Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - Storytime - Here's What Went Down (Pun Intended) When I Had a IUD Inserted

Episode Date: April 26, 2021

It wasn't fun. It wasn't pretty. The morphine was great though. 

this podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships sex and love it may not be suitable for younger listeners this is the sex in singapore city podcast and i am nick selena hi it's nick selena back with another episode of my podcast thanks for tuning in on this monday evening or if you're tuning in not on a Monday. You rebel, you. You rebel without a cause. Today, I'm bringing you another story time. You know, we all love my story times, don't we? Because we all listen to them like, how the fuck did that happen to you? I'm trying to bring less drama into the story time so it doesn't seem like I just attract hell wherever I go. But this one,

I also want to detail because I think it's quite useful at the same time. I completely understand being tear gassed by the police in Paris isn't a useful story time. It's just a lull. But this one, I think we're going to help people. So this is, here's what went down, pun intended, when I had an IUD copper coil fitted. For those who don't know, an IUD coil is a contraceptive that you have inserted into your womb, which then sits in there for X amount of years, and basically stops you getting pregnant the reason I decided to go on a coil was I had just um I'd been with my partner for I don't know a year maybe less than and um previously the pill had kind of fucked me up a bit mentally a lot of the pills that I was trying weren't working

we weren't doing me any good you know like the hormones are fucking me up and obviously we didn't want to get pregnant and didn't want to use condoms so I found out about the copper coil which is hormone free so I was like fucking great so it goes inside your womb you don't even know it's in there when you have sex you can't feel the little thread that hangs out which has to stay there for them to eventually pull it out hormone free so you don't get affected but you don't get pregnant as and when you do want to have babies they just whip it out and you can return to normal straight away and start trying for a kid great awesome can stay in there for years here for it no one fucking told me the pain of what it would feel like when they put it in

so I had it inserted in the UK and only after I come to Singapore and had to like I'll get down down that later on in this episode but I know after they come to Singapore did someone say we don't recommend anyone having this put in um who hasn't had kids because it's something to do with your cervix being still like shut and not open I didn't get any kind of I went to a professional clinic you know I didn't just go down a back alley like oh give me a copper coil I was in a proper sexual health and family planning clinic went to all the consultations and what they told me was I'd need someone to come and like make sure take me home once it's in painkillers and all that jazz it will settle down a couple of days you might have irregular

bleeding for a bit and you might have cramps at the beginning whatnot but that they didn't say don't do it so i made my boyfriend take some time off work that afternoon went to the clinic when they put it in i felt like someone was shoving a ball of fire and knives and satan's pain into my fucking womb i almost passed out because of the pain but i couldn't pass out because i was so much fucking pain I haven't oh I'm literally clamping my legs together at the fucking pain at this point I screamed I was squeezing the nurse's hand and like without too much information on you know me and my physical body I am quite small down there that is too much information isn't it I've already got I've already done it and put it out there hey boys guess what it's like fucking

a virgin I'm quite small I'm also childless I've never had kids I don't know why anyone thought I should be doing this but it was blinding fucking searing pain I have never ever felt anything like this and then blood automatically sorry sorry guys if guys are tuning in for this I don't know why you tuning in for this if I'm totally honest but yeah blood everywhere and I was just lying there I wanted to vomit with the amount of pain and it's something I never expected you know I've had smear tests I've you know had STD tests I've had them put the contraption in and have a look or whatever like you know if we take care of our sexual health which I obviously want everyone to do yeah no it's fine like I've had it all before no nothing like that oh my god I feel sick thinking

about it so I was lying there screaming and they and then immediately my stomach was cramping up right so they gave me they had to put sanity I was bleeding so much I had to put sanitary towel there like whatever they said oh this is all normal this is all normal they had to wait till I felt unthanked to let me out luckily my boyfriend was waiting in the clinic reception we'd actually had a fight as well that day because he was a bit of a prick from start to finish and we and I think I went there on my own and then told him to fucking go away and I'll go home on my own because I just couldn't deal with him but he thankfully was waiting for me because I couldn't even walk I shuffled out of that clinic I shuffled out like an 80 year old woman who's got arthritis

who can't stand up I was bent over I was struggling to walk I felt sick and nauseous and he had to help me get into the passenger seat of the car I had mascara down my face where I'd been crying and he said to me like what the fuck happened in there I was like please just take me home I need painkillers I need a hot water bottle so I went home I was in a lot of pain that night and I couldn't sleep because I was in so much pain I had to have a hot water bottle and back-to-back painkillers and it cramped like oh I just the cramping it was fucking awful I couldn't deal with it in my head it was like right it was settled down it was settled down it did eventually settle down and it's wise to note now within the first month a girlfriend of mine also went and

had a copper core fitted also didn't have kids also at my age she was fine she left the clinic danced back home hasn't didn't even notice it was in it's a complete opposite experience so i'm talking about my story i'm not saying this is what happens to women who have the coil fitted this is just it can happen it happened to me right i want to make that very clear so within the first month it settled down but then when i next had my next real period the fucking pain the cramps the nausea it all returned oh my god it was awful I used to sit in a hot bath I remember saying to like my ex I was just like please help me please fucking help me he's like I don't know what to do and I just goes I don't know like I don't know you know I was back to back painkillers

I'd have to sleep the hot water bottle I couldn't sleep every period after it was fitted was that much pain and I kept going back in fact I was in so much pain I went back to them I was like you've got to remove it you've got to fucking remove it and then they were like well have you had sex I said yes have you had sex in the last seven days yes we can't remove it because sperm lives for up to seven days inside so you're gonna have to wait another week before we can then discuss removing it and I was like for fuck's sake I just want it out this was yeah within like the first month then I was convinced like right I've gone through the pain the the dark dark day of having this I used to call it Satan's child put into my body so I'm like right I can do this right it will

settle down that's what everyone says you know the first couple of months it's going to be painful it would settle down, it would settle down. Did it fucking settle down? Did it fuck? It got worse. The way I, it was six, seven months I endured the worst periods of my life. They were heavy, they were painful, they crushed me. Couldn't sleep, couldn't take enough painkillers, I couldn't stand up. All because I had fucking coil put in. And I used to get so pissed off with my partner and I'm like you don't even know what I've gone through just so you don't have to put fucking condom on like how is this fair or just because he doesn't want to put a condom on doesn't like the feeling of it like okay great but I'm dying inside once a month

every fucking month because of this so anyway it comes to a climax pun intended uh about seven months in I had the worst period pain of my life combined I've got to admit with a hangover to the point I was screaming and writhing like he found me on the floor in the bathroom and I was just sitting there in towels after a hot bath trying to like soothe the muscles to stop the pain and cramping and I just cry my eyes out like please please help me it got so bad I was then like I can't I felt sick I was like just got to get it out there's something wrong I was like this must be embedded into my womb or something it must be it must have moved somewhere and it's stabbing into me what happened was the ambulance ended up getting cold because I was in so much pain

and such a state that they then decided to take me to a hospital in the ambulance on the way there they put me on morphine because it was the only thing that would stop the pain I was just begging them get it out get it out get this thing out of me get it out get it out and morphine obviously helped you know wow that was a trip by the time I got to the hospital I was like what pain I'm cool uh no I wasn't um I was actually put on a drip as well and they were like look we can't take it out um there's no gynecologist working I was like just any doctor any doctor and at this point I generally thought I'm going to take it out myself now if you have a research online you'll see actually a lot of people do remove the coil themselves you shouldn't absolutely not it has to

be done by a professional but people would find oh this really is a TMI episode in it people go inside finger themselves find the end of the cord and cough squat cough and pull it out I was in so much pain I generally thought about doing that but in my head I was like it's causing me so much pain the fact that I'm even fucking on morphine now in hospital because it's embedded itself somewhere because that can happen as well right the coil can slip position and then embed into the womb lining which is not fun in fact there are even cases where the coil has slipped or moved around and the person gets pregnant and it comes out with the baby for fuck's sake like you hear all of these stories anyway I don't know what happened to mine where it went like from what I

gather it was not embedded anywhere so I don't understand to this day why I had such a physical adverse reaction to it but a lot of people were saying like your body can sense a foreign object and constantly tries to dispel it and that might be because maybe my body didn't accept this coil and it was always every month when the period came trying to get rid oh I don't know I don't know but the pain was so bad that the paramedics from the ambulance put me on morphine on the way to the hospital all for fucking contraception I can't believe it so after that night they told me there's no gynecologist working and I was just like someone fucking get it out get it out I just cry my eyes out get it out get it out get it out of me Satan's child must come out no I had to wait

I then was on a flight back to Singapore so as soon as I got back to Singapore the following week I booked myself in went to see someone and paid like 300 bucks I think it was to get it removed the removal process was literally right cough done so what oh yeah it's done is that is that it is that all i had to do fucking seven months of agony and being put in an ambulance because on my pain threshold is beyond beyond beyond and all i had to do was get someone to just pull it out and cough at the same time i was fucking raging then they were like do you want to keep it. Do I keep it? Do I? Fuck. I was like, get that thing away from me. I never want to see it again in my life. And actually, to be fair, when they showed it to me, like here it is, it was

tiny. It felt like, yeah, like I had something in there. It was huge and fucking tiny. I couldn't believe it. After that, periods were turned straight back to normal. The cramping went back down to a normal manageable level. And I've never felt happier. The best decision of my life was getting that fucking thing out of me. I left it seven months because I kept thinking perhaps it will settle down. It didn't. If it's past the six months threshold, in my opinion, and nothing's changed, I'm still in agony. That is not going to change from that point in. If you're thinking about getting an IUD inserted yourself, please talk to someone. See if you know you fit the criteria. Please heed that it can go this way. It's not all roses and you put it in and years

on end, you're baby free and life is great. You don't know it's in there. This happens because I'll live through it. And it also made me resent my partner because I was like, fuck you for making me do this. He didn't make me do this. It was a choice we made together. But yeah, that's my experience with what went down when I had a copper coil fitted. What went down was I ended up on fucking mole thing so yeah definitely speak to people if you're considering it do your research i would suggest perhaps i don't know make sure like i say you know if you've had kids it's a good option but like i said my friend had never had kids and she was fine absolutely fine so it's just definitely case by case but if you've experienced anything like this do reach out

to me and share your story are you dame not for me that's the end of this episode thanks for listening to the sex and singapore city podcast this episode was produced and hosted by me nick selena and recorded at the splice car studio in singapore i'm available to listen to on spotify apple podcasts google and all major podcast listening apps do subscribe to enjoy a new episode every monday evening please do give me a five-star review it helps other people also find my podcast for more awesome content and features to read you can check out my website sex and singaporecity.com that's sex and singaporecity.com i'm also on social media simply search at nick selena n-i-x-a-l-i-n-a to find me don't be shy come say hi