Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - Dude, You Gave Me The Ick - 15 Things NOT to Do When Dating

Episode Date: September 4, 2023

Sigh. Just when it was going well - he went and gave me the damn ICK. Here's my list of 15 things that immediately put me off a guy in the early stages of dating. ​For more awesome content to read including beauty, fashion or dating & love features, please do head over to my digital platform www.nixalina.com. Don't be shy, come say hai! Head over to my Instagram or Tiktok to slide into my DMs.

This podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships, sex and love. It may not be suitable for younger listeners. This is the Can't Keep My Mouth Shut podcast and I am Nick Salina. Hi everyone and hi to all the dudes tuning in. This episode is called Dude, You Gave Me The Ick. 15 things not to do when dating. Guys, I'm not attacking you. You know I love you.

But there are some ick moments where I'm like, oh, you've ruined it. You've ruined it. Nap. Get out. Can't. And once I get the ick, I can't go back. I don't think many people can. It's like a turning point in the dating phase where you go, nap.

You kind of, ugh. In fact, the one example, you know, I love examples. I was seeing this guy for a while recently. And he said, I can't remember what he said or did one morning over breakfast. I just went inside, cringed. And I can't, I can't look at him and say, I haven't spoke to him since. I have no interest. one minute I'm like all in and then I was like oh fuck nah no no no no no no and I just couldn't look at him in the same way since so sorry about that bro but not really so what is the ick the ick is something you say or do um usually in the early stages of dating where you basically just turn the person off. It's very distressing when you're on the receiving end of that if you don't know what you've done or you think you're you know getting comfortable with someone and then suddenly they just disappear. It does suck. I'm not making light of that but this is kind of a

helpful episode for you guys in that this is the kind of list of shit that gives me the ick when I'm dating to kind of avoid doing that, right? Or at least if you're a girl tuning in, you can be like, yeah, that list, that definitely gives me all the ick as well. So without further ado, I'm just going to jump into my 15. I'm sure it will trigger some of you. Sorry, not fucking sorry. Point one, inappropriate photos. Ew. Okay. I got sent one recently. It wasn't actually that inappropriate, but the, the pose that I got sent, as soon as I saw this photo, I was like, ew, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. No interest in meeting this person ever again. It gave me the ick because it was just the oddest pose I've ever...

Oh, I even think recalling it is cringing me out. But I'm not just talking about weird poses. I mean inappropriate photos like dick pics or random shit that I don't want. Like if I don't know you and you're sending me random photos of your day and I don't just mean selfies, I mean random shit going,

oh, look at my coffee or something. I'm like, what? i feel like you can really overshare too quickly and don't send inappropriate photos too quickly also don't send your fucking dick photo or a gym selfie topless like oh it's like babe can't wait to see you and you've pulled your top up and showing like your four pack cringe ick no bye point two not looking a fucking thing like your photos if I've met you online and I rock up and I'm like Jesus Christ you filtered that or you photoshopped that but I've got the ick not because I have an issue with how you look in person but because I have an issue with the fact that you

overly filtered your photos so you must feel quite insecure with yourself and how you look that's where my brain goes I go deep man I go immediately deep you are insecure or you have low self-esteem because you haven't put your real face out there right or you've lied about something and the photo you've put up matches the lie but then in reality it's fucking obvious that that was a lie then I'm not interested immediately not interested I'm like ew like bro if you're not real from the get-go you've got literally zero part of my attention from this point on it's a big fat no from me. Point three jumping in too fast too soon I am not kidding with this there as being a guy that I met and like went for chilled coffee and basically started talking

about wife stuff before I'd even met up with him on the second day. As in like, I want to make you my wife. He weren't joking, y'all. He's being serious. Of course, I appreciate. I'm fucking hot shit I would make a great wife for anyone we know this but how do you know you want me as your wife when all we've done is had a fucking coffee yes we were texting and conversing yes I had a lovely time at the coffee but when he started doing that shit it felt like it was escalating to the point I didn't even want to do a second third or fourth date which I would have done if he chilled the balls out and whilst it was an ego boost that doesn't say to me you're a solid stable man I got the ick because he was talking to me about wifing me up with I'm not

I'm not joking I didn't misread the signs he was being fucking serious and I would try and joke it off. No, no, no. He was beelining to stitch me down. So I stitched him up. Bye. Gone. No thank you. Point four, you have a demeanour of being above me or more intelligent or demeaning conversations. Oh, ick. I went on one date back in London. I think I wrote about it. I called like, don't Sherlock me. I'm Dr. Watson or something like that. The irony of me being called Watson as a surname and Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson was, you know, not missed on me. But basically this guy was like a good looking boy. Not amazing. Obviously just a devil. We met in this really chilled East End pub and he kind of Sherlocked me. So I sat down and then he's like,

oh yeah, I don't like looking in the mirror. The mirror's behind my head. Can we switch places? this so I just look just at you and then as we switch places he then starts going like oh so you do this for a living so you do that for a living so I take it like you've got mummy issues I was like excuse me well you talk about sex and dating and love obviously you're trying to prove a point trying to get out from like underneath your feet would you say that you're in your sister's shadow he went stuff like this you've got red lipstick on so you're obviously trying to be seductive but I sense some insecurity behind that because of this this and this and the way you sit and drink you've ordered I'm not kidding he went to town on me most I'm assuming most women

would be like oh my god you're so intelligent and observational I got really fucking angry so I waited till we spilled out and I'm talking a spiel and half of it was bollocks and then I went is it my turn and he was like yeah oh of course let me have it like what's your first impressions. And I was like, firstly, you switched the mirror seat because you couldn't bear the mirror behind my head when you're looking at me, either because you don't want to look at your reflection because you have low self-esteem and you don't like the way you look, or you're so love yourself that you wouldn't be able to stop looking at yourself whilst I'm trying to talk to you. Either option, I don't find attractive. You should be able to sit and talk to me with a mirror

behind my head without looking at you and just looking at me. Secondly, look at the clothes you turned up in they got holes in but you've done that on purpose because you haven't come on a first date with holes in your clothes you're trying to portray a devil may care attitude which makes me think you're actually quite the opposite and you really do care and you are quite insecure which is another reason why you felt the need to oversteem me with your sherlock vibe intelligence and observations when actually also you 80% wrong but you're trying to assert yourself with a woman that you think is really assertive because you are not assertive. I went on and on and on. And then I said, thank you so much for the drink. I am done now. And I left.

He texts me, desperate to see me afterwards, apologizing. I took it all the wrong way, blah, blah, blah. I didn't. I got him spot on the money. Don't talk to me like you're above me, right you're never ever gonna get past that chat if that is what you want to sit and do good luck to you dude I ain't fucking dealing with that absolutely not if you act like you're talking down to me your CEO or something or this certain other bore off no interest we're an equal player field here you and me you want to go on a date with me you act like you want to be on a date with me and get to know me on a chilled as fuck level. Okay? Point number five, really bad kissing. Self-explanatory. You slobber around my face like you've got fucking fish lips and

leaving saliva everywhere. No, kissing, oh, it can be the biggest turn on or the biggest turn off. Please don't make me turn it off you. It's not hard to kiss well. I don't know why guys sometimes like just they always like they want to hoover me in. No, you kiss bad. Ick. See you fucking later. Point six. Signs of alpha, overly alpha player vibe, aka you're a cunt. Now gives me the ick i will admit early 20s nicks probably thought it's quite attractive saw it as a challenge oh he's alpha i love that he can take control in the bedroom no he's just gonna take control in general because he's a cunt if you come in too macho too alpha from the get-go i have no fucking interest in you anymore it means that this is basically who you are i just oh i've been

spurned spurned is that it spurned oh is it burned I've been through a lot okay with alpha cunts so for me personally that's an ick I like someone who is quietly confident of course I do make it very clear I do like my men to be dominant in a way of their personalities but being dominant doesn't mean alpha arsehole energy there is a difference learn it point seven horrendous chat oh give me the ick faster than that I was chatting to this dude at the weekend was it the other weekend before and I was just talking in the street and he's like oh yeah yeah it's for me yeah I'm for me yeah like that touching me at the same time and I went to be like don't fucking touch me I don't know you and then I can't remember what I said he was like yeah chill girl

chill yeah relax relax girl I'm like I am relaxed and I am chilled but don't fucking speak to me like that you want to set me off any quicker it's like a red flag to a ball chill girl yeah chill yeah relax I fucking hate being told to relax when there's not in a problem it's like he was super imposing himself above me in that moment by telling me to chill and relax when I hadn't I was like really having a great time it if I felt like it's very negative and I got immediate like I wanted to punch him I think horrendous chat is the biggest dick you can be so fucking stunning And if you open your mouth and you're making bad jokes that aren't funny or you're coming out with some cringy shit or you talk like that and you downplay women or you come out with the most random stuff. Oh, horrendous chat is my major ick.

I'm like, shut your fucking mouth, you cheapskate. Get out of my face. Bye. point eight you're sex focused at all times i don't know how many times i have to tell you this guys if you stop acting like you want to all you want is to get fucking laid you got a high chance of getting laid that's basic maths for you i've always declared myself as a modern day pythagoras with my 6t blowjob technique this is my other rule act like you don't want to get laid you or get laid you you literally sit there across me and make it obvious all you want to do is

fuck me and go I got the ick because it's like yeah we all got needs and also yes I don't want you to sit there and pretend you want a relationship when really all you want is a one-night stand I appreciate honesty at all times yes but when it's like yeah like all about sex like let me dress your bra size you can guess it all you want because you ain't fucking removing it oh yeah how about let me guess what your favorite position is oh yeah how about like we get back to mine like let's get dessert to take away yeah oh i just i just icked myself out like come on darling i don't know why all my men are chavvy british can't see this but i'm giving them the accent and we're rolling with it come on darling let's go back to mana for some fucking dessert in it

okay now i i've given myself the ick but you know what i mean you can be honest you can look um had a credible day like love to go back with you i am not in the frame of mind for anything serious right now but like you know if you want to grab a bottle and we can continue on yeah if you're constantly directing the fucking chat to sex touching me in ways i don't want to be touched and i haven't given you consent making out like you're some sex lord oh ick ick ick ick point nine smelling bad easy one you stink you smell bad bad breath no aftershave bo ick sorry hygiene's important done deal and don't even get me started on smelly dicks oh god is there anything worse than a cheesy dick no there's not that can be another episode in

itself point 10 personal issue here you're making cringy tiktoks if i see a guy making any kind of cringey TikTok content, like doing the dancing but badly. Maybe I'm just old, okay? I'm a millennial. I'm not a Gen Z. That cringes me out. I don't think, yeah, come at me. I think you look like an immature loser. This is probably going to trigger people on TikTok, but not saying I don't like tiktok content i do i just can't bear the cringiness that some i've watched some shit and i'm like are you not as humiliated for doing this as i am watching it i'm humiliated on your behalf bro savvy point 11 you eat with your mouth open fucking stop doing it this oh my god even just listening to me do that

that's awful not only do I not want to hear you chew every mouthful I don't want to see what you just put in your mouth and the worst is when they still talk they're chewing with their mouth open then they're talking while they're eating and you can see all the food moving around oh my god I gotta be fucking honest my ex he ate like a troll and I what I would sit across the table and look at him and I'd start to feel a bit sick like honestly I'd want to leave because watching him eat made me not hungry I had to really overcome that this was stuff I only found up down the line like if I saw it on date one he wouldn't have got past date one it was vile I was

like ew like why are you eating like a fucking slob eat with your mouth closed chew it eat quietly talk when your mouth is not full of food and don't spit food up done done point number 12 being rude to strangers and or service staff and basically being rude to people when you're out and about if I catch you talking down to a waiter or a waitress when we're at a bar that sets the tone for the kind of person you are and you can go fuck yourself nobody deserves to be spoken to in that way no you are not above anyone don't be rude to people be kind to everyone especially people and strangers in the street you don't know what they're going through so if you're rude to anyone in my presence you've got fucking immediate block don't do it and it

doesn't do well for your own like if you're really rude like that you're going to be rude to people forever and you're probably going to be rude to me like if you can talk to strangers like that imagine how you're going to talk to your missus when you get comfortable point 13 not offering to split the bill I always offer every first date at least to pay if a guy lets me pay and it has happened by the way let me pay the full amount didn't even offer had to spit it oh no fucking no offer make the reach I don't vibe that usually guys are pretty good these days like no keep it keep it away nicks I've got this one but in the past yeah they have they've let me pay on date one nah nah nah nah nah nah ick point 14 mansplaining oh

if you mansplain something to me like I'm a fucking cretin I'm gonna get an immediate ick what did my I can't remember one of my colleagues mansplained um an animal to me an animal and I remember looking at him and I was like did you just try and tell me the difference of animal bearing in mind animals are my thing anyway but it was a fucking really obvious scenario and I'm like nah are we mansplaining stuff to me that I already know because it's part of my job role and I've done it for 15 years of my life I pull him up on it we're really really close but you mansplain to me on a date you're not my colleague you're and you talk down to me as if you think I don't understand the basics of life or it's a really complicated thing that I couldn't

possibly grass with my pretty little head fuck off literally fuck off you obviously don't know who you're on a date with man's playing anything to me and if you do it more than once got the ick see you fucking later and finally point 15 touching me too much and too soon don't touch me inappropriately on the first date don't touch me when we're just chatting in a group of friends I've had it so many times I feel hands on my waist on my ass on my arm like guys trying to make the move and I have to awkwardly walk away if you touch me in a way that I don't I haven't given you any signal to do so and I barely know you nah ick I'll literally shuffle away and that's the end of that. Like, good luck trying to talk to me again. There we go. My 15 top icks when it comes

to dating. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Dudes, have you done any of these by accident? Have you done any of these on purpose? Do you do these things now and not realize that they're equally? Dolls, are you with me on this? Is there anything you'd add to this list? Is there anything in this list that actually doesn't bother you. Hit me up. I want to hear your thoughts on my ick list. Get in touch at nixalina, N-I-X-A-L-I-N-A. You can find me on Instagram or TikTok. And yeah, give me your opinions. Let's have a chat. In the meantime, thank you so much for listening to this episode, and I will see you all next week. thanks for listening to the can't keep my mouth shut podcast produced and hosted by me

nick selena i'm recorded in the splice cast studios in singapore i'm available to listen to on spotify apple podcasts google and all major podcast listening apps do subscribe to enjoy a new episode every monday evening please do give me a five-star review it helps other people also find my podcast for more content and features to read you can check out my website nixalina.com that's nixalina.com i'm also on social media simply search at nixalina n-i-x-a-l-i-m-a to find me don't be shy come say hi you