Can't Keep My Mouth Shut - Storytime - I Went to Paris & the Police Tear-gassed my Face

Episode Date: January 25, 2021

I swear, only I could go to the most romantic city in the world, for a long romantic weekend break with a man...only to end up teargassed in the face by the police. Tune in and find out why...  For more content, head over to: http://sexandsingaporecity.com/ Or come say Haiiiiii Nixxxx on Instagram: @nixalina

This podcast contains strong language and discussions about relationships, sex, and love. It may not be suitable for younger listeners. This is the Sex in Singapore City podcast, and I am Nick Salina. Hi, guys. Welcome back to my podcast. Yo, how are we all doing on this Monday evening? It's been a while since I've done a little cheeky story time. So this one is something I completely even forgot that like someone brought it up. And I was like, oh, yeah, shit, that did happen to me. So this one is called I went on a romantic weekend to Paris and got tear gassed in the face by the police.

So, yeah, only me. I just feel like shit happens to me. and I'm not looking for it. So yes, this is what went down. There was a guy from my university who I was like, we were probably more than friends, but like just friends, but there was definitely chemistry there. And we spent a lot of time together. And I was working in a magazine in London at the time. And he was like, hey, like random, let's go to Paris for the weekend. and i was like random yes fucking yes fyi paris is always a good idea okay well unless you get tear gassed then it's the worst idea so me and this guy we go for a three day two night break

in the city this is not my first time in paris at all um but he was such a gent like i remember when we got a cab from the station he didn't tell me which hotel we're staying in and he like made me cover my eyes I was like it's a surprise like you can't see in the cab ride and basically pulled up at this beautiful hotel near the Champs Elysees it was so special because he was a club owner and a DJ. His time clock was super different from mine. Right. So he was on on a night shift while I was on the day shift. So when like the first day we woke up and we had breakfast or whatever, he's like, look, I really have to go back to bed. So I was like, no, it's cool. I'm going to go and do like my tourist thing, you know, like I've used the metro before. I'm all good. And I felt very,

you know, sex in Paris city. Like, oh, I'm going to put my little beret on. It's such a cliche, isn't it? Go and see all the sights. So I went off on myself. I left him in bed asleep and I went to the Notre Dame. I went to the Eiffel Tower and I basically, I had lunch by myself and I just did all of these, these hotspots and cool shit. I went down the Champs by myself, out to Triomphe, took all these photos and whatever literally i live in my best life so he's like let's meet up about 3 p.m so we meet up at the montparnasse montparnasse i fyi anyone french listening sorry for crucifying your language like i'm so sorry i'm not a language girl so the mont the montparnasse tower is like a super super super high tower in in the city where you can see like

a 360 degree panoramic view of the whole of Paris it's fucking stunning so he met me there after he'd slept all day for coffee and like then he was like right um I want to go to the Louvre so I was like okay fine I am well equipped with the metro I can sort this out and then we were looking out of the windows of obviously this Mount Peninsular and he was like oh look down there there's like loads of heavy duty police and there was just it was like riot police so there was a shit ton of like in rows police like all geared up they had batons their helmets and whatnot like you can I mean obviously like we were really far up but you can tell that they weren't just you know the average policeman in a hat down the street so I was like oh that's a bit weird anyway so let's

go to the metro. He's like, no, no, I want to walk there. Famous last words. I want to walk to the Louvre. So we looked at a map. He's like, it's totally walkable. And I was like, yeah, OK, fine. We can do some more sightseeing. Like I've had a coffee. It was super chill. So we go down from the tower and we start walking to the Louvre. And there is this street that's been cornered off. All the restaurants and bars and whatnot and shops were shut and there was this protest well I think it was a peaceful march if I'm totally honest so these guys were all walking down the street there's loads of people with their banners and obviously like talking in a language I don't really know what's going on so I was just looking

around like oh okay hey but because they were walking down the middle of the street and all the pavement was cornered off all of the pedestrians we were kind of like caught like like herded into pavements okay so it was very very busy and kind of people everywhere he's just up the road for me so it's a little bit of a hill we're pushing our way through the crowds trying to get to the Louvre the march is going down the road and sporadically there are these very very heavy clad French police in bulletproof vests all in black they had baddens they had all this jazz and then the next thing you know it's not funny like I always laugh through my stories and my podcast like no heartbreak no someone stole my dress at a sex party

no my ex cut my toe off it's not funny but you know it's all I've got humor is my thing so he goes oh look there's a balaclava guy running past and he went there's loads of them he's up the road these guys run rush past him I'm a bit down the road and it's slightly on a hill right so I'm lower down then they rush past me they're all in black they've all got balaclavas you can't see their face they're running through the crowd bit they're not in the protest in the middle of the street they're on the pavement with the crowd the pedestrians us so then they push past me I turn around to see what's going on I feel like any normal human would do that the next thing you know these fucking heavy clad French police come out of like I say come out of

nowhere they they were standing stoic just surrounding the march and suddenly they're on the pavement in a group and tear gassing the fucking crowd so these balaclava men I don't know I still don't know who the fuck they were what was going on obviously we're getting tear gassed but in the process so were we so I happened to turn around right at the fucking right time or wrong time and they went sprayed it at this balaclava guy right into his face which happened to be right into my face oh my god the mental anguish and panic that happened next it was like a scene out of a movie. Everyone is screaming. I can't see anything. So I can hear kids crying and screaming. It's like pandemonium. And I can't see this guy where he is. He's just up the hill

trying to come back and get me. So he's walking back into tear gas to try and come and get me. I'm trying to get up the hill, but I can't see anything. I can't breathe. I can't fucking see my face is on fire. And I didn't even have enough time to register who sprayed the tear gas. So I had no idea what it was. And all I know is my face is on fire. So I thought that like the Balaclava guys have gone into this crowd knowing there's a crowd of pedestrians and sprayed something really fucking lethal. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't see. My face was on fire. I was so scared. And everyone is screaming. So imagine you can't see anything because your eyes are in so much pain. It feels like your eyeballs are burning.

By the way, I'm sure there's lots of army people who have like tear gas training and they're listening to this like, bitch, you need to grow a fucking pair. Okay, maybe I do. Maybe you love a weekly tear gas in the face. I fucking don't. It was my first rodeo. I certainly don't want it ever again. It was awful. So I'm pretty sure I knocked over a couple of kids and I can't really such a haze, literally. And I managed to get up the hill a little bit and he'd come back to get me so he grabs my hand and he starts pulling me up and he just screams everywhere and I just say I'm like I can't breathe I can't breathe I can't breathe and all the restaurants and bars and shops are shut they're closed because of this march or this protest so we're like trying to bang on doors

we can't see anything um so we kind of the first thing we did was basically run up the hill and just kind of bashing on restaurant doors and stuff and eventually someone let us in and we went to the bathroom and he was like right splash water on your face so I'm there like trying to like breathe and see just splashing all this water on my face and I'm pretty sure if I'm not wrong that water is the worst thing to put on tear gas I think it like reacts with it correct me if I'm wrong guys though for those who've been to gas like me so my face was then like reignited on fire I've just never honestly felt pain like this it's not even like the pain it was the fear I don't know what it was and I was like there's a chemical in my throat there's a chemical in my

eyes I'm in a foreign country I can't understand what everyone's screaming the whole crowd is screaming it was awful awful awful so we eventually find a quiet spot I'm like super hyperventilating by this point he's on the phone to his brother trying to find out what the fuck it was going on like trying to get them to help us like what do you do if you've been tear gassed or you know like what was it or what is the march and the brother basically was really damn helpful and jumped straight onto the internet so thank you for that and then we went back to the hotel room obviously got a cab back did not make it to the Louvre at all and then I just basically like my I remember sitting in a bath like oh feeling really sorry for myself my face was like a beetroot red and my body

was white and he's like are you okay there yeah and we went out for dinner that night trooper that I am um and I couldn't put any makeup on or anything because my face was on fire it was bright fucking red so when we went out for dinner he was just making jokes about like how sitting opposite me is putting him off his food I can't blame him it was awful yeah and then the following I think we had uh one more two more days to recover but basically by this point I just wanted to go home I was absolutely terrified of being there um it completely ruined the whole weekend the whole experience I know that he tried really hard to make it like super romantic you know like what we're trying to surprise me with the

hotel and all that jazz and yeah the French police tear gassing me in the face basically destroyed all romance and made me look like a beetroot the whole weekend. And that's the story of how I got tear gassed by the police in Paris. Thanks for listening to the Sex and Singapore City podcast. This episode was produced and hosted by me, Nick Salina, and recorded at the Splice Car Studio in Singapore. I'm available to listen to on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google and all major podcast listening apps. Do subscribe to enjoy a new episode every Monday evening. Please do give me a five-star

review. It helps other people also find my podcast. For more awesome content and features to read, you can check out my website, sexandsingaporecity.com. That's sexandsingaporecity.com. i'm also on social media simply search at nixalina n-i-x-a-l-i-n-a to find me don't be shy come say hi