Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - Normalise Women Wanting Casual Sex Too

Episode Date: September 19, 2022

Why shouldn't we want casual sex too? Why shouldn't we enjoy sex for the sake of sex too? Why should men assume we immediately want exclusive relationships if we want sex? 

This podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships, sex and love. It may not be suitable for younger listeners. This is the Sex and Singapore City podcast, and I am Nick Salina. Hey, it's Nick Salina, and welcome to this episode, which is called normalize women wanting casual sex too women want casual sex we want casual sex what casual sex what no string sex what i should do a march you know down orchard road women we want casual sex and We all have banners, dildos and stuff. That would be interesting.

Why am I doing this episode? Okay, so basically what I have discovered through my own personal experience and talking to others, which is always how I get my podcast episode ideas, is that there seems to be this concept still prevalent in society that women can't have casual sex. we sleep with men and we get emotionally attached or we sleep with men and then suddenly we want them as our boyfriend right now scientifically yeah i'm going scientific a minute in yeah scientifically and biologically it's not entirely wrong because because we are obviously the baby making machine. We have all of these hormones released when we have sex with a man. And it's a very different experience for men who have sex with women. We do tend to emotionally attach a lot quicker after sex, right? And I know that's absolutely the case for me, right? I do attribute

sex too, like an emotional connection with a man. And I struggle with one night stands because I'm like, oh, it's just going to be shit sex because I'm not emotionally connected to that man. That being said, actually, I am and have discovered that sex for the act of sex itself it's fucking awesome and when I'm not getting sex right if there's a dry spell bless me then I'm like I'm gagging for it I'm fucking gagging for it and I'm like I need dick oh I have to tell you this story so I was at netball the other week right and I totally forget I have no filter right and I forget that there's lots of like newbies on the team so I'm sitting outside talking to my girlfriend who I'm close to I was talking about this like date I was gonna go

and then I was like yeah I mean fine I could tell he was a fuck boy and I'm like fine I will see him but as like as long as it ends up in getting some fucking dick I said it quite loudly and this poor new netball I like looked over like oh I was like oh god yeah I'm so sorry I'm nicks by the way no fucks given but yeah I was like I understand this guy is a fuck boy I understand whatever the protocol is going on but he's hot and I need some dick right that's where I'm at right now I don't want a relationship I don't want a marriage I'm not ready for any of that shit but fuck me you know I want to sit on his face that was my vibe and by me saying that it's almost oh my god oh my god Nick's like likes casual sex yeah I fucking do

in fact this year fuck me it's already September in it this year I've had some fire sex right this actually made me look back on the sex I had in the relationship with my fiance and I'm like what the hell was I thinking like it doesn't compare to the sex I have in and then after I had the fire sex I'm like I want that again I want it again I want it again and I want it again and I want again. Was I emotionally attaching to that guy? Yes, I was. Yes, I was. But my prevalent idea in my head isn't I want to see him because I want to marry him and he's going to be the father of my children. No, no, no, no. My prevalent thought is I need more of that fire sex it was incredible oh it was so good it's so good he just gets me so yeah it was casual fun

sex am I if I swear I bet people listen to this like oh my god I can't believe she's saying this about herself I mean that's like so gross no it's not we should normalize women who want to enjoy sex for sex sake as well and it's like oh i could go back in time here you know women were never supposed to enjoy sex it was almost like the man the sex was the man's pleasure and that's one of the most disgusting things as well about um female genital mutilation it's awful it's i can't believe that practice is even a thing and it's still going on now and it causes sex to be painful and it removes the pleasure like you've mutilated this poor woman's vagina and a clitoris it's like women were not supposed to ever enjoy sex and it's like if we don't orgasm

from sex it's okay as long as the guy orgasms right whoo he spunked mate he would spunk after two minutes into a tissue with his right hand we haven't achieved anything miraculous here for god's sake make me squirt then then we'll see a miracle not you fucking spunking well done so it's like it was sex was never designed for a woman to enjoy it for the act of sex itself actually fuck yes sex is great why does sex almost be like we have to you know be there to pleasure the man or we have to be there thinking oh I want to make a baby or we have to be there thinking like oh you know I'm not in the mood but he wants it no oh I can't go out tonight meet a guy and have casual sex or like I can't meet a guy and say I want to carry on seeing him but I actually

don't want to be with him I just want the sex oh no I can't do that that will make me look like a hussy that will make me like a slut that will make him disrespect me why why would it because men do it all the fucking time, don't they? Why should you not be able to enjoy the same lifestyle that guys enjoy just because you got a fucking pussy and not a penis? Sex is awesome. The physical aspect of sex, like sometimes I watch movies and there's sex scenes and I'm like, oh my God, where is my dick? I'm going through my phone book, like who can i someone and you know what then i think oh no i can't because i don't fancy him enough there's one one man on this island and he knows who he is he fucking knows there's one man on

this island at the moment where i'm like when are you coming over um and that's not because because I'm emotionally attached to him. I mean, I love hanging out with him. I do. But I just can't have sex now that's not as great as it is with him. I had sex and I'm like, oh, yeah, that wasn't the same. So now I can't do it to myself because I'm like, oh, if I go out and just meet someone for the sake of getting some new dick, what if it's not fire sex? Then that's, yeah, this is where I'm at. If you're listening, come over my house. But yeah, I want to be more open about this topic. And I guess I have to forge the way through and lead in this way for people to follow that I want to be very open that I like having casual sex. Because like, what's a girl

to do I'm not ready for another relationship I'm still emotionally healing from my engagement and that trauma I'm still trying to finish my fucking novel oh I'm bored of it as well I'm well bored listening to that novel thing as well let's just get it done shall we so I can't emotionally attach to someone and give them my all whilst I'm still healing from the past whilst I'm still super focused on my career I'm rebranding I'm writing a novel I'm doing this I'm doing that so how how can I do that and fit in somewhere I can't but do I want sex fuck yes do I want the intimacy hell yes do I want to sit on their face yes please yes so it's a tricky one right then And so that's in my head.

I'm in this space now at 35 where I'm like, I just want casual sex with someone that I connect with, right? But no judgment to those who can go out there and do one night stands. I've done them before. I mean, the guy that I'm like when I'm talking about fire sex and there's one guy on the island, I actually slept with him on the first date, right? So and it was incredible then and whatever. So I'm not against one night stands.

I'm here for it. It was like when the energy feels right and you're both in that space, then please knock yourself out. Go right ahead. Just be safe and wear protection. But I can't do it. So now I've like found that. Now I'm like, okay, I just, I want that. I want that dick.

Specifically that dick. Thank you. But I wish I could go off and perhaps find another dick that I would enjoy. Oh, my God, I'm totally, like, making men, reducing men to just a penis at this point. Not saying, oh, yeah, I found that man, but I wouldn't mind casually finding another man. I'm referring to them only by their turgid penises. I got that dick. I wouldn't mind another dick.

But I just, because I just, yeah, I want casual sex. And I like finding good sex. My girlfriend from the UK, who is my best friend's sister, I never asked for a therapist and, like, life support, she relishes in casual sex. And she has regular fuck buddies. I'm talking years' worth of fuck buddies that still come over, like, every week. And she loves it. And she'll meet new people because she's the same as me. She's not ready for a relationship.

There's a lot of shit in the past she's still, you know, healing from and working our way through. But why should you then deprive yourself of that intimacy at the same time? It seems to me that men think that women shouldn't even enjoy casual sex. Or if we start fucking you regularly, we're going to suddenly want to have your children in the next month. It still feels that way. Like you're treated like, oh God, you know, I still got to keep your arms length because you you're gonna want more and even saying to the guy hey i am off limits emotionally do not want your babies do not want to marry you done all that not interested but what we just did in bed hell yeah i want that i fucking want that even if i vocalize that i still

sense that there's like oh no what if she falls in love with me dude she ain't and lots of women are like that. We like sex. We like casual sex. I'd like to normalize us wanting it and I'd like to normalize us getting it without this whole slut whore label. I'd like us to normalize having it without fear that the person, the guy is going to think we're suddenly going to want to wife him up in a day. No, no. It's not that way anymore. We deserve to have the sexual experiences that we want. And many women don't want that. Many women stay in relationships and are happy. And I would, God, I would love, love, love to be in a loving relationship. Honestly, it's all I want. You know, like that forever bond. I want the husband. I want the children. And that is what I'm ultimately

searching for. But through no fault of my own, I've had to walk away from that prospect because I was cheated on, right? That's not my fault. So now I'm in a space where I'm like, right, well, what do I do? Because I'm not ready for it. I know I'm not. And if I met someone now and was like, yeah, I'm all in, I would not be giving myself the break I need to heal. And I would not be giving that person the true authentic me either. So why should I not deserve casual sex in the interim? I don't want to sit at home alone, you know, with my cats. No, I love my cats. I love my babies. But sometimes, yeah, just like fucking gagging for it. And women are like that we want sex as well like we do stop acting like we're gonna try and fucking strap you down

and chain you up if we have a night of passionate sex and ask for it again the following week you know it's like oh my god she's asked to see me again she what if she falls in love with me honey thinking too much of yourself there bro you're a cool guy we vibe but the bedroom antics is what I'm coming back for not your marriage certificate with your name on it so yeah I just want to make sure that women out there are very well aware that it's absolutely okay to want to enjoy the act of sex itself, to have casual sex, to have fuck buddies and to enjoy it. As long as you don't hurt anyone, as long as you're not pretending to be someone's girlfriend whilst having casual sex elsewhere, as long as you're very clear that, you know, it is just

casual sex, your end, then yeah, where's the fucking harm in it? There is none. All there is, is fun. No harm, lots of fun. And that is the end of this episode. Thank you for listening. If you have any thoughts on women having casual sex, please do slide into my DMs. Oh, and if you're really hot and you want casual sex, slide into my DMs on Instagram at Nick Selena, N-I-X-A-L-I-N-A. thanks for listening to the sex and singapore city podcast this episode was produced and hosted by me nick selena and recorded at the splice car studio in singapore i'm available to listen to on spotify apple podcasts google and all major podcast listening apps do subscribe to enjoy a new

episode every Monday evening. Please do give me a five-star review. It helps other people also find my podcast. For more awesome content and features to read, you can check out my website, sexandsingaporecity.com. That's sexandsingaporecity.com. I'm also on social media. Simply search at nixalina n-i-x-a-l-i-n-a to find me don't be shy come say hi