Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - Exploring my Multicultural Relationship in Singapore

Episode Date: November 27, 2023

​Well well well, who could have called this one?  It's the plot twist none of us saw coming!  For more awesome content to read including beauty, fashion or dating & love features, please do head over to my digital platform www.nixalina.com. Don't be shy, come say hai! Head over to my Instagram or Tiktok @nixalina to slide into my DMs.

This podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships, sex, and love. It may not be suitable for younger listeners. This is the Can't Keep My Mouth Shut podcast, and I am Nick Salina. Hi, it's Nick Salina. Welcome back to another episode of Me. Yay! Happy Monday evening. I hope you all have had a great weekend and have a really awesome week coming up. Today's episode is kind of an episode I don't think any of us saw coming. And yet here we are. It is called Exploring My Multicultural Relationship in Singapore. And let's pause for dramatic effect. If you're on my Instagram,

you will know or listen to last week's episode you will know I have a boyfriend now but not only do I have a boyfriend he's Singaporean what what what I know I know trust me I know brain blown and I don't know if any of you were on my social media say last year I actually threw, this is relevant to the story, I promise. I threw a party, single as fuck party, right? A really cool networking event. Singles from everywhere can come, open to all, drink, have fun, play with some adult toys. And yeah, just generally network and maybe meet people.

So great success, great success. I ended up spending most of my time with my three local boy mates. We were all doing shots. heart you Edwin we were doing shots until ridiculous o'clock like we all stumbled home um lots of people I think left maybe like 10 30 11 yeah we were there till the end and I recorded it all right documented it all whatever we're there filming great I did a Q&A anonymous Q&A like maybe a month later and that anonymous Q&A went down the route of that party for some reason one person asked something and then it spiraled and a lot of

the questions was why did you spend all your time with your angmo friends what oh why do you only date white boys you don't date any locals and it was like really aggressive questions based on absolute bollocks. And I'm like, hang on a minute, what? Firstly, I was with my local boymates most of the night versus my other friends. So this whole, like, I only hang out with my expat mates is just utter trash. And secondly, and I try to explain this in my response. It's not that I don't not date locals. It's just I hadn't met someone that I fancied. So for my dating history, for complete clarification, I moved here in a long-term relationship. I was with the guy for four and a half years and I moved him over from the UK,

right? And then I only had six months of being single and I really stayed single because I was heartbroken we know that's what I do don't we I do that um I'm very very strong filled about like staying single when you're heartbroken so that was six months and then I met the fiance who just so happened to be Australian could have been anyone right he just we met organically I fancied him he fancied me at the time and that was that and then after I left the fiance say I just dated and like I didn't really date anyone like you know there was no one that I gave a shit about but it's not like I'm actively not dating I wouldn't avoid anyone I just have to fancy someone that's all that is the prerequisite I have to see a guy and be like oh my god you are

hot that's the start of the conversation and then I have to get talking to them and then start you know, I have to find them funny. You've got to make me laugh, bro. I've got to piss my pants a little bit. And then I've got to find them intelligent. They've got to be able to hold a conversation. They've got to make me think about stuff, you know. There's all that depth. And then if they tick all those boxes, then I'm in. And I guess at that point, it's worth introducing you to my partner, who is in fact all of the above. So we met on a random Tuesday at employees only. Yep. Your girl was at a press event, wasn't I? Ow. I was out, out, out. Don't you should go out midweek as much as like it looks. I know everyone's

like, Nick's girl, you're out all the fucking time. But a Tuesday night, I'm usually at Netball. So this was a very particular evening that I was at a press event run by a really good friend of mine. So I was there to support and I ended up going to EO after to meet a mate and my partner was there with my friend and I remember like we went outside um to have a cigarette and I like it was the first time I'd looked him so there was loads of people around like it's a big group and I was just catching up with my girlfriend but then I was like okay I'm going out for a smoke and he's like yeah me too I'll come with and I got outside and I just looked at him I was like fucking hell you're beautiful you know when you just look at someone I'm like

you are so pretty like you are really pretty and he just smiled and then the smile like elevates how gorgeous he is times a hundred and I was like are you single he's like yep um I'm like yeah me too and I asked him his age he's 30 I'm like okay I'm 36 six years older okay um basically we kind of just immediately hit it off and have been inseparable ever since that night and I mean inseparable um how much detail do I go into so for me it wasn't I don't I don't give a fuck about anyone's background or culture or race. I don't care. I care about the soul. I care about the individual, the person, you know? And I was blown away by how much me and him just fit together. And it's just bizarre. Like, you know, so let's call a spade a spade. We have to deal

with a different upbringing. So obviously I have a Western upbringing. He has an Asian upbringing and we kind of like have really interesting conversations about that. But it's never negative. It's so positive. It just opens my mind up more. And I love hearing his opinions and vice versa with me and like I just I see so much positive from our different backgrounds like I see it's incredible and it actually like it makes me so much more into him and interested in him and I love learning about him and vice versa and there are certain things that we've had to, like, compromise on, you know, like, for instance, raising children. He has his views. I have my views. And then we kind of have to work towards that. And yes, before you go, what? We

have, of course, already discussed kids. I am 36, people. I can't waste another fucking year with another fucking cunt not getting anywhere, being treated like shit. Nah, nah, nah. Your girl wants kids okay and if you're at my age please do raise these very important questions early on marriage kids where you want to live what's your goal and if you can't connect on one of these huge deal breakers don't waste your time sorry not sorry so with him we have had the discussion think fuck he wants kids he wants way more than I do he wants six of them six mate I'm giving you two at a fucking push and at a push I mean literally six will break my body into a billion pieces but even that I might too six six okay now I'm gonna be busy

and traumatized imagine six of may this is what i said to him last night imagine a miniature me running around terrorizing us i'm not even sure one's a good idea a mini nick selena nah nah but on the topic of kids fuck me that man is beautiful and they think of our children. He's so stunning. I could look at his face all fucking day, honestly. And what makes him so much more attractive is his personality and the way he's so thoughtful and caring. And I never had this with my exes. And I don't know whether it is the cultural upbringing and the background but he thinks about me and my wants and my needs and he prioritizes that at all times my ex gave no fucks I was basically a trophy bitch to my ex and I did

whatever he needed at the time and then he'd do whatever he wanted to do this is so different this feels like a completely different level of relationship where there's actually like respect for each other open communication um and but also like we love to go out and party like for some reason me and him we're up till fucking seven in the morning four in the morning I'm like how I need sleep I can't continue like this just always up together I never want the nights to end and we just have the most fun now I know what you're going to be asking you're like yeah yeah blah blah blah but what about how other people react to you no one fucking cares honestly so far and I know if this could change or there'll be incidences I'm sure in the future but

no one looks at us or says anything you know we get in cabs we go out like to bars clubs to the beach no one says anything at all I mean like I do see we was walking on Sentosa last weekend and I did see a lot of people looking at us but it might just be I mean because he's extremely good looking boy so it could just be that but no I've had no no bad backlash no comments made nothing and it's interesting because you would think that you you would and I actually had um I had a really good chat with one of my girlfriends uh recently who's also just started dating a Singaporean as well we're both like what she's also from the UK she's lived here a few years and we just had this really like deep discussion about what it's like dating a Singaporean versus dating a western boy

which is kind of what we've been used to because of course because you know that's where we come from and it's so refreshingly different it just feels like a really like a very honest space and a very loving space and yeah now I have it I'm fucking addicted like never want to lose this don't think I'll be able to go back to um a cunt honestly I genuinely feel that way um he's just such an oh just such a breath of fresh air and oh my god the sex it's so good so good he's like six foot tall buff as hell I honestly wears the shit out of a shirt like seeing my boyfriend in a shirt like I'm like fucking marry me now marry me now now incredibly good looking tall buff and fucking great in bed hello I've won jackpot hello hello

hello and if you're wondering what he does for a living he works in the CBD so pretty standard like it's works in the CBD works in finance I think he works in finance you know what I don't actually know what he does he asked what did he say I can't remember last night at a dinner and I said something and he's like you know that's not what I do for a living right I was like really I'm going I just know he works in the CBD and he wears a fucking suit and that's all I care about I feel like I've made the poor boy just a beautiful sex object for myself which is 50% true but no serious aside we're also not only dealing with the multicultural we're also dealing with the age gap. I am six years older than him. I was looking for a guy who was older

because I thought that would mean they're more likely to settle down, they're more likely to be more mature, more caring. So I was looking at like late 30s, early 40s, if I'm honest, that was my ideal. And not only that, I was looking to emigrate back. So I kind of made it sort of public knowledge that I was planning to leave Singapore this whole year has been me getting in myself in a space to move back um I eat you know like I even got quotes to fly the cats five fucking grand later five grand and that was the cheapest 5250 fucking sing dollars to get those furry little shits on a plane to the UK winding me up I'm just gonna pick my favorite and it take one I'm kidding I'm kidding I'm kidding. My children come with me, whatever happens. But yeah, I was planning to fly my babies

back. I was looking at jobs in London. I was applying for jobs in London. I was looking at jobs in Australia, Dubai. I was leaving Singapore 110%. I even told my family we had a plan in place. I was going to tell my lodger because she's renting my apartment in the UK. It was a done and dusted deal and now like he's derailed every plan I had but in the best possible way he's like okay you gotta apply for PR now I'm like really really I never even thought about that and next year is my eighth year in Singapore eight fucking years living here and I just thought at some point I'd move back you know it felt it always felt like it wasn't a long-term home but I don't know why it almost feels like I felt like compelled like I felt guilt leaving my family

I felt guilt leaving my home country it's bizarre it's very bizarre feeling and yet every time I do go back I'm like fuck this place let get me back to Singapore ASAP but now it's like I still talk as if I'm leaving and I'm not even my girlfriend picked up on it at the weekend and I said oh yeah if I'm still here next year to a plan we were making she was like what do you mean if you're still here well of course you're gonna be here you're with a Singaporean where the fuck are you going and I said oh yeah oh yeah yeah I will be here it's bizarre it's a bizarre thing and it's literally blindsided me it's come out of fucking nowhere honest to god nowhere and such a huge plot twist and in every possible way as well every possible way like even we talk about

stuff like i'm putting up my christmas tree you know and i'm like oh you like do you want me to cook you a roast dinner and i'll put up the christmas tree and he's like i've never had a a British roast dinner what mate you've never you've never had a British roast dinner firstly I cook the fucking best ones and we all if you're on my Instagram you would have seen them secondly it's like a rite of passage so now I'm like gonna have to cook you a roast dinner and I'm like he's introducing me to local food that he eats and I'm like okay I'm gonna try it for you. Sometimes I love it. Sometimes I hate it. But it's just so much fun to bring the different cultures together. And it just so works for us. He adores me. I adore him. We connect on every

possible level that I'd need from a relationship. And yeah, like it's long term for sure. Totally. I don't even want to go a day without him and vice versa. Like, we are inseparable. Yeah, just very comfortable around each other. And I think we're both a little vain as well. We're both quite on top of, like, how we look. It's important to us. He's definitely more vain than I am, for sure.

But I can, like, run around the house naked, no makeup on. and I don't care like it's just yeah it's great um his family love me I've met the family like it's all good there is no negative here I will do so let's do a recap in like six months time on this topic and see if there's been anything that's changed like if there's been any negative responses to us but at the moment it's just great like yeah it's just fantastic like even cabbies get involved he'll talk to the cabbie in a completely different language and I'm sitting there like la la la and then they'll laugh and talk about something and then we'll talk about marriage and stuff like that it's just uh yeah it's fun it's interesting and it's just been such

a positive experience and I'm so thankful that I didn't emigrate back and I'm so glad I stayed and I'm so glad I found him um so yeah look at me gushing okay gush for 20 minutes now so I'm gonna go but also I would love to hear your thoughts are you in a multicultural relationship in Singapore how have you found it where did you meet have there been any issues or negativity and what's the deal please do share your stories with me I'd love to hear them you can slide into my dms as always I'm on tiktok and instagram on all social media platforms at nixalina n-i-x-a-l-i-n-a and with that this is the end of this episode and I look forward to seeing you all next week Thanks for listening to the Can't Keep My Mouth Shut podcast,

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