Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - It's Time to Say Goodbye. With All My Love, Nixalina.

Episode Date: April 6, 2026

This podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships, sex, and love. It may not be suitable for younger listeners. This is the Can't Keep My Mouth Shut podcast, and I am Nick Salina. Hi, it's Nick Salina, and welcome back to Can't Keep My Mouth Shut. this is I'm gonna cry my whole way through the final episode okay today's my final episode of the podcast and you're gonna have to suffer listening to me sob through it you are welcome everyone okay so if you were on my socials earlier this year you will know that I went through something

and it kind of it was a big life slap in my face and I never thought it would be but it was on what I really want in my life and where I see myself in a year's time and what my values now are and all that jazz. So if you've been wondering why I haven't recorded an episode since February, that's why. If you were on my Insta, you'll know what I'm talking about. If you're not on my Insta, what are you doing? Get yourself on there. at Nixlina, N-I-X-A-L-I-N-A. And I started re-evaluating, yeah, what I want. And this podcast has been such a huge part of my life. I mean, 10 seasons and six years, that's every Monday, 52 episodes a year, give or take a few creative breaks I had, like that's

hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of episodes and I have loved every minute but right now what I need for myself is a new direction so the topics that I've cared about before, sex, dating, relationships, and love, and having a public version of myself isn't doing me any good anymore. And I'm not saying it was wrong or anything, and this podcast hasn't failed, not by any stretch of the imagination. It's more that I am ready for the next chapter, which is actually a really positive thing you know what is it mary quandu the woman who's like only keep sparks you joy right i'm decluttering not just my home my goddamn life and it's a very uncomfortable thing to have to admit to yourself that something that you have

created yourself that has become such an integral part of your identity for so long now doesn't serve you in the way it did and I feel like there is a pressure that we'll put on ourselves if with something we've created or a job or a company we've joined or a relationship that we're in to keep it going to not give up to stay consistent even if deep down it's actually not making us happy anymore so it's not really about me I guess I'm not there's no regret here I'm not sad I'm very sad about closing my podcast and I'm not sad I didn't I've had the best best six years but it's more about me acknowledging who I am now. I moved to Singapore when I was 29. I turned 39 in three weeks. I moved as a very

different woman. And I've grown and my perspective has shifted and my priorities have shifted. What I want to talk about, how I want to show up has shifted. And I think sometimes we all hold on to things that because they once felt right even when they don't feel right anymore and part of that growth is recognizing when something has served its purpose and I've made that recognition today oh okay this is so hard so first of all i would like to thank ken from splice car studios here in singapore so ken recognized my potential even when i didn't see it myself nor did i listen to a single podcast

i was a writer i'm a writer i'm a journalist i'm a writer and ken found sex in singapore city website, emailed me out the blue, was like, hey, have you ever considered doing a podcast? Why don't you come down to the studio? We'll see how we go. If you don't like it, no biggie. That was six years fucking ago. And only did I like it. I loved it. And I was really fucking good at it. Next minute, I'm in the top 20, top 20 Spotify chart. I'm in Vogue. I'm in Tatler. I've been on cna I am in the Louis Vuitton city guide the Louis fucking Vuitton city guide to Singapore as their top podcast to listen to that's mind-blowing I've had so many amazing accolades come my way and experiences from this journey and I cannot thank Ken enough for not

only seen the creative talent in me but putting up with listening to my shit for six years this poor man I bet he must put earplugs in when I come into the studio um I just I'm so thankful and yeah he cuts and edits my stuff um every week just shining stars so if you ever think you want to launch your own podcast or become a voiceover artist or whatever it is please please please contact splice cast studios in singapore you will not regret it and then secondly i want to thank you all for loving this journey with me for tuning in to Sex and Singapore City for continuing into Can't Keep My Mouth Shut for messaging me all your thoughts and feelings

about my weekly episodes and topics I discussed and joining in the conversation with me um honestly it's not it's it was never just about me coming on the microphone it's more about the connection I had with you guys it was about the conversations it sparked it was the shared experiences it was people messaging me saying that I've made them feel seen and I'll never forget the therapist counsellor emailing me saying that one of their clients I still don't know who it is all the counsellors themselves they emailed me and said one of their clients came for therapy because they listened to my podcast episode about generalised anxiety disorder and they sought help after listening and the therapist told this person that they should

contact me to thank me but they wanted to stay anonymous so they asked the counsellor to do it that was just the biggest oh like it made everything worthwhile there's no amount of money you could throw at me that would rival that feeling of knowing someone went and got help I'm gonna cry again because of me so yeah like someone was in need listened to my episode and went and got themselves help I'm so it just touches me so yeah I knew I was gonna cry for this episode I'm so sorry and if you're wondering okay well if I'm so sad why am I doing this why am I finishing it it really does come down to a shift in perspective

of what I want and what sparks me joy like I said I am not the same woman that started I'm not the same woman that landed on Singapore shores and thank god right this is a good thing I know I'm I'm crying I promise you it's positive we'll get to that in a minute but I'm not her and thank fucking god because that was 10 years ago me I should be different I should have different values like that that is growth not staying the same never progressing that is not what I believe life is about and the reason the other reason why this is a positive and I know this sounds like impossible because I'm saying it through tears is that I as a creative I struggle with all these creative ideas and things that I want to do

and time right so for instance my book you're like are you what you still fucking going on about lolly yes so my book now has my sole attention right and so it is so it fucking should so it fucking should but every time I'm not doing the book I feel guilt right so I love to paint painting is my painting canvas is like my one of my gorgeous outlets but I get so absorbed when I'm painting canvas that I lose six seven hours a day I was gonna say waste it but it's not a waste because art is beautiful but there's always something in the back of my head going we should be writing the book and then if I'm not writing the book there's something like we should be doing your work this is how my brain is I'm not saying it's a good thing at all but I have a lot

of plates that I'm spinning right now that I feel like one of that I've all bound to fall and break or I drop the ones I can't carry on with and unfortunately the podcast falls into that that that that plate um and it's just a shift in a shift in identity of who I am and who I want to see myself as moving forward. It's heartbreaking but it's the right decision and I really hope that you guys actually listen to this and I give you some strength to let go of something that you thought was your identity and served you but deep down it actually doesn't anymore and this can be anything it can be jobs friendships relationships work projects anything that you're like I don't know why but I'm just a little bit unhappy but it's

constantly like that you know for me I take a lot of creative breaks when I want to but I realized I was taking way more creative breaks like I was finding more pleasure out of not doing it than I was doing it so I'm like so then why am I still doing it do you know what I mean if it was pay me a million pounds every episode man I'd keep fucking doing it I'd wipe those tears and I'll keep going but uh alas it doesn't it has always been a passion project and it has brought so much into my life but now for me my passions lie elsewhere so before I end this just through tears I'm going to try and keep the positivity going and just say it's not me disappearing I would tell you that I might I have another podcast idea

right it's been floating in the wings of my brain for a year now but I'm not going to talk about it because I don't know if I'm going to have the bandwidth to do it but if I do do it it's going to be fucking amazing obviously it's going to be amazing it's out of my head so there's potentially another podcast maybe we shall see but there is also a book that is definitely coming and there's yes I just that this isn't me disappearing this isn't me shutting down everything this is just me closing a specific chapter because I think sometimes you have to create space before you know what's coming next and that is where I am right now i'm generally so grateful for everyone who's listened supported shared and messaged because

it's you guys that have made this what it is you guys put me in all of the press in the top two charts and you did that and if anything i've said like just not that one example but anything i've said has ever helped you or made you think differently or made you feel less alone then it just it means everything to me that means everything to me oh god okay so I'm gonna sign off now this is a very difficult episode to record but it's one that was at some point bound to come and I love you all so much I'm gonna cry into my coffee in a minute I swear to god I love you all so much and thank you for being on this journey with me and I hope you can appreciate how hard this decision has been and it's not been made lightly

let me tell you that this isn't a spare the moment thing this has been a long time coming and I've put it off for so long because I love this so much but i have to go with my gut and my gut says i'm gonna be entering a next phase of my life very shortly and so i want to i want to say goodbye still with just just absolute abundance of happiness and just such great memories okay I need to go um I could ramble on forever as you know because you know I love to yap I love you all thank you so much for being part of can't keep my mouth shut and sex in Singapore city journey and I hope that you listen to your favorite episodes when you feel the need to have a little bit mixalina I hope I've helped you guys and or

just brought entertainment into your world made you laugh on your run made you have a giggle when you're at the gym um and yeah please stay in touch i will always be on instagram well i say that now give me a year um it's at nix lena n-i-x-a-r-i-n-a and thank you and with that i say goodbye thanks for listening to the can't keep my mouth shut podcast produced and hosted by me nick selena i'm recorded in the splice car studios in singapore i'm available to listen to on spotify apple podcasts google and all major podcast listening apps do subscribe to enjoy a new episode every Monday evening. Please do give me a five-star review. It helps other people also find

my podcast. For more content and features to read, you can check out my website, nixalina.com. That's nixalina.com. I'm also on social media. Simply search at Nixalina, N-I-X-A-L-I-N-A to find me. Don't be shy. Come say hi. you