Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - How to Become a Successful Blogger / Influencer

Episode Date: August 10, 2020

Want to be a blogger? Fancy becoming an influencer? Don't know how to even start? Need some inspiration on creating your own brand? Instead of answering individual interviews and questions in my DMs on social, I have put together this checklist on achieving success as a blogger / influencer. These are not set in stone, these are not the global rules and these are not verified by some 'blogging powers that be' from up above.  They are, however, based on my extensive experience and knowledge within the industry and hopefully if you take them on board, you'll do pretty well for yourself too!

This podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships and sex. It may not be suitable for younger listeners. This is the Sex in Singapore City podcast and I'm Nixalina Watson. Hi everyone, it's Nixalina and I'm back with another episode of my wonderful podcast, How You're Doing. This one is like a how-to, a do's and don'ts vibe. is something I talked about a fair few years ago, and it keeps resurfacing. So basically, the aim of the game with this is how to become a successful blogger, the do's and don'ts of blogging. You can interchange the word blogger and blogging with Instagrammer, with influencer,

however you want to coin it, media creator. But originally, this was when I was not a podcaster, just a blogger. And basically, I kind of reached the height of my fame back in the UK. And I got a lot of interviews about how did I get there? A lot of DMs, a lot of emails. And I think that's generally what happens when someone reaches success in their chosen field. Everyone usually wants to know like how you've done it, especially if it's something like this, where people also want to go down that field. I'm not just talking about blogging with relationships with fashion or beauty. I mean, people do blogs now about fitness, about, you know, lifestyle choices. There's like a whole array of media outlets on the internet and people's expertise. But to start as a blogger,

especially in this day and age, it does feel like a minefield. It always has done. And you just think oh my god like how how do you set it up how when why how do you get success how do you get this blah blah blah so having answered lots of individual interviews and questions and more interviews and questions I put together basically my own checklist on achieving success as a blogger slash influencer slash instagrammer and hopefully in the future I'll be an award-winning podcaster Although some of the story times that are going to be released, I guarantee people are probably going to not want to listen to me anymore. But stay tuned for that.

So this checklist, I will reiterate, it's not set in stone. It's not, you know, any kind of verified global rules. There's no blogging powers that be from up above that have certified what I'm about to say. But this is basically, when I look back on my own career, how I deem how I got there. And for those of you who don't know, in London, I set up Sex in London City in 2010. I was 23. In the blogging world, that's actually old. I remember looking at one of the bloggers I really liked at the time. She was 16, 17. Yeah. And I set it up just because

I like to write rather than I want to be a blogger it was more I want to have a website back at the time I'd moved from working for a magazine into being a makeup artist for Benefit Cosmetics so I was doing makeup full-time but really missed having a writing outlet I had no idea oh god I had no idea it was going to escalate at all into this and I actually set the blog up when I was just chilling out at my dad's house in the bedroom one day. And yeah, it's just crazy to look back. So within about a year, I had got an agent. I was then, within about a year and a half, two years, working with Rimmel Cosmetics,

doing London Fashion Week videos, makeup tutorials for them. I was going to press events in London. I was, yeah, doing a lot, a lot of stuff. And I also had a full-time job at the same time. And then in 2014, I won Best Sex and Relationships Blog Award for Cosmopolitan UK magazine. And then I won a job with London Metro, which is quite a big London website. And I was their dating vlogger. And then I was asked to cover MTV EMAs in Scotland and do Red Carpet.

So this is the kind of stuff I kind of got to do quite quick. I say quite quickly, so it was like four years. But in the grand scheme of things, that is quite a quick turnaround. But it takes a lot of graft. And then after that, I was then freelancing for the likes of Glamour, Daily Mail. I'm not proud of the Daily Mail, if I'm totally honest. There's a lot of photos of me on there in my lingerie. And we all know Daily Mail.

Yes, we all know what we go there for to read. It's not exactly decent stuff. if it's more salacious, never mind. And yeah, I was earning a lot of money. I was being asked to do a lot of cool gigs. Yeah, a lot of interviews. So for anyone who wants to follow in said footsteps or perhaps something surrounding this kind of media content creation area, this is the podcast that I've created for you. So let's get to it. The do's and don'ts of blogging, how to become a successful blogger. Number one, do find a gap in the market and fill it. So there are hordes of famous fashion, beauty, travel and lifestyle Instagrammers and bloggers

out there. If you want to compete with the best of the best, I think you should take a look at what's missing and kind of make it your aim to provide something that nobody else does. this doesn't mean by any stretch of the imagination avoid the same subjects just find your own unique angle for me i actually set up a blog called the modern day mary a mary antoinette the queen of france was obsessed with luxury um all the finer things in life and i kind of not actually ironically so not like that so i don't know what i was thinking but that was my fashion and beauty blog. And then I started writing about dating in London and bad dates and previous terrible trysts. And I called that segment Sex in London City. So it was actually originally just a

tiny segment on the modern day Mary A. And then I started noticing the traffic and the uptake and the social responses to these particular dating articles. So then I searched and I thought, God, there's got to be a company out there that's already done Sex in London City I mean it's an obvious kind of take off sex in the city which is so famous and weirdly no one had done it I thought it was very odd so I then rebranded and I made everything sex in London City and that's kind of where I felt I had found my gap in the market I did do originally fashion and beauty and I'm beauty I do have you know I was a makeup artist I have the kind of expertise but my niche which I worked out along the way was the relationships dating and like the really honest

advice so I think if you focus on your own unique angle you don't have to find a topic nobody's talking about that's probably impossible but what's your views what's your passion and that should help with like your success point number two don't see other bloggers as competitors see them as inspiration. So there are many, many, many, many established bloggers and influencers and Instagrammers, okay? But that doesn't mean that you can't also try it. So I think, like, can you imagine if Adele never tried to sing because Mariah Carey already existed? Or Taylor Swift never put up a record because Katy Perry was already there? Or, you know, Mariah Carey didn't ever want to sing whenever she was near Whitney Houston or like if you look at all these

people like everyone has a unique sound and like Ed Sheeran and Lewis Capaldi example like you could go Lewis like oh no there's already an Ed Sheeran out there but I love them both and they're both successful and it doesn't have to always be a competition even if it's a very similar style like those two so see these people not as oh I might as well not bother you know like oh I'm never going to get as good as that feed I'm never going to take photos like that don't do that see it's inspiration like okay what can I do how can I make myself different what reflects me and I think as long as you're like proud of yourself and your own content you shouldn't see other people's competition anyway right competition actually helps push you to make

yourself better so it's kind of yeah it's a pretty good thing if we didn't have any competition we didn't have anything else to look at, we would kind of probably get quite lazy, especially in the content creation world. So always try and see everyone else as like a pick-me-up to your own creative push. Point number three, do trust your own creativity. So when I started out, I mean, one, I was old as fuck. And two, I had no idea what I was doing in that I could write and I'd worked for a magazine before, but I'd never ran the website. I just uploaded the content as an intern for the magazine in London. So at this stage, I didn't know really what blogger.com was, what WordPress was, you know, like it was all pretty alien to me. So all I knew at the time

was I can write. You know, I've done an English literature degree. I know I can write. So what I would do is I just trust in the process of myself that my articles were funny they were honest and they were worth a read so but like even that I couldn't really trust that other people were going to find it funny you know like I might be like oh this is hilarious or god I love when I read this back I'm really proud of it and then other people might be like you're shit but that's where the trust comes in you have to trust your own creativity even if 25 billion people were like you're really shit you've got to hold on for the fact that you know you're not and the time will come and you know when I first set it up of course within the first six months eight months nine

months I wasn't really getting anywhere and it's very easy to go like I'm gonna give up but I loved doing it so much and I genuinely really believed in myself that actually within the year I did have an agency helping me run the blog and obviously as I've mentioned I've done Cosmo, Glamour, Daily Mail, I've also been on Radio 1 doing a live set which was the crazy times but yeah like for me I think when I think back I go I literally achieved this in my bedroom, I took a good laptop out, I've created a random blog and then I've got to here so I feel like just trust in yourself. I can't labor that point enough because it's really important to me. Point number four, do ask for help. So like logo design, got no idea. Templates, can't design them for shit.

Get help. My template on the blog, I quickly learned to pay someone to use one of their templates. And then if I'm like, oh, I don't know how to slip this and just email them to help. I also have a graphics designer who's done my two logos for me, two different people. I've now just got a new person to do my new podcast logo. Like, don't assume you have to do everything on your own because it's pretty overwhelming otherwise. So if you have your idea, you're like, right, I know I've got the idea. Okay, Google WordPress templates. Okay, let me have a look there.

If you're setting up an e-commerce site and you want to use Shopify, okay, Google best Shopify templates and have a look at what they have. And these templates, albeit Blogger, WordPress, Shopify, they're all pretty cheap in terms of the value that you're getting for buying them, okay? Because at one time, I actually paid a designer to design the whole website for me for scratch. It cost me a lot of money. and in hindsight I could have just bought a fucking template and no one would have known so that's what I did you live and learn number five do write slash post on your Instagram what you're passionate about so if you don't really give a shit about mugs or ants or flowers or beaches or you don't give a shit about the latest crazy like bubble tea don't post about it

readers can tell when someone genuinely is passionate about what they're writing about and don't I don't feel any pressure to post photos on your Instagram to be like another influencer to post the stuff that they're posting because then it just gets lost in a sea of the same shit, different account. And I can't fucking bear that. And it goes for filters. Don't use a filter. Oh, her photos look nice. Okay, what is a filter? And I'll copy it. Find your own passion and your own footprint. Number six, if you can't write, make it one hell of a picture instead. so for me as a qualified writer my articles are pretty lengthy and almost like mini stories probably a bit too long if i'm honest but not all bloggers or influencers or instagrammers come

right and i totally appreciate that and i actually used to at the beginning get quite irate that you know like why are you why are you blogging if you don't if you can't even write you actually can't spell and then I kind of it still irks me a little bit but I kind of grew up to thinking okay whatever that if you can't write that doesn't reflect on the strength of my blog and actually some photos that people take I'm like awe inspired and I don't know how the fuck you've done that or the outfit they've put together is like insane style I'm just like wow I wouldn't even know where to begin all these makeup looks that they do like insane so I've started to have appreciation for other people's creative outlets so okay you want to

have a blog to back up your content or you want to write you know decent captions on your Instagram but you can't write just to put all the strength in your imagery and then it kind of should overshadow the writing number seven do get social media savvy unfortunately if you do have a website you do want to set up a website or you have a brand social media you're gonna have to get on board that doesn't mean you have to get a fucking tiktok account okay i'm so not going to ever do some stupid dance on TikTok. And like, whatever, if you have a TikTok account, like my bestie Chantel, I don't hate you in that. I just don't expect my green old as fuck white ass on there because it ain't happening. However, TikTok is actually one of the best tools and social media

movements to earn. Like, it's insane. I mean, before I remember when Instagram become like this massive earner and youtube obviously like what they earn is ridiculous but tiktok is now i'm pretty sure well up there it's not just a you know a fooling around having a dance with your dog in the living room it's like for people that are fucking serious so kudos to those who've now the tiktokers it's a whole scary world to me but make sure as your brand you have a social media platform even if you only stick to one which i would advise you not to do because as most of my followers know, my Instagram account got hacked end of last year, November, December. Yeah, the whole page disappeared. I was fucking traumatized. I got up to 20,000 followers. It's 10 years, a decade of

content. Gone. And that was a real wake up call to me. So I was like, thank fuck, I already have sex in singapore city and sex in london city and at the time i'd also started my podcast because if you put all of your content into one channel and something happens like instagram is just an app tiktok tiktok is just an app so if something crashes or someone hacks your account like they did mine you're fucked so it's laborious but it kind of needs to be done get yourself across as many platforms as you can keep your branding consistent get your content planning consistent What am I going to post today? What am I going to link to today? Do I post every day? Do I post it three times a week? And then start delivering a message that represents what you're trying to

say and who you are. Number eight, do network your cute butt off. I can't even tell you how many press events I've gone to. Like, if we're looking at the past decade, oh my god so many twice a week pretty much every week every couple of weeks if thousands and thousands and and when I first started out I went to the opening of a fucking envelope I worked all day as a full-time job and any kind of any press event I was there it exhausted me it made me pretty ill I'm not gonna lie it wasn't all fun I was generally like running on coffee and fatigue most press events there's a lot of alcohol as well so I was running on alcohol which meant I probably forgot most of the press event

but yeah network network in a way it doesn't have to be press events if you're like okay I don't even know how to get invited, which is a very good point, then network online. Find your little niche. Okay, who's going to follow me? Who's doing the same thing? Who's doing the same thing but better? Who's doing something similar? Let me have a look at what they're up to. Maybe you can connect. Maybe you can collaborate. You know, if we're not seeing everyone as competitors, we're actually seeing everyone as like fellow success stories and people that can inspire. Collaborations are amazing. As you've probably all listened, I had the awesome Hanley Hofer on my podcast. She's also a female podcaster in Singapore. But we kind of have like such the same vibe and mindset. It is

ridiculous. So if I had originally seen her as competition, then yeah, that would never have happened. So I think you don't have to just network in real life. I actually met Hanley online when I was talking about one of my TV shows I did, Iso Day. So you just have to make sure if you're going into this world that you do have the social skills. And if you don't, they are teachable. You can learn to be able to approach people, to network, to make connections and make genuine connections.

So many people, especially in London, that I used to knock about with, people that would be at press events, you can tell that they were fake from the get-go and I just couldn't be interested in them. But if you've got a genuine person there who is genuinely interested and real and honest, it stands out. Number nine, don't expect overnight success. OK, so many people would say to me, how do I get your job? I want free stuff. I should start a blog so I can get free stuff.

I want to go away like you did. Like, I don't know, eBay UK sent me to Paris for one weekend. I won a fashion shoot competition and they sent me for an all expenses paid trip to eBay. And that is just one example. I got sent to Galgorum Spa in Ireland, which is amazing. But all these little trips and all of these perks that I would receive would spark people to message me. How do I get that? I want free stuff.

OK. Whilst I get it, I also have to point out I didn't decide to create a blog one day. And then Sunday the next week, you know, I'm sitting in London Fashion Week front row. That just doesn't happen like that. It takes time, energy and a lot of hard work. And I've been previously described, I think the guy was trying to chat me up. I've been described as a swan where all you see on the top is this beautiful white swan just gliding along. but you don't see the dark legs underneath paddling super fast to keep the swing moving

forwards. And what an odd chat up line. But it stuck with me because it's a great analogy. And I was like, oh, yeah, that's a really lovely thing to notice, actually, that that is kind of how it feels. So everyone's like, well, I want the success. I want the surface bit. But no one wants to put in the effort. Right. So just be prepared to not get overnight success, but keep going anyway. I've cut number 10, do make blogger friends. I have covered this point, I guess, before. But actually, I've really surged forward with making friends in the community and realized actually how much better it is to have people in the same field as you,

the same interests, because it helps you go, OK, I'm going to realign myself with like, wow, this is what you do. And you can swap ideas and start getting like, it's just it's a good support system to have. to make friends, real friends within the same field that you're going into. Number 11, do treat your blog like a brand. That goes also for all your social media channels. Your Instagram account is your brand. Think about the design, the layout. Ensure the design is uniform and consistent across all social platforms. Create business cards, create e-flyers, create an EDM system, follow the right people on social media. Tweet if you use Twitter. I know it's not a big thing over here. Tweet

relevant images. Visualize your brand as a whole and work towards that goal so that every time someone sees that logo, someone sees an image of you on Instagram, they'll know what to expect. They know what your message is. My message is I think I have green hair and I say what I fucking want and people know that it's not filtered oh is that a good message I don't know number 12 do work for free at the beginning it's crap but it's life I worked my ass off for free and I kind of still do as well because I can never say no to something that sounds really fun or it's a really cool job and I also struggle to put a value on my head so I'm like oh no I'll do that I'll do that for free I'll do that for free because I can't say yeah I'm worth this

money because for me writing is so natural I don't see it as a talent because I just can do it and then sometimes I write for people and they're like oh my god that is insane like my girlfriend's just set up a new website she's actually launching her own swimwear and I helped her write all the content and it was just it came it's like easy and she's just oh my god it's amazing so I don't I can't put a price on my head that being said don't let anyone take the piss out of you lots of people did me work but be prepared to work free at the beginning until you've established yourself as a successful branding name that you can then command payment for albeit branded content or sponsored content if you're wondering the difference I get asked that a lot as well

sponsored content is when they pay you to create it. So I'll write the blog. I'll write, I'll design the images. I'll write the title. I'll write everything. I just get given a hyperlink. Okay, well, you want to link to this brand or here's the new product we're trying to sell. Here's some photos. Go and do what you will. That obviously costs more than branded content. Branded content is when they send it all to me. Okay, how much would it cost you to post this? We want you to post this image and post this caption how much so it's less work my end so it's a cheaper rate on that note number 13 do understand that content is your queen content will be one that drives hits drives traffic increases google ranking and spreads your brand name so social media networking

and connections all help which is what i've previously spoke about but content is what is needed so if your content is shit like don't bother don't wrap up something you know like you've really got to put the graft in to make content the best it can be i mean like if you can't be asked to do that the basics then yeah you shouldn't jump on this bandwagon take time to create content that people want to engage in and the kind of the rest will follow content is your queen. Number 14, don't feed off negative comments on the internet. I get negative comments, not often, but yeah, quite often. Get thick skin. If you don't have a thick skin, get one ASAP. Even if you've just got an Instagram

account and you want to just become an Instagram influencer, get a thick skin. Don't read the comments. It's all I can say. Number 15. Accept you'll always have new stuff to learn. So you don't know what camera to buy? Google it. You don't know what hashtags to use? Google it. Need SEO help? Search engine optimization? Attend a course. Don't know how to use Photoshop? Download it. Watch an online tutorial. Everything out there is available for you. You just need to take time to research to learn and then to master whatever is needed to push your brand obviously photoshop costs money a new camera costs money you don't have to have all of these things but they help but there are also online softwares that are free or there's canva.com there's picmonkey.com

you can download photoshop but not have any you know you don't have to go to a paid course you just watch the adobe video tutorials that are all free to access so there are certain ways you can really get around this especially if you don't have the spare cash to still get the same results number 16 very important do have me time that has nothing to do with your blog so when I'm not blogging and I just need time out I go to the pool I paint a canvas I go and play netball I go for long walks I mean like I need time away from my blog it helps keep me balanced from all the social media and the emails and the events. And it helps make it not feel like a burden. Because when you don't have time out, and it's all you think about, and I get it because I

was supercharged the whole time, like blog, content, blog, content, writing photos, writing Instagram, just on, on, on, you will burn out. Because I did. So it's first-hand advice. Don't don't get there number 17 on that note do be prepared to work until you're half dead I say this with tongue-in-cheek of course but I did work myself into exhaustion in 2014 and um it's not it wasn't a good time that being said hard work I really I wouldn't go and change it I don't think because hard work got me to where I am now it even got me into Singapore like literally where I'm sitting right now I really worked hard on my own brand so I can't whilst I can't change it I feel like you do have to be prepared to work your ass off to get a job

that pays the bills to find the spare time you know everyone else is relaxing having a brunch or having a coffee weekend or whatever walking the dog playing by the beach you know you kind of should be dedicated to your work I think it's best to maybe give yourself like I don't know a time limit, five hours a week. Five hours a week if that's all you can spare on my brand and then another five hours doing something else completely different to switch my mind off. Give yourself a schedule and a boundary and then stick to it. Number 18, do accept that people won't like you. We literally cannot please everyone. Crowd pleasers are not true to who they are I'm going to say that one more time for the people at the back crowd pleasers are not true

to who they are you can't please everyone I mean like take my blog I'm sure there's plenty of people who think it's too colorful too honest too vulgar like people think I'm a slut there was a whole like this was many years ago but i did a an article for the daily mail and the term sex blogger got picked up internationally and got changed to sex worker or porn star which i'm not but that then sparked a whole load of comments and messages about me being a porn star to my instagram i'm like what and then i had to work out where all this media had come from yeah people don't like you people won't like you not everyone will like you just accept it and be okay but the people that will they're the ones that i'm playing for that's the crowd i'm after

so no fucks given number 19 do be prepared to change sales and swerve down a new course like i said earlier my blog wasn't originally called sex in london city also i didn't know i was going to ever have sex in Singapore City. I was supposed to still be in London right now, pushing my sex in London City brand to like the nth degree. I was going to set up my own dating agency. I was going to launch my novel there. And lo and behold, 2016, I get a job and now I'm living in Singapore. So you kind of have to be malleable and a bit lenient with yourself and your ideas and your strategy to go with what life throws at you to think okay how can I make this work for me okay that's not working or had a good idea but actually that was a year ago and now I

feel very different and now I've seen things differently it's okay be prepared to go on a new course it doesn't mean you're giving up it just means you're changing your direction and it's probably for the better it certainly was in my case and finally number 20 sorry if this has been a bit long guys but it's a good one number 20 have fun you gotta love what you do and you gotta do what you love and the only reason I believe I've managed to make it this far is that I love what I do because even hard work even if you work your ass off till you're half dead if you don't love it you won't get anywhere and if you get somewhere you'll just go what's this all for I hate it always find the fun in everything you do if you don't want to post that

fucking photo don't post it don't feel compelled to conform to you know social media rules if you're really, really not feeling it, don't worry about it. Do everything that makes you smile on the inside that reflects who you are as a person and that you're proud to post. And if you do that, and all of the above, I genuinely believe you will be successful in whatever venture you are going down. And that's it from me. Thanks for listening. Any more questions on this topic, because it is minefield hence why this has been quite a long episode do message me on instagram at nixalina n-i-x-a-l-i-n-a any questions and i will try my best to help i'll send you in the right direction if i can't thank you thanks for listening to the sex in singapore city podcast this episode was

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