Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - Do Yourself a Favour - Delete ALL Your Dating Apps

Episode Date: November 13, 2023

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This podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships, sex and love. It may not be suitable for younger listeners. This is the Can't Keep My Mouth Shut podcast and I am Nixalina. Hi, it's Nixalina. Happy Monday evening. I hope you're all well. Had a great weekend. Have an exciting week coming up. this one is for all my single people out there and it is called do yourself a favor delete all of your dating apps what what did she say is she crazy yeah do yourself a fucking favor and delete those dating apps allow me to explain single people don't all faint and

go and get a glass of wine to steady the nerves. I will make sense. I promise. So depending on how long you've been single for, you've probably found that dating apps, for some reason, every now and again, get you overwhelmed. It's not just me. It's a lot of my girlfriends. There will be periods where I had to delete. I delete all the apps. Just delete them, right? No, I need some time off. and then they'll re-download them again and I have been a victim to that cycle myself and it it was a curious thing to me I'm like why is a few of us now are single girls I said I'll say you know I'm not now but at the time why are we doing that why do we feel the need to delete them get them off our phones where's that overwhelming feeling coming from and it was a very overwhelming

feeling and so I started to realize that there is a lot of negative emotion coming from the apps and that's why we need to delete them like there's something attached to using them that is creating a negative experience and then like you'll you know get over it in like a month or so or someone will go oh my god I met this hot guy on Bumble then you get FOMO and then you feel a bit better send you guys you redownload it again create a whole new profile or sign into your old profile you know but why why do we feel that way um so that's one angle of it but also the other angle of it of deleting your dating apps is that I want to explain to you that I have never met a single long-term partner off a dating app not one

not fucking one let me think of my long-term partners I had one two three four ones about two year long why like my mid-20s four all of them met in person my five-year-one 29 years old main person ex-fiancee main person current boyfriend main person there is not a single fucking relationship I met off a dating app and yet and yet I was on every fucking dating app in my 20s and then after each breakup I go back on every new dating app like they used to be back in my day. There was plenty of fish. There was Badoo. Happn, is Happn still around? I think so. But the three that I was on in Singers was Bumble, Tinder and Hinge. Tinder was full of shite. I don't even, I just kept it, I don't, I never, not once. I didn't even DM

anyone on tinder it was like a safety net like i don't know i don't know why i was mainly active on bumble and hinge never ever did i find a partner from a dating app now listen to what i'm saying i'm not saying i didn't go on dates from dating apps yes i fucking did and they all turned out to be fucking troglodytes what's a troglodyte it's a demeaning term for men because it represents cave dwellers, a species that lives in fucking caves. Basically, imbeciles, right? Let's call them that. I met a plethora of imbeciles, and I would go on a date two days,

maybe two weeks, maybe, maybe it might reach a two-week mark. Did it ever, ever flourish into a relationship? Fucking no. and when I was thinking about this episode there was one guy that come to mind just one from my London days and I met him on I think it was plenty of fish back in the day and plenty of fish was like our tinder as in it is a hookup it was it is it was a hookup um site and I was actually seeing him for like three months he was a football player um for Tottenham I think this but like not the main team unless it was the main team I can't remember man I remember football

player Tottenham uh huge dick as well huge I remember that bit um I like the guy I actually did like the guy. We went out a couple of times. I introduced him to my friends a couple of times. He'd come over to mine quite a lot. And he had a girlfriend the whole time. What do you know? He had a girlfriend the whole fucking time. And then he tried to crawl back to me like a year later. And he was still with her. But he was just curious about one more night with me because I'm into kinky shit she ain't I mean what a cunt right so this is what I'm trying to say that's the that's probably the longest if you want to try and call their relationship experience I've had meeting a man off the apps it never ends well don't ask me why

because I have got stories of people meeting on the apps. One of my best friends and her partner, I adore her, I adore him. I know they met on the app. And I've heard really positive stories, but they're not common knowledge. They seem to be in the minority, right? And for me, every relationship I've had where it felt like it wasn't a naturally progressive relationship, it was an organic meeting and it's just better and I also feel like the universe

sends you someone when you'd least expect it anyway so when you're on the apps like apart from the fact that it doesn't seem fruitful for me it wasn't it was never fruitful um secondly when you're swiping you just feel like oh it actually gets you down you're like I'm there I'm gonna be fucking single till I'm dead every one of these are fucking ugly cunts like or they don't fancy any of them or they have morals or shit that I don't agree with or they write oh just looking for fun oh and you're just like they're swiping in the bath or watching tv or in the cab just feeling more down than before you even went on the app or you do start talking to someone you do get excited you transfer it to whatsapp or perhaps even have a first date

and they turn out to be even more of a cunt and then you're even more down because you're like oh like everyone I meet off their shit like when when is it my turn right or there's other option like me where you just pile up the fucking dms and never respond because you're too fucking busy and then or that or you have a conversation going then they suddenly stop talking to you. And then that sets off your insecurities. Like, oh, I thought we were having a really good conversation and we didn't even get to like swapping number marks and they've just unmatched me or they've just stopped talking to me. Then you feel worried or insecure or knocks your confidence. It's an endless negative cycle of emotion. In my

opinion. It's what it is. And for what? Because it never ends well. I'm telling you, the eligible people out there, I don't think they're on apps. I really don't. I mean, saying that, I think my boyfriend was on an app. I think he was on Bumble. I can't remember. And he's very eligible. But I'm like wow maybe did I swipe left to him in like one pissed off dating app swiping session maybe and that's the other thing is it's so hard to tell about connection and tell people in real life for their fucking app from their stupid profile from the photos they've chosen from the three pictures they put up from the silly questions that they've answered you can connect with someone in real life that you had no clue you'd ever connect with ever

like it can be a real shock to your system and an incredible surprising experience but you would you have swiped no I always said like my ex-fiancee if I'd met him on I wouldn't have met him on app I would have swiped left didn't didn't fancy him I can say that now because he was a cunt but I didn't fancy him like not in the way I fancied the one before yeah he's like it's not my type I would have swiped left so you know and then I suggest to marry him because we connected or at least I thought we did but it's not me like I don't think dating apps really work for someone trying to find true love I really really don't and then also you have that element where it's discussed at the beginning where like it all

becomes so overwhelming but in a negative way that you almost just want to delete them off your phone. That's not right. If that's how you get to feeling, it's an exhausting, frustrating experience for you. That's not right. That means something on your phone is causing you misery. Delete them for good. You ain't going to, I say this, I know, people do. I'll say you ain't going to meet the guy or girl of your dreams on the apps. That's what I think. I know there are exceptions to the rule, but there are exceptions to every rule because that's the prior basis of a rule is there will be an exception. But I don't think you will. I think your best bet is to clear the apps off your phone. And in doing so, clear your mind, focus on other shit that's

not on an app or swiping people's endless profiles and go out instead and meet people in real life and go and have fun by yourself or with your friends or whatever it is you want to do. And I'm telling you, I put money on it. That's when, that's when you're going to meet someone really unexpected, very spontaneous. That's happened to me my whole fucking life. I'm telling you. Like even in London, meet people like walking to the train station. I'm walking past, we clock each other. He's looking back at me. I'm looking back at him. The next thing you know, he's walking back to me and like, girl, I got to take your number. Like you're stunning. That shit. That's the shit I'm talking about. Meeting at bus stops, MRTs, meeting at bars, friends, parties, you know,

you know, not on fucking Tinder. Do yourself a favor, delete all of your dating apps and don't download them again. And if you do, take it with a different mindset. Um, Because, yeah, I just don't want to encourage this desperate, frustrating, negative, insecure frame of mind that I believe the apps can help push forth and flourish in people's head spaces. And I think it's wrong because it's pointless when, you know, the best relationships come from a really beautiful, organic, out of the blue connection. in real life, not off your phone. And on that note, that is the end of this episode. I hope I've given you some food for thought with this one. And I hope you do take my advice. If you do, let me know how you're going. Let me know if you've already deleted the apps, if you feel the same as me, if they didn't fucking work for you and you feel much better without them. Yeah.

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