Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - Everything You Need To Know About My Debut Novel "LOLLY"

Episode Date: February 24, 2025

I'M SO EXCITEDDDDDDDDDDDDD. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. That is all. With love, Nixalina. ​For more awesome content to read including beauty, fashion or dating & love features, please do head over to my digital platform www.nixalina.com. Don't be shy, come say hai! Head over to my Instagram or Tiktok @nixalina to slide into my DMs.

This podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships, sex, and love. It may not be suitable for younger listeners. This is the Can't Keep My Mouth Shut podcast, and I am Nick Salina. Hello, it's Nick Salina. Welcome to Can't Keep My Mouth Shut. and I'm very excited about today's episode because I get to talk about my debut novel, Lolly. That crowd goes wild. That was me clapping.

That was like a sea of people clapping. Yeah, you got that? Note to self, you don't belong in any kind of voice sound effect industry. Got it. so today's episode is called everything you need to know about my debut domestic noir novel lolly how if you've been a follower of mine if you've been around since sex and london city times or maybe you're a new follower you just breezed right into the nick selena world you'll know about Lolly. Lolly is my novel, which has taken me nine years to write. I started it, I think

I started it actually in 2013, 2014, but I officially built the start of the manuscript ripped in 2015. And I finished it last year. Lolly is, how do we, how do we do this? How do I break this down? Let's start off with the domestic noir. Let's start with the genre of the novel. Now, I could just say very easily, it's a Fifty Shades of Grey type erotica piece. But it is and it isn't. I feel like if I give you Fifty Shades of Grey as the cliche comparison, you get an immediate understanding on my book. However, however, I want to make it extremely clear. I did not write Lolly off the back of Fifty Shades, nay nay, because I started it before Fifty Shades even existed on the planet. But also, it's semi-autobiographical. That's right, it's my personal experience. It's my trials and tribulations. It's my dating, sex and love life,

which is of course matching across all of my content and my brand my whole life. So there is agreeable symmetry there between the novel and what I do for a living in general. So is it erotic a genre? I call it no. I call it domestic noir. The reason they say it's part of the domestic noir sub-genre is because of, oh, this is tricky. This is a tricky one. I need to give a little, but not give too much away. Because of the ending and because of the ups and downs of that novel, I do believe it's domestic noir. A little, just a tiny bit over erotica, okay? So do you know what domestic noir genre is. It's a subgenre within the crime fiction. And it's almost always usually related to females. So if we head to Wikipedia, bear with me, this is an easiest way

to help you understand. Quoted by Elizabeth Haynes, who is apparently the queen of domestic noir, this is how she defined the genre in a nutshell domestic noir takes place primarily in homes and workplaces concerns itself largely but not exclusively with the female experience is based around relationships and takes as its base a broadly feminist view that the domestic sphere is a challenging and sometimes dangerous prospect for its inhabitants. We love that. We love that dark realism, you know, like relationships, marriages, colleague relationships. It's wonderful. It's glorious. It's gritty. It's real. And my God, lollies, all of those things and more.

So let me strip you right back, ladies and gentlemen, to a 21-year-old Nick Salina. I just graduated from university. I went to the University of East Anglia and I did an English literature degree because I wanted to become a journalist, a reporter. I wanted to work for a glossy magazine, you know, write features and change the world with my writing. I was so naive, bless me. So I graduate and I moved back to Kent. My university was in Norwich. For those who don't live in the UK, it's like a three hour drive away. I moved back and I have no idea what I'm doing I'm working at a bar for some cash I am like now I need to get my ass into London what do I do now I need to I need to adjust I've been three years in the student life

you know what my what's my plan and as luck would luck or not would bestow upon me a gentleman comes into my bar where I'm working and changes everything. I end up working for a glossy magazine in the East End of London, in Shoreditch, no less. And what unfolds is a very deep sexual, sensual, dark, obsessive, imitable relationship with one of the bosses. We call him Lolly. We call him Lolly. And Lolly has so many different qualities to the name. I called him Lolly as a nickname.

When the, like, oh, I'm really struggling not to divulge. The first time I realized there was a sexual connection was because he come in for my lunch one day. He puts a lolly down, a lolly pop on my desk. And in front of the whole office, he announces, I just want to watch you suck it. And then walks to his desk. I was gobsmacked I didn't know where to look I felt like everyone's eyes were on me I pretty sure I went bright red and he was extremely handsome ah god you read the book I don't want to tell you what it looks like because I need you to

read the book and you'll get the full description but to have a man like that make such an overt sexual thing towards me I was just gobsmacked like wow so the lollipop really holds a very significant part in that connection and relationship that was built but also lolly is a British slang for money like have you got much lolly in the bank I think it's a Cockney slang, which my family is actually originated from. I believe my mum's parents were Cockney. My granddad definitely was. So obviously it holds, you know, personal value. But yeah, my boss, he had a lot of lolly. He was, you know, richer than God. And his whole ethos and atmosphere in life was about getting money, more money, more money. So Lolly had a

lot of different connotations. There's a third aspect, which I can't tell you because I'm trying to play this as safe as possible. So yes, that's where the name Lolly came from. And what unfolds from that lollipop moment is such an incredible tale with twists and turns, bondage, sex parties, severe BDSM, contracts to sign, trips to the sex shop on Oxford Street before checking into the Hilton Park Lane. It all goes on.

there is valentine's weekend trips to the alps there is a summer in italy and there is amongst all of that the worst possible twist and tell ending that you will never see coming never see coming pun intended so i'm taking you on a journey of a young woman naive confident but naive thinking she knows it all she doesn't really know it all trying to survive in a world ruled by men trying to placate three bosses at once all of them men and one of them her new lover and trying to prevent falling in love trying to climb the career ladder and yeah as a first job goes out of uni I picked a fucking jobs worth true Nick Salina style I don't do anything easy and I don't do anything by halves

so that's the lolly narrative the concept of the book there are 30 chapters it is 140,000 words, long, I don't know, 300 or so plus pages, nine years in writing. And last year, I got three publishing deals for it. I've never been prouder of myself. Three, three publishing deals. Could not be prouder. But here's the thing. I think I'm gonna have to turn them all down. What? I know, I know. So listen, in this day and age, what with social media and someone whose life has been built on a brand in marketing, hello, that's me. You can self-publish to a very high level where you have control over your work. And I am, the reason I've not fully signed, I got to sign the third one. Okay. So the first two, I was like sitting on them, not okay. There was things in that

contract that were going to bind me to future rights, like film rights, TV rights, audio. And there were things where actually I wasn't comfortable that in that publishing house have such control. And then the second one was a similar vein. And then the third one, I was ready to sign. The third one I really loved. However, the more I sat on it, the more I talked to people, I believe they are pricing my book too high. Can you believe that? I don't know how many authors especially debut authors would be worried that their book is too expensive but I do I think it's I think they want too much and I am god I sound ungrateful I'm so grateful that they value my work at that price I really am I'm very honored that they believe my manuscript is worth

that much. But I don't want to make people pay that. I don't want people to have to pay what the publishing house thinks it's worth. I want it to be cheaper for everyone. I want Lolly to be available to someone, you know, who doesn't usually read, who decides, you know, hey, what? Why not pick it up? I want it to be available inclusively. And I think with the pricing point, they're making it a little bit too exclusive. So I haven't signed that publishing deal yet. And the more this goes on, the more I think, hey, wait, self-publishing might be actually the best option. And I can't believe I'm saying it. I can't believe I'm saying I've got three publishing deals. And I can't believe I'm saying I might turn them all down.

What? Am I like insane or am I a genius? We will find out this year, 2025. Is she mad or is she mad but insanely clever? It's always a fine line, ain't it, between the two. Have you noticed? Lots of geniuses in their time were actually deemed like a laughingstock and a bit mental. Einstein, I believe, was one of them. Is it Einstein? Anyway, digressed. I'm not comparing myself to Albert Einstein. I am not putting myself in that category. But yes, so that's where I'm at with Lottie. I had a book cover designed many moons ago. I now want to revise that. I've had an editor proofread my work and edit my work. To be very clear, I've had no ghostwriter. And you can't write erotica on chat these days, okay? AI can't

help you. So you know, this work is my own personal blood, sweat and tears, my own memories, my own words. And you'll realize it's my own memories and words because you can't make this shit up about what actually happens it's insane like it you I read it back and I'm like that can't have been real life fucking was oh god anywho it will be coming out in 2025 I'm still deciding on whether I sign the deal or not or I go self-publishing what I will 110 20 billion percent be doing, is a book launch in Singapore. I'll have a very limited edition stack of signed copies for people attending my book launch in Singapore. Of course, true Nick Salina style, it'll involve a big ass party. It'll involve a lot of champagne. And I'll treat you to something very special that

evening. I will also be offering signed copies for the world to also order. I understand that It's not fair if it's just exclusively Singapore. I know a lot of my London and UK people want one, so there'll be a limited edition of those. And then, yeah, the rest is for everyone to enjoy. That's where we're at with Lolly. Everything you need to know. Thank you so much to everyone who showed their support.

I have serious imposter syndrome with this one, so when I eventually release it, be kind. But hopefully you enjoy it. And I hope it doesn't affect you as badly as it affected me living it. And that's all I say on the matter. Thank you very much for listening. As always, if you need me, if you want me, slide into my DMs on Instagram at nixalina, N-I-X-A-L-I-N-A. And with that, I will see you all next week.

thanks for listening to the can't keep my mouth shut podcast produced and hosted by me nick selena i'm recorded in the splice cast studios in singapore i'm available to listen to on spotify apple podcasts google and all major podcast listening apps do subscribe to enjoy a new episode every monday evening please do give me a five-star review it helps other people also find my podcast for more content and features to read you can check out my website nixalina.com that's nixalina.com i'm also on social media simply search at nixalina n-i-x-a-l-i-m-a to find me don't be shy come say hi you