Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - Sending Sexts & Nudes - When is it Okay?

Episode Date: March 17, 2025

That shizz stays on their phone, or in their cloud, FOREVER. Let's not forget that key point. With love, Nixalina. ​For more awesome content to read including beauty, fashion or dating & love features, please do head over to my digital platform www.nixalina.com. Don't be shy, come say hai! Head over to my Instagram or Tiktok @nixalina to slide into my DMs.

Hi, it's Nick Salina. Welcome back to another episode of Can't Keep My Mouth Shut. I am super busy right now with many different projects, all fabulous and fantastic, and I can't wait to share it all with you. So for now, we're going to delve back into the archives of the podcast and we're going to listen to an oldie but a goodie. So enjoy this classic and I'll see you all next week. this podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships sex and love it may not be suitable for younger listeners this is the can't keep my mouth shut podcast and i am nick selena okay send in sex to men should you do it now for those who don't know what sex are who aren't

down with the millennial lingo. It is sexy text. It's not very well thought through. Sexy text, sex. Sex include photos, nudes, flirty messages. It's the whole thing, basically. Anything with an underlying notion of sex is a sext. So should you do it? I'm going to have the discussion for this one this isn't a pointer and I tell you yes or no because it's a huge gray area but I'm gonna begin by telling you about my little revenge porn story the guy actually who did this reached out to me very recently on Facebook just to see how I am and I was like dude do you not remember what you did and um he's like oh you know it was a while ago and I'm sorry you know I was a bit of dick back then. Sorry for any offense caused. I mean, once I tell you the story, you'll realize

that like him even having the ability to apologize to me is ridiculous. Like he should have been blocked forever. But I'm quite forgiving. And because I'm over it, I don't really care. He's moved on. I've moved on. I'm like, it's no dramas. But at the time, fucking mortifying. So let me begin. I'm dating him. I am maybe two to three months in. I actually really like this guy. I haven't met a guy like him for a while. He's really funny, big, tall, manly, but pretty. I did this Pokemon first date thing in London when Pokemon Go first become a thing and it was legit our first date and he was like one of the very few guys who was willing to head out into the streets of London with me to search for Pokemon Go and have our first date it was super

fun like it sounds ridiculous but it was so much fun neither of us really knew what we were doing with the Pokemon Go app I was trying to catch one of those little buggers and um I stood in a piss puddle like literally stood in I think a tramp's piss and then he's like I think you've stood in piss you stink and I had to go back to the office after our date and wash my feet of piss like it was super fun anyway we just got on really well he was really funny and um during the dating process we were sexed in and it's ridiculous it was like we've only together like three months and I was sending sex which I was so this is something else I'll address later on which is why I can't possibly give any black or white to this because hello I have done so he had a nude of me it was

taken in the mirror I was quite far away from from the nude shot as in like it wasn't grotesque you know I don't know why I took it I think I was away from him and just in the mood you know a girl's got feels too oh god I hope my dad doesn't listen to this it's mortifying anyway I sent the fucking nude all right send it to a guy I'd known for a couple of months he sent me a couple back a couple of videos so I'm like okay I'm gonna even kill him because something else that addresses always make sure I get stuff back from him anyway the shit hits the fan in the relationship if you can call it a relationship and he gets boozed up is the polite version of this story and basically doesn't show up at mine and whatever whatever doesn't work out what he then decides to do

because I don't know he's dead inside and has no feelings is he adds me to a whatsapp group chat with about 18 guys in it and they're like you can tell they're like lads lads lads lads type guys he adds me into this random chat and I'm like what the fuck is going on and I don't really understand I think it may or maybe he's done it by mistake then I realize what he's done is he's used my nude photo as the whatsapp group profile photo and he zoomed in on my vagina so my vagina as if this is even a story i can't believe this comes out my mouth and it's all true my vagina is now the profile photo of a group chat between 18 men that i don't fucking know in fact mortifyingly i knew of one of them and he's the most gorgeous male model in the uk like

like, oh, dreamboat. He's now seen my fucking vagina, right? So I'm in this group chat for about two minutes just to make sure I'm well aware what he's done. And then he removes me. And pretty much that's the last time we ever spoke or communicated. I ran next door to my best friend and was crying my eyes out like, what the fuck? I couldn't believe it. I had sent this guy in exchange between us and what the whole relationship was a fucking dude and because we had one argument about him getting too boozed up to come and see me he puts my vagina as a profile photo icon of a group chat I mean just free your minds people what the fuck so it become this whole revenge porn story it was covered by the newspapers in London and all that jazz and I moved on with my

life and about a month later I met my boyfriend who is you know an absolute angel so what's the point of this story okay one it's made me very well aware of sexting so if I hadn't have done that and we were we're doing this podcast before that happened I'd said hell yeah send some fucking sex why not and now I'm like yes people aren't as nice as what you think they are and people can change so they may be nice for x amount of years and then suddenly something goes wrong and they've got all that the problem with sexts is that they stay on the phone forever so even if he deletes it off his phone for example and says look look at my phone I've deleted it he's probably got an Amazon cloud somewhere with them all in. And I mean, I'm really struggling to talk about this

because I don't want to put people off at all because I did it and I know how fun it is. Okay, let's start with the pros. The pros of sexting is that you get over this really cool kinky bond with someone. If you're far away, albeit long distance, albeit on holiday or working hours, sexting is really fun. I think it helps build up a really good connection because if you're like talking all day like I can't wait to see you tonight I want to do this I want to do this I want to do that you just kind of get fired up and then when you see each other it's it's just explosive oh god that is the worst word I could have chosen for that point it's fireworks fireworks not explosive it probably is explosive if you've been sexting all day but yeah let's

move on so I think there's really good points to sexting however if you send photos in your sex it's not just kinky words it's kinky photos that's when you enter the dangerous territory now for me I am pretty confident with my body in that like if a nude got leaked I kind of probably wouldn't care and that's because I have no social boundaries no fucking filter I would be cringed if my mom or my dad saw it but other than that I'd be like I kind of you know look I'm 32 babe and I'm like if Jennifer Lawrence can deal with it I can fucking deal with it I think if you send nudes to someone you have to be very confident that you're okay with what you look like on the assumption that they show it to someone else because chances are they won't be the only one that sees that and

I have to bring up another point is that when I get sent sexts which I still do even though I'm in a relationship I will show my boyfriend and my friends the random sex that I get like I don't think when you send a sex to someone it ever stays with just that one person I could be wrong but you have to be prepared that maybe two three or four or five more people are going to sit so the pros of sexting is the build-up between the two people and the trust that you have in each other and the kinkiness and the excitement and the sexuality but the cons of the sexts is that should shit it's the fan they've got some really explicit stuff on you so you're thinking to yourself okay let's just keep it to sexting to words and I get that I do get that but for me being filth I don't

get the same vibe from sexting as I do from photos so I'm like okay if I'm willing to sext him in that manner I'm probably willing to send some nudes as well and vice versa so I've been thinking about this all day sex because you know what else am I going to do on a Monday and I'm thinking to myself like if there is any rules to this what could be the rules so I'm thinking okay don't sext until you are officially together and that's more implied for photos if that's any rule I could live by. It's that you make sure you really know this guy, that you are officially an item, boyfriend and girlfriend. It's not just a three-month fling or a six-month fling. I think that's really important. And two, only send photos that you are 100% comfortable with the idea of

someone else seeing that photo. And if he's really pushy, no, open your legs, no, bend over or whatever. I would say if you really don't want to do that, then he's a dick anyway for forcing nude to send nudes you don't want to send you know what I mean like there's no love lost there that idiot so don't be pushed into it send photos maybe only after you're officially boyfriend and girlfriend and send photos you're really comfortable with sending that you don't mind other people seeing and maybe send photos without your head in it like if there's no distinguishable features like tattoos or anything and you wouldn't really know it's saying lingerie who it is and maybe you can just chop that bit off if he's been really dirty and just send a headless nude oh god I don't

know it's so hard and there's of course the nude and lingerie thing right because I've said nude but you can send sexy lingerie and if he's like no I want to see more he has to wait till he sees you in person it's supposed to be a temptation concept anyway you know it's like a keep them hanging on it's not like a here I am you don't need to see me tonight because you've just seen five videos of me if you get my drift but what I will say as well about sexting is that I really pro it in a relationship my partner and I sext all the time and yeah it's great I know what he's material he's got on his phone and vice versa and it doesn't faze me in the slightest because I just know he's not that kind of guy so I think it also depends on your situation and the

person you're with because I trust my fellow completely I know that like it's just for him He's very private anyway, and he just doesn't have that nasty streak in him to do something so vindictive as like share my nude or put it as a group chat. So it does also depend on your current situation, because in the past one with my revenge porn story, I'd say never, ever, ever send nudes again. In my current situation with my fellow, I'm like, yes, send nudes. It's great. It's like so great.

It's so great. And I guess this is why I wanted to bring this up as an episode, because I'm really looking forward to people's comments and opinions about it I think personally yes you can do it on the premise of all these other things I've just covered but lots of other people will say absolutely don't even do it to your husband because you never know how things can go sour so it's such a hard excuse the pun thing to determine but yeah it's not just women sending nudes as well I get sent unsolicited dick pics, especially through Instagram, all the time. And I'm telling you now, dudes, if you're sending a photo of your knob to a girl you've never met, who's never asked for

it, who's in a relationship, that photo is going round. And I'm not even guilty. I don't feel guilty about that. I don't know him. It's just a stranger on Instagram who just blah, blah, blah, wants to send you a message. I click on it. It's a giant knob. What? So every time I get one of straight to my boyfriend screen grab straight to my boyfriend have a look at this I mean he he doesn't he doesn't want to look at another person's knob but I just want to make it very clear that I'm not cheating on him and I don't you know if he ever went through my phone you'd be like why is there all these dicks that aren't mine I can explain everything I can't so yeah I also screen grab and ferry around so I mean I'm part and parcel of the bad people here with

the sexting conversation so let's wrap this up and i basically want to put it back to you guys so you can comment message me on instagram at nixalina n-i-x-a-l-i-n-a sextonsingaporecity.com you can get me through there or email me but yeah instagram's probably the easiest and quickest way and just tell me what you think about the sexting or give me some of your sexting funny stories that can match my revenge porn nightmare thanks for listening to the can't keep my mouth shut podcast produced and hosted by me nick selena i'm recorded in the splice cast studios in singapore i'm available to listen to on spotify apple podcasts google and all major podcast listening apps do subscribe to enjoy a new

episode every monday evening please do give me a five-star review it helps other people also find my podcast for more content and features to read you can check out my website nixalina.com that's nixalina.com i'm also on social media simply search at nixalina n-i-x-a-l-i-m-a to find me don't be shy come say hi You