Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - Boys Are Like Boomerangs – They Always Come Back

Episode Date: January 16, 2023

​But...but why?   Is it real regret and remorse? Or is it purely for a quick shag? Let's explore why boys ALWAYS come back.  ​​ For more awesome content to read including beauty, fashion or dating & love features, please do head over to my digital platform www.nixalina.com.   Don't be shy, come say hai! Head over to my Instagram or Tiktok to slide into my DMs.

This podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships, sex, and love. It may not be suitable for younger listeners. This is the Can't Keep My Mouth Shut podcast, and I am Nick Salina. Hi, it's Nick Salina. Welcome back to another episode a la moi. this topic was a request from one of my girlfriends and a couple of my listeners and i thought yeah fucking right and it's also something i've been talking about for ages and i was like yeah why have i not done an episode of this so here it goes it is called boys are like boomerangs they always come back yeah before before before we deep dive into this i'm gonna get men you go

my DMs go, oh, my ex-girlfriends also come back. I know, I know. We can swap the gender out. But firstly, boys are like boomerangs, just sounds good with a double B. And secondly, from my experience, it's usually men more so than women that return. I have not had a single ex or someone I've had a fling with that hasn't tried to return. Every fucking one try to return. Not like a few weeks or months later. My timeline is about six months and yeah, six months to 12 months. Within the six to 12 month time frame, they return and they return as if I'm a goddess like that they've lost and are just so fucked without me. Here's a perfect example. It's the most recent example. So this is why I'm banging on about

the ex-fiancee it's the last relationship I've had so this is what we're dealing with and also the last wanker so he fits into all of my tales of woe so when I left him in March last year because he's a cheating lying cunt he just went into rage and like immediately hated me because he couldn't obviously process what a fucking arsehole he is and the self-destructive self-sabotage patterns of behavior, it was always blame the woman. So I got rage. The way he spoke to me in emails from March onwards, you would think I'd like killed a family member of his. It was diabolical. It was disgusting. It was like he fucking hated me. He was so abusive. He was so cruel it was like how much more pain can I administer on this person because I know deep

down he's a narcissist I know narcissists hoover hoovering is when they return at some point in the future to try and get more narcissistic supply off of you see if you're still interested see if they can still spread your legs but I was constantly aware like he's so horrible now there's no way he's gonna come back there's just no way and I'm very well aware in my head that boys always come back I thought no no way not this one he is so nasty and just I just mean I can't I wish I could share some of these emails he's fucking awful to me and all I'd done was catch him out that was all I caught him out cheating and I left that's all I did and to be honest that's not all I did I also obviously unraveled his sense of self I destroyed

his narcissistic sense of entitlement I exposed him for the reality of his not the fake self that he's presented so for him I'm the worst person in the world because I've made him address who he really is, which you can't do that because he's a narcissist. But anyway, so the point I'm making with this is that I just thought no way in a million years. Did he come back? Of course he did. Of course he fucking did. October. So from March to October, he's been a fucking awful, awful man. I'm pretty convinced he had another immediate girlfriend because narcissists can never be alone um which is also another reason why he was so emotionless to me because he's got you know his fulfillment elsewhere but he come back in October in tears saying he was grieving

claiming I was the love of his life begging me not to block him again wanted me to keep him around so we can have like sex toy fun again and yeah he came back I was like fucking hell that I couldn't have predicted so it apparently took him eight months to work out that I was you know the best thing that ever happened to him and I'm like pretty sure you've had a girlfriend in that time and what is she just broken up with you is that why you're back here is it um I entertained him for say three weeks I think it was about three weeks he then lied some more fucked off to Vegas to I assume fuck some whores whatever makes his little limp dick feel good and that's it really I also found out recently which is just low because the world is such a

small place that during that exact same time period he was going back to an old ex he had a three-year relationship in uh offshore wasn't in Singapore and he was trying to get back with her as well at least trying to catch up with her what like what are you doing bro so it was almost like he was scraping the barrel for who who could give me attention let's go through my long list of exes and see who might be receptive to me returning but yeah he returned against all odds never would have called that one given the abuse and the cruelty i thought there's no way he fucking hates me no he returned which perpetuated my original idea that they boys always come back and this is how the conversation come about with my girlfriends recently was because I was regaling

this story that like they always come back why because let me tell you now before I go through a list of things as to why I think they return let me tell you this when you come back to me every one of you I don't feel the same I believe women and men have a reverse way of dealing with breakups, because let's also point out, men can only return because you've broken up already, right? So there's been a breakup. It has to be for this scenario to exist. So you've broken up with each other, or you've dated and decided it's not working out, whatever it is, once you were kind of together, and now you're not. Women handle these breakup situations in a way of the pain hits hard, and very difficult at the beginning, and we're upset, and we're destroyed, and we don't

going to let go and we're in agony then as time goes on we're all right we heal yeah we heal we're okay and then you become more objective to that person you look at them in a different way and like oh you're not actually good looking oh yeah you kind of got really fat oh you kind of you lie a lot and then you just end up seeing them in a different way so by the time you well this is how I operate okay girls shout out to me if you if you do the same but when by the time you come back to me with your little dick in your hand trying to get you know my love back I don't feel even remotely the same about you at all um in fact I did I'll be honest I did sleep with my narc ex fiance in October November and I as soon as um we he left I called up my best mate and I was like

I feel nothing. I felt nothing. I would look at him and feel nothing. I feel nothing. There was no emotion whatsoever. I just like, oh, I just, I could have been anyone. Could have literally been anyone. I mean, the sex was crap anyway.

But yeah, I feel nothing. Whereas I feel that men in the situation of breakups, they actually are elated at the beginning. They feel, yes, I'm free. I'm single. Life's great. and then then it slowly hits over time then that emotional agony comes in then that loneliness creeps in I feel like men and women just deal with it in like a reverse trajectory do you feel that

way as well like that's how I feel we we're like opposites so we start off in agony and we rise up and men start off feeling elated and rise up and then move down into the grieving and so that would explain why they come back because at the beginning it's like fuck yeah I'm single let's play the field let's go and see what single life has to offer and then over the time it's like oh yeah actually made some bad life choices and actually life was better before ain't that the truth anyway let's move in very quickly to some of the reasons why i personally believe boys are like boomerangs as in what i've just discussed they i reckon that they think the grass is greener um they're on that little high i'm relief and

single and relief there's no arguments anymore oh relief i get to sleep around oh relief i can spread my seed grass is greener and then as time goes on they realize the grass is actually like weeds and then as they get up close they realize the grass is all brown underneath and oh my god it's actually fake grass and plastic and over here your ex is now over the emotional state of it she's healed she's thriving fuck me she's got the greenest grass again and now you want a bit of that, don't you? Because from afar, she looks like she's living in a fucking tropical rainforest of green grass. And you're dealing with plastic. Do you get my analogy? I think that it also ties into people wanting what they can't have. This isn't just a male psyche thing. We all want what

we can't have. It's how we operate as humans. But you want a single life when you're in a relationship and you want a relationship when you're single. I do find men actually tend more towards this, if I'm totally honest with this mindset. But yeah, just want what you can't have really. So everything seems shinier and better if it's something you don't have. I do believe men have a tendency to get quite bored with the familiar and it is easy to devalue relationships, especially if it's been a long-term one like yes it happens with women as well I understand that but I'm just coming from a female perspective I do find most relationships I've personally had as well the guys completely devalued me when they were with me or just got very bored or like same

sex or whatever apparently I'm not you know the shiny new toy and so they want to look further afield then they look further afield and realize actually you were incredible and that's why they try and come back. I think that they come back if their plans to play the field didn't work out. Did they think they were going to suddenly be this fucking stud? And actually, there is not pussy on tap. There isn't a queue of banging girls waiting at the front door. There isn't, mate. There isn't. You had it really good. I mean, most of my exes love you to death, you cunts, but you were definitely punching with me to begin with, weren't you? Talking to you. chubby oh no that's mean he's that's mean i shouldn't say that he's really nice guy

um but yeah all punching all fucking punching and yeah i was like madly in love with them because i thought they're really good people and i loved the way i loved them and the way they love me but there don't think for one minute you're gonna have a queue of nixes as soon as you're single like come on you've got to start treasuring what you have when you have it am i right girls i think that they come back just because they're lonely they just need someone in their life i hate to say it but you're not that special you are just a body someone to cuddle to sometimes sex with if there isn't that queue of women i've discovered playing the field didn't work out for them they are now lonely and they reminisce and miss what they had and also they might assume you're an easy

target for attention I know that's what happened with my ex I was his easy target in October I'm in Singapore I'm the last proper deep relationship he's had if he's fucked someone since then it would just be a rebound so it's you know it's an easy option for him to get some of that special connection back very instantly as well you don't have to work for it with an ex you know because it's already there. They might come back just for sex. Let's put it that way. That's it. They might because they want sex. They can't get sex or they want sex with you because it used to be really good. It was a great connection. That's it. That's what they come back for. Shag. Done. They might come back for an ego boost, feeling a bit lonely or they're feeling rejected. Maybe

they had a girlfriend for a bit and she rejected them or they broke up and you're a good ego boost because they think about the love you had or they think about the way you made them feel or perhaps you've got really attractive all of a sudden or you've worked on yourself and now you're his ego boost. But yeah, the ego boost can really force them to come back. Or, or is a rarity that they went away, actually spent time on themselves and healed and then came back

because they've discovered that you are an incredible person. They've discovered that you enhance their life and they're really ready for commitment now. I say rarity because it is. It happens. Some guys actually freak out with commitment, break up with you because it's like, oh, it's going too fast, it's too much, it's too everything.

And then they settle down and go, what was I so afraid of? What was going on? And then perhaps they might see you dating. You'll be like, what? No one else can have her. And it will prompt them to, you know, be that committed partner that you really want. Rarity.

I believe a lot of the previous shit I've already spoke about is the reasons why men come back. It's definitely a grass is greener, basic scenario. That's your main port of call here. Coupled with loneliness, coupled with, you know, needing sex. it's what it is my darlings this is all very surface level shit they're rarely coming back because they want to be your life partner they want to put the ring on the finger they rarely come back because it's like oh my god I've realized you're incredible because if they were able to have that healthy ability to understand that they wouldn't have even broken up in the

first place you wouldn't be broken up this is why I keep trying to make clear we're talking about them being boomerangs because there's been a breakup already so something has gone wrong personally if I have a guy that returns to me after six months because he's played the field and realized I am the best thing he could get I don't want him to fucking even knock on my door don't come at me with that fucking shit like I am the best of what you could find no if you want me You value me when you've got me. Don't you dare go off and fuck around and go, actually, Nyx was the one because all these others aren't as funny as her or intelligent or they're shit in bed or that I get rejected. No, don't come at me with that bollocks. I have no feelings for you

once you've gone off. If you come back to me a month later when I'm still in that deep healing phase yeah I probably would take you back because I'm still madly in love with you but if you fuck off for half a year and then return going I'm so sorry like my ex did I'm so sorry no I can't even look at you you hot mess and that is the end of this episode I'd love to hear your thoughts how often do your boys boomerang back to you how long does it usually take have you got the same six months mark as me or is it shorter or longer guys if you have any insights genuine insights on why you actually do return and you think i should continue this conversation please let me know and i'm also

just love to be very interested myself i'm finding out why you guys do that um and also yes please share your stories of women doing the same thing as well and the reasons for it i always find extremely interesting. Thank you very much for listening to me for another week of Can't Keep My Mouth Shut. And I can't wait to see you next week for another exciting episode. Thanks for listening to the Can't Keep My Mouth Shut podcast, produced and hosted by me, Nick Salina. I'm recorded in the Splice Car Studios in Singapore. I'm available to listen to on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google, and all major podcast listening apps. Do subscribe to enjoy a new episode every Monday evening. Please do give me a five-star review. It helps other

people also find my podcast. For more content and features to read, you can check out my website, nixalina.com. That's nixalina.com. I'm also on social media. Simply search at Nixalina, N-I-X-A-L-I-M-A to find me. Don't be shy. Come say hi.