Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - Meaningless Sex??? Could Think of Nothing Worse Bro

Episode Date: November 17, 2025

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Visit odoo.com to book a demo. It's odoo.com. This podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships, sex and love. It may not be suitable for younger listeners. This is the Can't Keep My Mouth Shut podcast and I am Nick Salina. Hello everyone, happy Monday evening. Thank you all for joining me tonight for this very interesting episode of which I have called meaningless sex? Could think of nothing worse, bro. Could think of nothing worse.

I bet you're wondering, like, why you don't want sex anymore? Like, who are you, Nixalina? No, bear with me, because this is a kind of episode I feel is actually very informative. I've really thought about it, but it's also something that I'm going through, and I figured it might help people in the same space as me, as always. You know, there's morals and meanings peppered throughout this whole episode. So basically, I was thinking that there's this common toxic dating narrative, right, that's been, it's not just a recent one, it's been around forever, that I kind of want to address and delve into and showcase the other side, right and that narrative is that if someone is out having sex with multiple partners out every

night picking up men or women on dates every other day two timing people whatsapp's blowing up with men or women just so desperate to spend the night with them but all that means is that person is attractive, sexual, healthy. They're a sought after, prized partner who everyone wants and they're a high value human. Wrong. Let's ring the wrong gong. It actually, in the majority of cases, means the total opposite. So I'm coming at this from the standpoint of someone who's newly single, but this will also apply to those who have been single for a while, for those who just have checked out of, you know, one night stands or dare I say, grown out of them. Because if you have, yeah, same. So the person I just described where they're off, you know, acting like they're living

their best life, surrounded by people who are just so desperate to suck their cock or spread their legs from blah, blah, blah. For me, these people are clearly seeking external validation. They're unable to be alone. They're unable to sit with themselves and find happiness and peace within themselves, which usually means they're highly insecure. They probably have unhealed childhood trauma. They have an unhealthy attachment style in relationships, and thus they will struggle with a healthy, happy, long-term relationship for many years to come. Why am I talking about this? Because I want us to be able to be like, meaningless sex doesn't do it for me anymore, nor does it make me feel like I am a healed whole person

because I got people trying to jump into my bed every other night. Listen, I've been single for two months. If you think for one second that I've just been sparse with no male attention and lamenting on, oh, woe is me. Nay, nay. It's been the complete opposite. Except I've turned it all down. I proudly can say that the last person I had sex with was my partner, or should I say ex-partner, to be factually correct. And I'm so good with that, right? Because I'm not the kind of woman that needs that external validation for me to feel worthy. I couldn't give a flying fuck about having a man in my bed. I mean, you might be like, sis, it sounds like you're still emotionally attached to your ex. I mean, probably. Well, no, of course. It's not an emotional attachment. It's

like a respect for what we had. Like when you are newly single, and I'd say two months is still newly single, of course, you know, the feelings, if you actually genuinely loved that person, that feeling doesn't go away overnight. Does it mean I want him back? No. Does it mean I'm not dating? Fuck no. Does it mean I don't have any other options? No, I have a lot, right? But my point is basically about the sexual validation. And I remain sexually single for quite a while when I have split up with someone, but also like I can be sexually single for quite a while because I don't have to validate myself anymore with other people's physical affection. Just for some more background, I had a five-year relationship that ended.

And one of the things he used to do was be like, you need to tell me when you move on and have sex. It sounds fucking weird. It is a bit weird. But I knew why he was asking that. Bear in mind, he'd already like fucked whatever he could, anything moving, he'd gone there. But he was so desperate to know when I had sexually moved on because he knew me after five years. Of course, he knew me so well that he knew that meant he had actually finally lost me. Because when I sexually give myself to someone, that's because there's an emotional connection there.

and therefore mentally I am nowhere near my ex's sphere anymore. I have connected to this new person. And he was right. I was single and chaste for those six months. And the next man I slept with after him was the man that I then got engaged to. So there was no one in between. I was just and alone. And a bit similar to like I am now. Yes, I went on dates and I would be like, nah. So like I recently went on, I mean, I've been dating. I have been dating. I'm sure people, if they watch my Instagram, when I've had too many drinks, you'll see how I've been dating. And then like my girlfriend's like, that guy is so hot. And I'm like, yeah. And they're like, well, what happened? And I'm like, no, I went home.

well he was lovely he was intelligent he was absolutely stunning I went home I'm just not bothered and I think it's because I yeah I could have easily gone back to it 100% I could have I could be having sex every other day if I wanted with ease but I go right the other way and the reason I do that is because let's circle back to the person I spoke about the beginning the person of the opposite I do that because I'm a healthy self-regulating non-insecure person so when people spend their lives and I'm talking about a newly breakup but let's just expand to single people in general right say someone's been single for two years even If they're swinging between flings and, I don't know, lifelong hookups and moving from relationship to relationship, they're out all the time.

They brag about being out all the time. Perhaps they booze too much. Perhaps they use substances. Like, that is, that, like, need for something so external to build them up basically expresses to me and highlights there is emotional dysregulation inside. I'm not dissing anyone who loves the party scene. You know I love to party, right? I do. Your girl's out, right?

I'm also not dissing one night stands. in my 20s yeah loved it but I know back in my 20s I was using that to give me self-worth so I'll be like fuck me that London model and oh mate these London models oh fucking hell I'm still friends with you I know you guys I still love you I'm still friends with yourself that, oh, you're so hot. But I would validate myself and like these hot, hot, hot models want me, therefore I'm attractive, therefore I'm sexy, therefore I have, you know, self-worth in their attractiveness to me. Now, Nick Selena in her 30s, who did the healing, who's done the therapy, who's worked on the self-esteem, she don't need that anymore. So when I have sex,

it's because I want to connect with the man in front of me and I'm doing it because I'm interested in that human as a person not not just like his hard dick school of spade of spade I'm not like oh I really want to suck a dick tonight nah I have to really emotionally connect to the man attached to that penis which is also like how I don't understand like about transactional sex and men that love sex workers because this is also something that is a narrative you'll see pop up with single people um more so single men is they brag about fucking prostitutes and I don't get it I just feel like my brain can't marry up with that like especially if someone boasts about using hookers as a lifestyle choice

okay everyone goes against maybe you went to Amsterdam red light district had a few too many drinks or maybe in your uni days but when you're like a grown-ass man and it's like yeah oh yeah I love going to these places and I love paying for it and um yeah I love going abroad and paying for it that is such a concerning mindset because it actually showcases the detachment to sex the detachment to women the person behind the vagina and for me it shows just a superficial relationship attachment and and off of that and without going to like deep and psychoanalysis that will be because there is like an inability to be vulnerable they can't regulate their own internal emotions they will be deeply insecure and that's why they choose transactional type

of relationships because there's no emotions they're needed you get your dick sucked you move on you throw some cash at them but I find it bizarre because I'm like ew I like these women how can you validate yourself with women that just want what's in your wallet they don't there's not you is it you're paying them so for me that's the opposite of validation I'd be mortified I'd be like you just want my bank account not me like well yeah obviously so and listen dudes don't get triggered if you slept with a prostitute yeah again I'm talking about someone who does this to excess. I'm talking about a certain person who revels in meaningless sex. Now, I know when it comes to breakups, lots of people do immediately try and rebound and they

do try and hide their emotions in someone else's legs. I get it. But that's also a very immature mindset to have. And I think a lot of single people, long-term single people also feel that they need to try and do that to give them like a certain, I don't want to keep using the word validate. I've said the word validate about a billion fucking times already, but it is, is invalidation. And it's wrong. Meaningless sex is shit. Why does everyone feel like we must all go out and like, yeah, I fucked him, I fucked her, oh yeah, to make you sound cool and good and like, yeah, no. I am so comfortable in myself and who I am that I don't need anyone else's body inside of mine to know that I'm worthy, to know that I'm sexual, to know that

I'm attractive, to know that I'm full of love. I don't need that. And don't get me wrong. Like, in all of my relationships my sex drive is sky high like I'm the one like can we have sex can we have sex can we have sex fuck me please because I'm just so into that person you know I'm into that space with that person like I fucking love him I want to be close to him I want to be intimate with him like I'm just like looking at like I fucking love you but when I'm single don't need it. I really don't need it. And that doesn't make me the problem. But the toxic dating narrative makes it like, oh, bless Nick Selena. The last person she slept with was her ex. Oh, no. It should be, oh, bless all those people that have to go and try and find their

self-confidence and integrity in someone else's genitals, because that is not the healthy way to live. And I guess also this is just an age thing, but yeah, one night stands do not do it for me anymore. And I do remember my 20s one night stand era. Sure, gave me a high, of course. the next morning when they leave and you realize there's no emotional connection they don't text you or you don't text them or then you're like then you almost feel used or what was the point in that listen I get it sometimes it's like I just need a fucking shag I don't care who it is I just need to blow my load I'm a man I want to spread my seed or even women like I'm horny as hell. I'm fed up of using the vibrator. I get it. I get it. And no shame

on those just being like, I'm out tonight to take someone home. But that is not me. And I'm saying this for all those people out there that it's also not them. You're home alone, chilling, watching some TV. You're dating and going, no, actually, I don't like this person. This person's probably not an option for me. And you're leaving it there. You're turning down dates even. You're, yeah, matching with people and going, no, actually, that for me is such a more healthier, respectful, like something to be admired kind of mindset and lifestyle. Will I never have sex again? No. Am I joining a nunnery? No. I just cannot fuck anyone that I don't have feelings for anymore and that's where I'm at

and I don't and I'm just like it's it feels so refreshing to be able to be so happy alone and to be so present for myself I wake up happy I go to bed happy and I don't need to be out every night a week. I don't need to be out till 4am ruining my kidneys and liver. I don't need to be out hunting for someone to bring to my bed to make me feel good. And that's the whole concept of this episode. Meaningless sex? I could think of nothing worse. And if you're in that same stage as me, I am proud of you. I think it showcases what an awesome human you are. If you're in the stage where you're like, fuck you, Nix, I'm everything that you're dissing about, okay, well, you go and live out your narrative and come back to me in a year's time when you

realize it's empty, hollow, and actually you need something more real and present and secure and stable and consistent in your life. Because I guarantee these people that do go out and fuck everything that moves, like, they are filling a hole. And not just the hole, they're painful. They couldn't resist. And on that pun, I am going to leave you all to it. Love to hear your thoughts. What do you think about this? Do you think like, oh, next, you're just still not over the breakup. that's why you're unable to have a meaningless sex? Or are you like, do you know what? I love where your head's at and I want to follow Sue. I've done my shagging around or I mean, like, give me what, give me what you think about this, you know? But I'm just, yeah, I'm very interested

to hear because your girl hasn't had sex for a long time and I am good. And that is the end of this episode. Thank you for tuning in and I look forward to seeing you all next week. Thanks for listening to the Can't Keep My Mouth Shut podcast, produced and hosted by me, Nick Salina. I'm recorded in the Splice Cast Studios in Singapore. I'm available to listen to on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google and all major podcast listening apps. Do subscribe to enjoy a new episode every Monday evening. Please do give me a five-star review. It helps other people also find my podcast. For more content and features to read, you can check out my website, nixalina.com. That's nixalina.com. I'm also on social media. Simply search at Nixalina,

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