Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - She Said, He Said - We Need To Talk About Contraception

Episode Date: April 4, 2021

How much do you really know about contraception? How much do you know about STDs? (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) Do you know the pros & cons of each contraception? Which ones protect against STDs & act as birth control? Paul Foster and I are here to talk it out.

This podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships, sex and love. It may not be suitable for younger listeners. This is the Sex in Singapore City podcast, and I am Nick Salina. Hi, it's Nick Salina, and welcome back to another Monday evening of my podcast. And today I've dragged back into the studio my co-host Paul Foster Yo, yo, yo, it's good to be back as always Are you feeling better? I am, I really am

We were supposed to be in the studio last week but I sounded like Shit, just to be polite No, she sent me a little voice note, I was like listen Yes, you don't sound very, very well And we need your real voice and energy to come out in the podcast I was like, I can still come in And you're like, no Let's do everyone a favor, especially me and Ken

In the studio Let's just postpone it I'm glad you're back This is the Nick Salina we all need to hear Yay! Especially for this episode I've got a lot to say Okay, okay

So, tonight, we're going to talk about contraception. Wow, that's a big one. Yeah. That's a big one. Especially for the females. Males is pretty easy. Is it not big for the males, babe? I mean, it's big for the males.

Because it's small. But we have one basic form of contraception for boys, right? The go-to, the condom. Okay. Well, you've gone all in. I'm going in. You've gone right on in. Bowls deep with the condom.

That's it. Okay. Yeah. So that's the only male contraception. Did you know it's also the only contraception that protects against STDs? Yes, I did. Actually, very good point, though. Yes, yes.

Good point. And I guess that's why they always push. That is the main agenda when we're in school of it's birth control, but it's also STD safe. It's the only one. That's right. That's right. So good call on that. That's hence why the condom is very important.

I don't like you. What? Hang on a minute. I wish you could see his fist. Coming up from behind the screen. Honey, you wish. That's more just a show of power and strength. Not necessarily size. So when it comes to condoms,

obviously it's the first one we run. Tell me, as a dude, what are your thoughts about it? What do you know about it? Hit me. um look like we started off the two main things it's birth control right stops you from uh impregnating someone but also more importantly if not you know more important is protection against std so you know i think you hit a nail on the head we've come out flying with the condom but you're right that is the only form of contraception that gives you that safety um you know there's

always people like ah yeah it doesn't feel as good la when you wear condom you know no real feeling but you're still having intercourse and you're still having sex and it's still great I mean I don't want to lie to my listeners I don't think it feels as good either it doesn't feel as good yeah yes yes we can all acknowledge that yeah but it still feels good also just a tip after two bottles of prosecco you won't know yeah there you go right yeah you'll be like it feels great exactly you're like you couldn't tell did you use that condom was it not in the right moment with the right turn on and the right lubrication whether it's natural or otherwise hey it's it's all good the the action is still the same right yeah but it doesn't feel the same it doesn't i

think that's going to always be the biggest qualm you know both male and females would say it just doesn't quite feel the same it's not as intimate um and so on and so forth so there's always like also that awkwardness when you're like get it on yeah and then it's like hey do you have a condom you know that's part of the process right i think i love that i think that's that's important and shoot that's embracing the whole sexual nature of what we're doing um i think a lot of people which that's the struggle point when they are on a first like date or when they're getting to know someone or thing and then they want to be intimate for the first time even if it is a one-night stand or beyond it's that awkward have you got a condom yeah yeah because then they get to the point where

like if they say well shit no i wasn't expecting anything tonight yeah then you then the guy opens his wallet and pulls out that one that he put in in 1995 and go i think this is still good let me just uh check oh yeah yeah it's there's no holes you know it will most likely break off as soon as he tries to put it on which is another thing to mention about condoms is they can break they can sure they can it's not a low probability yeah but they can i was gonna say it's not a hundred percent um percent foolproof for pregnancy but then actually no contraception is a hundred percent yeah you're gonna have to be a little bit unlucky right yeah things can still happen but yes yes um but yeah i still think that's always the first one as males and females

we always learn about right yeah the condom because of the double factor yeah you like fit it up with water you make into a water balloon yeah over the cucumber and biology class you know after watching the baby being you know birthed the shock factor of holy shit okay um and that still didn't put none of us off yeah having sex yeah you know puberty exactly exactly hey look it's it's all natural right it's just hormones and and everything else um talking of hormones there's another plus point about a condom it is a hormone free contraception also good point which is something i will delve into later because it for me that's a big factor of contraception that is definitely overlooked especially like in sex education yeah that's

true no one says hey look at all these pills they're gonna send you batshit crazy yeah well anything right there's various forms of contraception for females and if not all but one is hormone based so yeah you're right and sometimes it takes you a bit of time to find that right one that you know fits your psyche and your body because hormones like you said mood swings weight gain oh it's acne yeah i mean you name it there's a whole list of is it really worth it i'm having a mood swing just listening yeah yeah yeah so many and that's what i said so lucky i'm a guy please leave the studio i don't like you anymore it's like i said i'm lucky i'm lucky i'm a guy and i don't have to deal with with

with all those um different scenarios um so yeah before i have like this because contraception like we said at the beginning is a big topic so what i want to touch upon firstly is the std side okay and then i will i think we should then go into like the different kinds of contraception and of course preventing pregnancy because that is the two main reasons as you said birth control and stds yes so for stds i don't know how well people are educated on this subject i know what I learned at school when I was 16 and it wasn't really anything worse than like when you enter in the real world yeah yeah totally I think I would say this is same for me yeah yeah so I want to um basically so I'm gonna tea spill for a second and I'm telling this story because it's

relevant as to why I wanted to talk about it with you as well so on Christmas day last year which you know 2020 was a fucking disaster I slept with my ex obviously I didn't use a condom because he's been my partner for four and a half years yeah oh four years give or take yeah feels like 40 years in prison so then unfortunately I find out the same day he'd slept with this new one that he's now victimizing bless her without a condom right so of course I didn't use a condom because I didn't know he was sleeping with her yeah he slept with her the same morning yeah so obviously when i found that out when i when i found out he'd slept with her my first question was did you use a condom because i know we fucking didn't yeah and then he said oh i know i'll at least owe you that

no i didn't i just thought one you're fucking disgusting but two i now need to go and get a check because i don't know who else she slept with right and you're just saying that because of the timing it was very close not in general terms of history from whenever well he'd well no we'd still been we'd still been sleeping together i guess after we split up so this was like between october and december he was already screwing her and still sleeping with me and pretending only her that you know of thank you yes yeah this is the other can of worms it opens up so if you're if you're that mentally fucked that you're able to sleep with two women in the same day and on Christmas day like it's nothing sacred season of giving right it weren't Thanksgiving let me tell

you that it was thanks and fuck off so that's the thing that's the mentality it's like you slap me in the face like fuck so not only have you been sleeping with her behind my back lying to her about me lying to me about her she has no idea and I saw his phone she was like oh are you still out with the boys and he's been in my bed all night right yeah so then they think well there is probably others he's not using a condom yeah i know because singapore's so small i know at least one of the guys this girl was slept with yeah yeah let's just say i'm pretty sure he slept with other people as well yeah so then there's a huge and if she's not if this girl's not using a condom with my ex and she's known him a month and a half i'm sure she hasn't used the condom the other one

so it's just this knock-on effect of stds being so easily spread and it's something that people really really need to tap into like and that's why like this is a real brutally honest story and it's not nice for any one of us involved but someone has to talk about it like because now i'm like fuck i need to have a test before i sleep with someone else that's fair right that's like i feel like that's the adult thing to do because unfortunately lots of scds don't have any symptoms yeah and if you're sleeping with people in the same day then ill did you shower in between I hope so. Yes, at the minimum, please.

Yeah, so, like, if you're doing that and you're seeing people without condoms, like, you've known this person's chick a month and a half. You don't know her history. If she tells you her history, she doesn't know their history. You know, and we're not all going to walk around and be like, hey, I caught chlamydia last week. Oh, wait. So it's like I just want people to wise up a little bit.

Yeah. that's what i'm asking i guess even just edge not yeah educate yourself on this topic and not be afraid to be like if they don't want to use a condom don't have sex with them yeah tough call all right trust me yeah and i'm i'm like preaching from an experience of always you know going yes okay in my late 20s yeah yeah but it's tough um so what you're saying is at least if you do sleep with multiple partners wear a condom and then when you are in an intimate relationship with a long-term partner that's when you can at least decide not to have to yeah to wear a condom and it'll be a joint decision like i felt like that decision was

completely taken away from me yeah because i had no idea what it was up to yeah so after four years Why would I then go, oh, put a condom on? Like, it didn't register. Okay. I see where you're coming from, but I'm also going to, again, play devil's advocate here where he was technically, you guys were broken up for two months. Mm-hmm.

So. Yes. And you kind of knew already kind of what kind of guy he was. Oh, yeah. Scum of the earth. So at that point, I'm still surprised you would have thought that in the two months that you guys were not together, that he hadn't slept with someone else well no he um the last time i knew he had he told me he'd

use the condom aha that okay told you yeah you see i don't know so yeah there's a i there has to be a level of trust like you said but at that point i don't know whether there's any more trust anyway so just saying oh yeah i did but maybe he didn't also i don't we don't know this is also great to have the convo if you say to someone like oh you know do you have you had an std checkup and they say yeah i'm no i have i'm fine there has to be a level of trust there as well yeah yeah yes absolutely that they have they have and they're fine you know because a lot of people no one's like i mean no one's going to sit there and say yeah i got checked i've got a war chlamydia and potentially syphilis like no one's going to say that yeah yeah yeah yeah so it's such a like

it's such a murky gray area like you get that awkward chat about putting a condom on that awkward chat about have you been checked yeah yeah i guess those are the kind of things you pre-screen if you can but yes but when i love to bring it out yeah like first day yeah dinner dessert so when was your last std test yeah yeah have you ever had chlamydia gonorrhea warts hpv the list goes on it is it is did you know there is 20 plus stds i did not know there was 20 plus i knew there was a few yeah but i didn't know there was 20 plus 20 plus out of those 20 plus though how many uh treatable or curable most of the virus based ones are actually incurable as and they'll be with you for life.

So like HPV is the human papillomavirus virus. I think that also contributes to potential cancer cells. Yeah, cervical cancer. Yeah, in the womb and the uterus. Yeah. So that HPV, that also I think comes out in general warts as well. Okay. Then the viruses, you've got HIV.

Yeah. You've got herpes. Herpes, yeah. Syphilis, gonorrhea. Hepatitis. So I think most of, I don't know if gonorrhea is treatable. I don't know if that's a. I think it is, if I'm not wrong.

So that might be the second level. If you want to put yourself off sex and STDs, by the way, people, Google syphilis in like the 19th century before we had treatments. What is it now? Look up what? Blue pancake? Blue waffle. Blue waffle.

Blue waffle. Just Google that if I'm not wrong. Yeah. Blue waffle. i think someone check it and then let me know because i'm not gonna do it just just ken please tell me you're googling blue waffle and this is where we got to yeah but i mean when we say incurable we mean incurable you get this you've got this for life yeah and this is the really shitty thing as well about like partners cheating on the partners as well is you could get an

incurable std because your partner was out cheating and you have no idea yeah you know yeah so it's just such a i was gonna say it's such a sticky area but it's like the wrong word no i think that's quite apt that's quite apt yeah so condom birth control and std protection if we're not using a condom and the girl's like it's okay don't worry we don't have to use a condom because i have and then she'll list one of the various female contraceptions that she has so that's also where it comes into play of oh cool for the guy it's like oh well she's not gonna get pregnant that's awesome that's good because we don't want that um but maybe they don't think about oh i'm there's a chance i might get something here again because for whatever

reason it may be yeah no very good point no one shows a symptom no or no one knows or two bottles of prosecco in it's like i don't even know anymore yeah you know so i think that's where there's a fine line and between doing it right or doing it wrong or doing it better or not yeah in that sense um but there are a lot of times we we don't calculate it that way in that moment oh god yes yes i mean look let's we're gonna be honest here right sure yeah yeah it is what it is if i want to you know rip your clothes off and we didn't have a condom i don't mean you i mean like proverbial you look you're gross like a like yes a man a man a man i was shaking my shaking my fist at her again guys babe i don't want to see your fist

shaking ever again yeah yes if i want to rip a really hot man's clothes off yeah and he's like I don't have a condom in the moment. I would struggle so hard to be like, let's leave it then. I bid thee farewell. Yeah, yeah. I would probably be like, have you had a test? But then I still say, have you had a test? Have you had an STD test?

When was your last STD test? Sure. He says, oh, two years ago. I'm clear. No worries. And you'd be like, okay. But wouldn't it just be like, just wear a condom anyways? Yeah.

Yeah. Basically. It's all you got. It's your barrier. I know this is a really depressing condom convo, everyone. Yeah, so don't have to ask anything like that to ruin the mood. Just be like, if you want to have sex, wear a condom. Yeah.

I think that's the easiest way of blanketing the whole situation. Until at least like, yeah, until you become a thing or you two are comfortable around each other. Because also guys and girls, STDs, a lot of them don't have any symptoms. So actually, bless them, the person might not even know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. they have so one of the things along with like contraception and condoms is to go and get checked go and have an std like i said i've now got to go and have one i don't i don't think i

have anything i'm sure but i might i mean i don't know he's he's played the cards and dealt me the hand and i'm like i refuse to then not get checked yeah and it's like 300 bucks is it yeah it's not fucking cheap in the uk it's free babe uh-huh and here i was like jesus welcome to singapore you know come on but like i'm like do you know what if that's 300 i've got to spend for my own mental peace and to be able to like if when i meet the next guy and be like this is i took a test i'm all good and give him mental peace it's worth it yeah yeah i'm just pissed off i i got put in that situation because sure as eggs and eggs my ex isn't having a test yeah he's already on on instagram he's already cracking on to others there's there's even more

so if you're listening girls how do you know this oh it's a friend told me um okay someone once told me once okay got it got it so i want to make it very clear std tests are are part of your sexual health they're nothing to be ashamed of you should be able to talk about it yeah let's go to the next level of the female contraception and maybe perhaps when you are in a long-term intimate relationship and everything's good what are the options females can use um this situation in terms of contraception okay yeah there's there's actually quite a few the main one that people know about is the oral contraceptive pill yep which is there's a call something called the combined pill and the mini pill so one has just estrogen i believe and then

one has progestin and estrogen okay so they're combined as two different hormones so that could be the double power of making you batshit crazy oh my i i gotta be honest i went on pills and after pills after pills and I yeah yeah fucking went off the chart yeah okay like I went on my first pill when I was 16 when I had a partner and my first little boyfriend and um it made me fat and yeah mental yeah really angry mood swings wow and then I went on something that's quite popular in Singapore called Yasmin for many years and Yasmin was great Yasmin was fine I go back on yasmin when I was with my ex so like last year I decided to go back on yasmin and it made me fucking mental even though it was okay with me for me in my 20s this is the

other thing like you can't just say like because you're you're different at 32 as you are at 22 different hormones already yeah yes yes so that was really that was really eye-opening I was on it was like just for a month in april i took the yasmin and i was like depressed yeah yeah yeah wow and then as soon as i come off it i was like back yeah okay and it's something i feel like guys really need to get on to on board with this because my partner at the time was just so angry with me and was not supportive and kind of almost saw it as an excuse and i think like it's a bit like with pmt guys are like oh pmt all right love but you're not a bitch you have bnt like it's a thing yeah yeah yeah some of us have it more than yeah yeah yeah there's varying degrees

but yes so this this thing with the the contraceptive pill it's like seems to be the go-to after condoms so condoms as we know is the quick and easy um you can just buy from the corner store you know the 7-eleven and like woohoo gas station you got it yeah yeah all good then it's like right if we want to actually have proper birth control the pill yeah which again is still easy to get but you still have to be the right age and you have to go to the doctors to get it so that's that level there of you know buying it in a more um in your face kind of exchange you know you have to go and actually see a doctor and the doctor's going to be like so why are you would you like it are you having sex already and so on and so forth so you're like no i'm not having sex

because I just want to take an oral contraceptive pill for no reason. I want to see how crazy I can get, you know? To ensure I never have sex. I'm going to sell them for $20 a pill at a club and let everyone go crazy, you know? Big night out. Yeah. Well, I mean, I don't want to bash the pill too much,

because it's actually very highly effective. Yep, yep, yep. And what's really good about most of them is it makes your periods less heavy. Yes. As you well know with your periods, Paul. Yes. Uh, many, many girlfriends who have done pretty much every single pill.

So I've gone through, I've, I've shared that journey several times. Uh, not even lightens the period, but also manage the timing. You know, your timing because you, you, you know, you stopped taking the pill on the last day. You know that your period is going to come in that period, that period, a period in that period. Yeah. Um, yeah.

And the cramps, it helps with cramps. If you suffer like me, it actually alleviates a lot of the pains. You don't, you have to like take four hours out of your day to curl up in a ball. you can actually crack on yep yep um i think with the pill the pill is the start for the rest like the injection and the implant which is what we get to so i think with the pill you really need to shop around with what actually works for you and it's something you know you can send you have to really be in tune with your emotions and if if you're full of rage oh my god i remember one of them i went on i was so angry it was like a ball of anger was in my chest every morning i woke up

was the pill green okay okay like Hulk smash cake every morning and that's what turned my hair green yeah yeah there you go see it's all starting to come together I knew it it was just I felt I was really in tune with my emotions so like that was a different one to Yasmin Yasmin made me cry and be depressed this one made me bored of rage and can it can you determine this kind of ready in the first month of trying a pill yes okay yeah yasmin i i stopped after three weeks okay because it just yeah you knew it was throwing you off okay and as soon as i come off it i was like okay okay so the the hormones in the contraceptive pills are are the same hormones that run throughout other contraceptive options

so like the implant and the injection is of the similar i think it's progesterone in the implant yeah so the implant and the injection is also quite similar but the implant is a rod that goes in the arm and sits under the skin yep and that lasts for three to five years yeah yep and you just leave it there yep it doesn't stick out for anyone who's not it's not huge like what is that Being tracked by the government. Is this the new way after COVID? Everyone has a tiny little chip in their arm. Yeah, so it's done under local anaesthetic, I think, as well.

Yep, I believe so. Yeah. You've got to go to a gynae for it, though, if I'm not wrong. You do. Yes, okay. And with that, I think they make you do the pill anyway beforehand. Oh, okay. To get, like, even, like, three months' worth to say, like,

are you good with this hormone? Gotcha. Because you don't want to stick a rod in your arm for anesthetics and then, like, three weeks in, like me, like, what the fuck? Yeah, fair enough. That's good. Yeah. Okay, okay.

And the same with the injection. It's slightly different. It's injection in the arse or the upper arm. Upper arm or bum, yeah, every three months, if I'm not wrong. You're not wrong. Yeah, okay. Oh, my God, Pauline. I've been, yeah.

I've been around. I've been educated. Oh, wow. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I couldn't love you more right now. You know way more than I thought you would. Because I'm pretty well educated, but only because of what I do. Yes, yes.

This is stuff I've actively researched and learned over the last, God knows, like 10 years. I didn't know any of this at school. Neither did I. It's taken us into our adult years to really know because you learn from other people. And that actually sucks because you kind of should know as a teenager because that's when you're discovering sex. Yeah. But I don't think they want to promote all these kind of things so early. No, that's true.

They want to promote the condom early because of STDs. I think that's why. It makes so much sense now, doesn't it? Yeah. They knew what they were doing. Who knows? Yeah, yeah. Oh, and what I will say going back to the implant and the injection

is they do often offer irregular periods. Yeah, okay. Whereas obviously with the pill, you know. Right, okay. Right. Three weeks on, week off done. Whereas this, it can be like maybe really heavy and then you maybe get used to it and then it's not. Late, early. Okay. Okay. That's a good point to know. So for me, being hormone adverse. Yeah.

Actually, wait, before I move, because there's two key like hormone free options, right? For women. But one of the other main ones that doesn't have hormone is the contraceptive ring. which goes inside, is released. The IUD? Is that an IUD? Okay, that's different. Wow. Yeah.

Okay. So it's basically like a ring. Yep, yep. Just like a cock ring, everyone, but one you put inside. Yep, yep. Don't try this at home with a cock ring, by the way. It's the wrong one, huh? Yeah.

And then it goes in for three weeks. You remove it, period. Then you put another one in for three weeks. Oh, wow. So it's basically like, I guess this would be great for someone who can't physically take pills because it's pretty similar to the combined pill. Yeah, estrogen and progesterone, I think. Yeah, it's the combined pill, slightly lower dose,

and you can put it in yourself. So it's a ring that will secrete, release the hormones rather than taking an oral pill. Okay, interesting. That one I didn't know, Nick Salinas, I thank you. Yeah, pleasure. Sure, and what's great about this is if you whip it out, you can return to, say you want to try for a baby,

take it out, done. Okay. Crack on. Whereas I think with the pill, it's still more in your system. Yeah, one month off. Yeah. Yeah, give or take. Exactly.

Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, but for me, I've never done this, so I'd like someone to come forward, because I feel like, what happens when you have sex? Do you feel the ring? Yeah, yeah. Are you fucking the ring? What, double?

Double hole, is it? wow but that would be the same question for the iud as well right everyone's kind of like oh would you be feeling that oh we gotta get onto the iud because that motherfucker destroyed me oh no oh gosh for anyone who hasn't listened to story time this is what happened when i had an iud fitted please fucking listen to it so i was like hormone free hormone free and the copper iud is hormone free fuck so there's two types of iuds there is the hormone one and the copper one yeah so i was like brilliant tiny tiny little t-shaped coil yeah inserts in yeah you leave it in forever not forever three to five years as well yeah something along those lines then can take it

at the number one where if you take it out you can start for a baby straight away also just releases back your fertility and it sits inside you don't know it's there and life's great like Except it was the most painful seven months of my life. I had such bad period pains. I ended up having to call the ambulance once. And they took me to hospital and put me on morphine in the ambulance. And I was just like, get this fucking thing out. And they were like, no, there's no gynecologist around at the moment.

It was awful. I've never felt pain like it. And every single month it happened. So when I wasn't having my period, I was like, okay, this is okay. This is good. This is okay. and then as soon as I my period come it was the what I thought I thought it like embedded into my womb I was gonna ask you do you know what the reason was no okay but they can do that they can

slip yes they can they can attach themselves like the uterus lining um I don't know because when I went I had to get it removed in Singapore when I come back to Singapore from the UK I then checked myself and straight away got it removed and it was literally like cough pull done yeah and that was it and after that no more serious pain that you experienced okay yeah and that's all i had to do it wasn't attached anywhere it was bloody tiny but it it destroyed me i called it satan's child get satan's child out of me and i one of my friends actually recently told me about how seriously painful she currently finds her coil was out yeah that's interesting there's some women like to feel nothing yeah yeah be good to see how many people would write into you and let you know

do a poll of who's had that experience yeah okay because no one bloody told me like no one told me it would be like this okay and what i've gathered as well is it's actually a lot better for women who've had kids which i haven't so except you did have satan's child in you for seven months fuck me yeah i feel like i gave birth to something two more months and you would have been in trouble That would have come out Yeah It's got to be a problem When you have to go on morphine

For the pain Yeah Wow And yeah But it's free in the UK right Yep Okay And it's free to remove in the UK

Except no one was around to remove it So I come back to Singapore And paid like Hundreds and hundreds of dollars Yeah And all I had to do Was cough And pull the fucking thing out

Wow Yeah That was not a happy day for me Next time I charge you $50 No problem Tweezers Yeah You know

ready cough go go you're gonna start a side business yeah side hustle man you gotta gotta do it so alongside that the other um major hormone-free one is the diaphragm okay so yeah okay but i also thought that the diaphragm and the iud is very almost similar or the same but no they're not because they're different they're different designs the diaphragm is actually closer out to the condom ah yeah so it's like a dome yep goes in and you put it so it's basically a physical barrier yes and so it's like an inverse condom yes put it in you have sex oh the sperm come out like where's the egg where's the egg i imagine that's what they say yeah yeah well now it's more like because when they're coming out they're like they're dying already on the way in

They're like, woohoo, woohoo. But at that stage, when they're dripping out, it's like, cough, but with no tweezer, you know? Yeah, they're on their way out. It's done. See, I took that to a dark place. You really, can you tell he's an actor, everyone? Yeah.

He's here for work. Yeah, DM me, I'm available. Yep, no worries. Oh my God, I can't get that image out of my head. Okay, Paul's weird dying sperm out of my head a minute. so shaking my fist again what it does is this internal condom and you have to keep it in six hours after sex right okay yeah needs to stay in place for about six hours um but it's always in you always keep it in anyways ah you yeah you put it in yeah before you have sex yes i see it's like

this is what it means so the diaphragm and the condom are like brothers and sisters yeah yeah gotcha gotcha and the contraceptive ring stays inside yes right that's like a pill for the vagina if you will yes but the iud the copper coil and the actual iud goes into your actual womb yes yes so that's very different okay so it's like yeah yeah first level second level third level exactly yes okay right but so the diaphragm i don't think many people actually know it's even a thing um once again as the rest doesn't protect you from stds but it is a thing that women can use because you then don't have that old condoms you can't feel much because you can't like it's something but it also means you don't have to be on contraception with a hormone yep and you can

just take it out after sex yep yep so you got up to six hours no you got so it has to be in for six hours but you can't leave it in any longer than 24 hours right okay so if you do go and get drunk and you put your little diaphragm in and you have the best night of your life or a mediocre night you never know yeah yeah what a waste of a diaphragm just don't forget the next day like to yeah remove like a tampon yeah yeah so and and you you can just wash it and use it again no no just like a condom okay these are one time use

ah gotcha there is one more though the patch no no wait wait wait sorry sorry sorry you can use it more than once

yeah the diaphragm you can that's what yes yes yes the diaphragm you can use more than once yes

in fact if you wash it and look after it because I'm assuming it might be silicon based basically I think it is then you just

like a period cup I guess if anyone has one of those it's going to be the closest analogy in my head as well I don't want to say it like an inverse period cup yeah uh yes correct yes correct okay but it's also

it's like period cups extremely tricky to put in i think you have to really practice the shit out of that yeah i would be a little bit scared of that like how about if it wasn't you don't have to fucking do it yeah but you know like how about if it wasn't put it properly and then now we're having sex and then you know it's oh no like my super strong sperm like swam up and went around it or something because you left you left a gap i don't know the patch the patch let's talk about the patch that was another hormone uh contraception you could use it is um obviously it's stuck to the outer edge of the skin yeah you don't have to pop a pill you don't have to have an injection you don't have anything inserted but it's visible on some level yeah yeah you just have a little patch

find a place to put it usually on your bum as far as i know and right after your period's finished yeah then you you change it change it yep i think you change it once a week uh is it once a week yeah or there's probably different ones you go where you it's like the pill you just go into your next period and you take that one off yeah and then okay when that period's finished again you put another one on kind of kind of deal yeah yeah yeah okay i mean i don't i don't know how popular that one is just because of the visibility of it but yeah once again this the patch is probably quite a good one to get to grips with the hormones because if you take a patch if you put a patch on and you feel yourself becoming rageful and you just pull it off yes yes yes

that's probably yeah so i think we have covered a lot here and there's i don't know if anyone listening realizes there were this many different types of contraception i mean when i learned about them on i was like oh wow and i've learned one more from you today so that's added to my initial list of um what i knew um but again see guys we have it easy i have to say and almost to some extent then don't complain about having to wear a condom hold on i need just a round of applause this is why i love him yeah just just suck it up yeah like it's all good in that sense for for all those reasons we've just mentioned in this in this episode yeah yeah it's i mean we all we all know it doesn't feel great right but if you're gonna want to sleep with more than one

person condom is the way forward if you're sleeping with one person your relationship both go and get tests like before i met my fella my ex i had a test done and then after i got with him six months in i had another test done i mean obviously i'm para about it because of my family history but i didn't i wanted to make sure before i was clean and then six months into sleep with him i was clean yeah and also then i could tell like if i were took one before and then i'm in a relationship and i'm like whoa i got chlamydia yeah at least and he'd be like what was that when you slept with that one guy we didn't come home that one night you know he pushed the blame back on you yeah i didn't do anything what the fuck gaslighting yeah yeah he'd give me an std and

it would definitely then be my fault yeah yeah but like that's how on top of it i was yeah and i i'm so here for going getting checks yeah this is not sponsored by singapore std clinic but it should be yeah yeah i was gonna say we we should be getting some sort of funding for this episode dear government do you want a new face of your std clinics i'm just for me i mean i know i personally have no shame anyway but i don't feel shameful or embarrassed about going to an std clinic no it's because there's still like that stigma attached to it but you're what you're doing is just making sure hey i'm gonna check i'm healthy you're doing the right thing yeah yes and then you don't have to use that condom you two can get it on just don't make babies

unless you want to which is actually going to be one of our next topics yes yes what a nice ending yeah

yeah alright we'll leave it at that I mean and as always I guess we're here to learn we're here to share

if anyone's got any questions just ask Nick Salina don't don't don't message me to be honest no you were quite good then just

I think I'm good from that for the males I think the males sometimes maybe they don't know you know they want to ask i'm happy to help darling you know way more about this subject than most of the men i know i thought you're gonna be like yo condom what else and the pill the condom on the

pill everyone's like i fail with and then yeah so you're you know for i think for men you can definitely message paul though yeah if it's too embarrassing to message me and this is important stuff to know really to be honest um and i i really think it can make your relationship very healthy because you are able to then discuss these options with your partner yeah and make her feel yeah special and and that you're you're looking out for her and trying to find the right you know contraception for the both of you yeah and that's very important and at least you'd understand when she's smashing plates over your head yeah it's the bill yeah it's not because let's move to the next one darling it's just not working just coming with a checklist and there's

Cups flying everywhere, like diaphragm. Yeah, throw Yasmin the fuck out, man. Just kick her out. Just, you know, get rid of her. Okay, people, well, you know where we are. If you need us, always message us at Judgment Free Zone, especially on this topic, and they will help us always. Take care and always have fun and be safe.

Have fun and be safe. That's it. Peace out, bye. Bye. Bye. thanks for listening to the sex and singapore city podcast this episode was produced and hosted by me nick selena and recorded at the splice car studio in singapore i'm available to listen to on spotify apple podcasts google and all major podcast listening apps do subscribe to enjoy a new

episode every monday evening please do give me a five-star review it helps other people also find my podcast for more awesome content and features to read you can check out my website sex and singaporecity.com that's sex and singaporecity.com i'm also on social media simply search at nick selena n-i-x-a-l-i-n-a to find me don't be shy come say hi