from that that particular breakup when I get my head around it I'm done I can't look at that person in the same way again like if you said to me go and have sex with this person from your past I'm like ew ew ew no shit sex it was shit at the time and I bet it's even shitter now but also I don't love them anymore so I can't let them touch me i get the ick friends 100 and like once you heal maybe it's just me my fucking i'm just so healed

at the moment and um happy and in such a great place but like i could go now like the guy from 12 years ago i could go and fucking go and party with him have the best night i could go to my ex fiance both of them in fact and be like do you want to have a beer like how the fuck are you I want to know they're happy I want to know they're with new people they're loved they're loving or whatever they're now doing I don't harbor and hold on to anything from people that have really hurt me in the past at the time I want to fucking kill them at a time well it devastated. But once you move past that, once you realize people's, I'm digressing, digressing, but we're always learning here. It's important information. Do you realize people's

shit is nothing to do with you? If someone treats you badly, if you heard of that saying, hurt people, hurt people. I'll do a whole other episode on this if you want. But it's on them. If someone can't value you, doesn't love you the way you love them, someone uses you financially, someone belittles you physically hurts you prods at you makes comments about your life so everything's negative someone doesn't spend time with you won't fuck you whatever it is right whatever it is that you're on the receiving end of just know it's not you it's always a reflection of them and then they're probably very sad and very miserable very hurt but let's move back to the main point when you heal from that and you're like okay it's on you like you actually

just wish your ex-partners all the best because you're like you're in my life at one point we obviously had a connection at one point I cared about you deeply at one point I hope you're well but to get back with them honey the hounds of hell couldn't fucking drag me back to any of them and you could be like yeah but Ben Affleck and JLo were like they didn't have a bad breakup the first time oh they broke up with the wedding the first time because of all the media public and all that image and all that it all got too much okay yeah sure but like I said I still talk to an ex of mine from 12 years ago like we will have 3am phone calls right um yeah he's London so he's fucking hilarious so yeah I can get him from a night out and call him up and we just chat

we're still friends that doesn't mean I would ever go back there and I firmly believe that when you separate with someone it's for a reason and needs to remain that way and I think this is where Affleck and JLo's recent breakup not confirmed it's all speculation at the moment people not confirmed it's not confirmed but I think their breakup again having got married a second time is testament to that if people are still who they used to be when you tried the first time round and it didn't work out the first time round why would it work out again the second time round unless there's some huge changes I don't see it happening and I think if you could change in the way you were wouldn't you have done it when you first was in that relationship

if it's like okay Nix um I don't know what could I what could be my burden uh Nix you talk too much i fucking do i talk way too much that's why i have a podcast it's not for you guys it's for me it's a safe space it's my cathartic release it's where i can talk loads no guess let's say my boyfriend was like you talk too much okay if i want to be with him i'd make a conscious effort to talk a little less or i'd be like fuck you i love how much i talk get out my house it was a bad example do you get where i'm going with this like if i said to my partner um i don't

know you go out too much fucking stay you're just out too much not what i signed up for if he really wanted the relationship he'd be like okay fair I respect what you want it's two of us now we're a team we're in this together what can I do to like make us both happy like what if I go out this amount of times and I go yeah that's fair that's cool and done but if you can't address those things when you're together and it takes like you know a decade or two decades apart to come back together I feel like wouldn't it have worked the first time round what are you going back to your ex for? I know there'll be so many people that will give me these incredible stories of how it broke up because of outside circumstances and years later they found each other

and it was the best thing they ever did and I want to hear those stories but for me at this point all Ben Affleck and JLo do is prove my gut instinct right which is it is not a good idea to get back with your ex. People break up and leave your life for a reason. And I think once you've healed from that breakup as well, it can skew your opinions on said person because you're like, oh, it was actually better than I thought. And you look back fondly. There's something called euphoric recall and the phantom ex. These are two terminologies in the relationship dating world. and they both basically make you idealize and idolize an ex that's kind of not the real person as who they are and that will make you want to go back because you've flitted away all the bad

points and the reasons why you broke up and then you're focusing on the good points and then you get back together and lo and behold those bad points they're all still there and they will rear their ugly head at some point. So yes, that's my personal take on it. I would never get back with an ex. Ever, ever, ever, ever. I will have a pint of beer with them instead. I wish them all well. I really do. I hope they're all happy. I really do. Even like the nasty ones. I'm like, I hope you find. The healing and self-love you clearly need. But I would never, ever, ever, ever open my door to them again. And I feel like that would be the healthiest mindset to have when it comes to getting back with exes. But like I said, please do prove me wrong. I'd love to be proven wrong.

Get in touch with your stories. Did you get back with an ex? Did it end badly? Did it go the same way as Ben Affleck and J-Lo? Or is it a success story where you found true love and realized you were in fact forever soulmates that just drifted apart for one moment in time and now you get to spend eternity together? On that note, thank you all for listening. I hope you've enjoyed this episode and I look forward to seeing you all next week. thanks for listening to the can't keep my mouth shut podcast produced and hosted by me nick selena i'm recorded in the splice cast studios in singapore i'm available to listen to on spotify apple podcasts google and all major podcast listening apps do subscribe to enjoy a new

episode every Monday evening. Please do give me a five-star review. It helps other people also find my podcast. For more content and features to read, you can check out my website, nixalina.com. That's nixalina.com. I'm also on social media. Simply search at Nixalina, N-I-X-A-L-I-N-A to find me. Don't be shy. Come say hi. Thanks for watching!