Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - Let's Get Vocal About Oral

Episode Date: April 1, 2025

​For more awesome content to read including beauty, fashion or dating & love features, please do head over to my digital platform www.nixalina.com. Don't be shy, come say hai! Head over to my Instagram or Tiktok @nixalina to slide into my DMs.

Hi, it's Nixalina. Welcome back to another episode of me. How you're doing? Happy Monday. This week, I've gone back in time and found one of the best, most popular, most listened to episodes for you to all enjoy, new and old listeners alike. I hope you like it and I'll see you all next week. this podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships sex and love it may not be suitable for younger listeners this is the can't keep my mouth shut podcast and i am nixalina hey it's nixalina i'm back with another sexy episode of my podcast and um yeah last time i

promised I was going to venture down the oral sex avenue. So here I fucking am doing it. This episode is called Let's Get Vocal About Oral. Do you see what I did there? Oral, vocal. I was thinking verbal. Should we get verbal about oral? Verbally vocal about oral? I just thought calm down and let's just talk about it. So oral sex. How do you feel about that? That's it. It's the end. I'm kidding. So oral sex is one of those subjective things in the bedroom, a bit like foreplay, in that some people love it, some people hate it, some people love receiving it, and some people love giving it. And I want to say before I continue, and it's something I'm very, very clear about, if you do or don't like certain aspects of oral sex that doesn't make you

weird or not human that makes you perfectly normal. I've heard cases of guys who do not like going down on girls, right? You're super normal. I've heard cases of girls who absolutely won't give blowjobs. You're also super normal. I've also heard cases of guys who love to lick bumhole. You're also super normal, but I hope you don't kiss your mother with that mouth. That's all I'm saying. Have some Listerine mouthwash. This is not sponsored by Listerine. that is another oral health care product though I think we should I'm trying to work out how I do this deep throat I'm kidding right let's split it up let's split it up into him and her so I'll do the him first and giving and receiving and vice versa so when it comes to blow jobs right guys

firstly I want to make it very clear here if she doesn't like giving you head don't fucking force her to do it making your partner or your one night stand or the girl you're seeing for a bit stick her mouth around your fucking turgid member when she absolutely has made it clear she's not interested it's just a really low fucking blow put your fucking average side penis back in your pants and walk away my friend okay men i'm not going into details because i probably shouldn't But there was one guy, just before I met my partner, thank God I met my partner, he was a from start to finish. And I don't know what I was thinking. But he basically face fucked me in ways I never thought possible. I actually thought I was going to pass out. I felt sick.

I felt heady. And it wasn't nice. It wasn't a nice blowjob. It was I'm going to face fuck her and then I'm gonna leave and it's like I don't know what it was really weird it's like he didn't know I had a head or a skull it was awful it was absolutely awful and all it did was make me fucking hate him and he did not turn me on in the slightest and I don't know why guys do that or think that's like sexy or being like oh please carry on I mean there I'm sure there's some girls out there that must have enjoyed that and I'm into asphyxiation but I honestly thought I was going to pass out it's disgusting anyway there you go if girls don't like it don't force them but if she does then hey we're onto the good stuff so I feel like with giving a good blow job

one kind of let her go at her own place right guys if you put your hand on her head and trying to like push her up and down I it's nice to have that connection if you're doing it in a loving way but you feel like just trying to make her go really fast is actually um destroys the confidence a little bit because you feel like oh I'm not actually sucking as as quick as I'd wish I could see my my producer's face right now I'm behind a screen but I'm sure you've missed me ain't you you've missed me yeah when she's going up and down and you're pushing her head to go faster it feels like oh my god I'm not doing a good job that's how it feels or like oh um he he's not satisfied with what I'm doing so I think you should always make sure that the person who's giving it

should be confident in what they're doing um but on the same score guys you seem to not want to be very vocal from my experience when you get head it's like you're so lucky you're getting head you don't really want to talk or do anything else or just sit and enjoy it which is great but if it's not hitting the mark I'd rather know about it because my jaw is probably going to be exhausted and my tongue's all over the place and I'm just like oh god is he close yet is he close and maybe I'm I'm really nowhere near close and you just don't want to tell me because you're being too polite I think let's be vocal let's start saying like oh you know can you do that a little bit faster or don't stop what you're doing or um less teeth

you know sometimes the teeth just get involved you can't help it you know or like can you move your hand a little faster because obviously with a good blow job you can also do a hand job at the same time like it's not that helps as well give your mouth a break i should basically just give blowjob lessons right i am so good i'm just gonna sip my beer in victory at how awesome i am at giving head i will say if dad's listening i'm sorry um i failed you as a daughter not sorry so be vocal make sure you think okay i want i want to have the best blowjob so i'm gonna let her know what i like because we don't know what you like we have a penis and a couple the balls in front of us some of you might like the balls being licked some of you might like the

shaft being stroked some of you might like a tight mouth grip some of you prefer a tongue action so just be vocal be a really nice way and if she isn't going fast enough don't silently just shove her head up and down just like you can say like oh faster baby whatever and then lightly grab her hair or if she likes her hair being pulled already you know that then of course you know crack on but just be a little bit more I guess mindful that she is trying to please you and maybe she doesn't know what she's doing for the girls that don't know what you're doing and giving a blowjob scares the crap out of you yeah I know let's be honest it ain't fun is it it's not like you don't sit there and go oh god I would just love to give a blowy right now oh it's all I want I just want

to give a blowy like fuck Netflix you don't do that do you because you kind of it's not really doing anything correct me if I'm wrong if there's any girls out there like I fucking love it next please let me know I do it and I do it often but I do it because I know it's for him I am giving him pleasure I'm not giving me pleasure in that moment I don't hate it but yeah like could I take or leave it uh-huh so when you give him head if he's being quiet especially I always think try and make sure think I'm giving him pleasure I'm not just going through the motions like oh I know you just bob your head up and down that's what I'll do until he decides let's have sex think I want to give him pleasure I want to make him really love this right so maybe ask him like

you know do you like it when I run my tongue around the edge or you know do you like when when I lick your balls or when I fumble them or something just get an idea of what like what he would like and make sure that when you bother doing it if you bother at all because it's okay if you don't if you do that he's getting pleasure I don't think sometimes it's really easy to forget that when we just like go through the motions like okay I'll give him head that'll make him hard then we have sex actually I feel like no it should be a really important thing and the reason I have this idea about giving blowjobs is because I'm so very selfish with my oral sex which I'll come to in the her section because I'm still on the him section

um because I'm so very selfish about it and I love it so much and I think actually guys are you are allowed to love blowjobs right it's part and parcel of the anatomy and as a couple there's nothing dirty about it there's no shame in this I don't want this shame attached to sex because sex is such a healthy thing I mean being face fucked was not oh my god it's dramatic it's fucking awful but normally yeah it's really healthy and the last four years with my partner um god it's been the best sex of my life and I love pleasing him now and I've kind of got to terms with the idea of of oral sex and foreplay and that is a isn't just going through the concept of it is actually what do you want what do you need what makes you happy

and I love knowing I make him happy I was about to say something then and he would fucking kill me if he tuned in so I'm not gonna say it but I know you're listening and you know what I was about to say about blowjobs right I'm not saying it that's very private it almost wasn't private um and also with a guy if if she's not doing a good job I think it's really important that you either um very vocal about it or if you feel you can't which is totally okay I get like it's an awkward thing then maybe just move on to sex or move on switch up and move on to her and then move back to you like don't feel like oh god she's gone down on me I'm stuck here for like 20 minutes until she gives up you know like that's not what it should be about it should be about a whole

experience I also want guys to consider the fact that perhaps your dick might be quite large and it might really hurt her throat right we're not all porn stars okay deep throw-ins not a thing we can all do so take that into consideration if you're quite large that she's doing what she can don't, you know, I get it. There's this sexy element of having a girl gag on your dick because your dick's so big. Oh, I'm so manly. She gags. I get all that masculine bullshit, right? But actually, I'm gagging. It makes me want to vomit. It's not nice. Okay? So let's try and make this as pleasurable for you and for me. So then I want to keep doing more of them. Because the happier I am the more confident I feel the more I know I'm actually giving you a good time rather than you

just sitting there silently the more easier it is for me to actually suck your dick rather than your hand on the back of my head or you forcing me around or face on me all that the more you will get more blow jobs okay so all I'm trying to do is create a more healthier sexual appetite between you where you get more of what you want so moving on to her I feel like I've covered dudes if there's anything that I've not covered I'll either remember and come back to it or you guys can message me and be like bitch please you're not a guy you don't know this this and this and which I would please enlighten me moving on to her so oral sex for the girl I've had a few I need another sip of my beer for this one

I've had a few girlfriends tell me um some of their relationships haven't haven't had any oral sex uh the guy doesn't like doing it and that is normal of course like it's there's no judgment there but for me who adores it I'm like I think that would be a deal breaker I couldn't be with someone I just couldn't be with someone that didn't do that I absolutely love it and I love it when a guy loves it and you know this is what I think and this is why I wanted to do a whole episode dedicated to oral sex because it for me is very different to sex I love having sex but I also the oral sex part is so many different feelings um and it's very intimate I know sex is intimate but for me it's very very intimate and it's almost more intimate in my eyes than

penitent sex and I could not be with a guy that doesn't like doing it because that's my preference right and and I feel like if you're a guy and you don't like doing it on the girl but you expect blow jobs that is such double fucking standards okay you you have to kind of give to receive her a little if you like getting blow jobs and you find it pleasurable she will also find all sex pleasurable right so just get the fuck on and man up on that note if she doesn't find all sex pleasurable right and you still want to do it and you're kind of forcing her because you really like it and she doesn't like it that's also another issue like you're gonna have to accept that it makes her really uncomfortable because lots of girls are like oh I just you know it's very it's

almost too intimate I can't handle it if you really want to do that to her and she doesn't want it I think that's something you're gonna have to actually speak about because that is a problem as well a problem that can be resolved it doesn't mean like oh my god deal breaker it just means you're gonna have to like talk about that and if it's a no then it's a no and accept it you know it is what it is you love that person right so anyway so when a guy goes down on a girl it's a few things I think we should bear in mind here one is I always try and say whether I'm enjoying it or not because it's the same for the other sex because guys also don't know what they're doing it's a fucking minefield down there and a forest oh why did I have to go there oh

sorry sorry people it's a fucking jungle after covid right so guys don't know what they're doing so they need as much guidance as we need so you know try and say like oh i'm not i'm kind of not feeling it or or move to the right or slightly move to the left or it doesn't have to like kill the moment just doing the flow like oh just oh go back to where you were is a nice one as in you know you've kind of killed my buzz right now but if you go back there I'll bring it back again or don't stop or faster you know like the same same thing just I feel like don't assume a guy has like read a billion anatomy books and knows exactly what he's doing he doesn't he's probably figuring his way through it as well and he will get more turned on knowing you're really

turned on so don't be afraid to ask for what you want because that's ultimately what he's doing he's giving you all sex because maybe he likes it but also because he wants you to have pleasure so if I can have pleasure take it make sure you get something out of it just don't go through the motions time wise I always I always worry about a poor guy's jaw breaking off when he's like down there for ages and I'm like oh god and I don't want him to stop because I'm having a great time but then my conscious thinks oh my god he's been there ages oh I wonder how his jaw feels I wonder how he's oh I bet he's getting bored is he getting bored I wonder if he's thinking about dinner well these things go through my head so when it comes to time don't do what I do and worry about

it because then it kind of kills the mood I think we should always make sure we're both enjoying it and if just say to him like if at any point it gets too much just come up for air come and give me a kiss or don't kiss them lips oh stop um yeah like I feel like we should talk about it beforehand just don't I don't want you down there for like hours and hours if you're not having fun or your face hurts you know that's not what I want either but also we can switch it up right so with us we can either sit on them or we can lie down and then they're going so it might be a lot easier for him if then if it's getting too long and you don't want it to get to switch positions and then you sit on top of him for example I'm just trying to think of all the scenarios here I'm going through

in my in my head that might need to have uh guidance for because it's also quite a tricky subject to talk about without being smutty or disgusting and also revealing all of my intimate secrets and offending people I absolutely don't want that either this is why I'm trying to make it very clear so yeah don't worry about time talk about time say listen if you get your jaw ache or whatever cag on but also if you're close to a climax I think it's very important to say that as well in both situations so the other person can know like you know carry on don't stop or I'm close I'm close that always helps it's very frustrating when you've done like your best work yet right for like 20 minutes 30 minutes and you're like I'm so and then and then you go I can't do this

anymore and you pull away and they go oh I was so close but you didn't fucking say that did you I've just wasted 30 minutes of my best work yeah and all you had to do was say I'm close and you fucking didn't oh yeah yeah that winds me right up so yeah communication I think is key here communication between the two of you accepting what the other person likes and doesn't like I think is important. Wanting to please the other person is really important. Don't just go through the motions because you want to give sex or sex or you want to receive it and like, oh, this is what people do. Take pleasure in the act itself. Make sure the other person receives pleasure in the act itself and make it a comfortable experience as well. If you want it more,

make it a better scenario. Make her enjoy herself giving you a blowjob. You will get more. And always remember, you don't have to come. If she gives you a blowjob or you're worried about him, you know, and, oh, God, I haven't come yet, it's fine. You can come during sex or you don't have to come at all. If you don't come, it doesn't mean you didn't enjoy yourself. You had a great time. It doesn't always have to end in a climax with a scrapple there.

I mean, it usually does, but don't feel disheartened if it doesn't. It doesn't mean you did a bad job. It's like, it just shit happens, you know? Like, okay, well, this time it didn't come. savvy have we got all that I'm I know I'm gonna get a lot of questions about this I know that a lot of you are gonna think that you're gonna tune in to like a tutorial I can't do that on a podcast number one and two you know I'm not a qualified sex therapist in that level so whilst I know how to give a really great blow job I wouldn't ever put myself in that situation where I feel like I

should be teaching you that um if you want me to maybe I can I think we'll give it to the PMs on this one but yeah apologies if that's not the kind of episode you thought it was going to be and you thought it was going to be a lot more nitty-gritty I wanted to talk more about the concept of oral sex and like that's you know how we make it the best for both worlds but uh yeah I hope you enjoyed it and any questions or god i'm gonna regret saying that any questions dm me on instagram at nixalina n-i-x-a-l-i-n-a ciao thanks for listening to the can't keep my mouth shut podcast produced and hosted by me nixalina i'm recorded in the splice cast studios in singapore i'm available to listen to on

Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google, and all major podcast listening apps. Do subscribe to enjoy a new episode every Monday evening. Please do give me a five-star review. It helps other people also find my podcast. For more content and features to read, you can check out my website, nixalina.com. that's nixalina.com i'm also on social media simply search at nixalina n-i-x-a-l-i-m-a to find me don't be shy come say hi