Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - Storytime - I Was Once Engaged...for 13 Days

Episode Date: November 17, 2020

Alas, it is true. Find out how and why and WHYYYYY my engagement went so very south, so very quickly.  I can laugh about it now of course. Sort of. 

this podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships and sex it may not be suitable for younger listeners this is the sex in singapore city podcast and i'm nixalina watson hello isn't me all looking for hello everyone i want to do a down now hello from now i'm going to stop hello ciao there's another episode and this one is quite something let me fucking tell you this is another story time which i know we all love who enjoyed the last story time where i punched intestinal worms to death wasn't that something wasn't that treasure this one is also just as fucked up and also just as real this one is called I got engaged

for 13 days one three people not 30 13 lucky number 13 I was engaged to the man I was with for 13 days. And here's how it went down. So I met this guy. I'm going to call him Josh. And this is should you guys buy my novel when I release it. This is sort of pretty much the leading to the novel, which then explodes into awesomeness. So this is a snippet, shall we say. so I met Josh when I was 20 just finishing up uni so I was in my third year of university in the UK and I met him in Kent and I was in Norwich so that's about a three hour three to four hour drive away from each other so it's not close and we started dating pretty quickly he became official pretty quickly and he was like I guess my first proper

grown-up boyfriend as it were I was besotted with him he had huge baby blue eyes dark brown hair that was a bit Zac Efron from High School Musical back in the day when that was cool I don't think that was ever cool by the way high school musical was never cool I'm gonna clear that right up but Zac Efron's hair you know Justin Bieber that floppy front do yeah I was here for it so we kind of had to do a semi-long distance relationship I had to go back up to uni but I would spend a lot of my spare time getting the train back down to see him he would drive up to see me. And yeah, I kind of, I guess, was super happy, I guess. I was trying to do my final year exams and preparation and all that jazz. And as most university students know, we try and salvage

all of the partying we've done in year one and two by pulling the finger out of our asses in year three and actually getting decent exam marks so I was sort of pretty focused on my work but also at the same time I felt just was a huge distraction a happy one nonetheless there was always this like angst about him his phone was always going off when I was with him and then like I would never be able to see who it was or there'll be random comments left on his Facebook wall this was back in the day when people actually communicated with each other via the Facebook wall rather than a private message. And he had an ex-girlfriend, this beautiful, tall, blonde girl who was somehow still on the scene as well. I think they broke up about nine months to a year

before I met him. And yet she'd be writing on his Facebook wall or there'd be the odd texts um but I kind of always with my angst anxious feelings still dismissed it so I'd ask Josh like I don't know do you still see her your ex he'd be like no or um who's that person I don't know just some random or his texts would go off who's that oh it's my mum or it's a workmate and I would just let him I guess palm me off I actually did I believe him I don't know because i always had this sort of sick worry if he was out and he was a bit of a wild one like he was in a bad crowd at the time so they would go out drinking down the pub and he thought he was the big i am and he kind of just yeah hung out with some really really shitty guys

um like one time i went he asked me to go pick him up from the pub and um that blood all over him and then two of his mates bundled into my tiny car and I had to like quickly drive them away and drive them home and obviously I got told nothing but like yeah like scenes like that he was he was super wholesome and this like mummy's boy but then there was like this little edgy bad side to him at the same time I guess that's like what kept me interested knowing me so I've like been with him I guess, by this point for about a year. I'm coming up to the summer of my last, last summer ever at uni. And I'm turning 21, which is obviously a big deal. I'm having this big party planned back where I live in Kent. I'm where Josh is living as well. Pretty much okay. Everything's

going great. We said I love you to each other a lot. Every time I'm around, he's, you know, cuddly all over me. Josh invites me to all of his family stuff. I've unfortunately met his mother often. His mother did not like me. She took a dislike to me because I wasn't blonde, because I had an opinion, because I didn't worship the ground everyone walked on. Yeah, she was she was quite an overbearing mother shall we say very very overbearing especially he was like the apple of her eye no woman was good enough no one was coming close to her baby and I was like fucking hell just couldn't deal with it I mean I had to because I loved him but fuck that so yeah so family gatherings he would take me to it he'd like hold my hand cuddle me a lot

show me off you know I met his mates and like oh this is your missus I was never hidden it was very proud to be around me and so for my 21st birthday he decides to surprise me and drive up to Norwich for the weekend and I was two months away from my final exams so I was sort of in the middle of doing a lot of fucking work and essays and dissertations but okay one weekend and obviously Like, I'd love to celebrate my 21st with him before I went back to Kent for my actual party. So he comes up and we go out for dinner to this tapas restaurant. And while we're there, he's asking me all these really deep questions like, you love me, don't you? And I'm like, of course.

And he's like, you've never cheated on me, have you? And I was like, my God, no, never. What? And I'm like, have you ever cheated on me then? He's like, no. And I'm like, why are you asking me this? he's like oh I just you know I want to check and make sure very aloof very like and just you know because I love you so much and I just was you know thinking he felt all like giddy with

love I guess and was maybe panicking somewhere because he was so in love with me that I might have cheated and you know I'm a student and I said no like you know I'm obsessed with you so we have this amazing meal and we go back to my student accommodation so at the time I'm sharing a house with two girls. I'm upstairs in my room and he says he goes off to the toilet which was downstairs and then he comes back up, gets on one knee, is shaking, looks like he's going to cry, pulls out a ring box from behind him in his back pocket and proposes. let's just fucking take that in a moment it it's my birthday i'm turning 21 at 21 i had no thought process about getting married i was all i literally couldn't focus on anything but getting through the

fucking summer exams and graduating uni i was doing english literature it ain't fucking easy I had to read 25 billion books a day that's what it felt like um I didn't want a 2-2 I was aiming for a BA on 2-1 that meant putting a lot of work in because I kind of pissed around my first year yeah he's on his knee the ring is in his fucking hand he looks like okay he's crying he's shaking he's saying oh my god I'm trembling I can't believe I'm doing this and he's proposing a yes they just come out yes I was like oh my god I just fucking said yes oh my god I just said yes in my head I was like everything everything was going off at once one fucking hell I've just got engaged two that means his mother is going to be my actual mother-in-law from hell three that is a

really small ring don't get me wrong size is not a thing for me I'm not big on materials or anything like that but it was so nothing like what I would ever fucking pick it was three tiny tiny diamonds in this squiggly line it was just no I don't it was nothing like I've never worn a ring like it and he's you know and I always have worn rings around him I've always got rings on so how did he get it so fucking disastrously wrong also I don't want to get married also I don't want to get married and also this is my birthday present so if I say no because I don't want to get married at 21 then I don't get a fucking birthday present isn't that a bit like well unfair

mate come on I feel like this is whole killing two birds one stone vibe here when you think I don't know what to get uh I don't know I'll keep her happy and propose and then that'll also double up as a birthday present but it feels like a very male logical mindset so yes yes yes I will marry you yes come out he stands up oh my god oh my god I can't believe you said yes mate nor can I if I'm totally fucking honest that makes two of us he's cuddling me I'm still gobsmacked then he's straight on the phone to his mom she said yes so his fucking mom's in on it as well which even royally fucked me over because i'm thinking that's probably the last thing she wants and then he's straight onto my computer and he changes the facebook setting from in a relationship

to engaged this was on my actual birthday so anyone who sees nick selena turns 21 today is now seeing nick selena is engaged to josh so then i get all these fucking insanely or what the hell messages from people and i'm thinking yeah i'm with you i don't fucking know what's going on either i'm engaged are you living your best life i'm not just talking about photos for the gram or looking good or the latest outfit i'm talking about your health and your happiness i for one really want to live my best life which is why i've kind of turned my attention on my exercise routine and my food choices. If you haven't done so yet, I encourage you to listen to my podcast episode with Heather from Suite Life Asia, where we talk about food choices,

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checkout enjoy your products and live your best life he stays the weekend my fiance bless him we have a lovely time he took a photo of my hand with the ring on sent it to all of his mates all of his mates text back what the fuck so everyone was on the same page as me except josh who was apparently overjoyed so it is super real because his mum is sending me a fucking card um yeah and I kind of woke up on the following day on my 21st the next morning thinking oh my god and the next day oh my god and that next day oh my fucking god he goes because he's only stayed for the weekend he goes back to Kent like skips home he is so happy and all I can do is keep looking down at my hand I can't fucking believe it and I my best friends from Kent are like

really happy for me but also like oh my god I think yeah it wasn't that long it was less than a year I'd actually been with him and it was less than a year he'd been with his ex as well so it all felt quite fast if I'm honest but apparently he was over the fucking moon so one of his girlfriends who's now my best friend he went off to a club with her the weekend after I'm still up in Norwich he's back down in Kent so like I said we're about four hours drive away for anyone who doesn't know the UK and I get these calls at like 2am where he's on the train back from a club in London and he's with this girlfriend and he's making all these strangers congratulate me for being engaged like oh congratulations I mean literally the whole carriage on the end of the

phone it's 2am I'm fucking exhausted but when he would go out I would be angst worried checking my phone yeah I think that's about right I was also at that point hashtag student life up all hours smoking drinking working pulling all nighters so it wasn't super rare for me to be up at that time but all these branders oh my god your fiance oh my fiance's on the phone I could hear him and I was like okay this is really sweet so he's been out clubbing and he wants everyone to wish him happy fiance happy engagement and all that jazz lovely isn't it lovely isn't this story fucking lovely so i was due to go back about two weeks after for my party and to see my family i like it's not that far on the train um and of course as well i'm now engaged so i should probably go back and

say hey mom i'm gonna get married apparently so um a week after this oh congratulations from random people um drunk on a train um I go back and stay at his house his parents are away and um yeah I'm gonna stay at his for the weekend spend some time with him because of this line of business he had to work on a Saturday so we woke up Saturday morning um skipped off to work and he said yeah I'll see you tonight and I was just like pottering around at his house and I was going to drive home and sort of see my family and freshen up and whatever. His little sister decided it would be a good idea to log into his Facebook. I could never tell you why. I could never ever understand the motive. She was a lovely, lovely girl. I mean, I say little, we're talking

about 14, 15, you know, so she's a teenager. She's not young, young. And I said, well, I haven't got his password, obviously. And she was like, no, but I have. And logged in. Right. So now I'm angst and I'm worried because I've kept, of course, an eye on his Facebook page. As I said earlier, the ex and other randoms were leaving mysterious messages on his wall. One of these randoms was a girl never met her before never no idea it was complete stranger who'd wrote something cryptic like what you're doing calling me silly um like as long as you're okay or something when I asked him about it he said that it was just a random he'd like bumped into a club like someone who used to go to school with like you know so that's why she's on his Facebook

she was like in the nicest possible way so hideous I didn't really hang on to that at all I just went okay fine whatever it really bothered me but I didn't see a threat in it and then there was another blonde girl who was in photos with him that I kind of got a bit I don't know who that is but um another school friend of course he was popular at school wasn't he what kind of fucking school did you go to um and then every time also part of the Facebook worry and angst was that any photo I tagged him in he never accepted so there was loads of couple photos of us on my page but on his page there was no photos of me at all unless he put them up so his Facebook had always been somewhat of a question mark in my eyes and when I was up in Norwich and he was down in Kent

it did fuel a lot of my insecure girlfriend vibe many and many a nights I have looked at his page looked at this girl this girl said why did you call me in and I'm like but why is he calling a girl in the middle of the night. That's what she's wrote. Why is she saying she hopes he's okay? Why would you not be okay? Who is she? It sparked a lot. This boy, dear Josh, could talk his way out of a padded room, right? So he talked his way through me like I've never met before. And I believed him. I believed everything he said because I was a sucker for love. I was an absolute sucker for romance, for love, for, I thought, you know, someone loves me and this is my boyfriend and he says he loves me. That's it. All that bullshit. So his sister's logged in,

isn't she? I've seen the stuff on his wall. That's public. That doesn't bother me. All the pictures that I've tagged him in, he's already deactivated them. He's not, they're not sitting there waiting for approval he's just denied and then she goes into his messages I don't know why I don't know why I can only fathom that she knew what was coming and wanted to tell me somehow in his messages this woman who had said why did you call me I just hope you're okay right the one I said was hideous the one that's like he said was an old school friend and he bumped into her. He had wrote to her the words, sorry, one word, slag. And she wrote back, yeah, but you're fucking this slag. Lol. Yeah, but

you're fucking this slag. Well, I don't know why a girl would accept a name as a slag either. like why is she doing that to just confirmed that my fiance is sleeping with her so i read it his little sister starts panicking oh my god oh my god oh my god so i'm like no no no no no no no and i'm starting to get angry i'm like right click on her profile so we clicked on her profile and being quite the detective that most women are when we need to find that information I got this girl's phone number I dial it making sure that my number is withheld she picks up and I said hi I just want to know how many times you fucked my fiance and she was like um um um I don't know what you're talking about I said yeah you do Josh

oh I said yeah Josh he's my fiance can you tell me how many times you fucked him please just once I was like really I said I'm not angry at you I'm not angry at you you're single you're not the problem Josh is who I'm angry at but I need you to tell me the truth and let me tell you ladies if you connect with a woman in this moment right and you don't blame the woman even though it could be but you say look he's the cunt right he is the fucking bastard you haven't propose to me it's actually not your problem but i want you to start owning up and telling me the truth because i'm not angry at you i need to know when i'm talking to him you will get the truth if you ring them up and go you're a fucking slut how fucking dare you you're not gonna get any

truths and you're not gonna get any respect fyi so she said all right fine a few times I went how long about three months three months okay thanks very much put the phone down okay so I'm proposed missed fucking this girl or or has he fucked her afterwards or is he proposing because he's been sleeping around for three months so I pick up the phone and I dull my dearest Josh So I pick up the phone and I dial my dearest Josh. And he's like, hey, baby. I said, hey, who the fuck is blah, blah, blah, blah. Insert her name.

Silence. I don't know. I just told you, some girl from school. I went, yeah. What, you've been fucking sleeping with her? What? I went, yeah, I know. How many times have you slept with her?

I haven't slept with her. What are you fucking talking about? How many times have you slept with her? I haven't, I just, I told you, how many times have you slept with her? Right, I went on and on. You lied. I went, right. Well, I'm going to let you know that I've just got off the phone to her.

So I suggest you tell me how many times you slept with her. Then I could hear it registering. Oh, Nix has actually spoken to her. So my 10 minutes of fucking bullshit was pointless because nix has all the while whole the time knew and spoke to her but pretended not to i'm not gonna lay out my cards on the table straight away i want to see the extent of his fucking lies 10 minutes he lied to me i haven't yeah i've spoken to her then i get this okay it was once it was one time and i completely regret it i'm so sorry it was one time and um i like

honestly I only I didn't really know her she was a Facebook friend I only met her properly like a few weeks ago and it was just a drunken night it meant nothing I was already got the ring for you I was already going to propose to you I've just got a bit nervous I guess I was thinking about marriage and all this I went all right because she says it's been three to four months and she says it's been multiple times oh right hung up the phone he then texts don't go anywhere i'm coming straight home so he'd left his job to come back and try and salvage the hell that i was gonna put him through his little sister was then losing her shit crying please don't please don't go please don't leave me with him please don't go please don't go and I was like I'm like packing my shit

I like took the ring off slammed it on his bedroom side just got all my crap together because obviously I was staying there and I was about to leave and she was really upset and I was like you know what I'm not gonna leave her to deal with him because he'll want to blame someone right but himself so then I and I was like actually part of me is curious to see him in person so I was like fuck it fine everything's packed put it all in my car and then I just waited for him to turn up and I was in the kitchen when he'd come in and he was like oh I'm really sorry I'm really sorry and I'm so sorry and all this jazz and just bullshitted me for a few hours and um that was the 13th day since he proposed on my 21st

so after I listened to his bullshit I then went home I left the ring at his I went on my Facebook I took off my engagement status which was humiliating but I had to do it because I just was like I wanted this guy out of my fucking life and I just was I felt so embarrassed and stupid and I didn't even want him to put the fucking status up in the first place he changed it on my 21st right like that was not me and 13 days later I now have to remove it because he's been fucking some other girl for over three months behind my back someone like that he feels he can call a slag like that and talk down to like that and she'll be like yeah but you're fucking me I was like, I just, the whole thing was fucking hideous.

The whole thing was a disaster. And it turned out the girlfriend, who's now my best friend, who was out the night he was clubbing, when he was on the train, getting all the drunks to wish me happy engagement, right, getting the whole couch, she told me he also got with a girl that night as well. in the club. So he had already cheated before his engagement for three months with this woman. He proposes on my 21st. And then less than a week later, he's out clubbing in London and cheats on me with another different girl in the club. And then pissed out of his face,

gets the whole train carriage to call me up at 2am and congratulate his fiance on her engagement and tell me how I'm the best thing ever and he can't wait to marry me. Having just stuck his tongue down some girl's throat, a different woman to the other one he'd been fucking screwing behind my back for months. Yeah. You know what? I think I might have fucking dodged a bullet with that one. Don't you?

And there it is. That's the story of why I was only engaged for 13 days And I'm pretty sure I rival the likes of Paris Hilton when it comes to the shortest engagement. I guess unless you get it annulled, like, what was that, Britney Spears? I think she got us annulled after that one night. Yeah, apart from that, that's obviously pretty short. But yeah, 13 days. I was a fiancé for 13 days.

And I'm now 33. And I still not been a fiancé since. So that's the only engagement I've ever had. And what a fucking catastrophe it was. That is the end of this story time. I hope you enjoyed it. I mean, it wasn't fun for me, but at least we can look back and lol together. Thanks for listening to the Sex and Singapore City podcast.

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